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They are about twenty minutes into a lighthearted chat and halfway through a Darjeeling teapot when Tim decides to tackle the thing that's been niggling him.
“Hey, Rach. I have a question.”
Rachel looks at him, curious. Fair enough. Tim doesn't usually declare a question before asking it.
“Al told me the other day he's trying to get some kind of a secret out of someone? The thing is, he was suspiciously cagey about who that someone actually is. Know anything about that?”
Rachel lets out an unexpected loud laugh, and Tim's eyes narrow.
“Yeah, I'll say I know what that's about,” She manages when the laughter subsided, “it’s all he's been talking about for months. God.” Rachel shakes her head in what looks like tired resignation. He looks at her quizzically, now even more curious.
“He says it's for a ‘project’” Rachel said, accompanying the word with actual air quotes, “He's gonna write another book, so it's all very important and hush hush.” She shakes her head. “The sad thing is, he actually believes that's all there is to it.”
Well, if Alex got himself obsessed with another project, that would explain Rachel's apparent exasperation. Although him not sharing this kind of thing with Tim is odd. Tim tries not to let it sting. Wait - “A book? What? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with secrets?“
Rachel raises her eyebrows meaningfully. “It's for the tenth anniversary of Taskmaster.” she said, looking at him like it's supposed to clear everything up.
Tim thinks about it for a moment. What does Taskmaster have to do with it? Then he thinks about the rest of it, combined with Rachel’s reactions.. He feels something heavy settling inside him, his eyes widening. “Oh. Oh no. Tell me he isn't.”
“He is!” Rachel exclaimed, maybe a bit too loud. She looks like she was just waiting for him to ask about it, Tim realizes. Alex is such a prick sometimes, but usually he's better when it comes to his wife.
“How does he even imagine it's going to work?” He asks, feeling even more confused than before. “Like a biography or something? That's mental!”
“Oh, you know him, nothing as straightforward as that. He's thinking about it like his other projects - one year mission to learn Greg's biggest secret he never told anyone. I shouldn't tell you this, by the way, but fuck it. If I need to deal with this for a year, he can deal with me bitching about it to my friend.”
Tim shakes his head. “That's feces, Rach. Even by Al's standards, and that's saying something.” Rachel nods emphatically, as if to say - finally someone who’ll understand this absurdity. She's probably been living with this for months at this point. “I mean, what does he even tell himself? That Greg will be just fine with him publishing a, what - a tell all? He lost his fucking mind.”
“I know! But please don't give him the credit of imagining he thought it through. Honestly? He mainly uses this ‘project’ as an excuse to hang out with Greg more.” She snorts. “Wanna hear the most Alex thing you've ever heard? They actually managed to dare each other into a weekly meeting! God. Why are men so stupid?”
“Nurture? Testosterone?” Tim shrugs. “I know I don't exactly have a leg to stand on here, but we both know Al's always been a prime specimen of the repressed English gentleman.” He frowns, looking at Rachel with a more serious expression.
“You okay? How are you dealing with the whole - well.” He waves his hand in a vague motion.
Rachel looks to the side and shrugs. “Fine.” she says, taking a sip of the now cold tea. She holds a neutral expression until she glances at Tim's skeptical face and then sighs.
“It's not like any of this is exactly news, you know. Not like I didn't know -” She stops talking and Tim's heart sinks. “I guess I just want him to actually come forward and admit it. But that would require him to acknowledge it to himself first, I suppose.”
Tim looks at her with worry. He feels almost sick. He knows Alex has his - obsessions, crushes, whatever you want to call it, and of course he knew there was something of that flavor directed towards that stupid giant, but he never thought it's anything more than a quirk, never heard Rachel talk about it like that. To be fair, he never heard her talk about the subject at all, and that in itself feels damming. He can hardly bring himself to ask the next question.
“Do you think he realizes?”
When Rachel just shakes her head he continues, “Well. maybe this stupid project would open his eyes, shake him a little. Though I admit, his skull is unusually thick.” He pauses for a moment and looks at Rachel, debating with himself for a moment if he should continue.
“What. hmm. What do you imagine you'll do if, and mind you, it's a huge if, by some miracle, he'll figure it out?”
Rachel is quiet for so long that Tim starts to feel like he overstepped. He's about to apologize, maybe try and change the subject, when she finally talks.
“I've been reading this book. About. Well. About open marriages.” She says it so quietly Tim almost thinks he imagined it. He feels his jaw drop along with his heart, and he stares at her in shock. Rachel refuses to look at him.
“Rach, that's -” He has no idea what to say to that. He knows he should probably try and say something encouraging, but it feels like every word he ever knew left his brain.
After what feels like ages, Rachel finally looks at him, her expression determined.
“I know it's unusual. I know it's weird. Believe me, I know. But I don't want to lose him. I don't want to lose our family.” At this her voice breaks, and Tim can see her blinking away tears. He grabs her hand over the table and squeezes, his own vision blurred. He tries to regain control of his voice.
“Rach, love, I know the man's an idiot, I know. But he also thinks the sun shines out of your ass.” He tries for a smile. “He’ll never do something he knows will hurt you, you know that, right? He might have a - a crush, I don't know, you know how he gets around big boys, but it doesn't mean he's going to do anything as stupid as that.”
Rachel looks at him, her nose properly red now. In other circumstances, Tim would tease her about it. She swallows a few times.
“I don't think it's a crush, Timmy.” She says quietly, and Tim feels it like a knife to his heart. Because Alex and Rachel have always been Alex and Rachel, almost as long as he's known Alex. And also, because, if Alex has really gone and fallen in love with - no. he's not gonna even glance down that road, not to mention step on it.
He has no idea what to say to this, nor does he trust his voice, so instead he stands up and moves to sit next to Rachel, who immediately buries her face in his shoulder. He circles her with his arms and holds her tight while she cries silently into his jumper. He wants so badly to be mad at Alex, but, just like always when it comes to that absolute pillock, he finds that he can't. He rests his head on top of Rachel's and closes his eyes. They'll figure it out together.