Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Hi, we’re—”

“Oikawa Tooru as Aoyama Nao,”

“And Kageyama Tobio as Mafuyu Yuto,”

“—from the BL movie ‘Something To Give Each Other’,”

“And we’re about to take Vanity Fair’s Lie Detector Test,” they say in unison.

(insert title transition) Oikawa Tooru & Kageyama Tobio Take The Lie Detector Test.

“We’ve brought you here today to take a lie detector test. One of you will be hooked up to the machine, while the other will ask the questions, and then you’ll switch. My name is Vi. I will be your polygraph operator.”

“Nice to meet you,” Tobio greets with his usual polite bow.

“Hello Vi,” Tooru smiles at her, “-and everyone watching too!” he waves his fingers at the camera. “Please be nice to me, I'm sensitive.”

“Don’t be nice to me, spit in my mouth.”

Tooru turns to the younger actor, eyes comically wide in horror. “Tobio-chan?!”

“What? I’m just joking,” Tobio replies, completely unbothered. 

Tooru knew that his PR always had a hard time dealing with all the spontaneous—honest or otherwise—bullshit Tobio spewed during any promotional event, but he’s been getting more and more comfortable saying whatever since being paired with the brunette. 

For someone known for being terrible at communicating his feelings, Tobio could be quite expressive in the most adorable, annoying, or, in this case, hilarious ways.

“Who wants to be in the hot seat first?”

“Tobio-chan,” Tooru answers instantly, smirking at his co-star before directing it to the camera. “Since you look so sure of yourself,” he adds.

Tobio remains unfazed—he looks too tired to fight back. Must be the fact that they’ve been up since 4 am for all the promotional shoots lined up for the day.

“Wait, is that the lying seat or?”

“It’s the truth seat, Tobio-chan,” Tooru giggles.

“Oh, right, sorry—” the ravenette’s ears turn red.

He’s then directed to the seat, and the polygraph machine is set up. The respiration sensor goes around his chest like a band, then a blood pressure cuff on his upper right arm, and lastly, the EDA sensors are attached to his fingers.

“Alrighty, Tobio-chan. I’m gonna ask a few questions to calibrate the machine.” Tooru announces from his seat across Tobio, shuffling the papers in his hand to put them in the correct order. “Is your real, full name, Kageyama Tobio?”

“I just say yes or no?” the ravenette asks, looking between Vi and Tooru.

“Yeah, I mean, you can expand on your answer if it’s necessary, but— what would you even reply to this question aside from yes or no?” Tooru sounds a little exasperated, chuckling light-heartedly.

“Okay, fine. Yes. Is that the truth?” He turns to the polygraph operator again.

“It’s still calibrating.” She responds politely.

“Is that not the truth, Tobio-chan? Do you have another name?” Tooru asks jokingly, a smirk playing on the corner of his lips.

“No.”

“Okay. Were you born on 22nd December?”

“Yes.”

“Are you about to take a lie detector test?”

“Uh, yes?”

“Are you nervous?”

“No.”

“Oh?” Tooru raises an eyebrow in amusement. He runs a hand down his silky, bronze button-up as Vi tells them that the machine has been calibrated. 

Tobio’s wearing his usual streetstyle baggy black sweatshirt over a white button-up and ripped jeans, but Tooru’s known for his old money fashion. It’s a little funny to think that the characters they play in the movie also have their dressing styles, which works in their favour during all the PR events.

(insert heading one transition) Kageyama Tobio Tells The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth.

“Should I start with the first question?”

“Yes. Go ahead,” Vi smiles warmly.

“Okay, so. Tobio-chan.” Tooru starts in a serious tone.

“Yes?” Tobio already sounds bored. Thankfully, they’ll get to go home for lunch break after this.

“Is it true that when you were little, your older sister used to dress you up as a little girl?”

“Uh, yes.”

They both look at the Vi. “Truthful,”

“I mean, I didn’t need the lie detector to tell me that—I already knew,” Tooru says.

“Yeah, you’ve seen the embarrassing photos,” Tobio pouts, huffing.

“I wouldn’t call them embarrassing. You looked adorable,” the brunette coos. “Anyways, next question. In the film, we play the roles of two gay characters who are already dating each other. Did you, during any scene, have trouble forming chemistry with me due to our past rivalry?”

“Is that really a question, or are you making it up?”

“No! It is a question! Why would I make it up?”

“Okay, well, no. I don’t think I had any problems on screen with you.”

“Good, cause I didn't either. We’re professional like that,” Tooru smiles charmingly at the camera as Tobio nods in agreement. “Also, don’t think that the rivalry is in the past just because we’re working on the same project this time,” the brunette continues, narrowing his eyes across the table.

“Yes,” Tobio responds easily. “I still find you plenty annoying at times,”

“Hey! I’m a pleasure to be around! Tell them you’re lying, Tobio-chan!”

“He’s being truthful,” 

Tooru gasps, as the first signs of amusement filter into Tobio’s rather nonchalant expression.

“I take back what I said about you being adorable. You’re the most un-cute person I’ve ever met—” 

“That’s not even a word,” Tobio mutters with an almost smile.

“—Anyways. Who do you think is the best looking among our cast?” he asks impromptu, despite it not being on the paper.

Yes, this is where Tobio sputters, where he tries to say someone else’s name aside from Tooru and gets caught in the lie— 

”You are,” Tobio says without missing a beat.

“Truthful,” Vi confirms.

Tooru should’ve known that this brat was as honest as they come. 

“The worst part about Tobio doing the lie detector test is that he’s too honest. There’s nothing he’s going to have to lie about.”

“That’s not true, I’m sure there are plenty of things I could get caught lying about.” 

“Oh? Is that so?” Gotcha. “And what might those things be?”

“I don’t know, what if you ask me if I’ve ever stolen something from you and I say no because I don’t have any memory of it, but it turns out to be a lie?”

“But this isn’t about what is or isn’t actually true; this is about whether it’s true for you or not.”

“But then wouldn’t I be lying if I did steal something and said no because I can’t recall?”

“No? Because then you would believe it to be true, that you haven’t stolen anything—” 

“Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, that’s how this would work—” Tooru sighs in frustration as Tobio’s eyes widen in understanding. 

“Okay, continue, you’re just stupid,” Tooru laughs, but before he can read the next question, a thought crosses his mind. “Wait. Have you ever stolen something from me?”

“Yes,”

“WHAT?” Tooru looks at the polygraph operator in equal parts amusement and shock.

“He’s telling the truth,” Vi’s lips twitch up in amusement.

“Oh my god, what? When?” Tooru asks over Tobio’s muffled laughter.

“I don’t know, it’s happened a few times—”

“A FEW TIMES?” The brunette’s jaw drops, and he’s not looking at the camera because he’s busy staring at his co-star, completely dumbfounded. Tobio’s still laughing, though, hiding his smile behind his fist.

“Yeah,” he manages to reply between chuckles with a smug smile.

“Don’t sound so proud of yourself, you sneaky cat! Is everything he’s saying true?”

Vi simply nods in affirmation.

“Wow, oh my god. Didn’t take you for a thief, Tobio-chan,”

“Well, now you know. Stealing hearts on screen isn’t the only thing I’m good at,” 

Tooru looks at him with a deadpan expression, because Tobio isn’t saying the line flirtily or with some dramatic flourish the way Tooru would deliver it. He’s saying it as if it’s a fact.

“Truthful,”

Tooru bursts into a laugh, sparing a glance at Vi, who seems to be enjoying her job just as much. Tobio looks between the two of them in mildly concealed confusion, like the clueless culprit of chaos that he is.

“Okay, whatever. Next question. Who was the hardest person to work with on set, and who was the easiest person to work with during the filming of the movie?”

Tobio doesn’t take too long to answer. “Easiest to work with was Sakusa-san—he’s a very adaptable and experienced actor, a man of few words, but he’s very straightforward like me, so it was easy to discuss and act out the scenes with him. He gives really good input, too.”

“Yeah, I agree. Everyone loves working with Sakusa because he’s very chill. As long as you follow his cleanliness rules, that is.” Tooru adds with a nod to the camera.

“As for who was the hardest to work with…I don’t think anyone really gave me a hard time, really. Everyone was fun to work with.”

“Still, though, if you had to choose?”

“...then I’d probably say you—”

“Me?” Tooru’s voice cracks from the disbelief. He was so sure Tobio would say Atsumu.

“I mean, it’s not you, it’s me. Everyone knows you’re the kind of actor that brings out the best performance of your co-stars, but I find it hard to understand your cryptic words sometimes.”

“Ah, that’s what you meant. I guess that’s true,” one look at Vi confirms his belief as she nods in agreement. “And well, you just said earlier that you didn’t have any difficulty in on-screen chemistry, so I’m gonna take this as a compliment too,”

“Okay,” Tobio acquiesces with a nod.

“Oh, the next question perfectly follows up on what you said just now. You said in a recent interview that ‘Oikawa-san has always been my goal’. Does that mean that I am your role model in acting?”

“Yes,”

“Truthful,”

“Aww, that’s very sweet of you, Tobio-chan,” Tooru has to try his damn hardest to stop the color from rushing into his cheeks. He remembers reading the interview transcript when it was publicly released by the press, remembers running into the living room to attack a dumbfounded Tobio lounging on the couch and showering his face with butterfly kisses.

Not that the world needed to know any of this.

“Okay. Moving on. Before you were famous, you used to live with Hinata Shoyo, Bokuto Koutaro, Ushijima Wakatoshi, and Hoshiumi Korai. Were they all good roommates?”

“Umm, no.” Tobio has very little care for feeling guilty about his honesty, but this time, he does look a little embarrassed as he confesses.

“Truthful.”

“I mean, Ushijima-san is a really good roommate, he’s clean and respectful of everyone’s space. But I wasn’t assigned to his room; I was paired with Hinata, who is literally a human megaphone. I swear, I’m so sure he can’t speak at a normal volume.”

Tooru doesn't try to hide the fond smile from the camera as he watches Tobio talk. The ravenette was already bored and tired when they arrived—it was getting close to his afternoon nap time—so seeing him get more and more into the interview (considering how much Tobio hated having a mic in his face) with every question made his heart feel at ease.

“But then Bokuto-san and Hoshiumi-san are loud people too, and they all slept together, so the house was always very lively. Never a dull moment with them, but me and Ushijima-san would find a quiet corner now and then when the other three were out and busy,”

“Wait, did you say they lived together or slept together?”

“Slept together, it was a two-bedroom apartment, so Ushijima-san, Bokuto-san, and Hoshiumi-san slept in one bedroom, while Hinata and I took the smaller one.”

“Oh my god, they did all sleep together! How did they even fit in one room? Two of them are giants!” Tooru adds jokingly. “Who’s the worst actor of that bunch?”

At that, Tobio seems to stutter, and Tooru notices the way his eyes look around nervously as he contemplates lying. “I don’t know. No one comes to mind.”

Tooru looks at Vi, who has an amused crease in her brow. “Inconclusive,”

“Oh-ho! So you do have a name in mind!” Tooru says at the same time as Tobio asks, “What does that even mean?”

“It means that the polygraph is unable to tell if you’re telling the truth or lying,” she explains.

“So I beat the system?” Tobio asks, arching an eyebrow in Tooru’s direction.

“This isn’t a game you can beat, Tobio-chan.”

“Can too,” the ravenette argues, turning his nose up and crossing his arms over his chest as he relaxes back into his chair.

“No, you can’t, so tell us—whose name did you have in mind?”

“I’m not telling you,”

“Oh come on! I’m sure none of them would take offense if you say their name, they’ve all got a good rep in the industry!”

“Hinata,” the reply comes too quickly.

“That’s a lie,” Vi confirms for him, but Tooru had seen him grit his teeth and instantly known that the answer was forced.

Tobio groans in embarrassment, putting his head down on the table. “Don’t show him this, I’ll never hear the end of it—”

“—This video’s going public, Tobio-chan. He’s going to see it whether you like it or not.”

Tooru simply smirks at him from across the table, brown eyes barely concealing his fondness. It’s his favorite pastime after all, watching his precious Tobio squirm. 

“Ugh, fine. I was just thinking about Bokuto-san, not because he’s a bad actor or anything, but Akaashi-san, his manager, told me once that Bokuto-san’s mood swings make it a bit difficult to work with him, because they have to plan the shoot schedule around his moods. That doesn’t mean he’s a worse actor than any of the others, though.”

Tooru nods in understanding. “Okay, that’s not a bad answer at all. Speaking of your ex-roommates, is this person your best friend?”

(Picture: Ushijima Wakatoshi)

“Yes, I guess.”

“Are you jealous that he has two Oscars and you only have one?”

“No,”

“Deceptive,”

Tooru stares at Tobio in mock-surprise.

Tobio frowns as he tries to explain. “I mean, I’m not jealous of his specific Oscar, I wouldn’t want to just take it for myself, but of course I want another one,”

Tooru nods in understanding and doesn’t feel the need to reaffirm with the Vi to see if it’s true (because he knows it is). “Do you judge me because I have none?”

“What? No!”

Tooru does turn to her this time. She nods in reply, “He’s telling the truth.”

“You literally deserve so many Oscars, I don’t understand how you don’t have one yet.”

Tooru lowers his eyes to the papers, pretending to read the next question as he bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from blushing for the second time today.

“I don’t know either,” he mutters under his breath disappointedly before returning to his chirpy demeanor. “Anyways, is Ushijima a better friend than this person?”

(Picture: Hinata Shoyo) 

“Uhm, I don’t know. Hinata’s been my friend longer than Ushijima-san. Plus, he lives closer, so I guess he’s a geographically closer friend. I can’t say one of them is a better friend than the other, though.”

“In 2019, you and Hinata crashed a gay bar, where, according to onlookers, you tackled him during a drinking game. Is that true?”

Tobio waves a hand dismissively. “Pffsh, No.”

“Everything’s truthful so far,”

“What? Really?”

“Why do you sound so surprised?” Tooru wonders.

“Because I just lied.” Tobio answers, eyes wide in shock. “I don’t have any memory of it, but everyone told me later that I did tackle him to the ground because he was being annoying.”

Tooru gasps exasperatedly. “Well, you’re not supposed to tell everyone that you lied! Why would you even lie about that?”

The ravenette shrugs. “Just to feel something,”

“To feel like you’ve won, you mean?” Tooru guesses correctly, laughing through his amused smile. “And the lie detector didn’t even pick up on it?”

Vi shakes her head to confirm.

“Wow, Tobio-chan, maybe you did beat the system,” he says, chuckling. “Oh, was that on your birthday?” the brunette asks, bringing them back to the questions.

“Yes,”

Tooru arches an eyebrow at that. “Did you actually do 11 shots with Atsumu that day?”

“No,”

Vi’s brows pinch in confusion. “Inconclusive,”

“I don’t remember how many shots I did, I just know it was too many.”

The brunette hadn’t been able to make it to the party back then, too busy shooting for some film in another country. But now he’s feeling annoyed that he didn’t go.

“Why would you do that? You’re a lightweight, and you’re a clingy drunk too—” 

“That has nothing to do with the question, though—”

“—Atsumu must be a bad influence; you should stop hanging out with him,” Tooru complains.

“Well, so are you—”

“I’m not?” Tooru laughs. “That’s a lie, Tobio-chan. I don’t need the polygraph test to confirm it for me.”

“Oh really?” Tobio turns to Vi inquisitively.

“He’s telling the truth,”

“You know what. I’m glad I missed your birthday then.”

Tobio stares at him offendedly, lips gaping like a fish. “Wow, you’re so petty,”

“What was that? Did you just call me pretty? Thanks, Tobio-chan. I know,”

The ravenette just laughs at his act. “Yeah, you’re so pretty it’s making you forget your A-B-Cs,”

“How much is this?” Tooru does peace signs with both of his hands.

“Four,”

“Nope,”

“Two Twos?”

“No! Look closer!”

Tobio actually leans close, and Tooru brings his hands closer to his face, giving the cameras his signature wink pose with his tongue peaking between thin pink lips. “It spells C-U-T-E,”

Tobio snickers in annoyance, but he’s smiling. “Shut up, that made no sense—”

“You’ve forgotten your A-B-Cs because of my charm. It’s okay, many hath fallen at the hands of my beauty. Anyways, ready for the next question?”

Tobio nods, settling in his chair comfortably again.

“You’ve been spotted courtside at several volleyball games. Do you think you’ve ever distracted the players with your piercing blue eyes?” Tooru can’t help the dopey smile that takes his lips hostage at that question.

Tobio huffs a laugh as well, “Probably,”

“Say yes or no!”

“Fine, yes. Whatever,” the ravenette visibly blushes.

“Truthful?” Tooru asks Vi, who nods in return. “ Hmm. Can’t blame you, you’d distract me with your eyes too if I were playing.”

“Are you flirting with me now?” Tobio asks with a lazy smirk. 

“What? No! That’s not how I meant it—you know what, I take it back. I would do the best sets while staring straight into your soul,” Tooru retorts petulantly, turning his nose up. Tobio seems to be getting too comfortable in taking a dig at Tooru whenever he can. Tooru rethinks his decision to go easy on the younger and decides that he should be grilling him more.

“Pffsh, yeah sure,” the ravenette turns his gaze down in a dismissive gesture, but there’s a dusting of pink on his cheeks now that Tooru can see from his position. He wonders if the camera will catch it too, under the moody lighting of the room. Probably not.

“You don’t believe me?” Tooru arches a brow at him.

“No, I believe you.” Tobio faces him as he answers, his face betraying no emotion.

“Is he lying?” the brunette narrows his eyes at Vi.

“He’s being truthful,”

“Huh,” Tooru has to take a deep breath to stop himself from doing something stupid—like reaching across the table and either pinching Tobio’s cheeks while giving him an earful for playing with Tooru’s emotions like this or simply kissing him senseless. 

Or just doing both. Both is good too.

Unfortunately, he can do neither until they are in the safety of their shared apartment.

“Alright, Tobio-chan. Let’s move on to the next question. You said in one interview that this person—”

(Picture: Sugawara Koushi)

“—was your senior at the acting school you attended, and that he is present at all your movie premieres without fail, even coming to the set during shooting if he has time. Does that mean you both are really close in real life?”

“Um, yeah. Suga-san is like family to me at this point.”

“True, Suga-chan is such a refreshing person, both on and off-screen. And a good senior too, yes?” Tooru knows damn well that the smile plastered on his face is fake, but his voice lilts in that playful way that no one would suspect the turmoil raging a tempest in his chest.

“Yes,” Tobio answers, oblivious to Tooru’s distress.

“Didn’t he once tell you to thank him for everything you’ve learned as an actor? And you did it too, during the same interview, I believe,” Tooru continues, unaware of his own slip-up.

“Did he? I remember thanking him in some interview, but I don’t recall him asking me to do that…” The ravenette’s eyes narrow at Tooru like he’s searching for something.

“Okay, then let me ask you this. Would you say yes to doing anything he asks you to?”

“Um, maybe? Sure, why not?”

“What if he asked you to rob a bank?”

“I would probably say yes,” Tobio answers with a teasing grin.

Tooru turns to Vi. “Truthful,”

“Wow, Tobio-chan, so you really are a little kleptomaniac. First stealing my stuff and now robbing a bank?” The brunette huffs in mild annoyance. “Would you at least take me as your accomplice?”

“No.”

“WHAT? Why not?” Tooru almost whines, but quickly covers it up with a forced laugh.

“Because you would freak out, Oikawa-san,” Tobio smiles playfully as he finally catches up on Tooru’s predicament, having found what he had been looking for in brown eyes.

To everyone else, this may sound like a simple, curious conversation between two co-actors. 

But Tobio knew Tooru’s jealousy as intimately as the man himself.

“But I love a mission!” the brunette tries to bargain, perking up in his seat.

“Wait, yeah, you do actually.” Tobio nods to himself in thought. “Fine, I’m gonna take that back and say yes,”

Brown eyes light up like fireworks on New Year's. “Yes! I’ll be the best getaway driver, just you watch—”

“—Never mind, I think we’re just gonna die then.”

“Are you saying I’m a bad driver?”

“No, I’m saying you’re a ‘too safe’ driver.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means that you drive at a snail's pace, we’re never getting away from the cops if you drive—”

“Well, at least I can drive! Unlike a baby like you who cannot, so you don’t get to judge my driving skills!”

Tobio seems to have a response ready on the tip of his tongue, but he swallows it down, leaning back in his chair with a huff. “Whatever, ask the next question now, or are we done?”

(What he actually wanted to say was that Sugawara-san drives much faster, but between the two of them, Oikawa’s driving was safer, smoother. He guides the steering wheel beneath his hands like butter, and being in his car feels like gliding because he doesn’t drive rashly. With Sugawara-san, well, let’s just say there’s a lot of honking, cursing, and harsh neck-breaking breaks that are involved. 

But he isn’t about to explain all of that on camera. Tobio worries that if he even utters Sugawara-san’s name again today, then Tooru’s jealousy would not let them leave the studio peacefully.)

“Just a few more questions left.”

“Okay,”

“Are you aware that fans ship us under the name ‘Oikage’?”

“They do?” Tobio tilts his head in genuine surprise.

“Yeah, are you aware that they think you’re a bottom?”

“WHAT? That’s not true!” his eyes widen in offense, and he desperately turns to Vi to confirm as Tooru looks at her with a meaningful look.

“Deceptive,”

“WHAT? NO NO NO Listen- I’m just upset that they’re thinking I’m the bottom— I mean, like, why? Didn’t you say that the machine doesn’t say what the actual truth is?”

“Yeah, but this means that you do believe that you’re a bottom too.”

“But I don't!”

“It’s okay Tobio-chan, there’s nothing wrong with being a bottom,”

“Fuck you,” he curses for the first time during the interview.

Tooru gasps mockingly. “Not in front of the cameras, Tobio-chan!”

Tobio whines in anguish, “Augh, I hate you so much.”

“That’s exactly what a bottom would say,”

“Sounds like you know quite a lot about being a bottom,”

“I don’t care about top or bottom, so if you’re trying to turn this one on me, then it’s not gonna work~” Tooru sing-songs just to annoy the ravenette a little more.

“Well, I’m a switch too?”

“I don’t think the fans care about that either, Tobio-chan. Anyways. The actual question here is, did you find it difficult to shoot the intimate bedroom scene because that was the first time in your acting career where you had to enact an explicit scene?”

Tobio gets the usual furrow in his brows when he’s deep in thought.

“I mean, you’ve never accepted a sexy scene in any of your previous movies until now. And this was with a man, too.” Tooru continues, just to fill the silence with something.

“Yeah, no. I guess it was just very awkward? But I think we handled it fine. It took a few takes, but once I was able to block out the anxious thoughts and just focus on the scene, it became easy to act, and the result ended up great on the screen. It’s surely something that’s going to take a lot of getting used to, though. Kudos to all the other actors who’ve been doing this for a long time now.”

“Do you think it would’ve been easier if it were with a woman?” Tooru follows up in an almost hushed tone, brown eyes focusing their sudden serious intent on blue ones.

“Nah, I think it would’ve been worse. I would’ve gotten much more flustered and awkward if it were a woman.” Tobio tries to laugh it off, but it’s a fruitless effort; his eyes have already been held hostage by the ones staring at him from across the table.

A strange tension crackles in the muted space between them as they hold each other’s gaze. Tooru remembers that day of shooting like the back of his hand.

The ravenette had been obsessed with this story and was praying to land the role that he now starred as, but the bedroom scene was the only thing holding him back. So when Tooru told him that he would audition to play his love interest and secured the role, Tobio had been ecstatic. They had never worked in the same movie before, so this was a first.

And also Tobio’s debut into one of the more spicy acting sequences ever filmed. On the day of the shooting, he had messed up the shot four times before Tooru had to pull him aside and tell him to get his shit together.

“Didn’t you say you were dying to get this role? What happened now?”

“I know! I’m trying, okay? Fuck—”

“Trying how exactly? You were stiff as a board under me!”

“That’s because everyone’s watching!” Tobio whisper-shouts, but the misery in his voice seeps deep into Tooru’s skin like water on your body left undried, leaving him pruned.

It’s the result of being just as upset as the younger about the whole situation. They had discussed this scene multiple times since they got their roles, going as far as to practice it a few times as well. This shouldn’t be a problem they argue over on the very day of the shoot.

Not right now. 

“You’re an actor, Tobio— you should be used to having eyes on you all the time by now,”

“Not when I’m almost completely naked? And the camera is right in my face, I can’t focus—”

“Focus all your thoughts on me then.” Tooru grabs Tobio by the shoulder, staring right at him with a furious conviction blazing in brown eyes. “Act like no one is around us and keep your eyes on me. That is all you have to do. So just let go, let me take the lead, and don’t you dare take your eyes off of me. Hell, we even practiced this scene just last night—”

“—That was not practice—”

“—shut up, I know. The scene isn’t any different from that, though, is it Tobio? All you have to do is trust me.”

He watches the fight leave the ravenette’s body as he succumbs to his fate. When he looks back up, determination seems to be restored in his blue eyes. 

Vi clears her throat, snapping both men out of their dazed stare. “That was all truthful. You can continue.”

Tobio squirms in his seat, eyes flitting across the room without resting on anything for even a  second. Tooru wants to peel his gaze away from him—they had literally been staring at each other in silence, in front of all the crew, and the cameras must’ve caught it all.

But the memory of their scene leaves a burning imprint behind his eyelids.

Tooru clears his throat. “Um, do you think it’s ever okay to date your co-star?”

“I don’t know, I don’t really see a problem with that. Depends on who the person is; it can turn good or bad.”

“He’s telling the truth,” Vi nods.

Tooru almost jokingly wants to ask him, “Would you date me?” but instead he says, “That’s a good answer.”

He reorganizes the papers in his hands and puts them down, asking one final question.

“Did you lie at any point during this interview, and we didn’t catch you?”

“Um, whenever I did lie, it caught me, so…no,” Tobio answers honestly.

Vi nods to confirm that he’s telling the truth.

"Except that one time where you beat the system," Tooru adds mock wistfully.

"Except that one time where I beat the system," Tobio smirks at the camera.

(insert heading two transition) Oikawa Tooru Tells The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Anything Nothing But The Truth.

“Wow, we’ve got a clean run on your interview,” Tooru says as he takes the hot seat, which is, in fact, still warm from Tobio’s weight on it. The cushion has sunk with the imprint of his butt. 

Tooru feels a weird sense of closeness to him as he settles himself in the same spot. 

(He’s a bit obsessed with Tobio, and he knows it, okay?)

“That means I won.”

Tooru sighs, rolling his eyes almost affectionately. “This isn’t a game about being the most honest in the room, Tobio-chan. If it was, we wouldn’t even need the lie detector to tell us that you’re the winner of that title.”

“We’ll see about that when you have to tell the truth with a machine attached to you,” Tobio replies from across him, nodding in thanks as one of the staff hands him the papers full of questions.

“It’s not a magical machine that knows the actual truth, Tobio. You keep thinking it’s some all-knowing crystal ball—it’s just going to tell us whether I believe what I’m saying is true or not.” Tooru explains again as Vi hooks him up to the machine.

“Yeah, yeah, I got it now. I’m gonna ask a few questions to calibrate the machine.”

“Alrighty, let’s get this show finally started, Tobio-chan.”

“You talk too much. Is your real, full name, Oikawa Tooru?”

“Rude, but yes. That is my full name.”

“Is that the truth?” Tobio turns to Vi, and Tooru throws his hands up in the air, exasperatedly.

“Tobio! Now you’re just doing it on purpose!” he argues with a terribly fond and annoyed look on his face as he laughs, watching Tobio try his hardest to hide his own smile behind the interview papers.

“Were you born on the 20th of July?”

“Yes,” Tooru replies at the end of his laugh, regaining his composure.

“Are you about to take a lie detector test?”

“Yes.”

“Are you nervous?”

“Yes,” Tooru answers honestly, even though the machine is still calibrating.

They wait for Vi to signal them to start asking the actual questions once the machine has been calibrated.

“Okay, so the first question is, you said in an old interview that your favorite food is milk bread. In another interview, you also said that your favorite food is foie gras. Which of the two do you like more?”

“Easy, Foie Gras.” Tooru replies, leaning back comfortably in the chair.

“Truthful,”

“Do you have any new favorite foods?” Tobio decides to ask as a follow-up, even though it’s not written in the paper.

Tooru takes a moment to think about his answer. “Umm, not a favorite food, but I like the South American ‘Mate’ drink. It reminds me of matcha, because of its earthy, bitter taste.”

“I thought you didn’t like bitter drinks?”

“That was years ago in high school. I trained my taste buds to drink coffee after that, so I’ve been okay with drinking the bitter stuff now.”

“Oh, okay.”

“You’re acting as if you haven’t seen me drink coffee, Tobio-chan.”

“I always assumed it was overly sweet,”

“I’d say it’s accurately sweet. Not that you would know, since you don’t have my coffee order memorized.”

“Why would I?”

“Why not? Don’t you want to be a good junior actor to your seniors? Plus, I have your drink order memorized, so it’s only fair.”

“Oh yeah? What is it then?”

“Black, like your soul—Nah, I’m just kidding,” Tooru chuckles at the glare Tobio fixes on him playfully. “You always get a Macchiato, because you cannot for the love of god drink anything that doesn’t have at least a little bit of milk in it,”

“I drink other coffee drinks too,”

“That’s because your taste is influenced by your stay in Italy. But you make Macchiatos even—you drink it more often than not,” Tooru corrects himself at the last moment, mentally scolding himself for almost saying ‘even at home’.

“What’s your drink order then?” Tobio asks because of course he doesn’t even notice the slip-up.

“I usually just get matcha lattes with either hazelnut or caramel syrup. Plus, the latte art is always pretty to look at.”

“I knew it would be something sweet,”

“I mean, it’s bittersweet,”

“Just like your soul?” Tobio smirks teasingly.

Tooru laughs at the callback.”Yes, just like my soul. Anyways, we’re getting sidetracked. Back to the questions!”

“Okay. Would you consider yourself a clumsy person?”

“No,”

“Deceptive,” Vi says without missing a beat.

“What? But I’m not?” the brunette protests in disbelief, then realises that he had gotten too carried away during their previous conversation, and it might’ve been picked up as a lie.

“Yeah, I think Oikawa-san isn’t that clumsy of a person. Sure, he does bump into furniture sometimes when he doesn’t have his glasses, and sometimes he forgets things when he’s in a rush.”

“—That is not helpful at all, Tobio-chan—”

“But he’s one of the most…organised? Or like, one of the most well-maintained people I know. It’s kind of rare for him to be clumsy.”

That leaves the brunette speechless. Tooru worries that the lie detector is still picking up on the concerning speed of his heartbeat. “Thank you for defending my honor, I guess,” he says in reply, laughing it off for the cameras.

“As you mentioned earlier, we play the roles of two gay characters who are already dating in the story. Which scene, according to you, was the most difficult to film with me?”

“Oh, that’s an interesting question. Well, firstly, the intimate scene we were just talking about earlier, because you were being difficult since it was your first time. Other than that… well, I wouldn’t say this scene was the most difficult to film with you, it was just difficult in general. Remember the confession scene in the rain? We had to do multiple takes for that one, too, and the water sprinklers had drenched us to the bone. I feel like the lines made us both so emotional that we kept wanting to do a retake to get the scene right. But we pulled it off despite it all and got the perfect take.”

“Yeah, I remember how annoying it was to shoot the kiss scene that followed the confession, the water was all up in our mouths, and we were shivering so much,”

“Right, I was so worried that we were going to catch a cold, but we thankfully didn’t.”

“That was all truthful,” Vi confirms for them.

Tooru sighs in relief. Finally, the machine was not going to screw this up for him.

“Do you think I was a good kisser?” 

“No,”

“That was a lie,” 

Fuck. Tooru laughs embarrassedly. “Of course, that’s a lie, I would’ve asked for an intimacy co-ordinator if you were a bad kisser. Don’t ask questions to fan your ego, Tobio-chan,”

“I was just curious,” Tobio answers, avoiding his gaze as he flips the papers in his hands.

“Sure,” Tooru drawls because he’s not buying the younger’s bullshit at all. 

“Next question. Did you ever watch me in a scene and think, ‘I could do that better’?”

“Yes,” the brunette answers easily with a smirk, lounging back into his seat lazily.

“Truthful,” Vi confirms with a nod.

“What scene?” Tobio follows up, ocean eyes glinting under the sunrays of curiosity.

“I don’t know, I think I could do you better—I mean, do better than you in many scenes,” Tooru laughs off his slip-up as Tobio looks at him in disbelief, ears turning red.

“Inconclusive,”

“What?” the two men ask in unison, surprise painting their faces. 

“I’m sure Oikawa-san could’ve done better than me in some scenes,”

“Thanks, Tobio-chan, but I don’t need your consolation,”

“I’m not consoling you, I'm telling the truth,”

“Well then, do you think you could’ve done better than me in some scenes?”

“Yes,”

“You brat,” laughter fills the air, the familiarity of their banter making both men’s cheeks turn warm. “Ask the next question!”

Tobio takes a deep breath to stop his laughter, shaking his head. “Alright. In an interview, you said this person—”

(Picture: Iwaizumi Hajime)

“—who is also your manager, is your childhood best friend."

“Yes,”

“He once tweeted that you rewatched my curry ad multiple times. Is that true?” There’s still a hint of a smile curling the corners of his lips up, which makes Tooru feel both flustered and riled up. It makes him defiant despite his pulse picking up its pace.

“No,”

Vi shakes her head, but he had seen it coming. “Deceptive,”

“So you did watch my curry ad multiple times?"

The brunette pouts petulantly. “I don't know, my nephew's a big fan of yours, maybe he was watching it on my phone. Iwaizumi probably saw the watch history and decided to make fun of me as all best friends do,"

“Oh," Tobio buys the lie easily. "Tell your nephew thank you from me then,"

"Yeah, I bet he'll be over the moon watching you say that."

"I can give you my autograph to pass it on to him if you want."

That makes Tooru genuinely laugh. “Wow, Tobio-chan, you really are such a smug little brat. Wait till we get back—”

Oops.

“Wait till we get back the footage from my last ad shoot, you'll be rewatching it multiple times too, I bet—since 'your oikawa-san has always been your goal' and all that," he replies cockily, a curl of his upper lip as he mentally pats himself on the back for the cover-up.

Tobio just snickers and mutters something under his breath before taking a deep breath and continuing, “Anyway, here’s your next question. Have you ever pre-gamed before a red carpet?”

A small chuckle stutters out of the brunette. “I…have. Iwa-chan, please don’t get mad!” he calls out to his manager, who is overlooking the recording with the rest of the staff.

“Just tell them the truth first, I’ll deal with you later,” comes his faint voice from off-screen, which makes everyone in the studio laugh.

“Okay, okay, fine. I did, I think it was during last year’s film awards. I was nominated for the best lead actor for the first time, and I was hella nervous the entire day. A friend of mine snuck a drink into my dressing room, and I drank just enough to calm myself, not much than that.”

Tobio turns to Vi. “That was all true,”

“You did win that award, though. I remember, because I was the presenter.”

Tooru smiles at the memory. “Yeah, I remember you handing me a tissue later because I’d made a mess of myself from crying off-stage,” they chuckle in reminiscence.

“Makes sense now that I know you were drunk,”

“I wasn’t drunk—” the brunette rushes to correct him. “—and by that point of the night the alcohol had worn off. That was pure emotion,” he laughs. “I was just that overwhelmed after giving my acceptance speech.”

“It was a really good acceptance speech. I never know what to say for those,”

“You’ve gotten better at them now—didn’t you mention me in one of them?”

“That was during my first rookie award. I was just told to thank everyone who has influenced me to work hard, so I ended up saying your and Hinata’s names.”

“Aww, I influence you to work hard, is that it?”

“Yes,” Tobio looks like he wants to add something more, but Tooru sees the gears turn behind his eyes as he decides against it and continues, “Oikawa-san, do you wear wigs?”

“WHAT? NO!” Tooru replies, shocked at the sudden question. Why is he the one getting asked such absurd, stupid things? “I mean, maybe if my role needs it, but not outside that,”

“Why don’t you wear wigs?”

“Because my hair is good as it is?” the brunette deadpans, eyes turning up to his hairline as if to prove a point to the cameras staring at him.

“Would you like to wear wigs?”

“No?”

“Inconclusive,” Vi replies, her face the perfect picture of poise and nonchalance. As if she hadn’t just said something that sent Tooru down an existential self-conscious mental spiral.

“What do you mean? I don’t need to wear wigs, my hair is really nice…” the brunette rubs a lock of his hair between his thumb and index. The texture feels a little rough from the constant use of hair spray that keeps his waves styled and stationary.

“Okay,” Tobio answers suddenly, flipping his pages to continue the interview.

“You don’t think my hair is nice, Tobio-chan?” Tooru asks, arms crossing over his chest.

“It’s… alright, I guess,” the younger replies without meeting his gaze. Huh.

“So you’re saying I need to wear wigs?” he arches an eyebrow, curious about Tobio’s sudden shy behaviour.

“I didn't say that—”

“Can we hook him back to the polygraph? I need to know if this brat is lying or not—”

“Do you think your hair looks bad?” Tobio asks him instead.

“No!”

“Deceptive,” Vi says with finality.

“Oh my god, I'm not lying!” Tooru slumps into his chair, pouting in mild annoyance and shame.

“I believe you, Oikawa-san.” Tobio tries to placate him with his honesty. “Let’s move on to the next question. You once said that this actor—”

(Picture: Ushijima Wakatoshi)

“—Is your sworn nemesis. Is it true that he has been trying to persuade you into working on a film with him despite your obvious, public dislike of him?”

Tooru sits up in muted surprise. “Whoa, that is true—he has been after me about that since we were rookies in the industry, but the question is making it sound like I really hate him or something,”

“So you don’t hate him?”

Tooru’s face pinches with the effort not to lie. “He’s alright. Plus, he’s one of your best friends, so I’m not gonna say anything mean about him to you,”

“That hasn’t stopped you before,” Tobio points out.

“Yeah, well, that was before we started—working together on this film.” Tooru worries that his PR is going to have a word with him after this interview for the number of times he has almost outed their relationship while answering the questions.

“Alright. The people online do think that you hate him, though, don’t you want to clear the air on that rumor?”

What rumor it’s the truth—Tooru bites his tongue and instead replies with what is the correct way to respond to this question as a star actor in the industry. “Fine, I don’t hate him. We just… didn’t start off on the right foot. We’re cordial now, no bad blood between us, I promise.” He looks at the camera as he answers unwaveringly to express his honesty.

“Was that all true?”

“Yes,” Vi nods.

“Okay, then what do you think is his best versus worst movie?”

“Hmm,” Tooru considers it for a moment. “I haven’t actually watched all the movies he’s starred in, so I don’t think I can give such a strong opinion as his best and worst work,”

Tobio looks at Vi to confirm. “Truthful,” she replies with a nod.

“Then which movie of his have you watched that you liked? You must have some opinion of his work if you’ve watched at least one or two of his films.” Tobio presses out of curiosity.

“I’ve watched the action film he did two years ago, because Iwa-chan—I mean, Iwaizumi, my manager, was insistent on watching it,” Tooru replies earnestly, taking a little vindictive pride at outing his best friend’s interest in the famed actor. “I think he did a great job on it. He must’ve trained a lot for all those action sequences, because I heard that he did all those scenes without a body double. I think that’s something quite commendable.”

“Yeah, I agree. It must’ve been so difficult. But the movie turned out amazing because of that.”

Tooru hums in reply. “This doesn’t mean he can still goad me into working with him, for the record,” he adds petulantly, just because he can. And also because it gets a laugh out of Tobio.

“Are you jealous that we both have an Oscar and you don’t?”

“No, of course not. Why would I be?” Tooru replies calmly.

They both turn to Vi for the reading. “He’s telling the truth,”

“Huh,” Tobio’s brows dip towards his nose bridge. “Well, that’s a pleasant surprise,”

“Why? Did you want me to be jealous of your Oscar?”

“No, I just—it’s—whatever. You do deserve an Oscar for all the great work you’ve put out, anyway.”

“So you’ve said before, Tobio-chan,”

“Right. Next question. Have you ever searched yourself up?”

“Like googled myself? No.”

“Deceptive,”

Tooru turns to Vi with a baffled expression, painting his features. “Wait—But I’ve not? I promise!”

Tobio smirks. It looks exactly like the word trouble. “Then, since you’ve openly shown your interest in zodiac signs and astrology, did you check our sign compatibility before our film?”

“Um, no—why would I do that—”

“He’s lying,” Vi cuts him off before he can finish, and Tooru guffaws in offense as Tobio, the annoying brat, hides his giggles behind the stack of papers in his hands.

“I’m just reading what the polygraph’s telling me,” the woman says honestly, shrugging.

“Maybe the machine is broken, have we considered that?” he asks no one in particular, looking around the room. “I really didn’t check our compatibility signs before the film, I didn’t have to because I already knew—”

Oops part. Two (2).

“—that it would be no use. It didn’t really matter if we’re compatible or not, because as actors, we’d have to make the chemistry convincing for the screen anyway. Knowing our signs wouldn’t have changed that, the stars can’t dictate our on-screen compatibility. That’s all on us to make our characters believable,” he recovers with a brilliant answer and mentally pats himself on the back for it.

“You’re explaining yourself too much again, Oikawa-san.”

“And you’re not being very ‘Yuto’ with me right now, Tobio-chan. I think that was a very reasonable answer,” Tooru half-jokes, laughing through his mock-annoyed face.

“Well, you’re not being very ‘Nao’ either,” Tobio looks at him with a knowing glint in his azure eyes. It makes butterflies erupt in his belly.

(translator’s notes: Yuto means “a gentle person” and Nao means “an honest person”. Both are the names of their characters.)

“Was I lying just now?” Tooru asks, turning to the polygraph operator with an arched brow.

“No, that was all truthful,” Vi replies. “Though earlier it did detect deception when you said no,” she continues. “Maybe it carried over from the previous question.”

So my assumption was right, there is a way to confuse the machine. Tooru thinks to himself, folding his arms across his chest as he leans back into the chair.

“Anyways, who in the cast do you think would end up in a dating scandal?”

“Atsumu.”

“Truthful,”

Both Tooru and Tobio laugh at that, as if sharing an inside joke that no one else in the room would understand.

“Have you ever—this is a stupid question, we all know the answer.” Tobio cuts himself off as he reads the next question. “Have you ever gotten anything done to your face?”

“Like surgery? NO! I was born with this face, baby!” Tooru gives the camera his signature peace sign pose, sticking his tongue out and winking playfully.

They don’t have to turn to the polygraph operator to confirm the truth in that answer; the confident glow on Tooru’s face speaks for itself.

“Okay. Oikawa-san, do you have any pets at home?”

“No?”

“Truthful,”

“Then why did you post this picture—”

(Picture: Oikawa Tooru’s Instagram Story)

“—of you with scratches on your arms, with the caption ‘Francesca can be really adorable some days, today is not the day’?”

“Whoa,” Tooru laughs to cover up the blush creeping up his neck, “How did you guys even find this picture?”

“It was on your public story,” Tobio fixes a cold stare on him, freezing Tooru in his seat. I was so sure… I thought I posted it to my private story…

“That’s my sister’s cat. I don’t have one,” Tooru answers, begging his heart to calm down.

“Inconclusive,” Vi answers with a confused furrow in her brows.

“It’s the truth! You can call and ask her,” the brunette tries to cover up with an air of nonchalance, waving one hand in the air dismissively.

“Sure, I’ll confirm it for you guys after the interview,” Tobio answers, flipping to the last paper in his hands. Tooru gulps apprehensively, but his smile remains steady under the scrutiny of the cameras. Tobio clearly looks shaken about them being almost outed.

Not that he had noticed all the other times Tooru had slipped up during the interview.

“As the nation’s crush, you’ve had dozens of figures made in your likeness. As a collector, would you never take them out of the package, or would you play with them?”

“Ooh, that’s true. It’s an honor to have figurines being made of me, and I’ll be honest, I’m not ashamed to admit that I like to collect my own figurines, because, well, who am I to turn down free merch of myself? Though I won’t say that I never take them out of the package…” he trails off, wondering if he would like to play with his own toy figurines. 

It’s such an absurd thought that he’s about to slam it shut with a truthful “No” when Tobio interrupts. “So you wanna play with yourself?”

Tooru’s face flushes at the framing of the question. “You can’t just ask someone that!”

“Why not?” Tobio’s smirk spells mischief again, blue eyes watching Tooru’s every breath like a hunter watching its prey. Turns out he’s not the only one who likes watching their partner squirm. Touche, Tobio-chan.

Tooru whines as he gives in, answering truthfully. “Augh, the answer is no, Tobio-chan. I do not want to be playing with myself,” 

“Deceptive,”

“WHATTT??” Tooru screeches as Tobio bursts into laughter, hiding his smile behind the papers in his hand as he doubles over. “This machine has some personal vendetta against me!”

“It’s just telling the truth, Oikawa-san.”

“But it doesn’t know the truth, Tobio-chan!” Tobio laughs harder as Tooru continues whining, hiding his tomato face behind his hands. “Oh my god, I almost want to ask if this is a prank and where are the cameras, but the cameras are right there TT.”

“You did not just say that out loud, Oikawa-san,”

“So what if I did? Just ask the next question, Tobio-chan!”

“Alright, alright.” Tobio coughs, fixing his hair that had ruffled from his raucous laughter. 

“Would you say falling in love is harder when you’re a celebrity?”

“Hmm, I wouldn’t say falling in love is ever hard; it’s staying in love that’s harder. And well, when you’re a celebrity, I think it just adds new layers of problems that you probably wouldn’t have to face as a normal person. The tabloids are always looking for fresh fodder, y’know?”

“That’s true. So, are you seeing someone at the moment?”

“No,” Tooru replies instantly, pouting with his arms crossed across his chest.

“Truthful,” Vi confirms.

Tobio arches an eyebrow as he continues, “Then the online conspiracy about you having a secret lover is false?” 

“There’s a conspiracy?” the brunette narrows his eyes at him across the table.

“Yes, so do you have a secret lover?” Tobio repeats.

“No, I just said that I’m not seeing anyone at the moment,” Tooru answers calmly.

“Truthful,”

He sighs in relief, feeling his heartbeat speed up again after having held his breath for so long.

“Do you really believe that aliens exist?”

That’s an easy question. It makes Tooru smile genuinely as composure returns to him. “Yes,”

“Inconclusive,”

His smile drops instantaneously.

“Huh?” Both men looked confused at the reading. “Wait, what do you mean? I do believe in aliens!” Tooru insists, looking more even distraught than all the previous times his answer resulted in an ambiguous reading.

“I believe you, Oikawa-san,” Tobio says reassuringly, for the third time during the span of one (1) interview.

“But now everyone else is going to think I don’t believe in aliens!” the brunette complains as if this were the biggest grievance to happen to him today. “Ugh, no! Now what face am I to show the public!”

“The only one that you have.”

“Wow, very helpful Tobio-chan,”

“Are you saying you have more than one face?”

“No? Why would I say that?”

“Truthful,”

“Thanks, Vi,” Tooru replies defeatedly, exhaling loudly as he sags into his chair. He is ready for this interview to be over already. “How many more questions?”

“Just two more,” Tobio replies, looking down at the paper in his hand.

“Alright. Give it to me, let’s end this.” His brown eyes lock onto the ravenette.

“You said earlier that we were being shipped as ‘oikage’.”

“Right,” Tooru already has a bad feeling about this one.

“Have you ever looked up fan art, fan edits, or fanfics of us on the internet?”

“Uh—No.”

“Deceptive,”

Tooru laughs embarrassedly, “Listen, listen. I don’t go looking for them. They show up on my page. I’ve not engaged with any of the content, but I’m aware it exists, because unlike Tobio-chan, I do have a social media presence.”

“You’re explaining yourself too much again, just say yes or no.”

“Well, I did! And it thinks I’m lying!”

“It’s a machine, it can’t think.”

“Tobio-chan, for the last time—it doesn’t know the truth!”

“You’re getting defensive,”

“I’m being very reasonable!”

“You’re not helping your case.”

“You’re not helping my case!” They both laugh in unison at the desperation in his voice, but Tooru is starting to regret everything he’s done that has led him to this point in life. “Ask the last question and set me free from this hell trap, please,” he resorts to begging, not sure if it is to Tobio or to the Gods laughing at him from the heavens.

The only one out of the two that brings him salvation in the end is Tobio, of course.

“Okay. Last year, you acted in a sports movie as a volleyball setter. Which other actor do you think would make a good setter, according to you?”

“Are you sure you’re not making this question up, Tobio-chan?” Tooru asks, a teasing smirk tipping the corner of his lips upwards.

“No, why would I?” Tobio replies nonchalantly.

“Alright, I’ll bite. I think you’d make a great setter.”

Tobio’s eyes widen a fraction, but Tooru notices it all the same. “Is he telling the truth?”

Vi nods. “He’s being truthful,”

“Wow. Okay. Do you think we’d still be rivals?”

“Oh, of course! There’s no doubt about that.”

Tobio flushes at the smirk Tooru sends his way. “W-was the training for that acting role difficult for you?”

“Hm? Oh, so that was the main question—”

“—no that’s not—”

“—Well, firstly, it took a lot of cardio and strength training, then they had me practising with college athletes—because well, the role I played was of a university student—to better understand both the level of game and the dedication of students like them who want to go pro. It was an eye-opening experience, to say the least. Like wow, this is also a career path people choose, and it is as demanding of your body and brain as it is difficult to play.”

As he finishes his explanation, he notices that Tobio has spaced out while staring at him.

“Um, are you waiting for me to confirm? Cause that was all truthful,” Vi answers to fill in the silence of the studio.

Tobio doesn’t budge, however, and Tooru notices a hint of sparkle in his blue eyes that he’s only seen when the ravenette is watching him on the screen in a film or during shoots.

He looks mesmerized.

“Was that the last question, Tobio-chan?” he calls out his nickname softly, knowing it would snap the younger out of his trance.

“Huh? What? Oh, yeah—that was it.” Tobio stutters, looking down at the papers to hide the blush creeping up his face.

“Great! I’d say that was as much of a success as it could’ve been, all things considered. I’m still upset about that aliens question though.” Tooru laughs despite the pout forming on his lips.

“It’s okay, polygraph readings aren’t always accurate,” Vi replies in consolation.

“That is true. I hope the fans will believe me when I say that I really do think aliens exist.”

(insert ending transition) End Credits

Tobio clears his throat to return their attention to him. “Did you lie at any point during this interview, and we didn’t catch you?

Tooru sighs. “Well, I’m not gonna lie on this last question, because we all saw that every time I tried to dodge the question, I got caught more times than I can count,”

That gets a chuckle out of the staff as he smiles cheekily. “However, as Vi said, the polygraph isn’t totally accurate in its readings, and well, let’s just say that you didn’t actually catch me at all,” he quirks an eyebrow at the camera. “So yes, Tobio-chan. I lied successfully, multiple times even.”

Tobio turns to Vi. “Is he telling the truth?”

Tooru’s smile turns devilish.

“Yes, that was all true.”

˙✧˖📷⋆˙

Tobio’s throwing himself onto the couch as soon as they’re back in the comfort of their apartment. He’d napped all the way during the car ride home, and Tooru had been too exhausted to actually discuss the interview recording.

Oh well, lunch time was as good as any to have a conversation when you’re two busy actors. He’s already asked their driver to grab food for them from their favorite restaurant. He’ll be bringing it up to their apartment soon.

The brunette allows himself to collapse onto the younger’s body, both to annoy him and erase the distance between them. It’s been a long day, and it’s only past 3 pm.

Tobio grunts under his weight but scoots himself into the pillows of the backrest so that they can lie on their sides facing each other. Tooru instantly burrows his face into the younger’s collar and sighs deeply.

They stay like that, unmoving and unsaying, until the doorbell rings, signalling that their lunch has been delivered outside.

Tooru groans. “Go get it, Tobio-chan,”

“Mmhf, no, you go get it.”

“Tobio~ Aren’t you hungry?”

“Aren’t you?”

“Tch, fine—get up with me at least. You’re too comfortable, and I don’t feel like moving either.”

They make it off the couch as one person, hugging each other as they shuffle towards the front of the apartment. Tobio breaks away from him to set up the dining table for them as Tooru collects their food from the doorstep, and they work together to unbox the takeout and fill up their plates.

“So, what did you think about the interview?” Tooru asks as they dig into their noodles.

“Ish wash goof,”

“Yeah, it felt refreshing to be questioned by a co-star for once, and the questions were silly too.” 

“Yur kesshons ver besh,”

“Because you got to make fun of me? Yeah, yeah, at least everyone got a good laugh out of it. You’re all welcome, by the way—and, stop talking with your mouth full, Tobio-chan—Since when did you take after Hinata’s bad habit?” he picks up a tissue and instinctively wipes at the corners of the younger’s mouth. 

“Since I had to live with him for three years in that shitty dorm,” Tobio reaches for a piece of BBQ-glazed chicken from Tooru’s bowl with his chopstick and trades it for a piece of fried pork from his own plate.

Tooru hums in acknowledgement. “You answered your questions really well today. Especially with that one about the worst actor among your ex-roommates,”

“I hope Bokuto-san won’t be too upset about that,”

“That is Akaashi-kun’s problem; he knows how to deal with it, don’t worry.” Tooru steals another piece of tonkatsu from Tobio’s dish. “By the way, did you really mean it?”

“What?”

“When you said that Suga-kun was a better driver than me?”

“I never said that. I said you’re a too-safe driver.”

“How’s that a bad thing?”

“It’s not. I don’t know why you keep thinking I insulted you by saying that.”

“Well, you called me a bad getaway driver!”

“Because you don’t know how to drive in a hurry! You know what, maybe I should tell Suga-san to take you on a drive, then you’ll understand.”

Tooru feels a shiver run down his spine. “I don’t know why, but that sounds like a bad idea. Don’t go robbing banks with him, Tobio—”

“—That was clearly a joke, come on.”

“Speaking of stealing, though, what have you been stealing from me?”

Tobio drops his chopsticks to stare at him with a deadpan look. “Your clothes? Your perfume?”

“Oh, that. Right, right… Wait—Why would you tell everyone that then?”

“I didn’t tell them what I stole.”

“And you don’t think the fans can’t throw guesses about what it could’ve been?”

“You’ve given them more than enough content to stay deluded with their guesses.”

That makes the brunette laugh in embarrassment that ends in a whine. “Man, Iwa-chan’s gonna yell my ear off,”

“If your PR manager doesn’t do it first.”

“Nah, Makki loves drama. He’ll be happy that we’re getting more publicity and views.”

“I still can’t believe you didn’t check that your story was not private.”

“Makki took it down immediately without telling me! How was I supposed to know—”

“You just wanted to piss me off, didn’t you?”

“Naw, I would never do that, darling~” Tooru nudges the younger with his shoulder, earning a nudge back.

“Seriously? ‘Francesca can be adorable some days, but not today.’?”

“But you are adorable, babe!”

“And I can also be not adorable according to you, which is exactly how I’m going to be right now.”

“You’re even more adorable when you’re grumpy, though,” Tooru puts his chopsticks down to squish Tobio’s cheeks, then laughs at the pout that he knew would appear on his boyfriend’s face. Tobio visibly relaxes at the light sound, lips curling up slightly—but Tooru notices it all the same. 

“What did you even lie about?”

“Hmm?”

“You said at the end that you lied multiple times. What were those lies that didn’t get caught?”

“Let’s see. Well, I obviously lied when I said I’m not seeing anyone. I also lied when I said I’m not jealous of your Oscars—”

“Obviously,”

“Hey!”

“What? Nothing wrong with admitting the truth here, I knew it anyway. I’m surprised you even got away with that one.”

“Well, those questions I had prepared to completely lie about.”

“Okay, what else?”

“Uh, I think that was most of it, and well, Foie Gras isn’t my favorite food, actually.”

Tobio looks genuinely surprised and curious at that. “It isn’t?”

“No, Tobio-chan—I said that as a metaphor for you back then. But I don’t actually like Foie Gras. It’s always been milk bread. Although now…”

They start cleaning up their used plates and pack up the trash. “Now?”

“I think my favorite food now might just be the pork curry you make. The one with slow-cooked eggs on top.”

Slender hands freeze over the sink as blue eyes peer at him in awe. 

Tooru just smiles back cheekily at him. “But I couldn’t say that during the interview, unfortunately.”

“You said worse things during the interview, though—”

“Oh my god, stop reminding me—”

“—like seriously? ‘You could do me better’ ? ‘Wait till we get back’ ?” Tobio can’t stop the evil smirk rising on his lips at the sight of a whining, distressed Tooru under the kitchen lights, fluffy brown hair sticking in weird directions now that their styling has worn off.

Tooru takes one look at his expression and feels all the sparks reignite on his skin like fireworks on New Year’s. “Yeah, now that we’re back home, let me teach you a lesson YOU BRAT—”

Tobio is already dashing out to the living room by the time he finishes his sentence, and soon the apartment is a mess of pillow fights, loud laughter, and a light, warm love.

“GET BACK HERE!”

“TRY AND CATCH ME FIRST!”

“OH I’LL DO MORE THAN JUST CATCH YOU TOBI-OOMF—”

It’s rare enough to get Tobio to smile and chuckle genuinely, but the deep, elated belly laugh that fizzes out of him like bubbles in champagne makes Tooru momentarily forget what he had been saying before a pillow hit him square in the face.

The ravenette’s breath releases in short gasps as his laughter dissolves into a bright smile. 

“Truce?” he offers, palm out as he stands in the middle of a ruined battlefield—bedsheets askew from the onslaught of their racing feet, blankets and pillows lying in their graves all over the room, plush toys holding onto their last thread of dignity as war soldiers—with the late afternoon sun drenching the room in a glorious golden light.

He looks like a single bloom of narcissus tazetta: proud, joyous, and hopeful; eyes watching him with mirth and endless admiration. And well, Tooru’s just a floating butterfly drawn to the fragrance of his love.

He takes the offered hand and climbs onto the bed, lacing their fingers together.

Tooru opens his mouth on an exhale to reply, honey eyes keeping Tobio’s attention on him and all his walls down. Then, the smile that breaks onto the brunette’s face is downright feral. “NO TRUCE, JUST TICKLES!”

They’re definitely going to be late to their next scheduled PR event of the day, but they’ve got to expend the built-up tension (lest they make fools of themselves again during the rest of the interviews), and Tooru has just the idea for it in his mind.

“Tobio-chan, wanna recreate that bedroom scene from our movie?”

˙✧˖📷⋆˙