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Illi envies the girls at the skate rink.
She has never been good at skating — or sports in general, aside from croquet, and even that is only because she had to join a sports team for credit, she had no choice but to get somewhat decent at it. Frank keeps telling her that she is good enough to be on the team, but Illi doubts it. Frank is trying to be supportive, and while Illi appreciates the effort she can’t live her life with the illusion of being even remotely talented when it comes to sport, and skating is the prime example of why she has to be realistic. The rink at the local mall — the only one in town — is usually occupied by popular kids who, last time Illi tried to learn how to skate, made sure to laugh every time Illi lost her balance and fell. Frank was trying to cheer her up but the humiliation was too strong and Illi abandoned the idea of ever learning to skate.
And now Frank has brought her to New York for the holidays (Illi doesn’t want to think about how much money he had to spend on this trip and where he got it in the first place) and took her to the ice rink in Central Park. Because obviously Illi hasn’t had enough humiliation in her life.
Illi awkwardly stands in the corner of the rink, watching other skaters. She has to hold onto the board to keep the balance — her body clearly isn't made for this, and she feels so awkward and out of place. And to make things worse, all the girls around her are so graceful and pretty. She wants to feel pretty too — she is even wearing a skirt, one of her most favourite ones, and this is the first time she's going out in public looking all feminine since forever, and she doesn't feel pretty at all.
She should have told Frank she didn't want to go skating. They could have thought of something else to do — after all, they have an entire week ahead of them, and New York is huge, there must be more than enough activities that don’t involve skating. But Frank has disappeared in the crowd, and Illi can’t exactly go looking for him, not when her knees are so wobbly and she feels like she is about to fall at any given moment. Illi can’t even be angry at him: he wants to have fun just as much as she does, why would he want to be stuck with her all the time?
“Hey, Illi!” Frank skates towards her, ignoring people around him giving him stern looks as he makes his way to the board. “I found us a good spot.”
“I think I’m fine here,” Illi mutters.
Frank gently takes her arm.
“Come on, it’s not far,” he says.
“I still can’t skate,” Illi huffs.
“That’s the point,” Frank grins. “I’m gonna show you how.”
With these words he drags Illi forward as she clings onto his arms, desperately trying to keep her balance. Frank’s posture is surprisingly steady for someone who has to drag another person all across the skating rink to a remote spot with barely any people around.
“Alright,” Frank says when they finally come to a stop. “Let’s give it a try.”
Illi takes an anxious look around. Nobody is watching her for now, but she is almost certain that the moment she falls everyone’s attention will be focused on her.
“I don't think I want to,” Illi mutters.
“Come on, I’ve got you!”
Frank lets go of her hand and Illi almost collapses on the ice, Frank barely manages to catch her.
“I’m here,” he says softly. “I’ll catch you if you fall.”
It's small reassurance, but reassurance nonetheless. Illi takes a deep breath and tries to relax. Frank’s got her. She knows she can trust him to catch her, and still she is too aware of the people around them. She wants to refuse, wants to ask Frank to drag her around the rink — and she knows how selfish this is; Frank wants to have fun too, not babysit his girlfriend all day, — but Frank is smiling at her in reassurance, and she has to try. Even if she fails and becomes the laughing stock of the entire New York City, she has to try.
Slowly, carefully, Frank lets go of her and skates a few feet away.
“Ready when you are,” he says, and Illi takes it as a signal to begin moving forward.
She falls almost immediately. Frank barely manages to lurch forward and catch her before her knees touch the ice.
“Okay, let’s try again.”
Nobody is watching them, Illi realises. Nobody is laughing at her, nobody makes any comments about her clumsiness. It’s fine. She’s fine.
She tries again. This time she manages to skate a bit further before Frank has to catch her. The process is slow but Illi is making progress: she manages to cover a bit more distance each time, and she learns how to keep her balance, how to glide without falling. She feels like a toddler being taught how to walk.
And then she just… does it. She can't believe that what felt like a nearly impossible task before has been so easy all this time. She makes a small lap, picking up speed as she goes, with Frank staying by her side just in case she loses her footing.
Illi is too late to realise she has no idea how to stop. She turns to Frank in an attempt to get closer to him only to barrel into him at full speed. Frank lets out a quiet “Oof” as their bodies collide, awkwardly flaps his arms trying to stay upright but before he can save the situation both of them end up on the ice, with Illi landing on top of Frank.
I’m sorry, Illi wants to squeak but the words get stuck in her throat. Frank’s cheeks and the tip of his nose are red from the cold, and he’s panting slightly, and Illi swears she could kiss him right now.
Frank seems to have read her mind. Instead of trying to get up he pulls her closer and gently presses his lips against hers. For a few moments they stay like this, holding each other close and ignoring the cold, until Frank groans and tries to get up.
“My fuckin’ ass is freezing,” he complains, and Illi giggles at these words.
She doesn’t regret agreeing to go to the ice rink anymore. Not when Frank is holding her hand as they’re about to join all the other skaters, and there is a bubbly feeling rising in her chest, and she thinks she has never been happier in her life.