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“Gene? You in there, bro?”
The room was dark, save for the small sliver of daylight that stretched across the floor. He must not have pulled the curtain all the way over like he thought he did.
“I wanted to see if you’d like to go to the movies? Super Ultra Crusher 3 is out right now!”
Bedsheets and clothing scattered across the floor. The room was devoid of any sound; he could hear his younger brother’s feet shuffling outside of his door.
“...Bro?”
His voice didn’t want to leave him right now.
“...Guess he’s not back yet… Maybe I can catch him while I’m out!”
Dante ran away from the door, leaving him to his thoughts again.
His brother was always so eager to spend time with him and he looks up to him like he’s the best example of a person there could be. What he didn’t know…
Gene lowered his head to rest on his knees again, bringing his hands up to bury his fingers into his hair. A forlorn sense of shame permeated his body and wrapped around his heart as his past actions continued to haunt him as they seemed to do nowadays.
It’s been a year since Gene graduated from Phoenix Drop High and he was at a low, beginning with being fired from Hot Topic after Zenix decided to rob the store. On camera, he had bragged, “Security is way easier to get past than what Gene said! He’s gonna get a load of this! Maybe it’d even be a good birthday present?!” His fingers tightened in his hair as frustration seeped through his veins.
He hasn’t been able to secure a job since then. He’s submitted various applications, but the background checks would halt any progress before it began. Feeling unmotivated and discouraged, he often found himself sitting in his room with the lights off, pondering his life. Sasha and Zenix have tried to skip school to spend time with him, but for some reason, he didn’t feel inclined to meet them. Besides, they just reminded him of his high school days which he now regards as pathetic. Just thinking of Aphmau makes his chest tighten with an odd mixture of regret and longing. Ein stopped talking to Gene after Hot Topic fired him, no longer bringing him pictures of her in exchange for hair dye.
How did his life turn out like this? The start of freshman year Gene was vastly different than post-grad Gene - younger him would be embarrassed by how he turned out: pining after a girl he blackmailed and had no chance with as he pouted in his room about how his life was going. He refused to cry. He got himself into this mess and ruined his reputation, feeling as though he had nothing to show for himself other than the long list of people he has hurt.
Gene’s throat felt tight as he stood up, hitting more furniture in his room and throwing his decorations around. He had to take this anger out on someone, but that thought made him feel worse, like a ‘bad guy’.
Aphmau’s hurt, Dante’s obliviousness, Aaron’s rage, the corruption of Ein, the dejected responses from Sasha and Zenix who felt pushed away, and the disappointment of the school’s staff and his mom who were starting to see glimpses of who he really was - it all flashed in front of his eyes like the numerous times he’s seen the police’s red and blue lights. Was he only good for hurting others?
“Meow~”
Gene stopped on the sidewalk when he heard a cat’s meow, but didn’t see it. “Huh?” He looked around a bit more before he decided to keep walking to nowhere in particular. At least getting out of the house helped clear his thoughts some.
“Meow~”
He heard the cat again, though there was a certain sadness to it. He frowned and looked around again until he saw it: there, in a sewer grate, were two desperate, yellow eyes looking up at him. “What?? How did a cat end up in there?!” Immediately, he knelt down and tried to maneuver the black and white cat through the metal bars to no avail. “How-?!”
“Meow!”
“Alright, alright!” Gene grabbed the bars and tried pulling on them, hoping to loosen them somehow.
After a few minutes of trying, the all-too familiar sound of a police siren chirped. The car stopped next to him and the cop inside rolled down the window. “Ugh, of course it’s you, Gene! What’re ya’ doin’ now?!”
Gene stood with his hands raised. “Joe, I know I’m usually up to no good, but this time, I’m actually trying to help. This cat got stuck in the grate and I’m trying to rescue it!”
Officer Joe narrowed his eyes at his usual suspect before looking at the grate. “Well, I’ll be… Hold on.” He got out of his car and loosened the grate with Gene’s help, freeing the cat. “Ain’t she a pretty thing? I’ll take her to the shelter for ya.”
Gene huffed distractedly, watching Officer Joe put the cat in the backseat and walk around to the driver’s side. Gene wasn’t sure why, but he couldn’t help but frown. It clicked once the cat turned to look at him through the window, giving him a stare that drew him in with its vulnerability. “Wait!”
Officer Joe lifted his head with one leg in the car. “What?”
“Can I…take her?”
He narrowed his eyes scrutinizingly at the young adult he usually escorts to the station. “Can ‘you’? Why? She’s not part of some scheme or your next graffiti project, is she?”
Gene scoffed and put a hand on his hip. “Joe, how would I even do that with a cat? I just…feel responsible for her or something. I did find her after all.”
He was still wary, but something on Gene’s face was different than usual. Almost like he was being truthful. Officer Joe still had his reservations, but he figured he’d give him this chance. “...Alright. You can take her, but if it turns out you’re just tryin’ to pull a fast one on me-!”
“I won’t, I won’t,” Gene raised his hands placatingly as he strolled over to the car door and picked up the cat in his arms. She purred against his chest and he felt himself melt a bit as he pet her head. “Thanks, Joe.”
His eyes widened at Gene thanking him. “Oh! Er, you’re…welcome, Gene.” Gene started walking down the sidewalk and Officer Joe got into his car, bewildered by the interaction.
Gene took the cat to the shelter, but at the prospect of having to leave her there, he asked where the nearest vet clinic was instead. He didn’t have much money saved, but he was willing to spend it all to get her checked out. He ended up spending it all on the vet trip, a collar, and adoption papers.
“Apple, you’re ready to come home with me! Isn’t that right?” Gene lifted the cat he named Apple up to eye-level to snuggle her face with his. She meowed in response and he walked home with a new pep in his step.
“You spent all your money on this gato?!” His mom wasn’t too happy to hear the news. *“cat”
Gene shrugged and continued playing with Apple. “Sí, Mamá. I rescued her and adopted her.” *“Yes, Mom”
“But you didn’t ask me first! You know the flower shop isn’t doing so well so I was hoping you would be able to help contribute!” Maria huffed. “You should’ve waited at least until you had a job to take on such a responsibility!”
Gene groaned, “Mom, I’ve been saying that no one’s hiring me! That’s not my fault.”
“But it is! Do you think I don’t know about all of the failed background checks?!” Maria crossed her arms at her son who gave her a surprised expression. “When you use me as a reference, I find out some things. When were you going to tell me about the times you’ve been in trouble with the police?!”
Gene stood and picked up Apple, beginning to walk to the stairs. “I’m going to my room.”
“Son, you can’t avoid this conversation!” She saw he wasn’t turning around, so she yelled behind him, “Look for a job!!”
Gene walked to his room with a deep frown that seemed to increase when Dante poked his head out of his room, concern on his face. “Yo, bro, is Mom okay? I heard yelling…”
Gene forced a relaxed smile. “Yeah, she’s fine. She just wasn’t expecting our newest addition.”
Dante sighed in relief and walked over to him, petting the cat gently. “I thought Mom would like Apple. She’s so sweet!”
“She really is,” Gene chuckled, watching her lean in for more pets. “Mom will warm up to her.”
“I hope so. Hey, do you wanna go to the arcade?! I finished all my homework!”
“Eh, I wish I could, kiddo, but I gotta finish getting Apple set up in my room.”
Dante frowned, but understood. “Aw, okay. Maybe later, then.”
“Maybe,” Gene smiled and ruffled Dante’s hair before going into his room. He set Apple on the bed and looked around. He had cleaned up his room and opened his curtain again as Gene realized she can’t live in an environment like he had before. Gene took some blankets and curled them on the floor in a corner of the room for her and placed her water bowl next to it. “I still need to get her a litter box…maybe another toy…” He opened his wallet and frowned, almost feeling like a moth would fly out of it. “I need a job…”
Gene finally found a job that didn’t mind hiring someone with his record and it allowed him to buy what he needed for Apple and even help his mom with some of the bills. He felt like he was in a much better place than where he was months prior. However, with summer now here and PDH’s graduation had passed, Sasha and Zenix began to come to his house after being tired of his absence.
“Gene, this school year was so boring without you!” Zenix complained on his doorstep.
Sasha exasperatedly sighed, “Zenix, do you not even remember all that happened this year? I told you we didn’t need to come see Gene. Obviously he’s been busy since he hasn’t responded to our texts.”
Gene frowned and stepped outside, closing the door behind him. “Yeah, I have been. Do you guys actually need something or can I get back to it?”
“You didn’t even come to graduation!” Zenix whined. “I kept lookin’ for you thinking you were gonna show up and tag the stage or something!”
“I said I’ve been busy.”
Sasha sighed, letting her true feelings show. “Gene, can’t you at least be ‘not busy’ for a few minutes? It…has been a bit boring without you or whatever…”
Gene raised his eyebrows at her request, not expecting her to also feel that way. He would’ve said no if it was just Zenix, but now Sasha too? “...Fine. I can spare a few minutes.”
That was all it took.
“C’mon, just one!”
“Zenix, I said no!”
“I didn’t know being old meant you became a chicken!” Zenix teased, knowing where to hurt Gene’s ego.
Gene grumbled and snatched the cigarette from Zenix’s hand. “Fine! I am not a chicken! …And I’m only a year older than you!”
Sasha rolled her eyes as she let smoke drift from her lips.
Gene hesitantly put the stick in his mouth, knowing without a shadow of doubt that he was not supposed to do this. Unfortunately, he was a sucker for peer pressure.
His phone rang, most likely with his supervisor asking why he wasn’t at work. Gene couldn’t be bothered with it though.
He lounged against a rock, blowing out puffs of smoke as Sasha and Zenix complained about their parents nearby. He pulled the cigarette from his mouth once it got too short and lit another one, throwing the pack to Sasha who held her hands open for it. The taste and smoke was disgusting, but he admits that he felt cool again, like in high school. It also provided a distraction from the rising tension between him and his mom, though she had begun to smell it on his clothes. He can tell she was beginning to not believe his excuses.
“Yo, Gene! You’re quiet over there.”
Gene’s eyes trailed over to Zenix. “That’s ‘cause you’re doing all the talking for me.”
“Ha ha.” Zenix stood and nudged Gene with his elbow. “Hey, I had an idea.”
“Don’t touch me.” Gene blew smoke into Zenix’s face and smiled at the laugh Sasha gave as Zenix waved it away. “What could possibly be your idea?”
Zenix scrunched his nose, but told him, “What if we got matching tattoos?! The Shadow Knight emblem forever uniting us!”
“Pass.” Sasha turned away.
“Nope.” Gene snuffed out his cigarette.
“Aw, come on! Then, matching piercings!”
Sasha rolled her eyes. “I’ve already got all I’ve wanted, thank you.”
“Ugh, fine. Gene?”
Gene shook his head. He wouldn’t admit it, but he’s got a pretty low pain tolerance. “Nah.”
Zenix stomped over to his phone. “You guys are boring! I want to get a tattoo or piercing or something!”
“Then, do it. You don’t need us.” Gene raised an eyebrow.
“Actually…I do.” Zenix sheepishly shrugged. “I’m kinda broke.”
“Of course you are.”
“Hey!”
Sasha chuckled. “I figured he was gonna ask for money. You’re really obvious, Z.”
“‘You’re really obvious, Z’,” Zenix mocked, “and didn’t I tell you not to call me that?!”
“Zenix, why not just get a job?” Gene asked, matter-of-factly.
“Need I remind you how hard it was for you to find a job?” Zenix crossed his arms. “They don’t like giving out jobs to people who’ve been in holding cells.”
“Ah,” Gene nodded, thinking faintly of the job he’s currently skipping. “How much is it?”
Sasha gave him a cautious look, “Gene…”
Zenix, however, lit up. “It’s only $80!”
“‘Only’?!”
“I’ll pay you back when I can!!”
Gene frowned as he contemplated giving Zenix the money. Sasha shook her head in his peripheral, but he figured why not. They were the only friends he had after all. “Fine, here.”
“Thank you, Gene!!”
Gene smiled, despite the sense of worry he suddenly felt.
The worry was cemented when he showed up for work a week later to his supervisor firing him. Gene no longer had an income, meaning the $80 he spent could’ve been used for the now overdue cell phone bill he was faced with.
Gene ran a hand through his hair as he looked over his bill statement, wondering how he was going to pay it. Apple meowed behind him, reminding him to give her the medicine she’d been prescribed. She fell sick earlier that week, so he had to spend a lot of his newfound savings for her treatment.
He gave her the medicine and opened a pack of cigarettes, trying to find solace in it. He normally wouldn’t do that inside the house, but he knew his mom was at the flower shop and Dante was out with friends. He just needed an escape…
“GENE, COME UPSTAIRS!” Maria yelled from his bedroom, her face scrunched in anger and frustration.
Gene rushed up the stairs and widened his eyes seeing his bedroom door was open. “Mom, what’s going on? Why’re you in here?”
Maria turned around, holding a near empty pack of cigarettes. “I came to get your laundry and I found a pack of..t-these in your pocket!!”
“Mom, I told you that you didn’t need to do my laundry! I can do that myself!” He tried to reach for the pack but she moved it away.
“I thought so too, but your clothes still smelt sour! Now I know why! Smoking en mi casa?! ¡¿Has perdido la cabeza?!” *“Smoking in my house?! Have you lost your mind?!”
Gene growled. “¡Yo soy un adulto, Mamá!” *“I am an adult, Mom!”
Maria nodded dangerously, “...You’re right. You are an adult. So if I catch you smoking in my house again, skipping work, or receiving any police reports, you’re out of my house.” She picked up the laundry basket and set the pack on top, walking out the door. Before she left, she glanced over her shoulder, giving her son a disappointed expression. “This is not the little boy I raised.”
Things were manageable until Spring of that next year. That’s when his mom kicked him out of the house.
Up until then, he couldn’t find another steady job after his last one. He had to rely on side hustles like delivering food by bike for a while until the bike broke, being a waiter before he was let go for yelling at customers, and picking up a holiday job of wrapping presents at the mall.
He tried to stop smoking, but it seemed like the worse his finances and relationship with his mom got, the more frequently he picked up a stick. Because it had been so cold outside, he smoked in the house, trying to air out his room with his window, but there was no fooling the nose of a mother. It also began to affect Apple, making her cough often, which was something Gene didn’t know cats could do.
Dante still thought his brother could do no wrong, so he kept defending Gene to his mom, pleading for her to let him stay at home for longer. He didn’t understand why she kept bringing it up other than the fact that Gene was close to turning 21 and both of them had graduated from high school. Maybe she just wants both of them to go to college? But…Gene didn’t go, so Dante didn’t want to either. Maybe that was another reason why she wanted Gene to move out? Dante wasn’t sure.
Gene was struggling financially, physically, and mentally in a greater slump than what he went through two years ago. Even Sasha and Zenix were starting to figure things out for themselves and yet, Gene sat there, blankly staring at the wall as he pet his sleeping cat, with no goals or major accomplishments to his name.
“That’s it! I can no longer hold your hand.” Maria stood in the doorway, frowning at him. “You spend all of your time in here or saying you’re going to work when I know you’re not!! Officer Joe has seen you loitering around town smoking outside of businesses and- I still smell it in your room! Gene, do you even want to better yourself?!”
Gene’s eyes sharpened as he repeated her words in his head. “What do you think?”
Maria jerked back at the bite in his words and she caught sight of the Past Due bill notices. “Gene…you haven’t been paying your bills?!”
He was growing in anger, at himself, his situation, and his mom’s direct questions. “What does it look like?!!”
She began to scold him heavily as he tried to defend himself, both of their voices raising in volume. At the end of it, Maria grabbed the door handle and yelled, clearly and sharply, “It’s time for you to leave, Gene! Go start your life and make it better!”
“How am I supposed to do that when you’re kicking me out?!”
“I gave you enough time and chances and you’re still living selfishly and recklessly!! Can’t you even see you’re hurting tu gato?! ¡Eres mi corazón, Gene, pero tienes que aprender a vivir por tu cuenta! …The only way to do that is to send you out there. Be packed up and ready to go by tomorrow evening.” *“your cat?! You are my heart, Gene, but you have to learn to live on your own!"
Gene felt his anger cool off as a cold sense of desperation washed over him. “Mamá…” *"Mom..."
Maria solemnly turned her head away and left the room, closing the door behind her.
Gene crashed on the couch of one of his former coworkers - a guy he clicked with but maybe wasn’t the best influence on him - and made money as a dishwasher at a local diner. It wasn’t glamorous, but it allowed him to work in the back, away from customers who may complain about him, and gave him all of the smoke breaks he needed.
His savings account started to grow and he moved out about a year later to an extremely small studio apartment.
“What?! This is your apartment?! HAHAHA!” Zenix clutched at his sides as he saw there was barely any space for the bed next to the kitchen/dining room and living room/bathroom.
“Don’t listen to him, Gene.” Sasha rolled her eyes. “This is a big deal-”
“-Bigger than your apartment, HA!”
Gene glared at Zenix, but chose to focus on Sasha’s words. “Thanks. It’s better than that couch.”
Sasha awkwardly maneuvered in the space not meant for three people. “Didn’t you say the springs stuck out of the cushions?”
Gene rubbed his back, sorely. “Yeah. I still have the bruises to show for it.”
Apple coughed before jumping on Zenix’s head, making him frown. “Gene, I don’t like it when she does that!”
“Your hair’s comfortable, I guess.”
“No, no, the coughing thing! It’s so disgusting!”
Sasha plucked Apple out of Zenix’s hair and snuggled her in her arms. “She can’t help it. It’s because a certain someone keeps smoking inside. You’re actually addicted to those things, Gene.”
He furrowed his eyebrows, feeling defensive. “Well, it’s your fault I started them to begin with!”
“Actually, that was Zenix, but just like, stop?”
Zenix scoffed, “Don’t listen to her, Gene. Now give me some, I ran out.”
Apple coughed again and Gene frowned. “Just take the whole pack…”
A few years later, after upgrading to a slightly nicer apartment, he received the diagnosis for Apple that she had developed lung cancer due to his smoking. He was racked with guilt. He still washed dishes at the restaurant and once he was able to afford an older car, he made food deliveries to supplement some income to pay for her treatment and medicine. She barely ate anymore, just sniffing at her food before walking away. It would stress him out. He would go out onto his small balcony and smoke when he felt like that, but each drag filled him with more shame and made him feel worse. When he started to think about skipping work again, that’s when he knew he needed help.
“You’re telling me I have to pay hundreds of dollars an hour to get advice from a random person?!” Gene threw his phone to the side and stuffed his head into his hands. Apple sniffed his phone and stared up at him as he contemplated what to do. If he saw a therapist, he’d be losing money; if he talked to his friends, they wouldn’t understand; and he didn’t even want to ask his mom for help.
He tried watching online videos about getting out of slumps, dealing with his past, etc., but they all felt like empty words to him. Nothing stuck or stood out.
Gene leaned back on his couch and laid an arm across his eyes as a video played in the background of his thoughts. He was about to give up on the ‘help’ idea until he heard, “...‘by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, He will restore, support, and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation’.”
Gene lifted his arm to stare incredulously at the screen. He didn’t click on a religious video, so why was he hearing what sounded like preaching?
“1 Peter 5:10 has been a big encouragement to me because I’ve gone through my fair share of hardships: depressive thoughts, poverty, homelessness, and hopelessness. There was no light at the end of the tunnel…until I saw that scripture on the sign outside my local church. It truly felt like a ‘sign’.”
Gene rolled his eyes and was about to change it when the speaker pointed at the screen.
“It’s a sign for you, too.”
He paused.
“God knows what you’re going through and He will redeem it when you come to Him for help. ‘Redeem’ is the term you hear at arcades - like, ‘redeem the tickets you’ve won for prizes’! That’s what God does: He takes your ‘tickets’, or your pain, and He gives you ‘prizes’, like peace and deliverance. Let Him redeem your past and circumstances. If you enjoyed today’s video, don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe!”
The video’s outro played as Gene frowned at the screen. ‘Redeem’, huh? He’s heard a lot about Irene and he’s used God’s Name in curses before, but he can’t say he knows much more about religion other than that. Gene huffed out a breath and turned off the video to get ready for bed.
Similar to how you buy a new car and now it feels like more people are driving your exact model as you see it everywhere, Gene was experiencing the same with God. Gene’s ears pick up on His Name more often in the conversations around him. He now noticed the churches that once blended into the city surroundings and the signs outside of them with inspirational messages and scriptures written on them. The word ‘redeem’ had been bouncing around his brain and a week later, he couldn’t take it anymore.
He pulled the video back up on his day off and watched it again, this time listening to the whole thing. The first half had nothing to do with religion, like he thought, but then he got to the part from before:
“The New Living Translation of 1 Peter 5:10 says, ‘In His kindness God called you to share in His eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, He will restore, support, and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation’. 1 Peter 5:10 has been a big encouragement to me because I’ve gone through my fair share of hardships. Depressive thoughts, poverty, homelessness, and hopelessness. There was no light at the end of the tunnel…until I saw that scripture on the sign outside my local church. It truly felt like a ‘sign’. It’s a sign for you, too.”
Gene felt an indescribable feeling that made his hairs stand on end as a gust of wind brushed past him. He looked around the room and saw nothing until the sunlight through his window shone through his glass of water and refracted a small rainbow on his kitchen counter. Apple uncharacteristically jumped up on the counter and laid down where the rainbow was, painting her face with the colors as she purred.
Gene whipped his head back to the video and could only whisper, “Whoa.”
“I’m telling you, it had to have meant something!!”
Sasha and Zenix glanced at each other before looking at Gene as though they couldn’t understand what he was saying.
Gene noticed their faces and groaned, running his hands down his face. “I know it sounds crazy, but what if it wasn’t, huh?! I mean, God has to be real or something or else people wouldn’t talk about Him so much?”
“They also talk about Tedward Culinary and Nutella Swan, but we know they don’t actually exist!” Zenix argued.
Sasha poked his shoulder with a raised eyebrow. “I knew you read ‘Midnight’!”
“Guys, you’re missing the point!” Gene yelled, trying to grab their attention again before they started talking about sprinkle cupcake vampires. “I felt…a stillness or..a peace that I don’t think I’ve ever had in that moment! It was like…it really did feel like God was telling me that video was right and He actually is real!”
“Look, whatever makes you happy,” Sasha said dismissively.
Zenix was tired of the conversation so he pulled out a box of cigarettes. “You’ve definitely lost it. Here, it’d make you feel better.”
Gene looked at the cigarette and though he felt his hand twitch from his habit, Gene shook his head. “No…I don’t think I want one.”
Both of his friends looked at him surprised. Zenix rubbed his ear, thinking he heard that wrong. “What?”
“I…don’t want to smoke anymore.”
“Oh, here he goes! He mentions religion and now he thinks he’s all high and mighty and too good for a little smoke!” Zenix criticized.
Gene was confused and said, “I don’t think that! I just…I’ve been wanting to quit for a while, for Apple.”
Sasha raised an intrigued eyebrow while Zenix continued to grumble, “Yeah, yeah, sure. Pretty soon, you’re gonna want to stop hanging out with us because we’re not ‘holy enough’!”
Gene’s expression was shifting into hurt by his assumptions, feeling accused of something he didn’t even do. Sasha picked up on it and sighed loudly as she grabbed Zenix’s shoulders. “Z, relax. You think he’d be here right now if he planned on dumping us? If he wants to be a priest, just let him.”
“I don’t want to be a priest-”
“Sasha, but-!”
“Nuh uh. Now walk it off.”
Zenix stared at Gene for a moment before brushing Sasha’s hands off of his shoulders and storming into the park.
Gene felt conflicted. Yes, they hadn’t talked about religion before, but he thought they would be happy for him! He just said he felt a peace that was foreign to him. It was at least a little cool.
“Don’t focus on him, Gene.” Sasha sat back down on the bench, prepared to wait for Zenix to come back. “Do what you want. Just don’t point out every ‘bad’ thing we do after you start going to church and everything.”
“I wasn’t…” His voice trailed off. He hadn’t thought about going to church, but is that what he’s supposed to do after an experience like that? Would he become like those snooty, judgmental religious people he’s seen on tv and heard gossiping at events when he was younger?
The next few weeks were spent learning about Christianity - the name of the religion from that video as he later learned. He looked up the 1 Peter 5:10 verse and read it whenever it came to mind, trying to figure out more about it. He learned about Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, and the Gospel, or Good News of Christ.
“Huh…” Gene flipped through the pages of the Holy Bible he just purchased from the store. Apple sat on his lap, coughing occasionally, but content against Gene. Christianity was still weird to him because of its unfamiliarity, but as he learned more, he couldn’t deny the appeal. “Maybe…I will try going to church…?” Gene looked down at Apple who only meowed back at him. He took that as a yes.
The environment was so happy and loud, it was making Gene’s head hurt. This is what church was like?? He looked around at all of the fancy clothing everyone was wearing and he felt out of place in his jeans and t-shirt. After everyone stopped singing and was seated, the pastor began preaching and Gene only understood a portion of what he was talking about. Unfortunately, he found his eyelids starting to droop as he fought back sleep. Maybe church just wasn’t for him.
He stood up and awkwardly maneuvered past the people seated on his row so he could leave, thinking that he should’ve just stayed home. That’s when the pastor said, “And some of us in this room have gone through the toughest of toughs and the roughest of roughs. Almost as though you thought you were at rock bottom and then the floor gave out from under you.” Gene stopped near the door and turned around.
“I’ve been through that more times than I can count and I’m sure there’s people in here that feel the same way. But we have hope! You wanna know why?”
Gene’s brows furrowed as he listened curiously.
“Because God still wants to use you!”
The congregation clapped as Gene thought about his words.
“God has so much planned for your life. You may not know it yet, but He’s got a plan! There’s people to meet and things to do, but you’re gonna need to go through some stuff to get there. It’s not easy or preferred, but can’t you say you’re stronger now because of what you went through and that you have more experiences to help others going through something similar? God’s Word says, in 1 Peter 5:10-11-” Gene felt an immense wave of emotion crash into him that made him hold onto a pillar. “-‘But may the God of all grace, Who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.’ Take note of those promises of God perfecting and strengthening you! Also, in the New Living Translation, because what I just read was the New King James Version, it says ‘God will restore, support, and strengthen you and He will place you on a firm foundation’! Can we give God some praise?!”
Gene fell to his knees in the doorway of the church, feeling overcome and weighed down by something both tangible and unseen as the congregation lifted praises. Tears fell from his face without his knowledge and the ushers by the door saw him and rushed over. When the pastor noticed what was going on, he asked a member of the church’s leadership to pray over him. “God is worthy of the praise and trustworthy to lean on in times of trouble! If you’re going through something, go through it with God!!”
The church member knelt down in front of Gene and placed a blanket over his back as she began to pray over Him. As she spoke, it was as if she knew everything Gene had gone through because she prayed for God’s help in breaking his addictions, healing his relationships, and forgiving Gene for the cruel actions he had done. She also prayed for Gene to forgive himself as Christ forgives him. The interceding prayer shattered past every defense that existed around his heart, making him cry harder than he ever had before.
His life was changed. He knew that for certain. There was no way he could experience something like this and claim God wasn’t real. God was 100% real without a doubt and by the way the woman kept repeating, “He loves you so much”, Gene knew that it was coming straight from God to him. God loves him more than he could fathom and more than his dad ever did. Gene didn’t even realize he held onto his dad’s abandonment until now. He felt as though his whole soul was laid bare and God was sitting right next to him on the floor of the church. Was this what being redeemed by God felt like? He thought it was pretty nice.
Gene still had to sort through his anger, which surprised him because he thought once he became a Christian, all his problems would be immediately solved. Some of them were, like he never picked up a cigarette again, especially as Apple’s health seemed to get worse. But others, like forgiving himself, were going to take more time. But, Gene was committed to working on everything with God.
He apologized when he realized he hurt people, sent his mom a few gifts through the mail, and even reached out to Dante to finally go see a movie together. Things were going well until he and his manager at the restaurant got into a big disagreement and got fired. With only the food delivery side hustle to fall back on and Apple needing more trips to the vet for treatment, Gene started feeling like he did before he believed in God. He would go to sleep anxious and wake up stressed, searching for full-time jobs and receiving numerous rejections. He had to settle on another series of part-time jobs and it was weighing on him.
Then, Apple died.
Gene didn’t leave his apartment for two weeks, feeling completely responsible for her passing. He didn’t work, barely ate, and his Bible started collecting dust.
Sasha and Zenix knocked on his front door, but he didn’t open it, so Sasha pulled out a hairclip and unlocked the door. Stepping into the dark apartment, stale air hit her nose. “Gene?”
“Ew, he let this place go…” Zenix stated, pinching his nose.
Sasha groaned and stepped in further, looking in the direction of his bedroom. “He’s probably in there. Come on.” They walked to the bedroom door and called out, “Gene, it’s Sasha and Zenix! Can we come in?” When there was no reply, Sasha prepared to pick the lock again, until she heard him tell them the door was unlocked.
Walking in, Gene was under the blanket and his blinds were pulled shut. Zenix grimaced as he asked, “What is he? A vampire?”
“Gene, why’re you sitting in darkness? You know that doesn’t help anything.” Gene only grumbled in response. Sasha sat on the edge of the bed and asked Zenix to open the blinds. “Gene…it’s been two weeks.”
Gene’s voice was hoarse, “She died…”
Sasha frowned, “I know…I’m so sorry.”
“It’s my fault…”
Sasha was going to tell him it wasn’t, but she couldn’t deny that his smoking habit brought about Apple’s sickness. “...I’m sorry…”
Gene started sniffling under the blanket, trying not to cry around his friends, who looked at each other with uncertainty.
Zenix hesitantly stepped towards the bed and thought of something that may help, “H-Hey, Gene…God makes you happy, r-right?” Sasha whipped her head towards him in surprise. “A-And, Apple may be in cat heaven, s-so…”
Gene sniffed and lowered the blanket from his face enough that he could look at Zenix. His eyes were bloodshot, but what Zenix was saying must be working, so he continued, “S-Since Apple’s in cat heaven…God is watching her or something… I-I don’t know how death in religion works..” Zenix felt awkward, but grew in hope when Gene lowered the blanket further.
“...I’m still trying to figure it out…but thanks. Really. Thank you, both.”
Sasha and Zenix grinned. They managed to get Gene out of bed and opened all of his blinds, trying to get him out of the state of mind he was in before. They also helped clean his apartment as he showered and made sure he ate something. Afterwards, Zenix picked up Gene’s Bible and handed it to him. “There’s some dust on it, but I think you need to read it again since it’s what got you to leave your blanket.”
Gene chuckled sheepishly and took the Bible from him, smiling at the effort Zenix was making despite his reservations. “Thanks. I’ll do that.”
“Cool. Now we got things to do. Don’t mope in here anymore, okay? It’s creepy.” Zenix gestured to all of the curtains, indicating Gene should leave them open, as he walked to the door.
Sasha rolled her eyes and patted Gene’s shoulder. “We’re here when you need us.”
“Thank you,” Gene smiled and watched them leave. Then, he let his eyes roam over his apartment, reminiscing about Apple and all of her favorite places to sit. His eyes started tearing up again, but in his sadness, he opened the Bible and picked up reading where he last left off.
Years have passed and Gene was now wiping down tables in Aphmau’s Maid Café humming an Alternative Christian song from a band he liked. He wasn’t working where he thought he’d be, but he was content, surrounded by people who gave him a second chance and cared about him. He could still feel distrust from a few people, like Zane (who made it a point to let him know that), but Aphmau was now his friend and Aaron’s giving him the benefit of the doubt, which he was thankful for. Gene knows his sins are forgiven through Jesus; he’s working towards forgiving himself and making things right with the people around him. He doesn’t require that they forgive him, but knowing they could see the genuineness in his actions makes him incredibly happy.
Gene looked around the cafe and smiled.