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Raqio was someone who had a number of likable and admirable qualities, but the main one in Remnan's eyes was how they looked at others. Raqio looked at people with a gaze that bordered on apathy. Those eyes didn't linger over anyone's features; those eyes didn't savor anyone's looks. They were the complete opposite of the monstrous entities who gazed at Remnan the same way a sadistic predator would. They didn't look at Remnan like their daily sustenance included licking up his terror and suffering.
It was comforting, to say the least.
It was the main reason why he agreed to the other's surprising invitation to return to Gliese with him.
The number of entities, human or otherwise, who extended their hands out to him wasn't even enough to cover one hand. It was pathetic of him to cling to these bits of kindness, like a stray dog who salivated for scraps, but that was how things were. Shame and dignity were concepts from a time long gone for someone like him.
This time, the shame that prickled at him was less about his own and more about how he could affect the other.
He couldn't help but admire Raqio; at the same time, he couldn't help but flinch at how dazzling the other was. Raqio exuded the confidence of someone who knew what he was doing and what other people were doing at the same time. Everything appeared easy when faced with Raqio.
That was why, Remnan couldn't help but be drawn to them. Bustling places made him wary, as each unseen corner could be a place where That Person could hide and stalk him. But he trotted after Raqio anyway. He internally debated whether he should reach out and hold the other's vibrant-colored sleeve to keep themselves tethered together.
Raqio proved his prowess at reading the situation. They reached back and grasped his wrist, and dragged him alongside him as they traversed the streets of Gliese. The markets were drab and dull; each shop was prefaced by lists of wares and their respective prices. The extent of the advertisement ended there; the people of Gliese believed that its citizens would purchase goods based on cold, hard facts. Against this backdrop of dullness, Raqio was the most colorful thing in the stretch of several meters.
In the days afterward, Raqio remained the sole colorful spark.
They argued their case for a revolution, for an overhaul of this planet. They gave speeches that presented logical points to ignite passion upon the listeners.
Remnan stayed beside them like a glitchy shadow. With Raqio as the center of attention, nobody looked at the white-haired man hunched over beside them. It was comforting. Remnan despised attention, as that only led to trouble for him. He'd rather nobody notice him, instead of having someone fawn over him or comment over his looks. People who 'appreciated his beauty' never had good intentions for him, after all.
Eventually, more and more people joined Raqio's cause.
Remnan see-sawed between his desire to stay beside Raqio's comforting presence, and to avoid being near such a bright flame. A part of him wanted to step out of his comfort zone, while another part of him wanted to just furl into himself and sink deeper into a shell untouched by others. A part of him said that he would appear unattractive to the people of Gliese who only harbored a desire for logic and intellect. Another part of him dreaded the scenario of others' gazes lingering on his face longer than a second.
And Raqio understood him best.
With one elbow atop the huge circular desk that served as the focal point of the 'war room', they looked at him for a moment. Then, they shifted and patted their thighs.
For a moment, Remnan's mind went blank.
Kneeling in front of someone else was something that he had an unfortunate amount of experience on. Even after decades of running away, the sensation of that restrictive collar around his neck still lingered.
It was different this time. Raqio didn't consider him a pet. Raqio had no need for pets. Raqio just knew what would resolve his contradicting desires.
Remnan slowly crawled under the table, and settled himself between Raqio's slim legs. It was dark under the table. The voices of the people who joined Raqio's cause were muffled, as if the space underneath the table was cleaved away from the rest of the room. Here, nobody could see him nuzzle against Raqio's kneecap. Here, nobody could see how his disordered breathing returned to normal as he breathed in the scent of Raqio's clothes. Here, he could stay close to Raqio and Raqio alone, without worrying about anyone else.
Eventually, he became relaxed enough that he could stretch his neck and shoulders outside of their usual hunch. Raqio would tell him if he was a burden; they wouldn't mince words with him, and they wouldn't make them suffer by toying with him with cruel wordplay that hid murderous intentions behind gaudy silk. So Remnan harbored some bits of confidence when he stretched out and started to make himself more comfortable. He shifted so that his face was pillowed on the other's thighs, close enough that he could nose along the soft length tucked inside the other's pants.
That part too, was different from Remnan's tormentor. It was yet another way that Raqio's presence was comforting to him. They were different from That Person in every way. Even when Remnan continued to breathe near that area, Raqio's body remained in the same tranquil state. Raqio didn't change into some starving beast, didn't change into some perverse monster.
Raqio truly was perfect for someone like him.
Remnan could have wept with joy, if he could.
But that would only bring trouble to Raqio, if he ended up leaving wet tracks of tears all over their pants. So Remnan settled for the next best thing, which was to make a personal vow to help Raqio along with their goals, if it meant that he could stay by their side like this a little bit more often.
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