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Caesar had a secret.
A dark secret.
If word got out about this, her reputation would be ruined.
There's only one thing on her mind at this current moment… She needs to calm the fuck down.
A moment of peace to settle the whirlwind of screaming voices in her head. A moment of peace to quell these confusing thoughts.
Could she speak to someone about this secret of hers? …Well, maybe. But who?! Lighter? No, he was a guy, he wouldn't get it, not to mention the amount of love letters he was drowning in everyday.
How about Piper? Another no. She needed someone who wouldn't lecture her about the ‘good ol’ days’ and ‘how simple it used to be’.
How about Luc- NO! Anyone but her! Actually, she should make a mental note to make sure she avoids Lucy at all costs for the rest of the day!
Well, now what?! The only people who are actually around to talk to are Pulchra and Burnice. It's not like she could speak to either one in private, given how they were basically joined at the hip… or tail?
Speaking of the Sapphics of Calydon…
“Pulchra, when are you gonna give me my tail brushing permissions back? It's been foreverrrrr…” Burnice, leaning against a brick wall in a small alleyway around the corner from Cheesetopia, was desperately pleading with everything she had for just one single scratch of Pulchra's tail, as usual.
Pulchra, on the other hand, was having none of it. The thiren was sat crossed legged on the sun-baked ground with two razor-gripped revolvers by her knees, polishing and maintaining every inch of her firearms with robotic precision. The last thing she needed while oiling down the barrel or keeping her razors edged was a tipsy pyromaniac's face buried in her tail.
The ‘Kitty’ set her revolvers back down on a small cloth mat and covered them up to protect them from the sand's influence, glaring up at Burnice with an evil eye. “‘You still going on about that?! I told you, I'm not letting you brush my fur until you prove you can behave yourself!” Her glare refixed itself onto her girlfriends crimson red eyes with a jut, silently reinforcing her point.
“Awwww… But… B-But K-Kitty…”
“Stop, stop, stop!” Pulchra yelled out with a flinch, diverting her gaze from Burnice, almost like she'd just looked directly at the sun. “Don't give me the puppy eyes, please!”
“Haha!” The blonde leaned down to her level and stopped her suddenly menacing grin right beside the cat's face, glaring deep into her emerald eyes. “Looks like I've found your weakness… Pulchra."
“B-Burnice…” Pulchra barely was able to whisper, her words coming out more as a whimper. “Y-You’re… k-kinda creeping me out…”
Silence… Only the mercenary's thumping heart could be heard in her ears, rhythmically pounding as her face grew hot and her reflexes screamed at her to go for the one thing that kept her safe. Her clawed left hand was the only thing not suddenly paralyzed by this sense of overwhelming fear as her mind is barely able to send the signal for it to do what the rest of her body is unwilling. Under the cloth sheet masking her guns stashed another item, one she'd relied on for absolute protection for as long as she could remember.
“You aren't going for your mask, are you, Pulchra?” Burnice's whispered words rang hollow throughout the dim alleyway as her gaze pierced Pulchra's very soul. A hand suddenly set itself onto her exposed, furred shoulder and, once Burnice fully leaned into the remaining space she had… began to laugh?! “Noooo, I'm sorry, Kitty! I was just tryna give you a little fright, not have you run with your tail between your legs! Ahaha!”
WAS ALL OF THIS A JOKE TO HER?! “Burnice! Y-You… Argh! Don't do that to me! You actually scared the crap outta me! I thought you'd finally gone and fucking lost it!” Relief, anger, exhaustion, whatever Pulchra was feeling was alien even to herself, but strangely oh so familiar. What she wanted out of this evening was a nice, calm session of maintaining her firearms, not a fight or flight situation with her fucking girlfriend! …How the hell did she fall for this maniac again…? “Burnice, come here!” The orange furred thiren ordered, standing and pointing at her feet like she was commanding a dog.
And as if she was a dog whisperer, Burnice stood to attention with her head tilted in confusion, furrowing both brows at Pulchra's sudden outburst. “You aren't gonna extend my brushing ban, are you?” Burnice asked with the single most hollow voice Pulchra had heard in her entire life. She'd heard Hollow Raiders beg for their lives with more joy than she had now.
“No, I won't extend the brushing ban, but” A curled, clawed finger beckoned Burnice closer. “you can start with an apology.”
“Oooh, an apology! I'm amazing at these, you'll see!” With Pulchra's face between her hands, and the existent urge to scratch her fur just barely being suppressed, Burnice pulled her face closed and gave her a quick kiss to the cheek, giggling to herself as her Kitty's face lit up with embarrassment. “Was that good?!” She beamed, Pulchra's blushing face indicative of her victory.
“T-That's it? That was pathetic.” As if she'd ever say it herself, but Pulchra so desperately wanted one thing from Burnice in this instant, and that thing was…
“Oh! You want another kiss?! Or, maybe you want two more? Or three? Or five? Or ten? Twenty? Fifty? One hundred? One thousand?! Or-.” She suddenly gasped, still holding Pulchra's face in her hands. “Or a million!”
“Three will work…” She sighed.
“Three kisses coming right up!” First to the cheek. Second to the forehead. And, finally, the third to the lips. Burnice pulled back after her brief showering of kisses with that ever so familiar grin of hers, skipping and bouncing around the alley like she was gliding on air itself. “My girlfriend's the greatest! I love her so much! She's super fluffy and cute and fluffy and-.”
“S-Shut it, airhead! I don't need you prancing about while yelling about how ‘fluffy’ I am.” Clearly uncomfortable with this much direct praise, Pulchra awkwardly itched at her neck as she glanced around the alley. That didn't stop Burnice's thunder though! …Or would it be fire? Eh, who knows. All Burnice knew for sure is that everyone needed to know how awesome Pulchra was!
“Awww! C’mon, Pulchra! You didn't like my compliments?! They were so diverse and loving! If someone called me those things, my heart would melt!” She was still endlessly bounding around her in a circle, hopping and skipping to her heart's content. Clearly not to Pulchra's though.
“Huh?! ‘Diverse’?! You literally called me ‘fluffy’ twice! Sometimes I feel like a ball of fluff to you instead of, y’know, Pulchra!” She yelled, kneeling down and fitting her mask back under the cloth.
With what might've been a throwaway insult to Burnice's attention span to Pulchra was nothing but to the pyromaniac, halting her dead in her tracks in front of the thiren. Once she stood up in confusion at the flame-brain’s sudden silence, she found her left arm gently lifted and held out straight, Burnice tugging her closer into what was some kind of embrace? She wasn't really sure what it was, but Burnice was slowly rocking back and forth with her right hand in Pulchra's left and the other set on her furry hip… Oh, wait a second… She was slow dancing with her… “B-Burnice?” She was barely able to stammer out.
“You nervous?” The blonde leant closer to where their noses almost touched, hitching Pulchra's breath in her throat. “Have you done this before, Pulchra?”
“O-Once…” She whispered in response, barely audible to even herself, but Burnice heard it…
“With who?” Even amidst the conversation, Burnice gently spun Pulchra in a pirouette and leant her back into her arm, leaning forward herself and smiling. “Whoever you did it with must've taught you good. You're a natural.” That piercing, paralyzing gaze from earlier felt less like a blazing inferno of death and destruction and more of the gentle crackling of a fireplace on a cold winter's evening. She didn't know how she did it, but she was smitten by a girl who she felt like was moments away from killing her in their first meeting… Just what drew her towards such a force in the first place…? “Pulchra?”
“Y-Yes?” She said, suddenly snapped out of her trance.
“Who taught you how to dance? You haven't trodden on my toes… yet.” Burnice’s beaming smile was still as bright as ever, but more gentle and less intense to behold in this quiet moment between the two. It's almost like she had an internal dial she'd turned down just for the occasion… Just for her.
“W-Who taught me to dance?” She stammered once again, seeing a slow nod from Burnice at the top of her vision. “I think you already know who.”
“I thought so.” Her hands grip on Pulchra's own gently squeezed, but her expression or actions other than it made no acknowledgement of what she'd done whatsoever. A silent, comforting touch of knowing. Her other hand that rested on Pulchra's hip began to make its way around to her back as she moved in closer, arching her backwards and closing their dance with a kiss.
Burnice's embrace held for a half dozen seconds in silence, the pair keeping their kiss held for as long as the other would have them, until, finally, Pulchra pulled away, still obviously stunned at what'd just occurred. “B-Burnice, I…” A lone, leather finger set itself over her newly painted lips, some of Burnice's lipstick rubbing off on it, making her softly giggle to herself.
“Shhh…” She leaned in and placed two more soft kisses to her right cheek, taking the opportunity to slowly run her right hand through her tail. “You don't have to say anything, Kitty.”
“W-Well, I'm gonna say something anyway…” She spoke despite her girlfriend's shushing. “T-Thank you, Burnice… I lo-... I'll make it up to you, promise. Whatever you want me to do, just name it and I'll do it.”
“Ok! Tell me what you were about to say before you cut yourself off!” …God, damn it…
“Ugh… I love you…”
“Yay!” Burnice beamed, leaping into the air and kissing Pulchra on the cheek when she landed. Pulchra never knew what it'd feel like to have been effectively plunging attacked with a kiss, but now she did. “I love you too, Pulchra! Yay! Cat wife!”
“I-I am not your ‘cat wife'! We aren't even married! G-Get your hands off m-... Wait.” As if she'd commanded the shift in the air herself, Pulchra raised her hand to halt the pyromaniac in her tracks, working the instant she did.
“What's wrong?” She asked, glancing around the alley.
“I feel like we're being…” Her hunter's gaze snapped onto her target in a fraction of a second, a lone stalker, hiding from the shadows from behind the alley's entrance. “Watched!”
"Ah!” The perpetrator yelped, crawling out of their hiding spot to reveal…
“Boss?!”
“Caesar! Hello!”
“H-Hey guys! I was gonna ask you two something, b-but when I saw that s-super romantic m-moment you had, and you started t-to s-slow dance, I… I-I just-.” And now she's bawling her eyes out… Nice.
“Awwww! Caesar, come over here! We'll listen, won't we, Kitty?!” The blonde turned her gaze towards her companion with a knowing look, nodding back at Caesar in agreement.
“Sure. Just sit down and say whatever you came here to say, boss.” Pulchra pulled up an empty box for her boss to sit down on, jumping back onto a large crate behind her afterwards. Burnice sat to the left of her on the same crate and immediately wrapped her arm around her, the pair looking down on their subject from atop their wooden throne. “Alright, now that you're no longer all weepy, tell us what you need. Me and flame-brain over here have time to run a job for you if need be.”
“N-No, it ain't a job, Pulchra. It's… Damn, this is embarrassing…” She didn't need to tell them anyway, made obvious by her incessant itching of the back of her head. “It's about L-Lu-.”
“Love?!” Burnice blurted out, nearly pushing Pulchra straight off the crate.
“Watch it, dumbass…”
“L-Love? Uhhh… Y-Yeah… I-I guess it is about love.” Caesar wasn't anywhere near ready to start divulging all the juicy details about what exactly happened this morning, but if she was incredibly sneaky (vague), then she might be able to come out of this encounter alive… Or with a shred of dignity remaining, it was hard to tell really.
“Oooh! What kind of love?! Do you have a boyfriend?!” While Caesar was by far and away the designated romantic of the gang, Burnice was still as enthusiastic as ever, no matter the topic. “Who is he?! Is he cute?! Oh! Is it Wise?!”
“W-W-What?! N-No, no, no! I-I don't have a b-boyfriend, Burnice. It's… It's complicated, alright.” She shrunk smaller and smaller with every word she said as her romantic Overlord's judged her from atop their wooden tower, Pulchra's doubting side eye and Burnice's wild, mildly terrifying stare shaking her to her core. “A-And it ain't Wise! I thought he and L-Lighter were… Y’know…” To get her point across, Caesar takes her metal and organic hands and rubs her palms together, simulating… something?
“Huh?” Pulchra blinked. “What does this mean?” The thiren emulated her strange palm rubbing hand sign with a raised brow. Whatever it meant, it had something to do with Lighter and Wise. Or, at least, that's what she thinks.
“No, you ain't getting it, Pulchra.” Caesar held up her hands vertically and, instead of rubbing them together, suddenly slapped them together, looking up at the pair as if she'd perfectly communicated her thoughts. “They're like that!”
“Uhhh…” Burnice awkwardly itched her cheek before smirking to herself. “They're having gay sex?”
“N-NO! K-KISSING! LOOK! HAND RUBBING AGAINST HAND! IT'S THEIR FACES, BECAUSE THEY'RE KISSING!” After damn near screaming at her, Caesar turned her flustered gaze away and rested her right hand over her mouth, mumbling incoherently to herself while refusing to refix eye contact on either of them. “...It's not gay sex…” Well, nearly incoherent.
“You heard her, Burnice.” Pulchra said, a smug expression writ across her face. “Its not gay sex.”
“Stop saying that! Stop saying that!” And now Caesar was in a full-on temper tantrum.
“Ahahaha! Look, Pulchra! She's sooo mad! Ahaha!” Either oblivious or apathetic, Burnice just laughed at Caesar's misery alongside her furry companion, quite painfully patting her on the shoulder as she fully lost herself to a laughing fit.
“Alright, Burnice, damn. You tryna break my shoulder or what?” Pulchra swatted the hand that patted. “It wasn't that funny.”
Defeated. Caesar didn't know the feeling well, but even she could pinpoint the emotion. She'd just experienced one of the most confusing, heart pounding, blissful moments of her life, and the only people she felt like she could turn to were taunting her. Well, they weren't taunting her problem, but they sure as shit weren't making this easy… It's not like she's surprised, honestly. Burnice is, well, Burnice. And Pulchra thrives off of little, inconsequential comments that somehow seem to spike whoever their aimed ats blood pressure. A passive aggressive mercenary and… Burnice… Regardless, if there's one thing Caesar had in them that most wouldn't, it's trust, and there aren't many people she trusted to speak to more than them. “Y-You guys gonna listen to me now? I can go find Piper if you're just gonna tease me the whole time…”
“Awwww! We're sorry, Caesar! Go on, tell us what's been happening.” Finally, fucking finally they were standing to attention.
“Yeah, sorry for stalling, boss. Tell us about the job.”
Burnice flicked Pulchra on the back of the head with a hearty chuckle, the thirens face burning up as she turned to look at her. “She said it's not a job, silly!”
“Burnice, you-! Oh… Oh, right, sorry boss.” Suddenly, her ears perked up when the realisation hit her. She said it was about love… Ugh, god! On the one hand, she'd love to stay and quietly listen in on all the juicy gossip Caesar was about to spill, but on the other hand, she'd prefer to do this in the shadows, or behind a wall, unseen. If she's going to be questioned and quizzed about things like, ‘my crush doesn't love me back, what should I do?!’, or, ‘Lucy burnt all my romance manga in a fit of rage and now I can't return them on time!’ she'd probably lose it for good. It was probably best to just get up, walk around the corner and listen in on the two talking. “Well, if it ain't a joooob…” Pulchra droned as she hopped off the box. “I'm outta here. These mushy feelings conversations aren't exactly my forte, y’know. Sorry, boss. I'm sure Burnice will be a great help. She loves to run her mouth twenty-four-seven anyway.”
“Kitty, come back! You're such a good listener!” Burnice cried out, arm stretched out to the thiren.
Pulchra stopped dead in her tracks after she spoke, only turning her head halfway so their gaze just met. “You really mean that?” She said softly.
“Yeah! You might not be super duper vocal, but you listen to me talk about whatever! You don't talk over me, nor do you interrupt. C’mon, Caesar needs someone like you!”
Silence… Pulchra, with her jacket swaying gently in the breeze, began to slowly tap her heel against the ground, each tap getting slightly faster and faster until she let out a loud, defeated sigh and turned around, walking back and sitting back down on their crate with her head held low. “Remember when I said I'd make it up to you earlier?” She mumbled into her sleeve.
“Yeah?”
“I'm making it up to you, ok? I'm only doing this because of the dance…” Clearly uncomfortable, Pulchra shuffled about the crate in silence until, finally, she looked back down at Caesar and flicked her wrist as if to say ‘Well? Get in with it.’.
“C-Can I start?” Caesar said meekly. The pair atop the tower nodded in unison, one clearly much happier than the other. “R-Right. S-So, I guess I'll start at the beginning. It was l-late last night and I was gettin’ into bed, but then I heard a knock at the door and-.”
“Oooh! Spooky!” The pyromaniac was clearly right about one thing. Pulchra was definitely the listener, and she was the talker.
“N-No, it ain't a ghost story.” Caesar said with a light shake of her head, unaware she was being teased. “Umm, anyway, so when I opened the door I saw-.”
“Oh! Can I guess?!” Burnice basically yelled, raising her right hand to the sky. Before Caesar could ask, she pointed directly down towards her and called out her answer. “Lucy! Lucy, Lucy, Lucy! It's always Lucy with you! And with Lucy, it's always Caesar!”
“Y-Yeah, it was Luce.” The green haired girl turned her gaze towards her boots and tapped her heels together, the mere memory making her cheeks light up. “S-She was saying that-.”
“Kitty, this is so romantic! This is where the love aspect comes in! Caesar gets a late night call from her lover and-.” Before Burnice can rub or clap her palms together for another second, Caesar bolts up from her box with a look of sheer wrath writ upon her face, accidentally toppling the box she'd been sat on over.
“T-There was n-no-. T-There was none of this! No clapping!” She emulated her unfortunate, prior miming of Lighter and the manager kissing with both hands at the duo, still looking like she's moments from bursting a vessel. “A-And she ain't my lover!” After a deep, heavy sigh, Caesar flipped her box back up and sat down once more, burying her blushing face in her hands. “...I don't think she's my lover, at least…”
While Burnice was laughing her ass off at the spectacle before her, Pulchra was deep in thought. The thiren leant forwards and rested her chin in her hand, assuming a thinker's position to piece this puzzle together. “So, Caesar was about to go to bed, and Lucy came to her to tell her… something… Lucy is usually a very logical, calculating person, but all that goes out the window when it comes to that embarrassingly obvious crush of hers. Whatever she was going to tell Caesar probably has something to do with prior context I'm not aware of. Regardless, she and Caesar probably spoke inside her house, most likely on her bed, seeing as her house is rather cramped. Once on the bed, Lucy most likely revealed what she wanted to tell her. This could've been a late night job offer, or a change of plans in scheduling… Hmmm, curiously, Caesar did neglect to shut down the idea of any ‘rubbing’ happening, only ‘clapping’. If ‘rubbing’ is equal to kissing, then that's definitely what happened. Lucy most likely confessed and they had a sloppy make-out sesh on her bed. Given her rather loud mumbling about how she ‘doesn’t think she's her lover, at least’, I see no other conclusion about what transpired.”
“Pulchra?”
“Yeah, Burnice?”
“You're thinking out loud again…”
“Oh…”
This was a nice alleyway, for what it's worth. Maybe there's a nice corner to crawl into and die in? Perhaps behind the boxes?
“S-Sloppy… make-out sesh?” Caesar, the almighty Overlord and most feared woman in all the Badlands, slowly set herself down off her hollow box and fitted it onto her head like a helmet, blocking out the world once and for all… This was nice… As long as she never shows her face again, she'd never have to confront the fact that Pulchra had just perfectly read aloud what had transpired, like she'd recorded their entire exchange in secret… Even though she missed one crucial, world endingly embarrassing detail, only one that Caesar and Lucy knew…
“Uhhh… What's happening? I'm confused?” Burnice said, scratching the back of her head while the two next to her quietly dissolved into the ground. “H-How about you continue, Caesar! It was getting really interesting! And it's a ghost story too! Who doesn't love a spooky story before bed!”
Reluctantly lifting the box off her head to reveal the single reddest face Burnice had ever seen, not to mention this is a woman who burns people alive, Caesar squeaked… something. It wasn't exactly words, more of an attempt than anything.
Pulchra finally released her face from her palms and looked back up at Caesar, forcing a half-smile at the Overlord. “J-Joking, b-boss… I was joking…”
“Mhhmm…” Caesar murmured. “Y-Yep… Umm, I'll c-continue… S-So, Lucy was the one at my door and she wanted to talk about something. After I let her in, we…” Caesar's story trailed off into nothing when the memory came back to her in full, Pulchra slowly sliding her hand over Burnice's mouth before she could say another word. “We went to my room, ‘cus she wanted to speak in private, and she said… Man, I'm not sure if I should say, actually.”
“If you're willing to tell us in the first place, we promise not to tell anyone, boss.” Pulchra said, staving off the last hints of embarrassment from her recent blunder.
“Mhhmm! Mhhmmhmhhhmhgh!” The blonde mumbled into Pulchra's glove.
“Alright… She was talking to me on my bed because she had a crazy ass nightmare about the Tour de Inferno. It sounded really bad, and awful, and scary, and… Y-You get the idea. So, she was on my bed, crying about this vivid nightmare, and I just… I don't know… I guess I realised that she means a whole lot more to me than I realised, and I told her that, y’know. I told Lucy that the last and only person I wanted to look at before I thought I was gonna die was… her… After I admitted that, we both went all quiet like and, umm… We kissed… God, it was so nice. I wish I could go back to that moment and relive it all over again…” Caesar diverted her attention back down to her feet and sighed, wiping her jacket sleeve against her suddenly welling up eyes. “A-After that, I offered her a place to sleep for the night and-.”
“Oh, was that in your bed?!” Uh oh. Pulchra must've let her hand slip without realising it.
“Y-Yeah. We slept in the same bed and, u-umm, ‘c-cuddled’ all night long. Man, she was so warm, and soft and… Wow…”
“This sounds all good, really it does, but if it was all sunshine and rainbows, then why are you telling us?” Pulchra asked, shuffling forwards on her crate.
“B-Because… Because I got scared… When it was morning, I woke up before her and saw her sleeping next to me. Just seeing her like that, all peaceful in my bed, still holding onto me in my sleep… It scared me.” Her voice trembled in her throat as each word got harder and harder to force out. “I've read tons about this whole romance thing, but doing it myself is way scarier than I thought it'd be! I didn't even know I liked girls until last night, and now I think I have a girlfriend?! I don't know how to do this, no less with a girl! Lucy's way more experienced with this whole relationship thing anyway, I don't wanna mess up some obvious shit and ruin it!”
“Caesar…” Burnice jumped off her crate and knelt down beside the Overlord, setting a hand of pure reassurance on her shoulder. “You have to talk to Lucy about these things, not us. She's the one who should be hearing all of this.”
“Burnice's right, boss.” Pulchra followed suit and leant down next to Caesar opposite Burnice, keeping her hands to herself. “We all know Lucy can get pretty mad at you, but she loves you. If you tell her how you feel, I'm sure she'll understand. Right, Burnice?”
“Yeah!” She cheered. “Tell Lucy what you told us, and you'll be golden! C'mon, let's go find her!” The pair nodded to each other and raised Caesar off the ground and patted her on the back, softly smiling up to her.
“A-Alright, I'll do it! B-But, where are we gonna find Luc-.”
“CAESAR! WHERE HELL ARE YOU?!” And, right on cue, a shrill voice shouted out in the centre of Blazewood, echoing throughout what felt like the entire Outer Ring. “CAESAR, YOU STUPID BOAR! COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!” Was she just yelling, or was she pissed? Caesar didn't know, but her instincts were telling her one thing, over and over in her head.
“H-Hide me behind the crates, now!” The second she tried to scramble back behind the boxes, Pulchra and Burnice halted in front of her and pushed her back out of her hiding spot in a team effort, Caesar's protests catching Lucy's ear.
Turning the corner, Lucy, helmetless and draped in sweat, marched over to Caesar with a wild, furious look in her eye, the kind of look that only revealed itself after their most heated arguments, or most humiliating of duels. “Caesar!” The shorter blonde yelled, curling her trembling left fist into a ball. “Where the hell have you been! I've looked everywhere! I searched your house, my house, Cheesetopia, the market, the abandoned gas station, the-. I SEARCHED EVERYWHERE! I was this close to getting Red Moccus to come with me into the Hollow to look for you, that's how desperate I was!” Her heel stomped the ground with earth shattering force with every example she listed, a vein on her forehead moments from bursting. “So, Caesar, I'll ask again… Where the hell have you been?!”
“I was… I took my bike in the morning while you were asleep and drove to the city…” Just admitting it to not only Lucy, but to herself stung more than she thought. How the hell could she have been so selfish, so cowardly? “I'm sorry, Lucy… I really am… I ran away…”
“Argh! Don't you get it?! Don't you get why I'm so angry?!” Now that she mentioned it, Caesar did notice that Lucy had kept her hands behind her back this entire time… Once the Overlord and Advisors gaze met, Lucy, hands still trembling with rage, handed her a small rectangular box wrapped in pink and white paper, a neat, red bowtie covering the centre. “H-Here…” She mumbled, gaze averted to the ground. “J-Just take it…”
As carefully as she could to make sure it wasn't a trap, Caesar took the present out of her second in command's hands and tore it open with no mercy, an equally pink volume revealed underneath. “I-Is this a volume of a… romance manga?” She squeaked from behind the book.
“Of course it is, dumbass!” Lucy took a bold step forward and snarled, immediately taking a deep breath in and out after her outburst. “I-It's a gift… I was going to give it to you when we both awoke, but you ran off…”
“God, I'm so sorry, Lucy. I was just… I remembered what you said when we were cuddling, like how you never want to lose me ever again, and want to be with me forever, and I… I want it too, y’know, but I thought, for a split second when I woke up, that I was too weak. I was too weak at the Tour, and I’m too weak now. If I've done anything, it's proven that I'm not made for this whole ‘love’ thing. Maybe I should stick to it all being a fantas-.” Before Caesar could say another word, a loud slap rang out throughout the town, leaving a bright red mark over the Overlord's right cheek. “O-Ow! What was that for?!”
“I HATE YOU!” The smaller woman roared from the depths of her chest. “I hate you, Caesar King!’
“Well, I know that ain't true, Lucy. You were kissin’ me all over last nigh-.” A single raised hand shut her down just before she could continue. “Damn, Luce. At least let me finish! This is the second time I've had to tell you tha-.” Caesar dodged back before another cheek rending slap could hit her, exploding into her usual, beaming laughter at one of Lucy's misfortunes.
“N-NOT ANOTHER WORD!” The short one yelled.
“Alright, alright, I give up! You got me, Luce! Haha!” Her simmered but still warm smile looked back at Lucy's expression of pure malice, but, even after their usual fighting, she couldn't stay mad at her.
“Ugh… Promise me this, boar. Never talk down to yourself ever again, ok? Only I'm allowed to insult you! Me, and only me! Nobody else!” The smaller woman took another step closer and, instead of raising her hand for another slap, wrapped her arms around the Overlord's body. “Next time you're scared, talk to me about it. I really wanted to go to Lumina with you, but you ran off without even a sign… It's ok to feel scared. It's normal. But, please, speak to me. You didn't even return my texts…”
“S-Sorry…” Caesar sighed, burying her face into Lucy's locks. “As your g-girlfriend, I promise I'll do right by you. Hey, I'll return your texts right now!” She stashed the volume into her jacket and, with her prosthetic wrapped around her Advisor and the other on her phone, scrolled and scrolled through the endless list of messages Lucy had sent to her throughout the day, stopping on the lone image amidst a sea of words. “An image? Hold on, give it some time to load and I'll-. OH! …Yeah, that's getting saved for later…”
“You're so silly…” The short one chuckled to herself, tightening her hold on her girlfriend.
“Hey, you wanna read this manga with me?” Caesar put her phone away after taking one last look at this divine selfie Lucy had sent her and scrounged the manga from back out of her jacket, pulling the shorter one back and showing it to her. “If you bought it, it's gotta be good, right?”
“It seems you've finally come to your senses, Caesar. I'll take you up on this offer, but only on one condition!”
“Huh? What's that?” Caesar asked, tilting her head.
“Promise you'll never leave me again…”
A cold, metal hand laid itself on her shoulder, Caesar radiant smile looking down on Lucy. “I promise you, Lucy, I'll never leave you ever again. Not for anything. Even a race for the entire Outer Ring.”
The pair took a step back from each other and smiled until Lucy hand waved at Caesar to sit on the crates behind her. “Well? Go on. Get comfy. I intend on a full reading experience after all. And you'll be voicing all the characters!”
“Nuh uh! No way!” The green haired girl protested, pulling Lucy into her lap atop the boxes and giving her a deep kiss on the cheek. “You'll be reading the love interests lines, and I'll read the guys, deal?”
“Ugh, fine, fine! If it'll make you shut up, then I suppose I'll concede on this one little thing.” She snuggled up to the larger woman and rested her head against her shoulder, Caesar's arm wrapping itself around her entire body… This was it… This was all she ever wanted for all these years… Being held in her lover's embrace, indulging in some cheesy, low stakes romance manga that Caesar would no doubt make a fool of herself trying to read aloud could only be described in her mind one way… Their happy ending…
From behind a nearby, metal corner that was literally just an entrance to someone's house, Pulchra and Burnice watched on, turning to each other with giddy smiles. “That was adorable! Did you see that, Kitty?!”
“Of course I saw it! I watched the entire thing unfold right next to you like a cree-. I mean, like a scout performing reconnaissance.” Pulchra coughed into her fist.
“Oh! You know what we should do, Pulchra?!” Oh, god… Anything but a Burnice idea…
“What…?” She said with a shocking lack of enthusiasm as the pyromaniac took her hand into hers and led her to the centre of town.
“Let's watch a romance movie together! Come on, it'll be fun!” She nudged and nudged and nudged until, finally, the hissing cat next to her relented.
“Ok, ok! …Let's go back to your place and watch something… You better pick an actual romance movie this time! I refuse to watch another action movie and have you rewind it every second to stare at the explosions!”
“Whaaaaat?! Noooo! That's crazy, Kitty! I'd never do that!”
Unfortunately for Pulchra…
They weren't going to watch a romance movie…
Just as she expected…
“Alright, fine… Let's go home, Burnice…”