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The clicking of Helly's heels could be heard from Harmony's office as the sound ricocheted through the sterile hallways, slipping through the cracks of the ajar office door.
A Lumon pen was pinched between Harmony's tense fingers, flitting across crisp paper in a measured manner while her eyes remained focused on signing yet another ridiculous permission slip. It was almost mechanical, robotic— a repetition of yesterday's task, and the day before. The echoing of footsteps could be heard approaching, yet Harmony remained unbothered, focusing solely on the boring task at hand. To her, this was just another day at work.
To Helly, this was another day of existing in her own personal Hell. Another day of torture. Another day of boredom. And of course, another day of planning her inevitable demise. Her stride didn't waver as she stepped confidently into Harmony's office, immediately shrugging her arms up in confusion. "You wanted to see me?" Helly questioned, scanning Harmony's unreadable expression.
The Severed floor manager didn't even acknowledge her presence with a glance, let alone let her hand falter for a second as she continued to scribble across paperwork.
"I suggest you leave and re-enter in a manner that doesn't waste my time."
Harmony's tone was monotonous yet Helly understood the sentiment. She paused for a moment, huffed, rolled her eyes and left the room, shutting the door behind her. Within seconds, Helly's knuckles were drumming against the painted wood.
"Who is it?" Harmony's flat voice— though a few decibels louder now— called out.
Helly's temper was beginning to rise. Harmony had specifically requested for Milchick to send her to the office while he prepared MDR for Mark's Music/Dance Experience, yet here Harmony was, wasting Helly's damn time and tearing her away from any minuscule moment of joy.
"It's Helly," she finally called back. Her slim fingers wrapped around the door handle before Harmony even had the chance to ask her to re-enter, and she shoved the door open impatiently the moment permission was granted, "You wanted to see me?" Helly repeated— a twinge of irritation in her tone.
Harmony chose to look up then, stilling her movements while she scanned Helly's demeanour. Her hands were balled into fists at her sides, eyebrows pinched together in what Harmony presumed was annoyance. She was dressed well— a thin, cashmere sweater tucked into a navy skirt, with matching heels. And yet, she embodied a petulant child.
"Yes," Harmony replied simply. She set her pen down and clasped her hands together before placing them on the desk in front of her. The air in the room felt thick; Helly immediately understood that this wasn't a positive sign. She held her breath for a few seconds, waiting for Harmony to speak first.
"Imagine my surprise, Helly, when Milchick informs me that he stumbled upon a stray item, glued to the bottom of your desk last night— an item that doesn't belong in a place of such order." Harmony didn't miss a beat as she slid open the top drawer of her desk, fishing out a small, black notebook.
Helly’s features twisted in a mixture of rage and blame. "Hey! That belongs to me! You have no right!" She bit out.
Harmony’s eyes bored into Helly’s accusing ones as she split the notebook in two, exposing it to reveal a poorly drawn, unfinished map. Helly felt bile rise up in her throat. This was a last resort for her— she was grasping at straws after her suicide attempt— and although it wasn't the most rational idea, it was all she had left. A sliver of hope in the form of graphite on paper.
"This is a fascinating piece of art, Helly. Crude, certainly." Harmony ignored the innie, focusing solely on the object in her steady hands. "However, the dimensions are incorrect. You've sketched Wellness too close to MDR and the elevator is on the wrong corridor, but the intent... the intent is clear. Do you honestly believe this- this childish, clumsy drawing is going to help you, Helly?"
"Give it back, Harmony. It doesn't belong to you," Helly warned through gritted teeth. She watched as Harmony pinched the piece of paper between her index finger and thumb. Before Helly could manage to lunge across the desk, Harmony ripped the makeshift map out of Helly's notebook. She tore it in two, then four, then eight, not stopping until it turned to confetti. Helly froze in shock.
"Another attempt at escape? How quaint. You people are so predictable… Mapping is fundamentally forbidden for a reason, Helly R. This is a blatant violation of your employee agreement," Harmony warned, punctuating the sentence by crumpling up what was left of Helly's map and dropping it into the trash can beside her desk.
Tears began to well in Helly's eyes— an uncontrollable overwhelm of rage. She stood tall across from Harmony, her hipbones digging into the edge of the wooden table. Neither Helly nor Harmony broke eye contact as the innie leaned over the desk, coming to eye level with the Severed floor manager. "I despise you," she calmly spat. "You are the worst of them all."
Helly knew she could attempt to recreate the map. She knew it wouldn't get her anywhere. She felt like a rat in a maze— Stuck.
The quote felt familiar, yet she wasn't sure where she knew it from. A rat in a maze, a rat in a maze... How did it go?
A rat in a maze is free to go anywhere, as long as it stays inside the maze.
Helly felt a pang of nausea.
"You sound like a child crying over a toy they're not allowed to have,” Harmony recovered swiftly, remaining untouched by Helly's harsh words. The poor girl was helpless in her eyes; Helly had tried almost everything at this point and to no avail. Harmony wasn't afraid of her— she pitied her.
The Severed floor manager studied the way the innie straightened out before running a hand through her red curls. Helly's breath was beginning to fill the room in an unsteady rhythm. Harmony hoped that this would finally be her breaking point.
"Sit, Helly."
It was much to Harmony's surprise that Helly didn't have to be told twice; she collapsed ungraciously into the cold leather at an awkward angle, feeling her heartbeat drum in her ears. There was no chance of escape— there was nothing Helly could do. She was trapped.
Harmony observed her with an unsettling lack of emotion, yet Helly didn't fail to catch the glimpse of intrigue in Harmony's eyes as she studied her. The Severed floor manager found it utterly fascinating that Helly persistently fought with a near-violent resistance towards the Severance procedure, and on the other hand, Helena longed equally as hard for escape from her obligation to fulfil her family legacy. Poor Helly didn't realise it, but she was destined to a life of misery. There was nothing worthwhile waiting for her on the other side.
"If it was truly up to me, Helly, you would not be here," Harmony spoke sincerely and Helly could've sworn that she almost heard sympathy in her voice. Although Harmony wasn't telling the whole truth, due to Helly being quite the fascinating experiment, she was still more trouble than worth the effort in her eyes. Harmony was convinced Jame Eagan could've put Helly to better use upstairs, though her opinion on the matter held no real weight.
At the sound of that statement, Helly slowly swung 45 degrees in her chair, facing her with a blank, almost-incredulous look. "Continue."
"Quite frankly, I believe you are incapable of adequately portraying any core principle that this company requires a person to embody," Harmony began, folding her hands neatly back on the desk. She knew better than anybody that sometimes, a little psychological blow can be very effective when standard punishment has been unsuccessful.
Helly scoffed at the accusation. Harmony held back a smirk.
"Helly, we both know that you lack vision, considering that you cannot begin to comprehend why you are here and why the work that you do is so important," Harmony drawled on, chastising the innie. "You may believe that you have wit, but you'd understand by now that trying to escape or harm yourself is futile. To put it plainly, you lack humility, cheer, benevolence, nimbleness, probity and wiles."
Helly shot her daggers.
Harmony threw her arms up in defence. "I'll admit, you do have verve... If only you could find a way to use that in your work here at Lumon."
"Nothing you say is true," Helly angrily fired back, arms crossing over her chest as a show of denial. "Maybe I lack the 'vision' to see why a life in a windowless room is a gift, sure. But if you truly believe that I'm such a failure, why not let me go?" Helly pressed further.
"I told you, it's not up to me—"
"Then who is it up to? My Outie? Why would she risk her life again, knowing that I want to end it?"
"Helly—" Harmony tried, but Helly continued to spiral.
"Is it Jame Eagan? If it's not you, it has to be someone above you. Who is doing this to me? Harmony, you have to help me—"
"That's enough, Helly R!" Harmony pounced on her feet abruptly, slamming her right hand on the desk in outrage. She breathed heavy, silver strands of hair tickling her face. Silence ensued, hanging heavy in the air. Helly didn't dare to say another word, shrinking back into her chair. She never stood a chance against Harmony— her loyalty to Lumon knew no bounds.
The room was still. The seam on the edge of Helly's skirt suddenly became very interesting to her. She picked at the thin loop of thread, digging her nail under it and pulling till it split. An unnoticeable act of rebellion in that quiet moment. The fabric may have been on her body, but she didn’t choose to wear it— her Outie did. Fuck you and fuck your stupid fucking clothes.
Harmony straightened up, clearing her throat as she absentmindedly brushed the hair out of her face. Her tempers felt unbalanced— dread and malice coming out to bite in their own uncontrolled manner. She inhaled deeply, composedly, then sat back down.
To underestimate Harmony's intelligence is to fall into a trap built by the genius. She may have not had nearly enough time to get to know Helly, but she knew Helena very well. Helena never benefitted from being reminded that she was a prisoner— she needed to be treated like a disappointment. The same should've accounted for Helly. However, it didn't.
Helly needed to be broken. She needed to see that her life was empty of hope, of pleasure, of happiness. Her only purpose was working for Lumon and Harmony, being as devoted as you could get, was going to be the one to drill that into her.
"If you want someone to blame, Helly, blame yourself," Harmony finally broke the silence, forcing Helly's eyes to dart up to meet hers. She sounded exasperated; tired of sugar coating her words to make Helly feel just a little bit better about her situation.
“You believe that you are the byproduct of a woman who finds you so utterly inconsequential that she is willing to let you suffer indefinitely just to keep her own hands clean. But the truth is, Helly, you are that woman," Harmony continued. "Every morning at 9 o'clock sharp, you step into that elevator, feeling the soreness in your throat, seeing the bruises on your body. You chose this, Helly. You exist because you make the choice every single day to get into your car and drive to work. The sooner you realise this, the sooner you can stop this exhausting, theatrical rebellion." The words felt like a punch to Helly's gut. She opened her mouth to speak but the lump in her throat made her reconsider.
"I highly suggest that you find a way to transmute your energy into something of substance." Harmony's voice sounded muffled, fighting for dominance with the ringing in Helly’s ear.
The room felt small, suffocating. Like it could cave in on her any moment.
"In other words, Helly, make yourself useful.”
Harmony’s tone was final, not allowing room for argument. She gave Helly one last stern look before picking her pen back up, slotting it between her fingers. Before the innie even had the chance to process her harsh words, Harmony had already moved onto the next task.
There was a metallic taste in Helly’s mouth. She wanted to scream at Harmony; to jump across the desk and gift her a matching bruise around her neck. But the room blurred as she pushed herself up from her chair and when she took her first step, her knees buckled. Helly wordlessly turned to the door, clumsily reaching out for the handle. Her lungs were burning with the need to exhale yet she held her breath, knowing it was bound to come out unsteady and Harmony did not need the confirmation that she had finally won. Helly was done.
She stepped through the threshold into the hallway, pulling the office door tightly shut behind her. Fluorescent lights rained down on Helly, showing up as streaks in her vision. Every new corridor looked identical to the last, an endless maze in which she was the rat— the experiment. A sickening wave of vertigo forced her to stop in her tracks, steadying herself against a wall.
If her outie was choosing this, despite the cuts, the bruises, the scars and the punishments, then Helly had only two options.
Die or accept her fate.
Escaping was never an option.