Chapter Text
It was rare to have moments like this.
Moments that felt like that summer in ‘85, before everything was turned upside down for good and there was too much they couldn’t come back from. If he thought about it hard enough, Will would have to guess it was one of the better seasons of his life, though there currently weren’t many to compare. Those moments were hidden inside those first few sweltering weeks, before Dustin went to camp, when the Starcourt was so fresh they hadn’t considered sneaking inside its halls, before Will became a permanent third wheel for a month.
It was rare to have moments that made Will feel like he was a child, meeting Lucas and Dustin and Mike all over again. When it was just him and the party - the whole party, mage and zoomer included. Before that second gate opened. Before everything went to hell.
Now, back in Hawkins, it was easy to be reminded they weren’t fourteen anymore. Will couldn’t remember the last time they did something together that wasn’t ‘Vecna’ related. He found it even harder to remember a time when they acted like normal friends since Will moved back to Hawkins.
Lucas spent every possible moment by Max’s bedside, not that Will blamed him for that, of course. Just that it was hard to not worry about him. The worry had darkened his eyes, the stress making him appear so young. When Will had moved back to Hawkins, he struggled to talk to Lucas for those first few months. What else was there to talk about? Everything felt so small and irrelevant that Will felt the only thing he could give Lucas was his company. Will knew he was grateful for it.
It almost felt like Will had spent enough time in the hospital himself, talking to Max about El’s training or reading to her when Lucas’ eyes were too strained. She’d always liked when he’d done voices. She’d always been a good friend.
When Will was by her bedside, it was easier to understand why Lucas blamed himself. They all did.
It was becoming more than obvious that Dustin was starting to pull away. From them, from Steve, from everything. Again, Will knew why. He just didn’t understand why he wouldn’t talk to them, or why he wouldn’t at least talk to Will. Dustin had always been eager to tell Will everything once, about girls or games or even gossip he heard in the school halls. Weird facts he’d read about, correcting his grammar, teasing him about any little thing. They were closer once. Dustin only wanted to talk about ‘the plan’ now, about Eddie.
Again, Will couldn’t blame him.
His short-lived time in Lenora Hills had been far from perfect, but it had brought him one thing. Eleven. A friend and a sister.
Despite everything, despite the time she’d been with them in Hawkins, it took moving over two thousand miles away to bring them together. They were surprisingly more similar than he ever thought. They’d spent nights talking well into the night, sharing every embarrassing story he had on Mike and even some of El’s own. Will had taught her to read something bigger than a magazine, and he’d shown her his favourite movies, his favourite songs, his favourite everythings. He’d made her mix tapes for the walkman Jonathan bought her for Christmas, he’d cried in her arms when she apologised for not saving him sooner. Those six months had been a blessing Will didn’t know he needed.
Since moving back, her priorities were understandably elsewhere. Like the rest of their friends, she blamed herself. For Vecna, for Max, sometimes for everything. El spent almost every waking moment training for a fight that felt like it would never come, and when she wasn’t training, she was hidden away in the Hawkins woods, living off grid with Hopper. Will was without a sister once again.
And then there was Mike.
Where did he even begin? Will didn’t know what to think about Mike anymore, not after California and especially not after the last several months. Mike was an enigma he just couldn’t understand now, no matter how hard he tried. Since that fight last summer, they were just… forever out of sync. It hadn’t mattered that Mike apologised, or that they were all back together. Conversations turned into confusion, and confusion turned into misunderstanding each other at every little turn, both of them so focussed on their mission that the void yawning between them was growing ever wider, ever more distant. Sometimes it made Will feel like he would fall apart at the seams. All the little stitches keeping him together were slowly being pulled taut, pulling him in one too many directions, all asking too much of him. He didn’t know how he was still holding it together.
But moments like this, it all felt normal. Will could feel whole. He felt like he was ten again, laughing with his friends in Mike’s basement, reading comics and playing D&D and learning how to work their talkies for the first time. Except now, everything was just a little bit more…real.
“So Suzie was your first?”
Lucas flicked a pencil back and forth, quickly drumming it against the palm of his hand. His eyes glinted playfully as a sly smile crept onto his face, a look that made Will’s own lips instantly turn upward. It was a nice change to see him smile. It was a rare thing, which made it all the more infectious.
Dustin huffed out a sigh, head shaking dramatically as he continued to unscrew his walkie-talkie. He didn’t look up to give Lucas the satisfaction of attention. “First what?”
“First kiss, duh.” Lucas scoffed. The two of them sat at the small table in the Wheeler’s basement, tools and papers scattered across the laminate. The map Lucas had been lining sat abandoned, this line of thought clearly much more entertaining to him. He had a knee propped up on his chair, arm leaning against it as he stared Dustin down. Will wasn’t even sure where this conversation had come from. Maybe that’s what made this moment feel like they were kids again, when they would talk about anything and everything with little rhyme or reason.
Dustin suddenly had a look of indignation cross his face, brows pressed so far together they were basically touching. His mouth was twisted up into a scowl, a look Will was becoming accustomed to seeing. “What makes you think she was my first?”
It was Will’s turn to finally pipe up. “Because she was your first girlfriend…?” he laughed. “I thought that one was obvious.”
Will was sitting on the basement sofa, sketchbook propped up on his knees and back against the armrest. He’d been drawing for a better part of an hour now with little success. Trying to draw the Upside-Down from memory was easier said than done, especially where the MAC-Z was stationed. Since they’d need every detail for the next crawl, it was crucial he tried to remember what he could of the town's centre, except it was becoming so boring... He didn’t know when he’d begun drawing Dustin, but it was nice that he was sitting so perfectly still for him. Well, was.
Dustin’s mouth twisted again, hands paused mid-screw like this conversation was taking all of his brain power. He looked up to glare at Lucas; he didn’t talk about Suzie much anymore, if at all. Will was sure they’d broken up, since Suzie had practically confirmed it in Utah. “First girlfriend doesn’t have to mean first kiss.”
Lucas shot Will a smug smile, causing him to stifle a laugh. It was a classic Sinclair look that said, ‘I’ve got him’. “Uh, in case you forgot you weren’t exactly Romeo in this town, Dusty Buns. Record wise, I don’t remember anyone else being a contender.”
Dustin picked up a roll of tape and threw it at Lucas, who took the blow with a dramatic sound of pain and two hands to his chest. The tape clattered noisily to the basement floor, rolling off under the staircase.
Mike’s basement had expanded beyond a hangout and was now functionally the party's basecamp. It also doubled as Will and Jonathan’s makeshift bedroom. Nancy had attempted to have Jonathan stay in her room, however Karen had insisted the brothers share the space together.
Since travelling back and then being effectively quarantined in Hawkins, it had left the Byler’s little options for residency. Their home had been sold and filled by some other family after they’d moved, and their home in Lenora Hill’s had been raided and pumped full of bullet holes. It was weird how every home Will had lived in seemed to garner some kind of reputation. He was sure that house was now part of some crazy local legacy, spurned on by Angela and the rest of the teenage populous at Lenora Hills High; The home of Crazy Jane Hopper, Serial Skate Assaulter and her Freak Family. They hadn’t even been able to go back and get any of their belongings, either. Will’s best guess was that everything had been shoved into some government storage unit, gathering dust under wasted protection while they continued their fruitless search for El.
The Wheeler’s had been kind enough to let them stay with them until they got on their feet. Will wasn’t quite sure how long that would be, considering they were no closer to killing Vecna and closing the mega-gate. They weren’t closer to anything really, this temporary stay felt more like a big metaphorical bandaid over what they’d all done, like they were all playing pretend in the space between their pain. It did nothing but remind Will how he felt about it all, over how out of place it all was.
It wasn’t all bad, living with the Wheeler’s. It was nostalgic, in its own weird way. His mom slept in the one spare bedroom, and Jonathan and Will slept downstairs in the basement. It reminded Will of evenings running night-long campaigns, or of building pillow forts with Mike until they both fell asleep and then had to have a sleepover. It made him think of all the nights before the Upside-Down, the space they’d shared, telling secrets and reading together. Except now, Mike could barely have a conversation with him unless it was related to the mission.
Mike.
Mike’s shoulders shook lightly in laughter. He was clearly enjoying listening to Lucas antagonise Dustin. He sat at the desk by the basement stairs, his angular frame hunched over a street directory. He’d spent the better part of the week with his head inside that book, diligently adding notes to flesh out their own crawl directory to mirror Nancy’s, albeit half the size. The detail he was taking was impressive, really. He’d become so dedicated to their cause that he was almost a completely different person than he was last year. No more hesitancy or doubt. Mike was shaping up to be the leader Will always knew he was.
From his angle on the sofa, Will couldn’t really see his face, just the outline of his blue sweater past the stairs and landline. His black hair was cut messily at the brow, falling over his face and making it harder to read. Mike was hard to read in general now. That probably went hand in hand with changing so much, but Will didn’t like to linger on that thought. He didn’t like thinking that they were so different now, too different to understand each other. At least, he thought he understood Mike and what he wanted. He thought Mike wanted them to be a team again, ‘best friends ’.
Maybe they were and maybe that’s what this was. They were definitely a team again, every second of their time was spent working together to structure out the most detailed action plan known to modern man. Will was living inside his house for crying out loud, it wasn’t like they were strangers. But that was it. Between missions and crawls and stakeouts and whatever else they did with their time, that was the extent of it. They worked well together, that much was true. Beyond that, Mike struggled with the best friend part. It’s like he hardly knew him. Again. He felt closer to him when he was in California, for Christ's sake…
Will looked back down at his drawing. It was pointless to linger on the thought. It had been seven months since Lenora, almost a year since they’d moved away. This was the best it was going to get.
“So… was she?” Lucas wiggled his eyebrows at Dustin, who now sat back against his chair, walkie abandoned in favour of boring holes into Lucas’ skull with glare.
“Was Max yours?”
Lucas’ grin was so wide it showed all of his teeth. “Proudly.”
“Ugh…”
“Don’t groan at me Henderson, answer the question.” Lucas wasted no time with Dustin’s distraction. “Was Suzie your first kiss or not?”
Dustin considered for a moment, and scrubbed his teeth with his tongue. It made his top lip stick out as he thought it over, before finally bringing a hand up to scrub at his mouth. “Not.”
“What do you mean not?”
Dustin dropped his hand from his face to the table, screws and tools clattering loudly around. “Oh my god, you asked and I answered.”
Will could see Mike turn around to smile at the two of them bickering. This was probably as nostalgic to him as it was to Will. It was all too familiar, watching these two argue over nothing at that table, either over necrotic damage or who could best WOPR at its own game, the correct answer being none of them.
Lucas stood up to lean his arms on the table and hover over Dustin. Will could feel himself smiling again, sketchbook sliding to his side as he pressed himself forward to get a better view of them. “Who? You have to tell me now!”
Dustin looked up, mouth set into a flat line before it began to quirk up slightly in the corner. It was normally a sign he was about to antagonise his friends. “Jennifer Hayes.”
Lucas stood up, back stiff and pencil straight.
“No. Way.”
“Yes way, Sinclair.” Dustin was leaning back in his chair, a grin now evident as he folded his arms against his chest.
Mike had thrown his own arm over the back of his chair to get a better look at them. It was no surprise that this would stir Lucas up, but it was also a surprise that Dustin had apparently kept this hidden for god knows how long. Will couldn’t help but laugh that this kind of thing still caught Mike’s attention.
Between Lucas and Dustin, Mike’s eyes met Will’s. Just for a moment, long enough that Will found himself blinking back before realising seconds later they were staring at each other in Lucas’ disbelief. Mike let that smooth, lopsided smile slide onto his face, the kind of smile he used to send Will when they shared an inside joke between just them. He could feel his breath stutter out, eyes blinking in embarrassment before Mike turned back to the table.
“Ho…how?” Lucas sank down to look at Dustin at eye level, the sincerity on his face palpable from the couch. “When? Why?”
Dustin looked offended again, like Lucas was insinuating that there had to be some scientific reasoning as to why a girl would kiss him. He reached out and pushed Lucas’ ever-approaching face away with the palm of his hand. “It was a dare, but a kiss is a kiss. So, it counts.”
Lucas scoffed, taking a stumbling step back before standing up straight again. Mike turned back to the street directory, head shaking fondly as he hunched under his lamplight. This kind of conversation could be talked in circles for the rest of the night if the two of them were left uninterrupted. “And? When was this?”
“Summer… three years ago?” Dustin seemed indifferent by this line of questioning. Like Lucas was asking him for the time, not about his secret first kiss.
“What, ‘84?”
Will could see the gears turning in his head, watched as Lucas brought up a hand and began counting with his fingers. He stopped midcount before his jaw fell open. “Oh my god, you kissed her after she’d cried at Will’s funeral?”
He suddenly felt three sets of eyes fall on him. It would have been stifling if he wasn’t enjoying the banter. It was Will’s turn to be mock affronted, and he swung his legs off the couch to look at Dustin in accusation. “Before she danced with me at the Snow Ball?”
Dustin at least let a look of brief shame cross his brow. He threw a hand in the air, accusation high in voice. “When you put it like that it makes me sound like an asshole.”
Lucas drifted away from the table towards Will, sliding in beside him on the couch. “Dude, the code…”
“There was no code! Not here!”
“Yes, there is! She liked Will! She wanted to kiss and dance with Will and you took that away from her!”
“They did dance together, or were you too busy sucking Max’s face to notice?”
“Uh, that’s all they did, thanks to you. For all we know, if you hadn’t jumped the queue Will would be dating her right no-”
“Are you not going to ask me?”
The silence that fell across the room was a little too thick for Will’s liking. He could feel Dustin peer at him and Lucas before the three of them peaked over the table to look at the owner of the voice.
Mike’s arm was thrown over the back of his chair as he stared at the three of them. He was biting the inside of his left cheek, a habit he only did when something was getting on his nerves. Suddenly, the silence that stretched between them felt unavoidable. It made the gap between Mike and the party feel even more evident as he sat by the staircase. Had they left him out? Clearly they had, because now he was refusing to even meet Will’s eyes.
Another agonising moment ticked by before Mike threw a hand up impatiently, ushering someone to say something.
Lucas looked at Will and Dustin, obviously annoyed and unimpressed. It was funny how quickly his friends could drop whatever argument they were having if it meant they could bag on Mike instead. Lucas leaned to his side to get a better view of Mike in his chair, pressing himself into Will.
“What, ask you a question with the most obvious answer in the world?”
Mike had the audacity to look genuinely affronted, hand falling back down onto the chair. “Could still ask. Might be surprised.”
“Will we be, Michael?” Dustin let out a loud sigh, now turning to match Mike in posture and position. It was easy to mirror his pose when Mike was this easy to stir.
It was obvious Mike was trying to be as dismissive as possible, except his face always gave him away. He was a terrible liar, after all. He might be hard to read, but when he lied he was like a picture book. All emotion and colours. Will huffed out a small laugh.
“Eleven is the only girl who is and has ever been interested in you,” Lucas continued. He took the moment to throw an arm around Will, nonchalant and composed like he was above the conversation suddenly. “That’s an immovable fact or whatever.”
Mike’s eyes finally flicked to Will, before settling back on Lucas. Will could see the pencil in Mike’s hand, could see it tapping wildly against his thigh. Was he mad, or annoyed? Did he feel ignored? Or was he just trying to end this as quickly as possible so he could keep working? It was like he was all three all at once. Why was he so hard to read?
“Are you going to ask me, or aren’t you?”
That mischievous smile began to press into the corners of Dustin’s mouth again. “You just sound jealous.”
This time, Mike was a little easier to read. The pencil stopped between long fingers and Mike stared back at Dustin, cheek released and mouth slightly open. His brows were now knotted together, annoyance written across his face. Brown eyes flicked to Will once more, and this time Will couldn’t help the look of confusion that seeped out onto his own face. These little moments were what made it all the more confusing, like they were sharing secrets that neither Will nor Mike knew the meaning behind. If Mike did, Will definitely didn’t. He could feel his own face move, his bottom lip scrunching up like it was saying, ‘dude, say something.’
Mike closed his mouth and turned back to the desk. “Forget it.”
Lucas let his head fall back against the back of the sofa, arm lightly shaking Will in frustration at Mike’s attempt to abort the conversation. “Fine, Mike. Was Eleven your first kiss.”
“I said forget it.” Mike didn’t bother to look up. Suddenly, Will couldn’t see him, Mike’s face obscured by the landline beam as he buried his face in the desk. “I’m busy anyway.”
Dustin folded his arms again and looked back at Lucas and Will. “Sure. Busy.”
It was awkward now. They all knew it, that temporary feeling of normalcy shattered by another one of Mike’s indecipherable moods. They were normally reserved just for Will, so it was almost a nice change to have someone else be the recipient. Lucas slid his arm from Will’s shoulder and wrapped it around his arm to pull him close. Turning to him, Will watched as Lucas stuck out his bottom lip like he was sulking, before he rolled his eyes and smiled at him. Will could feel him squeeze his arm, pressing him tightly against his side. Despite everything, Lucas still had his teasing sense of humor. He couldn’t resist smiling back, nudging him with his own shoulder.
“Well… you know who hasn’t given his first kiss?”
Ugh.
That pressing arm felt more like he was being held hostage; Will could feel his eyes squeeze shut and his back pulled impossibly tight, before his eyes began to roll and his mouth form a pressing frown. He hated how easy it was for everyone else to read him, because Lucas was smiling at him like he’d won a million dollars. Like he hadn’t just started Will’s most hated line of questioning. Will knew that the look across his face was definitely one of dread and irritation, as Lucas turned back to Dustin with wiggling eyebrows.
“Will!”
His hand had a mind of his own as it pushed Lucas off, the force behind the shove arguably harder than it needed to be. It was hard enough that the leverage Lucas had on Will’s shoulder meant he was shoved back with him. “Dude, you’re being stupid.”
A laugh burst out of Lucas’ mouth, another infectious thing that made Will smile whether he wanted to or not.
“C’mon man, we know you have game! Surely there was someone in Cali that you wanted to-” Lucas brought up another arm to wrap around Will’s shoulders and tugged him in, eyes closed and mouth puckered into a comical fake kiss.
The sound of him pursing his lips echoed out into the basement, and now Will couldn’t hold back the laughter that bubbled out of him. He could feel his face warming, cheeks blossoming into red hot heat that was surely inching ever closer across his throat and the back of his neck. His laughter was enough to make Lucas poke hard fingers into his sides, more laughter tumbling out of his mouth and across the carpet. “Pff - and how do you know I haven’t?”
It was like Will had shot him. Lucas’ hands froze in place, eyes wide as he pulled back impossibly fast to look Will in the eyes before flicking his gaze over to Dustin. He was equally as shocked, except the smile that bloomed from cheek to cheek made it clear this was more than entertaining to him. Will didn’t know why he’d said it. Maybe it was this moment making him dizzy with laughter that made him feel like playing along.
Except Will wasn’t like his friends; It was a throwaway line that would have been ignored years earlier, but it meant something a little different now.
He’d never shown interest in girls, or dating, or anything as trivial as kissing. At least, that was what they knew about him. Will suddenly felt himself looking anywhere except Mike. He could feel that creeping anxiety prickle against his skin, like he was revealing too much just by existing. Yet, Will felt his eyes drift to the staircase on their own.
From the sofa, Will couldn’t see Mike’s reaction. His shoulders were still, no sign of laughter like earlier. His face was obscured by the angle and Dustin’s own body that was now drifting closer to the sofa and into his line of sight. After Mike’s attitude before, Will wasn’t sure he really wanted to know what he was thinking. He was likely in that same foul mood.
Lucas nudged him, right arm still wrapped around his shoulder and Will blinked back into the moment. “Woooah, what? Do my ears deceive me?”
“What, Will!” Dustin was standing in front of him now, legs almost bracketing his own as Will sat on the sofa. “When?”
“And who?”
“And how, and… everything!”
“You sly dog…” Lucas was shaking his head, arms finally letting Will go to fold against his chest. “You kept that secret nice and hidden, didn’t you, Byers?”
The laugh that was pulled out of him was long and heavy, and he could feel himself being pressed into the sofa by the weight of his friends' stares. “No, wait! I was just jo-”
Dustin interrupted him, voice a little squeaky in excitement. “It was so in Lenora, wasn’t it.”
“No-”
“Did you date?” Lucas pushed.
Will smiled, “No comment.”
“Are you still dating?”
“Dustin, now you’re just being stu-”
“Will has a girlfriend!”
“Can you guys shut up.”
Mike’s voice was loud enough to make Will’s mouth snap shut with an audible click. His words had been so loud that they felt like they were still hanging in the air between them, Mike’s tone holding Will frozen in place. Lucas and Dustin shared a look before they both turned to stare at Mike, body still facing away from the couch. His shoulders were still downturned, face impossible to see but Will could tell he wasn’t looking their way. His nose must have been almost touching the table, because his shoulders were so hunched over there was no way his face wasn’t actually buried inside that directory.
“I’m trying to work over here.”
A scoff fell from Dustin’s mouth, gaze glancing back at Will before he walked back over to his abandoned chair. “Boo…”
The apology tumbled out of Will’s mouth, too habitual for his liking. He could feel himself gazing at the floor, but he wasn’t really looking. “Sorry…”
Lucas sounded less apologetic, his own voice sharp and clipped. His back was pressed impossibly hard into the sofa, his face an unreadable mask. “Yeah. Sorry.”
The sound of a book slamming meant Mike could hear the tone himself, and only a second later could Will hear the familiar sound of wood on concrete as Mike pushed himself away from the desk and stood. His movements looked awkwardly rushed, gaze pointedly cast down at the desk. “If you guys are going to just fuck around, I’m going to finish this map in my room.”
It was Lucas’ turn to scoff, that unreadable expression dropping in favour of a look of pure exasperation. “Mike, dude.”
Lucas pushed himself off the sofa and watched as Mike made as much noise as possible as he packed up the directory and whatever stationary he was using to line the pages. He was pointedly ignoring Lucas’ attempt to smooth him over. Will watched as Lucas looked at Dustin, the plea for help written all over his face. It was often a two man job to bring Mike down from one of these moods; Will once concluded it was because Mike struggled to be angry at more than one person at a time.
Lucas should have known better than to ask Dustin for help, at least right now. His soothing tactics were a little too unpredictable lately, especially after everything that happened in March. Dustin took a more… antagonistic approach. Will braced himself for the dig he was surely about to throw Mike’s way, and it was already quickly off his tongue. “Is this just ‘cause Will’s getting more action than y-”
Mike didn’t let him finish before he pushed his chair in so hard it made the desk rattle. Dustin’s words immediately died in his throat. “Just go home if you’re just going to take up my time. Take up our time.”
Dustin let an indignant sound tumble out as he stared at Mike, some kind of stifled noise while a retort brewed in his throat. Mike didn’t bother to wait for Dustin to finish thinking before he began shaking his head and started to walk out to the basement landing. The directory and a pencil case were pressed tightly under his arm, and now Will could finally get a good look at his face. Maybe it was the temperature since it was the start of fall and the radiator was already pumping warmth steadily into the basement, but Will could see heat creeping up Mike’s neck, finishing at his burning ears. He was biting his cheek again, except his mouth was pulled down into something closer to a grimace, and his eyes were set on Lucas once more. Mike looked like he was trying to set him on fire with his mind. With that look, Will would be surprised if he didn’t. He stopped at the base of the stairs, shoulders set back from their usual slouched posture.
“We can’t afford to be unprepared if a crawl comes up. We can’t afford to slack off.”
And then Mike looked at Will, like he expected him to say something next. What he wanted him to say, he had absolutely no clue, but Mike stared at him all the same. His brows were creased, resentment and something closer to pleading written inside his eyes. It reminded Will of a look Mike used to give him when they were kids, the look he gave when he wanted Will to take his side and ignore the rationale.
Mike’s gaze looked into his own, unblinking and strangely intrusive. It was Mike’s turn to say something with just a look, his shoulders dropping just a millimetre and face saying one thing:
‘Well?’
Will could feel himself frowning. What did he expect Will to do? Tell them fun was dead and that Mike was right? That this was a waste of time and they were acting like idiots? If anything, this was becoming ridiculous…
“We’re not slacking off…” Will murmured, and he could hear his words echo out into the basement. They fell down at Mike’s feet, his face now impossibly blank. Clearly he was hoping for a different response.
Mike’s words were muttered under a strained breath, trailing behind him as he turned and climbed the stairs. “I’ll talk to you all tomorrow.”
The three of them listened to the sound of Mike’s feet against the steps before it was punctuated with the basement door slamming shut.
Lucas turned around to stare at Will, his face slack with an incredulous look. “What’s his issue?”
Dustin turned back to look at the table, his own attitude shifting back to what was becoming his new norm. “Hell if I know…”
Lucas stared at Dustin for a moment, seemingly considering something before he turned back around to look down at Will. He pushed a foot forward, sneaker lightly tapping on Will’s shin as he shuffled in place. “Sorry, dude. We didn’t mean to push you like that.”
It took Will a moment to realise Lucas had even apologised. What did he have to be sorry for? He looked past him at Dustin, who also had a sheepish look on his face, except he was busying himself with his walkie again like he was indifferent.
Will shrugged, reaching beside himself to grab his sketchbook. “It’s fine. I thought it was funny.”
“Well someone didn’t.”
He couldn’t help but huff a laugh at that. “He’s just high strung. You know what it’s like.”
Lucas frowned, before he wandered over to the table. “Yeah, but I don’t act like a dick to my friends when I am.”
“Oh really?” Dustin grabbed his backpack with one eyebrow raised.
“Shut it Henderson. You’re one to talk.”
“Am I, now?”
The two of them could argue forever. Will could sense the hostility creeping into their voices, meaning that jovial attitude was dissipating quickly. Mike’s absence was painfully obvious now, and Will could see the empty desk sitting between his view of Lucas and Dustin. Mike had left the lamp on, a yellow circle of light burning into the wood below. Will finally stood and began to shuffle past Lucas to the desk, thoroughly cleared of everything except a handful of pencil shavings. Again, they were back to the new normal and those little moments of whatever Will wished for were gone. He wasn’t sure when another one would show itself, hope too fleeting, camaraderie too rare. He rested an arm against the table and sighed.
Fuck.
“Hey,” Will started, and he could hear Lucas stop mid-retort. He was aware he was speaking a little too loudly for the distance between them. “It’s late. I think I might start settling down for the night. Jonathan will probably be home soon, too.”
Lucas’ face lit up momentarily before he nodded and leant down to pick up his abandoned map. “Shit. I don’t know why I always forget this is like, your bedroom now.”
Will let himself laugh once, maybe a little harshly before he shrugged casually at his friends. “I don’t expect you to remember. I mean, not exactly my house, is it.”
Lucas hummed, eyes flicking to Dustin whose lips quirked slightly, a little too briefly to be considered a smile. It was hard to not feel like Will had ruined this - this weird stalemate where they were all best friends again and there was no big, looming problem in the corner that pushed them apart. The gates, the crawls, the town. Vecna. There was always something now that stopped them from laughing, always something that forced each meeting to have a purpose, a mission. He knew it wasn’t his fault.
Sometimes, it just felt like it was.
“I’ll see you guys at the Squawk?”
Lucas stuck the now rolled up map into his backpack and slung it over his shoulder. He took a few steps closer to drop a hand on Will’s shoulder, giving him a short squeeze and a small smile. “Yeah, see you tomorrow.”
Dustin was already making his way to the stairs, two fingers up in a mock salute. He was already back to his new self. “Later, Byers.”
Will watched his friends leave, the basement plunged into pressurised silence that made his head hurt. He turned the lamp off and sighed. He watched the light fade out, yellow light burning against the wood and leaving big green splotches in his vision.
Will squeezed his eyes shut and sighed once more. This time, blaming himself felt a little justified.
Jonathan was back within the hour and then immediately gone again, ushered out by Nancy to drive over to the Squawk. They were likely helping Robin plan a future broadcast, or decking out the basement. Nancy had become a ‘manager’ of sorts to the station, if you could call her that. If anything, she was almost like a military officer with how she ran the place. Not that the station needed a manager anyway, but ordering equipment and bossing Steve and Robin around kept her busy between crawls. It let her feel like she was in control of something. Will envied her.
School had been back for a fortnight, the months from March until now had stretched so long that it felt like forever and a day since Will had last been in class. Sure, he’d finished up the semester in California, but school had been suspended in Hawkins since the ‘earthquake’, set to resume in September with the facade of a clean slate. He wasn’t even sure how this would affect his graduation, if Hawkins High would even care. That was if he even made it to graduation. If any of them did, honestly.
It felt pointless, going back to school and taking exams and tests like there wasn’t an interdimensional gate to a dark realm in their public library. Except that’s exactly why they had to keep up appearances. It was the most important thing they could do; go to school, go to work, pretend they were normal, and that El wasn’t out there training her ass off everyday to kill a potentially cosmic being. It’s just that when comparing that to reading The Crucible, it all felt a little redundant.
With Mike’s sudden departure, Will had quickly abandoned all efforts of crawl planning. It wasn’t like he was assisting much anyway, he’d drawn more of Dustin than the Upside-Down. Mike would likely flip if he knew. Instead of making up for lost sketching time, Will sat at the Wheeler’s dining table with Holly, dinner already finished and cleaned as he worked through her mathematics homework. It was a familiar scene, one they’d run through countless nights already. He used to help her all the time when they were younger. It was nice, it made it all feel so… normal. Holly’s hair was pulled back into a blue scrunchie, yellow pencil wedged between her teeth as she chewed it loud enough for the wood to crackle. It would have been a little endearing if it wasn’t offputtingly familiar. Will looked at the empty seat in front of Holly.
Mike’s plate sat across from them, untouched.
This was ridiculous.
Mike had left the basement hours ago and gone straight to his bedroom, only leaving once to take a shower. Will only knew this because he could hear the water running while they ate dinner. And now, after what felt like hours later? Mike was hidden in his room, door closed and meal sitting cold on the table as Will worked with his sister on her homework. While Mike stewed in his bad attitude, with whatever had crawled up in him and died. The longer the night dragged on, the bigger it grew in Will’s mind. Most things did lately, but how could they not? With everything going on, it was easy to imagine the worst situation each time, except Will was starting to have less and less patience for it.
Especially when it was concerning Mike.
It was easy for Will to try and cut him some slack. It’s just that he felt like he’d been cutting Mike slack since they were fourteen and he’d forgotten his life didn’t revolve around makeouts and lying. This time, however, their issues were a little more lethal and more empathetic.
Moods like this were becoming more frequent, an attitude Mike hadn’t indulged in since he was twelve. One moment he was warm and inviting, would speak to Will so softly and gently. The next, he was back to that hasty, defensive front he used to hold at any given point. It made Will feel incredibly stupid, like he was misunderstanding Mike in some fundamental way that caused this rift between them to crack startlingly wider.
They had the team part down, but the ‘best friend’ part just kept proving to be impossible to reach.
Once, Mike would have told Will everything he was thinking. Only Will, his trusted confidant and cleric. They’d kept little secrets between themselves, written on scraps of paper and tapped out in morse code, between margins and behind cupped hands. Mike had no filter when it came to talking to Will. He used to be honest to a fault, sometimes painfully so but that was thanks to Michael’s obliviousness.
At the moment, it felt like Mike did everything but talk to Will. It wasn’t hard to see the gaps in their friendship, especially while they lived together and Will felt like he was constantly missing out on crucial information. It was exhausting. Keeping up the lie was exhausting.
Once, Will couldn’t lie to Mike to save his life, no matter how small and insignificant. Now, Will felt like all he did was lie. About his feelings, about that pit growing inside him, about how bad everything had really become.
He stared at the plate on the table, sauce so cold it had congealed.
“Will, sweetheart, are you still hungry?”
Karen’s hand pressed against his back, warm and comforting. He could feel himself blinking back to the present,head tilting to look up at her. She smiled patiently at him, except he could see the circles underneath her eyes that suggested she wanted to turn in for the evening. She gestured to the cold plate in question.
“No, no. I’m fine, Mrs Wheeler. Thank you.” Will felt himself force a smile.
Karen nodded before letting out a soft sigh, and Will couldn’t help but close his eyes. He was already dreading the question he knew was coming before it even left her lips. They’d already done this once or twice before, always when Mike was in one of these moods, always when Will had upset him in some unknowable way. Will had yet to get out of it.
“Would you please go and tell Mike that if he’s not down in ten, I’m putting his dinner in the trash?” she sighed, releasing her touch before walking to the sink, patting Holly on the head as she passed. It was comforting to know she treated him like she did Holly, with gentle touches to affirm he was welcome.
“He said he wasn’t hungry.” Holly grumbled, before she started chewing on her pencil again. God, she was so Mike’s sister. Will could feel Mrs Wheeler’s eyes twitching. He didn’t know how she put up with them all, Wheeler’s and Byers’ alike. Her patience was akin to that of a saint.
“Then,” she said tersely, “can you please go bring him the plate? I know he didn’t eat lunch today either. That boy needs to eat something today.”
That terse, thin smile pressed against his lips again. “Yeah, of course Mrs Wheeler.”
Relief flooded her features. “Thank you, Will. You’re a gentleman.”
The climb to Mike’s room felt like it took twice as long, Will’s socks making a strange amount of noise on each and every carpeted step. He hated how tense it made him feel. Each step felt like he was giving himself away for the inevitable knock he would make on Mike’s door, a signal for the interaction Mike was dreading as much as Will did. It was easy to feel this vulnerable considering Will was in his pyjamas, white henley pressed tight against his throat and grey sweats making him feel somewhat sheepish as he walked the hallway. This vulnerability did nothing for his anxiety.
Had Mike been mad at him? Or was he just mad at Dustin and Lucas? It was impossible to not feel like he was angry with Will, given the look he’d cast at him before storming out of the basement. Except Mike had smiled at him like they were sharing a secret, those little ones they hadn’t shared in so long and Will’s stomach had turned inside out and now here he was bringing him dinner in the house they were both living in and-
God, it made him feel so stupid. He hated feeling this stupid.
He finally reached Mike’s room, and Will could hear vague movement inside the closed door. Something was better than nothing, it sounded like Mike was cutting something with a pair of scissors or riffling papers, clearly still working on the street directory despite the time of night. Will glanced down at his watch.
20:47
He knocked twice on the door. Will waited a moment in silence, waiting for a hum or a cough or a mumble of something to signal he could come inside. The silence stretched on long enough that he felt foolish standing there, plate in hand as he stood in the dark, like Mike was punishing him by making him wait. He knocked again, two raps that he knew were impossible to ignore.
Silence.
Ridiculous.
Will pushed the door open one-handed, tin-foil covered plate in the other. Mike’s room had changed so much in the last few years, the bunk bed replaced with a twin sized frame in the centre of the room. The blue walls were softly lit by two lamps, one by his bed and the other by his desk, which was situated beside the door. Opening the door, Will was immediately faced with Mike’s left side, shoulders hunched as he cut up paper into long lengths. The lamp sat to his right, lighting up his frame as he sat with his back turned to the door. It was clearly an awkward angle, chair turned to the side so Mike could rest his left arm against the desk to avoid looking at the doorway. He didn’t raise his head when the door opened but Will knew Mike was aware. Mike’s head lowered even further, like he was trying to hide himself despite being directly in front of Will.
Asshole.
Will gave him five seconds to say anything before he spoke. They stretched agonisingly slowly.
“You going to eat dinner?”
Silence was punctuated by the snip of scissors. Mike continued to look down, refusing to acknowledge the question and instead gave a quiet, “Not hungry.”
Will could feel his jaw clenching. Clearly, Mike was mad at him. He couldn’t even look at him now, and as each excruciating second ticked by, Will felt stupider and stupider. He stared at Mike without blinking for several moments, waiting for something, anything more before he walked inside. “Cool, cool.”
Will wandered to the drawers beside the door, turning only to place the plate on it and get the hell out of there. “I’ll just. Leave this here, in case you do get hungry or something.”
“I’m not hungry, Will.” Mike’s voice was clipped and quick off the tongue.
Will’s jaw clenched again, eyes set on the dresser. “Okay, fine.”
“Fine.” Suddenly, Mike sounded like he was five all over again.
Will felt compelled into turning to stare at him, could feel the hurt seeping between ribs and making him ache. It was the type of ache that made his throat swell and sting, like the tears that needed spilling would hurt him if he didn’t. He couldn’t help but wrap his arms around his chest, swallowing thickly before turning to walk out of the room. Stupid. “Fine… Goodnight.”
“...I thought we were best friends.”
Will felt his head whip around at a terrifying speed to stare at Mike. A hand was already on the door frame, a foot already halfway into the hallway, but the words were enough to shock him back into the room. It was the very thing he’d been asking himself all night, all month, all year. He’d just not expected it to come from Mike. He turned to finally meet dark brown eyes. Mike’s brow set into a frustrated scowl, arms folded to his chest as he’d turned in his seat to stare at Will.
Will found himself frozen in place, unable to achieve anything more than a slow, confused blink, the question marinating in his head for a second too long. He could see Mike swallow, throat bobbing in the dim light as he waited for Will’s inevitable answer. “I…What?”
It was like Mike held himself back from rolling his eyes, because his lashes fluttered slightly in frustration. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Now Will was just… confused. He walked back into the room, hand holding the door handle as looked at Mike in uncertainty. "Tell you… what?”
Mike set his mouth into a hard line. “Tell me you had a girlfriend?”
A sharp jolt of fear shot through Will’s spine. It was a feeling he was all too familiar with now, something that came hand-in-hand with any and all questions about his love life. Will could feel his face heating impossibly fast, and suddenly his shirt felt too tight, too constricting. He stared back for only one second longer before he pressed himself against the door, hands behind his back. He let it click shut, eyes unmoving from Mike’s like he was scared looking elsewhere would give everything away. He hated the tight panic that clawed at his chest, mind racing at the thought of anyone else listening to this moment. His love life was beyond private - it was secretive and not spoken about.
Especially to Mike.
“I…don’t have a girlfriend.” The words came thickly, his tongue getting caught in every part of his mouth. It made him sound incredibly unbelievable. He needed a drink of water.
Mike’s voice was beyond frustrated, hands flailing out around him to exaggerate each word.
“Clearly you do! Or did!” he groaned, and dropped his hands to his knees. “I don’t know!”
“And what gave you that idea, genius?”
Will hated how defensive his words were, how easily the taunt fell out. It made it sound like he had something to hide, not the casual retort he thought it would be.
Mike scoffed, spinning in his chair to look back down at his desk to ignore Will’s gaze. Will could feel himself moving away from fear and inching closer to being pissed off.
“I mean, it was clearly obvious,” Mike continued, hands stilted as he pretended to be busy with papers. It was almost comical to watch.
“You were grinning like an idiot when Dustin said as much, and when Lucas brought it up you just couldn’t wait to talk about it-”
“Do you even hear yourself right now?” Will laughed, and Mike snapped his head back to look offended at the sound.
“Do you?” Mike spat the words, making little sense.
“You’re not even letting me talk!”
Will was aware he was yelling now, was aware he’s taken multiple steps closer to Mike so that he was standing beside him at the desk. So much for the closed door…
Mike let the shock of Will’s tone linger between them, frown deep and brow creased as he looked up at Will’s eyes. He opened his mouth, about to say something before quickly closing it with an audible snap. He began shaking his head. “Whatever.”
God, was Will over this.
He was over this attitude, these arguments that got them absolutely nowhere, these little jabbing remarks that were said just to get under Will’s skin in a way only Mike could. It was always Mike who got under his skin, always Mike who made him feel this frustrated and fucking crazy and-
Mike had turned his gaze to look around the room, pointedly avoiding Will’s own eyes. It was infuriating. He could only be provoked so much before he’d snap back. His body was suddenly not his to control, a hand reaching down to push against Mike’s shoulder and shove him back to reality. Mike looked back up and met his eyes instantly, indignation clear on his angular face.
“Whatever?” Will’s mouth was moving faster than his brain was. “You treat me like an ass, you don’t let me get a word in, and it’s suddenly whatever?”
Mike brought up a hand to swat Will’s palm away mid-shove. “You used to tell me everything, Will! I dunno, I thought that meant something!”
“It does mean something.” Will felt each word being pulled out him, voice loud in the small room.
“Then why didn’t you tell me about the girl.”
“Oh my god, what girl Mike-”
“The girl!” and suddenly, Mike was out of the chair, causing Will to stumble backwards and look upwards to meet his eyes. “The girl you liked in Lenora! The girl you told Dustin and Lucas about! The girl you made paintings for, the girl I had to hear about in El’s letters. Not from you, from El.”
Mike punctuated his last line with a jab of his own, poking a singular, hard finger against Will’s sternum. It was surprisingly strong, and he could feel himself teeter off balance for a second before he regained his footing.
“In case you forgot,” Will began, bringing a hand up to rub at his chest, “you and I weren’t exactly on the best of terms for a while there.”
Mike set his mouth into that same, thin line. “You lied, Will.”
“I didn’t lie,” he pushed, except Will couldn’t help but feel that creeping heat on his neck once more. He didn’t lie. He just didn’t tell the whole truth. The truth felt too dangerous, too forbidden. It wasn’t even just a lie, it was the biggest secret of Will’s entire life, holding the power to absolutely upheave everything if it ever came out.
Will blinked back at Mike, could feel his eyes watering just a little under the scrutiny. He swallowed thickly.
Suddenly, Mike pushed past Will and walked over to his bed. It was a classic Mike move, walking away once the conversation got too strong. Once things became too real. “Sure, man.”
God, what the fuck was Mike’s problem today? What was his problem at all? The conversation was swimming around Will’s head, Mike’s words making him feel hot and dizzy.
It was typical Mike Wheeler - spend several months ignoring him and pretending Will didn’t exist, show up and act like Will was a stranger, and then be offended that Will didn’t tell him about any theoretical relationships he had during that time like he had any right to know about them anyway. It was just so fucking hypocritical, so typical of Mike to not ask him anything and not even apologise. Classic Mike Wheeler, to act so self-righteous that he had any say in who Will had dated when here he was, single and dumped months ago by -
El.
Will watched as Mike picked things up from his floor, busying himself with anything than acknowledging Will. Clearly he only enjoyed cleaning when it meant he didn’t have to talk to WIll. He couldn’t help the words that began to develop on his tongue. Couldn’t help the tone he knew they would have. “What, and you’re not a liar yourself?”
Mike stood up instantly, eyes on Will as his face twisted into exaggerated confusion. He scoffed incredulously, like he was appalled Will was even bringing this up. “That’s different and you know it,” and dropped the clothes he had picked up onto his bed, then dumbly added “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
“It’s not different! You and El haven’t been together since March. March, Mike.” Will continued, punctuating each word with a pointed finger. “And are you planning on telling anyone any time soon? Or are you just going to keep lying to their faces? To Dustin’s? To Lucas’?”
Finally, Mike turned back to him with his arms outstretched. “Oh my god! How am I the bad guy here?”
Will couldn’t help the bold laugh he let out, walking closer to Mike and the bed. “God, bad guy? That excuse again?”
“What?” Mike at least had the audacity this time to look confused.
“You act like a douche bag and then have the nerve to wonder why people are mad at you.” Will continued, and began to punctuate each word with a jab of his finger. “You push and push, and then when someone finally pushes you back, you act like a dick! You did this in California, you did it downstairs, you do it all the time, Mike!”
Mike grabbed his wrist, holding it to the side as he glared down at Will. A scoff fell from his lips, before he snapped his words. “When did you grow a backbone?”
It was like Mike had slapped him.
He could feel his head jerk back at the words, could feel his mouth drop, face slack in surprise. It was almost absurd how quickly his eyes began to burn, the sting of tears making him suck his mouth tightly to his teeth to hold them in.
It was evident how the words had hurt him, because Mike’s face instantly softened, regret evident all over his face. He could see him swallow, could see Mike’s mouth gape for a moment while he tried to find the right word. “Will-”
“I do.” The words were out before he could stop them. They were thick, vaguely wet in a voice unlike his own. Mike blinked down at him, confused.
“...What?”
“I do have a girlfriend. In Lenora.”
Mike’s eyes widened impossibly fast. Will could feel his hand tighten against his wrist, still held up in the air as he watched a myriad of emotions cross Mike’s face. He yanked his hand out of the grasp and watched Mike’s face finally settle on betrayed confusion.
Fucker.
“That’s-that’s a-”
That felt like a good place to leave it. It wasn’t often Will made Mike speechless, it was better to leave now before he found his voice again and decided to call his bluff. Will turned around and walked towards the door, a few more stuttering words tumbling behind him.
“Goodnight, Mike.”
Will was at the door, yanking it open with more force than necessary.
Mike finally found his voice, except Will could hear more than regret tinging his words.
“Will!”
He closed the door behind himself, moving down the hall and towards the basement steps at an awkwardly fast pace. It was hard to not look like he was bolting from the room and running as fast as he could, yet here he was, already past the kitchen and halfway to the basement door. Mrs Wheeler must have taken Holly to her room, because the room was blissfully empty as he shut the door behind himself and leant against the wood.
He let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. Why had he even said that? Alone, he could feel the blood rushing through his head and making his brain spin. He could feel his throat aching with the tears he held in, could feel his eyes sting as he finally blinked after what felt like forever.
Fuck… if he had felt stupid before, Will felt really fucking dumb now.
Mike was just so… infuriating. And irrational. And insensitive. He hadn’t listened, or let Will explain himself. Explain himself for what, Will still didn’t know. For what, having a fake hypothetical girlfriend? If anything, Mike should be over the moon at the thought of Will with someone, thrilled that he wouldn’t be a third wheel anymore. It was just so… Mike Wheeler. To make up a problem that didn’t exist, and then fight with someone about it so he could feel right.
And why had Will lied? Why hadn't he just stuck to the truth and told Mike he was being delusional? It would have been the right thing, and the easy thing. It would have meant Mike was wrong at least, but still… he couldn’t get Mike’s face out of his head, jaw slack and eyes wide in surprise. Will let his head fall back against the door, the cold wood stark against his hot head. He let out another long breath, felt his eyes close, then with a sigh he walked down the stairs to forget this night ever happened.