Work Text:
Percy didn't know when the aching started.
Maybe when his mom said he was a brother now, as he was holding little Estelle for the first time.
Maybe when Paul called him a true man the day of his 18th birthday.
Maybe when Annabeth introduced him as his boyfriend to her mortal family.
Maybe when Leo joked and said Percy was exactly the man he aspired to be.
Maybe when Nico made his coming out and said he liked men and men only.
Maybe when Annabeth asked him to be his boyfriend.
Maybe when he was called a son of Poseidon.
Maybe when this girl in 6th grade and him put makeup on each other instead of going to gym.
He remembered the girl's giggles as she called him pretty.
He didn't know when it started, but it was there now, and nothing could make it leave. He had tried to become normal again, to feel like a man, to be a boy, but it just made the ache stronger.
He couldn't ignore it now. He hadn't told anyone that he didn't want to be a boy anymore -- he actually didn't let himself think about how he didn't want to be a boy anymore, but it seemed like he had failed because now it was the only thing he could think about.
And there he was, lazily sitting against Jason's steady side, watching the other boys chat with enthusiasm. For what they called their 'monthly boys night', and this designation only made the itch under Percy's skin grow, and he had to watch Will and Nico fight over the last Ritz as Leo, lying on his boyfriend's lap, argued with Jason about whom, of Romeo Montague and Albus Dumbledore was the most indefensible (Percy was on Romeo's side).
When Nico, in a moment of weakness, left the Ritz to his 'friend', and Jason and Leo came to a compromise -- they had both agreed that Harry Potter in Cursed Child outperformed their two contestants --, they all decided to watch a mortal movie. BPM (Beats Per Minute) had been on their to-watch list for too long, so Percy was trying to carry on regardless of the slow Wi-fi that Leo had hacked and open the damn movie.
"D'you think I could avoid the harpies, take the stuff from my nightstand and come back ?" asked Leo, straightening up.
"I bet 5 bucks I'd have to stitch back your other leg." was Will's response.
Leo whined loudly, letting himself slump against Frank, and muttered something about rules and trans rights.
"Why can't all harpies be as kind as Elle ?" he complained.
"I could get it for you." said Nico. "Shadow travel." he explained at Jason's raised eyebrow.
"See, big guy ?" Leo rolled his eyes, probably trying to look mad. "Even Nico's a better friend than you're a boyfriend to me."
"That doesn't make any sense." frowned Jason.
"Y'should know I never do any."
Leo sighed loudly, and Percy wondered what was the stuff they were talking about. He'd probably look like a moron if he asked now, and the movie wasn't gonna turn on by itself.
"Say, Perce, didn't Annabeth left any pads in here ?" asked Will as Percy was fighting the sound settings.
"Uh, she did, in the bathroom Medicine closet. Why ?"
He didn't get any answers. Leo rushed to the bathroom of the Poseidon Cabin, shouting a thank and a 'Tell Annie I'm borrowing one !'. Why did Leo need a pad ?
The movie started and Percy pushed his questions away, freezing the screen as they waited for their friend.
His mind quickly drifted to his ache again, the feeling becoming stronger as the others chatted about something that happened during Capture the Flag -- Percy knew nothing about it since he arrived at noon the same day.
"Thanks Perce." said Leo when he came back. He lied on his boyfriend's lap, a hot water bottle on his stomach. "You're a lifesaver."
He groaned, slouched against Frank, who just fondled his boyfriend's hair, gently. Which was weird. Frank and Leo were together, happy, very much in love, but unlike Nico and Will -- who still claimed they were just friends --, they weren't all lovey-dovey around folks -- Leo often sat on Frank's lap, but he sat on everyone's lap, liking to tease them and Percy had to admit that Leo's weight on his knees was comforting. Frank and Leo would continue to tease each other, their little rivalry still going on despite the fact they were dating and had nothing to prove. They were like that. The only time Percy really saw them act like a couple was when Leo had this weird flu during the Winter Solstice, and still insisted on coming to the celebrations. Frank had stayed quietly with his boyfriend all evening, his hand resting on Leo's back, kissing his temples and knuckles every time he got a chance, until Leo finally gave up and let his boyfriend drag him to his Cabin to have some rest.
So seeing them act so affectionate to each other wasn't usual.
"Why did you need pads ?" asked Nico.
Percy pricked up his ears, waiting for the answer.
"I'm in my monthly blood sacrifice for the gods of fertility." said Leo, rolling his eyes and taking a mouthful of crisps. "Period," he added when Nico raised his eyebrow in confusion. "I'm transgender."
"You what ?" exclaimed Percy way more loudly than he wanted to, but how could he know ? He didn't notice, never, and he felt like a shitty friend. He was having some kind of crisis about his manly identity, but it didn't mean he had to be such a rank friend.
"Transgender," said Nico pensively. "isn't it when you change gender ?"
"Nuh uh. I've always been a boy. Won't change that. 'ts just that gods got confused and gave me fem parts."
"And everyone else knew ?"
"I know since yesterday." said Jason with sharpness.
"Jeez, I already apologized !"
"Whatever." Jason rolled his eyes.
Nico shrugged and got himself closer to Will, already over it -- he took it quite well for someone from the 40s. Percy, however, wasn't done. A million questions were running in his mind, and he thought about the ache, the itch, that came everytime he thought about being a boy, a man, and he asked the first question that came : "How did you know you're a boy ?"
"Don't know. I was young. Told my Mama 'bout it, she was fine with having a son. She changed my name and I became a boy. End of the story."
"Oh."
Percy was kinda disappointed. He hoped that maybe, maybe, Leo had answers to his questions, that he could help Percy with the ache that crawled into his skin. Leo's words, 'I'm transgender', echoed in his mind, and he knew, somehow, that it was something important, something that had to do with the ache.
Was Percy transgender ?
He tried, as the movie started, to think. If he was a she, would the ache disappear ?
He tried to imagine. Being a girl. A woman. He felt better, the ache shrinked, but it was still there. He wasn't quite sure, he maybe would be less aching, but it was still there. It didn't feel right.
"Since it's the day of revelations," said Jason as the main character was doing something he was, as a main character, supposed to do to maintain his position as the main character. "I'm demiboy. And I, unlike some people here, didn't hide it from any of you for 2 years, since I discovered it yesterday."
"I apologized !"
"I identify as a boy," said Jason, deliberately snubbing Leo. "But also as nonbinary."
"Nonbinary ?"
Percy's heart pounded in his chest, a feeling of eagerness taking over him.
"That's an umbrella term for people who are neither a boy nor a girl."
Neither a boy nor a girl
Neither a by nor a girl
Nonbinary
Percy opened his mouth, closed it, and some sudden sentiments invaded him.
"Perce, ya good ?"
"I think I'm nonbinary." was Percy's answer, and even if it didn't resolve anything, it resolved everything, and these few words were like an explosion of feelings, and Percy felt like he was whole for the first time in forever. He remembered this girl 6th grade, who used to refer to him without gendering him, without using any pronouns. Maybe she knew, and maybe that was why Percy had felt so comfortable around her at that time -- and he felt sorry for not remembering her name.
"Fuck." let out Leo as Will paused the movie.
"Shut it ! What are your pronouns ?"
Percy blinked. He didn't think that far, he just discovered everything, and he suddenly remembered Annabeth. He had to tell her.
"I... don't know ? What am I supposed to have ?"
"Most nonbinary people used they/them." said Frank, patting Leo's shoulders.
"But you can still use he/him, or they/he. Doesn't matter. Whatever you're the most comfortable with."
"I think I'd like they/them. To try."
The aching had eased, and Percy felt arms hugging him, and tapped on Jason's shoulder as the son of Jupiter grinned widely, looking like a pup happy to see his master happy.
"Well, we support you, obviously. And you can take all the time in the world to figure everything out."
"I have honestly no idea of what happened but I agree with Jason." said Nico, pulling a bag of Ritz out of nowhere. "Can we head back to the movie ? I think they were about to kiss."
"Dude, don't ruin the moment ! We finally got some Jercy bromance !"
Percy smiled.
There was no itch under his- no, their skin, and they were with their friends, being accepted, and they knew their girlfriend would too, even if it would take time for both of them to adjust to everything. But Percy knew it would be fine, since their close ones were all so supportive.
Everything would be fine, they knew it.