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Adam loved flowers.
His father had opened the store when he was very small and let him name it: Galaxy Flowers. The name a shared gift between them especially now that he was gone.
He isn’t very good with the customers, mostly listening to what they say and nodding while politely assuring, “I’ll have it done on time, I promise.”
Adam always has the bouquets done on time, even the large orders for weddings.
Not many people come in without an appointment, though the store is close to the graveyard so occasionally he gets a few strangers.
Nigel is the strangest of all of them.
He came in the first time because he wanted to buy a gift for his wife, a bouquet of love, and Adam sent him home with a mix of red roses and pink tulips.
Nigel had stared at the bouquet like it was the strangest thing he’d ever seen before, but Adam promised it was a very romantic bouquet. He’d read many books on the language of flowers and knew the meanings were correct.
Two months later Nigel came back and told him he’d found his wife in bed with “some fucking asshole.” Adam wasn’t sure why he’d come to tell him about his marriage problems, but he listened and Nigel left with a bouquet of yellow carnations because “Gabi was a fucking bitch.”
Nigel didn’t come back after that for nearly two months, and when he did it was because Adam had to help him inside the store.
He’d been closing up, it was nearing nine and most of the customers stopped coming way before. Adam had finished eating dinner and went to lock the door and saw someone leaning outside it.
Someone without a place to sleep more than likely, and he remembered all the extra macaroni he had left over in the refrigerator waiting for lunch tomorrow. He opened the door and the person fell into the shop, the familiar face making him frown.
“Nigel?”
The man smiled up at him. “Hello, gorgeous,” his eyes were glassy and he held up one hand full of a bottle that smelled from even far away, “ ‘m celebrating.”
Adam looked at him. “I need to close the store.”
Nigel scoffed, “Close the fucking store, darling, I don’t give a fuck.”
“You’re lying in the doorway.”
Nigel moved to sit up and fell back, sighing deeply. “Fucking Gabi. Fucking…”
With those words he passed out, and Adam couldn’t do anything but drag him inside. It was the start of fall and quite chilly, it would be rude to leave him outside.
The next morning there was a Thank You note with a hydrangea on top of it and Adam’s flower book open to ‘Flowers of Thanks.’ Adam kept the flower inside the book until it dried.
The very next day he came inside and threw down a fifty dollar bill.
“I need a “fuck you” bouquet.”
Adam frowned. “For,” he let the words sink in, “Your ex wife?”
Nigel sneered. “Fucking bitch invited me to her fucking wedding. Can you fucking believe that shit? I can’t…”
Adam worried his lip, “I don’t like it when people swear, Nigel.”
The expression Nigel wore was strange, and Adam wondered if he’d made the other man mad. “Fine. Give me a ‘screw you’ bouquet, Adam darling, and I need it by this time tomorrow.”
The bouquet Adam gave him was a mix of geraniums, foxglove, meadowsweet, yellow carnations, and orange lilies. It was a strange but striking bouquet, Nigel picking it up the next afternoon. He stared at the flowers for a very long time and Adam thought maybe he didn’t want them, ready to offer his money back, but then he just smiled.
“Thank you, gorgeous,” he took Adam’s hand and kissed it quickly before leaving.
Adam felt the kiss for a long time.
After that it was like there wasn’t a day that went by he didn’t see Nigel.
He saw Nigel at the grocery store, buying strange amounts of boxed cereal and coffee tins once only to explain it was ‘quick as fuck to make’ and ‘you don’t like coffee?’ Another time it was at the gas station where Adam was buying his favorite soda and Nigel cartons of cigarettes. Nigel walked him back home and Adam preceded to explain to him how awful cigarettes were for six blocks before Nigel handed him the cartons.
Adam stared at them, “I don’t smoke cigarettes, Nigel.”
Nigel scoffed, “Obviously, darling. I just thought since you’re so fucking passionate you can throw them away. I have absolutely no damn willpower.”
Adam took the cartons inside and didn’t have the heart to throw them away, instead hiding the cartons in the back. Nigel came several days later demanding their return so he gave them back, trying not to show his disappointment.
“Don’t look at me like that, Adam. You have no fucking clue what I…”
“Language,” Adam mumbled, not looking up, “I’m not your parent or your keeper so I can’t tell you what to do, even though cigarettes are very bad for you. Quitting gradually can help be a lot more effective.”
Nigel groaned, tossing the cartons on the counter. “I tried, Adam, I really fucking tried. I have nowhere to go where I don’t watch people lighting up. It’s not like I can find just anywhere else to…”
Adam interrupted, “You could hang around here. I don’t smoke, and I…I could use the extra help now that I’m trying to run the store on my own. I couldn’t pay you much.”
Nigel stared at him for far too long and Adam was sure he’d said something that offended Nigel. He suddenly broke into a sunny smile and put a hand on Adam’s shoulder, leaning in, “What would you need me to do?”
That was how Adam got his very first employee.
Nigel came in to work almost every day, though sometimes he would clock out early while still hanging around the shop. He seemed to enjoy talking with customers, pushing them into higher priced bouquets, and when they closed up at night always insisted on sharing a drink with Adam.
“I don’t like liquor.”
Nigel’s eyes narrowed. “How do you know? Have you tried it?”
Adam blinked, “When father gave me wine for my twenty first I did not enjoy it. I didn’t think to try anything else.”
Nigel grinned. “We’ll have to remedy that, won’t we?”
That was how Adam was introduced to Apple Cider. It was much sweeter than he remembered wine being and almost didn’t taste like alcohol at all. Nigel seemed pleased that he liked the drink, bringing and keeping a running stock of Apple Cider for them to share after the store closed.
Nigel always made sure to cut Adam off before he got lightheaded, the even slight amount was not the norm for his system even after a month of exposure.
“But…”
He would take the bottles and put them away, handing Adam a bottle of water.
“If you’re thirsty, darling, drink that.”
“I liked the sweet taste more.”
Nigel grinned. “You can try some again tomorrow, Adam, you lush. I never would’ve taken you for a drunk,” he poured Adam’s water into a cup knowing that was how he liked it.
“I’m not a drunk,” Adam mumbled, taking a sip, “I know what drunks are like.”
Nigel sipped his beer, “Oh yeah? You met one, darling?”
Adam looked down, “A drunken man once got into a fist fight with my father when I was young. We were watching the stars in the park and the man wanted our bench, but my father said no.”
Nigel grinned. “Good old Steve Raki, defending the star bench. Is that what he called you? His little Stargazer?”
Adam frowned, “No, he called me Adam.”
Nigel seemed to think that was hilarious, hand covering his face as he laughed.
“Of course, Star, of course. Why would I ever think otherwise?”
Adam frowned, “Star?”
Nigel patted his hand, “You don’t like nicknames?”
Adam looked at their hands for too long until Nigel moved his away, “I’ve never had one before.”
Nigel brought his bottle up for another sip, licking his lips when he finished it off. “Well now, you do,” he teased, tossing the bottle in the garbage with one throw. He looked at Adam thoughtfully.
“You ever go there still? Look at the stars?”
Adam shook his head, “I thought maybe I’d start going again soon after he died. It’s…stranger without him there.”
Nigel nodded, “Yeah, I feel that. You ever wish to go back again, Star, I’ll go with you. Just tell me when.”
Adam smiled, “Thank you.”
Adam was happy to have someone he enjoyed spending time with, even though Nigel wasn’t someone he’d ever have imagined becoming friends with. Several of the customers said they were “so different.” It made Adam very uncomfortable
.
He didn’t think they were all that different, except that Nigel understood people much better than he did.
“People are the same all over, Adam,” Nigel said late one night months into his employment, “Assholes are assholes and the sweet ones get fucked over. I can pick which is which pretty fucking easily.”
Adam sipped his drink, feeling warm though he couldn’t resist, “Language.”
Nigel laughed, pushing on his shoulder lightly. “Fuck language,” he shook his head, “You want me to keep my cursing to myself because your father didn’t fucking like it, yeah?”
Adam frowned, looking suddenly beside him half expecting Dad to defend himself.
“He hated swearing,” Adam confessed, closing his eyes, “But he did it often, correcting himself with ‘swear jars’ and other things that never worked.”
He felt a hand on his arm, rubbing up and down in a comforting move. “Your mother?”
“I never knew her,” Adam sighed, “She died when I was very small. I’ve seen pictures, but I don’t remember.”
He opened his eyes and looked at Nigel. “What about yours? Your parents?”
Nigel took a sip of his beer, his throat working as Adam watched half mesmerized at the movement. When he let out a long sigh Adam looked down, his cheeks pink though he doubted Nigel noticed. “Dead,” Nigel declared, “Mama raised me after the old man was killed and when I was old enough I got a fucking job to pay my way.”
Adam’s hand came out and hovered in the air, wondering if Nigel would take comfort in him touching his shoulder. Would it come off as a flirtatious gesture or a comforting one?
Nigel’s hand came out and snagged Adam’s, squeezing their hands tight together.
“You think too much, Star, you know?”
Adam stared at their hands, “I have trouble,” he took a long breath, “Other people’s expressions and emotions are hard for me to figure out, so I have to over think it just in case there’s a mistake I’m making?”
Nigel smiled, “You’re not making a mistake,” he let his hand drop, “You can touch me all you like.”
Adam’s throat suddenly felt quite dry and he let out a breath, “You’re sure?”
Nigel leaned back in his chair and the very first place Adam touched was his face. He ran his hand over one of Nigel’s cheeks, the day’s worth of beard softer than Adam had expected it to be. He could feel a small shiver go through Nigel.
“Why did you do that?”
Nigel took his hand, “Natural instinct,” he kissed Adam’s palm, “You know it’s not exactly the fucking norm between us, Star.”
Adam looked at their hands, “I…I like it when you do that, kiss my hand.”
Nigel did it again softly, several kisses in a row that made Adam tremble.
“See?”
“Nigel, I…”
The first touch of their lips made Adam moan, pulling Nigel closer and almost falling onto him completely. He felt hands in his hair and leaned in only to push back down not wanting to lose Nigel’s lips against his.
When their kiss broke Nigel ran a hand over Adam’s cheek, his puffed breath hot against Adam’s mouth. “I think I’d better go,” Nigel said, Adam frowning in surprise.
“Okay.”
Adam rolled away and onto his seat from where they’d been side by side, his cheeks warm as he watched Nigel turn his back looking around for his jacket.
“I think it’s on the chair by the register.”
Nigel looked at him, his expression foreign to Adam completely. Had he done something wrong? Nigel had been the one to kiss him, hadn’t he? Adam couldn’t remember now.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” Nigel promised, smile barely there just before he disappeared from Adam’s view out into the showroom.
Adam touched his mouth, still warm from a kiss that really could’ve been several kisses together.
He didn’t like this, not understanding Nigel. They had gotten along just fine before now, and to have things awkward between them would be like every friendship Adam had before this.
Adam sighed and started to clean up the leaves on the table beside him, throwing away their dinner with it and touching his fingers to Nigel’s bottle before tossing it as well. The walk to the door to lock it felt lonelier than it had before. He headed into bed with his mind still searching for answers.
Maybe things would be fine. They could go back to being friendly, working side by side, and Adam could forget how it felt to taste Nigel on his tongue. He sighed, closing his eyes.
Maybe.
The next day Nigel was late to come in, barely spoke to Adam, and his interactions with the customers was much warmer than any he had with Adam at all.
Lunchtime he went out without a word and Adam felt horrible, his stomach hurting as he tried to eat and could barely keep up his appetite.
Nigel came in after smelling of smoke and Adam immediately noticed it.
“You were smoking again?”
Nigel scoffed, “I was at the bar, the others were…”
Adam leaned in and nearly pressed his nose to Nigel’s mouth even as Nigel moved away.
“I can smell it on your breath.”
Nigel’s eyes narrowed. “Fuck off, all right? So I had a fucking cigarette Adam. It’s none of your damn business anyway.”
Adam’s jaw tensed, “No, I guess it isn’t.”
The rest of the day seemed worse after that. Adam was almost in tears over how often Nigel moved away from him when he’d come closer to the register. He remembered their easy camaraderie the night before, the way Nigel had touched him. That seemed like a dream compared to the Nigel he saw today.
Customers dwindled down around eight, Nigel lingering by the door almost looking for an excuse not to be alone with Adam.
“I understand,” Adam said, “I’m sorry I…I upset you last night.”
Nigel turned, “Star…”
“You really don’t need to come here to help anymore,” he offered, trying to keep his voice steady, “I…I’m fine without you, really, and it was just for the cigarettes anyway which you started again and…”
Nigel didn’t move and Adam didn’t want to look at him, seeing the relief there.
“Yeah,” Nigel said after a time, “Probably a good idea.”
Adam didn’t look up even when he heard the bell ring, looking to see Nigel had left his nametag on the flowerpot right beside the door. He walked over, picking it up and staring at it.
That was that then.
He set the nametag on the register and went to lock the door, his hand shaking as he got the deadbolt closed.
“I don’t know what I did wrong,” he said, almost hoping someone would answer.
Nigel didn’t come around anymore after that. Adam tried to tell himself it was better he didn’t. All throughout the week the customers seemed sad to hear that Nigel had decided not to work at the shop.
‘He was so charming, you know? I don’t think I’ve ever felt so flattered when he told me I looked fifty five!’
‘If he does come back, can you give him my number?’
‘I’ll miss hearing him every time I came in for Vincent’s bouquets. At least he didn’t tell me I was too flashy.’
Adam didn’t know what to say so he didn’t say much of anything, even to nice customers who knew he could get overwhelmed easily and patted his hand after a day of endless inquiry.
“Are you all right, dear?” Mrs. Graham said, “You look upset.”
Mrs. Graham was one of Adam’s favorite customers, because her husband Charlie had been an astronaut before his death and she liked Adam to make her bouquets that would “remind Charlie of the stars.”
He smiled, “Yes, I’m fine. It’s been a very long day.”
She squeezed his hand, “I know you enjoyed Nigel better than all of us.”
Adam blushed, “It doesn’t matter.”
“Adam, if you…”
Adam took his hand away, shaking his head, “No, it’s…I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
She sighed, “Okay, sweetheart. Can you bring me one of Charlie’s favorites?”
Adam nodded and went to the back, letting out a long breath and trying not to imagine Nigel sitting on one of the stool’s offering him a chip even though Adam didn’t like crunchy things.
It had only been a few months, but it felt like Nigel had become a permanent fixture in his life that somehow got ripped out.
Adam shook his head and headed for the cooler, grabbing Mrs. Graham’s bouquet and heading outside again.
She smiled when she saw what he was holding. “Oh! The blue ones! He would have loved the blue ones!”
He handed it over and she paid in full, turning to leave.
The bell on the door rattled as she left and Adam looked at his phone to check the time.
Only another fifteen minutes and he could close the shop for the weekend.
The bell chimed again and Adam looked up, noticing a man he’d never seen before walk inside carrying a canvas bag at his side. The tall set of the man’s shoulders seemed intimidating, his smirk was strangely informal for someone Adam was sure he’d never met before.
“Hello.”
The man smiled wider as he got closer, putting his hand on the counter.
“You must be Adam.”
Adam frowned, “Yes.”
The stranger looked at him for far too long, the expression on his face making Adam uneasy. “Prettier than she was by miles, he was right about that. I can’t believe he didn’t tell me about this fucking place till now. It’s been months, the stupid fuck couldn’t even tell me he got a new job?”
Adam wrinkled his nose. “I don’t like it when people swear, and you’re being very rude. If you’re not here to buy flowers…”
The man shook his head, reaching into his bag and handing Adam something strange.
“Here you go, darling,” he laughed, “He made it himself, you know? Out of fucking macaroni and I laughed for two hours when he had to scrub the shit glue off his hands. Then the asshole didn’t even come to give it, or fucking send the damn thing.”
Adam’s eyes widened, turning over what was the strangest bouquet he’d ever laid eyes on. A combination of many different noodles in various colors, the light from the front window bouncing off of them all as he turned to view each and every part.
“Nigel,” he looked up, vision blurred, “Nigel made this.”
The stranger smiled, holding out his hand that Adam took.
“Name’s Darko, and you’re fucking welcome. Now could you throw the asshole a bone because he’s been dragging his ass around my house for a week. My wife is gonna kill him if I don’t fix this.”
Adam swallowed, “Where is he?”
Darko grinned, “Sitting in the fucking park like he does every night hoping you’ll show. I told him he’s fucking insane.”
Adam’s heart leapt in his chest.
“He remembered.”
Darko leaned back and stared at him, “Are you leaving or not? I can drive you but…”
Adam shook his head, “No, I…I have to close up the store, I…”
Darko grabbed his hand, “Well come on then, Pretty, let’s get a fucking move on. I don’t have all day!”
Adam snatched his hand away and Darko went out the door, waiting for him to turn off the lights and lock behind them. He looked at the time and saw it was still early, the unease that came with throwing off his schedule, making anxiety creep up that he tried to peg down.
“You okay, Pretty?”
Adam glared, “That’s not my name.”
Darko grinned. “No, you look like a fucking angry cat when you do that little teeth peek. No wonder Nigel is so fucking gone over his pretty little Star.”
Adam felt his cheeks redden, “You said you would…drive me.”
Darko pointed to the motorcycle that was parked not far from Adam’s curb.
“Hop on.”
After the first block was cleared Adam was starting to think he should’ve just walked. Four blocks wasn’t that far, at least he wouldn’t be in total danger on foot. Not like now with Nigel’s friend and his reckless driving
When they pulled up near the park Adam immediately got up, yanking off his helmet to get air and calm himself down.
“You all right, Pretty?”
He glared. “I dislike you.”
Darko grinned. “He’s by the fountain.”
Adam turned and left, his body still shaking even as he headed towards the large fountain. He was happy that Nigel had remembered their discussion about he and his father going stargazing, that Adam had wanted to try again after his father died and hadn’t gotten up the courage to do so.
The first few benches were empty when Adam went by them, stopping just short of the last and staring at Nigel whose head was tilted up staring into the sky. Adam moved slowly and sat down beside him, looking up just the same.
“The moon is particularly bright tonight.”
Nigel nearly jumped out of his skin, staring at Adam with wide eyes.
“Adam, you’re…”
Adam held up the bouquet. “Did you make this for me?”
Nigel blushed, glaring at the bouquet as if it had offended him. “Fucking Darko.”
Adam let out a breath. “Why were you so angry with me? I didn’t…”
Nigel’s head shot up. He sighed, “I…fuck, it wasn’t you Star. I swear it wasn’t you.”
Adam clutched the bouquet tighter, “You would barely look at me.”
“You deserve so much better, Adam. Fuck, you deserve a fucking life with someone who…”
Adam moved closer, “I missed you,” he put his hand on Nigel’s cheek, “I missed the way you smelled, even the cigarettes. I missed you stealing my macaroni when you thought I wasn’t looking, chewing so fast you’d choke. I…”
Nigel kissed him hard, pulling them so close that Adam fell on top of him and the bouquet crashed to the sidewalk. Neither of them noticed, breathless in their kisses even when they parted.
“Tell me,” Adam prodded, “I…”
“I thought I’d,” he pressed a kiss to Adam’s mouth again, “Taken advantage. I…fuck, I didn’t….”
Adam took his hand and squeezed, “I’m not a virgin,” Adam pressed down hard in his lap making Nigel groan, “I know what I want and I…”
Nigel put his finger across Adam’s lips. “No more, Star. I can’t have you making me attack you in the park so we’ll both be arrested.”
Adam took Nigel’s finger into his mouth, sucking and staring at Nigel. The shiver he got in return made him smile.
“I really mean it, Star. Get up,” he took his finger back and Adam kissed him.
“I missed you.”
Nigel pressed a kiss to his lips again, groaning, “I missed your fucking smell too, Star. Flowers and macaroni,” he breathed in, “There ain’t nothing like it in the whole fucking world.”
Adam smiled and stood up, holding out his hand for Nigel to take.
The touch of their hands together was different this time, more important somehow, and when he picked up the bouquet he frowned seeing some pieces had broken off.
Nigel kissed his cheek, “I’ll make you another one.”
Adam smiled, leaning into Nigel’s side. “I want one with blue paint on it,” he explained, “And glitter.”
“Don’t push your luck.”
Adam laughed.
A week later he had two macaroni bouquets displayed behind the counter and one was decorated just as he’d specified, though the glued on stars were Nigel’s own idea.
Several of the customers thought it was the cutest thing they’d ever seen and soon macaroni bouquets became a fixture of the store much to Nigel’s horror.
Darko ordered the very first one and gave it to Adam with a card that read:
You’re fucking welcome.