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1.
“Welcome aboard the Astral Express, Caelus!”
Caelus blinked as he opened his eyes and cleared his vision. He was in the party parlor with Shush in the background, mixing drinks and shaking cocktails, in preparation for the celebration. He could see trays of cakes, snacks and drinks on the tables. Multicoloured balloons floated in the air, spelling out ‘Welcome!’, while confetti rained down on him. He could smell the faint scent of coffee and books, intertwined with a trace of the cosmos and laced with a warmth of home. March greeted him with a warm hug, Himeko smiled, Welt nodded in approval and Dan Heng was in the background with a faint smile.
Ah, so this was a dream.
Caelus remembered when he first boarded the Astral Express. They just finished fighting off the Doomsday Beast, and the crew had come to terms with the fact that Caelus was hosting a Stellaron in his chest. Even so, they opened their arms and welcomed him to his new home. March had greeted him with a hug, Himeko gave a motherly smile, Welt nodded in acceptance and Pom-Pom jumped with excitement at the arrival of a new member of the Astral Express.
But Dan Heng was different.
He was in the background, and instead of a gentle quirk at the corner of his lips, his expression was sceptical, impartial and muted. He greeted Caelus the way one might greet a member of the IPC. Cautious, untrusting and weary. Dan Heng’s eyes were steel-cold and calculating, shifting between Caelus’ face and his chest, trying to determine whether he was a friend or foe. A danger that needed to be guarded against. A life that may need to be taken in the name of protecting the Nameless.
Ignoring the dissonance between his dreams and reality, Caelus grinned and hugged March back, holding her tightly as if he had not seen her in a long time.
It felt so real.
(He hasn’t. The last image of March Caelus had seen was of her shivering in bed, unwell and sick. Before leaving for Amphoreus, he remembered visiting her and promising to take pictures and bring back souvenirs.)
Caelus wished he could return to the simpler times before Amphoreus. Before the countless cycles of loss and death. A time when he had been nothing more than a blank amnesiac with dumpster diving tendencies, hoarding money and Stellar Jades to play his favourite games. He so desperately wanted to go back, but Caelus knew he never could. The journey through Amphoreus had changed him. He did not know how or what he would become on the other side, but he was afraid of what he might turn into.
So, Caelus decided to play along with this dream. To play the version of Caelus, a lost boy with a clean slate ready to be painted in the colours of the universe. A confused boy who did not yet understand the weight of fate on his shoulder. A naïve boy who only wanted to go on an adventure with his closest friends and family.
But still, Phainon’s voice echoed within him.
“I will leave this to you, Caelus.”
A flash of guilt following along with countless faces. Friends and companions, he had met during his travels across Amphoreus. Shared joys and sorrows, determination and loss.
How could Caelus ever leave them behind?
They are all waiting for him.
Caelus steadied himself and pinched his arm, hoping the sharp sting of pain would tear him out of this sweet saccharine dream.
“Huh?”
Caelus’ eyes widened. This method usually worked. Why did it fail now? He tries harder, pinching himself to the point of bruising his skin. Still, nothing happened. Panic sets in, and Caelus scrambled to find other ways to wake himself up. He spotted Dan Heng in the corner and hurried over to him.
“Punch me”, Caelus blurted out.
Dan Heng stared at him for a moment before sighing in exasperation, “Caelus, what are you on about? I am not going to punch you.”
Dan Heng turned to walk away, convinced that Caelus was doing something idiotic. But a body quickly blocked his path. Caelus clasped his hands together as if he was in a prayer and begged, “Dan Heng, I know this is stupid, but please punch me.”
Pinching his nose bridge, Dan Heng knew that Caelus would just keep on asking him until he either gave in or found someone else to entertain his bizarre ideas. With a resigned sigh, he decided to humour him. He cracked his knuckles and reared his arm back –
“Not that hard!”, Caelus squeaked.
As Dan Heng readied his fist, Caelus closed his eyes and braced for impact.
Suddenly, March bursts into the room. As soon as her eyes landed on them, she yelled, “Guys! I need your opinion on this- …… What are you guys doing?”
Dan Heng briefly explained the situation while Caelus turned towards the pink-haired girl with pleading eyes.
March looked at him strangely.
“Caelus, are you alright? This is not one of your weird ideas you randomly thought of, is it?” March mused, “A young and beautiful lady like me shouldn’t take part in violence"
“Are you ill, Caelus?” Dan Heng added, “Do you need to see Natasha or Bailu?”
The room suddenly felt suffocating, as though the walls were closing in. Caelus looked helplessly at his best friends. As he was about to voice that he was not ill or insane, somehow his voice was caught in his throat. He tried to forcefully choke out his words, yet it felt as if his brain had been disconnected from his lips as words refused to form.
Panic crawled back up his chest.
Caelus gestured frantically with his arms and clutching his throat to show that he cannot speak. All that came out of his parted lips were breathless wheezes and choked gasps. His fingers dug into the sides of his neck as a confused noise escaped, and air refused to fill his lungs. The edge of his vision started to blur, the walls warping and bending inwards. Distantly, he could hear March and Dan Heng discussing. Deciding that Caelus needed more rest and they should carry him to his room.
He tried to scream. He did not need more rest. He needed to wake up and go back. Back to Amphoreus. Back to those who need him. Back to his friends.
Caelus could feel arms slide under his knees, and another braced his back as he was carried to his bedroom. He could faintly feel the bed sheets brush against his hands, followed by the weight of a blanket being draped over him. Faintly, he could feel gentle fingers tucked him in.
But it felt constricting. His body feels trapped in this cocoon of warmth and softness.
Caelus fought to keep his eyes open, but the heavy pull of unconsciousness dragged him under.
The last thing he saw with his golden eyes was the silhouettes of crimson jellyfish and a pair of red eyes.
2.
He had thought that landing in Memoria would be soft like a cushion. Or maybe like fluffy clouds. But all he felt was pain when he slammed into the cold, hard floor of the Vortex of Genesis. Caelus stumbled onto his feet. Beside him, Hysilens stood with her weapons drawn. Opposite was Lygus, that scheming bastard who was the source of so much suffering.
Caelus remembers this. He remembered the relief of finally finding Hysilens. The anger when Lygus revealed his plans and his twisted views of the world. The resolve as he braced for the inevitable battle and the waves of the black tide surging towards them.
But he also remembered the hopelessness. He had beheaded, smashed, crushed, stabbed, and severed Lygus thousands of times, and still, they would lose. They were destined to lose. Over and over again, he came so close to delivering the end, and yet it was never enough. He tried countless methods and countless times, but it was never enough.
Caelus could not even remember the number of times he had decapitated Lygus. Tens? Hundreds? Thousands?
It did not matter.
All he remembered was the monotonous, punishing rhythm of driving his lance into that machine and the searing pain every time he was blasted away, each time his muscles seized when he was frozen against his will. And then the crushing realisation, inescapable realisations that he had to do it again, and again, and again.
Where were Cyrene, Herta and Screwllum? They were supposed to help him defeat Lygus, to provide a sliver of an opening for Caelus to complete Era Nova and delay Irontomb’s birth. Weren’t they? Or was it only Cyrene? Or had he misremembered?
He did not understand anymore.
How did it end?
He could not remember.
The never-ending loop repeated, and repeated, and repeated.
And repeated.
3.
Caelus did not know how long he had been dreaming. He had fallen through layer after layer of Memoria, sinking deeper and deeper. So deep that he even saw his life before the Astral Express. Another life if- No, when he was a Stellaron Hunter.
Caelus lets out a hopeless, mirthless laugh. Kafka had given riddles about the end of the cosmos, riddles that did nothing to help his situation. He weaved and wandered through corridors after corridors, opened doors after doors, yet no exit in sight. Corridors led to doors. The doors lead to more corridors. He was trapped with no way out. He tried summoning his bat and forcing his own exit, only to find himself facing yet another dead end.
‘Tsk… Caelus, you really don’t know how to behave, do you?’
Whoever it was, they were determined to keep him here.
Caelus braced his body, readied to smash through another blank wall, but his vision blurred, and his grip faltered. His head throbbed as though something were forcing its way into his mind. It was like static. He leaned his body against a wall, his right hand clutched his head, trying to steady himself, but the sensation and crackling grew stronger. It was not pain, yet the unpleasant sensation was disturbingly familiar.
“…ae….l..u…s…?”
“Ca….e..lus….c..an….yo..u…..hea….r……me……!”
“Caelu…s! It’s Sunday. Ca…n you… hear me?”
The voice finally cut through the noise.
“I don’t have much time to explain, but we need to get you out of here”, the voice echoed urgently, “With the help of Madam Herta and Mr Screwllum, we managed to locate you. You’re currently deep within the depths of Memoria. We are going to pull you out.”
Caelus picked up his bat. That voice felt familiar. An image of a familiar man with a halo and wings flashed across his mind. He knew this man, didn’t he?
Before he could dwell on it any longer, a burst of light enveloped him. When he opened his eyes, the blank walls around him warped into the rich scarlet curtains of the Penacony Grand Theatre. In the distance, a man stood alone.
Sunday?
Caelus ran like a madman down towards the centre. He could feel invisible hands trying to stop him and pull him back. It was like running through molasses. Every step threatened his knees to buckle and collapse underneath him, to send him crashing to the floor. It took all his strength to resist this immense force and to keep moving forward.
He was exhausted. All he could think of was putting one foot in front of the other. Because if he gave in, he knew he might never get up again.
As he drew closer, Sunday called out to him and extended his hand, ready to pull him out. But just before their fingers could touch, a mysterious voice rang around them, and floating images of red jellyfish swirled around them.
“Don’t any of you think about interfering with this.”
Sunday's eyes darted around in alarm, “This is bad… she’s here.” He turned towards Caelus and muttered, “We need to hurry. I have secured an alternative route. Let’s go."
Caelus nodded and raised his hand.
Suddenly, Caelus was yanked backwards. Tides of Memoria surged and lashed out like whips, thrashing in anger. They coiled around his torso possessively, rendering him immobilised and harshly snapped backwards. The force caused Caelus to gasp and wheeze, and air was forcefully expelled from his lungs. In his last efforts with flailing arms, he reached out to Sunday.
But it was futile.
Just before he was consumed again, a golden vine wrapped around his hand, trying to pull him back. Caelus gripped the vine with desperation, his nails digging into the palm of his hand. It was his last tether.
He could feel the Memoria Tides crystalise into ice around his legs, pinning his lower half. He kicked and struggled, trying to shatter the ice shards, but it was useless. If he lets go now, there might not be another chance.
A figure in red and black stepped in front of him, speaking to Sunday before turning around to face Caelus.
Caelus could feel the tides rising again, but before he could warn Sunday, they crashed into the Halovian, snapping the vine in two. Caelus’ eyes widened in horror as Sunday was swept away and the golden strands dissolved into flecks of light.
The air turned frigid, the ice crystals crept upwards, enveloping him in a deceptive embrace. It cradled him in a protective yet suffocating embrace.
His body grew colder to the point of numbness. He could no longer feel his fingers or toes. His thoughts slowed, weighed down by the encroaching chill as darkness seeped onto the edge of his vision.
He reached out with a weak, shivering hand towards that familiar pink-haired figure. And then, darkness.
4.
There was nothing but darkness around him. It was as if he were submerged in the deepest oceans, where no light could reach. The faintest sound was swallowed, leaving nothing but silence. It was like swimming through an endless sea, no matter which direction he swam, there would be no shore. And Caelus was falling, sinking further down to the bottom, yet there was no ground. No matter how much he struggled or screamed, he was utterly alone. He could feel the pressure dragging him down, along with a compelling whisper that lingered near the shell of his ear.
‘Stay. Stay with us. Stay with me.’
Caelus opened his mouth, yelling out, but no sound emerged. Panic swelled as he grasped his throat, trying to feel the vibrations of his vocal cords. He tried again and again.
A yell, a whisper, a groan. Anything
He thrashed his arms and legs, fighting to break free, but his energy waned. His body felt unbearably heavy, and his limbs slowed.
He was losing.
No! He cannot lose.
People were waiting for him.
The Chyrsos Heirs. The Astral Express.
‘You were meant to stay in those beautiful memories… and wait for all the disasters to pass.’
They were all waiting for him.
‘Are they?’
He had to get back.
‘It’s alright, Caelus. Just rest and sleep while the chaos blows past’
Please let me out.
‘Behave and sleep, Caelus.’
Please.
‘Everything will be settled after you wake up.’
I don't want to be alone.
‘Goodnight.’
Please.
‘Sweet dreams.’
5.
Caelus no longer remembered how long he had been trapped in this darkness. His mind was hazy and disoriented.
With every moment he spent here, he felt himself losing a part of who he was. It began when he could barely see his own body. Then his limbs grew numb until he could no longer feel them.
Next, it was his memories.
At first, they were disorganised. Dreams bled into reality, overlapping until Caelus no longer knew what was real and what was fake anymore. His mind was overdriven as the never-ending voices echoed in his head, urging him to stop resisting and give in.
It was too much.
He tried to drown them out with songs, humming or even fragments of his past conversations with his family, but his mind was too exhausted. It yearned only for rest and silence. In the end, all he could do was ignore the voices as thoughts slowly collapsed into nothingness, clinging hopelessly to the soothing caress of silence.
Then, he started to forget.
And it terrified him.
Caelus knew he was an artificial body designed to host a Stellaron. But it was his memories that made him a living person.
If he lost them, what would he become?
He would be nothing but a shell.
He would have nothing.
He would be nothing.
Please.
Someone.
Anyone.
Please find me.
I don’t want to lose myself.
Help me.
5+1
After being pulled out from the Memoria by Dan Heng, everything became a blur.
Irontomb, Phainon, Cyrene, Herta, Destruction, Remembrance.
One thing led to another, and he found himself facing an emanator that threatened the existence of the universe. His body went on autopilot. All he knew was that if he failed, everyone would die.
Everyone he cherished would be gone. He would be alone.
Failure was not an option. Failure was not an optionFailurewasnotanoptionfailure-
To the world, Caelus was this selfless hero, always helping anyone in need, always coming to the rescue, irrespective of reason.
But Caelus was- no, is a human being as well.
And fundamentally, he is selfish.
He saved and saved and saved so that, at the end of the day, he had friends he could count on. So that he had a family he can return to. A place to rest.
But also, a proof that he existed.
However, something changed in Caelus after Amphoreus. Sometimes his mind would drift, leaving his body behind. His movements slowed, his body froze. Blank, unseeing eyes stared into nothingness. He would stand quietly in the corner, like a ghost. His mind detached, and all that remained was a body. Words came out in short, monotone bursts, delayed and flat.
Every time someone pulled him out of that dazed state, whether it was a voice, a touch or a hug, Caelus would flinch. His body stiffened, his eyes darted, mouth opened slightly before closing. His hand shook. Fingers twitched with uncertainty, as if he were unsure how his fingers moved.
As if his body was remembering how to live again.
And it scared Dan Heng.
Dan Heng had not come out unscathed either. Despite his new form, he sought out touch, any contact to reassure himself that Caelus was still there and alive. His tail moved on its own accord, seeking out without his permission and coiling gently around Caelus’ ankle.
But whenever Caelus slipped into that dazed state, a cold, insidious feeling crept into Dan Heng’s chest.
Caelus was going somewhere he could not follow.
His tail curled around Caelus, like an anchor to keep him from drifting to a place where Dan Heng could not reach him.
Now, Caelus was in one of his episodes. His body was still as a statue, eyes glazed over and barely breathing. He stared into emptiness, as if he was seeing past Dan Heng.
Raising his clawed hand, Dan Heng gently tapped Caelus’ cheek and guided Caelus to face him fully. When Caelus’ eyes did not meet his gaze, Dan Heng leaned closer, pressing their foreheads together so that all Caelus could see was Dan Heng and nothing else.
“Caelus?” Dan Heng murmured quietly, “Come back to me, Caelus. Would you do that for me?”
Caelus hummed and his eyes shifted. He tried several times to settle his gaze on Dan Heng’s grey eyes, flecked with molten gold. Even then, all Caelus could focus on was the earring on Dan Heng’s right ear. Dan Heng leaned heavily against him, making his presence more known.
Finally, Caelus looked at him.
Dan Heng exhaled in relief. He was not even aware that he was holding his breath.
He missed those bright golden eyes on him.
Dan Heng cupped the back of Caelus’ neck, drawing their bodies even closer. Their noses were barely a breath apart, almost touching. At this distance, Dan Heng could count the number of delicate eyelashes framing Caelus’ eyes, notice the faint freckles dusting his cheeks that were otherwise invisible and admire the shifting shades of yellow and gold in his starlit orbs.
His other hand intertwined his fingers with Caelus’, fingers laced together as he slowly brought them up to rest against his own chest, feeling the thundering rhythm of his heartbeat. Unconsciously, his teal tail curled around Caelus’ leg again, coiling and uncoiling in quiet concern, trying to anchor Caelus to the present. Dan Heng slowed his breathing, matching it to Caelus’.
To bring Caelus back.
Dan Heng was patient. For what felt like an aeon, he remained in that position with his closest companion. Tethering him. Grounding him. And slowly, his efforts were rewarded.
Caelus blinked several times as a familiar light returned to his golden eyes, and his body softened. Like a marionette whose strings had been cut, he slumped into Dan Heng’s arms. His mind began to stir, awareness creeping back as he registered his surroundings. Realising that he was leaning against Dan Heng, he attempted to pull himself away with unsteady legs and step away. But Dan Heng’s arms held him firmly yet in a tender embrace, leaving no space between them. Caelus nestled his head into the crook of Dan Heng’s neck, finally allowing himself to rest.
“Sorry,” mumbled Caelus. He tried to say more, but it was as if his mouth had forgotten how to shape words.
Dan Heng leaned down, resting his cheek against Caelus’ head, fingers gliding through Caelus’ hair in a soothing rhythm. He breathed in the scent of stardust and cheap shampoo and something that was unmistakably Caelus. A gentle rumble emitted from his chest, trying to reassure Caelus that there was nothing to apologise for.
As Caelus focused on the purring sound from Dan Heng’s throat, he missed the tenderness in Dan Heng’s eyes. The quiet devotion, the subtle longing. All directed at him and him alone.
To Caelus, Dan Heng was his anchor, keeping him steady in this chaotic world. But to Dan Heng, Caelus was the centre of his everything, his guiding star in this lone and vast cosmos.
And he will be there for Caelus, no matter the cost. Whatever he needs and whenever he needs it.
He will follow him to the very edge of the universe.