Archive of Our Own ^beta

What do you do when everything you’ve ever known turns out to be a lie?

As they walk on and on through the night, Daichi wonders how Kuroo must’ve felt. How did he react, when he first found out? How did he cope all on his own, unable to trust anyone? Kuroo, who must’ve felt so alone. Just the thought of it makes Daichi’s heart ache.

Without a word, he reaches over and slips his hand over Kuroo’s, intertwining their fingers. He receives a questioning look, but merely shakes his head with a smile. Kuroo shifts closer in response, pressing their arms together, and Daichi hopes that the warmth that passes between them reminds Kuroo that he’s not alone anymore. That they’re in this together now. That no matter what, Daichi’s on his side - and whatever happens from here on out, they’ll be able to endure it as long as they have each other.

Six months ago

Morning sunlight streams through the lofty windows with full force, leaving little shadow in the grand hall. Water drips steadily from melting icicles, suspended around the tower crevices and overhangs; in the garden, remaining piles of snow from the last storm dwindle away into puddles, causing anyone passing by to lift their cloaks for fear of getting the hems wet. A bird chirps away from the branches of a cherry blossom tree, dotted with pink buds to signal the arrival of spring. The crisp morning air has lost some of its bite, though it’s still enough to turn one’s nose and cheeks pink.

But all of this is lost on Daichi, who has something more important than the turning of seasons on his mind. As he races down the hall, he’s grateful for the plush red carpet that muffles his footsteps, knowing that he’d get a good scolding if someone were to catch him running around like an untamed child. Everyone should be in lessons at the moment, but still - Daichi knows that there’s always one or two professors lurking about, ready to catch unsuspecting students skipping class.

Spotting the entryway to the foyer, Daichi pushes all thoughts of professors and scoldings out of his mind and speeds up. His lungs feel about ready to burst out of his chest, the muscles in his legs are praying for a break, but still he persists, if only to beat-

“Took you long enough. I’ve been waiting for ages.”

Skidding to a stop, Daichi doubles over, panting. He braces his hands on his knees and glares up at the figure across the foyer, sauntering over like he’s got all the time in the world. Kuroo stops right in front of him, his smug smirk just begging Daichi to wipe it off. “Looks like I win again, Sa’amura-san. What is that, thirty-four to thirty?”

“It’s thirty-four to thirty-two,” Daichi snaps, straightening up. He takes a couple deep breaths to even out his breathing. “And how did you get here so fast? We left at the same time.” He narrows his eyes in suspicion. “Did you cheat? You know using magic wasn’t allowed.”

“My dear Daichi, you don’t actually expect me to tell you, do you?” Kuroo sighs, shaking his head. “I’m no cheater, but I do have a few tricks up my sleeve. So how am I supposed to win if I tell you all my secrets? Though…” He snickers. “It probably wouldn’t make a difference either way.”

“Shut up, cheater,” Daichi deadpans. “Forget it, I don’t wanna know your secrets. Who knows what you’re hiding under that hair?”

“Hey, you know my hair can’t be helped,” Kuroo protests, dropping the lofty pretense.

“Like the rest of your personality, unfortunately.”

“Ouch,” Kuroo grins. “Are you that mad I won? Is our little Sa’amura a sore loser?”

Scoffing, Daichi pushes past him to start back down the hall. “Not a chance. Don’t forget that I’ve won thirty-two times. I’ll beat you next time, and all the ones after that.”

“Bold words for someone who just lost the last two matches,” Kuroo remarks, following after him.

“Which is why I’m gonna win the next ones.”

“We’ll see.” There’s another smug smirk that Daichi can just hear in Kuroo’s voice, and sure enough, it’s there on his lips when Daichi turns around. Annoyed, he reaches out to pinch Kuroo’s cheek roughly, eliciting a yelp.

“Yeah, we will see,” he smirks, letting go; beside him, Kuroo pouts, rubbing his reddened cheek.

It’s quiet as they make their way down the hall, save for the occasional bird outside. Daichi dabs at his forehead and neck with his sleeve, having worked up a bit of a sweat, and hooks a finger over his collar to air his shirt out. He considers untucking it, but decides it isn’t worth getting caught and scolded for looking unruly. “Oh yeah,” he says, breaking the silence. “Today’s Hinata’s departure date. Did you say goodbye yet?”

When there’s no reply, Daichi turns to see Kuroo staring at him, a strange, dazed look on his face. “Hello?” He lets go of his collar to snap his fingers in front of Kuroo’s face. “Earth to Kuroo?”

“Wha?” Blinking in surprise, Kuroo rouses from whatever daze he was in. Daichi wonders if he’s imagining the pink tinting his cheeks. “Sorry, what’d you say?”

Raising an eyebrow, Daichi wonders if he should ask - then decides against it. When it comes to Kuroo, ignorance is bliss, as they say. “I said Hinata’s leaving today.”

“Oh! Yeah, that’s right.” Kuroo sighs. “I’m gonna miss that little shrimp. He’s so fun to tease.”

Daichi snorts. “If that’s why you like having him around, then I’d say Hinata’s probably glad to get out of here.”

“No way, the shrimp loves me. My company’s delightful, surely you can attest to that.”

“The only thing I can attest to is how annoying you are.”

“Aww, don’t be shy, Sa’amura.” Kuroo nudges him with his shoulder and throws him a wink; someone else might’ve found it charming, but it only makes Daichi want to turn him into a frog. “I know you like having me around, you don’t have to lie.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” Daichi gives him a light shove, rolling his eyes. Even if he does like Kuroo’s company, there’s no way in hell he’d ever admit it to the guy’s face. That’s just asking for a lifetime of teasing.

They reach the end of the hall, which connects the foyer to the main building of the magic tower. Despite appearing to be a simple, rising cylindrical tower on the outside, the interior of the Karasuno magic tower is much larger, thanks to a plethora of space expansion spells cast when the tower was first built. Aside from the lofty foyer where all guests enter first when visiting, the main tower itself is as large as a castle, with an infinite number of rooms: a bright dining hall, numerous classrooms, an expanding library, and a plethora of research labs, to name a few. Despite having resided in the tower since he was a baby, even Daichi doesn’t think he’s seen everything it has to offer.

He stops by a door that leads to the residential quarters. “Well, I’m seeing Hinata off soon, so I need to go get changed,” he tells Kuroo, half-turning away. “I’ll see you in the library later-”

“Wait, wait,” Kuroo interrupts him, grabbing his wrist. “What about my prize? I won today.”

Daichi stops short, then bites back a groan from deep within his soul. He’d hoped that Kuroo had forgotten about that - though if he thinks about it, there’s no way Kuroo would give up an opportunity to rub his victory in Daichi’s face. Reluctantly, and he means that very sincerely, he turns and asks, “What do you want?”

A smirk tugs across Kuroo’s lips (Daichi sometimes wonders if he has to smirk at least five times a day to feel satisfied). “I get a wish, don’t I?”

Pursing his lips, Daichi nods. “But remember, nothing outside of my power. And nothing to purposefully get me in trouble.”

“Sa’amura-san, who do you think I am?” Kuroo protests with an innocent expression that does absolutely nothing to fool Daichi. “I’d never do anything to get you in trouble. How could you think so poorly of me?”

Daichi can probably list at least ten instances in the last month where Kuroo tried getting him in hot water, five alone for things that Kuroo did himself. He fixes Kuroo with a glare.

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Kuroo grins. “But don’t worry, my wish is nothing like that.” Without warning, he suddenly leans down; the abrupt, close proximity causes Daichi’s heart to jump in surprise. Lowering his voice, Kuroo murmurs in his ear, “Meet me tonight at midnight, at the astronomy lookout.”

Jerking away, a shiver runs down Daichi’s back. Kuroo’s voice, low and husky, felt strange to hear so close to his ear and he resists the urge to rub it. Inexplicably, his heart thumps loudly in his chest like he’d been running, even though he’d caught his breath ages ago. “Couldn’t you have told me that normally?”

Shrugging, Kuroo just gives him his typical lazy smirk. “Just in case. Didn’t want anyone to overhear,” he replies, stepping away. “It’d be unfortunate if we were interrupted, y’know?”

It’s probably more unfortunate for me than you, Daichi thinks. With whatever weird thing you have planned. “Sure, whatever. I’ll see you later.”

“See you tonight,” Kuroo winks and disappears around the corner with a wave of his fingers.

Shaking his head, Daichi returns to his room, quickly discarding his shirt. As he changes, he wonders exactly what Kuroo has in mind to ask them to meet so late at night. Maybe he wants to test some new spell on me? The astronomy lookout isn’t exactly a good place to experiment with new magic, though…or maybe he wants me to wear a dumb costume like last time. Ugh, I sure hope not. I couldn’t even look the infirmary nurses in the eye for days after that.

Daichi first met Kuroo when he was eight. Kuroo’s parents had dropped him off, which was rare in and of itself - most of the kids at the tower were orphans or, like Daichi was when he was an infant, abandoned there at a young age with no clue as to who their parents were. But Kuroo’s parents were both wizards working in the royal family’s magic tower, and apparently decided to let Karasuno magic tower train Kuroo to follow in their footsteps.

Maybe it was because his parents were both wizards, but Kuroo was what one could consider a genius. From the very beginning, he showed exceptional talent for everything - which would’ve been fine, if he didn’t use the fact to poke fun at Daichi constantly. Homework, chores, magic, the taunts and teasing were incessant. Daichi, being the responsible child he was, didn’t let Kuroo get to him - until one day, he’d finally had enough (a result of Kuroo bragging about his latest prank, with a remark along the lines of ‘goody-two-shoes Sawamura could never do such a thing!’) and hexed a doorway to rain spoiled milk the moment Kuroo walked through. Ever since then, they’ve been at a rivalry for ages, challenging each other to random and inane matches just to one-up the other. Daichi’s gotten in trouble more than once because of this, but he’d rather clean bathrooms for the rest of his life than admit defeat to Kuroo.

Thinking about it now, maybe that was Kuroo’s goal all along - he did look rather upbeat despite being covered in rotten milk - and Daichi just fell into his trap, as he seems wont to do. No matter how much Daichi may try to be the responsible, mature head student that he’s supposed to be, it all seems to fly out the window the moment Kuroo steps within a five-foot vicinity of him. Sugawara once said it was because Daichi feels comfortable enough around Kuroo to act like his age; Daichi rather thinks it’s because being in Kuroo’s presence for longer than three minutes deteriorates half his brain cells. Maybe it’s the effects of his weird hairstyle.

In any case, there’s no point in trying to guess what Kuroo has in mind, Daichi thinks. He summons his wizard’s robes with a snap of his fingers, and it settles over his shoulders in a billow, the ribbon tying itself neatly in front of his chest. I’ll just have to pay it back tenfold when I win next time.

---

It’s near midnight when Daichi slips out of his room, covered with a dark cloak to conceal himself and a muffling spell cast to hide his footsteps. He slips along the darkened hallways, ducking into a secret pathway he knows that will take him closer to the astronomy lookout. Though Daichi would never say it out loud, sneaking out after curfew is remarkably easy. The senior wizards keep the same schedule for patrolling the tower each night, and most of the protection spells are meant to keep intruders out, not a misbehaving student from wandering around in the middle of the night. Couple that with the tower’s secret passageways and some cloaking spells, and one could do whatever they possibly wanted after dark.

(Not that Daichi is a misbehaving student - if it weren’t for Kuroo, he’d never sneak out of bed, or race down the spiral staircase in a flying competition, or break one of the library’s windows during a ball game, or-)

Honestly, one could say that Kuroo’s a terrible influence, Daichi muses, pausing to check both ways before rounding a corner. But strangely, none of the senior wizards have ever said that about him. They just give him a light punishment and let him go on his way.

He slows down in front of a nondescript door, swinging it open to reveal a dark staircase leading up. Slipping inside, he quickly climbs to the top, which opens into a small room; it’s rather messy, with random boxes and equipment stacked along the walls. A tall window looks out over the forest surrounding the tower, paired with a short balcony extending out from below it. Unlike the astronomy room, which was built with the magic tower from the beginning, the balcony is a new addition from when Daichi was a child: a student leaned out too far while looking for meteors and actually fell out of the window (she was saved, thanks to a wizard who was flying by in some sheer stroke of luck, but not without a full hour of lecturing and a brand-new balcony sticking out of the tower wall). Most people still stay in the room when looking at the stars, but the balcony is useful on nice nights, too.

Flipping his hood off, Daichi glances around the dark room, confirming that Kuroo hasn’t arrived yet. The astronomy room doesn’t have any lighting, but instead is dimly lit by the moonlight streaming in from the sole lookout window. The wizards at Karasuno magic tower don’t put much emphasis on astronomy as a study subject, and therefore the room doesn’t get much use - over the years, it’s been turned into more of a storage room, a place to play hooky, a meetup spot for friends, rivals, lovers…in other words, it’s not really an astronomy room so much as an all-purpose recreational room.

Which I suppose is why Kuroo asked me to meet here, Daichi muses. He circles the room once, double-checking behind the boxes to ensure the other wizard isn’t lying in wait to scare him when his guard is down (he wouldn’t put it past him). After making sure the coast is clear, he leans against the ledge of the lookout window to wait. Despite knowing that it’s pointless to wonder, he can’t help but be curious about Kuroo’s plan for his reward this time. A bit of nervousness squirms through his stomach, thinking of everything Kuroo’s made him do in the past, but he quickly calms himself down. Though Kuroo clearly has no qualms for humiliating him, Daichi at least knows that he would never hurt him - he trusts him that much. And hey, being embarrassed so many times in my life has taught me how to take it in stride. I guess there’s a bright side to everything.

Five minutes turn into ten, then fifteen, then thirty. As the minutes tick by, Daichi, tucked into the window ledge, finds himself nodding off, cloak wrapped around him to ward off the night chill. After nearly falling out of the window (thank god for the balcony), he stands and stretches his arms. Is Kuroo coming? Frowning, he looks at the stairs as if expecting Kuroo to emerge from the darkness at any moment.

Nothing.

“I’ll give him another five minutes,” Daichi mutters under his breath. He conjures a candle and a needle, sticking it into the candle about an inch below the top. It’s a rather old-fashioned, primitive method for keeping time - one that Kuroo definitely would make fun of him for if he saw it - but Daichi likes simple things like this. He lights the candle with a quick snap of his fingers and a firespark spell, and sits down by the candle to wait. But long after the needle falls out, covered in wax, and even when the candle burns down to a short stump, Kuroo never appears.

---

“Wow, what happened to you?” Sugawara asks, raising an eyebrow. He looks Daichi up and down with a critical eye. “You look awful.”

“Gee, thanks,” Daichi deadpans, trudging down the staircase from the dorm. “I appreciate the compliment.”

“You’re welcome. But really, did you not sleep?” Sugawara peers at him this way and that as they start heading to the dining hall for breakfast. “We don’t even have a test coming up.”

“It’s not that,” Daichi yawns widely, covering his mouth. “I was-” He cuts off, suddenly unwilling to admit that he’d been waiting for Kuroo. Somehow he gets the feeling that Sugawara, who (for gods know what reason) seems to think that he and Kuroo are engaging in what he calls a ‘convoluted mating dance’, would tease him endlessly for it.

Unfortunately his friend is too perceptive for his own good, and a sly smile crosses his lips. “Having a late-night rendezvous with Kuroo?”

“Ye- no,” Daichi catches himself just in time. He throws Sugawara a glare that has no effect whatsoever. “No, we were not having a ‘rendezvous’. Stop giving me that look, I’ve told you a million times that I do not have a crush on him. And he doesn’t either,” he adds quickly when Sugawara opens his mouth.

Pouting, Sugawara crosses his arms in front of his chest petulantly. “Boo, you’re no fun. You have no idea how he looks at you when you’re not looking. Hell, he looks at you like that even when you are looking. You’re just too oblivious to see it.”

Daichi throws his hands up in the air, exasperated. He’s too sleep-deprived for this right now; Sugawara is his best friend, but even on a good day he’s a demon at best, Satan reincarnate at worst.

“Deny it all you want,” Sugawara continues. “But I know you guys were meeting. There’s no other reason why our golden boy head student would be sneaking out after curfew - only Kuroo can get you to break the rules like that.”

“Hey! Who was the one who snuck back all those sweets for you from our trip to town last month? And who created a secret pocket dimension for you to store all your forbidden potions?”

“Oh, please. I had to beg you for months for the pocket dimension, and you also made me promise to stop selling the potions to the kids. You ruined like, a month’s worth of sales!”

“Suga, what good would ever come out of giving the kids a hair growth potion?” Daichi demands. “I was shaving head and body hair for weeks. Poor Yamaguchi was in shock. He didn’t even know he took it!”

“Pity, he looked great with long hair,” Sugawara sighs. “Anyway, my point is that I had to coerce you into doing all of that. But Kuroo just enters your line of sight and it’s like you’re eight years old again, letting your impulses take over. Actually, you weren’t even like that at that age! Admit it, Daichi. He’s special to you.”

“Yeah, ‘specially annoying.” Daichi sighs, at a loss of how to convince his friend otherwise. It’s only like that with Kuroo because the other wizard is insufferably talented at pushing Daichi’s buttons, not because he’s special to him.

They walk along in silence for a bit, passing some windows. Thanks to Daichi barely getting himself out of bed in time, they’re late, and so their footsteps echo a bit in the empty hallway despite the thick carpet. Outside, the early spring sun is out in full force, melting the last of winter into clear water. Daichi’s rubbing his tired eyes when Sugawara pipes up, “So, what were you guys doing?”

Daichi lets out the longest groan of his life. If being around Kuroo turns Daichi into a kid, then Sugawara’s presence makes him feel like one of the senior wizards who have been alive for ages. “Nothing! I’m telling you, we didn’t meet!” Hesitating, he glances off to the side and mutters, “He didn’t even show up.”

“Aha!” Sugawara exclaims triumphantly. He grabs Daichi by the arm, stopping them in the middle of the hallway. “I knew it! See! You can’t fool me, Sawamura Daichi. I know your every move.”

“Oh, shut up,” Daichi grumbles, shaking his hand off. “Fine, yes, we were supposed to meet. Kuroo asked me to meet him because he won our last competition. But then he didn’t show up, so.”

Sugawara stops crowing and tilts his head. “Really? He didn’t show? Even though he finally asked you on a date?”

“It wasn’t a date,” Daichi snaps. “Merlin, you’re like a dog with a bone. It wasn’t a date, and he didn’t show up. To be honest, I feel like leaving me hanging was probably his goal all along. I’m so tired I could drop dead.”

“I seriously doubt that,” Sugawara mutters to himself, putting a hand on his chin. Whether he’s referring to Kuroo’s motives or Daichi’s exhaustion is anyone’s guess, but Daichi is inclined to think it’s the former. “Maybe something happened to him on the way there? Come to think of it, I don’t recall seeing him come out of his room this morning.”

“He’s probably already in the dining hall,” Daichi rolls his eyes. “Ready to rub it in my face.”

They continue down the hallway, Sugawara deep in thought. Daichi doesn’t bother telling him to forget about it, knowing that it’s pointless. If he’s being honest, half the reason why he doesn’t want to think about it is because he doesn’t want to admit that he’d been rather…disappointed when Kuroo didn’t show up. Hurt, even, though that makes it feel even worse. It wasn’t that he was looking forward to meeting Kuroo that night, but- it’s just that Kuroo has never broken his word before. Whether good or bad, he always does exactly what he says he will - and Daichi, to his surprise last night, had come to expect that of him.

He shakes his head to rid himself of his strange thoughts. Why is he expecting things from Kuroo all of a sudden? It’s not as if Kuroo cares about him the same way.

Daichi frowns. Suddenly, he just wants to go back to bed.

“Hey, isn’t that Kuroo?” Sugawara suddenly remarks, drawing Daichi’s attention by poking him rather hard in the arm. He looks up to see someone approaching from the other end of the hall. “Now’s your chance to ask him why he didn’t show up.”

Rubbing his sore arm, Daichi thinks that’s unnecessary when Kuroo clearly just wanted to mess with him. Regardless, he lifts a hand and calls out, “Hey, Kuroo!”

At the sound of his name, Kuroo looks up; but instead of strolling over with his usual smug smirk, he stops short, then whirls around and hurries back the way he came.

“What the-” Sugawara raises an eyebrow. “Did he not see us?”

“I…suppose,” Daichi says slowly, bemused. He stares after Kuroo’s retreating back, confused. Despite what Sugawara said, he knows they definitely made eye contact - did Kuroo feel bad about standing him up? But he dismisses that thought as quickly as it had come.

“Maybe he feels bad about standing you up,” Sugawara grins, echoing Daichi’s thoughts. They’d reached the dining hall right when Kuroo appeared, and the doors slowly swing open for them.

“I highly doubt that,” Daichi snorts, following Sugawara into the hall. He stops right outside the doorway, though, and looks back at where Kuroo had disappeared. Something didn’t feel right about that just now - something about the look on Kuroo’s face. He didn’t look guilty, but rather…unsettled. In all his years of knowing him, Daichi doesn’t think he’s ever seen Kuroo look like that before. It makes him wonder if something’s going on.

“Daichi? What’re you doing? Come on.” Sugawara pulls at his sleeve.

Shaking his head, Daichi steps into the dining hall. I’m sure I’m just overthinking it. I’ll catch him later and make him ‘fess up for leaving me hanging.

---

“Did you not see me this morning?”

Kuroo’s head snaps up. Daichi sits down across from him, setting his books on the library table. He fixes Kuroo with an expectant look.

“Wh-what did you say?” For some reason, Kuroo looks uneasy.

“This morning,” Daichi repeats. “Outside the dining hall. I waved and called your name, but you just turned around and left. Did you not see me?”

“O-oh,” Kuroo fiddles with the corner of his book, glancing away. “I- no, I saw you. But I forgot something in my room, so I went back to get it.”

Humming, Daichi eyes him suspiciously. When you’ve been friends (and rivals) for over ten years, you kind of pick up a few things about the other person - and one of those things is that when Kuroo is lying, he tends to fiddle with his right ear. Which he’s doing right at that moment.

But rather than call him out, Daichi merely opens his notebook. “Really? Are you sure you just don’t feel guilty?”

There’s a brief pause before Kuroo responds, “Guilty? About what?”

Daichi glances up from his homework. Kuroo’s voice, as well as the look on his face, is so strange that he doesn’t know what to make of it. “...Standing me up last night?”

Suddenly the dark shadow clears from Kuroo’s face. “Oh. Standing you up last night. That’s all?” Contrary to what Daichi had been expecting, Kuroo looks rather relieved. He sits back in his chair, shoulders slumping like someone told him there’s no test tomorrow. Daichi waits.

Kuroo’s face drops. “Wait. Last night?”

Daichi stays silent.

“Oh…shit.” And that’s the reaction he’d been looking for. Kuroo looks up at him, face pale. “We…were supposed to meet last night.”

“Yep.”

“And I- I never showed up.”

“Yep.”

“...You’re gonna kick my ass, aren’t you?”

“I thought about it,” Daichi replies, amused. He’s not the petty type, but he does quite enjoy having the upper hand over Kuroo. Mostly because it’s usually the other way around. “I also wondered if making me wait all night was your plan in the first place. It was your reward, after all.”

“No!” Kuroo lunges across the table to grab his hand, so quickly that it startles Daichi. Heart pounding, he stares at Kuroo, who mirrors his wide-eyed, surprised look. Wha- why is he freaked out? He’s the one grabbing me out of nowhere.

“Sorry,” Kuroo mutters, dropping back into his seat. “I was gonna go, I promise. I swear. I had it all planned out and everything. Just-” His expression crumples. “Something came up, so I forgot.”

Daichi raises an eyebrow. “Must’ve been something important,” he replies. “You’re not the type to just forget a promise.”

“I wouldn’t say it was important,” Kuroo murmurs, looking away. His eyes are downcast, that strange cloud settling over his face again. “But it was- urgent.”

A heavy silence follows, during which Daichi observes Kuroo closely. This time, he doesn’t think he’s imagining it - Kuroo does seem unsettled, face pale. His hand, which is still clasped around Daichi’s, tightens its grip. Was I right? Did something happen? Frowning, Daichi’s about to ask when Kuroo suddenly looks up.

“Wait,” he says, eyes wide. “Did you wait all night for me?”

“What?” Daichi asks, bemused.

“You said, ‘if making me wait all night was your plan’. Did you wait the entire night for me to show up?”

“I- No! I didn’t wait all night, I-” Daichi protests, ears growing hot. He did wait almost the entire night, but the way Kuroo’s putting it makes Daichi sound like a forlorn soul waiting for their lover for a late-night clandestine meeting. “It wasn’t all night…”

“You did.” A wide grin breaks out on Kuroo’s face, dispelling whatever strange mood he’d been in. “Now that I look closer, you have dark circles under your eyes. You never have dark circles. You waited for me! The great Sawamura Daichi, waiting for little ol’ me-”

“Okay, don’t flatter yourself,” Daichi retorts, embarrassment shooting through him in hot streaks. “I did wait, but only because- because you told me to meet you. I would’ve waited for anyone else-”

“Sure, sure, tell yourself that,” Kuroo grins smugly. “Except if it were anyone else, I think you would’ve told them that meeting after curfew is against the rules. Man, you broke the rules for me and you waited all night…I’m starting to feel guilty for standing you up.”

“You-” Daichi groans, rubbing a hand over his eyes. It’s annoying. He’d originally wanted this - for Kuroo to feel bad for making him wait. But despite his words, the person himself doesn’t sound the slightest bit guilty - and even worse, he seems rather gleeful that Daichi had waited for him. Not for the first time, Daichi feels like Kuroo had managed to take a situation against him and turn it for his favor with nothing more than a quick smirk and a few cheeky words. “Ugh. You’re so annoying,” he mutters for lack of a comeback.

“Yes, yes, this annoying one was terrible for making you do all of these things,” Kuroo assents, though he doesn’t sound sorry in the least. “And therefore, I should make it up to you.”

Daichi peeks up at him through his fingers warily. One might think that it’s a good thing that Kuroo wants to apologize - but Daichi knows better. It’s never good when Kuroo agrees with doing what he wants, because one way or another, he manages to turn it into something that’s only beneficial for himself.

“...And how are you going to do that?” he finally asks, deciding to play along for now.

He isn’t sure what to expect, seeing as Kuroo rarely does anything that he’d readily admit to being in the wrong for. Maybe it’ll be something along the lines of Kuroo granting him a favor, or being Daichi’s errand boy for a day, or letting Daichi turn him into a lizard (Daichi’s in favor of the last one). What he doesn’t expect is for Kuroo to lift his hand, the one that had been holding onto Daichi’s this entire time, and clasp them together, intertwining their fingers.

Instantly heat shoots up the back of Daichi’s neck to his ears. Caught off-guard, he stammers, “Wh-what are you doing?”

“Holding hands,” Kuroo replies as if it’s obvious. “To make you feel better.”

“Make-” Daichi gapes at Kuroo, wondering if he’s being serious.

“Hm?” Kuroo smiles impishly at him. “What? I told you. I feel bad for making you wait all night. So this is my way of making it up to you.”

Isn’t this supposed to be something I want?? is what Daichi wants to snap, but he feels as if his brain is currently short-circuiting at the moment. It’s not that he’s never held hands with anyone before - he’s held his friends’ hands when they were young, and he’s pretty sure he’s held hands with all the kids - but for some reason, the fact that it’s Kuroo’s hand that he’s holding makes him feel like he took a blast of pixie dust to the face.

Perhaps it’s because it seems completely out of the blue. In all their years of knowing each other, Daichi has never had much skinship with Kuroo, aside from the occasional pinch, noogie, or punch - otherwise there’s always been the slightest gap, the smallest bit of distance between them. They’ve exchanged spells, magic, even clothing (not Daichi’s most favorite memory), but not once does Daichi ever recall holding hands with him like this. It feels- intimate. Close in a way that their relationship hasn’t come before. A strange feeling stirs in Daichi’s stomach; a flutter, like the gentle flap of a butterfly’s wing.

He looks down at their joined hands, then back up at Kuroo. Despite the cheeky look on his face, Daichi feels as if he can spot something else deeper in Kuroo’s eyes - a softer, hidden emotion brought to the surface by the dim glow of the lamp on their table. Something that Daichi thinks he’s seen on Kuroo’s face before, but never knew what it meant. Or perhaps, he didn’t want to know, because it would mean admitting something within himself that he isn’t ready to face quite yet.

Suddenly, Sugawara’s words echo in his head: “You have no idea how he looks at you when you’re not looking.”

His heart starts to beat just a little bit faster.

“Daichi?” As Daichi continues to stare, silent, the confident grin on Kuroo’s face seems to falter just the slightest. The soft look in his eyes dissipates, covered by something akin to disappointment. “Ah, sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable?” He laughs shortly, withdrawing his hand. It slips through Daichi’s, and he acutely feels the loss of warmth. “I was- You don’t have to. I was just kidding.”

As Daichi’s eyes follow Kuroo’s hand withdrawing, he spots something that embeds itself firmly in his mind’s eye: the tips of Kuroo’s fingers, trembling ever so slightly.

Kuroo, who had the steadiest hands out of their entire class when sewing up a fairy’s wing.

Wordlessly, Daichi holds out his other hand, his left hand. Kuroo pauses, then gives him a questioning look.

Taking a deep breath, Daichi simply says, “I can’t do my homework if you’re holding my right hand.”

The back of his neck and ears feel impossibly hot, and he doesn’t know if he’ll regret going along with Kuroo’s whims. But then Kuroo lets out a little breathy laugh, clasping their hands together again; for the first time, Daichi spots how the dim glow of the lamp reflecting in his smiling eyes turns them to gold. He wonders how he’d never noticed that before. As his heart thumps a steady, heavy beat in his chest, Kuroo’s fingers slotting perfectly between his own, Daichi supposes it’s okay to let the other boy have his way for once.

---

Small flowers drift off the trees like rain, covering the courtyard outside of the tower in a pretty, pale pink blanket. The days get warmer and warmer, urging all the wizards to pack away their sweaters, thick cloaks, and winter robes; Daichi hardly wears anything on top of his usual button-ups anymore, keeping his sleeves rolled up in an effort to keep cool. Kuroo, for gods know what reason, seems to take that as an invitation to bother him as much as possible, poking and prodding Daichi’s bare forearms when he’s bored.

Ever since that night in the library a few months ago, the distance between them has all but disappeared. It’s as if a spell had been cast without his knowledge - Daichi finds himself spending more time just being around Kuroo, whether it’s doing homework or eating in the dining hall, and Kuroo, in turn, seems to make it his goal to stick as closely as possible to Daichi whenever they’re together. There’s less competing over who’s better and more quiet moments of simply sitting together, reading or doing homework, practicing small spells. Always, always touching in some way - legs tangled on sofas, arms pressed together while eating, fingers intertwined in the library.

(The bickering is still there, though. Daichi doesn’t think that’ll ever go away.)

Not a single word regarding this change has passed between them, but Daichi gets the feeling that Kuroo has come to the same understanding of their relationship that he has. There’s a bit of a tension hanging over them as a result, a thick cloud that’s just waiting to break, and it’s not a question of what will happen but when.

But with how busy Kuroo seems lately, Daichi muses, entering the residence quarters’ common room, maybe it’ll never happen.

Karasuno magic tower is known to be an academic tower focusing on educating and producing young wizards for the royal family. At a certain point, once the professors deem the student ready, they’re sent to either the royal magic tower or - if they show exceptional magical skill - the royal palace. Age doesn’t matter, as anyone can be sent at any time, whether child or young adult. Hinata, who had left awhile ago at the beginning of spring, had a best friend (though Daichi wasn’t sure if they were friends or enemies sometimes) named Kageyama, who was sent to the royal palace at thirteen. That was a whole riot - mostly because Hinata was indignant about Kageyama leaving earlier than him.

It’s normal for a classmate to leave every few months or so, but Daichi’s noticed that more and more students have been sent off as of late. From their friends to even kids, the ones that are left are a few teenagers and several older students. The oldest of them, like Kuroo and Daichi, have been told to stop attending class; instead, they were given the choice to study more advanced magic on their own or with a senior wizard, and so it’s not uncommon for Daichi to find Kuroo holed up in the library or research labs, reading and practicing magic. He, himself, also spends long hours studying, but Kuroo seems determined to learn every single spell in existence.

Strangely, Daichi doesn’t feel the same urgency to beat Kuroo as he once did in the past. He’s more concerned if his friend is getting enough rest, if he’s pushing himself too much. On top of devoting nearly all his time to his magical studies, Kuroo seems a bit unlike his usual self. He still teases and pushes Daichi’s buttons, but from time to time a sad expression will cross his face. Daichi has refrained from asking about it since Kuroo hasn’t said anything, but sometimes he wonders if his friend is alright. It’s never easy to watch their classmates leave, but he feels as if Kuroo is taking it harder than most, in a number of ways.

The common room is empty at first glance, being in the middle of the afternoon. Everyone is in class or off studying - those who are left, anyway. The sunlight streams in from the windows, reflecting off a silver mirror hanging on the wall and shining into his eyes; blinded for a moment, it takes Daichi a moment to spot Kuroo, stretched out long on the sofa, his nose buried in a thick book.

“There you are,” Daichi remarks, leaning over the back of the sofa. Kuroo’s so tall that his feet hang off the armrest, making an amused smile crawl across Daichi’s lips. “It’s hard to see you these days.”

“Hm?” Kuroo lifts his eyes from the page. Upon seeing Daichi, his face breaks into a lazy cat’s smile; it makes Daichi’s heart skip a quick beat. “Why, hello there, handsome.”

Daichi huffs. Kuroo always has some flirtatious line at the ready, but he’s not sure if he likes the fact that it works. “What’re you reading?” He cranes his neck to peer at the cover, catching the words ‘theories of nullification’.

“Ah, nothing important.” As if flustered, Kuroo quickly snaps the book shut and tosses it aside. Then, as usual, he reaches for Daichi, fingers brushing his cheek. “I thought you were practicing fire magic in the barrier room.”

How did he know that? Daichi raises an eyebrow. Somehow, Kuroo always seems to know what he’s doing, which Daichi feels is rather unfair considering the fact that he never knows where Kuroo is lately. “I got tired, so I stopped. Weren’t you studying in the library?”

“It was too boring without you,” Kuroo sighs, dropping his hand. Daichi rolls his eyes.

“What a liar. Haven’t you been pulling allnighters in there for the past month? Boring, my foot.”

“It’s true. Those allnighters have been torture.” Kuroo clutches his chest dramatically. “I have to pinch myself every hour to stay awake.”

“What are you even studying so much, anyway?” Daichi rounds the side of the sofa, lifting Kuroo’s legs aside to sit down. He frowns when Kuroo places them right back onto his lap, but doesn’t do anything to move them again. “Maybe I should study with you tonight.”

“No!”

Daichi startles at the quick reply. A flash of regret crosses Kuroo’s face, and he lays back down, having sat up in a hurry. “I mean- it’s nothing. I’m just…trying to get as much done as possible.”

There’s a strange note to his voice when he says that - as if he’s not just talking about studying magic, but also like he’s preparing to leave. Not for the first time, Daichi wonders if the reason why Kuroo’s been studying like the world’s about to end is because he feels impatient seeing everyone, even those younger, enter the royal magic tower before them.

“Kuroo,” he says quietly. “You- you know our time will come, right? It’s not because you’re- it’s not necessarily a matter of age or talent. You don’t have to rush. You’re already skilled enough to be an official wizard. In fact, you’ll probably get sent to the palace, when it’s time. You’re that good.”

There’s a moment when Kuroo stares at him, an unreadable expression on his face. Unexpectedly, something akin to melancholy surfaces briefly in his eyes, like what Daichi had said saddened him. He swings his legs down and sits up, shifting closer to Daichi. They’re close enough that he can see the flecks of gold in Kuroo’s amber eyes, the mole hidden in his right eyelid when he blinks. He looks tired, with shadows smudged under his eyes, his skin a little ashen. But the smile on his lips - not his usual smirk or smug grin, but a true, soft smile - is warm, full of affection. It makes Daichi so acutely aware of his heartbeat, thrumming throughout his body.

“Aww, are you worried about me?” Kuroo coos, instantly ruining the moment. He pinches Daichi’s nose, shaking it back and forth gently. “I’m so touched, Sa’amura. I didn’t know you cared!”

“You-” Grunting, Daichi wrenches Kuroo’s hand off. “My gods, you’re the worst. I was a fool for trying to comfort you.”

“The fact that you wanted to comfort me is already enough,” Kuroo smirks, leaning his elbow on the back of the sofa. He rests his head against his fist. “I’ll gladly be comforted by you any time. No need to wait until I’m feeling down.”

“In your dreams.”

“Been there, done that,” Kuroo grins, dodging Daichi’s hand making a grab for his collar. He jumps off the sofa swiftly, stretching his arms overhead with a groan. “Ah, I’ve been lying still too long. Don’t worry about me, Daichi,” he adds over his shoulder. “I’m not worried about being chosen. If anything, I want to stay as long as possible-” He falters for a split second, that strange melancholy reappearing in his profile. “With you. I just need more time.”

The last part comes out so softly that Daichi wonders if he’d misheard. Then Kuroo spins around with his usual cheeky grin. He leans over Daichi, trapping him in with an arm braced against the sofa back. “But if you’re that lonely, I’ll be happy to spend more time with you.”

“I’m not lonely-”

“No need to pretend otherwise, Sa’amura-san, I know exactly how you’re feeling. In fact, I’ll do my best to keep you company for the rest of the day.”

“No, that’s really oka-”

“Nonsense! How about we start by having dinner together? I know it’s early, but I’m feeling rather hungry - and I know you’re always ready to eat.” Kuroo straightens up, then bows and offers his hand like the gentleman he isn’t.

Sighing, Daichi purses his lips in exasperation. It’s obvious that something’s bothering Kuroo, but it’s difficult to call him out on it when he’s trying so hard to hide it.

“Keep that up and see if I’ll let you hang out with me like you want,” Daichi retorts, taking Kuroo’s hand.

As Kuroo pulls him out of the common room, he tells himself that Kuroo’s strange behavior is probably just some anxiety, since so many of their friends and classmates have left recently. Kuroo’s strong-willed, and isn’t easily susceptible to mental pressure - Daichi has no doubt that his friend will get over whatever’s troubling him soon enough.

---

Despite what Daichi initially thought, Kuroo does not get over it.

It starts with excessive studying. Kuroo begins to spend more and more in the library, in the research labs, or somewhere else that Daichi isn’t aware of. The number of times Daichi catches him emerging from the library at dawn spikes until they suddenly stop - but Daichi’s sure it’s because Kuroo changed his schedule to avoid being spotted rather than anything else. He begins to skip breakfast, then lunch, then dinner as well; his bed hasn’t been slept in for ages, based on the last time Daichi had checked while looking for him.

The time they spend together decreases by the day, and when they do talk, Kuroo is unusually quiet. Daichi can tell that he’s trying to act normal, but there are moments when Kuroo will stare off into nothing, mind a million miles away. Oftentimes a dark shadow hovers over his features, or if not that, then he’ll adopt a melancholic look - but when Daichi asks if everything’s okay, he’ll smile and tease Daichi for worrying, then quickly change the subject.

The worst is when Kuroo begins brushing him off. Daichi tries talking to him, tries to get him to eat, rest, do anything other than study obsessively (which Daichi has told him before, that he’s being obsessive - Kuroo just waves him off, but Daichi notes that he doesn’t deny it) but Kuroo merely assures him that he’s fine and slips away with a flimsy excuse about needing to finish some work. And gradually, the brushing off turns into clear avoidance, with Daichi barely catching a glimpse of Kuroo at all. Whenever he tries actively looking for him, asking the senior wizards or whoever is left among the students if they’ve seen him, they all give varying answers that makes Daichi feel as if he’s on a wild goose chase.

It frustrates Daichi to no end, but it also makes him feel incredibly…lonely. He never thought he’d ever feel this way, but he misses Kuroo. He misses his teasing voice, his long fingers playing with Daichi’s own; misses his witty remarks, that annoyingly smug smirk. In the tower where Daichi is expected to take care of all the other students, Kuroo was the sole person with whom he felt like he could shed that responsibility and just be…himself. For him to avoid Daichi like this hurts more than he’d thought it would.

The last straw comes the day that Sugawara is sent away.

By the time summer is nearing its end, the only students left in the tower are Daichi, Kuroo, and Sugawara. It’s strange, because Daichi had always seen children brought to the tower every once in a while as others left. There was always a cycle of people arriving and leaving - but that year, no other kids were brought to the tower after Hinata left. The lack of laughter and chatter in the halls makes the tower feel much too large and empty, and despite the fine summer weather, the atmosphere grows rather stilted and gloomy.

The day Sugawara leaves, Daichi feels unusually terrible. In the evening, he sits down heavily on his bed, room dark save for the dim glow of his bedside lamp. Though he’s done this countless times over, though he’s seen so many of his friends and younger classmates leave the tower, though he knows they’re bound for a great future as professional wizards, the minute feelings of sadness gradually pile up like dust within him all the same, until his heart feels suffocated. Saying goodbye is never easy - and it’s even harder when it’s a close friend.

Daichi has never really been the sort to rely on others, but he finds himself craving the presence of someone else terribly that day. And the only one left in the tower is…Kuroo. Who hadn’t shown up to say goodbye to Sugawara.

Granted, he hasn’t said goodbye to any of the kids who left for a long while now. Daichi had excused him when some kids had seemed hurt by his absence, saying that Kuroo was very busy but would miss them very much. But Daichi had expected him to at least come say goodbye to Sugawara, who was as much of a friend to Kuroo as he was to Daichi.

The stuffiness in his chest gives way to a grating irritation, burning low in the pit of his stomach. He doesn’t know what’s going on with Kuroo, but today - today, of all days, he wishes that Kuroo would get over himself and show his face at the very least. Gritting his teeth, Daichi shoots to his feet and marches out of his quarters, determined to find Kuroo and shake some answers out of him. And if not answers, then some sense, because Daichi’s fed up.

He finds Kuroo, to his surprise, in the library. It’s surprising because Kuroo seems to take great pains to disappear whenever Daichi enters a ten-foot radius now, but he supposes casting the cloaking spell before coming was a good idea.

When he’s right in front of Kuroo, he allows himself to take a moment to look at his face properly. Kuroo looks…haggard, to say the least. It’s a bit of a shock at first, because it’s the first time in weeks that Daichi’s even been able to see him. His cheeks are hollow, his skin pale and ashen even in the golden glow of the table lamp. His hair is long and matted, likely from lack of care and running his hands through it repeatedly. The undersides of his eyes are heavy with dark shadows, and there’s a haunted, pained look in his eyes even as he quietly reads.

In that moment, all the anger drains out of Daichi, replaced by a terrible ache in his heart. How did Daichi not see this? The fact that Kuroo was so clearly suffering from- something. Whenever Kuroo changed the subject, whenever a dark look passed over his face, whenever his voice grew somber; there were so many obvious signs that something was wrong, but Daichi chose to ignore them. Told himself that Kuroo was strong, that he’d resolve it on his own. He feels so awful for turning a blind eye that he wants to cry.

Quickly he lifts the cloaking spell, revealing his presence. It takes a few seconds for Kuroo to notice him, which speaks to how exhausted he must be. When he does, he jolts back, eyes wide with surprise.

“Wha- Daichi? What’re you- when did you- how-”

“What’s going on with you?” Daichi asks quietly, ignoring Kuroo’s sputtering. “Seriously, Kuroo. This isn’t funny anymore. What’s going on?”

Kuroo stares at him in silence, then presses his lips together. He looks away, a resolute, guarded look on his face. Daichi, knowing that means he’s not going to answer, grits his teeth and grabs him by the collar.

“What the hell is going on with you?!” he snarls. The words burst out of him like they’d been waiting for it, echoing through the darkness and bouncing off the dusty bookshelves. Anger rushes back up within him again - but this time it’s aimed at himself, for standing by while his friend is evidently having a hard time, for not doing anything to help. It explodes outward, releasing all of Daichi’s frustration and sadness onto the one person he doesn’t want it to. “Kuroo! Have you even seen yourself? What’s plaguing you so much that you’re putting yourself through this? Can’t you at least explain it to me?!” He shakes Kuroo, limp like a ragdoll, once. Then he catches sight of the look on Kuroo’s face.

Rather than anger, like how Daichi had expected him to retaliate, there’s nothing but sadness. A deep, incomprehensible sadness that reaches far into Daichi’s heart and drenches it in a heavy, dark blue hue. It snuffs out his anger like a flame in the wind, and he falters, slowly letting Kuroo’s shirt go; dropping back into his chair, Kuroo doesn’t look at him, doesn’t meet his eyes, and so Daichi lowers down onto his knees, determined to at least see his face.

When he does, the melancholy, the loneliness is so prominent there that Daichi can’t help but reach up, cradling Kuroo’s face between his palms. “Kuroo, what’s wrong?” he whispers, voice breaking like his own heart. “Hm? Tell me what’s wrong, Kuroo. Please. I’m- I’m worried about you.”

And maybe it’s the sadness in his own voice, or the gentle touch of his hands on his cold skin, but Kuroo seems to finally break. His face contorts, his brow furrowing. “I- Daichi, I don’t know if…I can tell you. It’s- it’s- I’m just-” He takes a shuddering breath, squeezes his eyes shut. His hands come up, burying his face in them. And then he admits, in the smallest, most vulnerable voice that Daichi’s ever heard from him, “Daichi, I’m scared.”

It feels as if Daichi’s heart shatters into a million pieces right then and there. Upon hearing Kuroo sound so small and frightened, so unlike his usual self, the only thing Daichi is able to do is pull him out of his chair and into his arms, holding him against his chest tightly. He feels the way Kuroo freezes for a moment, then falls into the hug with his entire being, burying his face in Daichi’s neck and clutching the back of his shirt so desperately it feels like the fabric might rip. And despite still not knowing a single thing as to what’s been causing Kuroo so much grief, despite feeling a bit of his own fear at seeing his most confident friend crumble like this, Daichi murmurs, “It’s okay. I’m here, Kuroo. It’s going to be okay.”

---

“It was the night I asked to meet you,” Kuroo starts.

They’ve moved to sit on the floor, leaning against the nearest bookshelf; the dim glow of the lamp on the table casts long shadows across their legs, their faces barely illuminated. Kuroo’s resting his head against Daichi’s shoulder, his hair tickling the side of Daichi’s neck; their hands are clasped together, fingers tangled. Even though they’ve been in this position before, Daichi can’t help but feel that there’s a bit of desperation in Kuroo’s touch right now, as if he’s seeking assurance that Daichi’s there.

“When we were supposed to meet at the astronomy lookout?”

“Yeah.” Daichi feels Kuroo nod slightly. “I was on my way there around eleven, and I passed by Takeda-sensei’s room. His door was open - I don’t think he expected anyone to be in the halls - and he was talking to someone. I think it was the head wizard, Ukai-san.”

Daichi is a little curious as to why Kuroo had gone to the lookout so early when he ended up not showing, but keeps quiet.

“I wasn’t going to stop since I was in a bit of a hurry. Plus I was holding all these things…but then I overheard them talking. It was about Hinata.”

“Hinata?” Daichi furrows his brow. “Wasn’t that the day-”

“That Hinata left for the royal magic tower?” Kuroo finishes for him. “Yeah. At first, I thought they were talking about him since he just left, but then Ukai-san said-” Kuroo’s voice shakes a bit. “That the sacrifice failed. That the- the sun child wasn’t enough, just like all the others.”

‘Sun child’? Suddenly Daichi recalls something - a distant memory from a long time ago. Something strange he’d found at the time, but never thought much of it - the day Hinata arrived at the tower, merely six years of age. At the time, one of the senior wizards had remarked that ‘the sun child had arrived’. Daichi, being ten, didn’t question it - but now, ten years later, he’s finding it strange to hear the phrase coming from Kuroo, who hadn’t been in the vicinity at the time.

“Takeda-sensei said that it was too rushed, since the ritual was done the day Hinata arrived,” Kuroo continues. “Then Ukai-san said that they need to start sending more sacrifices, that the king is getting impatient and wants to complete the ritual right away. Takeda-sensei said that they’ll expedite the schedule, so the king just needs to wait until autumn. Because at that time, the last two-” Kuroo’s voice chokes, and he cuts off abruptly.

“What?” Daichi asks when he doesn’t continue. “Kuroo, what is it?”

He feels Kuroo stir, twisting to bury his face in Daichi’s neck. He grips Daichi's hand so tightly that it almost hurts, his entire being trembling. The way he seems much too apprehensive to continue almost makes Daichi tell him not to finish.

But then Kuroo takes a deep, shaky breath; he sits up, staring somewhere around their feet. “He said, in autumn, the last two students will be ready. At their most powerful. And they’ll be more than enough to resurrect him.”

Who? Daichi wants to ask. Who will be ready? Who will be resurrected? But somehow, even though he doesn’t want to, he thinks he knows the answer to one of those questions already. Certain words from Kuroo’s story begin to link together, forming a puzzle that Daichi doesn’t want to solve: Sacrifice. Ritual. Sun child. King.

Kuroo turns to meet Daichi’s eyes. He has the same haunted, pained look on his face that Daichi has been seeing this whole time, since that day in front of the dining hall. The very first time Kuroo had avoided him. “It’s us,” he croaks. “We’re the sacrifices. They’ve been raising us- all of us to be sacrificed in a holy ritual. And we’re the last ones left.”

There’s an innate instinct in Daichi to deny what Kuroo’s saying. Before he’s able to really process it, the words ‘no, not possible’ bubble up in his throat. After all, the people of the magic tower are the ones who have raised him since he was a baby; yes, some might be eccentric, cranky, cold, intimidating, but they’ve raised and cared for him - for all of them - in their own ways. He doesn’t want to believe that the affection he’s received over the last twenty years was all fake, a ruse to prepare him for an inevitable death.

But Daichi also knows that Kuroo would never lie about this. Would never lie to him. Because when he looks into Kuroo’s eyes, Daichi can see his raw grief - grief at the reality that their entire lives, everything they were ever told, were essentially lies. How long has he been holding this burden? How long has he had to bear the weight of a secret like this? When Daichi thinks of all of Kuroo’s actions over the past six months, it all starts to make sense - and more than anything, he feels unbearable guilt for not trying harder to understand what his friend was going through.

Silence stretches out between them for ages, suffocating and heavy. “So,” Daichi finally breaks the silence. “Is…that why you’ve been studying so much?”

Slowly, Kuroo nods once. “Yeah. After I heard them that night, I ran back to my room because I was so confused. They were talking about something so terrible so calmly, that I couldn’t wrap my head around it. That’s why I didn’t show up to the lookout,” he adds. “I’m sorry for leaving you waiting.”

Daichi shakes his head. “No, I would’ve done the same.”

Kuroo smiles weakly at him. “So I’m off the hook?”

Letting out a soft chuckle, Daichi reaches up, brushing his bangs away from his eyes. “I forgave you for that a long time ago, dummy.”

Kuroo closes his eyes briefly at his touch, then continues, “I went back to my room, but I stayed up all night thinking about what I’d heard. I thought I- hoped I misheard, or misunderstood. I even thought about asking Takeda-sensei about it, but I didn’t want to admit I’d been eavesdropping. And what if- what if it was true? Would I be putting myself in danger if they knew I had heard everything?

“So I decided to look into it first. I snuck into Takeda-sensei’s office, and I found papers on all the kids. About our magic, our abilities, and how likely we’d be able to successfully complete the ritual based on that. All dated with future departure days. And I realized that it wasn’t a misunderstanding. It was really true - our lives here…everything was fake. We were never being trained to become wizards for the royal family - we were being raised like cattle for slaughter.”

Despite knowing it himself, hearing Kuroo put it like that was more painful than Daichi thought. He squeezes Kuroo’s hand, feeling numb grief rise up in him.

“After learning the truth, I didn’t know what to do. I thought about telling everyone and trying to escape, but it would be impossible for all of us to leave without being caught. And to be honest…I didn’t really want to believe it. That Ukai-san, Takeda-sensei, everyone here…they only saw us as objects to be used. Even now, it’s hard to think about it. And despite knowing everything, I could only sit and watch as they continued to take everyone away. I couldn’t do a single thing to save them. I- I’m-”

Kuroo’s face grows pained, his teeth gritting together. With his free hand, he clutches at his hair, curling in on himself. Daichi, watching his shoulders shake in anguish, realizes that this likely isn’t the first time Kuroo’s given into his self-loathing like this. That he’s likely been through this internal struggle over and over again, a cycle of guilt and determination and despair. Quickly he grabs him by the shoulders.

“Kuroo, no. This is not your fault. It’s not your fault those children had to go through that. You’re not expected to be a savior, Kuroo. You were trapped by so many circumstances that I know it would’ve been impossible for you to help. Even if you knew, you’re- you’re just a victim, like them. Don’t blame yourself, please.”

He doesn’t know if his words have any effect. The pained look still persists on Kuroo’s face, though he seems to relax under Daichi’s hands. Hesitating, Daichi adds, “Besides, you haven’t just been sitting around. I know you were doing your best to look into what’s going on - you’re not the type to just give up. Right?”

Kuroo glances up at him, the distress giving way to a wan smile. “You really do know me,” he chuckles softly. Daichi smiles back, relieved.

“Yes, I did look into it. I spent a lot of time researching the tower, its history, as well as the palace and the royal family. I also looked into the ritual, because I hoped that it would give me clues on how to stop it.” Here Kuroo stands up, pulling Daichi with him to the table. He shuffles through some papers, pulling a sheet out for Daichi to read. “From what I overheard, it’s a holy ritual. Holy rituals typically don’t require sacrifices, since the clergy believes living sacrifices go against the word of their god, save for a few extreme cases. So it was easy to narrow it down. And the only ritual that requires the sacrifice of a human with innate magic is this.” He taps the paper. “The ritual to resurrect their god into the human realm.”

“They want to resurrect a god?” Daichi asks in disbelief.

“I guess resurrect isn’t the correct word,” Kuroo replies. “More like summon? According to what I’ve read, the god is summoned into the body of the sacrifice. That’s why a person with powerful magic is required, in order for the body to handle the power of the god entering it.”

This is all so overwhelming that Daichi has to pause for a moment. He shakes his head. “Wait, if a strong wizard is needed to handle the power of the god, then why were the kids sent too?”

Kuroo grimaces, glancing down at the papers. “Because the younger the sacrifice, the purer the magic. Purity is considered strength in holy magic, and they believe that magic that is pure is better able to accept the god into the host body. But it must’ve not worked, since they’ve-” His voice grows tight. “They’ve taken everyone except us.”

Silently, Daichi stares down at the paper without really seeing it. He thinks of Sugawara, face bright and full of excitement, but also eyes damp as he’d hugged Daichi goodbye, whispering promises of seeing each other again soon. He thinks of Hinata, Kageyama, Yamaguchi, and all the other kids on the day they left - excited at the prospect of a new chapter in their lives. He thinks of all the nights they’d stayed up late, whispering in the darkness about life in the magic tower and royal palace, wondering what it was like. Wondering how their friends were doing. Hoping they’d be able to see them again.

A familiar burning sensation rises to his eyes and nose. Two decades, Daichi’s lived in the tower. Two decades of children unknowingly being sent to their demise, while their peers - Daichi - saw them off with smiles just as ignorant. All of their faces flash through his mind, his vision blurring with tears as anguish turns his body to stone.

What was the point…?

Daichi grits his teeth. No, don’t think like that. We had hope. It’s not our fault. The paper crumples in his grip. He’s not accepting this; there’s no way those children are dead. And even if they are, even if he couldn’t help the other kids, at least he can save Kuroo. If they want to take him, it’ll be over Daichi’s dead body.

“We’re running away,” he mutters, low.

“What?”

Quickly wiping his eyes, Daichi lifts his head to meet Kuroo’s gaze. “We’re leaving. As soon as possible. There’s no way we’re staying here any longer. And- and I don’t believe that everyone is gone. There has to be some loophole. We’re escaping, and we’re gonna find a way to bring them back.”

Kuroo gapes at him, wide-eyed, before unexpectedly, he cups Daichi’s face with both hands and pulls him in for a kiss.

It’s only the press of their lips together - smushed, really - but Daichi feels as if the world has suddenly fallen away at his feet and now he’s floating, tied only to the warmth of Kuroo’s body through his lips and hands, anchored to this reality by the pounding of his heart in his chest getting faster and faster. He’s never really imagined what a kiss would feel like, but he’s read about it in books and heard the younger teens gushing about it - that it’s like fireworks going off in your head, or a pink haze washing over your vision, or a tingling that rushes from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Daichi doesn’t feel any of those things, or maybe he feels them all at once so it’s difficult to distinguish, but in the midst of it all he can only think that kissing Kuroo is really, really nice.

When their lips part, Daichi blinks in stunned silence, his face and ears hot. Kuroo’s not much better, a deep crimson staining his cheeks across the bridge of his nose - but there’s a soft, warm look in his eyes as he gazes at Daichi, his hands against his cheeks holding him steady.

“What- what was that for?” Daichi stammers, heart hammering in his chest.

“I’m sorry,” Kuroo chuckles, though he doesn’t look the slightest bit apologetic. “I couldn’t help myself.”

“‘Couldn’t help yourself’? Is this- is this really the time and place for that? Our lives are on the line here!”

For the first time in what feels like a long while, Kuroo throws his head back and laughs, the sound ringing out in the silence of the library. It seems to dispel the suffocating atmosphere that’s been pressing down on them, shattering the dread that’s been weighing on Daichi’s heart since he saw Kuroo looking as if he was about to drop dead on the spot. Kuroo pulls Daichi into his chest, cradling his head with one large hand; he smells of ink and paper, of his own natural, musky odor from neglecting his baths, but he’s warm and Kuroo. Being in his arms feels so much like home that Daichi instinctively clutches at his shirt, arm wrapping around his waist.

“Doesn’t that mean this is the perfect time for it?” Kuroo murmurs. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get the chance to kiss you again after this. We could be taken away at any moment. If I don’t kiss you now, I might never be able to do it again.”

Indignant, Daichi pulls away a fraction to glare up at him. “Why are you talking like that? Didn’t I say already that we’re running away? You’ll be able to kiss me now and again later, as much as you want.” His face feels even hotter as he speaks, but he can’t stand the fact that Kuroo seems to think this is where they’ll meet their end.

Kuroo gives him a surprised look before a grin, the one that Daichi’s seen countless times, stretches across his lips. “As much as I want? My my, Sa’amura-san. Sounds like you really enjoyed that kiss, if you’re letting me do it as much as I want.”

Scowling, Daichi reaches up to pinch his nose. “Don’t push it.”

“Okay, okay,” Kuroo concedes, though his grin doesn’t fade in the slightest. He pulls Daichi close again when he releases his nose, burying his face in Daichi’s neck. “Thank you,” he murmurs against his skin, so quiet that Daichi almost misses it.

“Hm? What for?”

“For-” Kuroo pauses for a long moment. “For existing.”

“What?” Daichi laughs, bemused.

Kuroo pulls back, smiling down at him crookedly, but doesn’t elaborate further. And Daichi, looking up at him, thinks he kind of understands anyway.

---

They decide to leave three days later, in order to procure supplies. It’s difficult being in the tower after realizing the true nature of its existence. Kuroo, who’s been isolating himself for quite a while now, doesn’t need to worry about it as much, but Daichi, who had been interacting with the senior wizards and professors up until that previous day, has the enormous task of acting as if he knows nothing at all. He finds himself doubting, many times, with every interaction he has - not only doubting the sincerity of their words, but also the reality that Kuroo had presented to him. Is it really true? Do you really see me as nothing more than a sacrifice? It’s impossible for Daichi not to waver when the rest of the tower’s occupants treat him exactly as kindly or familiarly as always. Affection and fondness intermix with suspicion and apprehension, making it difficult for him to discern what is true. Maybe Kuroo was mistaken; maybe he’d misunderstood.

But every time he finds himself wondering, doubting, hesitating, he reminds himself of the image of Kuroo’s gaunt figure in the library; of his grief-stricken eyes as he likened them to cattle raised for slaughter, of the absolute fear in his voice when he told Daichi that he was scared. That was true. The ache in his heart that’s lingered since that night was true.

But the hardest part, to his surprise, is the sadness he feels, rolling and tumbling within him like a huge tangled mess. It pierces his heart whenever he looks at Ukai-san, whenever he greets Takeda-sensei, whenever any of the other senior wizards ask him how he’s doing. He struggles to keep it out of his voice and expressions, though luckily most seem to think that he’s just sad at losing his best friend - it helps to focus on his task of preparing for their escape, though he still finds himself staring off into space from time to time, lost in his thoughts. It really makes him understand what Kuroo must’ve been going through before.

In any case, stealing supplies isn’t nearly as difficult as it is interacting with the tower’s occupants, and by the time the appointed night rolls around, they’ve packed enough food and supplies to last them several days. Kuroo had mentioned that they should avoid using magic until they’re at least two towns away from the tower, just in case they’re able to track them; that means no magic circles for transportation, either. The nearest town is at least two days away by foot, and Daichi has no doubt that they’ll be hunted down once the tower discovers that they’re gone. It’s essential to pack lightly in order to move quickly, but also pack enough food to last them a few days without other resources.

On the last day, Daichi takes a moment to walk around the tower. He revisits places that he’s grown up in, where he’s made countless memories with the other students: wrangling an out-of-control vine monster in the greenhouse, nearly setting the large oak tree in the garden on fire, accidentally flooding the foyer hallway with a painting of the sea and an ill-performed expansion spell. He walks through the dining hall, recalling mornings and evenings of chaotic meals; peeks into classrooms where they’ve stressed and sweated their way through lessons; runs his hand over the books in the library, reminiscing about long nights and exhausting study sessions. The sadness permeates him with each step, each location, until it layers over his memories like a thin, transparent coat of paint.

It’s under a certain doorway where Kuroo finds him.

“It was here, wasn’t it?”

Daichi turns, smile already forming on his lips. “Hey.”

“Hi.” Kuroo grins down at him, greeting him with a kiss on the cheek. After that night in the library, Daichi had forced him to rest and eat, arguing that for them to escape, they’ll need to be in their best condition. As a result, Kuroo looks infinitely better, the color returning to his skin and a mischievous quirk to his lips; Daichi had cut his hair and forced him to take a long bath, as well. The shadows are still present under his eyes and he’s still quite thin, but Daichi’s already satisfied with the progress in such a short amount of time. “This is the-”

“Rotten milk door? Yeah,” Daichi laughs, looking up at the doorframe. “Just wanted to come here again. For the memories.”

“Good memories?”

“Of course,” Daichi snorts. “For me, anyway. I’ll never forget the look on your face when all that milk dumped over your head. Plus your hair - you looked like a drowned rat.”

“Smelled like one too,” Kuroo grimaces. “That was probably one of your best works, Sa’amura. I have to hand it to you - you know how to get ‘em good.”

“Well, thank you for saying that,” Daichi rolls his eyes. “Though I’m not exactly glad to be complimented for my pranking skills.”

“Hey, a compliment like that coming from me is high praise,” Kuroo protests. He runs a hand over the doorframe, expression fond. “No, that was a good memory for me too.”

“What?” Daichi looks at him, bemused. “Really? Getting covered in spoiled milk was a good memory for you?”

“I suppose you could say that. I mean, smelling like month-old socks wasn’t great, but-” He pauses, a thoughtful look crossing his face. “That day, I realized something.”

Daichi waits for him to continue, but Kuroo merely steps out of the doorway, leaving him standing under the frame. Growing tired of waiting, he asks, “What is it? You can’t just leave me hanging like that.”

Turning back around, a secretive smile crosses Kuroo’s lips. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” He sticks his tongue out at Daichi.

“Wha-” Daichi gapes at him. “Hey! Are you really not gonna tell me?”

“Nope,” Kuroo cackles. “That’s my payback for dumping rotten milk on me.”

“Oh, come on,” Daichi grumbles, indignant. “You’d already gotten revenge for that by turning me into a mouse the day after.”

“And what a cute mouse you made,” Kuroo coos. “I did like carrying you around in my pocket. But no, that wasn’t my revenge. Actually, I never exacted my revenge on you for that, just to let you know.” He lifts one hand, a mischievous smirk crossing his face. “I’ve been saving it for a day like this.”

Daichi gets a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He wouldn’t, would he? Of all days to do this, he chooses the day they’re supposed to escape? Kuroo wouldn’t be so stupid as to cause such a big commotion, right? “Wait, Kuro-”

Apparently he would. “This is my revenge.” Kuroo points at the doorway, and Daichi instinctively ducks, arms raised to cover his head-

Except instead of cold liquid, something soft brushes past Daichi’s arms and head. A faint, floral fragrance fills the air instead of a sour tang. Confused, Daichi looks up, and gasps.

Dozens of colorful flowers rain down from the doorframe, bumping against Daichi gently. Soft petals brush his skin like faint brushstrokes, filling his vision with pale blue, light pink, deep purple, pure white. Daichi recognizes the flowers as those planted in the tower gardens and greenhouse, making him wonder if Kuroo had actually procured them from there. The fallen blooms gather at his feet, surrounding him in a small sea of flora.

Laughing softly, Daichi looks up at Kuroo in delight. “K-”

He stops short. In front of him, Kuroo gazes at him with a warm look in his eyes, cheeks tinted a faint rosy red. There’s so much palpable fondness, so much overflowing affection, that Daichi feels his heart squeeze; as if Kuroo had opened his chest up like a box and, finding his heart there, gathered it up in his hands and filled it with an emotion. An emotion like looking at the glittering sea under sunlight, or casting a spell just right. As Daichi looks at Kuroo, he can’t help but think that he looks more beautiful than any flower, any scenery, anything Daichi’s ever seen.

“Kuroo,” Daichi calls softly, holding out his hand. He doesn’t need to say more; like a moth to a flame, Kuroo instantly approaches, taking his outstretched hand. He steps carefully into the flowers, but his eyes are fixated on Daichi, solely on him. His gaze is so adoring that Daichi feels his cheeks grow hot, unused to being on the receiving end of so much affection.

“I know it’s been difficult for you these last few days,” Kuroo begins, voice low so that only they can hear. “Since you’ve lived here your entire life, I know it’s hard to separate what you’ve called home with the fact that it was never what you thought it was. And I know the memories you’ve made feel tainted by what we know now. So I wanted to give you one last memory of this place; one that has nothing to do with the tower, the people, or the truth. Just something beautiful. A beautiful moment, in the place where you grew up, to take with you.” His lips curve in a soft smile, eyes crinkling at the corners. He brushes the high of Daichi’s cheek with his thumb, knuckles resting against his jaw. “It’s a bit simple since I didn’t have much time to prepare, but-”

“No,” Daichi breathes, interrupting him. “No, not at all. It’s-” His voice grows choked, vision blurring as his eyes grow damp. A bittersweet happiness washes over him, flowing into the ocean of his heart - an ocean that swells from the unbearable feeling of love he has for the person before him. Swallowing hard, he rests his forehead against Kuroo’s shoulder. “It’s perfect, Kuroo. It’s exactly right. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

---

“Got everything?”

“Yeah.” Daichi shoulders the pack, then slips his cloak over it, tying it over his shoulders. Kuroo does the same, extinguishing the lamp right after. The bedroom plunges into darkness and Daichi waits a moment for his eyes to adjust; outside, moonlight spills in through the window, only to be dimmed by a streak of cloud drifting over it. It’s a dry night, luckily, with a waning moon surrounded by light cloud cover. Daichi doesn’t know if the moonlight lighting their way will be a good or bad thing, but he hopes the clouds will be in their favor if need be.

He hears Kuroo exhale shortly. “Ready?”

Daichi glances around the room, eyes adjusted to the dark. This was the room where he’d grown up in; where he’d gone from an abandoned infant to a full-grown adult. This room has seen tantrums, tears, miscast spells, growth spurts - so much of his life occurred in this very room. He would be lying if he said he was truly ready to leave it behind, but what choice does he have?

Squaring his shoulders, Daichi looks at Kuroo. “Ready.”

It’s easier to leave than Daichi had expected - there’s nobody in the halls at such an odd hour, and they slip out using an old side entrance that’d been previously bricked up before Daichi had discovered it as a child. Once outside, they move quickly away from the tower, sticking to the trees dotting the courtyard. Nobody comes after them, shooting attack spells or wielding ropes to drag them back; the night is quiet save for the rustle of grass under their shoes and their breathing, which seems loud in the silence. Daichi checks behind them periodically, but there’s nothing in sight every time he looks. By the time they reach the edge of the tower’s land, where the neatly-trimmed lawn becomes dense forest, the realization that they’ve really succeeded in escaping begins to sink in.

Kuroo squeezes his hand, having not once let go since they started out from the tower. “This is it,” he whispers. It carries a bit loudly in the quiet, and he drops his voice even lower, drawing near so Daichi can hear him. “Once we pass through here, we can’t go back.”

Yes, there’s no going back. Daichi was well-aware of this fact when they first started plotting their escape, but only when he’s facing the literal line does the reality of it all hit him. There’s no turning back now, lest they want to return to their deaths. The only way to continue is forward.

Daichi would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared. The magic tower is all he’s known; unlike Kuroo and the other students who arrived at the tower when they were a bit older, Daichi was raised in the tower since before he could remember. He hasn’t experienced anything else to call home. The thought of leaving such a place is unbearably frightening, especially under these circumstances.

But as he feels the warmth of Kuroo’s hand in his, he recalls the way Kuroo had looked at him earlier that day, through the flowers falling from the doorway. Daichi thinks of the love he’d felt in that moment, love that he’d felt for and from Kuroo. He’d understood right then and there that it didn’t matter that the tower was all he’d known; his home is not a place but a person, a person who took his hand and said, your childhood is not defined by those who deceived you for their own gain. What you called home, and your affection for it, will remain untouched in the safety of your memories. And when you feel like those memories are being threatened by doubt and fear, I’ll protect them for you.

A smile crosses his face. He squeezes Kuroo’s hand back, looking up at him just as a cloud drifts away from the moon, enveloping them in its dim, silver light. “There’s no need to think about that,” he whispers. “As long as we’re together, we can go anywhere.”

Kuroo smiles down at him, the moonlight touching the tips of his hair with a silvery glow. Neither of them look back at the tower, looming tall in the darkness behind them. Instead, they both turn toward the forest, hand in hand, and step into the trees together.