Work Text:
Hitoshi thinks he's probably walked past this particular coffee shop a million times already without ever noticing it once but today his need for coffee is so strong that his nose guides him to a previously unnoticed little shop.
It smells heavenly, which only makes the fact that he has never noticed it before more confusing, but instead of dwelling on that, Hitoshi struts right in.
And he doesn't even falter when the hottest person he's ever laid eyes on turns piercing red eyes on him.
"What do you want?" the guy snaps and now that gives Hitoshi at least a little pause because that's rude as fuck, but he can practically smell the caffeine in the air and so he decides to ignore his poor manners.
He probably gets enough complaints as it is and Hitoshi is not going to be responsible for a service worker to be fired, no sir.
"A large black coffee with as many espresso shots as you can give me," Hitoshi says, already reaching for his wallet but he stops when he doesn't notice any movement from the other side of the counter.
"You got a death wish?" the rude guy asks and Hitoshi shrugs and then points at his eyebags.
"I need to function somehow."
The guy studies him for a long, long moment but when Hitoshi is just about to tell him to forget it, he finally gets to work. He moves with practiced ease and Hitoshi wonders just how long he's been employed here with that shitty attitude of his but before he can get lost in his thoughts, the guy turns around and slaps a cup on the counter.
"If you die I'm not going to be responsible for this, you look old enough to make your own shitty decisions," he decisively says and Hitoshi winces in mock-outrage.
"Ouch. You don't think my eyebags are sexy?"
"Can't say I do. Are you going to fucking pay or will it be anything else?"
Wow, rude is an understatement, Hitoshi thinks but he finally does get out his wallet, eying the display. The barista put in fifteen shots of espresso which—is a lot more than Hitoshi usually gets and maybe, just maybe he'll have to come back here.
For the coffee of course, not for the exceedingly rude service.
That decision solidifies when he takes his first sip and even though that's a lot of caffeine it's also strangely the best thing he's ever tasted in his life and yep.
Hitoshi will have to be a regular here.
~*~*~
"You survived," is what Hitoshi is greeted with when he comes back the next day and he gives the barista his most winning smile.
Which mostly means he looks like a deranged idiot, but whatever.
"Aw, you remember me," he coos, uncaring of the blazing rage that gets directed his way. If the guy didn't want Hitoshi to be a teasing asshole then maybe he should be a little bit nicer. "Sure did, though. The same thing again, if you wouldn't mind."
"I would, actually," the barista says and now that Hitoshi knows he'll be a regular here he makes it very obvious that he's looking for the guys nameplate.
"But that's not how you get customers to stay, Bakugo," Hitoshi says once he found it and he sees Bakugo's eye twitch.
"Your ugly mug is going to scare customers away, so maybe I don't want you to come back," he shoots back and Hitoshi can't help the little delighted smile.
It's not often that people respond like that to his teasing and his prodding and to have this random barista react in the same vein is giving Hitoshi more will to live than any amount of coffee possibly could.
"Caffeineate me properly and maybe I won't look like this anymore."
"Unlikely, those eyebags seem to be a permanent disfigurement."
"Ouch," Hitoshi mutters even as he watches in delight how Bakugo makes the same horrifyingly strong coffee for him again.
"I'm going to make this for you one more time and then I'm going to cut the espresso down," Bakugo threatens as he puts the cup down but he doesn't let go of it. "What name do I put down?" he asks, glaring at Hitoshi as if he personally offended him and Hitoshi briefly looks around the shop.
There are basically no other customers around at this time of the day and he turns back to Bakugo with a raised eyebrow.
"I don't think we're going to get my order confused," Hitoshi mildly says and Bakugo huffs out a breath.
"Fine. Troll doll it is," he decides and puts that name boldly on the cup.
When he does end up putting fifteen shots in there, Hitoshi doesn't even complain.
~*~*~
"Last time, eyebags," Bakugo warns him the next day and Hitoshi pouts at him.
"Taking away my coffee and my troll doll status? Harsh."
"Make better life decisions and maybe you'll get either back," Bakugo shoots back, filling Hitoshi's cup.
When he puts it down on the counter, Hitoshi reaches for it, but Bakugo doesn't let go.
"Last time, eyebags, I mean it. Do not come in here tomorrow and whine at me to make you the same again, I'm warning you."
"Mh, sure, hot stuff," Hitoshi says, leaning against the counter and batting his eyelashes at Bakugo. "We'll see about that tomorrow."
"Guess we will," Bakugo grumbles as he lets go of Hitoshi's cup and that wasn't an agreement to change the order but Hitoshi has yet worn down anyone.
One grumpy barista is hardly a challenge for him.
~*~*~
"Nooooo, what are you doing, that only has twelve espresso shots in it," Hitoshi cries out, flopping over the counter as if he's allowed to do that and for a split second he fears Bakugo is going to upend the entire cup over his head.
But in the end Bakugo only almost crumples the cup in his hand before he puts it down on the counter right at Hitoshi's head with more self-restrained than Hitoshi thought possible.
"Take it or get the fuck out," Bakugo says as if he couldn't care less and immediately Hitoshi's hands shoot out for his cup because it might be short three shots but it's still the best coffee he ever had.
"Thought so," Bakugo smugly says and rings him up and Hitoshi has to admit that maybe he won this round.
~*~*~
"You're being unusually cruel to me," Hitoshi says the next day when he comes in and Bakugo only puts in ten shots. "You're not even properly weaning me off."
"What are you, a baby? Get your fucking life together."
"Or what? Are you threatening me?" Hitoshi coyly asks, looking Bakugo up and down and then laughing out loud when Bakugo makes the most scandalised noise.
"Fuck you, troll doll," he snaps out and Hitoshi lets out a satisfied sigh.
"You might have taken my caffeine from me but at least you've given me my troll doll status back," he mutters as he inhales the heavenly scent of the coffee. "Small victories," he decides and happily leaves a spluttering Bakugo behind.
~*~*~
The next time Hitoshi comes in, he hasn't slept for approximately forty-eight hours and he feels accordingly.
Going by how big Bakugo's eyes get, he must look like it, too and Hitoshi makes a whiny sound before he even speaks.
"Please. Have mercy. Fifteen," is all Hitoshi manages to say but instead of moving and giving Hitoshi what he needs, Bakugo is frozen to the spot.
"I should tie you to your bed and force feed you sleeping pills before you give yourself a heart attack. What the fuck is wrong with you, zombie face?"
"Awwwww," a new voice cuts in and a red-haired head pokes around a door Hitoshi has honestly never noticed. "Baku-bro, you care about him!" the guy coos out and Hitoshi slow-blinks at the outlandish statement, his processing powers way below his normal speed, but Bakugo doesn't seem to have the same problems because he almost explodes in his anger.
"I'm going to fucking kill you, shitty hair," he screeches out and lunges for the other guy, which ends in a little scuffle Hitoshi is more than happy to watch.
This is better entertainment than any TV show.
When Bakugo has finally let go of the other guy, who wisely retreated back into whatever hole he crawled out of, Hitoshi hits Bakugo with his best puppy eyes and whispers out a pathetic "Please? Caffeine?"
"Stupid fucking idiots and their stupid desires to fucking die," Bakugo grumbles as he gets to work and Hitoshi doesn't dare to blink in fear of missing how many shots Bakugo graces him with today, but he seems to be in a benevolent mood because Hitoshi counts fifteen.
"Get fucking lost, loser," Bakugo says as he hands Hitoshi his coffee. "I don't take money from pathetic people like you."
"Could have saved so much money," Hitoshi mutters, clutching the cup close and burning his mouth when he takes a too big gulp way too quickly.
"Serves you right," Bakugo snorts out and then practically shoos him out of the shop.
~*~*~
It goes on. Some days Bakugo cuts his caffeine consumption down, sometimes he acquiesces to Hitoshi's demand of fifteen shots and some days they snark so much over the counter that Bakugo clearly doesn't keep count and Hitoshi forgets to pay attention, too.
It's all fun and games until one day Bakugo threatens to give him decaf next time Hitoshi annoys him and now that Hitoshi can't let stand.
So he prepares himself.
~*~*~
The next day Bakugo moves to the right side instead of the left and just that change in routine lets Hitoshi know that he's making good on his promise of giving him decaf.
Hitoshi is outraged, but he's also ready.
"I didn't even say anything," he says, because Bakugo specifically tied that punishment to annoying him and Bakugo eyes him over his shoulder.
"You're here. That's annoyance enough," he mildly says but Hitoshi spots the small smile around his mouth and he knows that he enjoys their little spats just as much as Hitoshi does, so really, this is an unjust punishment, all things considered.
"Rude," Hitoshi decides and patiently waits for Bakugo to hand him the cup.
Then he takes the top off, practically feeling Bakugo's eyes burn into him, and this, too, is a deviation of the usual routine.
Hitoshi takes his coffee black—there's no need for him to take off the cap.
"What are you doing?" Bakugo suspiciously asks when Hitoshi reaches into his bag and pulls out an energy drink, which he cracks open and then pours into the mug without breaking eye contact with Bakugo.
It takes him a moment but then he lets out an enraged yell before he flings himself over the counter, knocking the concoction over, hands reaching for Hitoshi's throat.
"You," he hisses out in a rage and then shakes Hitoshi so hard his teeth clack together. "How dare you? How dare you?!" he screams. "You did not just disgrace my coffee like that, you absolute fucking heathen, I should ban you for life!"
Hitoshi laughs and then laughs some more when Bakugo's eyes blaze and it takes him a while to be able to speak again.
"What, I can't alter my coffee?"
"You abso-fucking-lutely cannot," Bakugo hisses out and flings a hand out, accusingly pointing at a stone slate that is mounted on the wall.
Do not alter the drinks that are made in these hallowed halls, it says and Hitoshi almost chokes, he's laughing so hard.
"What the fuck, Bakugo, why do you have that?"
"Because it's a rule, you idiot, you do not alter my drinks, ever. What you just did is a disgrace and punishable by death!"
"You're not just a barista here, are you?" Hitoshi asks, going lax in Bakugo's hands and Bakugo blinks at him, clearly caught off guard by his question.
"I'm the fucking owner, you moron."
"Should have figured," Hitoshi mutters and mourns all the days he could have asked Bakugo out without risking putting him into a difficult position.
As the owner he can tell Hitoshi to fuck off without any worries.
"Go on a date with me? A non-coffee date?"
"You think after what you just did I'd want to be anywhere near you?" Bakugo bites out and Hitoshi looks down at the practically non-existent distant between them.
"Seems like that to me," he easily says and Bakugo takes his hands back as if he burned himself. "So. Date?"
"I don't even know your name, fuckface," Bakugo spits out and Hitoshi laughs before he leans in close.
"You could have just asked," he whispers but Bakugo's glare only intensifies.
"I did, you asshole and you didn't tell me. So if you want to go anywhere with me, you better tell me."
"Fair enough," Hitoshi admits, because yeah, he did that, actually. "Shinsou Hitoshi."
"Troll doll, got it," Bakugo gives back and Hitoshi lets out a startled laugh.
"Do I get a first name?"
Bakugo glares at him for a moment before he moves back behind the counter, getting a mop to clean up the mess they just made.
"Be here at seven and pay for dinner and maybe you just might," he says and Hitoshi's grin is so wide it feels as if his face is going to split in two.
"Deal."
(He does get a first name. And then a phone number. And an address. And a key. Hitoshi got incredibly much, considering he went only in for a coffee.)