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Chapter Text

A Second Chance at Peace

Merlin and Sasha were up in the middle of the night. There was nothing sneaky or suspicious in this. It was actually fairly common anymore. Every six nights or so Merlin would tell his guardian Gaius of his desire for a more private conversation and walk up to his friend Sasha's room. As long as he didn't stay much past literal midnight, no one seemed to have a problem with it. The problem was that Sasha seemed to barely be noticing his presence, and he'd been there for over an hour.
“I could make a living as a story teller, if I had the concentration for it.” Sasha told her friend suddenly, not bothering to sit up from her 'couch'.
“How do you mean?” The wizard inquired, politely curious.
“I could tell my sister Grace's adventures as fanciful stories.” She clarified a moment later. “Or even my own adventures, from before I came here.”
“You remember your older travels?” Merlin stated, now thoroughly interested.
“Of course Merlin. I never meant to imply otherwise. I don't remember them in personal detail and I've not mentioned them much cause I knew it would be unwise to live in the past. There are a few things in both the sea of stars and the breadth of the ancient world that would seem both relevant and well, meaningful here. Or so I guess. And I take it by the look on your face, you want me to tell you one of those stories now.”
“If you can think of one that means a lot to you and you think would resonate with me, absolutely.”
“Alright, imagine if you will a ship traveling through the stars as easily as sailors travel the seas. And while most of the crew is perfectly human, there are two strange beings. One a warrior whose race was once considered an enemy. And one an android...a constructed being...built by a human scientist and whose one desire is to be as human-like as possible...knowing he can never fully achieve his goal...”
She proceeded to tell the story of the android's trial to determine his rights and status, convened by the organization called 'starfleet' and the assertion that this constructed being was nothing but property. The trial's conclusion being that this android was a strange but sentient life-form with free will and possibly a soul. She did her best to tell nothing more or less than the story itself as it had been told her by her sister Grace. When she was finished she sat up and stared at her dearest friend.
“You honestly expect me to believe this ever could happen?” Merlin stated simply.
“The events themselves, of course not.” Sasha answered bluntly but politely. “Being widely accepted for who and what you are, though not quite publicly acknowledged, absolutely!”
“I don't understand.” Merlin admitted.
“Data's friends already knew and accepted what was made public policy that day. To them it was what we call a 'no brainer'...self-evident and true. I honestly believe that most people who know you here, couldn't care about the legal ban on magic if they knew the what as well as the who of your being. And I just realized I'm supposed to ride out with Sir Leon and Sir Percival tomorrow around 9 am...not long after breakfast.”
“A not so subtle hint to take what you've told me and hide it in my heart, as well as leave this alone for now and go to sleep.” Merlin inferred. Sasha nodded and with well wishes and what Sasha referred to as a wave of peace, Merlin left his friend alone.

“Remind me again, why you're out here with us?” Sir Leon queried as the path turned further South, past the last of the thick trees. “Not that I mind the company, because I don't.” He added hurriedly. “It's just a little odd having you this far from Camelot when you don't usually leave the castle.”
“Well I can't deny that.” The young woman answered confidently, slowing her horse down so Sir Leon could catch up. “I'm afraid the only explanation I have is this: I've an irrational belief that something is about to change for the better, and I want to be present when it does.”
“You've piqued my attention.” Sir Percival commented from the woman's forward left.
“I think I might meet someone on this journey who will have an integral part in bringing a splendid change in the heart of my first friend.” Sasha clarified. And after a moment of thought, she continued. “And I would ask that you not require me to explain further.”
“I wasn't about to.” Sir Leon answered honestly. Whatever he would have added to his statement, if anything at all, was silenced by the appearance of two strangers right in the middle of the road. It took several moments to take in all of their appearance, and it will take almost as long to tell it.
The black haired gentleman was dressed in a dark red shirt that came just past his elbows, and a thin black vest that knotted over his chest and came in a V just below his heart. The other man had skin paler than Merlin's and short-cropped brown hair that seemed to blow in the wind. His clothing was far simpler: white cotton shirt and rough brown vest that seemed to be made of one piece of fabric, and had a pocket just at the man's right ribs. Both men were about the same height and wore trousers of a study brown material, but what material it exactly was the knights could not guess.
“Greetings strangers.” Sir Percival announced to the pair.
“Good day gentleman.” The black haired man answered cordially. “Would I seem impolite to ask where in the country we are?”
“Strange yes, impolite not at all.” Sir Leon answered slowly. “You're in the Southern plains of the kingdom of Camelot.” Both knights noticed a small smile on the paler man's face. “You were heading here?”
The smile vanished as the stranger looking man answered. “Not at all, at least, not expressly. I believe some introduction is in order. Certainly it would be proper before thing become even more...convoluted.”
“How do you mean?” Sir Percival replied curtly. A frown growing on his otherwise childlike face.
“Please, introductions should come first.” The first stranger insisted politely. “My name is Will, Will Riker. And this is...Jayden. At least, that's my own name for him.”
“Alright I'll go along with that.” Sir Percival acquiesced. And after giving the names of himself and his fellow knight, he again asked for clarification of the younger man's choice of words.
“I think he means me.” Sasha answered simply. “Friends, strangers and gentleman all,” She began solemnly. “If I am any judge of anything these two believe they have met me before and are wondering what I'm doing already a part of this story. They are mistaken on both counts.” She caught herself and continued. “I was and am only one of four sisters. They might have met Grace or Sophia before, and simply cannot see the distinction.” She turned to look Riker squarely in the face. “Do I not hit near the mark?”
“Far closer than most would, I expect.” Riker answered cryptically.
“My name is Sasha.” The young woman answered simply. “Or at least it is lately. And for the sake of ending any confusion, I would suggest that we three walk our horses straight back into Camelot proper, with these two right along, and see that either Merlin or Arthur is the first person we introduce them to. To answer what might be a doubt in your minds, this is nothing like how I normally speak. I am simply trying to make a good first impression.”
“You have succeeded at that.” Riker congratulated, grinning spontaneously. “Though I think you would do better simply speaking however is normal for you, as far as being a good host or a mediator.”
“Mediator?” Percival inquired.
Sir Leon sighed and smiled. “He means someone to represent Camelot to them or them to Camelot...true?”
Riker simply nodded and walked up to Sir Leon's horse. “I'm ready to leave whenever you are.” And with that all five turned back to Camelot. Riker was walking beside Sir Leon's horse and Jayden beside Sir Percival's. This time Sasha was leading the pack, not stuck in the middle of it. When they were almost to the gates of Camelot, Sasha pulled her horse to a complete stop. She glanced back at Riker.
'It just struck me sir, unless they are actually right in their conclusions, you might want to clarify that Jayden is not your property or anything like that.' It was a message to the man's mind. One he understood.
“I believe I should make one thing perfectly clear.” Riker stated as he walked to the front of the group and turned back to address all three of his discoverers. “Jayden is my name for my friend, because his given name has no translation. My use of the word is not anything approaching possession, or any affinity even.”
“Sir are you a mind reader or something?” Percival inquired softly but firmly.
“Not at all.” Riker answered simply. “It's only that with his other-origin appearance and my casual reference to his name, it would be easy for strangers to think of him as being any less than my equal. But that is exactly what he is: my equal.”
Jayden as he had been called, smiled shyly. “Quite so my friend. I suggest getting quickly wherever in this city we are headed.”
Sir Leon was forced to smile at the obvious truth. “As soon as we dismount we'll take you to see Merlin and King Arthur, In the citadel.”
“We won't have to wait even that long.” Sasha said as she pointed to the skinny young man bounding up to them as though being chased by happy wolves. He stopped 12 paces away from Sasha's mare.
Leon held up his right hand to stop what Sasha was about to say. “Will Riker, Jayden, please allow me to introduce to you our friend Merlin. Who it seems has an incredibly urgent message for one of us.”
Merlin smiled shyly and exuded his message, without taking his eyes off of Sasha once. “Apparently Arthur has learned to trust Your judgment Sasha. He just told me that on the 'unlikely' occasion our theories pan out I'm to bring your guests directly to him in the great hall and find quarters for their stay. Though even I admit I'm having trouble understanding how you knew about such strangers. I assume by this word from Arthur that you both are welcome here as our guests. I just wonder which of us are to be a guide.”
As they walked up to the citadel Sasha was finding it hard to concentrate. Most people present assumed it was because she had basically been called out as a seer. In reality it was because she'd received a message in her mind. “Sasha I know you can send messages like this. In case you can hear them as well, answer me who these people are. They are almost as strange as you were when you first showed up.”...And was wondering how Sir Leon knew even that much about her.
She knew it was Sir Leon and not Sir Percival because the slightly younger, and certainly plainer knight that was Sir Percival had not been in Camelot, much less a knight of the kingdom, when she'd first showed up. That rank and honor had been bestowed on Percival and three other knights just over two years ago. A gift both given at need and very much earned by deeds and valor. The weightier question was why Sir Leon thought of her initial behavior as 'strange'. The question could only be answered face to face, hopefully alone, so she put it out of her mind. They were just outside of the great hall, and she had something else to think about. By the time they all entered, everyone living in the kingdom had plain, but happy faces on. The strangers had blank yet serene expressions. Merlin moved to stand just behind Arthur in his seat of state, the throne, and Sasha stepped forward to introduce her sister's friends...of course not in those terms.
“My King I present Will Riker and his friend Jayden, travelers from beyond the five kingdoms.” And considering her job done, she walked to stand behind the pair, beside Sir Leon. “I can hear you. I don't know them in any persona detail. If I am right, they are lost friends. I'll treat them as such.” She told his mind.
“Welcome to Camelot.” The king said from his throne. “What brings you here?”
Riker stepped forward a couple of paces. “We are explorers and seafarers. Nothing particularly brings us here except that we haven't been anywhere like it before. Or that is, we haven't been here before.”
“How long do you plan to stay?” Merlin inquired, completely forgetting his 'place'.
“Probably only a couple of days.” Riker answered simply. “People get tired of us after too long.” He would have gone on to say something about his Captain missing his presence on the ship, and not knowing for sure when weather would permit their departure. But two things happened first. Sasha sent him a telepathic message reminding him not to say anything he couldn't take back if he did get his captain's permission, and Sir Leon stepped forward.
“My King, Sasha seems to know these people, or at least they know her. I would hope if they allow themselves to stay, they would be welcome to. I feel excited to learn more about other places and ways.”
King Arthur looked doubtful for a moment. He turned to face Merlin, who placidly stated. “I for one don't see any reason not to try and learn. No matter how strange people seem, there's probably some reason for their arrival...if anything can be learned from that tavern and the Griffin.”
King Arthur suppressed a smile. “Agreed. Merlin will you find suitable rooms for our guests? Sir Leon, Sasha, I'd like a word.”
Merlin and the visitors bowed and left the room Sir Leon and Sasha stood where they were and waited for their lord to speak whatever was on his heart. It took a while.
“Sasha, what do you know of our guests?” King Arthur ventured.
Sasha's answer was so immediate it could have been rehearsed. “They are honest in what little they do say about themselves and while they won't be the most forthcoming individuals while they are here, they do what they think is right and will try to make something better for people here.”
“Any particular something?” Sir Leon prodded.
“They are egalitarian. They might not notice things are better than they were and might try to make an individual's life better, not realizing it already is. They are also philanthropists. They go around doing nothing but good deeds and, I put particular emphasis on this word, trying to help people. To answer what might be your next question...I think they knew one of my sisters. I highly doubt they know me. I cannot say for certain because my memory of who I was before I came here has mostly faded from my mind. But from what I do know, I wouldn't have been interested in their adventures the same way I was drawn to yours. The perplexed look on my face is concern, not doubt...I'm worried about Jayden.”
“In what manner Sasha?” Sir Leon inquired softly.
“I have a suspicion about him, some innate sense that wouldn't make any sense to anyone here. So I both hope I'm wrong and hope I'm up to the challenge if I'm right. My King, if it's alright, I'd like to go back to my room now and try to figure this whole mess out.”
Arthur held up his hand and slightly dropped his head. “I hate to tell you Sasha; I have one more question for you about...how well people know you?”
Sasha looked almost exasperated. “I think everyone who was at that table knows as much about me as they have bothered to be curious enough to openly ask me about. And if you prod me on this any further in front of Sir Leon it will have been You and not I to have dropped that particular veil. Even if I'm the one who says it, the responsibility for it will be yours.”
“Why do I feel like I'm being left out of something pretty important?” Sir Leon remarked.
“Because you are my friend.” Sasha responded in a placid enough voice. “I think you already figured out what Arthur wants me to tell you, or at least most of it. The issue is that Arthur already knew it as well.”
“You knew about her magic?” Sir Leon repeated aloud.
“Merlin told me she has something that can only be explained as such.” Arthur answered. “What I want to know is how strong and, multi-faceted this ability is.”
“Developed at need on a broad range of things. Most of which I can't utilize. I wouldn't worry about or expect its use if I were you.” She paused and looked through her recent memories. “But apparently a door once opened may be stepped through in either direction. Which is to say, if someone prompts or provokes my abilities, they can still work.” Sir Leon blushed. A reaction noticed by the others present. Who very wisely, elected to ignore it. “Either way, I'm not eager to expose my own abilities to these strangers, at least until I figure out why they feel so familiar to me at all. So, whether you were asking about the knights of the round table or our guests, the proverbial ball is in their court...not mine.”
“I have to say I concur.” Sir Leon stated plainly.
“I won't give any orders about this; use your best judgments both of you. But Sasha, be careful.” King Arthur told his friends. He promptly dismissed them and they departed in peace.
In the meantime Merlin was having almost as interesting a conversation with the visitors.
“I believe you will be comfortable here.” The young servant wizard stated plainly, having led the pair to one of the higher rooms in the palace.
“I am certain we will.” Jayden answered simply. “But if I could trouble you for a moment?” Merlin nodded. “Regardless of how long we are here, I believe it would be most helpful and appropriate to have some one guide us in what will be expected of us during our stay.”
“I completely agree sir.” Merlin replied. And catching a look in the man's pale face he hesitated. “Are you asking me to be that guide?”
Riker smiled suddenly. “At least as far as telling us who we're going to meet while we're here and who not to offend, yes.” The smile vanished as he seemed to realize the man probably had other duties. “What is your position here anyway?”
“Officially I am Arthur's servant.” The younger man answered without thinking. “Lately those duties have been very light so it has left me with time for other things. Especially making friends with the knights; and strengthening my friendship with Sasha.”
Jayden lowered his gaze for a split second. When Merlin asked if he was alright, the response was cryptic.“I have a question that will make me sound like either a seer or a fool.”
Riker chuckled at that. “Ask it anyway. That's the only way to know if you're correct in that conclusion.”
“Have some of this kingdom's knights only recently achieved that honor?”
“Data you are the most insatiably curious individual I've ever known.” Riker groaned softly. “And I think that was a near miss.”
“I'm sorry I don't understand.” Merlin half pondered half pressed.
“He's asking if anyone raised simply have been given knighthood and are only just getting used to the honor. Although how that conclusion entered his head I have no clue.”
“Well, that answer is yes.” Merlin answered simply. “Two years ago Arthur and I along with a bunch of friends led a charge to retake Camelot from Morganna...Arthur's half-sister. Those young men who were not already knights were knighted for their valor and loyalty. Why do you ask?”
Riker fidgeted. “Merlin, forgive me but we are basically strangers, and I don't want to make anyone any less alright with us than they already are. The only honest answer we can give is that Sir Percival didn't meet our gaze and barely spoke to us. He didn't seem accou...that isn't even honest either. I've heard of King Arthur and his knights of the round table. I wanted to know if those stories were true.”
“Why couldn't you have just said that?!” Merlin insisted. “If you're from far enough away that those stories just now reached you, or if somehow you didn't trust them, you could have simply asked if the stories were true, could you not?”
Jayden sighed and made an attempt at explanation. “I cannot argue with that dissatisfaction. I simply did not want to sound presumptuous or telepathic.”
“Tele-what?” Merlin breathed.
“Like a seer or a mind reader.” Riker answered at once.
“Well I can't argue with you there.” Merlin replied honestly. “Magic is still basically a capital crime here after all. And even the suspicion of such is something to be fervently avoided.”
“Merlin,” Jayden began slowly. “I honestly believe it is time for each of us to retire. Sometime before we leave, can you and I slip away for some more quiet and open conversation?”
“That sounds like a splendid idea. I'm wondering neither of you have asked me about my original statement. The one I bounded down the steps with.”
Jayden jumped at the chance to answer and interpret that question.“If you mean your assertion that you might meet guests. That would not be at all out of step with what...well I really don't know how to proceed.”
“I think I should leave both of you to get some sleep. And I welcome your suggestion about a more open conversation; especially after that last remark. Good night sirs.”
Merlin slow walked down two flights of steps and across a long hall to get to Sasha's room. He was certain a very long conversation about to happen between them, in the course of which a lot of air would be cleared. He was also quite certain that conversation would happen as soon as he entered her room.
He was right on two counts and wrong on one.
After pounding on the door three times. “Sasha if you're in there at all I need to talk with you.”
“Come on in Merlin.” A voice said from inside.
Merlin entered with less grace and more presence than usual. He was certain she would not like what he would say and was almost as sure of his need for answers. Answers that only she could provide. All such ideas flew from his mind as he saw Sasha sitting on the floor in front of her couch. Her head was bent over the very short table she had insisted on having made for her room. She had her feet tucked under her rear and her face was white. Now Merlin of course knew she had magic. But he also knew that ritual was not part of her spells or her powers. He concluded that this must be a prayer to her interpretation of god. And thus, he had arrived and the worst possible time for this discussion.
“What have I interrupted?” Merlin asked in a low voice.
“I'm trying to remember if I know those visitors.” The young woman answered plainly. “Other than yourself Will is the only person to accept my mind's messages so readily. And I trust that they are friends and explorers, but how could I know that?”
“My first thought is that's what they called themselves.” Merlin quipped.
“No you don't understand Merlin.” Sasha responded shortly. “Once you left I gave Arthur a description of their character and intentions that came completely out of nowhere. I don't doubt my own assertions, but how could I have any to give?”
“Are they honorable?” Merlin ventured.“Since when do you not trust your assertions? I always have since we met in the woods that day. We'd seen each-other's faces prior, but that was an open door. I'm the one who continuously doubts themselves. If you are right about these people, I for one don't care how you know them. I've learned we both are usually right about people's intentions and true motives. I saw Gwaine and Lancelot for who they are. I'm not out of reason to think you can do the same. Who are these travelers?”
Sasha smiled as the memories of meeting the mentioned knights flitted across her mind. She answered easily. “They cannot answer for themselves without lying, but they are as honest in their hearts and minds as any human beings can be. And they either met me a long time ago or they knew my sister Grace. Either would explain a lot. And Jayden is...complicated.”
Merlin was about to ask 'in what manner my friend'. The question died on his lips as he remembered something even more relevant. “Will Riker called Jayden 'data'. What did he mean by that?”
“It's another word for information or knowledge. Indicative of a thirst for wisdom and understanding.” Was the almost immediate reply. A moment later Sasha dropped her head in deep thought. “You are starting to see the possible truth in my story.”
“I'm starting to see you were preparing me for their visit.” Merlin responded in a hard tone.
“Merlin you are incorrect.” Sasha stated coarsely. “I knew those adventures were real. As surely as I know my older travels are history. I did NOT know they could encounter each other. One of us should be the guide for these travelers. You know this world and I know thiers...at least a step removed. I'd almost want Sir Leon to be with us on this but I still wonder...”
“How to ensure you're given that task?” Merlin asked askance. “Ask Arthur for that chance.”
“Merlin, there's another issue. Sir Leon knows most of my secret. Am I safe to tell him yours?”
The younger wizard's answer to a question that was meant to surprise him came after a sharp look into his friend's eyes, and in about three seconds. “If you can send him to me instead of telling him yourself, I'd prefer that. But yes, it's alright. Good night Sasha.”
“You have other duties here. I don't.” Sasha spoke to Merlin's mind. All she said aloud was “G'night.”

Sometime in the middle of the next morning Sasha came into the stranger's room. She had knocked but there was no clear answer. It turned out there was no one in the room. She turned and raced down the stairs to go find Merlin...and very nearly knocked into Sir Leon on the way.
“Sorry, I didn't see you there.” She told the knight as though in passing.
“Clearly.” The man replied simply. “Merlin says you're looking for me.” He added with a smile.
“Not really. But I do think we have a bunch of things to talk about. I can't do cloaks of silence anymore, so why don't we just go to my rooms?”
“Sounds fine to me. And I will ask you about that as well.” Was the concise reply.
They walked down two hallways and up another flight of steps in silence. When Sasha opened the door to her room and walked in, she had expected Sir Leon to follow her right in. But he stood at the threshold.
“Open conversations go both ways right?” She told him. “Come on in and we'll have one.”

At her invitation I walked into her apartments. The room was pretty sparsely decorated. She had a very short, long table in front of what I first mistook to be a comfortable dining seat and a long one. A few minutes later I realized she must sleep there as well: there wasn't any other place for a bed. She sat down at one end of the long table and motioned for me to sit at the other. I did and I just waited.
“You obviously know about my powers.” She told me bluntly. I just nodded. “Do you realize that I haven't been able to use most of them since I finally made the choice and decision to stay here?”
“No but that doesn't surprise me.” I answered plainly.
“This conversation is strictly about how I can trust these visitors so implicitly?” She asked meekly. I nodded again. “Use your words from here on in please? I send messages; I don't receive them unless I'm searching for an answer. I don't think you'd like that.”
I had to give her credit for that perception. “Fair enough. But what is your answer to the question at hand?”
“Either they trust me because they remember my sister Grace, and by inference probably couldn't tell the difference. Or they knew me a long time ago and I simply forgot how far they can travel and how damn near insatiably curious they are.” I stared at her. I was trying to get her to speak plainly without restraint or courtesy. But she seemed too interested in NOT offending me. She apparently saw this even in that look.“They are polite and sincere, almost to a fault. While people here can't satisfy their greed or need for security...people where these two are from have the same trouble not asking too many questions, and are incredibly selfless.”
“And they don't like to...what's that expression you used that time to mean 'be blatantly obvious'?”
“I think, 'stick out like a sore thumb'. Around here things are better than they were as far as what I just described; I get that. But they might not see that. And their world's...a lot like they are...I think.”
“Is there something else you wanted to tell me?” I told her shortly.
“Yes. I will tell it only if you can suggest to me what else I might be hiding?” She answered bluntly.
'Finally! She's being direct and simple.' I thought to myself. “Why you spend so much time around Merlin? And why do the two of you seem to hang on the other's every word?”
“He and I share opinions of magic and the human capacity for selflessness and self-preservation. To be a bit more open about it...We both see way more than most others give us credit for and thus usually end up confiding in each other more than in anyone else. Including Gaius on his part and Arthur on mine. And if you don't mind, I suggest you ask Merlin the rest of that to his face or the visitors about me to their faces?”
“Sounds fine to me.” I told her in what I hoped sounded like a joyous tone. And considering the conversation completely done with, I stood up to leave. She stopped me with a command. “Don't send me any more messages in my head. It hurts to even hear it, even more so to respond.”
“Now that I know, I'll do my best. Besides, in situations with others abou...You mean even when others are around and I don't want them to hear?”
“Of course, I wouldn't bother telling you otherwise. I know you'd not use it at any other time. But it physically hurts to receive a signal at all, no matter why you're sending it.”
“I won't try it again, I promise.” I told her is as confident a voice as I could muster.
I was halfway out the door when I realized Sasha wasn't following me.“Oh I'm not going to be part of this. It's time everyone formed their own opinions based on the evidence of their own eyes. I'm out of the race.”

About an hour later, completely missing lunch, Sir Leon pounded on the door to the rooms Merlin shared with his guardian Gaius. The healer opened the door, saw in an instant the concern and distress on the knight's face, and stated.“I take it this should be a private conversation between Merlin and yourself?”
“I'm not inconsiderate enough to ask you to fill in the blanks. Yes, I'd like to talk with him alone.”
Gaius tapped on the door to Merlin's bedroom and left. Sir Leon entered the room and quickly shut the door, then turned and stared Merlin in the face for several seconds. There was only course of action left.
“Merlin, you know Sasha has magic right?” Sir Leon inquired before he could get a word out.
“That's what's got you this worked up?” Merlin stated, clearly doubting the accuracy of his words.
“Well no. I have a suspicion about why you and she are such great friends. I went to talk with her about it but she would not directly answer me, she said I should ask you directly. That's what I'm doing.”
“Sir Leon, Sasha counts me a friend for exactly whatever reason she gave you. I count her my friend cause she listens without judgment and stands at my side no matter what else is going on. Also she never denies what she really thinks of anything, and doesn't hide. Unlike me.”
Sir Leon didn't seem to have heard the last two words. “It isn't because...I don't even know how to say this.”
“Leon shut up and listen to me.” Merlin near-commanded. “I have magic. I am Arthur's friend and protector AND his servant. I would not chose to be anyone or anything than what and where I am. After our guests leave we'll sit down and talk all this through, promise . For now, we have other concerns.”
“You think ill of our guests?” Sir Leon wondered.
“No.” Merlin answered weakly. “I don't think anything of them, good or bad. I'm asking you to be my ears; find out what kind of people they are. Then tell me everything of what you think of me. Please.”
Sir Leon sighed heavily. “I can't say I'm against finding out more about these guests. So all right.”
Which is why Jayden and Riker had an unusual visitor and a very long conversation before supper that same day. There's no point in relaying the entire conversation. This bright spot might be needed later on.
“How long have you known Sasha?” Jayden asked the knight.
“She was visiting Camelot for years.” Sir Leon answered at once. “She stayed here permanently a little over two months ago. From what I gather Arthur and Merlin always expected she'd eventually be able to stay for good and all. And a place was made for her here. Why do you ask about her?”
Jayden looked within himself a moment and responded.“She seems familiar to us. But there is nothing in her behavior to indicate she even remembers us.”
“Quite so.” Riker intoned. “So I have to conclude we are all out of our reckoning. The resemblance is striking though, wouldn't you say?”
“You have someone like her in your life.” Sir Leon concluded.
“Indeed yes.” Jayden exuded. “But it is clear this woman does not recognize us.”
“You are incorrect at that.” The knight replied simply. “You feel familiar to her. But she is unsure if she knows you. By her own words her memory of life before she began visiting us is...fragmented.”
“Well that's the other part of it.” Will Riker stated reluctantly. “She'd have to have been visiting us and you at the same time. And that doesn't seem very likely, does it?”
“...I see the confusion.” Was all Sir Leon said in response. “You might be thinking of Grace.”
“That was the name our friend gave us,” Riker began slowly. “How do you know it?”
“Sasha referred to Grace as her older sister. Today is the first I've heard the name.”
“You are answering a lot more questions and filling in a lot more gaps than you might realize.” Riker stated in a voice so soft he might have been speaking to himself. “I should thank you for it.”
“No sir. I owe you a debt of gratitude, on her behalf.” Sir Leon pondered aloud. “Sasha herself will be relieved to hear she isn't as...that her theories and sensations about you are near the mark.”
“Sir Leon, could you answer me something?” Riker pondered aloud.
“I'll do my best.” Sir Leon answered easily.
“What was Merlin referring to, with the Tavern and the griffin?”
“We first met Lancelot, peace to his heart, right before the Griffin attacked Camelot. From what I understand, he's the one who slayed it. Which was odd because he was supposed to be in jail for pretending to be a knight. He received his rank a couple of years later and two years ago. If I know Sir Gwaine at all, it isn't unreasonable to think they met him in a tavern. What specifically Merlin referred to, I couldn't say.”
Jayden gave a soft smile. “'Everything happens for a reason; coincidence can be a blessing'. Or something like that. More to the point, we should not dismiss any event or seeming accident out of hand.”
“Which, I perceive, is a reason it's good to have Merlin around.” Riker suggested blithely.
The conversation resumed its focus on Merlin, Arthur and the indelible bond between them. The fact of Merlin's powers was not mentioned. That would have been much harder to explain. Neither side raised the issue...because neither side knew the other was aware of the issue at hand.

“Jayden, no offense I hope but why do you sound so unsure of yourself all the time?”
“Merlin, now I have a question that will make me sound like a seer. Why are you and Sasha friends if not for the simple fact of what you each can do?”
All color and blood flooded into Merlin's face. “Sir I don't know how you know that and I don't know whether to plead with you not to tell anyone or demand that you don't.”
Sasha walked up the the three of them and stood right beside Merlin and in front of Jayden. “The answer to his supposition is the affirmative.”
"I'm sorry, what?" Merlin asked turning toward his friend in confusion and surprise.
"I'll explain it like this my friend. Data knows we both have magic, or in my case, strong inexplicable powers which are called such. To an extent he is right in his first assertion: I have an open and humble mind because of my abilities and oddities. That open, tranquil mind is in turn responsible for our friendship. Mostly it's because we both see things others miss and usually choose to keep quiet about them." She turned to stare Jayden in the face. "Like my observations about your inner workings and thirst for human understanding?”
Merlin was shocked at his own interpretation of this as he exuded "Are you saying Jayden isn't human?"
"He's human in every way that matters." Sasha assured her friend. "He never really considered himself a NORMAL human and thus was insatiably curious as to everything that description meant. Am I not right?"
"Most of my friends have described me this way since my hearing.” Jayden pondered aloud.
“I'm sorry what?” Merlin intoned shortly.
“Something to determine his rights and status.” Will Riker stated firmly. “If I interpret your facial expressions correctly, you now require the 'more private conversation' we originally offered?”
Realizing this was a question, Merlin nodded his head. A moment later he hung it.
“Don't worry.” Sasha intoned gently. “I think I can keep my original promise one last time.” This of course drew stares from everyone present. “I promised the old king and Arthur, on two separate occasions that if ever I could step into Merlin's shoes and not humiliate him in the process, I would do it. I don't mean in the public humiliation kind of way. But I was pretty sure it would embarrass the hell out of him. No one with a true servants heart would ever be comfortable having a server. I realize I never actually told you this Merlin. Heck for a while I wasn't even sure about it. But I'll do my best...on both sides.”
“In the course of which I will learn who exactly you are to these people.” Riker insisted.
“We still need Arthur's affirmation on this.” Merlin reminded his friends.
“Then I suggest we all go up and ask for it.” Riker offered at once. “Rather, YOU should. I've noticed he relies on you more than in your capacity as a valet.” Merlin blushed. At once the pair of friends set out to follow Riker's suggestion. They realized the King would likely be asleep, and returned to Sasha's quarters.

“Sasha, why has it taken you this long to bring this up?” Was King Arthur's only reaction to his younger friend's suggestion, which she made promptly at breakfast the next day.
“I've never had this much of a reason to give Merlin a break from his duties and, honestly, I don't think you have either.” It was a not so veiled reference to Arthur's joke about Merlin's place at his side. But Arthur didn't seem to appreciate the reference.
“You mean this might help me out as much as it'll help explain things to Jayden?” He replied stiffly.
“I mean Riker will want to learn things from you just as Merlin wants to learn things from Jayden And the exchanges of information will be true exchanges.”
Jayden and Riker were seated at one of the longer tables with Percival and Sir Leon at the time. So they didn't hear any of this. When they saw Arthur bend his head in deep thought, then wave his hand to dismiss Merlin, they assumed the answer was in the affirmative. A few minutes later all five of them gathered in the great hall. Sasha suggested she, Riker and Arthur should ride out to a fork in the road to have their conversation, while Merlin and Jayden could go wherever they felt would suit their comfort and need. It was a n idea warmly supported by the others. Not two hours later the three riders departed, at an easy pace.
“I'm really not sure where to go from here.” Sasha mentioned once they were completely out of town.
“Really, you're the one who suggested it.” Arthur prodded.
“I know where I want to end up. I never...How did you actually GET to that split in the road when you and Merlin were following a horse?” Arthur's ears turned pink.
“I'm going to assume that's a private joke between the two of you.” Riker stated, as though in passing.
“I'll let that go for now.” Arthur eventually replied. “We have other business.”
They rode in near silence for almost an hour before Arthur drew his horse to a stand still. They were indeed at a parting in the road. “Where to?” Arthur asked of Sasha.
“There was a campfire here somewhere; I KNOW that.”
Arthur led them down the right-hand path. No explanation or further inquiry was made. Thirty minutes later Arthur pulled his horse to a complete stop and invited his friends to do the same. “This is where the ambush happened. I'll assume that's what you referred to.”
“If I understand you at all correctly and am not missing anything, yes.” Sasha replied, almost testily. She walked up to the fire pit, propped the sticks she'd brought with her into a tall triangle and lit them with what Arthur took to be magic, but was really just a spark jug.
“Okay maybe you're not who I thought you were.” Riker intoned gently.
“I have three older sisters you know.” Sasha replied with a grin.
“Now I don't understand.” Arthur stated impatiently.
Without instruction all of them sat down for the long and messy conversation they all knew would follow. But let's see what Jayden and Merlin were up to. We can return to this place again later.

“Merlin I am confused by you.” Jayden admitted softly as they made their way to the north-most room in the entire castle, in other words, to Sasha's room.
“I can assure you the feeling is mutual.” Merlin answered in what was meant to be a casual voice.
“Where are we going?” The stranger continued, unabated.
“The only place in this whole city I know we won't be overheard.” Came the instant reply. “Sasha chose her room because it was out of the way. It's sole purpose seems to be for private conversations.”
at once Merlin guided Jayden up to my room, tapping the center of the door three times and walking in with no further ceremony. Once they were seated across the short table from each-other, so my makeshift bed was on Merlin's left and Jayden's right, Merlin lost no time in posing the question that was on his mind.
“What are you sir?”
“Why do you believe I am anything but what you are?”
“I uh...I meant to ask your condition...your situation.” Merlin openly lied.
“I am Will Riker's equal and his friend. We are not equal in all things but...” Right about there the true meaning of Merlin's question dawned in his mind. “...I repeat my question.” Was all he said in response.
“I scanned the surface of your and Riker's minds. I couldn't see anything in yours except a desire to be understood and to understand. Commander Riker held these same concerns, but his admiration for our 'little world' nearly drowned them, as it were. Also you both must follow a very strict set of rules.”
“Little wonder Arthur seems to rely on you concerning visitors.” Data, as was his true name, interpreted, not bothering to remark on the proper use of Will Riker's rank.
“HE doesn't know I do it. For that matter, I don't usually use my gifts that way. You and Will behaved so oddly, not the least around Sasha herself, I wanted to learn for myself what could be the issue.”
“Why would you not tell your liege about your gifts?” The other man stated, bluntly curious. “For that matter, why is it such a secret?”
“I uh, I seriously don't understand your confusion.” Merlin admitted softly.
“We are not from this island. I had assumed...Camelot in particular...was blessed by magic.”
“Your assumption was very much incorrect.” Merlin near-laughed. “Magic is punishable by death in Camelot and under Arthur's father, that was usually the result. Because he learned what I am, Arthur has tried to be more tolerant of 'the old ways'. He still hasn't made it any less of a crime...not for good and all.”
“So, if I may ask, who already knows the truth? I would assume Sasha learned it somehow.”
“Sasha has always known, since the first time we actually met.” Merlin answered, now clearly laughing. “Sir Leon just found out a day or so ago and Arthur was told over six weeks ago.”
Jayden decided to take a moment to consider everything that had happened in his visit. After a long pause, he stated in a defeated voice.“You have trusted me. I would be most unfair not to 'open up' to you.”
“I don't want you to say anything you are not comfortable sharing with me.” Merlin insisted.
“That is a part of it unto itself. I have no concept of comfort, or emotion or even taste. I may refer to Dr Soong as my father but it is a figure of speech...I am a constructed being. I do not know if I have a soul, so please do not ask. I have free will and I am not indebted to anyone except my captain. That is, I am not under obligation to anyone except Jean-Luc Picard, the Captain of our ship. So much is...accepted.”
To Data's surprise and lasting confusion he found Merlin laughing again. For a moment, he was convinced he was being laughed at. When Merlin regained control he explained. “My friend as long as you can say with a straight face that you have a conscience and understand loyalty I don't care what you are.”
“Both of which I can assure you, I do.” Data replied almost at once.
“I have to tell you though. According to Sasha I'm the most open, fair minded person in this kingdom. It's one of the reasons we are such great friends. I wouldn't risk letting anyone else know about this. You might get beheaded as a product of magic, or a souless monster.”
Data stared.“Forgive me but I have never been so easily accepted by someone who lived as you do.”
“What, in fear for their lives if anyone figured out the truth of their existence? Do you simply mean 'as primitive as this'.” A single look from Data answered his question quite completely. “In a twisted, round about sort of way, I've had a 'head's up' about your existence, and the reality of your construction. Just not about your coming here, or even that you could or would.”
“Please elaborate.” The android intoned.
“Do you really live on a ship in a sea of stars?” Merlin replied. Data did not verbally respond. “I'll take that as a yes. Captain Picard must rely on your fair judgment the way Arthur relies on mine.”

At that exact moment Will Riker was having a very similar conversation with his new friends. One that very nearly ended the same way.
“Grace, Sophia, and Elizabeth are my older sisters, but we all look so much alike to most people, we get confused with each other all the time. It has been my belief since Riker and Jayden showed up here that they know one of these sisters, and mistook me for her.”
“Grace visits us all the time.” Riker said plainly. “If you're not her, how did you know about Jayden?”
“Because I've learned to tell pretty fast if I can trust a person or what motivates them.” The young woman answered easily. “Most of what I've said about him falls under that category. And while I am not Grace, we share stories of our adventures with each other...in a very personal way. Also hearing you call him by his proper name, made everything else fall into place.”
“What 'proper name'?” Arthur insisted.
“Jayden is a name a group of villagers once gave my friend.” Riker answered at once. “His name as he himself chose it is 'Data'. It is simply another word for information or knowledge.”
“Who would choose that as their own identifier?” Arthur pondered aloud.
“At the time there was nothing about him he felt was more important for him.” Will answered in a harsh tone. “And his thirst for information and knowledge is very much one of his more defining qualities.” He turned from Arthur to Sasha. “You were right at that.”
“I said he's human in every way that matters. I never said he was actually flesh and blood.”
Riker seemed ready to faint at those words. “Why would you do that?” He inquired of Sasha. Who it seemed, did not understand the objection.
“Well he wasn't there at that statement I'll grant you, but it's perfectly true and relevant is it not?”
“I mean why would you destroy...Well I'm not even sure how to go about this.”
Right there Sasha saw the assumption. And decided to let her friend know she did not take the accusation well. Drawing herself to her full ramrod height, or as much as she could sitting down she stated. “William T. Riker, how in the name of sanity do you think you got here?” She checked herself a moment later. “I would think that knowledge unto itself would tell you I'M the one taking responsibility for this mess?”
“And she is not your friend Grace.” Arthur added as though his mouth were on automatic. “Although I must admit I don't entirely understand the issue at hand.”
Sasha took a deep breath to calm herself and turned to the king. “His people's curiosity got the better of them on so many occasions, they created this cardinal rule of not getting involved in other cultures. At least, unless external forces are responsible for the problem or some one in said culture made a direct request for help. He was certain it applied here and failed to consider his people had very little to do with what I've been telling you these past few days. And I have no such directive.”
Arthur looked uncertain. “Okay I'll accept that for now, but what does it mean 'how you got here'?”
Sasha almost hung her head. “That was actually my own missed perception. I don't know how they got here and had assumed something about it. I had also assumed that if I was right it somehow negated his directive. And no, I did not bring them here. Neither, I assume, did Grace. But I am grateful to see for myself the truth of a story I once told my young friend. I wonder if he's noticed that by now.”
“I hope we are at peace.” Riker stated calmly. “Jayden and I with you, Sasha as well as with the people of this kingdom. I would prefer to stay for a while and learn more of the truth surrounding your place hand your friends hereabout. I almost wish it wasn't already time to go home.”
“Sir, I hope you're not rushing out because of me?” Sasha offered.
“Or my own lack of manners.” Arthur added.
“It's nothing like that. We're on a tighter schedule than I let on before. It's time to head back to the ship, if not really head home.” Riker stated, somewhat sardonically.
Sasha looked surprisingly grim.“I sincerely wish you would be empowered and direct your own path. And do I assume correctly you would prefer to slip away practically unnoticed?” Riker nodded. “I think that's more than fine. As far as no pomp, circumstance or otherwise fanfare-y farewell. But do not vanish or disappear. Those you have met here would like, if not need the chance to say goodbye...yes? She insisted to Arthur, who nodded his assent. “Then on that part there is no issue.”
“Where IS there an issue?” Arthur and Riker stated simultaneously.
“I still feel like I'm scaring you off.” Sasha admitted glumly.
“And you haven't answered my original question.” Riker intoned.
“I assumed the question was nullified when you realized I wasn't Grace.” Sasha offered.
“Well the apparent contradiction was answered. I'd still like to know from you who you are to them?”
Sasha stood up and answered in a firm and quiet tone. “Until recently I was a constant visitor with a mask of happiness or dignity. Except to Merlin. He and I became close not so much because of that, as the fact that we both believed in equality, justice and the evidence of our own eyes. That friendship was only strengthened when I finally came to stay here for good and all.” Sasha's words seemed rehearsed and blank to Riker's ears. A fact which he quickly made public. Arthur nodded in agreement. The statement simply made Sasha grin.
“I've had time to come up with an answer for whenever this finally came to light. That is I was anticipating being able to stay here for good and all since I had two of four years of visiting under my belt. And I wasn't sure if these admissions would precipitate finding a place to call home, or if finding a place to call home would finally take down my guard enough to admit them. Arthur likes me because he knows I understand what I'm talking about...when I bother to speak up at all. To answer what I now know is a bigger part of your question: I've only for certain lived here for about eight weeks, maybe ten. I came here so often before, they could tell it was as much home to me as anywhere I've been. I'm their friend and defender against ignorance and true stupidity. I'm no more capable of physical combat than Grace was...and no less their friend than she was to you.”
“Which Merlin has been for a long time.” Arthur muttered to himself.
“Unquestionably.” Sasha agreed with feeling, for the moment not caring what exactly Arthur had just realized. “But Riker, consider the possibility that this isn't where you think it is. Your first impression of us was mythical and magical at the same time, yes?” And without waiting for a reply she continued. “This is exactly what it seems like. I mean this place really is exactly what it seems like to you. I wish you luck on your journey, any further interference from you because of me, or vice versa would be...exactly that.”
“We better get back to Camelot and Jayden and I better get out of here.” Riker stated. It was an assertion warmly and fervently supported by the others present. “Sasha, do you have Grace's ability..”
“My traveler's gifts as I called them don't work now that I've settled down, unless it affects and is for the sake of my first friend. So not unless Merlin specifically asks for it...if he thinks it would heal something or help somehow. Right now I doubt it would help or solve a-ny-thing.”
The trip back to the castle was at an easy pace and silent.

“So what do you make of this place Data?” Riker asked his friend as soon as they were alone in their quarters again. Having shared their experiences, they had yet to come to a shared conclusion.
“It is simply another example of parallel planet development. For some reason one of Grace's siblings decided to settle here. Either that or we've gone back in time and the myth-historic legends of Merlin and Arthur and the knights were flatly wrong.”
“I'd rather believe the former. Especially since we've very much upset the balance of this place.”
“Commander I believe Sasha was correct. She is responsible for changing this sociopolitical climate. We just helped the shift further along.”
“Well yeah. I guess we should be grateful she told the story of your hearing as a story.”
Data looked at Riker, hesitating.“Commander, how did you choose the name you gave them as my own?”
“It's what the villagers on Barkon Four called you. Which I know you don't remember.”
“Yes, a sad reversal of my encounter with Sarjenka. I was the one with no memories of my friendship or impact.” Data replied, almost mournfully. “I suppose it makes sense, it is a name that has been used for me. And obviously it fooled enough of them...But not Sasha herself.”
“It was not meant to deceive her.” Riker mused. “Only to let her know I could still be careful.”

The visitors had gone home. Their last wish had been easily fulfilled: they'd left without a word to anyone. Merlin was asleep, or at least unreachable. Which left Sasha the only person Arthur could ask to settle his muddled mind. Which was fine; she knew more of this truth than Merlin.
“Sasha, what was all of that?” Arthur asked her in private.
“Which part?” Sasha asked with an obvious desire not to say more than was needed.
“Can you really not use magic unless Merlin asks you?” Arthur clarified.
“Of course my friend. I thought you knew that.” Sasha paused and studied Arthur's stoic face. “But that's not what's troubling you, is it?”
“What magic was he asking you to use?” The King persisted.
“I believe Riker wanted me to avoid breaking his own cardinal rule by making you forget that whole conversation. He failed to realize that leaving such a big gap in your head would itself cause damage and irrevocable changes to this place.”
“Yeah if things are going to change, there better be an explanation for it.” Arthur reiterated.
“That's my thinking exactly. Besides, with one exception, I've never thought of using my powers that way, ever.” Sasha stated matter of factly.
“What exception?!” Arthur pressed.
“I never actually did it. But if Sir Leon hadn't taken the news well, and if it had happened any earlier than it did, I would have wiped it from his mind. Believe it or not, even though he's only known that particular secret for a couple of days, known it for sure I mean...” At that point she seemed to think she'd said too much and closed her mouth, but continued to stare King Arthur in the face.
“You think Sir Leon has um...had his suspicions...for some time?” Arthur asked bluntly.
“Yes sire.” Sasha stated in a tone to suggest she thought she was in trouble...or was about to be.
“What if I had figured it out. Or I couldn't handle it. Would you have taken the knowledge from me?”
“My king,” The young woman stated coolly. “I'm still trying to figure out how you learned the truth in the first place.” Arthur stared at her, open mouthed. “And the answer to your question is no.”
Arthur was quiet for a long time after this. Convinced she had said something wrong, without any real clue as to what, Sasha remained seated and silent. Her original assertion about being in trouble was quickly confirmed as Arthur stood his highest and straightest and asked. “It wasn't your own secret was it?”
A ringing silence fell.
“I honestly need to know. I've known for ages you had magic so your secrecy made no sense to me.”
“You don't remember it?” Sasha pressed.
“Remember WHAT?” Arthur yelped.
“Okay forgive me but I have to be certain. What did you just figure out?”
“The only thing that would have you this mortified. Merlin has magic.”
“Okay, since we are now for the most part on the same page, let me fill in the blanks. And don't you dare interrupt me with more questions.” Sasha stated coldly. King Arthur simply nodded his head. “You did discover Merlin's secret. We thought you did. I've lived the past six weeks thinking you remembered that encounter. In which, by the way, you walked in on Merlin's mind to mind conversation with Sir Leon and took the news a little too well. But such a secret could never be that quickly or easily accepted. So together Merlin and I broke the illusion of those conversations. After the vision faded Merlin walked up to your room, flat out told you his secret and you told him to go to bed with as close to a 'mind at peace' as he could. I guess now the entire thing was someone pulling the wool over my and Merlin's eyes...the lie was not just the original vision.”
“So that's why Merlin's been more relaxed around me these past weeks?” Arthur concluded aloud.
“He thinks you've come to accept him for who and what he is...accepted why he does these things and what all he can do. It would naturally have put him at ease.”
Arthur started to turn away, toward the door. Sasha reached out her arm toward him. “Milord please rest on this a while before you do anything to Merlin. And when you do talk to him directly, please let him know I'm the one who messed up.”
The king stopped in his tracks and turned toward her. “I would think you'd want your part in this hidden.”
“Are you kidding me? The alternatives being Sir Leon really taking this badly or Commander Riker letting this slip? I'll take the blame for what I actually am responsible for.” Sasha answered briskly. “Besides, I hope I can help you to see why Merlin does what he does and that what he is, as far as being a sorcerer, is only a small part of the who of his being.”
Arthur sat down at the small table. “I'm listening.”

There were only four people present. The hill and vale of the countryside would have seemed lovely to anyone there for a relaxing visit. But this was no social event and everyone was tense. They had found nothing to indicate the source of the danger or even the validity of the warning they had received. It was only natural that everyone would be on edge. But for one of this group, there didn't seem to be anything wrong. Not that is, wrong with the situation.
“Lancelot, are you alright?” King Arthur startled his friend out of his very consuming thoughts.
“Yes Sire, I'm fine.” The knight replied softly, but firmly.
“Lancelot how many times must I ask you to call me Arthur?” The askance look in the young knight's face was all the answer the King needed. “You still carry that nightmare around in your head?”
“I know you and Merlin tell me that I wasn't exactly myself. But I can't help thinking what would have happened if he hadn't woken me out of it?”
Neither of them particularly showed it, but both of the 'scouts' in the party were paying more attention to the conversation than they were to their surroundings.
“We don't have to worry about that do we?” Arthur joked. But his voice took on a serious edge as he continued. “How could Merlin have brought you out of that anyway?”
“I don't think it was Merlin Sire.” The knight replied honestly. “In a way it was Morganna herself.”
All three men surrounding Lancelot stopped in their tracks. Merlin himself was apprehensive but confident. Percival was confused and King Arthur was thunderstruck. It didn't take Lancelot three seconds to see all of these reactions. Finding ways to address them took a bit longer. He looked from one shocked face to the other and it wasn't until he saw the firm, peaceful smile on Merlin's face that he found an answer.
“Morganna told me I was dying. And that she was fine with it since I'd done what she brought me back to do. The thought of being nothing more than a puppet on a string woke me out of that stupor she'd left me in. And I, as you know, did everything I could to stop the insanity and stupidity caused by my mistake.”
“I'd say you succeeded.” Percival muttered, as though to himself.
“Almost entirely.” Merlin whispered. He was able to adopt an appearance of nonchalance before anyone could ask him what he'd meant by the remark. About five seconds later he yelled “Down!” Everyone followed his instruction.
Arrows flew at Lancelot and Percival, but naturally they missed. Arthur's first reaction was of course to draw his sword and run toward the direction of the attack. Before he had gotten five paces, Merlin and Lancelot both pulled him back.
“She's smarter than that.” Lancelot whispered urgently.
“We need to stick together and keep our eyes peeled.” Merlin insisted, tossing on his jacket.
Accordingly the four of them drew themselves tightly together and walked with determination and discipline back to Camelot proper. Nothing more happened to them on the soft ride home. Merlin was the only one to show any reluctance to trust the peace and stillness of that journey. And Lancelot was the only one perceptive enough to see why. The instant they returned Lancelot decided to follow Merlin home, without asking anyone including his closest friend if it was all right.
“Why won't you let me tell him?” The knight asked of Merlin as soon as the door to the servant's own room was shut.
“Arthur blames Emrys for killing his father.” Merlin replied shortly. “And in that light, rightly assumes Emrys is an enemy. I don't think he'd be able to accept any information to the contrary.”
“But is this not the best evidence we will ever have to the contrary?” Lancelot persisted.
“Only if we could prove to Arthur that the old wizard really did everything he could to save the old king.” Merlin answered solemnly. “And how would we go about doing that?”
“You know as well as I do that Emrys did all he could.” Came the simple reply. “Morganna herself told me what she had Aggrivane do. But you don't need me to tell you that. You know what really killed him. The answer is literally in Gaius study. You have the medallion that was placed around the old king's neck. Why are you hiding your allegiance?”
“Are you suggesting I am more loyal to Emrys than to Arthur?” Merlin prodded.
“By no means.” Lancelot returned softly. “I am saying you have good reason for wanting to keep Emrys alive and well, even against Arthur's knowledge or consent.”
“Forgive my blindness, but that sounds like much the same thing.” Merlin persisted.
“Not to my eyes it's not. At any rate, I think we both understand how blind the King can be to certain things. I'm just asking why, as it seems, you want to keep him that way.”
It took longer than I would have expected for Merlin to come up with a reply to that interpretation. “Lancelot you obviously don't remember everything that happened between us before you first died. Or you would never make even veiled implications that I am a wizard.”
“Why shouldn't I think that?” Lancelot countered. “You are obviously in league with Emrys and you have no love for the witch that caused us all so much trouble. You exposed Aggrivane yet gave no explanation as to how you knew his false heart. How. Did. You. Know?”
“I wouldn't mind knowing that myself.” The cold, hard voice of the king was not a welcome intrusion into their conversation. And for a moment the pair of friends just stared at each other. “No, neither of you invited me here. But I was curious what could rob both of you of your customary manners and etiquette. Also I've never seen anyone bolt that fast after getting shot at, yet not seem shaken by the experience.”
“In fairness I was bolting for the physician’s quarters.” Merlin offered simply. “And I am braver than what you normally give me credit for.”
“Merlin,” The King began slowly. “An-swer Lancelot's question.”
The servant wizard turned to the second individual in Camelot to ever know his secret. “Your testimony called that truth from my heart. I had little proof until you showed up again and it wasn't hard to put the rest of it together.” He turned to Arthur and back to the younger knight. “I mean honestly it could just be that I know people, including you, and wanted to be sure before I made any other accusations. I saw through Morgouse's lies and the witch finder’s hypocrisy. Is it really such a shock that I know yet another traitor when I see one?”
Arthur was shocked. And it took a lot of seconds for him to find an answer. “No.” He breathed at last. “No I don't suppose it is all that strange. But how did you know this time?”
“The medallion around Uther's neck was strange and ancient. It was not something the king would want people to see on him. It stood to reason someone had planted it there. I seriously doubt Emrys would have had the time or occasion to do so.” Merlin pursed his lips, hesitating. “Arthur, you are NOT going to want to hear this.” Merlin offered. He saw in a moment that the young king would not let it be. “Uther blamed your mother's death on Magic. Any and all kinds of Magic. I think Aggrivane blamed Uther, directly.”
And at long last Arthur began to see. “Lancelot's account of Aggrivane's allegiance was the final piece needed to confirm your suspicions.”
“On more than one individual.” Merlin breathed in a rush.
“So you do not deny your friendship with that wizard?” King Arthur persisted.
“It was not even a question of friendship to that wizard.” Merlin pronounced emphatically. “I don't believe he was knowingly responsible for your father's death and I will attempt to save any innocent life from the noose.” His voice grew gentler as his eyes once again focused on Lancelot. Who, after realizing he was being stared at, simply nodded. “That, when put together with what Lancelot just told me, is enough for me to have confidence in my original decision. Well, in my choice to keep silence until something else removed the scales from your eyes.”
Naturally Arthur turned to the young knight, who looked remarkably calm, though rather pale. “I told you that it wasn't Merlin. And that 'in a way' it was Morganna herself to show me who I truly am.” The solider began slowly. “Both are true...but far from the total truth. It was that old wizard who lifted the shadow off of my eyes and taught me, without saying a word, who and what I had once been. I WAS responsible for Gwen's actions and she should NOT have been punished for something she had no control over.”
No one moved. It seemed to Merlin that Lancelot had far more recollections of the trial and disaster that had so completely wrecked his spirits than what anyone had suspected him of up to that point. Arthur was just infuriated, and maybe a little bit ashamed.
“So it wasn't just because you had always been attracted to each other?” Arthur breathed.
“Attraction is not treason, nor cause for it.” Merlin whispered. “I think we all know that.” Fortunately no one seemed to pay his words any attention. Or him either for that matter.
Lancelot didn't even fidget as he answered the challenge. “It was my own cursed bracelet that clouded her conscience and my own damn fault she was even put at risk. It doesn't take a seer to figure that one out. Not that you are asking for opinions here, it seems to me you are searching for options. You should call her back, ask her for pardon and marry her. Then you can do to me whatever you think I deserve.”
Merlin held his breath as, after the longest pause in time yet, Arthur actually chuckled.
“You want to know what I think Lancelot? I think you deserve to stop beating yourself over the head for something you had no control over. Morganna's magic had you a puppet on a string. You said so yourself. I don't know if I can get over Gwen, unfortunately in either sense of the word. But you were not at fault and it's time you sobered up and carried on.”
“Thank you, Arthur. And maybe now I really will start calling you that.” The knight Lancelot stated.
“Even so...” The King continued a moment later. “I seriously think you should go and get some sleep. And let Merlin and I have a more private talk?” The slightly dangerous edge to his voice and Merlin's silent consent to the suggestion were all the encouragement the younger knight could ask for. Lancelot bowed at the waist, with his face between Merlin and Arthur's forms, and departed. The wizard pulled his hands tightly behind his back and waited for the condemnation he was almost sure was coming.
But it never did. “Merlin I can't and I won't drag you into this mess more than needs-be.” Arthur began gently. “But I could really use your help figuring him out.”
“You think he's keeping an even greater secret from you?” Merlin pondered aloud.
“No,” Arthur responded shortly. “I mean why he blames himself when he had very little to do with it... well not as his true self.”
“Arthur don't even try.” Merlin chided softly. “You knew as well as I did he wasn't responsible. At least you knew his original defense was possible and didn't change your declaration. I won't hold your judgment or your decision against you...But don't try to pretend Guinevere’s banishment wasn't your choice.”
It was the first time in almost three weeks either of them had openly spoken her name; much less to the other. And it was probably only the third time in Arthur's memory Merlin had flat out told Arthur what he could or couldn't do. Advising him to do what he felt was right and prodding him to stand up for what he knew was justice was common practice. This was as close to a flat out declaration and demand as anything that had ever come out of his mouth.
“For the sake of friendship I won't tell you all the mistakes that happened here in the last month. Most of which, I'll admit have been repaired or negated, the negative effects negated, since Lancelot came back. But that doesn't mean they didn't happen. This one was simply stupid.”
“And what if I ordered you to tell me all the ways I messed up?” Arthur demanded gently.
“I would respectfully and wholeheartedly disobey you.” Merlin declared staunchly. “I'd rather you hate or mistrust me than hate or doubt yourself.”
An even longer pause, and a thoroughly disquieting silence followed. “Merlin, I've asked you this before and this time you'd better answer me directly...Why are you so knowledgeable about this stuff?”
“Is that the question Sire? Or am I misinterpreting the object of the question?” Arthur looked at Merlin askance. “Are you asking why I have such faith in you?” He responded plainly. At Arthur's nod he began the strangest soliloquy I've ever heard of. “I've had an implicit faith and trust in you for a long time. And you've proven that trust valid and true over and over again. I've been at your elbow as it were, for years. I can read your face pretty well by now. It barely needs saying that I know, albeit second hand, the challenges and situations with which you have been faced.”
“I concede it.” Arthur told him simply.
“So why shouldn't I have seen you grow into the exceptional young King you have become?” Merlin continued as though Arthur had not spoken. “Why wouldn't that be enough to quiet my fears and validate my original decision?” He muttered as though to himself.
“I'm sorry?” Arthur queried gently.
Merlin paused as he felt a wind sweep past his face. He could tell with a look Arthur hadn't sensed it.“I am sorry Arthur. Someone we both know and trust just told me I shouldn't let this situation continue any farther than I already have. She, like ourselves, sees more than she lets on and I will follow her advice tonight. But I promise you, if you look over everything that's happened since you proved what is truly in your heart...at the challenge with the wine goblets...You WILL find the answer you are searching for.”
“Merlin what...who are you even talking about?” Arthur stammered, thoroughly confused. “I mean I know the event but when did you start excelling so at word games?”
Merlin did not say another word. He kept his form rigid and demeanor respectful but did not speak to his liege. Who after a few minutes of this treatment, saw his friend was in most profound earnest, and left.
As soon as Arthur was gone, Merlin breathed a sigh of relief. Gaius, who had been standing in the next room, walked into Merlin's bedroom with a very concerned expression. “I know you're probably angry with me.” Merlin assumed quietly. “I can't think of any other way I could have handled that question.”
Gaius simply smiled and put his hand on his charge's arm. “I'm far from angry with you. Quite the opposite in fact. I'm proud of you. You spoke with skill in a very tight spot and answered every single challenge without exposing your powers, only your perceptions. I'm pretty sure everything you just said was perfectly true.”
Merlin glanced up at his guardian. “How ever...?”
“What was the challenge with the wine goblets you just referred to?”
“It's how we lifted the famine caused by Arthur's foolhardy arrogance.” Merlin answered simply. “There were two goblets in front of us. Well, one in front of me one in front of him. We were told one was poisoned and the other not. 'all the liquid from both goblets must be drunk but each of you may only drink from a single goblet'. That's what the old wizard said. Once I realized that each goblet was only half-full, I told Arthur we could pour both amounts into one goblet which he did...and promptly drank it all.” He sat down on his bed. “It turned out it was a test to see if Arthur would risk his life for mine. To see what was truly in his heart. And the curse was lifted basically at that same hour.”
“Merlin, why didn't you tell me any of this before?”
“Arthur is mercurial and a very private person. If he doesn't want anyone to see his 'stupidity' or valor that's his choice.” Gaius smiled his affirmation and went back to his study. Merlin sighed and laid himself on his bed. Whether he would fall asleep very soon or not didn't seem to matter. Nor what came of his honesty. What mattered was whether the man knew what he really thought and why he chose the actions he chose. He fell asleep with one thought on his mind: What did Lancelot think he knew about their friendship?

“That's everything that happened that night.” Merlin told his confused friend a day later. They'd been wise enough to hold most of their conversation out in the countryside. But eventually the half answers and doubt-filled looks Merlin gave off were heeded and correctly interpreted by Lancelot. Who invited his friend 'home' so he could hear the rest of the story. Once again, they were in Merlin's room, alone.
“Why include the bit about our friendship? Do you think it would help?” Merlin nodded and looked at his friend expectantly. “Alright,” Lancelot agreed. but I need something from you first.”
“Alright, name it and I'll fulfill it at all costs and any way can.” Merlin promised firmly.
“Do you have an affinity for Emrys?” Whether yes or no, why or why not?” Was the simple prompt.
“I can't deny liking him from what I know of him. And I know you agree with me on that.”
“What do you feel about wizards in general?” Lancelot pressed on.
“What are you getting at? I don't hold all wizards in the same category. I know them better than that.”
“...Not a very skilled attempt at denial. I won't take it as any attempt to avoid the truth. You are a wizard Merlin, a fact you prefer to hide. Whether for of fear of Arthur's prejudice or out of loyalty to him I know not. At the same time you are the best example and proof that not all wizards are like Morganna. You could change the world for the better, and Arthur's mind in one stroke if you wanted to.”
“Lancelot you misunderstood me.” Merlin announced in a voice more strong and flat than any he'd used to that point. “I'm not denying I'm a wizard. But it shouldn't be that much of a revelation to you. And you don't have to dance around your own conclusions and suspicions to me. I never danced around you.”
Lancelot felt his face go red. A moment later he was sure his skin had turned pale. “Am I right about the rest of it?” Was all he could think to say.
“I am loyal to Arthur, I count him my closest friend. Though You and Gwaine seemed more attached to me, except as your liege...The point is I follow him everywhere and in every way I can.”
“Then why do you hide?” A strange voice echoed through the walls.
“Because I still need proof other than myself.” Merlin answered without thinking. “You might think any and all of this answers each other. And maybe you're right. I can't do this alone and I can't shake my own fear that Arthur will reject who I am exactly because of what I am. Lancelot, for the sake of friendship and peace, and I don't mean just between us, I am asking you to let Arthur find this out on his own. Unless he directly asks you to share the secret that's been buried in your heart. And I just now realized something.”
“What's that my friend?” Lancelot asked in a sincerely subdued and puzzled tone.
“...That you're not the one to have asked him that last question.” I told them both gently. The look on the knight's face made me very glad I had chosen the sky blue sweater and the thicker dark blue, naturally built trousers. I don't think he could have accepted a more honest look. “Lancelot you may not remember me and that is fine. Suffice it to say other than yourself and Gaius, I am the only friend of Merlin's to know his secret. And I have never had the courage or forthright attitude you have shown, even though I agree entirely with everything you have suggested.”
“You don't think I should hide this part of who I am?” Merlin asked me after a few moments of quiet.
“I think it should be an admission, not an accident or confrontation.” I told him plainly. “And yes, I was a coward not to tell you my thoughts. But I follow your lead here and you wanted silence. Otherwise I would have suggested to Arthur that he acknowledge your loyalty...and let thing go from there.”
“I very much doubt...” Merlin began. He caught a look in my eye and stopped himself. “You mean you would have let the conversation go from there, knowing it would have led to this revelation?” I nodded. “Well I hate to say it but you're wrong, at least about one thing.” I cocked my head to the left side. “My realization wasn't that Lancelot hadn't asked me my question. I knew you were here. The realization was that I was being way more open and honest than I ever would have been, even speaking to Lancelot.”
“You think I brought this on you, even though I wasn't here until a minute ago?” My exasperation was only half genuine but it seemed to work as Merlin slowly but firmly nodded his head. “My friend you should have Gaius examine your skin for wounds and tinted things.” I replied simply.
“What for?” Lancelot and Merlin asked me together.
“You are both right and wrong. Something is sapping you of your self control...but it isn't me. If I'm right and this started that day in the vale, it might be sapping you of strength and willpower as well. And as a matter of course, if my vision and sight can be relied upon at all, something of the truth of Emrys and Gaius will come out of your mouth quite soon. And I don't think that needs any elaboration.”

I vanished from their sight a moment later. I debated closing the window in my mind that let me see into their world. I thought I knew enough what would happen to them. Merlin's wound would be treated, they would find out that he had basically been cursed to be brutally honest, and Lancelot would eventually convince Merlin to be perfectly frank and open with Arthur. I'm glad I kept an eye on them though, because the reality of their world, and their adventures, turned out to be something quite different.
It began like this: “What was she referring to Merlin? What do Gaius and Emrys have in common?” I judged Lancelot's curiosity was well placed. And apparently so did Merlin.
“Morganna hired a wizard named Alator to get information out of Gaius. It really was information to help bring down the kingdom, as Gaius told Arthur when Gwaine and I rescued him. But it was far more specific than that. It was about the powers and whereabouts of the sorcerer Emrys. She knows that old man is a threat to her. Which is why I believed she framed that wizard for Uther's death.”
“...But how could she have known Arthur would seek out that particular wizard?” Lancelot mused.
“Well you have a point there.” Merlin considered gently. “Maybe it was simply the fact that Magic would have been 'proven' to kill Uther and that a broken prince would make a terrible king.”
“Merlin, there's something I have to do. Please excuse me tonight and forgive me tomorrow.”
The knight bowed deeply to the young man and left Merlin's quarters without another word.

This seems as good a time as any to tell you what led up to this encounter, and this revelation. I felt Merlin calling on me. And naturally I showed up to him a few moments later. I didn't bother searching the room to see if anyone else was present, or even where in their adventures I was being called from. I had some vague notion of knocking on the door to the chamber in which I knew Merlin and Arthur were sitting, being called in and going from there. Instead I found myself in facing Merlin with Arthur standing a bit to the wizard's left, and a little closer to me.
“Do you know why you're here?” Arthur asked me about 10 seconds after I showed up.
“My guess is that you've just had some secret or other either pried from you or thrown in your face.”
“...Thrown in my face, by Merlin. I want to know if you knew about him too.”
I looked at Merlin to see how embarrassed he was at the revelation, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary with him. “Him who?” I queried.
Merlin smiled and took a step closer to me. “Agravaine has been proven a double-tonged traitor and Arthur wants to know why you've kept quiet about it all this time.”
“My loyalty to Merlin would have compelled me to speak when he asked me to. But my friendship to him would have restrained me to silence for his sake.” I answered them both simply. “And I hope you'll forgive my being blunt about it but is there anything in the southern plains that a party of four on foot could discover a lot quicker than a larger party on horseback?”
“I honestly did not expect anything like that to come out of your mouth ever.” Arthur admitted.
“I used to excel at word games but for as long as you've known me, I've never been one to proverbially 'beat around the bush'...to dance or tiptoe around any given topic or problem at hand?” I asked them both. My brow and eyes furrowed in deep thought. I can tell that because of Merlin's reaction to my expression, as much as what was crossing my mind at that moment.
“What is it Sasha?” Merlin asked me in a voice as full of concern as of courtesy.
“How in the name of all things rational and sane could Lancelot take part in this excursion, assuming you even agree to it?” I told them firmly. Merlin and Arthur exchanged troubled looks. “What's wrong?” I all but demanded of them.
“Lancelot is back in Camelot.” Arthur told me in a musical tone, as though he were humoring me.
“The two of you, plus he and Percival really could go to the Southern plains and deal with whatever you will find there?” I asked Arthur plainly.
“Yes but I'd have a lot of questions as to why.” The King responded coolly.
“Kristan, Arthur, you have a lot of questions anyway. I have faith and trust that if you DO follow my advice, anything and everything that ensues will answer almost every single question you've wanted to ask me since Gwaine showed up and I took the name he gave me.”“He'll need incentive more than assurance.” I heard from Merlin's mind. I smiled at both of them and took a plunge to Arthur.“I'll make a bargain with you: As soon as you can tomorrow morning, follow my advice, give it about three days of 'come what may' and I will answer every single question left in your head at the third sunset.”
Arthur was accustomed to making snap decisions and answered. “That is a bargain, and I accept.”

The morning after Lancelot's cryptic exit the King called Merlin into the council chamber and the only other person around was Sir Gwaine, standing to the left of the head-bent, seated king. “Merlin I need you to me honest with me.” Was the first thing out of the King's mouth.
“Right now I couldn't help that if I wanted.” Came the dead serious response. “Why is Gwaine here?”
“He's not joking.” Gwaine interjected before Arthur could say a word. “He just doesn't get it.”
“He's here,” The King began slowly. “cause he can see through and interpret your nonsense a lot better than I can. And it is he and not Lance because I don't want you to think Lance is at risk.”
“IS he?” Merlin persisted.
“No.” The King declared. “You told me he wasn't keeping any great secret from me and I believe you at that. He wasn't. But I can sense now his heart is burdened and his spirit is smothered. My conclusion is that he now is carrying some great secret and I think it's something YOU told him.”
“Gwaine you are very much not going to like this and Arthur even less so.” Merlin began. “But I can't lie right now. And I told you both, at various times, that I wouldn't lie if it ever came down to this.”
“Merlin I think you misinterpret what we're asking about.” Gwaine replied with a small smile.
“The question at hand is if you know where Gweneviere is.” Arthur admitted gently. “Failing that if you know where Emyrs is so I can thank him for saving both Gwen and Lancelot's life at different times. Maybe then he will help me find her.”
“So you accept the potion the old man planted, and that he got caught were a deliberate attempt to save Gwen from being burned for the self-same crime?” Merlin all but yelped.
“I may not have shown it, but I have at least suspected that as truth for a long time.” Arthur replied, smiling his head off now as well. “As a matter of course, what did you think I had called you in here for?”
“...I thought you were going to pry the secret Lancelot is now carrying out of my dreadfully honest lips. I'm cursed to be brutally honest until this either wears off or we find some one to take it off of me.”
Gwaine fidgeted where he stood. “Merlin I don't understand. You've always been brutally honest. It's one of the things I like the most about you.” A memory seemed to play across his face and his mind. “Well and your acceptance of my father's belief that titles don't mean anything and it's what's inside that counts.”
King Arthur turned toward the knight at his left. “Your father's belief?!”
Merlin almost physically jumped into the conversation. “It's from the first time he came to Camelot...We were polishing the army's shoes...He told me his father was a knight and he didn't want any part of that world. It was something I well understood.” He rattled off as though there was nothing unusual in his words.
“He's right your highness.” Gwaine admitted coolly.
“That stands as proof Merlin is even more brutally honest than normal.” Arthur conceded. “But why would it have mattered to Morganna? What use could that be to her?”
Merlin's reply to that was almost instantaneous. “She wants to get her hands on Emrys. Whom she blames for spoiling her plans more times than I have. Including the femarrah she placed in my neck.” It was more than understandable that both pairs of eyes in the room stared at Merlin at that point. “Arthur please don't...”
“What was that creature for? What was it supposed to do?” But for some reason, and it took Merlin a moment to recognize this, those words and that question belonged to Gwaine, not Arthur.
“It burred a home in my neck and had been cursed to consume my mind with the mission to destroy you, Arthur. And to answer your next questions...Morganna saw the old wizard at her hideout as he destroyed the femarrah, the source of the one in my neck. She concluded that Gaius had sent him to save my life.”
“Which is why Gaius was kidnapped at all!” Arthur stated thoroughly irked. “Merlin why didn't you tell me about this?!” And in a slightly calmer tone he reconsidered the question. “Why didn't Gaius?”
“Because Aggrivane abducted him.” Merlin breathed. “Gaius knew how dear your uncle was to you. He didn't want to create a mess of accusation and doubt where already was much secrecy and intimidation.” The servant wizard drew his hands behind his back but raised his head to look his liege straight in the eyes. “I told you I would be brutally honest. That this mess is wearing off doesn't change that. But I am asking you Arthur, trust me to tell you the rest of it on my own...when once again I have a choice and it will be my own decision.” He considered his next words. “I don't think that needs elaborating.”
“No Merlin it doesn't.” Arthur answered simply. “Although I am fairly grateful you've chosen to stand up for yourself at last.” King Arthur drew himself to his full, ramrod straight height, motioned Gwaine to follow him out of the council chamber and told Merlin offhandedly to go where he felt he was meant to.
Merlin smiled at the unintended humor. When he noticed Gwaine was smiling too, Arthur asked Merlin to explain. “I've been doing that for almost six years. I know what you mean and I thank you for it.”
“...Almost?” Arthur breathed at last.
“Well becoming your servant in the first place wasn't my choice. But deciding I was willing to die for you or jump down a dragon's throat to save your life certainly was.” Merlin's face turned pure white.
Arthur once again looked thunderstruck as he considered the ramifications of what might be the next words out of Merlin's mouth, or his own. “Merlin, are you honestly trying to tell me...?”
“That wasn't a reference to the dragon Arthur. Someone once told me I'd jump down a dragon's throat for you if I didn't trip over my own feet first. I was simply indicating that she was right.”
“So Sasha and you really are great friends.” The King replied, abating a little. Merlin nodded firmly.
Gwaine stepped about 6 paces closer to his younger friend. “How close Merlin?”
“She wants to tell Arthur my secret.” The young wizard admitted gently, but only to Gwaine, and only in the soldier’s mind. Merlin turned to his liege once again. “She wanted to create a situation where, after talking with her, you'd confront me on...what I thought this whole thing was about. But she says she follows my lead here and thus has kept silence. I seriously wish this hadn't happened. But I think we all know in our hearts what this means...what I'm talking about.”
“You are a sorcerer?” Arthur yelped. “Is that what you've been keeping from me all this time?”
“It's worse than that my King.” Merlin answered coolly. “I AM Emrys.”
I owe it to Merlin to leave the rest of the admissions private. I saw it for myself of course. My sense of honor and loyalty tell me to keep at least this much hidden. I don't think he'd like me advertising his humiliation and fear. My my expectations of Merlin's emotions as it turned out, were entirely misplaced.
In my defense my conclusion about Lancelot had been correct. He had asked Merlin's pardon before leaving the room exactly because he was leaving to tell Arthur what he had learned. I'm not sure how much loner it was before I knocked on the door to Arthur's chambers, intent on a very particular discussion. He didn't call me in, he physically opened the door for me. When I'd closed the door tightly and turned back to face him, I bowed at the waist, with my hands at my sides...and he promptly backed away.
“My King, why is there such intimidation in your eyes?” I asked him what I thought was calmly.
“Are you one of them also?” He told me in reply.
I waited a moment, and straightened my back, before answering. “I've abilities that can only be described as magical yes. Well, that's the best explanation for them any one has ever come up with. I count myself an ally or even a friend to at least three of you here. I am emphatically not one of Morgouse or Morganna's group.” I stared at his face for a moment, and realized outwardly the reason for his question. “But if you mean am I one of the people who knew Merlin's secret, that's affirmative. It really couldn't be helped.”
“Oh? And how exactly is that, would you say?” The King replied appropriately testily.
“Sire, you might want to sit down to hear all of this. It's quite a lengthy tale.” He sat down at his desk and continued to glare at me. “I saw Merlin in the stocks the very first time you put him there. But he and I didn't actually meet as fellows and on even footing, or again at all, for almost a year. I accidentally showed Merlin my powers...by dropping the facade that I was dressed like everyone else. After noticing his complete lack of a reaction, I asked him if he would let me show him what I normally used my powers for. Accordingly, once he firmly nodded his head, I made a lemon tea and carrot cake out of thin air. Then I asked him why he didn't seem shocked or scared at the use of what could only be explained as magic. He saw no reason what so ever to hide his own powers at that point, and created some good bread and jam, also out of thin air. It was an event never to be forgotten. Although I must admit that I did forget, until three days ago. And he was keeping MY secret about that event, not the other way around.”
“How exactly was that hard to avoid?” Arthur pressed on.
“On my part if not on his Sire.” I told the King firmly. “I trusted him and he, by his own blasted code of honor had to trust me. He wasn't shocked, scared, angry or afraid at my powers. A very little time later, even without knowing I could see him, he amiably and boldly proved I could trust his judgment. He told Sigen that he didn't want the roles reversed or the unfairness amplified.”
“Speak as plainly and completely as though you had no choice in the matter.” Lancelot's voice echoed as I realized he had been there all the time.
I obeyed with pause but without complaint. “At first Merlin only turned that warlock's promises away with what he himself had been told by others, rather than anything he believed of his own. Until this monster promised and I quote 'if you join me Arthur will tremble at your voice; he will kneel at your feet'. Which had the very opposite of the intended effect. Merlin flatly refused because he didn't want that horrid thing. He said it was 'better to serve a good man than to rule with an evil one'. And as long as he still thinks that and follows through with that belief, I follow his lead!” Lancelot and Arthur just stared at me for a moment. “I'm very sure Merlin would see it as self-seeking or boasting if he were to broach the subject himself. Which, along with Lancelot's request, is why I have held noting back. I feel like a quisling for saying all of that...A traitor. It should have been Merlin's choice and definitely I should have asked him first. I remain confident most of it needed saying ” Arthur looked at me with a shadow of suspicion. “Hell no was this Merlin's idea.”
CRASH! “What the bloody hell was that?” I asked Arthur and Lancelot. Neither man seemed to know what I was referring to, so I decided to ignore it. I should mention now that I turned the conversation away from what was really important. Which is why I'm not recording it. It was a couple of minutes of talking about nothing in particular that I started paying attention to anything. And that was simply because of these words. “At least now you can fulfill your second promise to my father.” It was King Arthur that said them and once I realized those words had even escaped his lips I looked at him, overtly and sincerely confused “To stay for good and all if and when you figured out that you could.” The king told me, as though it were the most obvious and natural thing in the world.
“There's more than one problem here. How the hell do you even know that was my second promise to Uther. Also at least two more things have to happen before that comes to pass. The first is something to do with Princess Mithian. Guinevere has to come back home...Become the once and future Queen.”
Everyone was dead silent for about a minute of time. “Has Merlin not told you of a particular title people have for you?” I teased the king good-naturedly. Arthur shook his head slowly. “...Then I seriously just messed up. Please don't hold onto your anger forever. I can think of enough of those in my time.”
“Sasha, as formally and respectfully as I know how, I am calling on you to fulfill your promise, and stay.” Arthur told in in what was meant to be a kindly tone.
“You don't get it do you?!” I yelped at him. “I'll stay for good and all when your adventures end and your experiences continue. When I can no longer be held to promises I never made, only to obligations I am honor bound not to fulfill. And that hasn't happened yet as far as I can tell. Asking me to stay now, and asking me to keep my promise to Uther are not the same thing. Even implying that they are is specious.” I calmed myself down a moment later. “Then again, the fact that I've even been able to stay here in this room as long as I have can be taken as a sign that I really could stay if I wanted to. Lancelot is still here. Not everything is happening as I assumed it would. And it's high time I acted on what I now know to be true. Which in this case means holding you each to your own words.”
“Are you forcing yourself to say all of these things?” Lancelot asked me in a queer voice.
“Yes.” I answered him simply. “I wanted to see if I could. And the very fact that I got those words out proves something even more weird than I thought is going on right now. I wasn't affected by any truth serum. There's no way in HELL I'd break faith and admit half this stuff, except to Merlin.”
I woke up a few minutes later with Gaius and Merlin standing over me. Both men had very confused and concerned expressions on their faces. And Arthur himself was pacing the floor a few feet away from the bed on which I lay. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. It was just another vision. Everything I had seen in my head was perfectly valid, in that had I been bold enough to say those things, that would have likely been the response. The relief I felt at this realization was cut short however when I realized why Arthur was there. Not everything I'd said was 'all in my head'. He wanted to finish the conversation we had started.

I vanished from his sight a few moments later. He'll call on me for Guinevere’s coronation. I won't show up to anyone in their world before then..Not unless Lancelot calls on me for some unsearchable reason. It'll feel weird holding Miri's Table-the table of peace for everyone – Gwen, Gaius and Lancelot. I'll not say a word against it. Things are actually turning out far better than I could have hoped.
That's what I thought. Then I realized I had absolutely no reason to think that things would turn out as I had seen them in my visions. So I went to tell Gweneviere to go to Ealdor. I'm really not sure how far I even got toward that place; I'd never measured the distance. But I dropped on my side not too long after sunset. It must have been the right place though, I wouldn't have just let myself fall asleep otherwise.
I was just sitting beside a birch tree and she sat down in front of me, just like that. But for some reason it was out of concern not friendship. She wanted to know if I was ill. It took a while to convince her I was the same woman who'd helped tend the wounded at the dragon's attack, and that I still knew what I was talking about. Then she asked me why I was suggesting she go to Ealdor. At first I didn't answer her.
“Seriously, I won't change my mind and go back to Merlin's home just because you tell me to. They don't know either of us.”
“Gwen are you serious?!” I yelped at her. “They won't take you in because of me, but they do know who you are. You helped defend them against the raiders. Not to mention Merlin talked about you all the time. They will know that you can help and are a good person...to have around.”
“Well, yes I suppose that is true.” She answered slowly. “But there's another reason is there not?”
“Yes there is. It's the only place outside Camelot proper that I both know about and would...I was never very good at hiding the truth. But you might want to sit down for this.”
“I am sitting down.” She told me gently.
“...Lancelot is alive and a knight of Camelot again.” Her face told me she was more stunned than in doubt. “Now don't get me wrong, his heart was restored, his memory took a while. When his name and his conscience finally both cleared he suggested to the King that he, that is Arthur should find you, ask You for pardon bring you back and marry you. It took a couple of days of talking to Merlin, and to me, for Arthur to begin to act on this advice. Or should I call it what it is: act on what I take to be his true heart on the matter. I made a BIG mistake and told him to go to Ealdor to find you.”
“Sasha, how did you know about the raiders? You didn't show up to any of us until a while later?”
“I took a look back to what happened here before I arrived. I can do that from my apartment way back wherever. It's as good a way as any to give context to the struggles we all face...and fill in the gaps for the time missing between my visits. And do I correctly infer that I didn't make as big a mistake as I had thought?”
The tiny smile on her face became a broad grin. “Very much you were right.”
“In that case, I better get out of here before Hunith starts asking who the blazes I am.” I told her with a laugh. “Although even I have to admit...I hope you take a certain piece of news as well as Arthur did.”
“Sasha,” Gwen began slowly. “I know better than to ask you what you mean. But something tells me you had something else on your mind.”
“From what I understand Aggrivane has been revealed as a traitor. But Morganna might make another attempt on the throne, even without Aggrivane's help. If so I really screwed up by trying to move this forward.”
Gwen's face distorted a little bit, though I couldn't really tell what from.“Have you nothing that can save her?”
“...I assume you mean 'from herself'. And the answer is no. She wants assistance for her plans, not help for her cause.” I noticed Gwen staring at me. So I clarified. “She works in the name of righting the wrongs done her and her kind by Uther Pendragon. But doesn't really care anything about that. She doesn't even care about herself enough to let me help her. She just wants followers and lieutenants. I'm afraid she might have just found one. Even if I'm wrong, there's at least two more people nearby who's faces I would love to see as they realize that Arthur is not his father and really is someone people are proud to call their sovereign. I know I'm using your own words. And I believe that you were correct when you said them.”
“What exactly are you getting at?” Gwen near-demanded.
“Those who were around the table, the court of the ancient kings already believed in either Merlin or Arthur's vision of the future...if not in both. If Aggrivane can no longer further Morganna's plans, you may be assured she will find another way to try to conquer the kingdom all over again. I'm almost hoping she does. Otherwise these two travelers will never see Arthur for who he truly is...Or as anything but a 'noble brat'.”
“I sense a however coming?” Gwen prodded me.
“I don't know if I can be part of what's about to happen, assuming anything other than what I myself have set in motion IS in the reckoning.”
“And if nothing but those things are coming?” Gwen persisted.
“I just realized you had been asking what's happened at Camelot the past four days. Which in short order is this: Merlin has had his greatest secret pried from him by Arthur and Gwaine. On a different note, Arthur now knows everything and anything about why I keep coming back here, as well as the story behind my intent to eventually stay. Well, the main reason I would want to stay. My confidence that it will eventually come is tied up in something else. Alator is either protected from prosecution or about to be in some very serious trouble. All that's really needed is a revelation about Emrys...or maybe that's been covered as well. I wonder, if things are as changed as I think...Maybe Alator will come back in time to help.”
"I assume the mysterious parts of what you just said..." Gwen began simply.
"...are best explained by Emrys and Alator themselves.” I finished. “Which you might soon hear. Though it will NOT be from my lips. Listen, Merlin has unwavering and unflinching trust in and devotion for Arthur. That's exactly my sentiment for him. I'm pretty sure you've seen at least part of that by now?” Gwen nodded, with a sad smile on her face. “I must admit I'm confused who Emrys and Alator even are.”
“The two less than normal sharers of Merlin's secret. And considered by any-one except Merlin to be the two least trustworthy people in Camelot. That might be the single greatest messing up I've done since I came to Camelot at the challenge with the black knight.”
“What did you actually come here to tell me?” Gweneviere asked me.
“I think it a roundabout way I've said everything I came here to say. The problem is, I've said a little more than that. But please Gweneviere, go to Ealdor. Things are probably in motion already. They were side-tracked if I'm right. But at least some of this will play out as it would have done. It's actually my mission now that Arthur sees both you and himself exactly you truly are. You complete each-other.”
“You've never mentioned that to me before.”
“It was a truth known and shared by every one for whom it mattered. I've never failed to notice that only you and Merlin are both wise and courageous enough to tell Arthur to see with his heart more than his eyes. Usually that had something to do with seeing what was right in front of his face. I just was waiting for him to remember what he's known for ages...that's all.”
I disappeared from the five kingdoms right then. I came back for the coronation though....

“I'm an invalid where I'm from. I'm trapped and I'm ill. No one bothers to see beyond my sickness. So in a way I guess I'm a prisoner. But believe me when I tell you that I won't need a very big room to call my own when I do stay for good and all. Whether I will have a thing to do with Morganna leaving you alone is anyone's guess. I have magic, but I cannot use it that way. I never have done and I don't intend to start now.”
I vanished from his sight a few moments later. He'll call on me for Guinevere’s coronation. I won't show up to anyone in their world before then..Not unless Lancelot calls on me for some unsearchable reason. It'll feel weird holding Miri's Table-the table of peace for everyone – Gwen, Gaius and Lancelot. I'll not say a word against it. Things are actually turning out far better than I could have hoped.
That's what I thought. Then I realized I had absolutely no reason to think that things would turn out as I had seen them in my visions. So I went to tell Gweneviere to go to Ealdor. I'm really not sure how far I even got toward that place; I'd never measured the distance. But I dropped on my side not too long after sunset. It must have been the right place though, I wouldn't have just let myself fall asleep otherwise.
I was just sitting beside a birch tree and she sat down in front of me, just like that. But for some reason it was out of concern not friendship. She wanted to know if I was ill. It took a while to convince her I was the same woman who'd helped tend the wounded at the dragon's attack, and that I still knew what I was talking about. Then she asked me why I was suggesting she go to Ealdor. At first I didn't answer her.
“Seriously, I won't change my mind and go back to Merlin's home just because you tell me to. They don't know either of us.”
“Gwen are you serious?!” I yelped at her. “They won't take you in because of me, but they do know who you are. You helped defend them against the raiders. Not to mention Merlin talked about you all the time. They will know that you can help and are a good person...to have around.”
“Well, yes I suppose that is true.” She answered slowly. “But there's another reason is there not?”
“Yes there is. It's the only place outside Camelot proper that I both know about and would...I was never very good at hiding the truth. But you might want to sit down for this.”
“I am sitting down.” She told me gently.
“...Lancelot is alive and a knight of Camelot again.” Her face told me she was more stunned than in doubt. “Now don't get me wrong, his heart was restored, his memory took a while. When his name and his conscience finally both cleared he suggested to the King that he, that is Arthur should find you, ask You for pardon bring you back and marry you. It took a couple of days of talking to Merlin, and to me, for Arthur to begin to act on this advice. Or should I call it what it is: act on what I take to be his true heart on the matter. I made a BIG mistake and told him to go to Ealdor to find you.”
“Sasha, how did you know about the raiders? You didn't show up to any of us until a while later?”
“I took a look back to what happened here before I arrived. I can do that from my apartment way back wherever. It's as good a way as any to give context to the struggles we all face...and fill in the gaps for the time missing between my visits. Do I correctly infer that I didn't make as big a mistake as I had thought?”
The tiny smile on her face became a broad grin. “Very much you were right.”
“In that case, I better get out of here before Hunith starts asking who the blazes I am.” I told her with a laugh. “Although even I have to admit...I hope you take a certain piece of news as well as Arthur did.”
“Sasha,” Gwen began slowly. “I know better than to ask you what you mean. But something tells me you had something else on your mind.”
“From what I understand Aggrivane has been revealed as a traitor. Morganna might make an attempt on the throne, even without his help. If so I really screwed up by trying to move this forward.” Gwen's face distorted a little bit, though I couldn't really tell what from.
“...Have you nothing that can save her?” She whispered.
“...I assume you mean 'from herself'. And the answer is no. She wants assistance for her plans, not help for her cause.” I noticed Gwen staring at me. So I clarified. “She works in the name of righting the wrongs done her and her kind by Uther Pendragon. But doesn't really care anything about that. She doesn't even care about herself enough to let me help her. She just wants followers and lieutenants. I'm afraid she might have just found one. Even if I'm wrong, there's at least two more people nearby who's faces I would love to see as they realize that Arthur is not his father and really is someone people are proud to call their sovereign. I know for a fact that I'm using your own words. I believe you were correct when you said them.”
“What exactly are you getting at?” Gwen near-demanded.
“Those who were around the table, the court of the ancient kings already believed in either Merlin or Arthur's vision of the future...if not in both. If Aggrivane can not further Morganna's plans; be assured she will find another way to try to conquer the kingdom all over again. I'm almost hoping she does. Otherwise these two travelers will never see Arthur for who he truly is...Or as anything but a 'noble brat'.”
“I sense a however coming?” Gwen prodded me.
“I don't know if I can be part of what's about to happen, assuming anything other than what I myself have set in motion IS in the reckoning.”
“And if nothing but those things are coming?” Gwen persisted.
“I just realized you had been asking what's happened at Camelot the past four days. Which in short order is this: Merlin has had his greatest secret pried from him by Arthur and Gwaine. On a different note, Arthur now knows everything and anything about why I keep coming back here, as well as the story behind my intent to eventually stay. Well, the main reason I would want to stay. My confidence that it will eventually come is tied up in something else. Alator is either protected from prosecution or about to be in some very serious trouble. All that's really needed is a revelation about Emrys...or maybe that's been covered as well. I wonder, if things are as changed as I think...Maybe Alator will come back in time to help.”
"I assume the mysterious parts of what you just said..." Gwen began simply.
"...are best explained by Emrys and Alator themselves.” I finished. “Which you might soon hear. Though it will NOT be from my lips. Listen, Merlin has unwavering and unflinching trust in and devotion for Arthur. That's exactly my sentiment for him. I'm pretty sure you've seen at least part of that by now?” Gwen nodded, with a sad smile on her face. “I must admit I'm confused who Emrys and Alator even are.”
“The two less than normal sharers of Merlin's secret. And considered by any-one except Merlin to be the two least trustworthy people in Camelot. That might be the single greatest messing up I've done since I came to Camelot at the challenge with the black knight.”
“What did you actually come here to tell me?” Gweneviere asked me.
“I think it a roundabout way I've said everything I came here to say. The problem is, I've said a little more than that. But please Gweneviere, go to Ealdor. Things are probably in motion already. They were side-tracked if I'm right. But at least some of this will play out as it would have done. It's actually my mission now that Arthur sees both you and himself exactly you truly are. You complete each-other.”
“You've never mentioned that to me before.”
“It was a truth known and shared by every one for whom it mattered. I've never failed to notice that only you and Merlin are both wise and courageous enough to tell Arthur to see with his heart more than his eyes. Usually that had something to do with seeing what was right in front of his face. I just was waiting for him to remember what he's known for ages...that's all.”
I disappeared from Camelot right then. I came back for the coronation though....

“I can take a guess.” Merlin prompted as they turned to leave the room, side by side.
King Arthur smiled at his friend. “Last time she was dying it was in a prison cell and she was still so careful with her words. Now we are both ready for this...and I think she knows she can speak openly.” He didn't say anything more until they were almost to Sasha's room. “Merlin, what did you expect from me?”
“I didn't have any specific expectations.” Merlin answered. “I mean I had rather assumed you'd be furious at a liar like me, if not at the fact that I was a sorcerer and everything that usually entailed. I had hoped to make one thing clear: I am who I am whether I can move things with my mind or not.”
“And what is that? I mean what and who do you see yourself as?” Arthur's question had come on the heels of Merlin's last response. For some reason, Merlin was having trouble finding an answer that fit.
“I...Some combination of a servant, a protector and a friend...Our history is more complicated than you knew, but I never lied to you about anything.”
“Except what you even were.” Arthur persisted.
At which point I showed up in front of them. I could tell from Merlin's face that my face was either completely pink or pale as oatmeal. “I think he means that he is happy to be your servant til the day he dies. He's always told you to trust in yourself, to do what you believe is right not what your father or even either of us would have you do...though our opinion and your own usually went hand in hand. For his sake I'll not explain what four words convinced me of this, but you need to understand: He has always put your well being ahead of his own...that wasn't a lie.”
I folded my hands as though in a prayer to indicate the story was over-with. Arthur sat there puzzled for a very short period of time. “What four words?” He asked me curtly.
“I should have expected that.” I said with a faint smile. After a few seconds I answered him in a rush. “Merlin once told an evil sorcerer he didn't want to lord his power over people, especially not over you. It suggested that...well the four words were 'I don't want that'. As long as he keeps his heart pure, a servant's heart and a loyal one, I'll follow him to the death. As he obviously would for you.”

“Alright, now I really am listening intently.” Arthur breathed.
The conversation lasted for hours. It was as close to an honest report on the question of what makes a person who they are as one would ever want to hear. It didn't detail anything Merlin had done with his magic to help Arthur, only what Merlin had told Arthur as an advisor: to trust in himself, in his own beliefs. It ended thus.
“Sire, there's one thing that really needs saying. But I don't have Merlin's consent for it yet.”
“You really do follow him in all things don't you.” Arthur stated solemnly.
Sasha couldn't tell if this was a question, an assumption or a taunt. Assuming it wasn't the latter-most, she began. “I trust his judgment as devoutly and unswervingly as he trusts you, yes. That's not my only reason for holding back. He needs to offer this knowledge and explanation...or it's just hearsay and slander.”
At what Sasha judged to be the most inconvenient time ever they heard Merlin's voice interject. “Arthur there you are what have you been...up to.”
Sasha stood up and stared her first friend in the face.“Merlin we are both in very deep trouble. And I was about to be in worse trouble than you are.”
“Then I showed up at exactly the right time.” Merlin stated firmly, with a confidence he obviously did not feel. He looked his more easy going friend in the eyes with a serious question.
“Arthur didn't remember what we thought he knew.” Sasha stated unwavering. “I filled him in on that conversation. There's something else needs to know, something I...” Sasha looked sad and took a breath. “He needs to know what the Kalex and Aggrivane obviously knew.”
This statement seemed to be too much for Arthur's brain, and his patience. “What in the name of anything are you talking about? What's the Kalex...and what does my uncle have to do with anything?”
Merlin looked crestfallen. “The Kalex was a gate-keeper to the spirit world. I think she told Morganna about 'the one they call Emrys' and it became an obsession for her. To my understanding Morganna has never figured out that 'the most troublesome serving boy I've ever known' could be the one she was told to fear. Aggrivane figured it out moments before his treachery killed him. Almost everyone with magic knows me as 'Emrys'...that IS my name among the druids.”