Chapter Text
Prologue:
2 months before
It was surprising how soon after the last story that Nox and Violet’s book began to glow. Usually, Chase would wait until at least the next day before jumping into a new story he was entirely unprepared for.
If he was annoyed about that, it was because he was tired and wanted to rest, and it had nothing to do with the way that his napping spot in his box still held the lingering scent of Chase’s hoodie, from where he had curled up on it last night. Why would he be worried about the scent vanishing while he was gone when he didn’t care about the idiot in the slightest?
And he definitely didn’t mourn the loss of Chase’s hoodie when he gave it back a few hours ago in that desert book.
So what if having Chase’s eyes on him while he danced made his heart race? That was just normal nerves. Probably. It was definitely, probably a normal stare that Chase was giving him, not one filled with want and desire, because that would be silly. Chase didn’t want him. He was probably just jealous of Nox’s elegant, showstopping dance moves. That had to be it.
Not that Nox wanted Chase to want him. Obviously.
Anyway. He pushed the treacherous thoughts from his mind, climbing down from his spot to enter whatever stupid book Chase had chosen tonight.
But when he did meet Violet in the light of the book’s glow, it looked… wrong, somehow. It was still glowing, which meant Silver’s key must have been in use, but it was sort of flickering, as though confused.
“What do you suppose that means?” asked Violet.
Nox frowned. “No idea.”
“Care to find out?” she offered.
“Yeah, sure.” Nothing could actually hurt him in the books; it would be fine.
So, he entered the book, wondering what he would be met with.
The plot of the book didn’t seem to be one Chase would usually pick, with its pirates and fight scenes and such. Perhaps it was another one of his pesky friend’s choices.
Nox appeared on a boat. Ugh. Definitely not Chase’s choice. That idiot did have one valid opinion, which was his distaste for boats.
Nox’s character was supposed to find the hero and heroine out on the sea and kidnap the hero in order to win his affections, or something like that. How that was supposed to work, Nox had no clue. The villainess must have a lot of faith in Stockholm Syndrome.
As much as he wanted to just up and leave, what with all the water surrounding him, Violet would not be pleased with him if he did. So, he put up with it, making a mental note to complain to her about the things he does for her when he got home.
When he finally got within close-ish proximity to the hero’s boat, however, he didn’t see Chase at all. Instead, through a copper spyglass, he saw Chase’s useless friend, standing beside a startlingly likely reason the spell was behaving differently tonight.
Silver.
She was right there. In the book. Talking to Deacon. Who was blushing like a madman.
Nox was torn between anger about Deacon’s obvious attraction to Nox’s sister, and fear that she would see him, recognise him and expose him for what he was.
The latter won.
Silver was way too good for Deacon anyway, and he would know it. Besides, he was obviously just freaked out by seeing Silver as a human girl, the way he always freaked out around human girls in stories. The idiot.
So, before he could risk being seen by Silver any more than he already had, he left. They would be none the wiser to Nox’s presence in the book.
---
One:
1 month after
Chase lived in a haze. He didn’t know how long it had been. It felt like forever, but also no time at all. Nothing felt real, nothing since he had sat in that room with its cruel fluorescent lights and stench of metal. Since he said goodbye to his mother, held her hand as her body went limp, finally free from pain.
He barely remembered what happened next. It was a blur of Deacon, Deacon’s parents, doctors, Grandpa, frantic movement and flashing lights and soft, pitying touches.
Each day, he woke up, sometimes with sun shining through the window, sometimes with only darkness and silence. Sometimes Deacon was there, sometimes Grandpa, sometimes Silver or Goldie or Bronze.
And they’d try to talk to him, but nothing was real, so he’d just stick to one- or two-word responses. They made sure he ate, showered, was taken care of. And he tried to feel grateful, he tried to give them something in return—a smile, a conversation, anything to show their hard work meant something—but it was so, so hard.
The slightest movement drained all of his energy. And he hated it, hated himself for it, but he just couldn’t. He wanted to be normal so badly, but he’d tried for so long and he just couldn’t see the point anymore.
Besides, nothing was real.
Sometimes, he would hear hushed voices from above him in the tower room, and if he had the energy, he would listen in. Deacon was still trying to help Silver and the others reunite their family.
Each reminder was another crack in his heart. Chase wasn’t helping. He was selfish, staying in bed all day, when he’d promised Silver he’d find them.
He hadn’t given up, he just… couldn’t stand it. Couldn’t stand going into books or even thinking about it because he had failed, he didn’t get enough narratonin, he didn’t find Silver’s siblings, he didn’t make his wish in time.
If only he’d just tried harder.
Been less of an idiot. Messed around less.
Distantly, he remembered a voice. “You did the best you could.” And a tear escaped him. Chase rarely cried anymore, but the visions of blue eyes and soft lips and gentle arms broke through his haze.
Chase would dream of him. His eyes and his voice and his scent. But they would crumble in front of him, leave him, tell him he wasn’t real and Chase didn’t know him and he shouldn’t have ever fallen in love with him. Because he would leave.
And he’d wake up crying, or gasping if he was out of tears, and he would miss Buddy with his whole soul, but he knew he couldn’t see him. He couldn’t explain this to Buddy, and he couldn’t risk falling in love with him even more, and he couldn’t risk Buddy leaving. It would hurt far too much, and Chase wouldn’t be able to come back from that, on top of everything.
He had to protect himself.
He had to punish himself.
---
Silver heard soft sobs from below her. Most of the time, she heard nothing from Chase. This was hardly better.
As she often did, Silver climbed down from the tower room, making her way to Chase’s bed, where he laid, curled up in the corner.
“Chase?” She said softly, crawling around to sit beside his face. She placed a hand on his cheek. “Chase, can you hear me?”
He choked out another sob, followed by a broken “S-Silver.”
“Yes. What happened?”
“I-I’m sorry,” he said, and her heart broke.
“Chase, you have nothing to be sorry for.” She patted his face, attempting to wipe a tear away with her tiny hand. She knew how they both feared the water.
“N-No, I do! I pr-promised you… And I promised Mom, a-and I-” A sob wracked through his body, cutting him off.
“You did everything you could. You saved me, and Bronze, and Goldie, and we will always be grateful. None of us are upset with you. You did your best, Chase.”
A strangled noise escaped him, and if Silver could cry, she would have.
Chase’s volume gradually crept higher, until he threw his head to the pillow to muffle it. “A-And Buddy…” he gasped, “he’s gonna… he’s gonna hate me… cause I just l-left and he doesn’t know a-anything!”
She didn’t know what to do with that. She tried anyway. “Listen, Chase. You and Buddy care for each other, yes?”
Chase hiccupped. “Sil, I love him so much. I-it scares me. I can’t-”
Oh. A human’s romantic love was difficult for her to understand. She tried anyway. “He will understand. You would understand in his place, I know it. And I know he is a good person, because I know you wouldn’t love someone who didn’t deserve it.”
He kept crying, but there were less full-body sobs, now.
“W-What if I can never go into books again? What if it’s too much? What if- What if I never s-see him again?” Chase’s voice was so… small.
“You will,” she said, “You will see each other again. You love him. And this pain you feel, it will become manageable. You will get through it, because you are the strongest person I know.”
“What if I don’t want to love him? I- I don’t want him to love me. It’s like, the best feeling, but also it scares me so, so much, Silver. It… It hurts way too much when people leave.”
“I am not leaving,” she said, “not ever. And you do not know that he will. But, even if you do lose him…” She was taking a massive risk with what she said next. “Do you regret loving your mother?”
“W-What?! Of course not!” Chase sounded almost offended.
Silver continued. “You would not take back any of it, right?”
“No. I wouldn’t. Every bit of pain I feel is worth loving her.”
Silver nodded. “Exactly. We love because it is worth the risk of loss.” She was thinking of her siblings. She would love them, in every scenario, in every life, no matter if she had to lose them in every single one.
Chase let out another sob. “Thank you, Sil.”
“We will be alright,” she said. And she meant it.
Chase cradled her to his cheek in a hug. And they stayed that way, as Chase’s breathing started to even out, and gentle snores began to escape him.
The next night, Silver was considering how to help her best friend. Maybe she could ease his guilt about just one thing.
The one thing she could do—talk to Buddy.
In the past when her or her siblings had gone into books, he didn’t show up, but what other option did she have, other than to try?
So she confronted Bronze about her plan. He seemed reluctant, saying he wasn’t so sure it would be a good idea, or if Buddy would even talk to her. But, eventually, he agreed to help after seeing her pleading eyes.
For the second time since she’d known Chase, she entered a book.