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Hirose didn’t go to the bookstore often.
Reading had never called to him in that way, no matter how much his parents and teachers had tried to push it on him. He only ever went on the rare occasion to pick up the month’s copy of Shonen Jump. Even then, his copies ended up in the hands of his friends more often than not. What was the point of keeping a book he had already read?
He heaved out a sigh, looking left and right from the entrance way.
His sister wanted him to buy the newest addition of a BL series she was reading—these kinds of tasks always fell on him to do. Swamped with overtime at work, she insisted that Hirose go and get a copy before they sold out. Why she needed to read it as soon as possible? Beat him.
He stumbled around the bookstore cluelessly. The lights overhead felt harsh and blinding, illuminating the building in a sheer white glow. Every row of shelves blended together in a monotonous sea of sleek oak hardwood and flashy plastic book covers. How was he supposed to navigate the aisles when every corner looked identical to the last? Couldn't the place have signs that actually made sense?
He perked up when, after floundering through the store for another ten minutes, he spotted Nakamura hunched over a tiny tome at the end of an aisle. There was not an ounce of hesitation in his mind as he skipped over and grabbed Nakamura's shoulders from behind.
“Hey, Nakamura!”
Nakamura jumped, nearly dropping the book in his hands but managing to secure it right before it tipped onto the floor.
There was a moment where the two of them stared at one another, Hirose patiently waiting with a smile and Nakamura staring with wide eyes.
Eventually, Nakamura straightened up, rubbing his eyes once then nodding meekly.
“Hello,” he murmured.
Hirose grinned, giving Nakamura’s shoulder a gentle shove.
“Hey, you don’t have to act so shy, we’re friends!”
Hirose always felt guilty for the way that Nakamura seemed to clam up around him. He appreciated the budding friendship that the two of them had, and although they hadn’t had the opportunity to share many moments just between the two of them, he couldn’t help but find a comfort in Nakamura’s presence.
Hirose didn’t feel the need to perform in front of Nakamura. He was free to smile or frown if he wanted to and Nakamura never insisted on Hirose participating in anything. Hirose only hoped that it was the same for Nakamura. Every time that Nakamura stiffened or stuttered out a reply, Hirose feared that the solace of their relationship was one-sided.
“What are you doing here?” Nakamura finally asked.
Hirose groaned and leaned back against a bookshelf. The weight of his back pushed a few of the titles further into the shelf, and Nakamura made an audible hiss as he reached to rearrange the books.
“My stupid sister wanted me to come by and pick up a copy of some BL manga she’s reading. Can you believe it? Why send your younger brother out to get that? Couldn’t she do that herself?” he complained, crossing his arms and glancing to the side with a pout.
Nakamura didn’t respond for a moment, and Hirose raised an eyebrow as he also averted his gaze, his cheeks flushing with colour. Hirose couldn’t help but recall his anxiety; was Nakamura uncomfortable around him? Maybe the two of them weren’t so safe after all? Nakamura is probably judging him right now for what his sister wants him to buy. Maybe Nakamura finds it uncomfortable to speak to Hirose. Is Nakamura honest with him?
“Oh, does she read BL often?” Nakamura asked.
Hirose nodded absentmindedly.
“Yeah, she started getting into it recently. She’s bought like a million manga. You wouldn’t believe it. I didn’t even—remember when someone brought a BL to school last year? That was the first time I even realized that people made books like that.”
“Do you think it’s… strange?”
Hirose glanced to Nakamura, posture straight, satchel slung over his shoulder and manga clutched tightly in his hands. He focused on the cover of the book, then jumped up, pointing emphatically to the front of the volume.
“That’s the book my sister wants! Do you read BL too? This is perfect! I knew that talking to you would help.”
Nakamura immediately hid the manga away from view, shuffling it behind his back and stepping back in panic.
“No, no, I— this isn’t— I just happened to pick this up. I had no idea— I mean, what even is a BL anyway?” Nakamura said.
Hirose shook his head and swiftly grabbed the book from Nakamura’s grasp, taking a good luck at the cover. There were two guys pictured together, surrounded by pastel cream puffs, and bento boxes. Their faces were close in proximity, lips inches away as they gazed towards each other in what could only be described as longing. Each of their limbs were entangled together in a tender mess, their arms intertwined in careful holds and their legs raveled together like they wished they could become even closer.
He flipped open the book, scanning the pages as Nakamura peered at him in silence. The story was a bit more sweet than he usually went for. The characters clung to each other with words as syrupy and gooey as caramel and he couldn’t make sense of why the two of them had such a fixation on sharing their lunch boxes with each other.
He leafed through a few pages, tracing the pages with long, arching illustrations, then, carefully handed the manga back to Nakamura by the spine.
“Hey, it’s not my kind of thing, but it’s no big deal if you read that kind of stuff, Nakamura. It’s kind of cool, I never thought about two guys being in love before.”
Nakamura fidgeted with the book for a moment before nodding, granting him a timid smile.
“It— yeah. It’s actually really interesting. People might steer away because it’s two guys but… I don’t think that it’s any different than the romance that other people might read. And… and I think that there are stories that you can only tell because the characters are men. This manga doesn’t just diminish the story to the two of them being guys though, it takes the time to develop their friendship with each other. They learn to enjoy each other’s company and find love through what they both enjoy the most, making lunches. There’s a comfort between the two characters, they feel free to be their most honest selves with each other—”
While he was speaking, he had been keeping his gaze on the pages of the manga, flipping through each section like he was watchfully detailing every feature of the story. As he finished though, Nakamura suddenly seemed to catch himself, and pressed the book close to his chest.
“Ah! I’m sorry if I’m boring you.”
“No! No, please go on,” Hirose smiled, “I like hearing you talk about what you like.”
Nakamura took in a breath and hesitantly continued.
Maybe they were both comfortable with each other after all.