Chapter Text
It was a dark and stormy night, and Parker was enjoying it in her vents. She loved the break in humidity that came after a long wait for a big summer storm, and the echoes that reverberated around in her vents from the openings on their roof when rain hit it particularly hard. It was soothing, to be in a small space with the thunder cracking overhead.
She was almost asleep when she heard the slam of a door, which meant Eliot was coming home from wherever he had been. They were between jobs, which meant Eliot was probably volunteering at a soup kitchen or something. He liked to “be of use to society” even when they weren’t taking down rich assholes.
Parker decided she would go down and greet him, and say goodnight to Hardison too. She wasn’t in a bed mood, and with the storm she really wanted to be in the vents tonight. She did so very rarely now, but every so often she just wanted a night alone.
She dropped out in the kitchen, expecting to find Eliot there, fixing himself a snack. However, she dropped into a dark and empty room. She listened for a moment, before hearing noises from the bathroom. She crept past, and saw the door was cracked. She could hear Eliot speaking softly, but couldn't make out what he was saying.
She poked her head in. “Eliot?”
He startled, turning around to face her. “Jesus, Parker. Warn a guy next time, alright?”
She rolled her eyes. “You would have had a warning if you hadn’t put WD-40 on these hinges.”
“Parker, normal people don’t need to have squeaky hinges in order to not startle their partners at 12:24 in the morning.” Eliot whisper-yelled back.
“Why are you whispering? Hardison is still up playing his elf game.” Parker frowned.
Eliot sighed. He pointed at the sink, currently overflowing with bubbles. And in the midst of all of them… “A cat!” Parker exclaimed, immediately stepping further into the bathroom. “Oh my god, so fluffy! Where did you get it?” Parker may not have been a fan of horses growing up, but she did love cats.
“He was taking shelter under the awning out front. Figured I would take him in from the rain, get him bathed and warm, and in the morning take him to the shelter.” Eliot said, turning back to the sink.
“Wait, we’re not keeping him?” Parker’s face fell. “But you saved him.”
Eliot looked at her with tired eyes. “Parker, we can’t have a pet. You know that, with our lifestyle?”
Parker knew she was going to need reinforcements. “Stay here.” She disappeared, leaving Eliot in the bathroom with the cat. She ran through the house, bursting into Hardison’s office. “Hardison! Eliot brought home a cat, we can keep him, right?”
Hardison just about leapt out of his chair. “Holy hell, woman! You, what? Eliot brought home a cat?” He turned back and shut down his game, mumbling to himself about “the damn WD-40” and “why so goddamn early”.
He followed her to the bathroom, where Eliot had since drained the sink and had the cat, which Parker could now clearly see was in fact a kitten, wrapped in a towel.
“Well I’ll be damned. That is a feline.” Hardison said, eyes wary. “And we ain’t keeping it?” He looked at Eliot, watching him closely.
Parker put on her best pout. “Please, Eliot? That pretty baby can’t go to a shelter. He’ll get dirty and be sad and never get adopted.”
Hardison nodded. “She has a point.”
Eliot scowled. “With our lifestyle, we can not have a pet. Not long term.”
Parker grinned. “But we can short term! We don’t have a job right now. We can foster him, and adopt him out from here, and then he won’t get dirty and sad.”
Hardison smiled at her. “I like how you think, Park.” He turned back towards Eliot. “Come on, E. It makes sense…”
“Fine.” Eliot growled. “Fine. We can foster the cat. Hardison, you are in charge of advertising him online. Now, I want to go to bed. Tomorrow I can go get supplies, just enough for a week or two. I’m going to leave him in here, where he will be safe and secure.”
Parker locked eyes with Hardison. They were going to keep this cat.
~~~~~
When Eliot went out the next day for supplies, Hardison began brainstorming with Parker how having a cat would actually work. He could set up any number of automated systems for feeding and watering and cleaning a litterbox, and even some toys for enrichment, the fact remained that they just had unpredictable schedules.
With Nate and Sophie having moved back to Boston not that long ago, they no longer had a good option for cat-sitting in a pinch in Portland. All of them were wary of letting anyone into their space. It seemed like an unsolvable problem.
“Toby!” Parker hopped down from her perch on the couch back. “Eliot trusts him. He can come here, or we can bring the kitty to him!”
Hardison chuckled. “You are a genius, Woman, I gotta say.” He loved her, and her brain. It was strange, but beautiful, just like the rest of her. He was just finishing up the presentation when Parker poked at him.
They had been left with the cat, and Parker had somehow scrounged up a tiny little hat that fit him, and had taken a picture of him in front of one of her many practice safes. “Put this in your slideshow!” She said enthusiastically.
Hardison couldn't help but laugh as he moved the picture from her phone to his computer, adding a caption that got Parker snorting. The cat had perched itself on his desk, curled up into a little white mound that resembled a cotton ball. Hardison wanted to pet him, but was worried about disturbing the delicate balance of the creature.
Eliot walked into the apartment to the two of them standing as though ready to give a briefing, the cat around Parker’s shoulders. “What is going on here?” He asked in that gruff voice of his, setting the bags down at the door.
“Sit down, sit down. Hardison, run it.” Parker said, moving to pull Eliot to the briefing table. She pushed him down, the cat remaining on her shoulders through all of it. He scowled, but sat, always willing to go with whatever Parker asked of him.
Hardison ran through the presentation, listing all of the reasons he and Parker could come up with for why keeping the cat was the best option. Mostly Hardison spoke, Parker butting in every few slides. But she took over the Toby proposal, Hardison happy to let her be the one to suggest someone else in their space.
By the end, Eliot looked mostly convinced, or at least how Hardison had hoped Eliot would look if he was convinced. “Finally, this.” He hit the button one more time, the image coming up.
Eliot was stoic, and had a great poker face. But even he cracked a smile at the silly little picture of the white cat with the ski mask on. He reined it back in, but not fast enough. Parker was already shaking him in joy.
“Cool it.” He said, putting his hands up. “Okay, fine. You guys can have a cat. But after this morning, he’s not my responsibility. It’s up to you to find a vet and name him and everything.” He said, glancing between them.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got a name already.” Parker piped up, turning her head and giving the cat a forehead kiss. “His name is John Rushworth Jellicoe, aka 1st Earl Jellicoe.” She smiled. “I’ll call him John for short.”
Hardison’s mouth dropped open. “Wha- who the hell is that?”
Parker smiled. “He was a Royal Navy officer in the early 1900s.” She was making her way over to the bags to dig through them, Hardison suspecting there were going to be a lot of not so strictly necessary items in there.
Hardison locked eyes with Eliot, who just shrugged. “Ooookay, I guess. John Rushworth Jell…”
“Jellicoe. Aka 1st Earl Jellicoe.” Parker finished for him. “I’m calling him John.”
Hardison nodded. “John. I can remember John.” He looked at Eliot, who was shaking his head and walking away. Parker was still digging through the bags, looking at all what had been acquired for little John.
Yeah, this cat would be good for her.
~~~~~
Eliot had known from the moment he saw that little raggedy ball of wet fur that it would become his roommate. He had put up a front as much as he could, but that damn picture had been enough to break him.
But it wasn’t going to be his responsibility. That much he was sure of. He was responsible for so much already, including making sure Parker and Hardison took care of themselves. They had gotten much better, but sometimes they still went down their respective rabbit holes and he had to drag them back to the real world.
Of course, not caring for the cat didn’t translate to not caring about the cat. He kept an eye on the litter box, and the food and water bowls. When he noticed issues in the first few weeks with the cat’s bowel movements, he may have gone on down a rabbit hole of his own. If he started making the cat’s food at home, with veterinarian guidance of course, well he was just helping out. It still wasn’t his job. He was just doing it because he wanted the best for his roommate.
So, maybe the cat liked him. Parker was definitely his favorite, he could and most certainly did spend hours around her neck. He liked climbing Hardison, but after discovering his mild cat allergy, he didn’t spend as much time loving the cat.
Which meant that when Parker opted to go into the upper vents, and Hardison was locked away in his cat dander free office, Eliot found himself with a lap full of cat. Parker liked to take John into the lower vents, to try to “scare away the mice” that Eliot knew they didn’t have, but she was smart enough to not try to take him into the upper vents.
“Alright Mr. Jelly, what sport do you want?” He pulled up the various sports games going on. “We’ve got all sorts of options. Rugby? Yeah, let’s go with rugby.” He pulled up the game, getting ready to settle in for a good match between two teams full of men in their peak physical forms.
Throughout the match, the cat remained settled on his lap, even as he got… spirited. By the end of the match, he had transitioned to laying down, the cat on his chest. “Just a little nap, Mr. Jelly. Not for too long.” He pet the cat a few times, and then let his eyes close. He was awoken by a hard poking at his shoulder.
“Mr. Jelly, huh?” Parker was giggling as she crouched next to him, rousing both him and the cat in question from their respective naps. After stretching, the fluffball transferred to Parker’s shoulders, while Eliot just glared.
“You weren’t supposed to hear that.” He grumbled.
“Man, I have eyes and ears all over this place, and she’s always in the damn ceiling. Did you really think we were never going to hear?” Hardison appeared above him. “I think it’s cute. Like you.” He poked a finger at Eliot’s nose.
Parker kept giggling. “You’re two peas in a pod.” She looked at Hardison. “That’s the expression, right?”
Hardison was smiling down at her. “Yeah, Parker. You’re right, they are two peas in a pod.”
Eliot grumbled more as he sat up, but he wouldn’t deny it. He did like the cat. “Come on, dinner time.” He felt his joints pop as he stood up, shaking the last bits of sleep off.
“Are we eating better or worse than Mr. Jelly tonight?” Hardison asked, the smile evident even in just his voice. Parker giggled, and Eliot rolled his eyes.
“Worse, if you keep making fun of me.” He said over his shoulder.
“Nah, you love us. And Mr. Jelly.” Parker said, stepping up behind him. “And we all love you.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek, and skipped past him.
Eliot smiled, feeling Hardison wrap an arm around his shoulders. “Yeah, we do.”
He had always been bad at showing his love through words. But he would cook all of them a damn good dinner, probably the Us Soup for his partners. Even the little white cat that had stolen his heart, just like the two humans had years ago. Yeah, he could show his love like that.