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December 25, 2018 – At the Diaz Household
Eddie has received many Christmas gifts. He’s always been grateful, even if it’s not what he wanted. He might not be able to pinpoint the best gift he’s ever received, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is grateful. This Christmas should mark one of the best gifts he has ever received. And yet…
Shannon is back. Shannon is back and Eddie let her back into his and Chris’ lives again. Shannon is back and Eddie let her back into his and Chris’ lives again and Eddie is trying not to freak the fuck out.
He’s so confused. He should be happy. He is happy. Shannon is back. Shannon is back and they have since moved inside, away from the Christmas tree in the front yard. Shannon is back and she’s sitting on Eddie’s couch, in the spot that Buck usually sits - it’s not as if that’s Buck’s spot - and Chris is showing her the video games he likes, video games that he usually plays with Buck – and it’s not as if video games are only reserved for Buck – but all that is to say is that it’s jarring and Eddie is trying not to freak the fuck out.
The air feels hot, even though it’s December, quite literally right in the middle of winter. The air feels hot and it feels as if someone is sitting on his chest and he can’t quite catch his breath. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think he was having a heart attack. But he’s not. And if his mind supplies him with the unnecessary information that his physical responses to a day that should be peaceful is that of a panic attack, then his mind is wrong. He isn’t having a panic attack. Eddie Diaz does not panic.
He just needs to breathe. He needs to breathe and he needs to not be in this room for five fucking seconds. He needs to not freak the fuck out.
“Hey Shan, I just need to answer a call for a second. Are you all good on your own if I go outside?” Eddie asks, trying to keep his tone steady, not wanting to expose the way he feels, a feeling so contrasting to the way he should feel on what should be one of the happiest days of his life to date.
“Go,” she nods, “I think I’ll be getting taught the history of video games over here for a while.”
“It’s an important lesson,” he teases, though it comes out strained. He points his head to the front door, and then all but sprints through the front door. He counts down the seconds until he finally wrenches open the front door, practically jumping out and crashing into –
“Buck?”
Buck freezes, before looking up at Eddie with a caught look on his face. “Eddie, hi. What… why… what are you doing here?” Buck asks, rising up to meet Eddie face to face, hands behind his back. He looks different then when Eddie usually sees him, in the few months of knowing him. In Eddie’s mind, Buck is always in either his uniform or casual clothing. Today, he seems to have switched it up, wearing a dark shirt under a light checkered coat. He looks nice.
“What am I doing at my own house?” Eddie teases, a grin forcing its way onto his face as Buck’s cheeks turn red. Buck blushing is never a simple process. His birthmark darkens first, then his cheeks, then the heat slides all the way down his neck, before disappearing below his collar. Eddie wants to see where the blush goes, which is a completely normal platonic thought to have thank you very much. He’s a medic. He’s curious. It’s anatomy.
“Sorry,” Buck mumbles, smiling shyly and looking down. “That was a stupid question.” Eddie grins.
“So, tell me. What are you doing at my house? I know I said you have an open invitation, but it’s Christmas. Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
“Yeah, sorry, I’m on my way to Bobby and Athena’s. I just wanted to stop here and give you your present first.” Eddie’s chest feels heavy once again, only this time, it’s not uncomfortable.
“You got me something?” He asks, a pleased smile turning upwards. “I didn’t know. I would’ve gotten something for you too.”
“Nah, you’re all good.” Buck smiles. “I just saw it at the mall last week and thought of you and Chris.” There goes his heart again. At the mention of how much Buck cares for Chris. Not at the idea that Buck saw something and thought of him. Obviously.
“Well, you didn’t have to.” Eddie clears his throat. “But thank you.”
Buck grins, moving his arms out from behind his back and holds out a small, wrapped gift. “Here, open it.”
Eddie takes it from his hands, holding eye contact with Buck for a few too many seconds before lowering his gaze down to the item in his hand. It’s badly wrapped, there’s tape everywhere and the blue edges of the wrapping are paper crinkled and making weird shapes that do not match the solid rectangular shape of the object inside. Eddie thinks it might be the best gift he has ever received.
He trails his finger over the wrapping paper, letting the feeling of crinkled paper consume his senses for just a second, before he starts carefully tearing away at the poor wrap job. The more he opens it the more he’s sure it’s a video game or DVD of some sort, though he still doesn’t know which.
Only when it’s fully open does he look at the name on the cover: Punch Planet. The game Chris has wanted since it came out last November. He heard one of his school friends mention it and suddenly it was all he could talk about for a solid month, before something else caught his interest, but he still brings it up from time to time. Eddie isn’t quite sure how Buck even knows Chris wanted it.
“How-” Eddie swallows, his throat suddenly dry. “How did you know Chris wanted this?”
Buck grin turns into a soft smile. “He’s only told me about it about a hundred times. I’m pretty sure it was one of the first things he asked me about when he found out I played video games.”
Eddie suddenly feels breathless. Someone in the world cares about his son more than just as being Eddie’s son, and that someone is the man standing in front of him. Instead of trying to come up a reply, he wraps his arms around Buck, hugging him tight. Buck startles for just a second before he wraps his arm around Eddie back. He can only just bring himself to whisper a quiet, “Thank you,” in Buck’s ear. Buck’s just squeezes him tighter in response.
They linger like that for probably a moment too long, just basking in the feeling, until Eddie’s front door swings open. They both jump apart, turning to stare at the interruption. Shannon stands in the doorway, her mouth open, as if she was about to say something before she stopped.
Eddie feels caught. He’s unsure why. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. He was just hugging his best friend. Totally innocent. So why does he feel like he just got caught cheating on his wife?
Shannon closes her mouth, clearing her throat before opening it again. “Sorry Eddie, um, Chris wanted me to make breakfast, but I’m not sure where anything in your kitchen is.” Buck does, his brain supplies unhelpfully. “Eddie?” she repeats, because he’s still just staring at his wife.
He jumps, remembering that he is in fact a functioning human being with adult responsibilities and a son to feed and a wife. “Sorry, uh, Buck, this is Shannon. Shannon, this is Buck. He’s my friend from work.”
“Hi,” Buck offers awkwardly, a friendly smile on his face.
“Hi.” Shannon replies, a tight smile lining her face. “Eddie?” she repeats once again.
“Right. Sorry Buck, I know you have to get to Bobby and Athena’s, I’ll let you go now. Thanks again for the gift.” Buck just smiles in response, nodding at Eddie before walking off to his Jeep.
Eddie turns around to enter his house. “Let me just put this down and I’ll head into the kitchen with you.” Shannon nods, before he turns towards Chris. “Hey Chris, look what Buck got us.”
If Eddie was looking, he would’ve seen the way Shannon’s smile faltered for just a second, before schooling her face into a neutral expression. But Eddie doesn’t look. Instead, he looks at the way Christopher’s face lights up with joy, excitement at finally receiving the thing he’s wanted for over a year now. Eddie’s insides turn warm and gooey and fuzzy. He hardly even remembers the chest crushing feeling from before. No, instead of feeling like he’s on the verge of freaking out, he’s standing there with a wide smile on his face, almost matching the one on his son’s face.
Walking into the kitchen, Eddie thinks Buck’s present is the best Christmas gift he’s ever received.