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Just like that, Bobby was gone.
After the funeral, everyone drifted back to their own homes. It didn’t feel real. Two weeks ago, they were laughing. They were a family. It was supposed to be a normal shift, a routine call. No one ever imagined it would end like this. That Bobby would be the one who didn’t make it back. That the 118 would lose a member of their family.
Buck sat on the edge of his bed, hands tangled in his hair, staring at nothing. Numb. Confused. Heartbroken. Eddie was in the living room, FaceTiming Chris to catch him up on everything that had happened that day.
Buck didn’t know what to feel. He wasn’t even sure how to feel. He was just in survival mode, barely, replaying Bobby’s words over and over in his head, “Be strong. They need you, Buck”. But how was he supposed to be strong? Another person in his life just left him again, not like Bobby chose to leave him willingly. It was inevitable, considering there was only one cure in the world, and of course, Bobby, being the man he is, gave it to Chim since he was about to be a father again.
Buck knew Bobby wasn’t his real “dad,” but he sure as shit was more of a dad to Buck than his actual father was. Everyone teased him about being Bobby’s unofficial son. And Buck had loved him like one. Bobby was the father Buck had always wanted. Bobby taught him so much at the 118. Taught him how to be strong, be level-headed. So many of his hobbies, like baking, were because of Bobby. What haunted him now, what made his heart break even more, was that Buck never said “I love you too” after Bobby said, “I love you, kid.”
Buck inhaled sharply, trying to force the tears down, but his chest ached like it was caving in. He couldn’t breathe. This couldn’t be real. This can’t be real. This wasn’t the time to break down. He had to be strong. Bobby told him that the 118 was going to need him, but he wished that Bobby hadn’t placed all that heavy burden on his shoulders.
A soft knock came at the door.
“Buck?”
He looked up. His eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and his voice caught as he tried to sound okay.
“Hey, Ed’s”
But the crack in his voice gave him away.
“Oh, Buck,” Eddie said, heart aching as he stepped into the room. He didn’t know the full story of Buck’s last moments with Bobby, but he knew enough. He crossed the room and sat beside him.
Buck turned to him, and the moment their eyes met, he broke. A sob tore from his chest, raw and unfiltered, and Eddie caught him without hesitation. He pulled Buck into his arms, holding him like he was trying to piece him back together. One arm cradled Buck’s head, the other wrapped tight across his back.
“Shhh... Buck, I know,” Eddie whispered, his voice breaking as he rubbed his back. “I know you’re hurting; you don’t have to pretend with me. You’re safe.”
“I can’t... Eddie, I can’t...” Buck choked out between sobs, gasping for air.
And Eddie just held him tighter, because right now, it was all he could do. There was nothing, absolutely nothing Eddie could say that could make this right.
He should have been there. Eddie should have been with the 118 when this happened. He knows this sounds ridiculous- that his being there could not have changed the outcome. But that also was his family. Eddie blinked back his tears. Bobby saved his life, but he couldn’t be there to save Bobby's.
A few minutes went by, and Buck finally collected himself. He released himself from Eddie’s grasp and looked up at him with his glossy eyes. “Thank you,” he said, with a hushed voice.
Eddie’s eyes soften while looking at Buck. His buck, his strong, handsome, amazing best friend.
“Of course, Buck. I’ll always be here for you.”
Buck took a sharp breath and just stared at Eddie. He knew Eddie meant that, but he’s not going to be here in LA forever. His life is in El Paso. Christopher is in El Paso. Immediately remembering this, Buck got up and walked to the bathroom to collect himself once more. Buck couldn’t take any more losses.
“Wait, Buck, are you sure you’re okay?” Eddie said with confusion in his voice. He knew Buck was hurting, but so was Eddie. Why did Buck look like Eddie just hurt him even more?
Buck turned around and looked over at his best friend, “Yeah, yeah, no, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Trying to sound confident in his voice, trying to pretend that he is okay. Because if he tells himself enough times that he is okay, eventually he will be, right?
Eddie just stared at him. Speechless. What could Eddie say at this point? Both of their worlds have changed irrevocably. Any words that Eddie could say would just feel like a lie on his part. He knows his best friend; he knows this is how he copes. From this point on, Eddie would do anything to put a smile on Buck’s face.
┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
Buck woke up the next morning, exhausted and hurt. Still, he put a smile on his face and went on his day to get ready for work. This would be the first shift that everyone would be back together since the funeral. He made his way to the kitchen and stood in the doorway. Eddie was already up and had prepared his version of breakfast. It wasn’t much, just some cereal and a cup of coffee, but it was something. Buck made a mental note that he needed to pick up groceries after his shift.
“Hey, Buck!” Eddie said with his mouth full of cereal, “I made us some breakfast and some coffee, although I don't think you could consider me making the breakfast since all I had to do was pull out the milk and cereal,” he said as he softly chuckled.
Buck just stared at Eddie. Eddie looked back at him with a confused look on his face, “You good? I know today will be rough since it'll be the first day back after everything.”
Buck, of course, nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I mean it’ll be a little weird, but Gerard will be interim Captain until the station can fill in the empty position…”
Eddie just nodded and continued to eat his breakfast, “I think I’m gonna head over to Karen’s this morning, catch up with her and Hen before Hen’s shift starts.”
Buck looked a little stunned. He thought Eddie would be itching to go back to El Paso, especially since Chris was still there and they hadn't really discussed how long Eddie was going to stay in the house. “Oh, okay, when do you plan on going back to El Paso? He said, trying not to sound standoffish. Eddie just stared at him, “Uh, I’m not sure I need to talk to my parents and obviously talk to Chris.”
“Oh, okay, well, I'm gonna head out, I have some stuff I need to do before the shift starts,” Buck said as he was gathering himself. “You're not going to eat?” Eddie said with a worry in his eye.
“No, I’m not really hungry, but I'll see you later, I guess,” then he walked out the door.
┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
Eddie arrives at Hen and Karen's house and sits in the truck for a while, replaying the events from last night. All he wanted was to hold Buck and never let go. Eddie wishes he could do something for Buck, but he knows himself too well. No one knew that Eddie and Christopher had decided to come back to LA. Eddie wasn’t sure if he had a job waiting at the 118, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he and Chris came home. Home is LA, not El Paso. In El Paso, Eddie retreated into himself under his parents' constant doubt, and Christopher was unhappy, too.
Eddie takes his keys out of the ignition and gets out of the truck, and knocks on the Wilsons’ door.
“Eddie!” Karen says as she opens the door, her smile is so big it makes Eddie smile back at her.
He walks inside, “Karen it’s good to see you." he says giving her a hug.
“Hey Eddie” Hen says coming from the kitchen, “how’s Chris and Buck?”
Eddie looks around, “Chris is doing well as expected, wishing he was here though to hang out with Denny playing video games” Eddie chuckles, “Buck is doing okay? I guess? I am worried about him.” Hen and Karen look at each other with worry and understanding in their eyes.
“He did seem ready to go to the station this morning, but that could be just him putting on a front pretending everything’s okay,” Eddie says, walking towards the kitchen table. It’s something that Eddie didn’t like about Buck doing, but couldn’t really say anything about it because Eddie does the same thing. Putting on a front and pretending everything is okay, so nobody has to worry about him.
“Well, that sounds like Buck. I’ll keep an eye on him today. I doubt this shift will be too demanding since shift B is handling most of the work. Everyone’s meeting with HR to ensure they're ready to return to the field,” Hen says, settling at the coffee table with Eddie.
Karen comes over to the table with coffee for everyone, and Eddie gives her a warm smile. “What time are you leaving, Hen?” Eddie nods over to her.
“Since the shift doesn’t start for another hour, I’ll be here for a bit. Tell us, Eddie, when are you going back to El Paso?” Hen takes a sip of coffee, giving Eddie a curious look. Karen glances between them. “Yeah, Eddie, how long do we have you here?”
Eddie choked on his coffee, “Is this a ganging up session?” he said, chuckling, wiping his mouth.
“Well, I would assume you would have something to tell us, considering you’re over here at 8am, Edmundo,” Karen says, raising her eyebrows up and down, laughing. Hen starts to laugh at the concept of Karen calling Eddie Edmundo.
Eddie rolls his eyes, “Well, whatever gets said stays between us, obviously,” he says, shooting daggers towards Hen. Karen's eyes go wide, and Hen shoots up her hands, “Anything you say or do will be kept safe in this household,” she chuckles.
Eddie glances down at his coffee, his hands feeling a little clammy. Karen and Hen have always been a safe space for him, he looks up to their marriage, raising two kids, and best friends. That’s what Eddie yearns for and wants in life. Eddie knows it's possible; he just needs to be honest with himself. Eddie spent a lot of time in El Paso, really reflecting on his life and how he pictures his future. He has a wonderful, goofy, loving son that he cherishes so much and has Shannon to thank for that. He has Buck as his best friend, and 118 has his chosen family. He knew that he only wanted to keep a relationship with his parents, for Christopher's sake, if that’s what Chris wanted. He would do anything for his kid, and that meant moving back to LA. In his old house, that Buck currently lives in.
Eddie could not believe that when he was getting ready to pack up his life and fix his relationship with his son, Buck was going to be renting out his house and living in it. Although Eddie should have known Buck would have pulled a stunt like that. That’s the most Buck thing that he’s ever done. Throughout their eight years of friendship, Buck has always been a constant. Always there for him and Christopher and the rest of the 118. So, it shouldn’t have been a surprise to Eddie when Buck said he was “Freddie Fakeman.” it shouldn't have meant anything. But it did. It shook something loose in Eddie. Made him open his eyes to what had been in front of him this whole time.
Buck
Eddie glances back up to Hen and Karen, who have worry in their eyes. Eddie takes a deep breath. I got this, I can do this. It's just Hen and Karen. He knows for certain, they would never judge or question anything Eddie would tell them.
“I think I’m in love with Buck and I'm moving back to LA with Christopher,” Eddie says in a whisper voice.
Hen and Karen just started at Eddie, with both of their mouths wide open. looking at each other and then back at Eddie. The house was so quiet you could hear a pen drop. Of course, there is more that Eddie wants to tell them, but he felt like dropping these two bombs was a good start. Eddie looks back up to Karen and then, slightly uncomfortable, but more or less with the silence than telling them that he’s in love with Buck.
“oh my GOD, EDDIE!!” Karen and Hen said in unison, both still in shock, but with so much love in their voice. So many questions get thrown at Eddie at once. Karen is going first, then Hen.
“When are you and Christopher moving back?”
“Does Christopher know you’re moving back?”
“Does Buck know you’re moving back?”
“Do you have a job lined up?”
“Did you just say you’re in love with Buck?!”
Eddie’s and Hen’s eyes shot right over to Karen when she said the last question. So many questions were being asked, and for some reason, Eddie was thrown off guard by the last one.
“Oh my god, Karen, you can’t just ask Eddie that question like that,” Hen says, lightly smacking her arm. “Hen, please don’t act like you didn’t want to ask that question, we both know you and Chim have a bet riding on this thing,” Karen says back to her.
“A WHAT?” Eddie says in a high-pitched voice, looking back at Hen. “What does Karen mean you guys have a bet on this?!” Eddie's mind is SWIRLING. So many thoughts are running through his brain. in love with buck in love with buck in love with buck buckandeddie buckandeddie
Hen looks over to Eddie with a sheepish look, “Listen, Eddie, it’s just a silly little bet that chimney and I put together YEARS-“
“YEARS?!” Eddie exclaimed, what is going on he thinks to himself. Eddie cannot believe that Chim and Hen have had on bet on this for years; was it that obvious to everyone? Who else knows about this besides Karen? Eddie’s eyes go wide. Does Maddie know about this bet? Eddie scoffs to himself, of course Maddie would know about this bet. Everyone at the 118 knows Chimney cannot keep a secret to save his life.
Hen looks at Eddie with love in her eyes, and says naturally, “Yes, Eddie, years, don’t act so crazy like that’s the worst thing that Chim and I have done.”
Eddie gathers himself, clearly unprepared for the reactions he’s about to face.
“Christopher and I are moving back by the end of next week. Yes, Christopher knows, he’s the one who suggested it and wants to move back home. No, Buck doesn’t know yet. Kinda hard to bring it up when the guy is currently living in my house. No, I don’t have a job lined up. I was hoping to come back to the 118. And... in love with Buck?” Eddie repeats, like it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever said out loud.
Karen and Hen exchange a look, then turn their eyes back to Eddie. Karen gently places her hand on top of his. Eddie glances at her.
“Eddie,” she says softly, “it wouldn’t be the craziest thing.”
Eddie's jaw drops, and he just stares at Hen and Karen. It wouldn't be the craziest thing, just repeating in his head. Realistically, Eddie knows he shouldn’t be caught off guard, he was the one that made that confession out loud for the first time since Eddie came into that realization. What is insane to him is someone like Karen and Hen seem to be acting completely normal to the confession, and then finding out that there’s a bet going on between Hen and Chim. How long has this bet been going on? What's the premise around this bet? Does Buck know? Eddie's eyes go wide.
Hen can sense that Eddie is about to spiral and then realizes what she needs to do. “Eddie, first, I just want to say thank you for feeling comfortable enough to tell Karen and I. We are so proud of you, and we will always be in your corner. In regard to a job, there is an opening at the 118” she says gently.
“I’m sure you can get a job back with us in no time. Considering I've been offered the captain position of the 118, which means the medic position has opened, and if you ever need advice on how to come out to Christopher, if that’s something you want, we will always be an ear to lean on.” Hen smiles warmly at Eddie, and so does Karen. Karen looks over at Hen with loving eyes.
A weight feels like it’s been lifted off of Eddie's shoulders. He wasn't necessarily worried about telling them, but to know that he has their support and is happy for him does wonders. He does slightly chuckle at the fact that he forgot to mention that Christopher already knows this little tidbit of information.
“Hen, Karen. Thank you. You guys mean the world to Chris and I, and, I probably should have mentioned, Christopher already knows I'm gay. I told him a month ago. I just wasn’t ready to tell anybody else, and a captain's position?! Hen, that is amazing! I’m so proud of you.”
Karen and Hen smile at each other and then smile at Eddie. Everything feels like it’s going to be okay, and that it’s all truly worth it at the end.
┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
Buck arrives at the firehouse, and he feels absolutely horrible, hollow. This is the first time everyone in the 118 is at the station since Bobby's passing, and Buck honestly isn’t too sure how to process his grief. That without Bobby here, this is the new normal. How is he supposed to go to work and pretend like everything is fine and normal when it isn’t? He gathers himself up and pushes everything he’s feeling aside because he knows he has to be the bigger person and be there for everyone. It’s what Bobby would have wanted. It’s what he asked. Buck goes upstairs and heads to the kitchen. Chim & Ravi are on the couch watching TV and just catching up.
“Hey, Buckraroo,” chime said, glancing away from the TV.
“Hey, Chim, hey Ravi, whatcha y'all up to?” Buck says as he starts to make stuff for a smoothie. He knows he needs to consume something since he didn’t eat breakfast this morning.
“Just watching TV! Nothing much we can do until Captain Gerard says something else,” Ravi says, tossing an apple in the air. Buck nods off. Hen comes up the stairs,
“Hey, boys!” Hen says cheerfully, then glances over to Buck, “Oh, hey buckaroo, how’s my favorite Buckley?”
Buck rolls his eyes. “Hey, hen, I’m doing good! just ready to see what today brings”
“Oh well, it should be a pretty unexpected day, I was told we were going to have our final meeting with HR today to ensure we are ready to come back and figure out who’s going to be interim captain in the meantime,” Hen says, grabbing a seat next to Chim.
“What do you mean, interim captain, Hen? We all just assumed Geard was going to be the captain?” Ravi says, looking over towards her with confused eyes.
Hen looks around at all the guys, Ravi and Chim looking confused, and Buck equally confused. “Uh, well, yeah, he’s the interim for now, but” Hen says a little uncomfortably, "I was offered the position of captain, depending on a few things.”
“Oh my god, Hen, that’s amazing!” Chim said excitedly, he was so happy for his best friend.
“Oh, hell yeah, Captain Wilson sounds so good off the tongue,” Ravi said, giving Hen a high five.
Hen smiles at Chim and Ravi, happy that her team supports her.
She looks over at Buck, who has a questionable look on his face. “Buck?”
Buck snaps out of it and slaps a smile on his face. “Hen, that’s amazing. I’m so proud and happy for you, truly. You’re exactly what the 118 needs,” he says honestly. He walks over and gives her a hug. Buck means it truly. He’s so proud of her, doesn’t mean it hurts any less.
“Does that mean there’s a spot opening up here then?” Ravi says curiously. Buck sends dagger eyes towards Ravi. Buck can truly not handle any more change at the moment. He feels like he’s going insane.
Hen answers Ravi carefully, “Yes, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to fill it immediately. Someone from shift B will cover in the meantime. We all know we cannot handle so much change at once.”
Buck is grateful that she says this, but it will be a problem at a later time, and he can absolutely deal with that. Buck briefly thinks about Eddie possibly coming back and filling the open slot the 118 has, but he erases that fast from his brain because one, he doesn’t want to get his hopes up, and two, Eddie lives in El Paso, and three, Buck lives in Eddie’s house. Buck sighs and looks at the 118 just chatting along about Hens' promotion, not paying any heed to Buck. Buck finishes making his smoothie and is about to find himself asking Bobby how the smoothie tastes when it hits him like a ton of bricks that he can’t do that anymore. because Bobby isn’t here, and that’s why he's the new captain.
Buck feels his body starting to tense up. “I’m going to go on the roof if you guys need me, just need some fresh air,” he says as he’s leaving.
Chim, Hen & Ravi look at him with worry in their eyes. Buck wishes so badly they would stop looking at him like that.
Buck gets up to the roof and just walks over to the ledge and sighs. He grabs the ledge, his knuckles almost turning white. trying to calm himself down, trying to be strong, wishes that he could go back to a week ago, when he didn’t have to feel like this. He wishes that Bobby was here, in the kitchen and that the firehouse was filled with love. Buck’s throat tightens, he wishes Eddie were here; Eddie would know what to say and do. Eddie would be able to calm him down, tell him that everything is going to be okay and that we - the 118 - can get through this together.
Buck grabs his phone and opens it up to Eddie's number and dials it, and holds his breath.
“Hey Buck, is everything okay?” Eddie says with worry in his voice
“Hey, Eddie,” Buck says, his eyes tight shut, rubbing his temples, his voice wavering.
“Hi, Buck,” Eddie says warmly into the phone. Buck breathes out, a weight coming off his shoulders. There's something about Eddie and his voice that just centers Buck and brings him peace. eddie eddie eddie buck doesn’t say anything for a moment. “Buck?” Eddie asks gently.
“Hey, sorry, I can’t remember why I called.. I just” Buck whispers into the phone, his shoulders sagging.
“Hey, it’s okay, I'm glad you called. I was actually about to give you a call,” Buck's heart skips a beat. Why was Eddie going to call him? So many questions are going through his head.
“Yeah, what for?” Buck says, trying to sound like he’s put together and not actively feeling like the world is crumbling around him.
“You get off at four, right? Come home, we can order takeout, drink beer, and just watch some silly documentary, and just escape the world for a little bit,” Eddie says, with so much warmth and joy coming through the phone.
Buck’s heart stutters. “That actually sounds perfect, and sounds exactly what I need.”
Eddie smiles through the phone, “Perfect buck, I’ll see you when you get home,” and the phone hangs up
Home
But is it really home? Is it home when his best friend lives 800 miles away with his son? Is it home when he gets to the house every night and Christopher and Eddie aren’t there to fill it with warmth and memories?
Buck sighs at himself and looks out at the horizon. That house hasn’t felt like home in a few months. Bucks just staying there until Eddie and Chris hopefully come home, and eventually Buck will find another place to stay because that’s all he is, a placeholder, doing whatever he can for the people he loves so they never feel the loneliness he feels.
┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
It’s about 4:00 pm in the afternoon, and Eddie is feeling nervous that Buck will be home soon. Eddie has some takeout menu options laid on the kitchen table, knowing that Buck will obviously choose the taco joint from up the street, Buck’s favorite beer in the refrigerator and the tv remote right next to where Buck sits on the couch so he can choose the show to watch. Eddie goes into his bathroom and looks at himself. This will be the first time he will have seen Buck after the realization and confession he made this morning to Hen and Karen. There is so much that he wants to tell Buck. How Chris will be flying back to LA by the end of the week, and that he paid a moving company to ship all of their stuff back the day before Chris comes back. Eddie also knows that he needs to tell Buck this because it is technically Buck’s house, even if he's renting it from Eddie.
Eddie is actually unsure how he is even going to bring this up at all. Should he surprise Buck with Chris’s arrival? Will Buck start to question why Eddie said he hasn't made any plans to go back to El Paso? How will Buck take it when Eddie says he wants to come back home, but home isn't the same if Buck isn't sharing the same roof with him and Chris? Eddie feels himself starting to slowly panic. Clearly, he hasn't thought about this all the way through. He’s just assuming Buck is going to want to stay with him and Chris because obviously he doesn't have another place to stay. Then Maddie crosses his mind, oh god, what if Buck is going to say he's going to stay with Maddie until he finds a new place to stay. Don’t even get him starting on the fact he hasn’t even glossed over the revelation that he’s in love with Buck.
Eddie hears the front door open, gathers himself and tells himself there is absolutely nothing to freak out about, it's just Buck. Eddie leaves his bathroom and wanders himself into the kitchen.
Buck places his keys down in the basket and takes off his shoes and looks up at Eddie. “Hey, I'm going to go jump in the shower really quick, and I’m starving. Can you order the tacos from the one place I like, please?” he says, in a somewhat cheerful voice, or at least what he can muster up.
“Yeah, yeah of course. I’ll place the order” Eddie says, eyeing Buck carefully. His shoulders are tense, his jaw seems sharp and his eyes are a shade of a coral blue. Buck just nods towards Eddie, and walks off.
Buck gathers himself in the bathroom and looks at his reflection in the mirror. He’s done a pretty good job today, he thinks pretending everything is okay. But he knows he can only pretend for so long when he’s around Eddie. Eddie will see right through him.
He steps into the shower and just stands there, letting the steaming hot water run down his body, relaxing his muscles. For a moment, everything feels alright. He’s spending the night with his best friend, what more could he really ask for? Still, he knows at some point during the evening, they’ll have to talk about the elephant in the room: Eddie’s next plans. And that thought breaks Buck’s heart a little more.
He steps out of the shower and pulls on a pair of sweatpants and his 118 hoodie. His hair is a mess, water dripping from his curls, but he can’t find a reason to care right now. He walks out into the hallway and hears Eddie on the phone. He pauses, listening.
Eddie stands in the kitchen, frustrated, running a hand through his hair. “Mom, I told you, this is not up for discussion. Chris is flying back to LA which is his home, this Friday. There’s nothing more to talk about. I don’t understand how many more ways I can explain it to you. That’s none of your business. No, I’m not coming back-”
Buck’s whole world comes to a halt. Eddie doesn’t know he can hear this conversation, and Buck isn’t sure he’s meant to. What do you mean Chris is coming back? Eddie isn’t going back to El Paso. Oh god, does that mean Buck has to find a new place to live?
Buck’s chest tightens, his breathing quickens. Emotions crash over him all at once—happiness, fear, excitement. He’s happy and excited that Chris is coming home, that he’ll finally get to see him again. But he’s scared too, because what does this mean? Why is he feeling like this? Isn’t this what he wanted? Eddie and Chris coming home, back where they belong? So why does it feel like his world is shifting again? And where does that leave him? He doesn’t have the time or the energy to find a new place to live.
“Get yourself together, Buckley,” he whispers to himself.
When he looks up, Eddie’s eyes are already on him, and the sight sends shivers down his spine.
Buck loves it when Eddie looks at him like that. Eddie makes him feel seen, heard, loved. Everything Buck has ever wanted to feel from his best friend. Not that he’s hopelessly pining after his straight best friend. No, it’s totally normal to feel this way. Right?
Eddie sets his phone down on the counter, not sure how much of that Buck just heard.
“Chris is coming back?” Buck asks softly, looking at Eddie like he’s hung all the moon and stars just for him.
Eddie smiles gently. “So, I’m guessing you heard all of that conversation,” he chuckles.
“Kinda hard not to when you’re yelling into the phone at Helena,” Buck says, laughing as he walks toward the kitchen. “So don’t dodge the question, what’s going on?”
Eddie turns and grabs two beers from the fridge, handing one to Buck. He takes a swig from his own, the cool amber liquid sliding down his throat. “Well, I mean, you heard. Chris is coming back home—in a few days, actually,” Eddie says carefully, watching Buck’s reaction.
Buck’s eyes light up, his smile spreading until it takes Eddie’s breath away. “Yeah? And… and what about you?” Buck asks hesitantly.
Eddie’s face scrunches up like the answer is obvious. “Well, duh. Me too, Buck. Chris and I are both coming home.”
Home
Buck doesn’t know what to feel. Everything is hitting him at once, something that might be heartbreak or might be something else entirely. His heart is thudding too loud in his chest to tell the difference. Chris and Eddie are coming home
But what does that mean for him?
Buck forces a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes and mutters, half under his breath, “Guess I should start looking for places to stay then.” The words feel like gravel in his mouth. He fumbles for his beer, needing something to distract himself from the ache crawling up his spine, and takes a long, desperate swig.
Eddie’s gaze snaps to him sharp, steady, and intense. Buck feels it like a current running through him, rooting him to the floor, his hands clammy, unsure how this conversation is go.
Then Eddie swallows hard and says quietly, almost nervously, “Or, you know… you could not.”
The words hang between them. The tension in the room is palpable. Eddie’s voice is unsure, like he’s standing at the edge of something he isn’t ready to name. And Buck isn’t sure he’s ready to hear what’s about to come out of his best friend’s mouth.
“What?” Buck’s voice cracks, soft and disbelieving. His hand tightens around the beer bottle.
Eddie looks away for a moment, and when he speaks again, his voice is softer, more careful. “I’m just saying… you don’t have to go. This place, it’s your home too, Buck. And Chris would be thrilled to have you, you have to know that.”
Buck stares at him, eyes wide. His brain tries to catch up with his heart, but it’s not working. Nothing is working. He shakes his head, words spilling out before he can stop them.
“But not forever, right? Just until you guys get settled? I don’t want to get in the way. I don’t want to impose on you and Chris. You need space.” Clearly, that’s what Eddie means because Buck can’t think of any other way he could mean it.
Buck knows Eddie doesn’t joke about things like this.
But Eddie just rolls his eyes with a groan, and Buck suddenly feels so small, so damn unsure of everything. “No, Buck. That’s not—ugh. I’m messing this up.” Eddie runs a hand through his hair, visibly flustered. “This isn’t coming out right.”
Buck swallows hard, feeling something in his chest start to splinter. “Eddie, what are you trying to say?”
Eddie freezes. His mouth opens, but no words come out at first. His throat works around the weight of the truth he’s held in for too long.
Buck’s heart races, his breath catching.
Eddie just stares at Buck, the feeling suddenly too overwhelming. Carefully, so carefully, he takes a deep breath, looking at his best friend with so much love. “Buck… I… I don’t want you to have to look for a new place because”
Buck tries to stay calm, but he can’t believe the words coming out of his best friend’s mouth.
Eddie continues, “Buck, I’m in love with you,” he whispers, so softly that Buck thinks he’s imagined the whole conversation. Surely, Eddie did not just whisper those five words that Buck has been wanting to hear since the lightning strike. Eddie Diaz? In love with him, Evan Buckley?
Buck stares at Eddie, his mouth wide open, not believing a single thing that just came out of his best friend’s mouth. “Can you repeat that? What did you just say?”
Eddie’s throat tightens, his hands clenched so hard his knuckles turn white, his nails digging into his palms. For a second, it looks like he might back down. That all of this is a mistake. A sudden realization hits him that Buck might not actually feel the same way about him.
But then he looks into Buck’s eyes, and he sees it - a mixture of hope and fear. Suddenly, Eddie realizes he can’t back down now. If there’s even the slightest chance that Buck feels the same way, this is his moment to find out.
“I said,” Eddie begins, sounding more confident than before, “that I’m in love with you. And I know the timing is terrible, and this isn’t how I planned to tell you.”
Buck just stares at him, his mouth agape, still not believing what just came out of his best friend’s mouth. He looks into Eddie’s eyes and sees it—a mixture of love, hope, fear, excitement. Buck walks toward Eddie, and Eddie just stands there, watching his every move.
“You’re…” Buck says slowly, “in love with me?” His voice trembles with hope.
Eddie nods, afraid to take his eyes off Buck.
Buck stands incredibly close to him now, having to look up at him. He can feel Eddie’s body heat radiating between them, sending shivers through his body. Eddie’s gaze roams over Buck’s face—his birthmark a soft shade of red, the kind that looks like a sunset on a cool summer night. Eddie looks back up into Buck’s eyes and nods again, ever so slightly.
The air between them is thick with tension. The house is unbelievably quiet. Buck looks down at Eddie, and suddenly everything in the world makes sense again. The weight on his shoulder's lifts. Eddie Diaz is in love with him. Evan Buckley. If someone had told him this would ever happen, he would have laughed and called them crazy. It wouldn’t have mattered if the words ever left Eddie’s lips, there’s no one else in the world Buck would rather spend his life with, platonically or romantically.
Eddie looks up at Buck and brings a hand to his face, his thumb gently rubbing against Buck’s birthmark. Buck sighs contentedly. Eddie feels a million things all at once, and he knows what he has to do next. He slowly leans in, his face inching closer to Buck’s.
Buck looks at him with those big ocean-blue eyes, filled with love and adoration. Eddie gently kisses him—and suddenly, everything in the world makes sense. Fireworks go off in his head. Buck instantly kisses Eddie back, full of passion and love.
┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
The next morning, Buck wakes up with his best friend's arm wrapped around him. He looks over and just stares at Eddie.
Eddie blinks awake slowly, eyes focusing on Buck and the moment they do, a soft, sleepy smile spreads across his face. “Hey,” he murmurs, voice rough with sleep. His thumb draws a lazy line against Buck’s side. “You okay?”
Buck exhales shakily. “Yeah. I just… wanted to make sure I didn’t dream any of that.”
Eddie’s smile deepens. “You didn’t.” His hand comes up, fingers brushing along Buck’s jaw like he needs the contact. “I meant every word I said last night.”
Buck feels his heart swell, the sting of emotion rising behind his eyes, but it’s warm, steady, sure. “Me too.”
Eddie leans in, pressing a slow kiss to Buck’s forehead. “Good,” he murmurs, lips brushing his skin. “Because I want you here. With me. Not just until you find something else. Not just while things settle down.” He looks at Buck like he’s the only thing in the room. “I want you here because this feels right.”
Buck’s breath catches. He nods, moving until their foreheads rest together, noses brushing softly. “Then I’m staying,” he says, voice steady. “I’m all in, Eddie.”
Eddie exhales like a weight he’s carried for years finally lifts. He cups Buck’s face and kisses him slow, certain, reverent. Buck kisses him back, sinking into the warmth of it, the surety, the home in Eddie’s arms.
When they finally part, Eddie’s smile is brighter, steadier. “We should probably… celebrate. Or make breakfast. Something normal.”
Buck grins. “Breakfast sounds good.”
They slip out of bed together, fingers tangling naturally, easily, like they’ve been doing it for years. Morning sun spills across the room, warm and golden, wrapping around them just like Eddie’s arm had been moments ago.
Buck squeezes Eddie’s hand. Eddie squeezes back.
It’s simple. It’s quiet. It’s perfect.
And for the first time in a long time, Buck feels it settle in his bones
He’s home.