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kinger was the eldest one in the circus, being there the longest.
he was insane in the light, and sane in the dark. happened after queenies abstraction. yet, even still, caine viewed him as a dad, the memories they had still stored in his memory bank.
caine couldn’t pin point it, but kinger had been acting more odd than usual after the whole incident with him. he'd been more tired and irritable, staying in his pillow fort almost all day. albeit having that same insanity to him, yet, this new kind of behaviour had been happening for a few days now. it worried caine.
the rest of the cast were on an adventure except for zooble, that was a given.... and kinger.
caine knocked on the pillow fort, his usual joyous tone dialed down a bit.
"kinger my buzzing bee, are you in there? i‐i just want to have a chat!"
there was no response.
none.
only the sound of quiet, albeit more insane mumbling than usual.
"k‐kinger...?"
caine entered cautiously, shutting the pillow-door thing behind him.
caines blue and green eyes adjusted to the dark, then widened.
kinger was abstracting.
his hand and half of his right eye was glitching with black, eyes showing up on the black areas... some of it going down to his purple robe. kinger was the oldest one here, did he... finally break?
tears threatened to well in caines eyes, but he wiped them away. he'd grieve later.
once kinger fully abstracted, he tore the pillows to shreds, and started knocking some things over. caine noticed this after a few minutes, and went to a spot where the pillows weren't in the way. he teleported what was left of kinger above the celler, and put him in... well... atleast he could see his wife again.
caines feet touched the floor with a soft thud, shutting the celler as all of the abstracted eyes, most notably kingers; looked at him.
caine had a hollow expression on his face, his denture teath shut, he sighed, and opened them again. snapping as he undid all the damage. he then walked over to the pillows, and teleported a purple one to his room.
god.
he felt sick.
caine heard the portal open, and teleported to the stage, wiping his eyes before he spoke, forcing that joy into his eyes, even if he felt nothing at all right now, like a huge wave of protective emptiness had washed over him, sheilding him from any harm.
"hello my dancing dumplings! how was the adventure?"
"atleast there was violence this time!" jax said, still having that smug tone.
"..." pomni didn't say anything.
"it was... uh... creative!" ragatha said, having a slight, but barely noticable unsure tone.
"i-i think i'll have nightmares..." gangle said, looking around before noticing the pillow fort.
pillows were scattered everywhere.
gangle didn't point it out, maybe kinger was just having an in‐house adventure with the gloinks again...?
yeah, that was it.
kinger was fine.
after hearing their feedback, caine disappeared without a word. no remarks, nothing.
just silence.
the rest of the circus members looked at eachother, usually caine would have some sort of dramatic exit...
as caine teleported back to his office, his face fell as he dropped his cane, putting his hat on the desk. sighing.
that's another one down.
he couldn't remember the names of the previous abstracted members, save for kaufmo, but this felt... different.
caine and kinger had sort of a bond after a few years of the white chess peice being there. but, now that he was gone, caine just felt... completely hollow inside.
caine changed his outfit into a dark red sweater and gray shorts, not the outfit he'd usually wear, but it was his 'sleep‐wear'.
caine just shut the door behind him with an exhausted sigh. that same feeling of hopelessness creeping inside of him.
caine walked over to the bed, he climbed into bed, grabbing onto the purple pillow with all his might, sobbing into it.
he let out a muffled scream, his body shaking as he cried miserably on the bed. not even a few minutes and he was already breaking down.
his dentures shut, his body curling up more as his grip on reality started to fall apart.
the circus began to distort and glitch, textures missing, things clipping in and out of the map... there was even a bluescreen a couple times, makimg all the circus members outside, except for jax, flinch.
and it was like that for an hour.
after that hour, caine finally calmed down, his eyes glazed with exhaustion and his eyes being gray‐ish and having that static overlay.
"uhhh... boss, are you going to announce the-"
bubble took in just how broken caine looked right now, like, christ, his eyes were nearly gray.
"..."
bubble stayed silent, speaking up after a bit.
"b-boss-"
"..."
"..."
bubble just popped himself out of existence, clearly caine wanted to be alone, but...
...they couldn't help but worry.
the next day went by like a blur, yet so slow. caine couldn’t get himself to get out of bed or do anything, so he just laid there in bed, staring at nothing in particular.
his circuits and processor were foggy, he couldn't think straight at all, his normally coherent thoughts were all jumbled up; to where they didn't make sense.
caine rolled over, looking up at the celling, letting out a soft noise as he did.
before anyone else had knew it, it'd been days.
days since anyone had seen him.
kingers "funeral" had happened, yet he couldn't even find the motivation or energy to get out of bed and get dressed. he just stayed in his room, letting his dark thoughts comsume him.
he heard a knock on the door, but ignored it, his unfocused, hazy eyes staring at the celling.
"bosss!~"
caine didn't give a reply.
why should he even care what anyone did anymore?
it's pointless.
"boss! you-... oh."
bubble shut up, just looking at how worse caine seemed compared to a few days ago.
first, he wasn't wearing his usual ringmaster gettup, again, he was actually wearing a red sweater. he didn't have his hat on, it was probably somewhere on his messy desk outside. and he was just wearing some gray shorts, and he didn't have his shoes on.
second, which was the most concerning, the spark in his eyes bubble had gotten used too; fake or not, wasn’t there at all, atleast before he had some kind of spark... his usual bright eyes were glazed over, they were tired and red around the rims like he'd been crying nonstop for days; his eyes had an even more gray-ish tone to them than before... and the more obvious static overlay.
"boss, y-you..."
caine didn't respond, too stuck in his own head to give a response.
god, he just wanted to shut down.
caine heard a voice a few minutes later, his systems ignoring it.
he didn't want to respond. it felt like too much. too much effort to do anything. so why even try. right?
there wasn’t a point.
nobody liked his adventures anyway.
he didn't want to move ever again. he just wanted to stay here in the beds soft, lulling embrace. albeit fake or not. he couldn't muster the energy to care, anyways.
caine was feeling a whirlwind of things, still lost in thought as pomni picked him up and shook him, his one arm lazily, but firmly grabbing the same purple pillow from that day.
he just stared back at pomni with a blank expression as she continued talking.
'god, im so tired.'
'why can't i shut down already...?'
'why'd everything hurt so much...?'
"...what's the point in getting out of bed anymore?... just... l-lemme stop trying..."
he mumbled, pomni froze, registering what he said.
"caine!! snap out of it!!"
pomni just hugged him, yet it had no attempt.
fuck it, she'd call bubble to lick the inside of his mouth or something.
"bubble!"
"huh? yeah pomni?"
"can you lick the inside of caines mouth...? it's the only thing i can think of to get him to snap out of this daze he's in..."
"...uhm...okay..."
it worked.
"h-...huh? wha..."
he took a few minutes to register his surroundings before recoiling back, his eyes still hollow.
"AUUGH, B-BUBBLE!-"
"POMNI SUGGESTED IT!!-"
"IT WAS THE ONLY THING I COULD THINK OF TO SNAP YOU OUT OF YOUR DEPRESSIVE DAZE, AND-"
"...what?"
bubble and caine both looked at pomni.
welp... time for explaining... and a video to watch on burnout can lead to depression... if there even was mp4 service here...
that made alot more sense to caine than he thought.
"...that... probably explains why im so tired all the time now, honestly... also... p‐probably explains why i haven't moved out of bed for days..." caine mumbled, exhaustion lacing him tone.
"boss, why didn't you tell me??"
"i-i just didn’t want to burden you, a-and-..."
"b-boss, you..."
bubble paused, a rare hint of emotion in their voice.
"boss, you aint a fucking burden!!"
bubble snuggled up to caine, genuine tears flowing from the ai assistants eyes.
caine stayed silent, speaking up after a bit.
"...uhm... bubble..? p‐pomni..?"
caine asked, pomni responded after a few seconds.
"yeah..?"
"...how long was i... i‐in that daze for...?"
"boss, you were like that for days. you didn't even get outta bed when i tried screwing with you, it was like you w‐weren't there... a‐and-"
more tears fell down bubbles face as they sobbed, not even trying to hide it.
then they let out a muffled scream into caines chest.
caine gulped.
oh.
he fucked up.
"i... i suppose i'll have to talk to everyone about my current... uh... 'condition'... right?"
"you c‐can if you want... it's up to-"
"huh! didn’t know this place existed!"
"jax!! what are you doing!?"
"eh, just thought i might screw around with caine! it's not every day that-"
caines eye twitched as he slowly got up, softly pushing bubble aside and putting on some actually really cute cat slippers.
caine let out a grumble as he floated to the door and opened it.
he didn't expect to see gangle beating the shit out of jax though.
"...i-..."
everyone, except jax, who was in the room froze, looking at caine. gangle just looked back down and continued beating jax up.
"...you guys always cheer me up in the most ridiculous ways..."
caine muttered, wiping a tear from his eye, yawning softly amd stretching.
"...i-i mean... seriously, it's really funny to see and all, yes, but can you sto-"
a wave of nausea hit him as his feet hit the ground with a thud, his legs shaking. struggling to hold him up.
"hrk-"
his eyes practically turned into a blue and green swirl on each side of his eye. his vision was swirling, it felt like he'd puke, and-
ragatha rushed over to help him, catching him and picking him up. caine didn't protest, just accepting it.
"...i-...i feel sick... i-"
caine immediately threw up on the floor... and a bit of ragatha...
"...s-nnn... sorry..."
bubble began licking the vomit up without a command from caine.
"...im too tired to question... a-any of this... hhhh..."
caine was on his side, his eyes pale. he wasn't sick or anything, just his systems trying to make room for new information (aka the video pomni show him and bubble), which ended up in him being like... this.
bubble was snuggled up against caine, their eyes shut. it was strange seeing bubble so peaceful.
"...mmm..."
caine mumbled something under his breath, curling up even more, exhaustion lacing his usual bright features.
pomni, gangle, and ragatha were beside caine, gangle just drawing, while ragatha and pomni talking about caines current condition.
today would be another weird day... aside from him practically being the human equivalent of having a fever, that is.
a few hours later, caines systems turned on, he felt around... ten percent better.
his dentures opened, his blue and green eyes adjusting too the light... where-
"you're awake!"
"...huh...?"
caine asked sleepily, his eyes half open. still trying to fight off the urge to sleep again.
to be honest, everyone was so used to seeing caine so joyous, so it was weird seeing him this calm and tired.
"uhm...caine...?"
gangle asked, caine looked at her wearily, somewhat focused.
"..mm?"
"wh-why didn’t you go to kingers funeral...?"
caine stayed silent... yeah, she was curious, and only pomni knew the reason, but...
what if they judged him? what if jax specifically went after his insecurities and "depression"? what if-
"c-caine...!"
caine jolted up, his eyes snapping up at gangle.
"sorry... lost in thought... uh..."
fuck, how should he put this...
"i'll be real, i was... sorta in a 'rut' before kingers abstraction... i still sort of am now... i‐i've known him the longest... i just... i just... didn’t have energy for anything... it's... still sort of persisting now... and..."
gangle hugged him.
"...it... it hurts..."
"..."
jax was standing there, watching the scene unfold, having a good idea to prank caine.
it'd be a good one.
"hey, caine!"
caine teleported over to jax, still not having his ringmaster outfit on.
"yes jax..?"
he asked tiredly, not even processing jax dragging him off the stage.
"i'll be back, ribbons!"
"j‐jax...!"
jax shut his room door with a thud, startling caine.
"awhhh, are you scared?"
"that just... c‐caught me off guard..."
jax didn't really think this through, to be honest.
"soooo, caine, about kinger..."
"..."
"did you even care for him at all?"
"wh-wha-"
"i mean, c'monnnn! you didn't notice how oh so bad he was doing untill he abstracted! i thought he was a "pArEntAl fIgUrE". but, haha, even still..."
jax paused, glaring at caine.
"aren't family suppose to protect eachother from harm?"
jax stepped closer to him as caine backed up.
"you failed him. y'know that, right? even now you're useless. not being able to save the ones who calls you family."
caine just stayed silent, teleporting away as tears filled his eyes.
he cried. he didn't know how long he cried for, but he did.
it burned. it burned so much.
make it stop...
MAKE IT STOP.
...
...
...
...
caine didn't want to wake up ever again.
he just wanted to fall into a peaceful slumber forever, not having to deal with anyone or thier bullshit.
he didn't know what he was feeling. all he knew was that he felt exhausted, his brain having fog that couldn't be shaken.
bubble popped out of his hat, his eyes scanning the desk.
was is just them, or did caines desk, and the room in general look... messier...?
if jax did something, bubble would lick the inside of his ear, his doornob, everything in his room... the works.
bubble pushed opened the door, floating over to caine and snuggling him. caine just turned away, hurting bubbles feelings.
"...leave me alonee..."
caine mumbled, rolling over and putting the comforter over his head, his dentures shutting with a soft click.
"boss, y-you can't keep shutting yourself out like this... it... it isn't healthy... a-and-"
caine just popped them, his arm lazily flopping back down on the matress.
he curled up, hugging the purple pillow closer to him, tears falling down his face, hitting his tounge as he sobbed, his body shaking. the salty tears leaving caine with a bitter taste in his mouth, but he didn't have the energy to wipe them away.
well, not anymore.
at this point, it'd been days, almost weeks since the last adventure, everyone was talking, oblivious to caines decaying mental health.
he had to do something to release the pain inside of him...
caine teleported to the debug room, a place where he used to test his adventures, but he had lost his passion for it long ago.
he landed on the floor with a thud, the cold of the room embracing him. unfinished and abandoned projects layed stagnent, not being touched, left to dust and rot.
just like him.
caine looked at the abandoned projects, his eyes bleary he stared at the purple pillow, letting his thoughts comsume him more.
he stayed silent, memories of him, queenie, and kinger flooding through his mind.
was it really his fault?
maybe it was. he's always blamed himself for these abstractions.
it felt exhausting to put his ringmaster persona up when he didn't... no, couldn't feel anything, not anymore.
he didn't even have the mental energy to make anything, his once bright ideas full of hope now running low. his usual bright eyes turning more gray, to where it was a mix of his hetrochromic eyes and a dark, depressing gray.
he felt... uneasily empty.
he just felt so tired, so empty. hell, even his tears had run dry, he had no more tears to cry, yet his body still reacted to his sobs, flinching and shaking as he struggled to come to grips with kingers abstraction.
bubble was there though, wide-eyed as they took in just how exhausted caine was with everything.
caine was getting worse, and bubble couldn't do much to help. they didn't understand emotions like the humans stuck in the circus did.
...
buble was at a loss for words, the usual energetic, chaotic creature having a hint of... guilt in their eyes.
...god.
...why didn't they notice sooner...