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As Zack lies with his soft head resting on Collin’s chest, Collin comes to a realization.
He’s afraid.
Collin swallows the lump in his throat and turns his head to look out at the dim sunlight peeking through the slats in the trapdoor. Zack breathes slowly, chest rising and falling steadily. His paw lies limp on Collin’s hand, soft blue fur outlining fragile fingers.
An intense feeling of anxiety rushes intermittently through Collin’s body every time Zack shifts. Even in sleep, he clings to Collin. Fuck, Collin’s going to break his heart.
Zack’s fur is tinted bright in the gray morning light. He looks ethereal, eyes shut, eyelashes fluttering with the movements of dreaming. His leg is draped over Collin’s, loose, gentle. Every so often, one of his small ears flick.
Every warm breath that brushes Collin’s skin feels like a brand.
Collin hasn’t fallen in love before. Is this how it should feel?
Collin feels a little like crying. He doesn’t let himself, though. He doesn’t want Zack to wake up to that. He doesn’t want to be a burden. He’s sick of being weak.
Zack shifts, and Collin freezes. With a small sigh, Zack’s eyes blink gingerly open. Oh, god, he’s so beautiful, and Collin’s a monster. Collin isn’t going to cry.
“Morning, Collin,” Zack whispers, mouth curving into a smile. His voice is soft, thumb moving slowly over Collin’s knuckles.
Collin’s heart stumbles. He breathes in slow through his nose.
“...Good morning.”
Zack sleepily moves his paw upward. His paw cradles Collin’s cheek, digits curling around his chin. For a long moment there is no sound save for their unsynced breathing, as Zack gazes into Collin’s eyes.
Zack stretches his head up and gently kisses Collin like it’s nothing. Like he’s used to it.
Zack’s free hand moves to hold Collin’s waist. Zack leans his head down, burying his face in Collin’s chest. Collin feels like a fish out of water, staring uselessly as Zack puts on display everything Collin can never be. He’s so kind. He’s so loving.
With a soft sound, Zack rubs his face against Collin’s torso. His eyes are closed. His whiskers twitch, ears shifting back and forth. His body is so warm. How is this happening?
Collin isn’t going to cry.
Collin’s hand, embraced beneath Zack’s loose paw, clenches against the mattress. He bites his lips and swallows.
Zack’s voice, muffled against Collin’s body, pipes up.
“We have food for breakfast, right?”
We. Like they’ve lived together for years. Collin takes a deep breath.
“Yeah.”
Zack sighs quietly. He stretches, arms shivering with tension, before exhaling sharply and sitting up. He rubs at his dark eyes and slips off the bed, looking over at Collin with a small smile. His shirt—Collin’s shirt–hangs loose off his slim shoulders and Collin feels his heart rattle in his ribcage. If he were to search through the soft fur on Zack’s neck, he’d be sure to find bruise-red marks. A shiver of nerves runs through Collin’s body.
Collin feels disgusting for how much the image of Zack’s body marked enraptures him. He’s just like every man his mother warned him about when he was a little girl. How horrible of him, to not only mar such a perfect surface but to take pleasure in it. Zack’s so kind. What if he didn’t really want any of it? What if he was just pleasing Collin because he was afraid? What if Collin has ruined everything?
Collin stands and follows Zack up the ladder.
As always, he is greeted by rain ricocheting off of the roof of his shoddy home. Oddly, today seems to be brighter than usual. Though the clouds still lie pregnant with rain, the sun has chosen to peek timidly through the gray cover, casting soft white rays on the mountains in the horizon. What little is visible through Collin’s small windows is stunning.
Zack hovers by the house chests, dark eyes unsure. Silently, Collin opens the rightmost chest, rummaging around for last night’s smoked pork. The rough texture alerts his senses when his fingertips brush the food, and he retrieves two cuts.
Zack smiles when Collin hands him one of the pieces. Oh, God, Zack’s eyes. They crinkle when he smiles. Zack is the most beautiful man alive. He must have been painted by the careful hand of God, each brushstroke laid perfectly to break Collin’s heart.
The pork is unseasoned, barely tasting of anything. Collin watches Zack’s canines tear into the tough meat. Zack’s teeth are sharp, inhuman. Omnivorous, yes—but hardly herbivorous, closer to that of a dog than that of an ape. They’re just left of white, a slight yellow tinge indicative of their years of use. Zack’s nose wrinkles when he takes the first bite, and he looks almost guilty when Collin meets his eyes. Is he guilty for not liking the food?
Zack sits on the cobblestone ground. After a moment, Collin follows suit. His legs fold beneath him, the stone’s cold seeping into his body. They eat silently for several long minutes. Occasionally, Zack glances up. He’ll meet Collin’s eye and shoot him a smile like it’s nothing. Like he’s used to this. Collin’s chest aches.
It’s been quiet since Zack arrived. Collin hopes it stays that way.
Collin finishes eating before Zack. For something like three minutes, he sits, quiet, watching Zack eat. Zack’s shirt sleeve slips down his shoulders when he leans too far in any one direction. Collin wants to run his fingers over the mussed fur on his neck. Wants to press his thumb against Zack’s throat and see his eyes roll back. Fuck, he’s so disgusting.
Zack looks a little nervous when Collin finishes eating first. He hastens noticeably, like he’s afraid to be too slow.
Zack speaks first, swallowing the final bite of pork. His voice is timid. “Do you… Um, sorry.”
Pause. “Is there anything to… No, I’m sorry.”
Pause. Zack wrinkles his nose and hits his fist once against his leg.
“Uh.” His ear flicks.
“What is there to… do around here, I guess? I’m sorry. That’s rude.” Zack’s paws fidget absently with the fabric of his shirt, gaze downturned.
Collin exhales through his nose and shrugs. “I dunno.”
Silence for a few moments. Zack looks tired.
Collin taps his pointer finger against his knee, thinking. Occasionally he runs his tongue over his dry, cracking lower lip. If there’s one thing he misses from before, it’s chapstick. “Yeah, there really isn’t much. I guess we could, like, cut down some trees or something.” He itches his nose. “Why, was there more to do in your world?”
At the mention, Zack’s ears fold back and he turns his head away from Collin. His paw moves to smooth down the fur on his arm, repeating the motion as he speaks. “...Kinda.”
Collin waits for him to continue, but nothing comes.
Zack’s head stays downturned. Now he’s clutching himself, both paws running over his arms repetitively.
Collin looks out the leftmost window. The sun is still shining through the clouds.
Collin’s head whips back when Zack start to speak. His head is still down, turned away from Collin. His voice is weak. “You’ve… never had a world corrupt, right?”
Collin shakes his head. “No. I’ve only ever had this one.”
Zack laughs softly. “Yeah, of course. You aren’t from around here. I forgot.”
He doesn’t wait for Collin to respond.
“It’s… um, it’s really scary. Having your world corrupt.”
Zack glances up at Collin, who awkwardly smiles.
Zack exhales a puff of breath through his nose. “I… I dunno how to describe it, really. It’s like… first, the animals stop looking right. They kinda… um, like. It’s like they kinda morph? Like, it’s like their body turns into goo and something’s messing with it. Stretching it. And, um. They… their noises change. It all kinda turns into screaming. It’s loud. But by the time they’re screaming and stretching, like, for real, other stuff starts happening too.”
Zack takes a breath. “The sky turns… totally white. No sun. No stars. No nothing. And the wind stops. I’ve heard that the rivers stop flowing and the ocean stops… um… flowing, too, I guess. I don’t know.” He exhales a self-conscious laugh. “I was gonna say, like… tide-ing. That’s not a word. Um. Anyway. Sorry.”
Zack begins to pick at the fur on his arms. “The, um, ground starts to get wiggly. And then the trees all mush together. And the mountains turn into big columns. I think. I don’t know, I’ve never been in a mountain-y area when it’s happened. I think I saw them do that in the horizon, though. And my Mom talks about the mountain pillars. Talked. Uh. Anyway.” He swallows. “Once the trees get mushy, the ground stops really… working? Um. They–It—Uh, it gets kinda. So.”
Zack bites his lip in thought. “Okay, it’s, um, it’s hard to explain. You know how sometimes in nightmares you’ll be running from a thing and you like, can’t run? Like, you’re just running and running but you’re getting nowhere?”
Collin takes a moment to register the question. “Yeah, I do.”
Zack smiles lopsidedly before continuing. “Okay, yeah, that happens. And all the sound starts to be screaming and static and stuff. And you, um. Kinda start seeing things? At least I did. I saw, like—uh, they kinda looked like Endermen, I guess. All tall and—Do you know what an Enderman is?” He looks at Collin again, who shakes his head.
“Right. Not from around here. The tall dark boney skinny guys with the purple eyes that hiss at you.”
Collin Oh’s softly and Zack nods. “Okay. Um. Okay. They looked like Endermen but even creepier. No eyes or mouth or anything. End’s Song, I hope that’s not just a me thing. I—” Collin cuts him off, pointing his pointer finger up and opening his mouth to speak. “—Huh?”
Collin runs his tongue over his lower lip. “Sorry to interrupt. You said, like, “end song”? What does that mean?”
Zack raises his eyebrows. “Oh, yeah. So, uh. Okay. I dunno if you guys have deities like we do.”
“We do. Have deities.”
Zack Oh’s. “Okay. Cool! Um. Anyway. So, my ancestors worshiped this, like… being, I guess. Called the Universe. It created the End. The End’s structure made this music when the wind blew through the structures, and it was called the End Song. The End Song, it, like, created all life, I think? I think the music was like magic or something because the Universe had created it with Its own body…? I dunno, It’s been a while.” Zack swallows. “Okay. Yeah, it created life. But there wasn’t enough space in the End, so the Universe created the Overworld and sent all the new creatures to there. Now only Enders live in the End. The Overworld is where we are right now.” Zack huffs out a laugh. “Obviously that’s all nonsense. I don’t believe in any of that. But yeah, that’s why I said End’s Song.”
Collin nods. “Cool.”
Zack smiles lopsidedly “Okay. Anyway. Where was I. Uh. Yeah. Seeing things. So, after the Endermen guys appeared, everything kinda mushed together into like, a huge mess of colors and sounds and stuff. And I stopped being able to feel anything except like. Pins and needles, I guess. Through my whole entire body. It sucked really bad. And then I was in the Great Hallway. And there was this… light shining from one of the doors. And it was singing this long, beautiful note, and… I followed it. It took me to the freaky checkerboard place that you and I went to.”
Collin hums. “The Gridworld.”
Zack nods. “Yeah. The Gridworld. It took me there, and… I dunno. I… something led me to your door.” He laughs. “Maybe it was the Universe Itself. Reaching out to me, specifically, out of everyone.”
Collin’s eyes are softer now, gazing at Zack. “Maybe.”
Zack fiddles with his paws. His voice had grown stronger while spoke. Now, however, it’s dimmed back down to a timid mutter. “Sorry for ranting.”
Collin shakes his head. “No, I liked that. Don’t apologize.”
Zack’s ears flick back. “Sorry. Oh… sorry. I—wait.” He laughs at himself, whiskers twitching.
Collin laughs softly. A gentle smile creeps to his lips. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, absently gazing at Zack. When Zack finally notices, the fur on his cheek poufs. Is that his version of blushing? Wow, that’s cute.
Collin’s voice is quiet. “...Thanks for telling me that. I… uh, I liked it.”
Zack’s ears flick, avoiding Collin’s eyes again. “...You’re welcome.”