Work Text:
Hi, this is Ilya, I will never listen to your voicemail. [Bip]
You have (1) new message
March 2011, Boston
14/03/2011, 10:01 p.m.
“This is- This is Jane. I swear to god if you don’t open the door right now, I’m leaving. I’m not staying in the streets waiting at your front door, you asshole. Do you think it’s fun? Because I don’t- [Sound of a door creaking open] Ah, hey-” [Call disconnected]
July 2011, Ottawa
02/07/2011, 08:36 p.m.
“Uh… Hi. I know it must be early in Russia, sorry if I’m bothering you. I wasn’t sure if you saw my message, so I just wanted to wish you a good summer. I felt bad that I didn’t answer you, you know… In Vegas. See you next season, Rozanov. Bye.” [Call disconnected]
February 2013, Montreal
21/02/2013, 07:22 p.m.
“[Groaning] You can’t just… Stop answering in the middle of sexting, what the fuck? What the fuck happened? I- I need… [Ding] Ah, wait- 'I’m on team bus.' What- what do you mean you’re on the team bus? Are you kidding me? Why the fuck are you sexting while you’re on the bus with your team? Are you crazy? Wait, let me type that. ‘a r e y o u-’” [Call disconnected]
February 2014, Sochi
15/02/2014, 05:41 p.m.
“Hey, uh, just wanted to say sorry for your loss against Latvia today. It sucks. You were good but…Yeah. It’s too bad. Hope you’re having fun being in Russia, at least. Ok, huh… That’s it. Sorry for calling, I guess I just felt like… Nevermind. Bye.” [Call disconnected]
16/02/2014, 09:24 p.m.
“Hi. You haven’t answered my text so I just wanted to check in, or something. See how you’re doing. Text me or call back when you can, I guess. Bye.” [Call disconnected]
February 2014, Montreal
30/02/2014, 11:32 a.m.
“Hi. You’re probably busy, but if you could… I mean, I don’t know, did I do something wrong? Or you’re ignoring me for fun? We’re playing each other next week, anyway, so I'll see you then. …Hope you’re doing fine. Bye.” [Call disconnected]
March 2014, Montreal
08/03/2014, 11:45 p.m.
“Ok, well. I’m done trying to reach out. Whatever, I don’t know why you’re not answering anything, but go fuck yourself. Bye.” [Call disconnected]
June 2014, Montreal
13/06/2014, 08:59 p.m.
“Just wanted to congratulate you on the win. We’re still beating your ass next year, so don’t get too attached to the Cup. See you at the NHL Awards.” [Call disconnected]
June 2014, Las Vegas
15/06/2014, 06:25 p.m.
“God, why do you even have a phone if you never answer? Do you really never listen to voicemails? You’re so fucking unprofessional. [unintelligible voices in the background] Sorry, sorry. I’ll, uh, keep it down. [Sigh] Nevermind. None of this matters. Where are you? We need to be on the stage in 15 minutes. If you’re not here in 5, I’m going to murder you.” [Call disconnected]
16/06/2014, 01:46 a.m.
“Rozanov. You- [shuddered breath] You know what? I hated your vodka and… And we didn’t even… God. Fuck. This can’t keep going on. We’re done, I can’t… We need to stop this. I’ll just see you next season, on the ice.” [Call disconnected]
October 2015, Montreal
03/10/2015, 01:11 p.m.
“Uh…Hi. Just wanted to check if we’re still good for tonight. Did you get the number I sent you? I’ll just text again, since you’re allergic to voicemails. Bye. See you then.” [Call disconnected]
April 2016, Boston
28/04/2016, 05:37 p.m.
“[A mix of chaotic voices, chanting in unison] LET'S END RO-ZA-NOV! BOS-TON IN THE TRASH! LET'S END RO-ZA-NOV! BOS-TON IN THE TRASH! LET'S END RO-ZA-NOV! BOS-TON IN THE- [Footsteps getting further away from the noise, and a door closing] Thought you would enjoy the pre-game chant. See you on the ice.” [Call disconnected]
August 2016, Mexico
17/08/2016, 02:01 a.m.
“[Long silence] I don’t even know why I’m calling. I just hooked up with a guy whose name I don’t know, and I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Isn’t this so fucked? Not like you’ll ever know, with your stupid phone habits. [Silence] I’m scared that you really ruined me for anyone else. I’m scared that I don’t know if I even mind that too much.” [More silence, before the call disconnects]
November 2016, Boston
04/11/2016, 11:56 a.m.
“Did you- did you reject my call immediately? Listen I… I’m really sorry for leaving like this yesterday. It’s just, it’s getting too much, no? For me, at least. Maybe it would be best if we keep our distance and just play hockey, yeah? See you next game, Rozanov. [A pause] Thank you for the tuna melt and the ginger ale.” [Call disconnected]
January 2017, Tampa Bay
12/01/2017, 09:45 a.m.
“Hello, this is Shane Hollander. I was just calling to remind you that practice this afternoon was changed to mandatory, so, be sure to get there. And be on time. See you then, Rozanov.” [Call disconnected]
12/01/2017, 10:13 a.m.
“Hey again. Vaughan asked me to let you know about practice and I couldn’t really open our text thread and message you in front of him, so... Anyway, I also wanted to ask if we’re still good for tonight? Your room or mine? Just answer my text and let me know. Bye. And really, be on time this afternoon.” [Call disconnected]
12/01/2017, 08:03 p.m.
“[Silence] I’m gay. Ilya, I’m gay. I don’t hate you, and I’m gay. And I like you, maybe a lot more than I should. [Silence] This is stupid. I’ll see you in a bit.” [Call disconnected]
February 2017, Montreal
09/02/2017, 09:55 p.m.
“Hey! How are you? It’s been a while! [Silence] …Yeah, I’m doing great too! [Silence] …Oh, really? Oh my god, I’ll come meet you right now- no, no you’re not bothering me at all, I’ll come right away, just need to say bye to a few people here. See you in a bit!” [Call disconnected]
09/02/2017, 10:02 p.m.
“Uh, hi. Sorry about that last voicemail. You don’t listen to them anyway so it doesn’t matter but I needed a phone call excuse to get out of this bar so thanks, I guess. I don't even think I was really convincing, I've never done that before but everything here was getting... Too much. Anyway, yeah, looking forward to seeing you next month. Bye.” [Call disconnected]
March 2017, Detroit
14/03/2017, 09:25 p.m.
“Hey. You might’ve seen my message already but I heard that you weren't going to Nashville with your team, so I wanted to see if everything was alright. Please call back when you can.” [Call disconnected]
16/03/2017, 09:07 a.m.
“Hi, I just wanted to check how things were doing here. Again, if you need someone to talk more, I’ll be there. Talk to you soon. Um… пока. Bye. I wasn't kidding about wanting to learn Russian, so, you better come back here soon.” [Call disconnected]
April 2017, New York
02/04/2017, 06:30 p.m.
“Hey, I just saw that I missed your call earlier. So- [Sound of a door opening, and a voice booming in the background] Is it Lily? Wait, please let me talk to her! [Noises of two people wrestling] No, Hayden, fuck off right now. [More noises of the phone moving around] Hey, it is Lily! Hi, I'm Shane's best friend, so nice to finally sort of meet you! I’ve been wanting to talk to you for ages! [A pause] …Hello? [Silence] Hayden I swear to God I'm going to-” [More wrestling noises, call disconnected]
April 2017, Montreal
30/04/2017, 09:42 a.m.
“Lily! Ilya! [Sound of the phone being shaken a little bit] Hey. Ilya. I’m still in the hospital but I’m doing grrreat so, please don’t worry. Just, uh, a concussion and fractured collarbone. No playoffs for me but- but yeah. Could have been worse, you know? [Mumbling sounds in the distance] So, that’s about it. [A pause] Hey. Hey! I miss you. Can’t wait to see you and suck y-” [Call disconnected]
30/04/2017, 10:11 a.m.
“Hello… Ilya Rozanov, right? This is Yuna, Shane’s mother. Shane isn’t allowed to look directly at any screen because of the concussion, but he was really insistent on contacting this ‘Lily’ on his phone so I was… holding the phone for him. [Shane’s whining voice can be heard in the background] I, um, didn’t think it would lead to a private conversation like this. If you’re still in the area, you should come visit him, yeah? I’ll text you the hospital's address from his phone. We could talk more then. [A pause] It will be alright, I promise.” [Call disconnected]
May 2017, Ottawa
27/05/2017, 03:04 p.m.
“Seriously, why is it so hard to get a hold of you on the phone? I just figured you’d have more free time since Boston is done for the year. Again, sorry about that. I’ll just call back later to like… talk? If you want to. I’m still at my parent’s so, yeah, just talk. I just miss seeing people other than my mom and dad and I… Miss you, honestly. Hope your ribs are doing better.” [Call disconnected]
June 2017, Ottawa
12/06/2017, 07:31 a.m.
“Hi. I just wanted you to confirm again that you’re coming to the cottage with me? It just feels… Surreal, I guess. I’ll just text you. I don’t know why I keep leaving voicemails. Bye. See you soon.” [Call disconnected]
July 2017, Ottawa
09/07/2017, 04:25 p.m.
“Um, I see that your flight landed a while ago now and then you stop responding to anything and it’s not like I’m stressed about you running off but if you could answer that would be great. It’s going to be great, yeah? …Can’t wait to see you.” [Call disconnected]
13/07/2017, 05:03 p.m.
“Hey, so, just wondering where you went? Is everything fine? It’s been like 3 hours since you said you were going to get butter at my parent’s. Wish you would stop disappearing like that if you never check your phone afterwards. Call me back. [A pause] Love you.” [Call disconnected]
13/07/2017, 05:09 p.m.
“Hi again, sorry for the back-to-back voicemails that you don’t care about but Mom just sent me a pic of you hunched over a puzzle with Dad and I feel like I need a record of this to exist forever somewhere. Wow. Why am I not invited to the family gathering? I’ll be there in a bit.” [Call disconnected]
October 2017, Toronto
20/10/2017, 09:39 p.m.
“Hate how busy we both are. I miss you. Waking up alone is like torture. I can’t wait for you to be in Ottawa. I feel… So much happier when you’re close to me so, yeah, obviously. And it’s so- [Phone ringing] Ah, you’re calling back. Wait-” [Call disconnected]
January 2018, Montreal
18/01/2018, 08:52 a.m.
“Oh hello handsome, is me Shane Hollander. You are just so hot and sexy and also the best player in the NHL, I could not stop myself from drooling just thinking about it. Is very embarrassing for me, and very obvious [Noises of footsteps getting closer] Ilya. What are you doing with my phone?
- Leaving myself a message. Need to leave a… Trace? Yes? That you are so very in love with me.
- What? You’re sending yourself a voicemail? You don’t check them like, ever.
- [A pause] I do when is from you.
- [Another pause] Wha- What do you mean you do? Since when? You told me you didn’t! Multiple times!
- I like your voice, Hollander. Is also very embarrassing for me, how very in love I am.
- You- No- That doesn’t answer the question! I’ve sent so many of these over the years- Don’t fucking smile right now, oh my God! Give me back my phone! [Noises of laughter, and some wrestling for the phone]” [Call disconnected]
February 2018, Montreal
03/02/2018, 08:13 p.m.
“Hey. So, like, would you like it if I just started jerking off now so that you can listen to the voicemail again and again? I guess you’ll let me know, since you apparently listen to them all. Anyway, call me back, I wanted to see if you needed me to buy some groceries or something before tomorrow. Love you.” [Call disconnected]