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It was an inevitability that this day would come. Bitty’s heart raced as the referees and players surrounded Jack on the ice. He had just taken a pretty nasty hit against the boards after his helmet had slipped off from a particularly nasty hit just before that. Whistles were blowing as the athletic trainers and the Falconer’s doctor appeared on the ice to assess him.
Jack wasn’t moving. He was breathing though. Even with all the movement and flurry around him, Bitty had trained himself to recognize respiratory pattern from a distance early in his training as a medic. It made things easy when he knew what he needed to bring into a residence. Time and space seemed to roll in slow motion as they rotated Jack’s limp body over to assess him. Restless and worrying, Bitty began pacing back and forth. An action that wasn’t unheard of for him when Jack got hurt on the ice. Ransom grabs his arm to steady him in his panic. Bitty looks up at the ice and watches as they sit Jack up. Bitty praises every deity he knows and lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.
They try to get Jack to stand which results in him scrambling on the ice and almost falling again. Instead of taking him back to the locker rooms to the examination table they lead him off the ice to the EMS standby station. Bitty perks up as they approach and grabs the stretcher readying it for Jack to sit on. Bitty internally freaks as he takes a deep breath externally. It’s going to be okay. At least he’s awake. Bitty thinks to himself. They lower Jack onto the bed and secure him to the stretcher.
“I’m pretty sure he’s got a concussion. But because of the LOC I want him evaluated at the ER just in case there’s a bleed.” The Falconer’s doctor reports to them. Bitty nods as he takes the report of the physical exam the doctor has already done. They wheel Jack out to the ambulance and load him into the back. Bitty climbs in and closes the door behind him. He sets Jack back a little and starts taking off his jersey and pads to do a more thorough assessment.
“Jack, can you hear me?” Bitty asks as he finishes pulling off Jack’s jersey. Jack groans as he tries to open his eyes, squinting into the lights on the ceiling of the ambulance. Bitty breathes a sigh of relief that he’s responsive to him. Bitty comes into Jack’s vision field, blocking the lights that had him squinting moments earlier. As Bitty is checking Jack’s pupillary response for changes to indicate a serious head injury he hears Jack let out a little sigh. Bitty backs up a bit to look at his whole face and can’t help but smile at him.
“Did it hurt?” Jack asks, dazed and obviously confused. Bitty cocks his head to the side, also confused with the question. “When you fell from heaven. You must be an angel,” Jack replies to Bitty’s confusion with a soft, easy, but cheeky grin on his face. Acting like he was the luckiest bastard on the planet for getting Bitty. Bitty snorts despite his nervousness. The fact that Jack doesn’t recognize him concerns him some. Bity is sure that there’s definitely a head injury, but he would worry about that later. At least he was talking to him. He has Jack follow his finger with his eyes which notes a normal response. His cranial nerves are also intact to inspection. Jack does have quite the swollen hematoma to the right upper forehead and a cut to his cheek. No battle signs though, which Bitty is grateful for. Means no basilar skull fracture. Bitty answers Jack’s question as he does all this.
“No Jack, it’s Bitty. Your medic friend.” Bitty reminds him with a chuckle as he continues to assess Jack’s head for injury. Jack hums at the reminder and hums again as Bitty slides his hands through his hair checking for indents, shifts, or swelling.
“That feels nice. I didn’t know angels had such soft hands,” Jack responds. Bitty shakes his head and pulls away for a minute. He needs to get his head on straight. Jack wasn’t in his right mind. He didn’t mean anything he said at the moment. Bitty continues his assessment down Jack’s neck, checking for step offs or swelling and he feels none. He helps get Jack’s pads off and asks Jack to shrug for him. He does so which Bitty is happy about. Following commands was a good thing. He finishes his chest assessment before asking more questions.
“Does anything hurt, Jack?” Bitty asks and receives a shake of the head from Jack. Despite taking such a blow to the head he was without a lot of head injury symptoms. Bitty was expecting at least a headache and some dizziness. Or nausea as well, classic signs and symptoms.
“Are you sure your head doesn’t hurt? You’re not dizzy or nauseous?” Bitty asks. Jack shakes his head again to all his questions. He is a little subdued though. More so than what Bitty considers normal for Jack.
“My head feels fuzzy. Like a poorly tuned TV. Static and white noise almost.” Jack responds as he waves his hands in front of him, as if to chase the static away. Bitty makes a mental note at how cute Jack looks batting at the air with his hands like a cat trying to get a toy.
“Do you remember what happened just now?” Bitty asks as he assesses Jack’s lungs and heart, both being normal. Jack’s face scrunches into a frown for a moment as he thinks about the question. The frown turns into displeasure as Jack continues to think and not come up with a response.
“It’s okay if you can’t remember.” Bitty comforts. “It’s normal for a head injury.” Bitty clarifies as Jack’s face falls. Jack looks at Bitty again and tilts his head. “Seriously? Am I gonna be okay? Are you my guardian angel?” Jack asks with a worrisome look on his face. Bitty smiles at him and pats his hand which Jack turns over and grabs to hold on to. Bitty’s face falters for only a half second from the contact before returning to the comforting smile he’s used to giving. Hold it together, Bits, Bitty thinks to himself.
“Yes, Jack. I think you’ll be okay,” Bitty squeezes Jack’s hand which Jack squeezes right back.
“Good, good. I want to remember the face of the angel that saved me.” Jack says dead panned as he closes his eyes to rest. Bitty has an internal breakdown at the confession. As much as he wants to believe the words falling from Jack’s lips, he can’t. His head injury is what’s saying these things, not Jack. Jack hasn’t said anything remotely close to this before now and they’d been hanging out a lot lately. Almost nightly after practice and games.
“I’m sure you won’t forget.” Bitty says, knowing that Jack would probably barely remember this later. Bitty announces to Ransom that he’s ready to go and they start for the local trauma center on the opposite side of town. Bitty takes Jack’s vitals and breathes another sigh of relief that they’re normal. Bitty starts an IV and puts up a fluid bag and sets it for KVO rate. He checks Jack neuro response again during the transport which is once again normal. Jack starts repeating questions about halfway to the hospital, asking what happened and if Bitty was an angel. Bitty chuckles at him and answers all his questions without hesitation.
By the time they make it to the hospital Bitty’s convinced that it’s just a concussion with all the signs Jack is showing. Thankfully the ER physician thinks the same thing when Bitty gives report to them on their arrival to the trauma bays. They pull Jack over to the bed and start doing their own assessments. Bitty has the nurse sign for care handoff and turns to Jack who looks like he just watched his dog get run over. His face looks so sad. Bitty walks over and, in a moment of weakness and bravery, grabs Jack’s hand to squeeze it.
“It’ll be okay Jack. They’re going to take good care of you. I promise.” Bitty comforts him by rubbing Jack’s knuckles with his thumb. Jack nods and his sad face turns in to a timid smile.
“Thanks, Angel.” Jack says as he brings his other hand up to Bitty’s face and pats it lightly. Bitty’s insides turn in a good and bad way. He wants to kiss him. He wants to bring Jack’s face close and just kiss him in comfort. Tell him everything will be okay and that he’ll be back on the ice in no time. That nothing is going to stop him from recovering. But he can’t do that. He has to remain professional. He can’t pull Jack down like that. He has a career and a life to live. Bitty doesn’t even know if he swings his way. Bitty just smiles at Jack and pat’s Jack’s hand one more time before pulling his hand and face away from Jack. If Jack’s face falters, Bitty pretends he doesn’t see it.
“You’ll be alright. Don’t give these people too much hassle, ya hear? I’ll see you at the arena real soon.” Bitty steps back as the nurse takes over and starts talking to Jack. Jack just continues to look at Bitty as he half answers the RN’s questions. Bitty puts on his compassionate smile for Jack and backs out of the room, wanting to crawl into a hole and forget the whole exchange ever happened after he’s out of Jack’s sight.
_X_
The following weeks we rough for the Falconers, and subsequently Bitty as well. With their top scorer out on recovery from his head injury they fall behind in the running for the cup. They don’t lose by much, because let’s face it Snowy is the bomb, but they have trouble keeping up with the scoring themselves. They run into several games of extended over time as a result in the weeks that pass and it’s exhausting the team.
Bitty starts treating more injuries from their exhaustion and it kills him knowing that they were missing Jack so much. His goal making skills weren’t the only thing they were missing. It was his passion for hockey and his attitude on the ice that kept their spirits up. They weren’t the only ones that need their spirits lifted. Bitty was starting to feel the fatigue and the exhaustion himself. He hadn’t been sleeping well at night. He thought initially it was the hours he was working, but he did know it had something to do with Jack.
Bitty hasn’t spoken to Jack since the day of the accident on the ice. Sure he sent him flowers and a get well card in the hospital. Then another card when he went home, but otherwise they haven’t talked a whole lot. Bitty was worrying constantly about Jack, but he didn’t want to be a bother to Jack during his recovery. He couldn’t even get up the courage to ask the others. He knew he was being silly about it. They were friends and that’s what friends did for each other. Look out for one another. It would take another week before Bitty would even consider approaching Jack. It was after a pretty gruesome fight between a Flyer forward and Marty that has Bitty asking questions. He was patching up Marty’s face when he finally got the nerve to find out what was going on.
“Are you guys alright out there?” Bitty asks at first, knowing the answer to that question already. He was just trying to break the ice. Marty was always the nicest guy to him. Bitty knew he could ask him about it and come out of the conversation not feeling like he was a burden to Marty. Marty gave a humorless bark of laughter at the question though, which gave bitty pause about actually asking.
“What’s it look like, Kid? We’re getting killed out there.” Marty replies gruffly, wincing when he stretches his face too far and bothers his bruising and swelling face. Bitty shakes his head.
“No, I know you guys are having a rough time on the ice. I just mean your team dynamic. You guys seem down lately without…” Bitty pauses, not wanting to offend Marty. The Falconers were a good team before Jack. He didn’t want to imply that they weren’t without him. In his dilemma he barely notices Marty’s smile.
“Without Jack,” Marty finishes for Bitty. Bitty nods, defeated. Instead of the indignant outrage at the idea that they needed Jack that Bitty was expecting, Marty pats his upper arm with his right hand and smiles. Bitty can tell it hurts him to do so, but he knows Marty is trying.
“You’re a good kid, Bits. You’re an even better medic. You look after us even when we’re dicks to you guys.” Bitty blushes at the compliment. Marty continues. “We’re doing the best we can without him. He’s changed our play style so much we’re struggling to remember a time without him. He’ll be back soon.” Marty sighs and pushes of his knees to stand up. Bitty backs up and turns around to grab an ice pack from his jump bag. He breaks the inner seal around the fluid and shakes it to activate the cooling beads inside. He hands the cold ice pack to Marty who thanks him for it.
“You should call him, Bits. He doesn’t get out much at the doctor’s request from the injury. I’m sure he’d like the company,” Marty winks at him and walks away, pulling the ice bag up to his face. Bitty’s jaw is on to the floor at the suggestion from Marty. Although he hasn’t seen Jack since the incident he has texted him a couple times. Granted Jack’s responses have been short, but no less genuine. Bitty grabs his phone out of his pocket and only momentarily stops to think about what he’s about to do before he opens his messenger app.
Bitty: Hey! How’re you holding up today?
Jack: Good. Not as tired as I have been. It’s a good sign, eh?
Bitty: Yes! That’s great news!
Bitty: So I know you’re still out on recovery, but I was just wondering if you’d like some company.
Bitty: I know it can be boring sitting at home alone.
Bitty: …
Bitty: Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that you’re bored.
Bitty: Or invite myself over. Shoot, how rude of me! It’s okay if you don’t want to hang out.
Jack: What time do you want to come over?
Bitty pauses for a moment. He hadn’t been expecting Jack to actually want his company. Bitty opens his calendar app to look at his schedule for the day. He flips back over to his messenger app to respond to Jack.
Bitty: How about 5:30? I’m done with clinics for the day after that.
Jack: Sounds great! See you then. ;)
Bitty stares at the winking face for about twenty minutes before Ransom finds him and hauls him back to staging. Bitty may have fibbed a little about his schedule. He was actually done with work at three thirty that day. However, his mamma taught him that you never go to someone’s home without something in tow. In this case it was a maple crusted apple pie, Jack’s favorite recently. After finishing his paperwork for the day Bitty hurries home to get ready. Bitty showers, changes and bakes the pie in record time before he leaves for Jack’s. He takes the back way to Jack’s apartment knowing traffic is going to be a nightmare on the highway. It’s alright though, he’s about twenty minute early anyway. By the time he reaches Jack’s parking garage next to his building it’s almost five thirty anyway.
Bitty practically skips down the garage walkway from excitement and slides into the stairwell, pie in one hand and get well card in the other. Sure he’s already sent one earlier in the month and one while Jack was in the hospital, but you never could have enough get well cards. It was the thought that counts, thank you very much! Bitty slows as he makes it into the lobby of the apartment complex. He nabs the elevator just as someone is leaving it and hits the button for Jack’s apartment floor. The ride seems to take forever even though he is the only one in the elevator and no stops on the way up.
When he finally makes it to Jack’s floor Bitty bails out of the elevator and books it for Jack’s door. He slows as he approaches it, smoothing out his shirt and pants before he knocks on the door. He didn’t have to wait long. It seems like he just finishes knocking and Jack is at the door, smile plastered to his face.
“Bittle! Good to see you! Come in!” Jack says, practically hauling Bitty into the room. Bitty smiles at Jack’s enthusiasm. At least he hasn’t lost that while being out of work Bitty thought. Jack smiles as he notices the pie in Bitty’s hand. He takes the pie into the kitchen and places it on the island as he goes to grab for plates.
“Bits, you didn’t have to make that. You know I can’t practice.” Jack chirps at Bitty. Bitty blushes at the omission of thought. He totally forgot that Jack was probably on a more strict diet now that he couldn’t train while he was recovering. Oops!
“Sorry Jack! I’ll just take it back and see if the other guys want some.” Bitty tries to chirp back as he reaches for the pie. Jack quickly pulls the pie out of Bitty’s reach and holds it protectively. Bitty laughs hysterically. It was probably the most animated he’s seen Jack ever. It was refreshing knowing Jack was doing so well.
“I guess that’s a no then,” Bitty says through his laughter. Jack nods and places the pie back onto the island. He reaches into a nearby drawer for a pie server and a knife to cut it. Jack cuts out two pieces and plates them before serving Bitty his piece first. Bitty waits for Jack to get his own and watches as Jack takes the first bite. He looks pleased with the pie which makes Bitty sigh in relief. He digs into his own plate as they catch up on events: Jack’s recovery and Bitty’s calls and clinics at the arena. He tells Jack about Marty’s incident earlier that day and smacks his mouth with his hand after it fell from his mouth.
“That’s unlike Marty. I mean, he can handle himself, but he doesn’t normally get into fights like that. He knows his age is making it hard for him to play.” Jack assesses, frowns at the news and Bitty wishes he hadn’t said anything. Before he knew it Bitty was relaying the whole event to Jack, including their conversation about Jack.
“He says he can’t remember a time without you on the team. They’re so used to your energy, Jack. They really do miss you. They need you.” Bitty confesses. He hates that he sounds so open and raw when he talks about it, about him in general. He wasn’t even the one playing. He was just the medic on the side lines. What did he know about hockey? Jack smiles at him anyway which makes Bitty’s stomach flip nicely.
“Thanks, Bits. I mean it. It means a lot to me that you and Marty think that,” Jack replies. He takes his empty plate to the sink and Bitty feels like the conversation is over. Bitty goes to stand up and walk his own plate to the sink when Jack is right there in front of him, towering over him. Bitty stops short and looks up at him and he only just then understands how Jack felt in the back of that ambulance a month ago. Jack was angelic in the light of his recessed kitchen lighting. Bitty swallows thickly before giving his plate to Jack. He smiles at Bitty and takes the plate, placing it in the sink without looking, his focus on Bitty’s face never wavering.
“Can I ask you something, Bits?” Jack asks softly, hesitant. Bitty’s stomach drops out. What could Jack want to talk about that would make him this hesitant? Bitty hopes he doesn’t want to talk about his injury. He is not looking forward to that conversation.
“Of course, ask away!” Bitty says with a little too much enthusiasm as he takes a step back and walks into the living room to sit on the couch. Jack follows suit and sits on the same couch, opposite Bitty. Jack seems even more nervous sitting down. It’s easier to see his nervous twitch in his hands as he tries to hold them still in his lap. Bitty tries not to stare, tries not to analyze Jack like he does his patients, but it’s a bad habit. A reflex of his job.
“Did I say anything to you the night of my concussion?” Jack asks without preamble. Bitty is a little taken aback at the suddenness of the question, but should have been expecting it. This was more like the Jack he knew. Right to the point. But Bitty needs a little time to come up with something to say. He couldn’t embarrass Jack by telling him he was calling him his guardian angel and how much that means to Bitty.
“Like what? You said a lot that night, Jack. You repeated yourself a lot too. Of course that’s all a part of the concussion symptoms.” Bitty nervously rambles. Jack shook his head and stops Bitty with a hand on his knee. Bitty halts immediately.
“No, I mean did I say anything to you that night? Like meant for you.” Jack clarifies. Bitty swallows hard. This is it. This is where everything goes to hell in a hand basket or becomes everything Bitty has ever wanted. He’s liked Jack for so long he never thought this day would come. Of course, he was also dreading it. If this was going to be the end of things he might as well go out with a bang than a fizzle.
“Um, yeah. You… You asked me if I was an angel. Multiple times. And you called me Angel when I left.” Bitty answers. His cheeks flush and he looks down at his hands for a moment before looking up and letting it all out. Word vomit just flowing out of him.
“To be honest Jack I can’t let this go on anymore. I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time now. Every time you came to see me for one of your clumsy injuries I fell a little more for you and your charm. You’ve completely changed my outlook on hockey and even medicine in general. You’ve turned my world upside down at home too. I can’t go one day without seeing you on TV playing hockey or doing an interview or one of those silly player oriented segments. And when you got hurt I was freaking out on the inside. Not one patient has ever made me feel the way you made me feel that night. I was scared. Completely frightened that you were hurt so bad that you might have had permanent damage. Afraid that maybe you wouldn’t remember me. And although my training kept me professional and capable of treating you, I was still scared. I didn’t want to leave you there that night. I wanted to stay and comfort you so bad. I wanted you to know that everything was going to be okay and that we’d get you recovered in no time. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t get beyond the patient/provider confidentiality and do it. I couldn’t drag you down with me like that.” Bitty confesses in what feels like one breath. He’s huffing by the time he finishes. He tries catching his breath as he looks away, not wanting to see the disappointment he knows that must be there on Jack’s beautiful face. He hears Jack sigh and Bitty braces for the blow.
“I’m so happy to hear that.” Jack says simply. Bitty is so dumbfounded by the statement he cricks his neck from the lightning speed snapping of his head to look at Jack’s face. There Jack is, closer than he was before, smiling like a loon right in front of him.
“Elaborate,” is all Bitty can get out as Jack just chuckles at the demand.
“I’m glad you’ve felt like I do. I can barely remember what happened that night. I’ve been dreaming a lot lately that I did say something and have been worried that you were avoiding seeing me because I embarrassed you. I’m sorry, I should have asked you over sooner, but I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Jack confesses. Bitty is still dumbstruck from the initial confession, but is reactive enough to Jack’s hand on his knee. Bitty focuses on Jack face again which now seems a little worrisome around the smile he has. Bitty clears his throat and tries to reboot his brain.
“Oh,” Bitty once again displays his fluent vocabulary of words for Jack. Instead of speaking though, Bitty throws caution to the wind and rises to his knees so that he is only slightly higher than Jack’s head. He slides into Jack’s personal space and gives him ample time to change his mind and push Bitty away. When Jack doesn’t push him away, Bitty leans down and seals his mouth to Jack’s in the hottest kiss he’s ever had in his life. Jack groans under Bitty’s mouth and places his hand on Bitty’s hips to steady him. Bitty parts his lips and licks Jack’s bottom lip, requesting entrance into the hot cavern of his mouth. Jack complies quickly and practically drags Bitty’s tongue into his mouth as he drags Bitty’s body on top of his own. He leans back into the arm of the couch as Bitty devours Jack’s mouth with his kiss.
“Crisse!” Jack mumbles through their kissing as Bitty’s hands wander over the forward’s chest. Bitty pulls away a moment later, their breaths intermingling as they lay there on the couch, their foreheads together and eyes locked, smiles on their faces. Bitty can feel Jack’s heart racing under his hand from just his kiss and it makes Bitty smile wider.
“You want me to check your vitals while I’m here?” Bitty chirps at him. Jack groans in frustration and chuckles despite himself. He loops his arms around Bitty’s waist and pulls him closer, flush to his body from chest to calves.
“Later, I want to check you for once,” Jack chirps back and takes Bitty’s lips as he rolls them on the couch into another kiss.