Work Text:
when the blows come,
the slaps and the kicks and the words
louis wasn’t expecting it.
it had been years since anyone had paid him any real attention,
and suddenly all these people were screaming and surrounding him because
he was bleeding out on the clubs floor.
and its been years since that whole boy band thing ended,
but people still know who he is, who he was.
someone he doesn’t know is cradling his head in their lap,
desperately trying to keep him awake.
he isn’t sure that he wants to
(he always thought his life was a dream)
----
one direction’s break up hadn’t been how anyone had expected it.
there wasn’t some big fight
or scandal or anything really.
it was just kind of.
it was just.
it was.
(it happened and none of the boys really know how)
----
one direction’s life after their break up also didn’t end up like anyone expected.
because no one expected them to drift.
well, the boys didn’t at least.
they didn’t expect time differences and long voicemails.
they didn’t expect missed birthdays or gossip articles or distance.
(they sure as fuck didn’t expect that their first get together after 5 years would be in louis’ hospital room)
----
contrary to popular belief, louis tomlinson and harry styles were not in a relationship.
yes, they had been hooking up.
yes, sometimes, louis looked at harry like he was stars and the moon and everything inbetween.
yes, sometimes, harry looked at louis like he was the sun and the warmth on his skin.
but, no harry styles and louis tomlinson were not in love
(really, they weren’t, they promised)
----
the day liam heard about louis was the day a thunderstorm scared loki under the bed.
liam was trying to coax him out with a trail of a million treats, when his phone rang.
he had sighed and knee-walked over to the bedside table and grabbed it.
and.
well louis hadn’t called liam in years.
and yet.
liam picked up the phone.
(he was met with a frantic jay telling him that louis might not make it through the night).
----
he had called the rest of the boys of course.
well. he had called all the boys mothers.
because. because it’s not like they would pick up the phone for him anyways
(and god that hurt more than he ever thought it could)
----
harry arrived at liams flat first.
he was jet-lagged and cross and scared.
zayn stumbled in a few hours later, chain smoking and sporting a dagger tattoo below his ear.
and finally niall arrived, as bright and bubbly as always.
the car ride to the hospital was silent, save for the radio blaring nicks breakfast show because of course he was still doing that.
(it wasn’t a tense silence, but it wasn’t like they were fucking kids again.)
----
they all walk in at the same time and stop because louis.
he has tubes down his throat and his face is swollen and, oh god,
half his head is shaved and wrapped in a white bandage.
harry runs into the bathroom and pukes.
(it’s been five years and yet he still remembers the smell of louis’ hair in morning just as the sun peeked in through the window)
----
its just,
here, in this dark space,
louis doesn’t have to be brave or lonely or funny.
he can, for once in his life be silent
(and not have everyone pestering him because of it)
----
that doesn’t mean he can’t hear his mum and his sisters and his fucking bandmates.
ex-bandmates.
talking above him as he sleeps.
(he wonders if they can hear him thinking)
----
the boys stay.
they sit in louis’ room and watch movies on the shitty hospital tv and go on food runs.
and everyday they take turns buying louis a new cd or pair of shoes or a poster.
just so he has something to wake up for.
(because yeah, they haven’t really been a reason for louis to do anything in forever.)
----
harry takes to holding louis' hand.
he counts lou’s fingers over and over and over again everyday.
like he used to when they would finish kissing each others breaths away.
he sits next to louis’ torn up face counting his fingers and telling him that
yeah, louis you were always the breaths in between and the breeze in the trees
(yeah, louis you always had my heart)
----
louis wakes up.
and its scary because when he wakes up he chokes on the tubes in his throat.
and starts crying really hard and claws at his neck.
nurses and doctors stream in a push harry away from louis.
the boys get shoved out of the room by jay.
she says that maybe it’s time they go home and get some rest.
(but how in the world could they do that? they sit. they sit and they wait.)
----
they are still sitting when the screaming starts.
they hear louis screaming and crying and pleading for his head to stop banging
and for the dark room to come back because mum I swear it was so nice there, I just want to go
back please please send me back
(and harry wonders where that dark room is and if he is invited in too)
----
when the boys are finally let back in, it’s almost 3 hours after they heard louis screaming.
they shuffle in one by one, like children coming back in from recess hoping that they can catch
the last few seconds of sun.
and when they see louis it’s like ice has descended on them and they are frozen and stuck and
scared.
because yes, louis is awake.
but he isn’t alive. his eyes are open and unseeing and he looks straight through all of them.
(he doesn’t acknowledge the things they had gotten him, and he doesn’t even start when harry sits down and starts counting his fingers, just like before)
----
the doctors say louis in this catatonic state.
when the brain gets stressed out after a serious trauma,
it affects different people in different ways.
louis’ way of coping is.
well, it’s not coping at all, is it?
(he stares blankly at the same pale green colored tile across from him and doesn’t move, not even when his sisters beg him to.)
----
and so days pass.
and niall is trying really hard not to just slap louis across the face because jesus christ he
can’t deal with this.
and zayn just really wants to smoke in lou’s room because then maybe he could spend more
time inside than he does out.
and liam.
liam is frantically trying to not let all this get to him,
because without lou he has to be the strong one
and none of this was ever supposed to happen.
(and then there’s harry, he just sits and count’s louis’ fingers and he is almost as gone as louis.)
----
and then all of the sudden everythings changed.
because louis not staring off into space anymore.
instead he is sleeping. and when he is not sleeping he is screaming.
and no one really knows why but.
the doctors keep saying the same thing
all traumas are different. you just have to be patient.
(and harry can’t help but think that it shouldn’t of taken louis almost dying for harry to come home to him.)
----
“we have to do something.”
“I know.”
“I can’t take this screaming anymore li.”
“I know.”
“what can we do?”
“we can sing.”
(it’s the only thing that makes sense, no matter how cliche they all think it is.)
----
they sing.
(they end up singing Such Great Heights, with niall in the corner on his guitar and zayn and liam on
one side of louis and harry on the other, counting his fingers and stroking lou’s cheek)
----
and it’s not like they expect him to just snap out of it.
music is not magical, no matter how many people think it is.
(they hope that it at least helps louis’ know it’s ok to come back, when he’s ready)
----
and then finally.
he does.
(his eyes focus, right as the sun peeks in through the window and harry nearly has a heart attack)
----
and when all the boys are gathered around his bed
he whispers,
“ And I have to speculate that god himself
did make us into corresponding shapes like
puzzle pieces from the clay”
(and yeah, everything is going to be ok)
----
fin.