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It must say something about them, Makoto muses, that he isn’t surprised to wake up in the middle of the night only to find Aigis sitting on the floor by his bed.
“Aigis… how long have you been here?”
“A little over twenty minutes and ten seconds,” she states bluntly. He can’t help but notice that for someone who has just been busted, she looks quite at ease, if slightly apologetic. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?”
“No, I… woke up by myself, I guess,” Makoto stifles a yawn, lazily rubbing at his eyes. “How long have you been doing this?”
She does fidget at that, he realizes with slight curiosity. Were it anyone else, Makoto is sure they would be changing the subject or he would be outright lied to. But not Aigis, and least of all to him. He gets the feeling Aigis wouldn’t be able to keep anything from him even if she wanted to. He is secretly glad for that, though it makes him feel a little guilty that it’s at her expense.
“Ever since I was brought to these dorms,” she quietly admits, much to his bewilderment.
“Huh? Why?”
“I like to make sure you are safe,” Aigis’ gaze wavers and she takes to soothing the wrinkles on the carpet. “And you look so peaceful when you’re asleep. I… enjoy watching you.”
“Oh.”
Makoto doesn’t know what he is supposed to say to something like that. What he does know is that Aigis’ uncharacteristic bashfulness makes it hard to look at her; makes something warm and not entirely uncomfortable curl and uncurl in his stomach. Fondness and something else he is only too aware of, even if he likes to pretend otherwise.
He is thankful when Aigis breaks the silence, giving him something else to think about. “It wasn’t until I came back from the laboratory that it occurred to me that this may be… inappropriate. But I couldn’t bring myself to stop,” she confesses before looking at him. “I’d understand if you’re angry.”
“I’m not,” he reassures her, and maybe he does it a little too quickly, because Aigis looks unconvinced. He lets his lips quirk upward, amused. “There are no rifles involved this time, after all.”
He is rewarded with her laughter, merry and harmonious. It washes over him like spring breeze, making his skin prickle. “Yes, I do recall you were quite adamant about that particular aspect of my Waking Assistance.” Her smile softens and she takes a hand to her ribbon. “You aren’t angry… that is a relief.”
Makoto allows himself to revel in her ever-growing humanity for just a moment longer before acknowledging what he knows to be his responsibility. Despite himself, his smile starts to wan. “Aigis, I’m glad you care so much, but…”
Her voice is warm and understanding, barely betraying any regret. “But you will still ask me to stop, correct?”
He closes his mouth, lips pressing together.
He should. Yukari will be less than thrilled to realize Aigis has been sneaking in all this time, if her reaction last year is anything to go by. Junpei won’t let him live it down, either; he has mellowed out after what happened with Chidori, but he wouldn’t miss a chance to tease him. And Mitsuru—Mitsuru will probably use his apparent compliance as excuse to get Aigis to wake him up with those rifles again, and that’s something he can definitely live without.
Still, he finds that he feels no urge to.
So, he prods himself up on one elbow, cocks his head to the side and asks, “Aren’t you uncomfortable sitting there?”
“Not at all.” Aigis shakes her head. If she finds the change of subject odd, she chooses to say nothing of it. “My joints can become worn from overuse, but given that I lack blood vessels, it is not possible for my limbs to fall asleep or feel sore like a human’s would.”
“I see. Still, if you’re going to come, you may as well take a seat.” That’s what Pharos used to do, anyway, is what he thinks but doesn’t say.
Aigis looks nearly offended by the suggestion. “I couldn’t! I may wake you, Makoto-san.”
Her reaction amuses him and he makes no effort to hide it. “I’m sure you’ve noticed it by now, but I’m not exactly what you’d call a light sleeper, Aigis.” She tries to object, but he continues before she can, brows furrowing. “On second thought, aren’t you losing sleep by coming here?”
“Not quite.”
Ah, so she is losing sleep, huh. His frown deepens. She seems to realize his train of thought, because she hurries to reassure him. “It is true that I now require sleep, but four hours of rest are more than enough and I’ve scheduled my visits accordingly. I assure you, anything else is but a luxury.”
“Is that so…”
“Yes!”
Her tone leaves no room for arguing. Still, when he lays himself back down, he is eyeing her warily. She gives no signs of moving nor of leaving, and Makoto suddenly finds himself at a loss as to what to do.
It isn’t that her presence makes him uncomfortable; at the contrary, hardly ever does he feel as peaceful and safe as he does whenever he is with Aigis. But he doubts he will be able to fall asleep knowing she is just... there. Watching him. Blood vessels or not, it’s unnerving.
For more reasons than one.
He tells her as much, heaving in a sigh. “Aigis… you just sitting there while I sleep won’t do...” He is inching closer towards the wall before he is even aware of what he is about to say. “Come here, I can make you some room.”
“Th—that won’t be necessary, Makoto-san!”
“Ah, but it’s the only way I’m going to let you stay,” he tells her, slightly surprised at himself but hiding it well. “So, what will you do, Aigis?”
He watches her face carefully, trying to make out the changes in her expression through the shadows of the room. He can’t, not really; but he can still hear the way her jaw sets in the firmness of her voice.
“If that is the case… then you leave me without a choice.”
Aigis raises slowly, so very slowly; Makoto observes her in silence, knowing there won’t be anything but a good night coming. Something in his stomach sinks. The ripples it creates feel like disappointment and he curls his fingers around the covers, trying to pretend he can’t taste it on his tongue.
But it seems Aigis has a knack for taking him aback; no matter how used he gets to her, she always finds a way to overturn his expectations—to say and do the things he himself didn’t know he wanted and needed. So when she sits rather than leaves, looking at him over her shoulder instead of bidding him good night, Makoto finds that he is too stunned to think much of anything anymore.
“I accept your conditions,” she announces with a bright, if slightly coy, beam.
Her happiness unwinds him, soothes him until he is letting out a quiet chuckle.
“Wise choice,” he teases.
He starts to pull back the covers but Aigis stops him with one movement from her hand.
“It’s best if we don’t share the covers, Makoto-san. It may lower your temperature.”
“…Right.”
He lets the sheets drop, feeling silly for overlooking such an obvious fact. Aigis carefully lies herself atop of them, hesitating for a few moments before shifting ever so slightly, probably trying to make herself comfortable without disturbing him. It occurs to him then that she probably isn’t used to sleeping in beds; he wonders how she handled it during the school trip to Kyoto. Did she use the futon, did she sleep upright or did she ditch sleep altogether?
He would have asked, if only Aigis hadn't turned to face him. All of a sudden, Makoto thinks sharing his bed with her may not have been such a good idea, after all—because the world has suddenly narrowed down to her big, blue eyes unbelievably close to his, and it makes him feel so awake that it’s nearly painful.
“Are you comfortable, Makoto-san?”
“Yeah...” His voice sounds raspy. He has to swallow before trying again. “You?”
“I am. I am… happy. To be this close to you,” she whispers, and his heart swells. “Though at the same time, it is a little… peculiar.”
“What is?”
She takes a hand to her chest, voice thoughtful. “My heart feels so warm, I feel like it’s going to short-circuit at any moment now. I have… noticed that it’s been happening often whenever I am with you, but it has never been this bad,” Aigis says slowly, averting her eyes. “I’m sorry, this must sound weird to you.”
“I can relate,” he mutters before he can stop himself.
“Eh?”
“...Never mind.”
For a moment, Makoto thinks Aigis is going to insist—that she’s going to point out his quickened heartbeat and ask what’s causing it. But she stays silent, simply watching him with curious eyes, and he has to hold back a sigh of relief at her sudden self-restraint.
It’s a little troublesome at times like these, but he figures that’s one of the things that makes Aigis so precious to him. In the months they have spent together, he has come to cherish the way she makes him feel just as much as he has come to cherish her. Yet…
He can’t help frowning lightly, an unwanted shadow drifting in his conscious. “Aigis… can I ask you something?”
“Anything”, she answers in earnest.
Makoto hesitates and chastises himself for it. In a little over two weeks, he will lead his friends to fight against the end of the world as they know it. This is no time to be afraid to know the answer to a simple question.
Except it isn’t that simple; not to him at least, and he is coming to realize that with more and more clarity with every passing day. The knowledge festers inside him, revealing itself in the sourness of the doubts that drift in and out whenever Aigis reminds him of how much he means to her.
He doesn’t like that; doesn’t like the way uncertainty seems to have become a permanent visitor whenever Aigis is around. He needs to put a stop to it, for better or for worse.
“When you said that I was the most precious thing to you…” Makoto tries to measure his words, but finds no easy way to say it. He steels himself and looks her in the eye, body taut with tension. “Was it only because I had Death sealed inside me?”
“No!”
Aigis sits up so fast and so suddenly that he is startled despite himself.
“I… I admit that at first, I wondered if it may be so, as well,” she admits after a few moments of silence, frowning down at the space between their hands. “But after Ryoji-san acquired a human form, I still... longed to be near you. I still do. I want to protect you, Makoto-san. I want to fight by your side. But I…” Aigis trails off, struggles to find the words and Makoto finds himself holding his breath.
“I also wish to live by your side. I wish to always be able to closely feel your existence.” Her voice is no louder than a whisper, and yet he hears her words in every recess of his mind, loud and clear and fulfilling. “Everyone is very special to me. But you… you are what I hold dearest to me in the entire world.”
The way she is looking at him now makes something in his chest catch.
“I’m… happy you feel that way, Aigis,” is all he manages to say, but she doesn’t seem to mind.
“Really?”
His eyes soften, voice fond and warm with longing. “Yeah.”
The smile that takes over her features is like candlelight; it lights up the room, warming him down to his toes. “I am happy you are happy.”
Silence settles over them, comfortable and grounding—until Aigis slowly lies herself down, faces him once more and whispers, “May I…?”
Makoto doesn’t trust himself to do anything but nod.
She reaches forward and he sucks in a ragged breath, tracing her features with his gaze as she carefully, lovingly brushes the bangs away from his face and exposes both of his eyes. Her touch is cool and soothing and her smile is so radiant and tender that Makoto feels a deep-boned tranquility wrap over him despite the strong drumming of his heart.
“Hey, Aigis…?”
She lets her hand rest against his pillow, fingertips only lightly brushing the bones under his eyes. “Yes, Makoto-san?”
This time, he doesn't even try to hold back his smile.
“…It goes both ways.”
Everyone is precious to me. But you, Aigis… you are…
Makoto is not sure if Aigis understands, but his eyes are closing and he is grateful when she lets him be.
“Good night, Makoto-san,” she says softly, smiling.
He sleeps better than he has in weeks.