Chapter Text
This place has taken me by storm
It makes me feel like running
This place is making me transform
Until I feel like nothing
-“The Flame in All of Us” by Thousand Foot Krutch
Bruce Wayne was not an ordinary man by any means. He was one of the wealthiest men in the world, and he was considered to be quite attractive by conventional standards. And of course, there was his night job where he masqueraded as a crime fighting vigilante. By human standards he was quite extraordinary.
It was the appearance of extraterrestrials that shattered his illusions of being exceptional. What was a mere human like him next to a god?
The Kryptonians were far superior to him in their physical capabilities. They were virtually indestructible, had super strength, and could even shoot lasers out of their eyes. How could he compare? The only thing capable of destroying a Kryptonian was another Kryptonian. Which Bruce decidedly was not.
When he saw them fight that fateful day in Metropolis, he felt so small and insignificant. Despite his best efforts he couldn't even save the employees in his building. He was completely powerless in a way he hadn't felt in a long time. Not since he was a young boy, running away from his parents’ funeral and the oppressing presence of the mausoleum that would be their new home.
It was humbling.
Yet he couldn't allow himself to give in to their might, no matter how powerful they were. There had to be some way to make himself stronger, to make himself better. He had to, or no one could stand a chance against them.
Superman was hailed as a hero. There was a monument created in his honor, a towering statue of him offering a helping hand to the feeble masses that passed by. Bruce had only visited it once. The revulsion of standing beneath a seemingly benevolent god that had wrought destruction upon them was too much.
He didn't care what everyone said. He didn't trust Superman. If it hadn't been for him then Zod wouldn't have even bothered with their planet. That was what he told himself anyway. There was no real way of knowing for sure.
Still, no one with the kind of power Superman possessed should be taken lightly, no matter how good their intentions. Superman hadn't unveiled himself to the world for very long- what if one day he decided they were unfit to govern themselves? What if one day he used his abilities to truly declare himself a god? A benevolent ruler was still a ruler, and he would not let this world fall to tyranny.
So he trained harder and thought long and good about how to stand on equal ground with a god.
Superman may have had the upper hand in physical abilities, but he had yet to prove his mental capabilities. If Bruce was smarter- which he dearly hoped he was-then perhaps they weren't on such uneven ground after all. Brawn wasn't everything.
Take the Joker for example. There was an average man, who only broke from the norm in his insanity and unnerving intelligence that he used to torture others. It was his intelligence that made him so dangerous rather than any sort of physical prowess.
"Master Bruce, you may think you're above the need for sleep, but I think even you require some rest," Alfred's voice cut neatly through his thoughts. He turned to face the other man, cowl resting atop his legs where he sat contemplating about opponents.
"Bats are nocturnal, Alfred," he joked, smiling slightly at the put upon look Alfred got on his face.
"That may be so sir, but you are half man regardless of what you say. You ought to get some sleep. You have a board meeting in the morning."
Bruce sighed before standing and replacing the cowl in its case. Alfred was right; he really did need some rest. After he divested himself of the rest of his Batman gear, he plodded upstairs to his bedroom with Alfred following dutifully behind.
He would think about Superman more in the morning.
Clark just wanted to be ordinary sometimes. He wanted to stay home and relax instead of worrying about the general safety of the world. He wanted ordinary things like warm food and a warm bed. He wanted to wake up next to the same person everyday and know that he'd made the right choice by giving them his heart.
Often times, he didn't get any of those things. He often made food or ordered takeout only to find himself far away from it to help someone else. By the time he returned it was usually cold or lukewarm at best. And his bed never had a body in it long enough for it to feel anything but cold. And he had no one to give his heart to anymore.
He thought giving it to Lois was the right choice. He wasn't entirely wrong. He and Lois got along really well. She was beautiful and kind, but not afraid of letting her voice be heard. Sometimes she was his voice of reason, keeping his head from the clouds. Or from the chains that threatened to pull him under. He loved her so much, but in the end it wasn't the kind of love he expected.
She was his best friend before the break up, and it stayed that way after the break up. It was fortunate that they both reached the conclusion they were not meant to be at the same time. It was sad at first, knowing that they were so close, but not quite there. It stung for them to realize they had to keep looking for someone that they would love as much. But they powered through it, and they were still as close as ever, even if it wasn't in quite the same way.
When he looked back on it, he supposed a large part of what drove him to her romantically was the idea of not having to hide who he was. Lois knew his biggest secret without him ever having to tell her. It seemed logical to him that she was ideal for him in the sense that he could truly be himself. Unlike most people she didn't see him just as Clark Kent or just as Superman. She saw that they were him, cape or glasses regardless. There were no alternate identities with her.
He wished Lois was the right person for him. But that particular spark just wasn't there.
He wondered if he would ever find the right person, with just the right kind of spark. Maybe if Krypton was still there and he was normal among them he could have found them. Or perhaps if he'd just been human, he'd have found them.
He was neither completely human nor completely Kryptonian. It had seemed like a strength when he fought Zod, but now it left him feeling lost.
He needed someone to make him feel worthwhile. It wasn't like his mother and Lois, and other friends didn't make him feel loved, but he needed romantic love too. Without it there was always that nagging sensation that he just wasn't good enough.
Here he was, one of the most powerful men in the world, and he was hopelessly insignificant.