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Single life didn’t suit Taehyung. He’d been in and out of relationships since he was sixteen and he had been old enough to sneak out behind his parents’ backs when he wanted to see one of the boys he was liking. If he hadn’t been dating someone he would have been sleeping with someone and he liked it that way.
Perhaps it wasn’t that the single life didn’t suit him, it was that being alone didn’t suit him.
But this time he didn’t have a backup. There wasn’t someone on speed dial that he could call and set up a hookup or a date with. All of those numbers had disappeared a year earlier when he’d decided he was in the relationship to end all relationships. Jeon Jungkook had been the person he’d assumed he would– and planned to – spend the rest of his life with. That hadn’t been something both parties wanted though, and it was the sort of thing that needed to be agreed upon.
“Taehyungie will be staying here for a little while.” The voice was muffled as it spoke, but he knew what was happening. Seokjin was trying to be discrete about the situation while Taehyung was in the room, but he knew the second he went to bed the elder male was going to disclose everything to the other resident of the house. Seokjin shared everything with Namjoon, no matter what threats of death were made. Secrets don’t belong in relationships. That was what he’d told them, but secrets seemed to have plenty of space.
As if to agree with the statement Taehyung lifted his backpack up off of the ground slightly. Like he was showing the bag to say it would only be a day or two, when in reality he didn’t know how long he’d have to stay at his friends’ home. He didn’t have anywhere to go, and it wasn’t as though he was in a field of employment that paid well. Jungkook would be fine without his half of the rent, but Taehyung had no hope of getting something even a fraction as nice without finding another roommate who would consider a quarter of the rent enough to cover his half.
After what seemed like a few minutes he heard Namjoon hum in agreement. “He’s always welcome here.” Too generous. His friends were too generous. He sighed softly and nodded his head, not wanting to appear rude.
“I’m going to bed.” It wasn’t polite, probably. But it had been a long day. They would understand. With a nod he turned and walked towards the guest room. He didn’t need a tour. Or the pity.
If nothing else living with his friends would prevent him from making any poor choices involving men.
He walked into the small room, glancing at the bed. Sometimes there were sheets and this happened to be one of the times that there weren’t any sheets on the bed. He’d be fine though. It was a little bit warm in the townhome anyway. Dropping his things to the floor Taehyung fell face first onto the bed. Soon enough he’d hear Seokjin explaining what had happened and he hoped he would be asleep before he heard too much.
As he pressed his face deeper into the mattress he heard Seokjin and Namjoon moving around the living room. They were trying to be discrete, at least he could hand them that. Even if they failed completely. “I went to visit the kids today.” And so it started, he thought, frowning as he wished for death to come quickly so he wouldn’t have to deal with any of the repercussions of what had happened. “They broke up.”
Maybe secrets did have a place. Even if they were other people’s secrets.
***
Death didn’t take him. That was the first thing he realized when the sun hit his face the next morning. At some point in his sleep he must have decided that death wasn’t the right course of action so he’d rolled over and decided to live. The second thing he realized was that he was sleeping in Seokjin’s guestroom, and by default that meant that he actually had become single the evening before. Even if those words had never been spoken between himself and Jungkook.
He was a bright kid, he would figure it out when Taehyung never came back. Talking wasn’t really Taehyung’s strong point. Especially not when it came to traumatic emotional bullshit. Breaking up with a cheating boyfriend was too far out of his emotional wheelhouse for him to even pretend to handle in an adult manner. Instead he’d write a song about it and play it at some seedy club and act like it was all handled. For a while, though, he would laze around the townhome and act like he was still a kid that needed to be taken care of by his only friends. Like he had since he was sixteen and pretending to be old enough to hang out with people in their late twenties.
“Do you want breakfast? Joon and I are going out to get some.”
The answer was no. He didn’t really want breakfast, but that didn’t mean he was going to turn it down. Things weren’t really about what he wanted. It was about what the right thing to do was. And the right thing was going to breakfast with his friends – now roommates – and acting like his life hadn’t hit rock bottom. “Let me wash up.” He pushed himself up off of the bed, nearly rolling off of it entirely before he caught himself and stuck his legs out just in time to stand up. “I’ll be ready in a few minutes.”
Sighing he walked to the bathroom. He looked terrible. Bags under his eyes, unwashed hair, and rumpled clothing. The look of a single man. Without any care he turned on the faucet and splashed his face with water. It wouldn’t help but at least he could pretend. Pretending was the only way to get through the day. God he sounded angsty inside of his own head, hadn’t he grown out of that stage years ago?
After splashing his face a second time he turned off the water and stared into the mirror. Something had gone wrong, but thinking about it wasn’t going to fix it. “I’m coming.” He called out, drying his face with the bottom of his shirt before walking out of the room. They were just eating breakfast he didn’t need to look pretty. “Let’s go.” He didn’t get the other two a chance to finish their conversation. They could finish it in the car, Taehyung wouldn’t feel up to talking.
As soon as Seokjin looked over at him he could tell the other wanted to say something about his appearance, but stopped himself. That was a real sign of pity if he’d ever seen one. “We’re going to walk there.” Was all he said instead of offering Taehyung something clean and dry to wear. “It’s pretty close.”
He shrugged his shoulders and that time Namjoon was the one wanting to say something and thinking better of it. Maybe Seokjin had told him more when they were in bed, or perhaps he just felt bad that Taehyung was single. Either way it was uncomfortable. “Did he tell you what happened?” He asked, glancing at Namjoon, just to see what he would say. When he got no response he frowned and headed towards the front door. “He slept with his friend from school. The dancer. Must’ve thought I was out, but I was just in my studio and I heard everything.”