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Paris is a huge city.
So it’s shocking when the two superheroes find themselves behind the movie theatre after an akuma battle with Mr. Pigeon…again.
“Hey! I was going to transform here first.” Chat Noir pouts.
Ladybug giggles. “Not very eager to find out my identity anymore kitty?”
I don’t need to see you de-transform to figure who you are.”
She freezes.
“I would be able to see those beautiful blue eyes anywhere.’ Chat winks at her.
Ladybug relaxes, “I highly doubt that.”
“I bet that if I saw you in our civilian lives, I would immediately recognize you. I’m not in love with Ladybug the Superhero, I’m in love with Ladybug, the girl of my dreams.”
She snorts. “You’re ridiculous.”
—-
He didn’t recognize her.
I mean, he did. His slack jaw and wide eyes are proof that he’s blatantly aware that his idolized crush is his classmate Marinette Dupain-Cheng.
And similar for her, her idolized crush is Chat Noir.
But for some stupid reason, the only thing sticking in her mind is their conversation almost a week ago.
When he said he’s so confident that he would immediately recognize her as a civilian.
That was obviously false.
And Marinette is having an internal battle through her head, because why is that the only thing she can think of? Why not freak out that Adrien is Chat Noir, or the fact that they're in more danger now that they know each other's identity?
Why is that old conversation suddenly hurting her so much?
Reluctantly, tears began to fall down her face. First, it was silent, but then after one small hiccup, she was fully bawling.
Get yourself together! Marinette, this is so embarrassing! She screams to herself.
Confusion is written all over Adrien’s face as he watches his classmate squat towards the ground with her hands covering her face.
He’s frozen, which is unusual. Normally, he considers himself to be pretty decent when it comes to comforting someone. He’s done that so many times with Ladybug!
But seeing Ladybug -Marinette- cry, stung.
Even though he’s fully aware the conclusion he’s coming to probably isn’t accurate, the thought of her crying because she’s disappointed that he’s Chat Noir is powerfully upsetting.
“Marinette…” His voice is small, hidden from the sounds of her sobs.
Adrien watches as her Kwami attempts to comfort her by rubbing a tiny paw on her back.
He lets out a deep exhale and reaches in his jacket pocket to toss a chunk of camembert at Plagg.
Thankfully, Plagg refuels much faster than he would typically prefer to, allowing Adrien to transform into Chat Noir once more.
Back in his securing leather, he walks towards and crouches in front of Marinette.
She reveals her wet cheeks and red eyes hidden behind her fingers, watching his defeated face. Then, she glances down where he’s holding out a hand to her.
Marinette hesitates, just like she did the night she lost all the Miraculous, but eventually she grabs his hand.
Chat Noir pulls her to her feet, and wordlessly communicates his intentions with his baton in the hand that isn’t holding onto her, positioned in the usual way before he extends it out the ground.
She allows him to pull her in closer in an awkward hug that for some reason makes her start crying again.
Minutes later, Marinette leaves his arms after they land safely back on her rooftop.
And just as she is gathering courage to actually speak to him,
Chat leaps off her balcony.
Marinette holds her breath while she climbs down to her bed, and when she’s finally away from anyone (other than Tikki, but she’s witnessed so much worse) and the rest of the world, she lets herself audibly break into ugly sobs.
Chat Noir left her, and to be fair, she did cry almost immediately after seeing him de-transform in that alleyway after the akuma battle. So it’s understandable if he’s a little taken aback — a little hurt.
But he didn’t realize that his classmate and friend was his crush and partner for the past nine months.
Granted, Marinette didn’t recognize him either, but she never assumed that she would be able to recognize him in their civilian lives.
It’s not Chat fault, he’s quite literally the sweetest person alive and combined with the fact she now knows he’s Adrien, that fact is multiplied by hundreds.
And Marinette is so aware that she’s being completely irrational, but it felt like Chat Noir - Adrien - really did only love Ladybug the superhero.
Not Marinette.
Adrien would without a doubt never think Marinette is less than wonderful, but apparently she’s less than his version of Ladybug.
Marinette’s crying suddenly halts and transforms into a frustrated groan. Not targeted towards him.
But rather, herself.
She grabs her big cat pillow to snuggle and bury her tear stained face in, but then she starts thinking of the blonde boy with cat ears and a tail and throws it off her bed.
“Woah, Mairinette!” The Kwami exclaims, narrowly dodging the pillow.
Marinette abruptly sits up. “Sorry Tikki.”
“…do you wanna talk about it?”
“There’s not much to talk about.” Marinette shrugs.
She catches Tikki’s skeptical eyes.
“Okay, yeah there’s a lot to talk about, but right now I just feel really…”
“Confused?” The Kwami offers.
Marinette sniffles and rubs her eyes with her sleeves. “Yeah. Confused.”
Tikki flies closer to the bed and sits down on the wrinkled comforter. “I know I’m not an expert in human emotions, but I’ll always be here to talk.”
“Thanks…”
Marinette takes a breath in. “It’s just, do you remember the conversation Chat and I had that last time we almost detransformed in the same place?”
“The one where he was positive he could spot you straight away if you met in your civilian forms?” Tikki asks.
“Yeah.” Marinette gives her a weak smile. “That one.”
She continues. “Obviously, he was wrong, and I don’t know why but when I saw his surprised expression, my eyes started to tear up before I could understand the reason. He didn’t look disappointed, but I was obviously not someone he expected Ladybug to be.”
“The quantum masks are spectacular at covering any identifiable characteristics.”
“I know, but it’s different. I didn’t expect him to call me out as Ladybug if we ever met, but it was the way he was so sure that he could identify me because in his words, he’s ‘not in love with Ladybug the superhero’ but rather ‘in love with the girl of his dreams.”
“Which, I’m not the girl of his dreams, and the fact that he’s Adrien freaking Agreste only made that realization worse.”
The conversation pauses for a second, before Tikki speaks. “Marinette you are Ladybug. The Miraculous only gives you the powers of creation, but it doesn’t give you the passion and confidence.”
“I know that, for sure now at least. Remember how insecure I felt the first few months being Ladybug?” Tikki nods. “I’m upset because even if we’re the same, regardless of powers, Chat Noir has—had an idealistic version of the girl he loved.”
“Loves.” Tikki corrects her.
“Sure, loves.”
Marinette sighs. “It’s just like how I made the picture perfect image of Adrien in my head, when there’s much more to him than being the perfect model or perfect crush.
“So do you not like Adrien anymore?”
“No! It’s not like…I don’t know. I think I just need space, not space from him since we don’t really have the opportunity to, but space from my feelings I guess.”
She sighs again. “I’m being dramatic.”
“You’re not being dramatic.” Tikki assures her.
Marinette ignores Tikki. “Besides, it’s not like I didn’t already know he wouldn’t recognize me. We’ve run into each other as Chat Noir and Marinette a few times anyways. I literally confessed my love to him without knowing it was him before!
Tikki cocks her head aside, confused.
“Dear Buttercup?"
“Oh right.” She snickers, “I remember that day.”
Marinette groans. “I feel like I’m being unfair.”
“You’re not being unfair, you’re being human, and if there’s anything I learned that’s important to human kind, it’s that communication is invaluable.”
“I hate that you’re right.” Marinette chuckles. “Do you think that I’ll be able to get my homework done after dinner and a predictably long conversation with Adrien tonight?”
— — —
She wasn’t able to eat dinner that night. The nerves of the looming conversation with Adrien threatened to ensure that no food would be able to sit comfortably in her stomach. So instead, Marinette makes the excuse that she’s not feeling well to her parents, and that she’s going to get an early night's rest.
However six minutes later, Ladybug finds herself perched on top of the roof facing the Agreste Mansion. The windows to Adrien’s room are so expansive, that she can spot him lying face down on his bed.
Her anxiety is about to force her to return to the comfort of her bedroom before a voice that sounds a lot like Tikki starts to hype her up.
You got this Marinette! Just talk to him and everything will be okay.
Ladybug takes a deep breath and throws her yo-yo towards the single opened window, and clumsily misses, stubbing her toe in the process.
“Ow!”
Adrien sits up at the sudden noise and watches as Ladybug sits on his windowsill, clutching her foot. Her face scrunched and tense.
He hastily stands from his bed and makes his way towards her, offering his hands to help her get inside. Just like earlier, she hesitantly grabs it and is carefully pulled inside.
They stare at each other for a second, Ladybug’s face burning from the embarrassment of her failed entrance.
“Hi.” She timidly waves.
“Hi.” Adrien replies.
Ladybug clears her throat. “Uhm, thanks for taking me home, and I’m sorry, about…earlier.”
Adrien shrugs, avoiding eye contact.
She briefly studies him. His eyes and nose subtly red, showing evidence of him crying recently.
“Adrien?”
“I’m sorry you’re disappointed it's me.” He quickly mutters.
Ladybug cocks her head. “What? I’m not disappointed!”
He snaps his head up and finally looks at her, eyes offering a glimpse of hope. “You’re not? Then why did you cry?”
“It’s really stupid.” She admits.
“It’s not stupid if it makes you upset. Please, Ladybug, tell me what’s wrong?”
Marinette ignores the way hearing him call her Ladybug and not Marinette makes her heart crack.
“Can I…can I detransform? I think I need to feel more vulnerable for this conversation.”
“You don’t need to ask my permission m’lady.”
“Spots off.”
Silently, Plagg zooms from whatever corner he was hiding in and meets Tikki. Then in a flash of red and black, they disappear to the second story of his room.
Marinette fidgets with her fingers “uhm-“
“Do you want to sit on the couch?” He offers, hoping to make her feel as comfortable as possible.
As safe as possible. Safe enough that she trusts him to release her worries.
“Oh yeah, sure.”
He follows her as she takes a seat on the comfy white couch, making sure to leave more space than necessary. An action that doesn't go unnoticed.
Marinette feels his piercing gazing on her as she stares outside to the falling sun. She takes a moment to decide the best way to start the conversation.
“Do you remember what you said last time we almost de-transformed in front of each other behind the movie theatre?”
“..yes.” Adrien breathlessly whispers, and Marinette knows that he realizes where this discussion is headed. “Marinette-”
“I know it’s really irrational of me to jump to any sort of conclusions, but unfortunately I do it anyways no matter how self aware I actually am.”
She starts unconsciously playing with her hair. “So, when I saw the look on your face after we transformed in front of each other, I could only think about how confident you were that you could identify me in our civilian lives.”
“And so I guess I started spiraling down this sad path, because even though I’m sure you don’t think that I’m not fitting to be Ladybug–”
“I don’t.” He places a hand on top of her knee.
She continues. “Even though I already knew you wouldn't recognize me, the sudden realization that…well…it just broke my heart.”
“What realization?”
“You love me, Ladybug. I love you, Adrien. And although we’re all the same, it felt like I suddenly didn’t know you anymore, and that you didn't know me. Which is weird right? Because I should feel like I know you more than I know myself!”
“Like, it feels like we only have these concepts of each other, and–” She turns and notices his confused face. “Oh my god, I can never express what I’m feeling in words."
Adrien hesitantly scoots closer to her. “I’m not going to lie and say that I understand what you’re feeling, because honestly I am a little lost, but Marinette.” Him saying her name pulls her gaze towards him. “I promise that you being Ladybug makes a hundred – no – ten thousand percent sense!”
“You’re not saying that to make me feel better are you?”
Adrien eyebrows furrow. “No, of course not!”
Marinette puts her elbows on her legs and leans forward. “I think what I’m really trying to say is that, I feel like we need to re-learn each other. Connecting our superhero selves with our civilian counterparts. Look past the idolized crushes we have on one another.”
“And that’s completely understandable, but just so you know, Ladybug being Marinette doesn’t erase my feelings towards you. I agree that there’s a new aspect of love that I’m going to be introduced to, one that I never considered for you.”
She lets out a laugh. “I’m no longer just a friend?”
“Ugh, don’t remind me of that.” Adrien groans, throwing his head back. “I kept convincing everyone that I didn’t have feelings for you because I was so in love with – with you!”
“Hey don’t beat yourself up too much, I did the same with Tikki when it came to my feelings for Chat Noir.”
“So you did end up falling for me.” He winks.
“Yeah, well, you didn’t recognize my ‘beautiful blue eyes’ like you bet you could.”
They start laughing, easing up the tension between the two.
“I don’t think it’s going to take much to re-learn each other like you said m’lady.”
She sighs. “Yeah I think I’m realizing I was majorly overthinking.”
“And I love that about you.”
Marinette's face softens as she gazes back into Adrien’s green loving eyes. She jumps forward and wraps her arms around his neck.
“I’m really sorry for earlier again.” She murmurs into his t-shirt.
“Don’t stress about it.” He soothingly rubs her back. “I already forgave you.”
Marinette pulls back, but Adrien still has his arms wrapped around her. She lets out a sigh. “We still have serious things that we need to discuss.”
“Like?”
“The potential danger that we face now that we know each other’s identity?”
Adrien pouts and it strikingly reminds her of his superhero persona. “Can we just ignore that for today and bask in this happy moment?”
She considers it for a moment, and warmly smiles back at him, leaning on his chest as Adrien lays back on the couch. “Anything you want.”
They eventually drift off to sleep wrapped in each other's arms , unaware of a cozy green blanket falling on top of them.
Nathalie looks down at the two teens and shakes her head, hiding a small smile while walking back out of the room.