Archive of Our Own ^beta

Willow reversed the spell. 

Giles was no longer blind, and Xander was no longer being chased by demons (well, no more than usual).

So, there’s no explanation for why Buffy and Spike were still cuddled up together, trading lazy kisses when they thought nobody was looking.  

“What did you do?” Giles glared at Willow-- really glared, because he could see her now, thank you very much. 

“I don’t know!” Willow shrilled, cringing away from the many accusing stares from her friends-- and Anya. 

When they were in the crypt, and Buffy was still smooching Spike, they thought it was just taking a little longer for the counter spell to take effect. After all, it’s not like Willow’s spells have always gone perfectly-- a fact that Willow resented as Anya pointed it out, but was in no way ready to argue against. 

But, they’d made it all the way back to Giles’ house, and Buffy and Spike had still been walking hand-in-hand, like two lovers on a moonlit stroll, with no signs of either ready to upchuck by the magically induced smoochfest. 

Xander throws his hands up. “Well, clearly, the reversal spell didn’t work!” 

“Giles isn’t blind anymore, and no demon has attacked you in two hours,” Anya noted, sounding almost bored, despite the obvious wackiness going on around her. “I think it worked.” 

“But then why are they--” Xander finally turned to the dreaded corner that nobody-- maybe minus Anya-- had been brave enough to look in the last hour. He choked on air, and Willow slowly turned around. 

There, wrapped around each other on Giles’ red arm chair, were Buffy and Spike. They're talking closely, nose to nose, in hushed tones that nobody else in the room can hear. The two of them aren’t doing anything particularly risque, she supposed, but it’s still weird. 

Giles stood over her, and Willow felt crushed by the disapproval emanating off him in waves. “You. Need. To. Fix this.”  

When the spell lifted, Buffy felt it. 

It was hard to miss. The floaty feeling of being happily engaged suddenly plummeting down on her like extra gravity, while she was straddling Spike in that crypt. 

Buffy was eighteen years old! She didn’t want to get married-- not right now, though, statistically, she’d probably never get the chance. 

She knew she hadn’t been in love with Spike before the spell, but afterwards, even though her desire for marriage had gone away, the rose-colored tint was still all with the tinty. Spike hadn’t changed. Her feelings hadn’t changed. 

He was still beautiful and funny. Smart-- maybe not in an obvious way, but enough to mumble bits of poetry in her ear, and read a spell book written entirely in Latin to try and help her Watcher. He was caring, devoted, he could be sweet, and was nice to her friends even though none of them approved of their relationship, and he was also--

Wounded. Wounded in ways that Buffy was all too familiar with. 

His jagged pieces fit all of her jagged pieces.

She’d known, staring down at his wide, terrified eyes, that he was feeling the exact same things that she was. 

So, she’d leaned down, and, in front of both her best friends-- and Anya-- she’d kissed Spike. Just to see if his kisses still made her feel light and magical even without impending nuptials hanging over her head. 

They did.  

Buffy walked into Giles’ house the next morning. The others are already there, Giles, Xander, Anya, and Willow carrying in a steaming plate of cookies.

“Where’s Spike?” 

Buffy looked pointedly at the sun shining through Giles’ curtains. “Well, he’s not a big pile of dust. I left him in front of the TV at my house before I left.” 

Giles spluttered, “You invited him into your mother’s house?” 

“Yeah,” Buffy shrugged. She doesn’t mention the fact that Spike has had an invitation to her house for almost a year and a half, even back when he’d been untamed and evil.  “She’s not home yet, and even if she was, it’s not like he can hurt her anyway.” Even when he could, he’d apparently only hung out with her to share hot chocolate and vent about Drusilla. Not that she and Joyce had talked extensively on the subject when it happened-- the whole Angel thing having just come into the light, and being much more important to her mother at the time. 

“Spike was at your house all night?” Xander looked like he’s one strong breeze away from toppling over. 

Buffy flushed, though she wasn’t quite sure why. It’s not like she and Spike had done anything. “We just talked.” And also kissed. A lot. She had a feeling that Xander wouldn’t take too kindly to that detail.

Giles whipped off his glasses, and rubbed at the lenses. “Buffy, we need to talk.” 

“Agreed.” Buffy nodded.

“About the, er, spell,” Giles started to squeeze the bridge of his nose, “And how to…  reverse it.” 

Buffy furrowed her brows. “What are you talking about? The spell’s gone.” 

“It is?” Willow asked, sounding overtly hopeful. “When did that happen?” 

Buffy tilted her head to the side. “Last night? When you cast the reversal spell?” 

Giles sighed, deeply. “Yes. We know the spell got reversed for me and Xander, but you are still under it.”

Buffy glared at him. It really bothered her that he wasn’t listening. “No, I’m not.” 

“Buffy,” Xander said slowly, like Buffy was a rather obtuse child. “The reversal spell didn’t work on you.”

“Yeah, it did! Willow reversed the spell, and I didn’t want to get married anymore.” 

Willow jumped up, her face alight with triumph. “I knew it!” She yelled, pointing victoriously at Giles. “I told you it worked!”

“But, then, what was with all of the--” Xander erratically waved his arms around. “Canoodling after Willow reversed everything?” 

“That wasn’t the spell. That was me.” She took a deep breath, knowing what she’s going to say next won’t land well. “I like Spike.” 

That got the explosive reaction Buffy knew was coming. 

Giles said, “Oh, dear lord.” And reached for a rather full tumbler of some brown liquor. 

Willow looked like she was about to cry, clutching a plate of cookies like a lifeline. 

Xander stood up, his arms waving wildly. “He’s a murderer!” 

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest defensively. “So was your girlfriend, and I’m not bashing you over the head with it!” 

“She has a point.” Anya nodded, before taking another bite of one of Willow’s cookies. 

“And he’s more than that! He’s funny, and witty, and caring--” 

“He’s also very attractive.” Anya butted in. Buffy didn’t even care, seeing as Anya was apparently trying to help her. 

“Yeah, that too.” Buffy blushed, but kept her shoulders straight. She needed to appear confident, or else they’d all tear into her again-- at least that was the advice Spike gave her last night (technically early that morning) when she’d lamented the chore of explaining their new relationship status to the Scoobies. “Look, I didn't come here to argue about my relationship choices. I came here because I got more information on those commando guys.” 

Giles set his glass down, looking at her intently-- or as intently as a person who just imbibed a full glass of whiskey in three minutes could. “Spike finally told you more?” 

“Yeah,” Buffy took a seat on her new favorite armchair, which her friends had conspicuously left open. “He’s apparently a lot more talkative when we don’t keep him chained up in a bathtub.” 

Though, he’d told her he wouldn’t mind the chains in other places. 

Buffy didn’t reveal that part to her friends.  

 Buffy woke up to watery morning light streaming through her curtains. 

She’d drawn them closed last night. Right before-- 

Her eyes flew open as she remembered the events of the previous night. It was their third date-- they’d gone on three dates in one week, but it still counted-- and they’d returned to her house. Joyce was coming home later that afternoon, so it would be the last time they had any privacy for awhile, and so they’d decided-- 

Buffy’s eyes followed the pale, nude arm wrapped around her waist, tracing it all the way up until she found Spike’s sleep-softened face nestled into her shoulder. 

Buffy has no idea what to do in this situation. She’s never been the first person to wake up the ‘morning after’. She held her breath to avoid making any movement, incredibly aware of the way that her heartbeat echoed throughout her whole body. 

It doesn’t seem to work, though, because only a few moments later, Spike begins to stir, slowly lifting his head from the hard pillow of her clavicle, blinking slowly up at her. 

“Hi,” She said, shyly. 

The moment between her greeting and his response seems to last a lifetime. 

What if this was it? The moment when Spike revealed that he hadn’t been in the same place as her. That he’d just been stringing her along, until she gave him what he wanted. Oh, god! What if sex with her had broken whatever was keeping him from being able to kill people, and her friends were going to be in danger, and Xander was going to say, “I told you so,”-- 

Spike gives her a brilliant smile, showing off all of his white teeth, which broke through her rambling thoughts like a lighthouse in a fog. “Good morning, Gorgeous.” 

All of Buffy’s fears melt away-- not into nothing, because that would be too easy for her, but into the shadows of her mind while the giddy euphoria of her first ‘morning after’ with a guy she really liked.  

Buffy’s cheeks were red as she and Willow walked out of Psych. She’d managed to fall asleep in the class of the Evil Bitch-Monster of Death’s class herself.  

She was just starting to tell Willow about the whole lips of Spike part of the dream-- Spike lips made even the creepiest dreams seem better-- when she noticed Riley stalk past them, his shoulders stiff as he barely even glanced in their direction. 

Buffy worries at her bottom lip. 

“What ever happened with Riley?” Willow suddenly said, breaking through Buffy’s train of thought. 

Buffy blinked at her friend, vaguely wondering if she had the ability to read minds. “Huh?” 

“You said he had good arms!” 

“I did,” Buffy admits. “But that was before I saw Spike’s arms.” All nice, and muscley, and fun to bite when I-- 

“You broke things off with Riley for Spike?” 

Buffy bristled at her friend’s judgemental tone regarding her boyfriend, but plows on, “Well, he ended up being upset when I told him I was engaged during your spell!” 

“Did you ever tell him you weren’t engaged?” Willow hedged. 

“No,” Buffy admitted. “It’s not like it matters. I’m very much in it with Spike, now.” 

But, she’d noticed that Riley’d been weird with her ever since that night. Not talking to her after class anymore. Not helping her with her assignments, even when she actually does need the help, and goes to office hours and everything. 

“Well, I know you say that now, but maybe--”

“Will, can I please finish talking about my dream without you getting all judgey?” 

Willow pouted, “I’m not being--”

Buffy cut her off with a pointed look. 

Willow let out a long, despondent sigh. “Yeah, alright. Lay it on me.”  

Anya was so bored. 

Xander, Willow, and Giles had been hosting these ‘meetings’ almost every day since Willow’s disastrous spell-- only really halting in the face of an apocalypse, or those days when nobody could speak. 

They’ve been meeting even moreso since they found out that Spike now had the ability to kill demons, for some reason. Honestly, in Anya’s opinion, it would do good for the Slayer to have someone actually capable of helping her kill demons, and to satisfy her sexually (Buffy has been much more laid back in the last few weeks) but nobody ever asks for her thoughts, which is why she was trying to focus on reading her Businessweek magazine while the others talk themselves hoarse.

They went in circles, over and over again. Rehashing the same points, and never coming up with anything new. Xander would splutter, Giles would clean his glasses, Willow always avoided taking the responsibility, and nothing ever got accomplished.  

Finally, she’d had enough, dropped her magazine open faced onto her stomach, and bursted out, “Oh, my god! Buffy and Spike aren’t still together because of the spell!” 

They all turn to look at her.

Giles rubs at his temples, as if she was giving him a migraine. Well, now he knew how it felt. “I beg your pardon?” 

“It’s not part of the spell!” Anya repeats. “It’s an unintended consequence!” 

“Huh?” Xander looked at Anya as though she were speaking a different language, and, though she doesn’t say it out loud, Willow looks just as confused. Amateur. 

Giles, at least, seemed to be giving her words some thought. 

“Unintended consequences. All magic has it. That’s how I used to do my job. For instance: a woman asks for her husband to drop dead, turns out, she doesn’t get a cent of his estate.” Anya had seen quite a few of those before divorces became more normalized. “In this case, the consequence was that Buffy and Spike realized they were in love, even without Willow forcing them to get married.” 

“Buffy is not in love with Spike!” Xander protested, his face getting that red tint it always does whenever Buffy’s relationships are brought up. 

Anya shrugged. “She clearly thinks she is. And reality is all about perception. For instance, my perception is that Buffy has been much more relaxed and efficient in her work since she began her sexual relationship with Spike.” Now Willow’s and Giles’ faces are turning red too. 

“Don’t say that!” Willow insisted. 

“Why?” Anya challenged. “Are you saying Buffy isn’t having sex with Spike?” Willow’s response was to duck her head, and avoid the accusing glares that Giles and Xander sent her. 

Xander frustratedly ran his fingers through his hair. “Ahn, I don’t understand why you’re defending this! You were just as grossed out about Buffy and Spike as the rest of us on that first night!” 

“Yeah, because they were engaged. We’ve been dating longer than they have. If anyone should be getting engaged first, it’s us.” 

Xander had nothing to say to that. He just stood there gaping like a fish, while Willow and Giles avoided eye contact with him or his ex-demon girlfriend.  

 “Did you know that TAs aren’t allowed to date students?” Buffy asked when she entered Giles’ apartment. 

The entire gang was there, sitting in Giles’ living room. Spike was sitting in their arm chair-- the one that they spent most of the night in when they were magically inclined to be engaged-- waiting for her. She knew that that was the only reason he would be putting up with her friends and their mutinous glares. 

Needing the comfort, Buffy plopped down in his lap, and gently carded her fingers through his bleached hair. Xander turned away from them, miming gagging, but Buffy ignored him. 

It’s really very rude of him. After all, Buffy never does that when Anya is overly affectionate, or talking about their sex life loudly in public. She was gonna have to talk to him about that, but later. 

Not when her head was still reeling from the almost endless meeting she’d just gotten back from. 

Giles pushed his glasses up his nose, also avoiding looking at where Buffy was seated. “Well, yes, of course, I did.”

“No!” Willow exclaimed, vigorously shaking her head from side to side. 

“Uh, Buffster, what’s going on?” Xander amended, “Other than the obvious wackiness.”

Buffy sighed, “Well, I kept trying to schedule an appointment with Riley, so he could help me prepare for the exam-- you know, like he does with the other students? But he kept declining, and telling me, ‘no.’ He said he didn’t have time. So, Spike said I should talk to my advisor.” 

Giles cocked his head to the side. “Who’s Riley?” 

“Isn’t he that guy you were going out with before Will’s spell turned you crazy?” Xander asked.

“We went on, like, one date,” Buffy protested, gently rubbing the place on Spike’s chest over his unbeating heart, trying to settle down the growl she can feel vibrating through his whole body. “And he’s also my TA for psych.” 

Anya finally looked up from whatever it was she was reading, quirking an eyebrow. “You asked out your teacher?” 

“No! He asked me out. And he’s not my teacher. He just… grades my papers,” Buffy hid her face in Spike’s neck, partly due to embarrassment, and partly because Spike-scent is just so comforting. “Oh, god. How did I not realize how creepy that is?” 

“Riley’s a good guy,” Willow defended, her eyes getting all big (and probably guilty, since she’d been pushing Buffy to give Riley a chance for weeks). “He probably didn’t know the rules.”

Spike scoffed, but Buffy spoke up to cover it from her friend’s ears. No reason to cause any more fights right now. “Even if he knew it or not, I don’t think that’s gonna help him.”

Willow furrowed her brows, “What do you mean?”

“Well, I needed help on my final paper! And the exam! And Riley wasn’t helping, so I went to my advisor. And I ended up telling him the whole story, and well–” She winced a bit, in guilt. “I guess Riley got in trouble.” 

“How much trouble?” Willow's eyes widened, “Did you get Riley fired?” 

“I don’t know! Maybe?” Buffy shrugged. “My advisor said he’d look into it, and he’d know after a report was filed.” 

“Hey, it’s not the Slayer’s fault. It’s the boy’s, for not knowing the rules of conduct.”

Surprisingly, it’s Giles that spoke up in support of Spike’s words. “I agree. You did the right thing for yourself and your education, Buffy.” 

Buffy pressed her luck, “It was Spike’s idea.” 

Giles’ face puckered up, as if he’d eaten a very sour lemon.  

She didn’t wear the ring on her finger anymore. It didn’t feel right, knowing that he only asked because of Willow’s spell. Knowing that without it, neither one of them wanted to get married right now. 

But she hadn’t given it back, and he hadn’t asked for it back, so she kept it on a chain, and wore it like a necklace. The gaudy skull acted as the pendant, always resting just above her heart.  

Spike got an apartment in the basement of an older building relatively close to campus. Anya had actually recommended the building, and got him an ‘in’ with the landlord, for which Buffy was exceedingly grateful for. 

Between her mom being at their house, Willow always at the dorms, and Spike’s only property being his car (which, admittedly, had really great bench seats and a big back seat), she and Spike barely got any private moments together. 

He had offered to ‘get a crypt,’ but Buffy had vehemently denied that suggestion. Chances were that she was going to spend a lot of time wherever Spike was, and she needed certain amenities; such as working plumbing, and not spending all of her time around corpses (of the unanimated variety). So, with help from Anya, and some grave-robbing that Buffy was turning a blind eye to, Spike got an actual apartment in an actual building. 

But, it was still mostly underground, because, in his words, he ‘wasn’t a total disgrace to vampire-kind.’

Buffy unlocked the door to his apartment with her key, calling out, “Hey, honey, I got your mes--” Her words were cut off when she actually took in the scene taking place in Spike’s living room.

Sitting on Spike’s ratty, threadbare armchair was a large, horned demon with skin the color of pus. 

A big part of her wanted to attack this demon first, and ask questions later. But, Buffy stopped herself, and decided to investigate further. 

Spike’s place wasn’t any more messy than it had been the last time she was here-- with all of his unpacked boxes and furniture that probably came from the dump. The demon was sitting down, clawed hands on his thighs so as to not tear anything more than his pants, looking up at her with big, almost fearful eyes. 

And this was Spike’s apartment. Spike, who was a demon, and had mostly demon friends, and he would probably not be happy to find out that she’d slayed a guest in his home. Plus, his friend Clem was sweet, despite his scary, red eyes, so maybe this guy(?) was too. 

She really shouldn’t judge before she got the full story. A story that Spike would hopefully give her very soon. 

“Uh, hi…” She gave him a hesitant smile. “Are you a friend of Spike’s?” 

The demon makes a loud roaring sound, raising their clawed hands in an almost pleading gesture. 

“What are you blathering on about?” Spikes’ voice echoed out of the open doorway that led to his bedroom. He enters the room, his face a mask of annoyance, until he catches sight of Buffy. Then, his face went through a series of emotions that ranged from utter devotion to blind panic. “Luv, you’re here!” 

“You told me to. I didn’t realize you had company,” Buffy gives the still jittering demon what she hopes is a disarming smile, “Who is this?” 

The demon lets out another one of those strangled roaring sounds, and Spike rolls his eyes. “Don’t be a git, she can help.” Another roar, another eye roll. “Yeah, well, it’s this, or she tries to stab you, which would you prefer?” 

Buffy held up her hands. “I’m sorry, what is happening?” 

Spike sent one last glare at his friend (though Buffy is seriously rethinking that title by the hostile expression on her vampire’s face before he looks at her again). Then, he says the one word that Buffy was least expecting, “Giles.” 

Buffy blinked, unsure if she heard him right. “Huh?”

“That’s Giles,” Spike points at the demon, who hung his horned head in shame. “Your Watcher is a Fyarl demon.” 

Giles lets out another roar, and Buffy can now clearly see the trademark annoyance of her Watcher in the demon’s eyes. 

“Right, right,” Spike waved him off, “Temporarily a Fyarl demon.” 

So many questions float through Buffy’s brain, but the one that comes out of her mouth is, “How can you understand what he’s saying?” 

Spike shrugged, “I speak Fyarl.” 

“You speak…” Buffy trailed off, appraising Spike with narrowed eyes. “How many languages do you speak exactly?” 

Spike pursed his lips, and Buffy saw the urge to lie in his eyes, but then he slumped, and admitted in a small voice, “Nine.” 

Buffy blinked at him several times. “Okay, we’re gonna get back to that later,” Because that was an unexpectedly hot fact to know about Spike, but she couldn’t really act on it when her Watcher-turned-demon was still staring at them. “Now, how did this happen?”  

 Buffy’s birthday wish that year was to be able to hang out with her friends and boyfriend at Giles’ house without any drama. 

It hadn’t come true yet. 

“He tried to kill you!” Xander yelled. 

Spike protests, “Don’t say it like that!” 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Xander says, not sounding very sorry at all. “How would you like me to talk about your attempted murder of my friend?”

“You make it sound so one-sided. Wasn’t like that at all.”

“Yeah!” Buffy says, suddenly looking indignant. “I tried to kill Spike just as much as he tried to kill me!” 

“Clearly not very hard.” Giles grumbles, but Buffy notes that it’s softer than before. Less pointed and sharp than it had been before the whole ‘Fyarl-Giles Incident’. Like a dulled stake. 

“Oi! She tried very hard!” Spike protested, looking offended. “Always gave me a run for my money, she did.” At the end, his voice takes on a tinge of awe. 

Buffy grins at him, clearly delighted. “Aw, thanks, honey.”

“What is happening?” Xander burst out. 

“Spike is complimenting Buffy on how she nearly killed him,” Anya summarised. “Keep up, Xander.” 

Buffy and Spike are sitting close together at the table occupied by the Scoobies at the Bronze, their thighs pressed together under the table. 

Willow and Xander had looked downright mutinous when Buffy showed up with Spike, but Xander brought his girlfriend, so Buffy didn’t see why she couldn’t bring her boyfriend.

Now, Anya and Xander are arguing over Xander’s newest ‘job’, -- selling some sort of candy bar that seemed to be adding more to his gut than his bank account-- while Willow boredly stirred the straw of her soda glass. 

“Y’know, I kinda thought this was just gonna be the three of us,” Willow mumbled into her glass, though Buffy can still hear her. “Like old times.” 

Buffy looked up at Spike, silently pleading with him. He understood what she was asking for anyway. 

“Oi,” He called out, “Demon girl, why don’t I getcha a drink?” 

Anya narrowed her eyes at him. “Will it have alcohol in it?” 

Spike shrugged. “I don’t see why not.” 

“Great!” Anya clapped her hands, jumped out of her seat, and sent Xander a quick, “Be back.” 

Xander opens his mouth to protest, but Buffy kicks him in the shin, and juts her head toward their despondent friend. 

He cleared his throat, leaning forward. “So, Will, what’s different with you? Y’know, since we saw each other yesterday…” He adds the second part under his breath, but one more swift kick from Buffy gets him back under control. 

Buffy focused on her friends talking about their lives (admittedly, she hadn’t been around them much recently, what with their almost neverending judgemental looks and arguments concerning her boyfriend), when a loud ruckus from nearby drags her attention away. 

It’s just instinct from years of being a Slayer. Whenever something big happens, you need to know if there’s danger nearby. However, as soon as Buffy sees the group of loud college guys, she immediately wished that she hadn’t bothered. 

Willow also turned around to see who was being so rowdy, and her eyes went wider than usual when she saw them. 

“Is that--” She started to ask. 

Buffy rolled her eyes as she took a long sip from her soda. “Yup.” 

The guys from Lowell House, including one Mr. Riley Finn. 

College life had taken a bit of a downhill slope ever since Buffy had accidentally reported Riley to her advisor. 

Riley hadn’t been expelled, nor had he been relieved of his duty to finish up the final few weeks of the fall semester with Walsh. However, according to the rumor mill, Riley had been put on probation by the college, barred from being a TA for the spring semester-- apparently even after Dr. Walsh had put in plenty of good words for him. 

Even so, word had gotten out (Buffy is ninety percent sure that it was Walsh, but she can’t prove it) that it was Buffy who’d reported Riley in the first place. Some people, like a few female upperclassmen, had given her support. 

However, the general consensus seemed to be that Buffy had been the one to chase after Riley, and when he rejected her, she got her revenge by talking to the school. 

And Riley’s friends in particular loved to run with that narrative. 

“Ooh, look who it is!” One of his more irritating friends, a dark-skinned man who apparently didn’t even need to be drunk to be an asshole, called out. “Little Miss Tattletale.” A few guys snicker at that.

“Hey, why don’t you mind your business?” Willow jutted her chin out as she ineffectively glared him down. 

He comes closer, so that he was fully leaning into Buffy’s personal space. “I could ask the same of your friend, here.” 

Xander pushes himself back from his chair, puffing out his chest to try and intimidate the guy, even though Buffy really doesn’t need help to handle him if she wanted to. One of the other guys-- he looked kind of like Riley, just with darker hair-- came up behind Forrest, and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Forrest, just let it go. She isn’t worth it.” 

“Why? Not like Ri can just let it go.” 

Buffy glared up at him. “I’d listen to your friend if you know what’s good for you. Go away.” 

Forrest scoffed, opening his mouth to respond, when the voice of an angel (and, oh, has that saying been ruined for her) chimed in, “You heard the lady.” 

Spike came up behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist. “Everything alright here?” He probably meant to sound casual, but Spike is utterly incapable of hiding his emotions, and the words came out in a growl. 

Buffy smiled at him. “It is now.” 

Forrest blinked a few times at Spike, as if unsure why he was speaking to him. “What the--” 

“Yeah, sorry about that.” His friend said, dragging him away, also giving Spike a weary look. “We’re gonna be over here.” 

“Uh huh!” Xander called out to him. “You do that!” 

As soon as all of the obnoxious frat guys are away, Buffy’s shoulders slumped.

“You alright?” Spike whispered into her ear. 

“I will be,” Buffy responded, getting up from her seat. She felt antsy, and had the very strong urge to hit something. “I’m sorry, guys. I have to go,” Buffy told her friends, pulling her jacket on. She turned to Spike, “Come on, babe. Let’s go kill something.”  

Buffy breathed heavily after she'd managed to kill the demon with the sharp, retractable skewers in its wrists. 

“You feeling better?” Spike asked her. He’d been nice enough to let her have the kill all to herself this time. 

Buffy shrugged. “A little.” 

Spike leaned in close to her, over the demon’s body, their chests brushing. “Can I help you feel better?” 

Buffy felt exhilaration rush through her, but tried to play coy, “I don’t know. You think you’ve got what it takes?”

Spike’s hand trailed down his chest, before framing his crotch with his fingers. “I think you know I’ve got ‘it,’ and some extra.” 

Buffy gripped the collar of Spike’s duster in her hands, ready to drag him behind one of these trees or graves and take him up on his offer. Then, she noticed something over his shoulder-- 

And tackled Spike to the ground, right before the dart being aimed at him could make contact. 

She looked up, and saw nearly a dozen commandos all dressed in camouflage surrounding her and Spike. She pulls them to their feet as one soldier in particular jumps from the group, rushing over to the dead demon. 

“Damn, it’s dead!” One of the commandos hisses, leaning over the demon corpse. 

“Yeah, that’s kinda the point,” Buffy replies, making sure to keep herself in between Spike and the commandos, though it’s difficult when they’re in a circle formation, and closing in. 

“It doesn’t matter right now. That’s Hostile 17,” Another soldier says, gun aimed straight at Spike. “We need to bring him in.”

“Alive.” Another reminded him. 

The first one shrugged, “We’ll try our best.” 

Buffy gave them a snarky grin. “Yeah, sorry, none of that is happening.” 

One of the soldiers breaks formation, stepping up to her, and allowing his weapon to drop. “Buf-- I mean, ma’am, this is a very serious operation that you’ve stumbled upon,” He sounds familiar, but Buffy doesn’t have time to place his voice at the moment. “You need to step back.” 

“No,” Buffy grinned at him, “I don’t think I do.” Then, with a roundhouse kick, she managed to get the gun out of his hand, and then pushed him back (really with only a small fraction of her strength) and sent him hard into the trunk of a tree. 

Then, all hell broke loose. 

All of the soldiers rushed her at once. 

“Just take the girl down too!” That was the first commando, who threatened to kill Spike. When she got close enough, Buffy made sure to grab his gun from his hand, and used the butt of it to send him into the same tree as his buddy. 

One came up to Spike while she was preoccupied, and he tried to defend himself. He punched the commando, then immediately fell back, clutching his head in pain. 

Only a month ago, Buffy wouldn't've felt a single pang of remorse for the killer no longer being able to kill. But now? Well, she still doesn’t want Spike to kill, and if whatever was keeping him restrained went away, she'd probably have to stake him-- But the fact that he couldn’t defend himself against these goons that are trying to kill him or experiment on him, that makes her blood boil. 

Buffy pushed through the rest of the soldiers, until she picked Spike up fireman style, and ran as fast as possible. 

The closest landmark is Giles’ house, and he was none to pleased to see the two of them-- he hemmed and hawed about what time it was, and does she have any respect-- but Buffy doesn’t care as she drags Spike through the front door, and plopped him down on the couch, leaning the gun she stole against the couch as well. 

“Honey? Are you okay?” 

Spike blinked at her blearily. “I’ve been better.” 

“What on Earth is going on?” Giles asked them, exasperated.

“Those soldier blokes, the ones that did experiments on me, they caught us in the cemetery. It’s only ‘cause of the Slayer I didn’t end up dust,” He shuddered, barely, but Buffy noticed it. “Or worse.”

The two of them continue to argue-- something about what could possibly be worse than death-- but Buffy isn’t with them. 

Her brain is going a mile a minute, still checking Spike over for injuries that he might’ve somehow gotten in one of the few moments her back was turned. She’s checking over every last detail of the commandos, and their attack on Spike, and, to a lesser extent, her. Something was nagging at her, but she couldn’t figure out what. 

Then, just as her hand stilted over Spike’s unbeating heart, the truth stood out to her like a pebble in sand. 

“That was Riley,” Buffy gasped, looking between Spike and Giles, who are both wearing expressions of bemusement on their faces. “Riley’s one of the commandos.” 

“What are you?” Riley asked, his arms crossed over his chest. 

Willow was the one who hacked into the school records to get Riley’s schedule so that Buffy could corner him. He’d tried to be sweet when he first saw her, kind of like he’d been two months ago when he was still hoping they’d go out. 

Then, Buffy’d spilled the beans about recognizing him and his friends (that part was a bluff, but apparently she was a much better liar than Riley) in the cemetery the night before. Then he’d turned into this harsh soldier, attempting to intimidate her with his overbearing height (and, really, had he always been so tall? It seemed insane to have found that quality nice after learning to appreciate the slight build of her vampire). 

Buffy copied Riley, also crossing her arms over her chest. “That’s none of your business.” 

Riley let out a long exhale of breath, and pinched the bridge of his nose in a way very similar to Giles-- and isn’t that a squicky thought. “Buffy, just return Hostile 17 to us. If you do that, I can promise that nobody will look into you and… whatever you are.” 

There was so much wrong with what he’d just said, but Buffy latched onto one. “Hostile 17?” She echoed. 

“It’s dangerous,” Riley agreed. Buffy was starting to see red. “You have no idea what it’s capable of!”

“He has a name. And I know exactly what he’s capable of, even without whatever it was you did–”

“The chip.” Riley murmured, before instantly flinching. Apparently something he wasn’t supposed to reveal to her. 

“Whatever,” Buffy stepped closer to him, meeting Riley’s eyes with her own. “The only way you’re getting to him is over my dead body.”

His expression softened at that, looking almost pitying. “Be careful. They might just do that, Buffy.”   

They get in their first fight-- not snarky banter, or enemies fighting to the death, but their first real-couple fight-- the night after Buffy’s fight with Faith on campus. 

Buffy had been searching near Willie’s when she found her vampire, slumped on the dirty ground of the alley, bruised and beaten. 

He told her that he’d gone to Willie’s when she’d banned him from helping look for the other Slayer (his voice tinged with bitterness). But that the other demons got to him before he could do much more than sit down. Apparently, he wasn’t even good enough to fight back against demons.

What is that supposed to mean, she’d asked him.

Good enough to translate obscure texts, good enough to take care of her friends, good enough for a fuck, he’d said, -- because he knew that being vulgar made her slightly uncomfortable-- but not good enough to do what he’d been doing for the last hundred years. He couldn’t do a job that she was entrusting to Xander. 

She’d let him know that she just wanted to keep him safe from Faith. 

He told her that he could take care of himself. 

She retorted, clearly he couldn’t.

He said that she forgot that he was evil. Not just some pussy-whipped man that she could make do whatever she wanted. 

She said something along the lines of how she could never forget what he was. After all, the only reason they were together in the first place was because some chip implanted by the government forced him to stop trying to kill her. 

Spike said something about how he’s not the only person who’s tried to kill a Slayer, now is he. 

She slapped his already bruised face. 

They stood there for a long moment, both breathing heavily, even if it wasn’t totally necessary, unsure where to go from there. 

It’s a stupid fight, one that seemed to come out of things that were swirling in their own minds, rather than anything either of them had actually said. But, if they’d continued to talk, chances are it would just get worse. 

So, Buffy turned on her heel. She was going to search for Faith, and she told him so. He didn’t follow her, and she didn't ask for him to.  

For the first time in a relationship, Buffy is the one to walk away. 

It doesn’t feel as good on this side either.  

“Watcher!” Spike yelled, slamming Giles’ door behind him. 

Giles rolled his eyes, deadpanning, “Yes, please do come in.” 

Spike ignored him. Nothing unusual about that. “Something’s wrong with Buffy.”

Giles snorted into the nice, warm cuppa he’d made before bed. “You’re just now noticing that?” 

“This isn’t funny,” Spike growled. “I just saw her at the Bronze, something is seriously wrong!” 

Against his better judgement, Giles gestured for Spike to continue, “How do you mean?” 

“She was acting like a totally different person! I caught her dancing with blokes, and when I confronted her about it, she acted like she didn’t even know who I was.” 

Giles sighed deeply. “Spike…”

“No, see, I know what you’re getting at. It’s not that. I spent a hundred years with an unreasonable woman, who followed her pleasures wherever they led her. That isn’t Buffy. Then she went on a whole rant about her muscles and popping me like warm champagne--” 

“Do I really have to listen to this?” 

“And then she asked me if I wanted to hurt her,” Spike continued, seemingly ignoring Giles, “That isn’t normal.”

Giles tried very hard not to consider exactly what Spike just said, and offered, “Perhaps she’s still just stressed from the whole debacle with Faith. It’s only reasonable that she--”

Spike cut him off, “That wasn’t stress! That wasn’t… That wasn’t Buffy!”

“Who else would she be?” 

“I dunno,” Spike shrugged, as if the answer was obvious, “That’s why I came to get you.”

Giles rubbed at his eyes. He wasn’t totally sure that Spike was onto something, but he still felt it necessary to ask, “Let me get this straight. Buffy is acting so oddly, so you decided to leave her alone?” 

“I didn’t. She was with Red and her friend when I left.”

Giles’ eyebrows furrowed. “What friend?”

“Some blonde chit. That’s not the point!”

Giles sighed, “You’re right. It isn’t.”  

When Buffy saw Spike again, through the eyes of another Slayer, she didn’t care about the last time they saw each other. She didn’t care about the barbs they threw, or the hurt she’d felt. 

All she cared about was that he still gave her that soft look that made her feel gooey, and he still had that comforting scent that just screamed, ‘Spike.’ 

And when he held his arms out for her, in front of Giles, and Willow, and a blonde girl that she doesn’t recognize, Buffy rushed up to him, and collapsed into his arms. 

They’ll talk later. Maybe. It didn’t really matter at the moment. 

Right now, she just wanted to take a moment to fortify herself in Spike’s embrace, before she had to kick her own ass, then steal it back from Faith.  

“I’m sorry.” 

Buffy looked up from where she’d been reading her history book at the interruption. “Huh?”

Willow fiddled with her hands, looking down at the comforter on her bed like it was extremely interesting. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being so… unsupportive of you and Spike.”

Buffy sat up from where she’d been laying on her stomach. “You are?” She couldn’t quite keep the suspicion from her voice. Willow hadn’t been quite as brash and intense as Xander when it came to her disapproval of Spike, but she had her own way of making it clear she thought Buffy was doing the wrong thing. Looks that ranged from soft and disappointed to overbearing disgust.

Willow didn’t have either of those looks on her face at that moment. She just looked introspective and… nervous. 

“If you really like him, and he really makes you happy… Well, I shouldn’t be the one to stand in the way of that, just because I don’t understand it.” She fiddles with the hem of her jeans. “Nobody should.” 

Buffy knew she shouldn’t push her luck, but she still does (probably a side effect from all the time she spent with her boyfriend, who didn’t know how to let sleeping dogs (or Slayers) lie). “What brought on this change of heart, Will?” 

Willow hesitated, “You know my friend, Tara?” 

Buffy nodded, remembering the blonde witch who had apparently been the only one other than Spike to realize she wasn’t herself. “Yeah.” 

“Well, we’ve been hanging out a lot. And, well… she’s sort of… said,” Willow finally looked up at Buffy. “Just because I don’t understand your relationship doesn’t mean that I should judge you for it. That isn’t fair, and it isn’t right.”

Buffy gave her a bright smile. “I’m glad that you’ve come around,” Then, she added, “Y’know, I like Tara.”

Willow’s cheeks reddened, “Yeah. Me too.” 

Buffy will never admit this to her friends, but there may have been some lingering traits left over from the spell. 

It hadn’t occurred to her until she was talking to Spike one day after lunch with her mother, and brought up the whole, ‘yeah, and your mother’s a genius’ conversation. Spike had replied that he had no idea what he was thinking. He liked Joyce rather well (questionable naming choices aside).

That had led to some introspection of some of the things Buffy had said during their ‘engagement’ that seemed a little out of character. For instance, her blasé attitude about Spike drinking the ‘blood of the innocent.’ And all of their public displays of affection. Yes, most of them were in front of a nearly blind Giles, but it was still something Buffy cringed to think about actually doing now. 

The Buffy that wanted to get engaged, who wasn’t shy to show off her affections, or stand up for the man she inexplicably loved, had left a trace, but was slowly covered up by rational, normal, shame-filled Buffy. 

What was it she’d told Riley when he found her staring at wedding dresses? She didn’t like Spike, but she sure loved him? 

That isn’t true anymore. 

She knew that he loved his mother, and really liked her own mother. 

He took her ice skating, and pretended like he had no idea what he was doing just so she would hold his hand the whole time. 

He liked talking to her, and enjoyed her humor (her heartburn pun killed). 

Spike left his towels on the bathroom floor, and put blood over his cereal. 

He liked to watch daytime soap operas, even though he really should be sleeping in the daytime, and typically spent his Halloween watching The Great Pumpkin-- when he didn’t have helpless, mind-controlled Slayers fall into his lap (she’d whapped him hard on the arm when he’d said that).

Buffy knew that he got his eyebrow scar from the first Slayer he killed, and his trademark duster off of the second Slayer. 

All of those things put together a picture. A not always nice picture, but a picture that Buffy couldn’t help but find charming. She couldn’t help but like. 

A lot of things that sprouted up from the spell had gotten buried by sanity. 

Buffy’s feelings for Spike weren’t one of them.  

Buffy had no idea how her date night with Spike at the Bronze ended up being hijacked by Anya. 

The two of them had simply been walking towards the club, when they noticed Anya headed in the same direction. Now, over an hour later, the three of them were still sitting together, Buffy and Spike listening as Anya ranted about Xander. Though, the ranting wasn’t helped by the beers that she’d convinced Spike to buy her. 

“And not having sex wouldn’t be an issue, if that, and hanging out with you guys weren’t the only things we ever did,” Anya drunkenly waved her arms around. “And he doesn’t understand why I wouldn’t want to go to a party thrown by Nazis!” 

Spike narrowed his eyes at her, even as Buffy carded her fingers through his hair. “What party?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “A party being thrown by those stupid demon hunter guys.” 

Willow seemed to go back and forth on whether or not the Initiative could be trusted. Xander was firmly in the ‘demon hunters are good’ camp. Which is why they’d decided to go to the party when they found out about it. 

“They are stupid!” Anya agreed. “And prejudiced assholes, that would probably take an ex-demon in as fast as any other demon,” Then she pouted, “Especially one without powers. Boy, I miss my powers.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Spike asked, lower lip pushed out in a pout that was extremely tempting, but Buffy pushed through her urge to bite it. “Did… did you wanna go?” 

Buffy shook her head, “Those guys don’t like me anymore than I like them,” She leaned forward, and pressed her forehead to his cheek, feeling the way he slowly relaxed, “Besides, I had better things to do.”

Anya smiled at them. “You two are a good couple,” Her face turned wistful, “I wish I had that.”  

Buffy laid back on Spike’s pillows, feeling the tension that he’d expertly drained out of her slowly leech back in. 

Spike peered closely at her, leaning up on an elbow. “Alright, what’s wrong?” 

“You mean, other than the fact that I can’t feel my legs?” Buffy grinned at him, but the serious expression on his face caused her to frown, and play with the edge of the blanket that rested over her breasts. “It’s just… Willow told me some things earlier, and I… I don’t know how to handle it.”

Spike raised an eyebrow at her, “Was it about her new bird?” 

“Willow doesn’t have a bird,” Buffy scrunched her nose. 

“Talking about the good witch. Tara?” 

Buffy let out a high-pitched, nervous giggle. “Tara? What-- What about Tara?” 

“They’re together,” Spike said, as if it were obvious, and Buffy felt her eyes bulge out of her head. “I’m guessing she told you because the wolf is back in town, and she didn’t know what to do?”

Buffy considered playing dumb, but instead she let her shoulders slump, and asked, “Has it been obvious to everyone?” 

“I don’t think Harris or the Watcher knows,” Spike shrugged, “I reckon the lot of you are just too close to the situation.” 

“It’s just… Willow is going through this big life stuff, and she’s been so supportive of us lately, and she came to talk to me, and I-- I--” 

“You didn’t handle it well?” Spike guessed. 

“I was just… surprised! I mean… I mean, I thought she loved Oz. And, what, did she not? Was she just… never actually into him?  

“I can’t answer that for you, luv.” He shrugged. “Only Red can. And it’s probably not all that clear to her, either.” 

“I know. And I know that I certainly can’t blame her for who she loves, but,” Buffy groaned, “She was so broken up when Oz left her. The whole reason she did that stupid spell that almost killed Xander and Giles--” And forced you to make a proposal that you didn’t really mean, “And, god, she literally almost let a car run her over. And was all that for nothing? Was she going to let herself get killed for nothing?” 

“Dunno. But, it’s been known to happen,” Spike hesitated, “It happened to me.” 

Buffy narrowed her eyes. “Huh?”

“Before Dru,” Buffy flinched, subtly, at the mention of his ex, but if Spike noticed, he didn’t mention it. “There was a woman. Thought I loved her, but I didn’t even really know her. Barely ever spoke to her before I was proposing marriage,” At Buffy’s incredulous look, he responded, “It was a different time. I was a different man. She rejected me. I was… heartbroken. And that’s when Dru found me.” 

“I don’t know what this has to do with--” 

He shrugged, “You can’t choose who you fall in love with,” He lightly ducked his head, looking up at her through her eyelashes almost… shyly? “Or when you fall in love with them.” 

Buffy felt like there was something more he was trying to say, but she didn't have any time to read into it, because at that moment, Spike’s phone started ringing. 

He groaned, but picked it up anyway. “What?” He barked out, then his voice got softer, “Oh, hey, Red, what--” Spike’s eyebrow slowly inched up his forehead, Buffy being able to hear the loud, frantic sound of Willow’s voice coming out of the phone, then he held the receiver out to her. “For you. It sounds urgent.”  

“Would you like something to drink?” Willow offered Riley timidly when he showed up at Giles’ apartment. 

Riley looked like he wanted to say ‘no’, but when Willow showed up with a tall glass of water, his manners won out, and he grabbed it from her. 

It’s just Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Giles at this meeting. Buffy didn’t want Spike anywhere near Riley, and Anya was still petrified of the commandos. She wasn’t certain if Tara’s absence was due to Riley’s presence, or Buffy’s own, but they didn’t have time to get into that yet. 

After taking a polite sip of his drink, Riley asked Buffy, “Why did you call me over here?” 

“The Initiative captured a demon earlier today on campus. Kind of looks like a dog, but is actually a human.” 

His eyes widened in alarm. “How-- How did you know that? Nobody is supposed to--” 

“It’s Oz. Remember Oz? He was in our psych class. You graded his papers.” Riley looked down, a muscle in his jaw twitched. Buffy sighed, “But you know that already, don’t you?” 

“He turned back into his human guise a little while after we captured him,” Riley admitted haltingly, and Buffy had a feeling that there was more to the story than he was willing to admit. 

“Then, you should let him go!” Willow burst out, “He didn’t hurt anyone!” 

“He probably did,” Riley burst out. “Last night, several members of my squad were attacked by a demon--”

Buffy finished for him, “And Oz matches the description of the demon.” 

“Lots of demons look like werewolves.” Giles protested. 

“Yeah!” Xander added, “Big, hairy, slobbering, it’s not exactly a selective group.” 

“And, besides, Oz wasn’t even out last night!” Willow informed him, “He was with me, all with the non-transformed!”

“With you,” Riley gritted his teeth. “Right,” He looked squarely at Buffy when he said, “Look, I know that you have a soft-spot for Hostiles, but I’m not willing to lose my job, or betray my country to let a dangerous creature run loose!” He blinked a bit, as if unsure why those words had actually left his mouth. 

“I figured that was the case,” Buffy sighed, giving Willow a sympathetic look. “I guess we’re just gonna have to go with Plan B.” 

Riley furrowed his eyebrows. “What’s Plan B?” 

“You’re gonna tell us exactly how we can get Oz out of the Initiative.” 

“Why would I--”

Buffy asked, “How do you get in?”

“There’s an elevator behind a mirror in the hall at Lowell House, but you need a voice command to get in,” Riley answered, then blanched as he realized what he said. “Why would I–”

“If it’s activated by voice command, how did you get in when everyone lost their voices?” Giles queried. 

Riley provided without missing a beat, “There’s a backup staircase. The entrance is next to the elevator.” 

“That’s handy,” Buffy commented, reaching out to him. She took the glass with the truth spell out of his hand. “Now, tell me, how do we get Oz out of his cell?”  

They broke into the Initiative, and got Oz out. 

Unfortunately, they weren’t able to get any of the many other demons out-- the ones who’d attempted to claw at their electrified prisons, and pleaded to be let out. It had been particularly hard for Buffy when she realized that she recognized some of the species-- especially the one, sad loose-skinned demon who reminded her of Spike’s friend Clem, who loved Dawson’s Creek and Bugles. 

“We have to destroy that place,” Buffy looked at each of her friends in turn, her expression serious. They all nod, even Xander, who had been horrified to see the treatment of those demons be applied to one of his friends. “And soon.” 

“What about the Will Be Done Spell?” Buffy pointedly ignored the baffled and worried looks that Giles and Xander sent her. She just focused on Willow, who looked both nervous, but also pleased. Like she was glad that Buffy was asking her about this, and not tucking her away into a box after her last greatest failure. 

“Well, um, actually we,” Willow looked at Tara sitting next to her, and gave the girl a warm smile. Buffy wondered how she could have been so oblivious as to not notice that before now. “Did some research on it the other day. It has some limitations…” 

“Didn’t feel like there were limitations,” Xander huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“It can only affect things that are already there,” Willow tried to explain. “Just… to whichever degree the spellcaster willed them to.” 

“That makes sense,” Anya spoke up. “Giles already has poor eyesight. It wasn’t too far off for him to be blind. And all of the demons that attacked Xander are commonly dangerous species that would be after humans anyway, but were forced to focus in on him. And Buffy and Spike clearly already had the sexual tension going for them before your spell…” Only Xander visibly flinches, but it’s less-so than normal, so Buffy counts that as a win. 

“So, you can’t just will the Initiative into never having existed in the first place.” Buffy summarised. 

Willow nodded, “Right.”

“But… could you will everyone inside the Initiative to leave?” 

Willow cocked her head to the side, and shared a look with Tara. Finally, the meek, blonde witch answered, “That could work.” 

Giles looked at Buffy, head cocked to the side. “Do you have an idea?” 

She nodded slowly. “I think I might.”  

Their plans to end the Initiative come to a sudden, grinding halt when the call comes in from L.A. 

“Why don’t you let me drive you? We could stop for food on the way. Maybe stop for other things…” Spike offered. Again. He’d been making the same offer bi-hourly since Buffy’d first told him that she was chasing Faith to Los Angeles, and, consequentially, Angel. 

“Spike,” Buffy sighed, throwing a shirt into her duffel bag, before she turned around to face him. “I’m coming back.” 

“Of course you are,” Spike waved her off, though she saw the tense set of his shoulders. “I just don’t see why you should have to go on a bus ride all by your lonesome, when I got a perfectly good car for you.” 

“Honey,” Buffy cupped his cheeks in both of her hands as she stared deeply into his blue eyes. She made sure to punctuate each word, “I’m. Coming. Back. 

He pursed his lips, before giving a small nod. He relaxed just a fraction under her touch. “See that you do, Slayer. See that you do.” 

According to the Word of Angel, Buffy had no right to be angry. No right to want revenge for Faith taking her body-- trying to take her life. 

There were several hours that Buffy had no idea what Faith did in her skin, or even who she did it with. She said things to Spike and Tara that were meant to hurt them, and she said them with Buffy’s mouth. 

And since Faith is no longer out there for Buffy to take her anger out on, she goes for the next available option. 

“I have someone in my life now,” She doesn’t reveal who, because that would subtract from her moment, making it about Angel. Again. “Someone that I love. It's not what you and I had. It's--” She stopped, swallowed. “I know him. And he knows me. We’re not perfect, but we work through it. Together.” 

She said it to hurt Angel. She knew that. She wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt her, as much as he continued to hurt her even when they aren’t together anymore. 

But, even as the words left her mouth, Buffy knew without a shadow of a doubt that they were true.  

They went to Giles’ house the night she returned from L.A. It was supposed to be a brainstorming session for destroying the Initiative, but, when they enter the apartment, there’s Angel. 

The others are there too, of course. Giles, Willow, Xander, Anya, and Tara. But he’s at the center, in the middle of yelling about something. 

Buffy didn’t know what it was, because the second that she entered the room with Spike, Angel knew what was going on. 

She wasn’t sure if it was because of how close they were standing or he put two and two together from her rant before leaving Los Angeles or that vampire scent thing (which seemed gross when applied to Angel, but weirdly hot when Spike did it)-- but he knew that she was with the blond vampire.

Angel was livid. 

He yelled at her for making a mistake. For not choosing normal, which was all he wanted for her. 

He yelled at Giles for letting her get involved with Spike (He ignored Xander when he scoffed about how that worked so well the last time, and steamrolled over Buffy when she told him that nobody ever let her do anything). 

Spike tried to step toward Angel, either in some misguided attempt to defend her honor, or in some testosterone fueled desire for a fight. Either way, Buffy put a hand on his chest to stop him, clearly placing herself between him and Angel, and Spike gave her a wounded look that Buffy didn’t know how to interpret with so much going on. 

And Angel barely even noticed. He ranted and raved and said nonsense and this wasn’t his intention when he-- 

He took away a day from her. 

Angel was human, and they were together, and happy. And he took it all back, and made it so nobody remembered but him. 

She still doesn’t remember, even as he described the events of the day. There’s no rush of memories. The spell isn’t broken. But now she knew that it happened. 

No wonder he didn’t think that Faith needed to be held accountable for what she did to her. He’d done the same thing. 

It makes Buffy feel sick, and small. The same way she felt when he broke up with her all those months ago, right when she was really starting to consider a future for them. 

Her friends-- the same ones that had been against Spike from the beginning-- had now set their sights on a new target. Giles glared, Xander spluttered, Willow got all righteously indignant on Buffy’s behalf, and Anya fixed him with a glare that reflected all one thousand plus years she spent as a purveyor of vengeance. 

All Buffy wants to do is curl up into Spike, and that’s significant, isn’t it? As is the fact that Buffy can’t focus on Angel, or his big, pleading, soulful eyes. She’s too focused on how Spike was withdrawing from her. 

“I can’t do this again!” Spike yelled as he stormed out of Giles’ house, Buffy hot on his heels. 

“Do what?” She asked. She hated how whiny her voice sounded. Desperate and pleading in a way that she hadn’t been since the last time Angel stormed in and disrupted her life. 

But Spike wasn’t Angel, and rather than ignore her words, he turned around to face her, and answered, “Play second fiddle. Not again. Not to that wanker. I’ve been second to him my whole sodding life with Dru. I’m not gonna do it again!” 

Buffy gritted her teeth, “I’m not Drusilla!” That’s good. Anger is better than desperation. Anger, with Spike, is nothing new. 

“Don’t you think I know that?” He screeched, and Buffy flinched back, like he’d slapped her. She thought, This is it. The moment when he decides I’ve never been enough. Not to replace his true love. 

Then, Spike’s eyes softened, as if he could read her mind as easily as she could read his face. 

“Buffy,” His voice is soft, and that, along with him using her real name, stole all of the breath from her lungs. “I loved Dru. And when she left me, it broke me. But I got back up again, and I found you. And if you left me, it would destroy me. It-- It would be kinder to just stake me.” 

“I’m not leaving you!” Buffy said, exasperated. “God, I’m with you right now, aren’t I?” 

Spike shook his head, “Only because he turned back time.” He stared at her, searchingly. “Are you really telling me that if he was still human, you’d be here with me right now?” 

“I don’t know!” Buffy burst out, “I’ll never know! He took the day away from me, Spike! That’s so-- It’s just -- I don’t-- I don’t even know how I feel about that right now.” 

His eyes softened minutely, but he still stood stiffly. As if he wanted to run to her, but was holding himself back. 

“You know what I do know? I know that I can’t even stand to look at Angel right now. And that after he told us about what he did, all I wanted to do was go to you. Be comforted by you, not Angel. But then you had to be all dramatic, and throw a big tantrum, so I’m out here consoling you, rather than dealing with my own thoughts!” 

Spike pouted, which was both infuriating and adorable-- which just added to how infuriated it made her. “If I’m so dramatic, then why are you out here?” 

“Because I love you, you big dummy!”

They’re words that she hadn’t been able to say to him since the spell broke. Words that she had managed to tell Angel, but still hadn’t been able to let out to the one person that actually needed to hear them. 

Spike blinked at her, all of the air whooshing out of his sails. “What’d you say?” 

Buffy gave him a soft smile. “I love you.” 

He rushed forward, wrapping one arm around her waist, the other curling into her hair, and pulled her into a deep kiss. 

When they finally break apart-- both breathless, despite the fact that he didn’t actually need to breathe-- Spike whispered, “I love you, too.” 

Buffy can’t help but let out a little giggle. Which was ridiculous, because she’s angry, and sad, and still so busy-- what with the whole Initiative thing still going on. But she’s also ridiculously giddy. A feeling that hadn’t made itself at home within her since the end of that ridiculous spell, that maybe wasn’t all that ridiculous if it led her to this.  “Well, then, that works out nicely, doesn’t it?” 

Destroying the Initiative was surprisingly simple, all things considered.

It didn’t take long at all for every soldier, scientist, and other personnel to leave the Initiative and gather on the Lowell House front lawn after Willow performed the Will Be Done spell-- especially with the added power provided by Tara. 

Speaking of Willow and Tara, the two of them cast a tracking spell on a blaster Buffy stole from one of the commandos to lead Xander, Anya, and Giles to the weapon hold. The three of them raided it for explosives and placed them throughout the labs. In Anya’s case, gleefully. 

Buffy and Spike let the demons out of the cargo hold. Most of them-- even the dangerous ones-- know better than to bite the hands that released them (or however that saying went). Some, though, attacked on sight, and met a swift death at the hands of the Slayer or vampire. And some… well, it was more merciful to send them to the next realm than to push them out of the back tunnel exits they’d found. 

By the time all of the Scoobies and escaped demons are safely away from the Initiative, and Willow released the soldiers from her hold over them, the entire place is up in flames. 

There’d been discussion of it just being the four original group members. But, that idea had quickly been vetoed. The plan couldn’t have been done without Spike, Anya, or Tara. They were a part of their lives now, and so should be able to celebrate with the rest of them. 

They went to Revello Drive for the festivities. Joyce was happy to see them all (maybe minus Giles, who she pointedly avoided eye contact with), and even happier to meet Tara and Anya. She greeted Spike with a small smile that was only slightly strained-- Buffy knew that her mother was still adjusting to her daughter dating yet another vampire, but she at least liked Spike better as a person than she liked Angel. 

That’s something that Buffy could definitely agree with. 

Giles claimed one armchair, and Anya claimed another. Tara was sitting on the couch, with Willow on the ground, and leaning back against her legs. Xander sat on the other side of the coffee table, cueing up the movie he’d chosen to watch first. Buffy was curled up on Spike’s lap on the couch beside Tara (her favorite place to sit), and she only got minimal side eye from Xander. Progress. 

Buffy sighed, pressing her cheek against Spike’s. This was nice. 

Her friends were safe and in a relatively good place (Even though Xander and Anya still had some work to do on their relationship, Willow still flinched back whenever they looked too long at her and Tara-- even if Buffy was trying to make it clear that she supported them, and would be there when she was ready to tell Xander and Giles-- and, according Spike, Giles had been feeling a little neglected in the Watcher role, which apparently was what led to the Fyarl-Giles incident and the many, many occasions she’d caught him with alcohol on his breath. But they’ll figure it out together. They always do). 

The Initiative was destroyed, and hopefully would stay that way (Giles had already sent in an anonymous tip to the Watcher’s Council that there was a new organization out there researching demons for the government-- which would destroy their most beloved need for secrecy. Hopefully they’d be able to pull whichever strings they had to make sure that there was no need for anything to be rebuilt), 

“I’m tired,” She admitted, her eyelids growing heavy. It was easy to be comforted when she was in Spike’s arms, and it was almost never easy for her to feel relaxed enough for sleep. 

“Rest, then, luv,” He told her, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

And he was.