Work Text:
September 2028
They’re out on a pretty ordinary picnic, absent-mindedly eating sandwiches (and Kenji downing a protein shake), when it happens. The mountains gnaw at the horizon, and the sun is crawling to bed beneath the soft, grey clouds. Ben slips an arm around Kenji’s shoulders, and Kenji instinctively nestles his head into Ben’s chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat.
And it's from there, Kenji’s safest place in the world, that Ben asks a question that changes his life forever.
“Do you wanna get married?”
And before Kenji can stop himself, he’s blurting, “No.”
Ben’s face is the picture of sadness, but he chokes out an, “Oh— okay.”
“Nonono, Ben— wait!” The words tumble out of Kenji’s lips in their haste to take it all back. “I— Yes, Ben, I do! Obviously I do, you’re like— the love of my life, but I—” Kenji’s head returns to the safety of Ben’s chest with a soft groan. “I wanted to propose. I had a whole speech planned out, Darius and Yaz helped me with it, and I...”
“Let’s hear it then.”
Kenji blinks, a little taken aback. “You— now?”
“Go on, pretty boy,” Ben says, and Kenji practically falls onto one knee.
Clearing his throat, nerves flooding every cell in his body, he opens the speech in his notes app, and says, “Okay. Here goes.”
“I planned this out, because I wanted it to be perfect, and you know how I stammer when I’m nervous. But no matter how much I want to perform and put on my best self for you, you’ll love me for who I really am. The true, unmasked Kenji. Stammer and all. It’s one of the many things about me that you’ve taught me to love. And my loyalty. My kindness. My wild side.” Kenji gives a soft chuckle, and Ben returns the sound. “You bring out the best in me, and I can only hope I bring out the best in you.”
“I do,” Ben agrees.
“Ease up, Benny boy, we’re not at the wedding chapel yet,” Kenji says, making them both laugh some more — and with Ben, his face perfectly stenciled by the sunset, smiling by his side, it suddenly feels a lot less scary to tell him just how much he means to him.
So he outpours it. Every word. Every syllable declares, with a soft voice built for a life of peace like this, how much Kenji loves him.
When he’s done, Ben is in tears, and Kenji is too. His voice can’t stop wobbling, and his knees shake so much he could pass out right now, but he looks Ben right in the eyes, and says, “Benjamin Fitzgerald Pincus... Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?”
“If,” Ben says, steadying himself on Kenji’s knee and the seat of his wheelchair as he pushes himself onto one knee, “You will make me the happiest man in the universe and marry me.”
Kenji can’t say yes enough times. Even though he’s pretty sure Ben heard him the first time, he keeps murmuring the word into Ben’s lips as his hands cradle the tears falling from his eyes like raindrops after a scorching sun, planting new seeds of hope and life and renewed chances. His knees buckle, sending them both sprawling across the picnic blanket, but he doesn’t care. A euphoric laugh explodes from his throat, but he doesn’t care. All he cares is that Ben — his fiance! — loves him and Kenji loves him back, and that’s all that matters right now.
But someday, things will change. They’re kissing, but Kenji is walking, arm in arm with Ben, up the aisle. They’re kissing, but Kenji is watching Ben cradle their tiny children in his almost comically massive arms. They’re kissing, but Kenji is basking in the sunset, side by side with Ben on twin deckchairs, while their grown up kids run across the lawn with their grandbabies giggling in tow. They’re kissing, and Kenji’s life unfurls in front of him up a hill, and he’ll conquer it, step by step, with Ben always by his side.
He feels Ben’s grip grow tighter, his body swaying, and Kenji takes that as the signal to maneuver them both comfortably onto the ground. He could do with lying down anyway. His heart is pounding so hard, it’s a miracle he hasn’t passed out.
“Do you want to snuggle?” Ben asks.
“Fuck yeah,” Kenji says, and as Ben pulls him onto his chest, right on the spot where Kenji can hear his heart beating, Kenji couldn’t think of any other place he would rather be.
He remembers almost losing Ben. He remembers the lonely, metal walls of the hyperloop, and feeling like he and Ben were the last two people in the world. His own heartbeat doubling speed to make up for the slowing of Ben’s. Watching Ben slowly fade away could’ve wrung out Kenji’s organs and left them in a discarded pile at the bottom of a trash can, and Kenji’s dread grew like a bloodstain.
Yet it was all worth it to sit against the wall and feel Ben’s head rest on his shoulder. He would’ve done it a million times over, dragging Ben through forests of fire, just for that one touch.
And how he’s here — really here, and he’s going to stay. Forever. They won’t feel their heartbeats die in their chests again.
And like the world’s biggest loser, Kenji starts crying.
“Kenji? Honey?” Ben’s hands pause on Kenji’s body, coming to cup his face and wipe the tears away. But Kenji firmly presses his face into Ben’s chest, and hangs onto him with all the strength of someone protecting everything they have to lose.
“Hey— hey, Kenj, it’s okay,” Ben soothes. “It’s okay to cry.”
“I love you,” is all he can get out through noisy hiccups and desperate sobs. They’re the kind of throat-aching, ab-contracting sobs that rock his entire body, and he clings to Ben’s shirt with all his might.
With the patience of a saint, Ben waits for the storm to be over. He cups Kenji’s hands in both of his, stroking away the tears when they roll into his thumbs, and kisses the tip of his nose. It’s perfect. He’s perfect.
“What brings this on?” Ben asks gently.
“I just— I just love you,” Kenji says, his voice still wet and wobbling. “I never want to lose you. Ever. I don’t know if I could handle it.”
And he means it. Ben is so much to him. He’s his heartbeat, his soulmate, the love of his life. No one has ever meant this much to him, and it terrifies him. It washes him in a cold, dark dread that plunges him into an ocean of doubt, and he needs Ben to pull him from the tide before he lets Ben slip through his grasp— again— and the words, “Ben, are you... are you sure about this?” slip out of Kenji’s mouth.
Ben’s face goes from blissfully happy to shocked in a heartbeat. “What?”
“You want— you really want...? I mean— me?”
“Kenji.” Ben’s face is suddenly serious, and Kenji’s stomach twists with the impending fear he’s done something wrong. “Shut up.”
Kenji collapses into a small fit of nervous laughter, his forehead thunking onto Ben’s chest.
“I want you because I love you. Okay?” Ben says, rubbing his hand up and down Kenji’s back. “I love you. You’re the person I want to grow old with.”
“With— with barbeques and desk chairs on th— the back porch?” Kenji sniffles into Ben’s shirt.
“Whatever you want.”
Kenji laughs wetly into Ben’s chest. “Whatever you want, too.”
“We’re in this together,” Ben reminds him.
And Kenji feels five years old when he says, “You promise?”
Ben kisses Kenji’s forehead. “I promise.”
“That means no reckless bullshit from you, Pincus,” Kenji says, too happy to be firm with him.
“Okay, okay,” Ben says playfully. “If I get one bonfire a month.”
“Deal.” Kenji sticks his hand out for Ben to shake, and, laughing, he takes it. His fingers are warm, so warm, the feeling could melt Kenji right to the bones. Kenji resumes his spot on Ben’s chest, and Ben slips his fingers between Kenji’s. He settles down, letting his head rise and fall with the slow, steady breathing of Ben’s chest. Ben kisses the top of his head, and that is the final golden dusting on a perfect, perfect moment.
A giddy wave of excitement sweeps through him. “Ben... we’re getting married!”
“I know!” Ben giggles, stroking his hair. “I’m actually kind of excited.”
“Oh, the others are gonna be so thrilled.” Kenji grins as he thinks of the camp fam’s reactions. Darius would be surprised, but very happy for them. Sammy would probably (definitely) scream with joy. Brooklynn would say, “it’s about time,” and Yaz would just smile and hug them.
“A few months ago, Yaz told me she was gonna give me a year tops to propose to you before she did it for me,” Ben says. “I’m sure she was joking though. Mostly sure.”
Kenji laughs, but something else snags on his attention. “You were thinking of proposing a few months ago?”
“Yeah, of course,” Ben says nonchalantly, like the magnitude of how much he loves Kenji isn’t a big deal. Maybe it’s something he’s used to. As natural as breathing. “I’ve been thinking about it for six-ish months, and I told Yaz back in June.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t propose in pride month,” Kenji teases.
“I wasn’t ready!” Ben exclaims, dragging a hand across his face. “Besides, Yaz told me I should wait.”
“Wait a second...” The two bits of information click together in Kenji’s brain, and he indignantly bolts upright. “She was helping me with that speech all the way back in May! She— she knew we were planning on proposing to each other.”
Ben laughs, a soft smile settling on his face. “Classic Yaz. Giving us time to admit our feelings when we’re both ready to.”
“I’m gonna kill that little shit,” Kenji grumbles, but there’s no real malice behind his words. He loves his friends, and he loves Ben, and he loves the world and everything in it. He loves the sun, and he loves the grass, and he loves picnics. He loves being with Ben, he loves loving Ben, and dammit, he loves needing him. He loves the rise and fall of Ben’s chest, he loves Ben’s hands on his body, he loves everything.
And he can’t wait to love Ben for the rest of his life.