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— 23 December 2013 —
Billy got out of the car and slammed the door shut, harder than necessary. It let out a satisfying thunk that echoed in the garage louder than he’d expected.
Man, not one big open space in this fucking house that didn’t.
He stood there for a beat, jaw tight, before slouching towards the staircase and up the steps, one by one.
Jesus. The things he let Steve talk him into. The things he let Steve buy.
But Steve had used the magic words: ‘for the kids’.
Their kids. Billy’s kryptonite.
The moment Billy stepped into the foyer, his shoulders tensed again. The younger kids’ yelling mixed with the cacophony of music because of a stupid ongoing competition between Tom’s stereo and Claire’s electric guitar hit him like a hammer in the head.
The open space that reached up to the ceiling of the second floor still felt like it made sounds louder than they actually were. He’d always thought sounds would vanish in a larger space, but clearly he’d been wrong.
Well, he’d never imagined living in a mansion like this but a few months prior, so. What did he know?
He’d have to ask Steve if there was something that could be done about these sound issues—specifically considering future days like this. All he wanted was to get through the rest of the day and then just sleep, and this wasn’t helping at all.
Tomorrow was going to be all noise and hustle and bustle anyway with everyone arriving, and right now he didn’t even want to think about the main event on Christmas Day.
He made his way to the kitchen, the sounds quieting down with the mere distance between the foyer and the kitchen, and saw Steve sitting on the couch in the family room, reading a magazine.
Billy wasn’t in the mood for idle chitchat. He needed a shower and something to eat, so without a word he made his way directly to the fridge, grabbed the OJ from the door, and drank straight from the carton.
Steve lowered the magazine to look at him. “Hey! I was expecting you an hour ago.”
Billy scoffed. “Well, I’m very sorry, Your Highness, that I didn’t make it on time,” he snapped, and drank more.
Steve paused, then took off his reading glasses as he set the magazine down and shuffled to Billy, opening his arms. “Com’ere.”
Billy was tired, and he almost took a step back, the word ‘don’t’ ready to fall from the tip of his tongue. But when Steve curled his arms around him, his whole body instinctively relaxed a little and he let out a sigh. He pressed his face into Steve’s cheek, his stubble tickling Billy’s nose. “You haven’t shaved,” he muttered.
“Thought I’d try this thing called holiday for the few days I’m not working. It includes not shaving.”
Billy could hear the grin in Steve’s words. “You’d better shave for the ceremony.”
“What if I grew a beard?” Steve pondered, as if he hadn’t heard what Billy said.
It was Steve’s way of teasing Billy. And Billy wouldn’t have it any other way. He tickled Steve, making him wiggle with a delighted little laugh and grab Billy’s hand to stop it. “Shave. Please?”
“I don’t remember ever complaining about your mustache.”
“There’s a difference, and it’s called your problem.”
Steve laughed. “What do you want to eat?”
“Anything you want, baby. I gotta take a shower first, but then I can—”
“Let me cook tonight.”
Billy pulled back a little and looked at Steve, narrowing his eyes and examining his face. “What have you done to my Steve? You must be an evil clone. Mine never offers to cook free-willingly.”
“Hey, I do!” Steve objected with a smile. “You’re just more often conveniently at home, that’s all. Take a shower, soak as long as you want. I’ll make…something.”
“You sure?” Billy asked, softer.
Steve nodded. “Yeah, absolutely.”
Billy pecked Steve on the cheek before he let go. “Do not order pizza the moment I walk out of the room, okay?”
Steve gasped, placed a hand on his chest and looked at Billy, feigning shock. “Me? Taking the easy way out?”
Billy was already backing towards the doorway, grinning. “Yes, you. Always.”
***
He made his way up the stairs, trying to decide whom to scold so that he could cut the noise and he wouldn’t have to go through all the rooms.
Too many rooms—yet not too many kids, though. Tom and the terror twins, Claire and Carol, all already in high school, Billy’s biological nine-year-old daughter Allison, and Steve’s son Michael, who was the youngest of them all, soon turning eight. And soon the herd would welcome sixth one, Jacob.
That was why they’d moved to the mansion. They’d simply run out of space in the old one. Billy hoped they’d never had to buy a bigger one.
“Tom! Claire!” Billy boomed as he walked up the stairs. “Volume down. Now!”
The volume of the noise lowered instantly.
Soon Michael and Allison peeked out of Michael’s door.
“Were we too loud?” Michael asked.
Billy smiled and walked to them. Allison clung to his side immediately, and he hugged her. “Maybe a little, but not like Tom and Claire.”
Michael’s eyes widened, and a big smile spread across his face. “Dada, we made a volcano at school today! With smoke and all!”
“Wow!”
“Can we make one?”
“We can. But we have a lot to prepare for Christmas, and tomorrow Aunt Max and everyone else comes over. We can make one after Christmas.”
Michael nodded with a big grin and went back to the Nintendo he’d been playing with Allison.
Billy placed a kiss on Allison’s head. “Hey, bee. How was your day?” he asked, his voice soft.
“It was okay,” she mumbled quietly.
Her tone wrenched Billy’s heart, telling him the day hadn’t been okay. He hugged her tighter. “What did he do this time?”
“He ripped my math book. He’s an ass.”
Spot on, Billy thought as he had to bite back a chuckle not to make her think he was laughing at her. “Yeah, he sure is.”
She tilted her head to look at him, pleading, “Can you make him stop?”
He leaned down to place a kiss on the top of her head and rubbed her back. He wished he could. “I can make you stronger so you can kick his ass and make him stop.”
“But you’d kick his ass.”
“Yeah, I would,” Billy replied, amused, even though a lump of guilt formed in his chest. He’d been just like that boy in school. “But it doesn’t work like that. Bullies like him, they don’t listen to reason. What they do listen to is if you kick them in the shin—or their ass—harder than they hit you.”
She giggled, tightening the hug. “Dad told me violence is never the answer.”
“Well, Dad wouldn’t know,” Billy replied with a smile, “he was always a lousy fighter.”
***
After ending up checking on everyone anyway—old habits die hard—Billy made his way to his and Steve’s bedroom.
It had the last unopened boxes from the recent move lying around, hidden there from the guests who were arriving tomorrow.
He sighed and shook his head as he made his way between them into his walk-in wardrobe.
As he took off his clothes, his eyes stopped at the white silk shirt and jeans he’d already picked up as his attire for the ceremony.
No one knew about it except him, Steve, and Eddie.
Steve had proposed the day gay marriage had become legal in California earlier that year. They’d decided on the spot they wanted to tie the knot on Christmas Day when everyone they cared for was present.
Max, Lucas and little Mary, Eddie and Chrissy, and Dustin and Erica—yeah, no one had seen that pair ever happening.
Billy looked at the ring on his finger. Steve had given it to him when they’d moved to California a lifetime ago. Steve would be slipping another one on the finger the day after tomorrow—on Christmas morning.
It wouldn’t change anything in their daily lives. Yet, it would change everything. They would finally become an official family, and all of them would share the same last name.
Neil would’ve gotten a heart attack about Billy marrying a guy—let alone Steve, the golden boy of Hawkins, son of Neil’s boss’ boss.
Funny how the tables turned.
Such a shame Neil already had one in the late 1990s and kicked the bucket. Billy looked up and directed a middle finger at the heavens. “Eat shit, old man.”
He turned on the shower, and the water fell, soft as rain, over his shoulders. Leaning his hands on the tiles, he let the water run over his stiff shoulders, warm them up, and wash away the stress from the day at the classic car workshop he owned.
He didn’t have to work—he wanted to. Doing something with his hands had always kept him grounded, especially now that Steve was the marketing CEO at one of those bigass movie production houses.
The first thing Steve had insisted on after getting the job earlier that year was getting this house. This thing that threw Billy’s words back at him if he said something in the wrong space—looking at you foyer and garage—took an hour to walk from end to end, two days to clean, and had a garden that needed a fucking professional gardener. It would probably keep him feeling overwhelmed whenever he drove through the gate for a long while.
But it had enough space for the kids, the neighborhood was safe, and excellent schools were all close by.
He’d get used to it eventually.
Billy huffed a small laugh. In the beginning, all they had was each other and a sad two-bedroom apartment that had a leak in the bathroom. But they were happy.
They still were. Maybe that was the most important thing.
Twenty-eight years. Sheesh.
About time to tie the knot.
***
After the shower, Billy, now in a better mood, returned to the kitchen and found Steve kneading dough on the counter.
Billy couldn’t help but admire the view for a moment. His expensive-suit-wearing husband-to-be was still hot even after all these years, and especially so when those goddamn sleeves were rolled up to his elbows.
Back in high school, Billy had never imagined getting the hots for a preppy, polo-wearing pretty boy, yet alone anything he was looking at now.
But here he was, with a funny tickle in the pit of his stomach.
He cocked his eyebrow. “Hey, you promised no pizza.”
Steve glared at him. “I’m making it myself. You said no ordering, not no pizza.”
Billy cackled and pecked a kiss on Steve’s cheek. “I’m messing with ya, cookie.” Then he continued with a low voice, brushing Steve’s lower back with his hand before he went to the fridge, “You should’ve changed though, you’ll ruin those Gucci slacks with flour anyway and then I’ll have to help you get out of them so you won’t stain them more.”
Steve followed Billy with his gaze, letting out a laugh. “Yes, what a drag that would be for you.”
Billy grinned to himself as he rummaged through the fridge to find tomatoes, mozzarella and ham to chop for the pizza. “You think they’d like mushrooms?” he asked, as if the previous exchange hadn’t even happened.
“You asked that last time too, and Allison ended up picking out each one from her slice last time. I wouldn’t count on it.”
“Then we’ll leave enough without them for her, and she doesn’t have to pick out anything.”
Billy loved this. The easy domesticity, the easy closeness between them, doing something together for their family.
***
Steve’s insides had tightened upon seeing how exhausted Billy looked when he came home. Billy loved his work, wouldn’t stop talking about the cars he was working on if you asked—but today he hadn’t looked like he’d had a good day.
“So, how was your day?” Steve asked.
Billy sighed, his hold on the knife tightening. “That woman came in again.”
Steve knew about the woman, he’d seen her once or twice at the workshop. She was stunning even though she had to be 10 or maybe more years older than them. And kept bothering Billy. “She did?”
Billy grinned, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah. The Jag has been fully restored now, so there’s nothing wrong with it. I think she comes in just to flirt with me. She probably thinks she has a chance. Which she doesn’t, she’s just a client. I’m just so tired of her coming in again…”
Billy’s words dissolved into the dark haze in Steve’s brain that took over, and he clenched his jaw. He knew Billy meant exactly what he said—she was nothing but a client. Yet the unease wrapped itself around Steve’s throat, whispering words in his ear he knew were lies.
Billy was still stunning. At forty-six, he still spent an hour in the gym every day or went to catch some waves with the kids. He filled all his shirts and jeans just the right way—just like he’d done all those years ago.
And Steve didn’t like anyone thinking they had a chance with—
Billy’s voice, suddenly right next to Steve’s ear, cut through his thoughts. “Hey, babe,” he murmured, with an arm wrapped around Steve’s waist, the other gently holding Steve’s wrist. “Come back. Take a deep breath.”
Steve looked down and saw he was squeezing the dough so tight it was ballooning from between his fingers. He let go of it and let his ego sag down on the counter with it.
“No need to get jealous,” Billy assured softly. “She’s just a bitch who has shitall to live for. She means nothing.”
“You could tell her to find another mechanic,” Steve muttered. He wanted to take Billy’s hands in his, to hold him, to ground him, but his hands were covered with.
Billy did it instead, took Steve’s hand in his and twined their fingers together, pressing a kiss on Steve’s fingers—despite the flour and bits of dough. He brushed the back of the hand with his cheek and then leaned closer to kiss Steve. “I’m marrying you,” he whispered. “You’ll never get rid of me.”
Steve let out a low growl and wrapped his arms around Billy’s waist, trying to avoid wiping his hands on Billy’s clothes. “You belong to me,” he hissed.
Billy grinned, licking his lower lip with his tongue. “Oh, yeah?”
Steve bared his teeth and pulled them tightly together. “Uh huh.”
Billy kissed him.
It didn’t take long for the kiss to deepen and heat up.
“Ew, get a room,” came from the kitchen door as Carol made a beeline to the fridge.
Her words made Steve and Billy laugh.
“We got a room. Then we had you and no longer had it. We’re stuck making out in the kitchen,” Billy teased her.
She rolled her eyes hard enough for them to almost get stuck in the back of her head. “So not true. You got a bedroom the size of, like, an apartment.”
The fridge door thumped closed as she shoved it closed and stomped away with a yogurt.
“Hey, dinner’s in an hour!” Steve shouted after her. “Let the others know!”
“Okay, Dad,” she shouted back from the staircase.
“Wow, she didn’t even scoff this time,” Billy chuckled.
Steve turned his attention back to Billy. “Must be the Christmas spirit.”
He licked his lips as he mapped the face of his soon-to-be-husband. Billy’s eyes were still strikingly blue, still surrounded by the thickest set of lashes Steve had ever seen. The crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes were now prominent, and a permanent crease had appeared between his brows from frowning. But the freckles the California sun had painted over his face had remained, making him look younger than his age.
Billy was gorgeous, just like back then when Steve had seen him for the first time. Steve counted his lucky stars every day.
He leaned in closer and placed his hands on the counter behind Billy, pinning him between it and himself. “Where were we?”
Billy licked his lip across his lower lip. “I think we were right…here.” He kissed Steve, curling his arms tighter around Steve’s waist, running his hands up and down Steve’s back as they kept kissing, slow and sweet.
***
Later, Steve was setting the dinner table. It was huge, seated twelve. Now it was set just for seven.
Steve looked at his handiwork and checked whether anything was missing. Nothing was.
He smiled, excited. One of the empty seats would be filled soon by Jacob.
They’d gone through the adoption process many times, but it had always been worth it. It would be this time too. Though this time it wouldn’t be a toddler like with the others, they were too old for that. But it didn’t matter.
They wanted to have one more kid now that they still had the energy. They knew they could do that.
He’d always wanted six kids ever since…well. It hadn’t turned out to work exactly the way he’d imagined back then. No wife to give birth, yet still each kid just as dear and loved—both adopted and ones gotten with surrogates.
Steve thanked the universe for Billy, allowing him to have all these kids.
Who would’ve known the tough guy had a soft spot for kids? When a toddler offered a toy phone to him, he answered every time, sat through a play tea party no matter how long it lasted, and spent hours patiently sitting down and letting his otherwise precious hair to be braided, his nails painted, and acting as a living makeup head, often with hilarious results.
Gosh, how much Steve loved him.
He shook his head, and his smile widened.
Six kids.
Three boys and three girls would soon live under their roof, and two of the boys were teenagers. He chuckled. They would need to restock the fridge every fucking day.
***
After dinner, Billy was lounging on the couch in the family room while Steve was in the kitchen, loading the dishwasher. Billy stared at his phone on the table, willing it to ring. It was late, already the 22nd, and Eddie still hadn’t confirmed anything. He was starting to lose his hope of the whole ceremony happening when they’d hoped.
But then the phone came to life with the classic riff from Master of Puppets played by Claire.
“Yo!”
“I got it!” Eddie shouted so loud from the other end of the call that Billy had to pull his phone away from his ear.
“Hey, volume down from eleven, dude!”
Eddie cackled and continued, with close to normal volume, “Well, I got it, I really did! Man, I didn’t expect it to be that easy.”
“Yeah, for you maybe,” Billy snickered.
“Hey!” Eddie shot back, mock-offended. “I did it for you guys! I can always not do it. If you know what I mean.”
“Right. As if,” Billy shot back.
“I mean, I can always get a surprise gig, and you know how us musicians are about getting paid for a gig…”
“You’re not getting paid for doing the deed for us, and you’re even more not getting a gig on the fucking Christmas day,” Billy laughed. “Or else!”
Eddie sniffed. “I guess I then don’t have a choice.”
“You do it because you love us.”
“Fuck you, man,” Eddie chuckled.
“You guys already packed?” Steve shouted from the kitchen.
“The love of my life is asking if you—” Billy started.
Eddie cut in. “I heard. Tell him me and Chrissy live an hour away, not on the other side of the country. If you want, we’ll get our stuff together in fifteen minutes and then we’re there.”
“It’s enough if you’re here tomorrow,” Billy laughed. “Max and Lucas arrive then too. I’m not sure about Dustin and Erica.”
“They ride with us.”
Billy froze. This wasn’t on his All-The-Things-That-Could-Go-Wrong list.
He groaned, closing his eyes and rubbing his forehead with his hand. “Swear to me by your unborn child that you won’t babble the whole fucking plan to them!”
Steve appeared at the kitchen doorway, staring at Billy, his eyes blown wide open. He twisted the dish towel so tight he was turning it into a rope rather quickly. “Dustin and Erica are gonna go visit Eddie and Chrissy before coming here?”
Billy grimaced and let out a deep sigh. “Yeah, that’s exactly what’s happening.”
Steve hung his head. “Shit.”
“Yup.”
“Hey! They’re already here,” Eddie shouted from the phone. “But I won’t tell them, okay? You can trust me.”
“Eddie, how many times—” Steve started, only to be cut in by Billy.
“You don’t have the best track record, man. Remember who ratted out our move here in California?”
“That was twenty-five years ago!”
“Yes, and I’m still salty about it. This is bigger. Don’t screw this one up, you hear me?”
Eddie’s tone was softer when he spoke. “I won’t. I mean it. I wouldn’t do that to you guys.”
Billy was quiet for a beat, biting his lips, before sighing. “Yeah. I believe you. It’s just a day.”
When they’d hung up, Billy let the phone fall onto the couch and slumped onto the couch himself. “He’s so gonna spill it.”
Steve sat next to him, brushing Billy’s thigh with his hand. “He got the license?”
A wide grin spread across Billy’s face. “He fucking did.”
Steve grabbed Billy’s face and pulled him into a deep kiss.
Billy ran his fingers through the thick strands of hair at the back of Steve’s head, pulling him closer. When he let go, he looked at Steve, cradling his cheek in his hand. “Baby, we’re really getting married.”
Steve moved his hand behind Billy’s back and pulled him close, and Billy snuggled against him.
Steve leaned his head against Billy’s. “Never thought I’d see the day.”
They settled into a silence that was still charged. Billy was counting the seconds until Steve would ask about it—again. He didn’t have to wait long.
“You already decided?” Steve murmured.
Oh, Billy had. He chuckled, a low rumble in his chest. “Not yet,” he lied.
Steve pursed his lips and hummed, like he didn’t quite believe Billy. “You want to surprise me?”
“Maybe.”
“You’re killing me.”
“I know,” Billy purred. “Wanna keep you on your toes a little.”
“You could sometimes keep me a little less on my toes, you know,” Steve muttered. “Could use that from time to time.”
Billy cackled. “Now, where would be the fun in that?”
— 24 December 2013 —
The sounds from the TV, and Michael bickering with Tom about the too-low jam/peanut butter ratio in a sandwich, reached the second floor, loud and clear, as Billy slouched down the stairs the next morning, scratching his stubble.
He cut the argument with a sharp, “Hey!”
Tom, 20, was smart enough to look a little sheepish for being caught in an argument with a 7-year-old over strawberry jam.
“No fighting over food! Michael, you’re not a baby anymore. Make your own sandwich if the one made by Tom doesn’t suit you.”
“I just wanted a little more jam! Look!” Michael whined, reaching out with the slice of bread for Billy to see. It had just a sheen of red on it. “Tom did it on purpose.”
Billy sighed as he grabbed a mug from the cupboard and sloshed it full of coffee, not caring if it spilled over. He wasn’t yet awake enough for this shit.
“Tom, don’t rile your brother up this early in the morning. I can’t take it,” Billy chuckled.
Tom grinned, took his plate and mug and went to the couch with Claire and Carol to stare at his phone.
Billy pointed at the knife on the table. “Michael, just add some. Jesus, it ain’t that hard.”
He leaned his back against the counter, shaking his head as he sipped the coffee, watching Michael slather a generous amount of jam on the bread. The coffee was just a bit too hot, but at least it snapped him awake. “Christ,” he muttered. “I’m too old for this.”
Allison was next to arrive, still rubbing her eyes. She clung to Billy’s side, burying her face in him.
Billy brushed her head gently with his hand and placed a kiss on the top of her head. “Hey, little bee. Wanna have something to eat?”
She nodded.
“What would you like?”
“Chocolate Puffs.”
Billy fake-grimaced. “Yuck, they’re just crunchy air. We don’t have ‘em.”
She looked up at him, grinning. “I still can want ‘em, can I?”
Billy huffed a laugh. “Where have you learn to be so cheeky?”
“From you, probably,” Steve jabbed as he had walked into the kitchen conveniently to hear the exchange.
“Oh, bite me,” Billy shot back.
Steve made his way to the cupboard, took a mug, and poured the coffee. “Just telling it how I see it, babe.”
“How I see it is that I have a house full of smartasses,” Billy muttered, grinning and shaking his head as he let go of Allison, and took a slice of bread, sticking the knife into the peanut butter jar, and started making a sandwich for her.
***
It was a tradition that whenever it was possible, Eddie and Chrissy, Max, Lucas and their little girl Mary, and Dustin and Erica, would spend Christmas with Billy and Steve.
This year, Billy and Steve had made sure everyone would make it.
At noon, almost on the dot, the gate phone rang. Not long after, a familiar voice came from the foyer.
“May we enter?” Eddie called from the door.
“You shall not pass!” Michael shouted as he ran down the stairs with his long staff Eddie had made for him, and clanked its other end to the tiles in front of Eddie with a loud bang, just like Gandalf in front of Balrog in Lord of the Rings.
Eddie gasped, spreading his arms wide and snarling at the boy. “But I shall!”
“I will not allow it!” Michael shouted with conviction.
Eddie took slow, slumping steps towards Michael, growling and shaking his head, making Michael break his character and scream, delighted. “And now I’m going to eat you!” he growled as he finally reached Michael and grabbed him and lifted him high in the air.
While this opening act between Eddie and Michael—both huge fantasy nerds—repeated once again, like every time Eddie came around, Steve went to greet Chrissy at the door.
“Do you think they’ll ever move along from that?” she asked, probably for the millionth time as they hugged.
“Not for the foreseeable future, I think,” Steve laughed when he let go. “Where are the other two?”
She grinned. “Trying to argue their way out of the car. Dustin said something wrong during the drive and is now trying desperately to explain why he’s not the one who’s wrong. Erica’s not buying any of it.”
Steve laughed. “Serves him right.”
Max and Lucas came in next, Billy walking straight to Max and grabbing her in a tight hug.
The foyer was full of happy chatter when the door opened once more.
When Erica walked in, a wide grin on her face, followed by Dustin, who looked very much defeated, Billy and Steve glanced at each other and both of them Eddie.
Eddie was suddenly very interested in his and Chrissy’s bags and made a point of not looking back.
Steve put on a brave face and nodded to Billy, a silent we’ll get through this, and went to greet the couple.
“So,” Dustin started as he and Steve hugged, “I hear you have something special planned for this year.”
“Yes, we do. A surprise.” Steve emphasized the last word.
Dustin pulled back and looked at him in the way he always did. Wordlessly telling him, dude just spill it—you won’t be able to keep the secret from me, anyway.
The gate phone rang once more, interrupting the probing to Steve’s relief. “Sorry,” he said over his shoulder as he walked to the phone. “This time I’m not gonna tell you anything. You’ll learn about it with everyone else.”
***
Billy saw Steve answering the phone and soon Steve gestured to Billy to go to the door.
He raised his eyebrow and pointed at the door. “The front door?” he mouthed wordlessly in surprise. He knew it was the wedding bouquet. It was supposed to have arrived in the morning to avoid this exact thing from happening, and now the whole foyer was full of…everyone. Fuck.
Revealing the secret early wasn’t the end of the world, but he also didn’t want to do it if he had the chance. They’d kept the secret for months—he didn’t want to ruin it on the last day.
He sighed, resigned, and stalked to the door, slipping through it.
The delivery guy handed him a big box that mostly hid the flowers—thanks for small mercies—and Billy thanked him before the man was on his way.
Billy looked at the bouquet through the see-through plastic on the top lid. Big blood-red roses with long stems for him, tied together with a wide blood-red satin ribbon, the same color as Steve’s shirt would be at the ceremony. For Steve there was a simple rose boutonnière of the same color.
The flowers made it suddenly very real that they were doing this. This time tomorrow, Billy would be a Harrington. His own surname forgotten and never to be spoken again.
Yeah, they had vowed to each other so many times that there was no paper in the world that would make anything any different between the two of them. They were both in this for life, no doubt about it.
Yet with that paper, the so meaningless one, the last link to Billy’s ugly past would be severed.
So yeah, it would make things different. He could finally forget all that baggage he’d dragged with him all these years just with the surname. It wouldn’t undo anything, but at least he wouldn’t have to think about Neil half the time when he signed his name.
He’d just have to learn to write his new last name. Of course, he would never admit that he might have a math notebook from high school somewhere hidden away that had the entire last spread filled with tries to write his signature as William Harrington in the coolest possible way.
It was only with Steve’s surname that he’d felt good using his real first name. Maybe he could start using it now.
William Harrington, husband of Stephen Harrington III. Father of Thomas, Claire, Caroline, Allison, Michael, and Jacob Harrington.
It had a lovely sound to it. All of them, him and Allison included, Harringtons.
Billy had to bite his cheek hard not to cry on the spot. He’d bitten it so often lately that it felt sore.
He got back inside and found only Max left in the foyer. She was sitting on the massive staircase, waiting for him.
The moment she saw the tears on his cheeks, her expression turned concerned, and she stood up. “Hey, everything alright?”
“’s nothing,” Billy managed, grimacing. He rushed through the kitchen and to the service corridor to get the flowers out of sight and into the cool of the dry pantry.
It wasn’t as fast as he’d hoped since the corridor and the chef’s kitchen were full of catering staff preparing the dinner for today and all meals for tomorrow.
Jesus. Yet another thing he’d never get used to. Someone else preparing meals at their home.
When Billy finally got the flowers where he wanted, he returned to Max, who had waited in the kitchen. Rubbing her arms, he assured her, “Seriously, nothing is wrong. Trust me. I just…” He wiped his eyes with his hands. “I’ve just missed you all.”
Max frowned, not quite believing him.
Billy knew she could see through him—she knew something was going on. He hugged her tight.
She leaned her cheek on his shoulder. “I really missed you too, dipshit.”
Billy huffed out a laugh. “Thanks, shitbird.”
***
Steve and Tom had helped the guests get their things to the guest rooms. Steve was on his way to the staircase when he almost ran into Eddie, who came out of his and Chrissy’s room. He grabbed Eddie’s arm and pulled him to the master bedroom, not bothering to check if the door closed behind them. “You got the form with you?” he asked impatiently.
Eddie took a deep breath. “Yes, Steve, I got it.” He dug the form they’d have to fill to make the marriage official from his pocket and gave it to Steve. “Here.”
Steve quickly read through it. His name on the line, followed by Billy’s. The surname field on the “New last name” space on Billy’s side was empty. He’d hoped Eddie would’ve been sloppy enough to accidentally fill it.
Eddie grinned, knowing what Steve was doing. “He told me not to write it in there yet.”
Steve gestured in the air vaguely with the form. “Not fair he keeps it from me!”
“Calm down, dude! I know I’m bending the rules here, but yes, he actually can keep it from you until it’s signed. He has plenty of time to tell you after the ceremony.”
Steve sniffed. “So, what, all five minutes?”
Eddie laughed. “I need to get the paper to the registry office after the holidays. He’s got several days.”
Steve groaned as he walked to the lounge chair on the other side of the room and slumped on it. “You have any idea how he’s been playing it on me?”
Eddie’s grin melted into something softer as he plopped down to sit on the side of the bed. “I don’t quite get why it is so important to you. I guess Billy told me not to tell you because he’s…well, him. But he’s made up his mind about it. Just trust him.”
“He’s going to keep his own name then,” Steve muttered.
“Just stop, okay?” Eddie laughed. “You’re not getting it out of me.”
Steve bit his nails. “He sure knows how to drive me crazy.”
Eddie grinned. “You’ve been together for so long and still…Dude. Getting married—it’s just the icing on the cake. The cake is still as good, no matter the last name.”
“I just…” Steve started, the word just melting into a tired uh halfway. “I’ve always hoped he’d want my last name.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah.” Steve looked down, smiling, embarrassed. He felt a blush creeping up his neck. “I used to…Christ.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “I used to practice writing our names in a notebook in high school. To see how it would look if we both had the same last name.”
“You old sap,” Eddie laughed.
Steve joined him. “That’s exactly what Billy would say.”
“You never told him?”
“No. It felt stupid.”
Eddie grinned. “You never know. He might find it romantic.”
“Wouldn’t count on it,” Steve chuckled. “He’d just tease me about doing something so stupid until the end of time.”
***
Later, they were in the middle of dinner, chatter filling the big open space.
Michael’s bright voice cut through it all. “Dad. Are you and Uncle Eddie gonna get married?”
The conversion halted, making the clank Billy’s fork made when it slipped from his hand echo loudly in the room.
Steve bit his lip, then looked at Michael, who was sitting next to him, and hugged him sideways. “Eddie and I are most definitely not getting married because—” He stopped himself before continuing with because me and your Dada are.
Steve glanced at Billy, who sat on his left. Billy was looking back with a small smile, his tongue peeking from between his teeth—the most adorable smile Billy could ever give Steve. He knew Billy knew what was left unsaid.
Billy took Steve’s hand under the table and pecked a kiss on his cheek—and the older kids on the other side of the table all groaned in unison.
“God, please stop!”
“You’re embarrassing us!”
“Eww, would you get a room!”
For the first time, Allison joined the choir on Billy’s left side. She jabbed Billy in his thigh. “Dada, stop!”
Billy looked at her, faked shock painted on his face. “Et tu, Brute!”
She looked back with a mischievous grin.
The whole table erupted in laughter.
“So, have you guys thought about it?” Dustin asked as he took a sip from his wineglass. “It’s been legal for a while here, hasn’t it?”
Steve smiled, a bit too wide for his liking. Maybe it wasn’t too bad if everyone suspected it to happen soon. “Yeah, we’ve thought about it.” He squeezed Billy’s hand tighter, and Billy returned the squeeze. “One day.”
***
After dinner, Max and Billy took Mary, Michael and Allison to bed.
Michael was still concerned. “Is Eddie going to move in with us?”
Billy guessed Michael must’ve heard Steve and Eddie talk about something earlier. “Were you eavesdropping Dad and Uncle Eddie?” he asked.
Michael blushed. “I didn’t mean to. The door was open,” he mumbled.
“And is an open door an invitation to listen, huh?”
“No,” Michael grunted.
Billy ruffled the boy’s hair. “It’s okay, buddy. You have nothing to worry about.” He placed a kiss on Michael’s forehead. “You know what? I think it might have something to do with Santa. A big gift, maybe. You’ll find out in the morning.”
Michael’s eyes blew wide open in awe as if he’d been told the biggest secret ever. “Really?” Then he narrowed his eyes.
Shit.
The kid was soon not buying the Santa is real thing anymore. He was turning eight in the spring. Maybe it was about time.
Not yet, though.
Billy looked at the boy as seriously as he could. “Yeah. Really. C’mon, it’s time to sleep.”
When Billy a moment later went to check on Allison, she pulled him close. “Dada, I know what’s going to happen in the morning,” she whispered in his ear.
Billy pulled back enough to look at her. “What do you think will happen?”
Allison smiled widely, as if she truly had figured it out. “You and Dad are getting married.”
Her words hit the air out of Billy’s lungs. He blinked idly, lost for words for a moment. No point in denying it since she’d hit the nail on the head. He smiled and whispered, “How did you guess?”
She took Billy’s left hand and grabbed his ring finger. “You took off your ring. You never take it off because it drives Dad crazy. He’s gonna give you a new one.”
Billy looked at the ring finger that indeed didn’t have a ring. He’d taken it off for the shower yesterday and never put it back on . “You’ve been reading Nancy Drew way too much, young lady,” he chuckled and tickled her, making her wriggle and giggle. “It’s our secret, okay?” he whispered. “Don’t tell anyone in the morning.”
Allison made a gesture of locking her mouth with a key and throwing away the key.
Billy got up. “Good night, Bee.”
“Good night, Dada.”
— 25 December 2013 —
Billy woke up with the sun shining straight onto his face. He groaned and pulled the pillow next to his over his eyes. It smelled like Steve.
Steve shuffled next to him, curling his arm around Billy’s waist. “I was just about to wake you up.”
“Mmh,” Billy groaned. “Don’t want to get up yet.”
“Well, everyone else seems to be awake already, so. I think you have to. And I wanna get married to you.”
“Always in a goddamn rush,” Billy muttered.
Steve huffed a laugh. “I’ve waited thirty goddamn years for this. Don’t wanna wait any longer.”
“I wanna have a shower first.”
“Where did you leave the flowers?”
“Downstairs pantry.”
“Shit.”
Billy pulled the pillow from over his eyes and looked at Steve. “Babe. In case you didn’t remember, we have a service staircase. You can get there and back without anyone seeing you.”
“Oh.” Steve looked at Billy sheepishly.
Billy laughed and lazily shoved him. “Need me to draw you a map?”
Steve straddled Billy’s thighs and leaned down to his elbows on both sides of Billy’s head.
Billy carded his fingers through Steve’s hair and pulled him into a kiss. His other hand found its way to Steve’s ass and…well. “Could we…just a quick one?”
Steve chuckled and pulled back. “Gorgeous, get up. We gotta get married first.”
“But I wanna fuck my husband.”
“Well, since you asked so nicely,” Steve replied, rolling his eyes. He smirked. “I want to fuck my husband too. But in the evening. Take the shower. I’ll get the flowers.”
***
Billy lost his breath when he saw Steve in the black slacks, with the boutonnière attached to his silky, shining blood-red shirt. Steve’s eyes were shimmering, and he was biting his lips together so hard that they were white.
“Baby,” Billy cooed, cupping Steve’s chin in his palm. A few tears fell onto his hand. “I hope those are happy tears.”
Steve nodded, rubbing his hand on Billy’s side. His voice trembled as he spoke, “You’re beautiful.”
Billy smiled and kissed the tears away softly. “Let’s go.”
As they stepped out of the bedroom, they were greeted by noises from downstairs. Kids were squealing and giggling over something, the smell of coffee was wafting from the kitchen, and chatter was coming from the living room.
Billy and Steve tiptoed down the stairs in their socks, Steve holding their slippers, and stopped to listen behind the corner, just out of sight.
“Should I go look for them?” Dustin huffed. “What’s taking them so long?”
Eddie chuckled. “You sound like you’re running out of patience for opening presents.”
“Oh, fu—fox you,” Dustin said, mock-offended, saving the curse word last moment for the sake of the younger kids.
“I do smell a rat,” Erica added. “They’ve been behaving suspiciously the whole time we’ve been here.”
“You’re a regular bloodhound,” Max laughed. “You question everything that even slightly deviates from normal.”
“Hey! I’m a serious researcher. I dig up secrets of the universe,” Erica stated bluntly. “They sure can’t keep one for too long from me and Dustin.”
Billy and Steve looked at each other, grinning.
It was time.
Billy peeked behind the corner to see into the living room. As they had agreed, Eddie was sitting on the couch that was facing the doorway and glancing in its direction from time to time, ready to start when he got a sign from Billy.
Eddie’s face lit up when he noticed Billy. He stood up and took his place in front of the massive Christmas tree.
“What are you doing?” Chrissy asked.
“You two back there?” Dustin called.
Billy squeezed Steve’s hand and took a deep breath.
“Here we go,” Steve whispered as he kissed Billy’s knuckles.
Everyone looked at them a little puzzled and a lot curious when they walked into the room
Billy caught Allison’s eyes. Her smile was wide, her face bright like the sun.
“We definitely weren’t told about the attire,” Lucas started. “If you’d had we’d—”
Max elbowed him to stop him. She looked at Billy, grinning. “I should’ve guessed,” she said, raising her hand over her mouth as tears pooled in her eyes.
Eddie was beaming. The only sign of his nerves was the fidgeting.
Billy chuckled. “You sure you’re up for this?”
Eddie exhaled loudly, his shoulders sagging. “Man, has it been difficult to keep the secret.” He glanced at Chrissy, who’d been sitting next to him. “I’m sorry I kept it from you, baby.”
She crossed her arms, but smiled. “We’re gonna talk about this at home.”
Eddie took a deep breath and nodded. “Billy, Steve. You stand here as two people who have chosen, held on, and built something that didn’t exist before.”
Billy tried to swallow the knot that immediately formed in his throat, tears forcing their way onto his cheeks. He hadn’t thought they’d fall the moment Eddie started talking.
Steve dug a tissue from his pocket and gave it to him.
A small gesture in the middle of this, showing Steve knew him so well and had prepared for it too—it only made Billy cry harder.
Steve rubbed Billy’s back with his hand. “Wanna take a moment?”
Billy shook his head. “No,” he sniffled. “Let’s do this.”
Steve looked over his shoulder. “Hey, Tom. Bring a box of tissues from the kitchen, would you? This is gonna be emotional.”
Billy jabbed Steve’s side with an elbow. “No, it’s not,” he muttered.
“Yes, it is. And I don’t want you to wipe your face on your sleeve. You hate it when I do that,” Steve joked.
It made Billy let out a laugh and relax a bit. He took Steve’s hand back into his, squeezing it.
Eddie continued, “You two built a home, fought to make a family despite all the obstacles that were thrown your way, and you chose each other again and again—for twenty-eight years. And now you’re here, choosing to seal it with marriage.” Eddie’s voice trembled, and his chin wobbled a little. “You may now say your vows.”
Steve went first. “Billy, William. I never imagined this day would come. We’ve had hardships that at the time felt overwhelming. But even when we had to fight for the adoptions and for the surrogates, through the hardest things, you never gave up. You were always there to lift me up and to support me. And not a day has gone by that I haven’t cherished it. We built a life together I never couldn’t have imagined, a family, a home. I laid my heart in your hands, and you never treated it wrong.” Steve grinned. “Well, okay, maybe at the beginning you might’ve given it a few bruises, but I’m willing to let that slide.”
Billy chuckled—and wiped tears on the sleeve of his shirt.
Steve continued. “I’ve tried my damnedest to be worthy of you every single day. I never want to come home to anyone else but you.”
Billy swallowed, having to dab his eyes again. He took a few deep breaths and looked Steve in the eye. “You shone a light into my darkness and showed me the way out. When I wanted to run away you told me I didn’t have to. You took the punches the world and I gave you, and yet you’re still here.” Billy grinned. “Should’ve known early on you weren’t too bright. ‘s good that you’re so pretty.”
It made everyone laugh—except Steve, who just raised an eyebrow, mock-offended. “You’re going somewhere with this?”
“Yes, I am.” Billy shoved him playfully. “Shut up, it’s my vow.” Billy took another deep breath before continuing. “You always made me feel safe. I never had to doubt you. With you, I have everything.”
For a moment, the only sounds in the room were sniffling and someone hiccuping. Lucas asked Tom to pass over the box of tissues.
Eddie had to pause to swallow too before he spoke. “You may exchange the rings.”
Steve took out the small velvet box from the pocket of his trousers and opened it.
Billy choked at the sight. On the tiny cushion sat a carved platinum ring, exactly the kind he had always wanted.
“You remembered,” he whispered.
Steve took Billy’s hand and slipped the ring on his ring finger. “Of course I did.”
“I now pronounce you husbands.”
Billy leaned forward to kiss Steve softly, hand at the back of Steve’s neck, his thumb brushing his jaw.
When they parted, Steve looked at Billy expectantly. “So, which one?”
Billy cackled. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
Steve wrapped his arm around Billy’s waist and pulled him close. “Which. One?” he whispered, demanding.
Billy grinned, letting the moment stretch, his tongue trapped between his teeth. When Steve growled and made a face, he finally relented, laughing. “Harrington. Never anything else,” he whispered.
Steve smiled. “Hi, Mr. Harrington,” he murmured.
“Hi, husband,” Billy purred.
Someone started applauding, and soon everyone joined.
Allison ran to Billy, clinging to his side. Soon the rest of the kids followed, forming a group hug.
After a good long while of sniffling and tight hugs with everyone, Steve finally said, “Okay, okay. Who wants to open presents?”