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“But he’s not a bachelor!” Mogari whined under his breath for the umpteenth time. “He’s my boyfriend!”
Zaki pinched his side. “Do you want to raise money for the club or not?” he demanded. “Your boyfriend also happens to be the most eligible guy in our grade. We would have to be fucking idiots not to take advantage of it.”
Eugene, for his part, was standing on the auditorium stage of their school, waving and smiling genially while the group that was running the bachelor auction talked him up. Mogari made a whimpering noise. “Look at him,” he said. “His heart’s just not in it. This is wrong. What have I done?!”
“British!” said the guy from Class C that was doing the announcement. “And ginger, like Prince Harry!”
Mogari grabbed Tamon’s arm and began to shake it. “I have to save him.”
“He looks okay to me,” Tamon said, probably trying to be comforting.
Zaki slapped his hand over Mogari’s mouth before Mogari could start wailing.
Mogari shoved him off. “He’s my prince!” he protested, and then made to stand up. Both Tamon and Zaki grabbed him, forcing him back into his seat.
“It’s just for fun, dude!” Tamon said. “Nobody’s actually going to steal him from you.”
“Also, we really need this money for the club,” Zaki said. “We’re broke.”
“Better to be rich in love than in money,” Mogari said, voice low and serious.
“What…?”
“Anyway, why did it have to be Koreshiki?!” Mogari continued. “Why not Tamon?!”
“No way!” Tamon said, looking horrified. “Why would you even say something like that?!”
Mogari started ticking points off on his fingers. “You’re tall, buff, good at cooking, good at singing —“
“He also vomits if anybody looks at him for too long,” Zaki said flatly.
“Top of his class and a certified genius prodigy!” the announcer howled. “Bid to win a dream date with Year 3 Class A’s very own Korekishi Eugene!”
The offers started low, typical amounts one would expect from a crowd of high schoolers who already knew that Eugene was in a relationship anyway. Despite this, Mogari was practically vibrating in his seat from stress.
Suddenly, a sharp clear voice rang out, offering triple the amount that the last girl had offered, and Mogari shot out of his seat. There was no stopping him this time. “You boyfriend-stealing witch!” he cried, whirling around to point dramatically at their student council president.
“Hmph!” Yotsuya tossed her head. “I’m simply participating in the school festivities, and supporting one of my friends. Is there a problem, Shishikuno?”
“Political corruption!” Mogari cried. “Abuse of power!”
“Um…?” the announcer said. “Do we have a counterbid, or…?”
“Yeah!” Mogari said. “Double her amount!”
“Mogari!” Eugene yelled from across the room. His cool, amiable appearance was gone. He had buried his hands in his hair in his despair and some of it was beginning to escape from the various pins and hair ties he used to keep it in place. “We don’t have the money for that! Do you have any idea how expensive it is to fund all our club activities?!”
Mogari wilted a little, then whipped back around to look at Yotsuya.
She stared back at him, face cold.
Mogari’s mouth opened, then closed again, and then he made a strange expression like the cross between a sneeze and grimace.
She raised a single eyebrow.
“H-hey, Yotsuya, aren’t you going to keep bidding…?” he finally asked weakly.
She shrugged, looking at her nails. “I don’t know,” she said, off-handedly. “I just wanted to support one of the school’s clubs, but if the president of said club doesn’t want me to, then I guess not.”
“No,” Mogari choked out. “We… we definitely want your support.”
“Really?”
“… Yeah.”
“Well…”
The whole room seemed to hold its breath for a second.
“If you insist, I suppose,” Yotsuya said, standing up and dusting off her skirt. She raised her hand. “I’ll bid one more yen than the last bid!”
“Alright!” the announcer guy yelled out. “Going once, going twice…? A date for the lady, sold!”
Mogari collapsed in his seat, an expression of numb hopelessness crashing over his face. Tamon patted his arm consolingly. “There, there,” Tamon said. “She’s not actually going to steal Koreshiki away from you, Mogari. Yotsuya-san doesn’t even like boys like that.”
Mogari shook his head. “It’s about more than that,” he said, eyes distant. “It’s about pride… dignity… I’ve been publicly humiliated. I wasn’t able to defend Koreshiki’s honor!”
Zaki shoulder checked him. Comfortingly. “You got her to basically double her bid. That’s pretty awesome.”
That seemed to bring a little light back into Mogari’s eyes. “Huh…?” he said. “You think I’m awesome? Aww, Zaki!”
“Not what I said.”
“No take backs!”