Work Text:
Maybe this was…childish.
But he’d convinced himself that, no, this was just a natural part of any relationship. After all, he’d seen it in the dramas and the movies, heard it in all the songs, read it in all of the books, so it had to be normal. Sure, all forms of media had shown it to be a wrong move that the main character almost always had to apologize for, but, he was going to ignore that. What mattered was that this was natural.
Not that he would know, because, he’d never dated anyone before. Atsushi, on the other hand, had probably dated everyone before and could probably date anyone if he wanted to. So, being nervous and maybe, just maybe a little jealous wasn’t so wild after all.
He could go into an in depth analysis of his own insecurities as the source of his doubt in Atsushi, but introspection and self-reflection were always low on the list of things that Todomatsu wanted to do. Instead he’d settle for being bitter. Being bitter, he knew for a fact, was easy.
“Atsushi-kun, you don’t pay enough attention to me.” Todomatsu murmured into the phone.
Atsushi sighed. “Todomatsu, I’ve taken the time to accept a call from you during my workday. Something I could very well be reprimanded for-”
“Reprimanded?” Todomatsu rolled over onto his stomach with a scoff. “Who’s going to reprimand the boss?”
“I’m not the boss.”
“Yet.”
“Yet.” Atsushi grinned, then continued typing away. “And I won’t become the boss if I keep doing things like taking every call you make while I’m working.”
Todomatsu sighed. “Sounds like an excuse to me… someone else got your attention up there?”
Atsushi paused, shocked. “Hm? What would even make you ask that? Of course not.”
“Of course not.” Todomatsu repeated in a mocking tone.
“Todomatsu, I’m serious.” Atsushi leaned into the phone. “If I’m doing something to make you-”
“I’ve gotta go Atsushi, talk to you later.”
Todomatsu ended the call. Atsushi stared blankly.
Todomatsu stared at his phone. That was… probably childish. Atsushi hadn’t given him a reason to say something like that, and if he knew anything about the other man, it was that Atsushi would dwell on that until Todomatsu gave him some type of closure. Which, he wouldn’t do. It was better to keep Atsushi thinking about him anyway, wasn’t it?
- - -
The desired effect was way less intense than Todomatsu had hoped. Which wasn’t to say that nothing had happened, because Atsushi did seem to decidedly stick much closer to him whenever he was around. He was somewhat more physical, seemingly more fond of PDA - lots of hand holding and cheek smooches - and Todomatsu was spending more time than ever at his apartment.
But that wasn’t what Todomatsu wanted. Todomatsu wanted… well he wasn’t sure what. But this wasn’t it.
They were laying around on Atsushi’s couch, watching some drama that Atsushi thought was hilarious and Todomatsu thought accurately reflected where their relationship stood. After a while, Atsushi readjusted, then muttered something about going to the bathroom and walked off.
Todomatsu leaned back against the arm of the couch, now somewhat bored without Atsushi’s annoying and constant commentary. He glanced over to where his boyfriend had sat a few moments ago, and his eyes glinted at what he saw.
Atsushi had left his phone.
This was the next step. He knew how this would play out. You grab the phone to confirm your suspicions. Because you already had a feeling, you memorized his passcode a long time ago. Zoom through his recent calls, his recent texts, his social media, his contacts. Find the incriminating evidence. Face him. He asks why you trust him so little that you’d go through his phone. You ignore the question because you asked first, and you want answers.
Todomatsu could make that happen, easy. The first step was unlocking the phone.
He picked up Atsushi’s cell and hit the power button. He swiped at the screen. Atsushi didn’t have a passcode or anything - Todomatsu knew this already. He acted like this wasn’t the epitome of guiltlessness and opened Atsushi’s recent calls.
They were all…from him. All of them but one from his mom a couple nights ago. That was maybe a little bit embarrassing. He chose to ignore that in favour of the task at hand. There had to be some dirt in here. Next he moved to text messages and, again, the most recent ones were all from him. Others were from parents, a few friends that Todomatsu knew of, and others from people who had “(Work)” in front of their names, implying that Atsushi couldn’t even be bothered to remember who they were. It was… incredibly underwhelming.
Atsushi plopped back down on the couch. “Hm? What? Playing Tiny Farm again? Don’t get mad, I tried to tame a Heroic Sheep without -”
“What?!” Todomatsu quickly ditched the text messages to open the app. “Seriously, Atsushi?! How many love points did you use? You can’t just -”
“So you weren’t playing Tiny Farm?” Atsushi asked, raising a brow.
Todomatsu was busy. “I was going through your text messages - Atsushi! It’s so hard to get love points…”
“My texts? Why?” Atsushi cocked his head to the side and tossed his arm over the arm of the couch.
“To see who you’re texting! Why else?”
He looks confused, but doesn’t question it any further. “‘Kay.”
This annoyed Todomatsu. “Because you’re suspicious! You’ve been acting suspicious!”
This is a lie.
“Ah, really? Sorry.” Atsushi nodded but his attention was back on the TV. “But you didn’t find anything bad, did you?”
He’s too calm. “A-and what if I said I did?”
“Then, I’d be really confused and more than happy to explain whatever controversial message you think you’ve uncovered.” He turned to look at Todomatsu, expectant. “So? Got anything to show me?”
Todomatsu pouted at him, outdone, and out of idle prattle.
Atsushi smirked. “Nothing? Ah, boo, that would’ve been fun.”
“Shut up.” Todomatsu mustered, then kicked Atsushi’s arm. “And leave my Tiny Farm alone!”
Yes, more clearly now, this seemed childish.
- - -
As they walked through the city, fingers interlaced, hands swinging back and forth between them in the most sickening manner, they were very clearly a couple. Atsushi kept pointing to buildings and rambling off random facts about the businesses within or their architecture; Todomatsu kept pointing to alleyways and rambling off the random troubles that he and his brothers and high school friends had gotten into there. They were cute, Todomatsu knew, and a lot of people were watching them as they strolled.
A while back, Atsushi had grabbed a handkerchief that some girl dropped and rushed it back to her. He’d also smiled kindly at the boy selling newspapers while Todomatsu grabbed one for the coupons. And now, now, Atsushi had glanced over at a couple of girls that he’d nearly run into as he prattled on excitedly about the metal workings of an antique shop.
Todomatsu snatched his hand away with a huff and pushed forward.
Atsushi stared at his now very lonely hand before dashing after him.
Dropping a hand on Todomatsu’s shoulder, he stopped him. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?”
Todomatsu was pouting again, staring at the ground.
“I can’t read your thoughts, Totty.”
Todomatsu grimaced. “Don’t do stuff like that.”
“…Like what?”
He looked up to meet Atsushi’s eyes. “Don’t throw your attention on other people, then call me Totty like we’re close!”
“We’re dating, I’d like to think we’re close.”
Todomatsu huffed. “You know what I mean!”
Atsushi frowned. “Quite frankly, I don’t. I mean, I don’t remember throwing my attention onto anyone.”
“The handkerchief thing with that pretty lady!” Todomatsu rolled his eyes. “And you smiled so cutely for the hot newspaper guy when you thought I wasn’t looking. And now, just now, you glanced at those cute girls… I don’t like it.”
This was weird, Atsushi decided, but he entertained it anyway. “Um, I’m sorry I guess, but I’m not going to stop being polite or nice, if that’s what you want.”
Todomatsu fumed. “You’re the worst! Go shack up with the newspaper boy, then!”
“You’re jealous?” Atsushi asked.
“Obviously!” Todomatsu seethed.
“Ah.” Atsushi nodded, still only half-understanding anything that had been happening for the last couple of weeks, honestly. “Me too. I’m jealous too.”
“…What?” Todomatsu shook his head slowly.
Atsushi shrugged, then tightened his grip on Todomatsu’s shoulder and pulled him closer. “You keep telling me to stop paying attention to cute people. “Cute” this, “cute” that - you’re the only one calling other people cute!”
“…What?!” Todomatsu yelled.
“I haven’t thought a single one of them was cute or even worth glancing at. But you think all of them are. You think they’re cute enough to be a threat.” Now, Atsushi was frowning. “I know that I’m not very cute, but at least don’t point out that everyone else is.”
“That’s stupid!”
“And besides, I’m jealous of a lot of people when it comes to you. Seemingly, only when it comes to you. Like, Sacchi and Aida - you barely even want me to visit you at work, but they get to see you in uniform all the time.”
“Atsushi…”
“And even though we’re dating, we still go to mixers - which is fine - but you go and flirt with everyone there!”
“Ah… Sorry. But, Atsushi,”
Atsushi wouldn’t stop. “And your - fuck, your brothers? I mean, they’ve gotten to spend so much time with you already, and they know everything there is to know about you, and they’ve probably seen you naked already, and you act cute for them all the time because you know you’ll have to actually work to get things from them, unlike me who will just… do whatever you ask if you so much as look at me! And, you dress up in skirts and dresses willingly around them - I know because Osomatsu sends them to me for a price - which, reminds me, you do it for free at home -”
Todomatsu stared as his boyfriend kept talking. He didn’t know that Atsushi had been jealous of anyone, much less everyone. The list seemed never-ending, and somehow, this was comforting. It made Todomatsu feel less weird for wanting more. It made him feel like he was…
“Wanted.” Todomatsu muttered.
Atsushi finally quit babbling, and focused his attention back on Todomatsu. “Huh? What was that? You want something?”
Todomatsu’s face flushed, and he averted his eyes. “Wanted, uh, what I wanted. That… that stuff… Is what I wanted to hear.”
Sometimes it is easier to be honest.
“Oh.” Atsushi paused, then grabbed Totty’s hand, interlocking their fingers again and forcing Todomatsu to look at him with his other hand. “I want you.”
And Todomatsu was still blushing. He nodded. “And I want you.”
They went back to walking, and Atsushi went back to jabbering about cast-iron buildings.
“Ah,” Todomatsu thought. “It was definitely childish.”