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Everyone was getting ready as the plan was set on, their minds were more focused than ever as the weight of what was in game set heavy on their bodies.
The whole world could die.
Collapse and shaped in ways they could only hope never understand.
Everything they knew about the upside down… was wrong, and this was now the only chance they had to finally, after so long, stop the madness that has been haunting them for the past years.
And yet, as Will saw everyone move around —collecting things, reviewing the plan again and again, carrying the weapons they would need— there was one thing on his mind, something he had yet to do. Something he now knew he couldn't prolong for much longer.
Because… Fuck.
The world was ending.
The threat was now more latent than ever.
And he just realized that, if he died, he really didn't want to go with all his feelings bottled up.
He really didn't want to die with the shame he has been feeling all his life for loving the way he did.
For being the way he was.
He understood now, he finally did.
Back at the military base, when they tried to rescue the children and he found a way to channel Vecna's powers and use it against the demogorgons, he had thought about the things that made him happy through all his life. He thought of Jonathan, his mother, of his friends. The childhood memories he treasures the most, building Castle Byers, when he started drawing, listening to his brother's mixtapes.
And he thought of Mike.
He thought of the first time they met, how two lonely kids suddenly started a friendship sitting on the swings. How they were inseparable and started playing dnd. He thought of how he made him feel, how happy he felt when he was by his side.
And those feelings manifested, he brought them to life, he felt the powerful warmth of those memories in his veins —in his heart.
He never wanted to let go of that feeling again.
Even if he knows those powers aren't his, he can still feel that lingering electricity in him, that burn, that allowed him to know he still had power.
This was his life and he had the power.
So, gathering all the courage he had, he walked out to where Jonathan stood resting. Jonathan has always been his support in life, trusting him with many things, and back at California they had a talk, maybe that conversation wasn't as clear as he wanted things to be now, but Jonathan made him feel seen and that he understood exactly what was going on, and how much he loved him and supported him regardless.
He needed his support now.
"Jonathan.." His voice came out softer than he intended.
"Yeah?" He turned to see him with a relaxed expression.
"Can we talk?"
"Sure. Is something wrong?"
"No. Not at all. It's just- I…" Will closed his eyes trying to connect the words. He could do this, he could do this. "I want to talk about something… With you and mom, and my friends… " He inhaled. "And I… I need your support."
"Of course, of course, Will. Can i know what is it about?" Jonathan held his shoulders softly as he talked, reassuring him in his decision.
"Do you remember our conversation… after we rescued El and were at the pizzeria?" His brother nodded, his gaze looking at him in understanding. "I… I want to tell you the truth, before it is too late and something bad happens while we are trying to save the world and.."
"Hey, hey, shhh, shhh. It's alright. If you feel ready.." He nodded instantly. "Then let's do it, and I'll be there with you all the way."
Will smiled feeling the tears threatening to come out, but he wiped them away swiftly. It was not the time to cry, yet. And god knows he will be crying a lot while he exposes his heart out to the people he loved the most.
"Okay, let's call them, then."
They walked together to the little lounge inside the building as Jonathan looked around for the people he needed. Joyce, El, Dustin, Lucas, Max. And Mike.
They all quickly left what they were doing to follow them. Perhaps they thought it would be something about Vecna, he thought, with the way they all agreed so easily. Or perhaps, everyone was more united than ever, as the future was unknown and they were about to set on what you could consider a suicide mission.
Whatever happens, I have the power. He thought, whatever happens after this talk, I am me, and I can live with that. I want to live with that.
They all sat around on the sofas, looking at him expectantly, watching him close.
He suddenly felt the weight of what he was about to do. Deep. Heavy. This was all so scary. But no, he has to do this. He wants to do this. He has been scared his whole life, and there will be more scary moments in the future, but he wants to be able to get through them without feeling weak, or feeling like a coward looking for a refuge. He wants to face his problems with bravery, to allow himself to feel fear but to not let it consume him.
He wants to be able to love and be loved like everyone else does.
He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath, breathing slowly to ease his nervous heart, taking the courage to face this obstacle and destroy it for once and for all.
"I…" Will began, opening his eyes and playing with his hands laying on his lap. "I want to tell you guys something. I-I never would have thought of doing this but… the world may end today o-or not and… whatever happens I… I wanted to tell you this. Because I realized I don't want to die keeping it a secret… and making me feel like something's wrong with me."
"Will…" His mother whispered sat next to him, as she took his shaking hands. "What is it, baby?"
"I think that… maybe some of you already knew… Or suspected it." He let out a nervous laugh, looking at how some furrowed their brows confused. "I've been bullied my entire life for it, called names and humiliated even when I tried my hardest to hide it... to deny it. But, when we were trying to save the kids from being taken and Vecna appeared to tell me why he was doing all of this, w-why he took me first… I realized that trying to deny it was a mistake, t-that I had to face it and... accept it. And t-that's how I managed to infiltrate into the hive mind and take the powers to kill the demos, it was… because I overcame my fear. So…" He took another deep breath as he felt Jonathan's encouraging gaze giving him strength. "I-I wanted to tell you that…" He made a short pause. This was it. Say it. "I'm gay."
He instantly felt Jonathan's arms around him, embracing him and holding him as he finally felt the tears that were running down his face. His mother held his hands tight as she let out a wailing cry.
"Oh, Will. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, my baby."
"No, mom. Why are you crying?" He panicked trying to reassure her.
"I'm so sorry for everything you suffered when your father was here… and I never did anything sooner."
"Oh, mom."
Suddenly he felt more arms embracing him, that's when he noticed all his friends had come to hug him.
"Fuck, man. It must have been so hard for you to hear all that stuff, but you know we don't care about it, right? We love you will, we'll always do." Lucas reassured him, holding him as tight as he could with all the other arms fighting to hold him.
"Yeah, we have always been a team haven't we? We have never paid attention to what the others said about us and they could never make me think bad of you for being who you are, Will." Dustin agreed caressing his hair, as there wasn't much space left to hug his back.
"We love you no matter what, and for who you are Will." Hearing those words made his cheeks burn, spoken in that soft tone he always uses with him and looking at him like something precious. Mike. "And if you are happy, then we are happy."
"Yeah."
Everyone agreed. And he couldn't be more happy. His cheeks hurting from all the smiling and his eyes wandering to all the people he loved and appreciated embracing him. Truly embracing him. The whole of him.
"So sorry to ruin the moment." Max interrupted. "But I cannot move and I want to hug you so bad. So can you please leave him alone, so he can come to me and hug me?" He laughed as they gave him space from their mortal embrace, and quickly approached Max who was sat on her wheelchair looking at him with a big smile. "Just imagine I'm holding you really tight, okay?" He nodded holding her tight instead as he felt how she rested her head on his trying to caress him somehow.
He separated from her and turned around to look at everyone. His mother with tears on her eyes but looking proud of him. Jonathan staying close to him, staying true to his word. El, her sister, who looked like she could jump to hug him again any second soon. Dustin and Lucas, nodding their heads lightly, making sure he knew he was loved by them. And Mike.
Oh, Mike. Who looked at him with those eyes he has spent long nights dreaming of, his gaze soft and smiling, like he was truly looking at him. There were no words needed between them, his eyes told him everything he needed to know.
He was loved.
And he was accepted.
After one last group hug they all scattered to finish the last arrangements before their plan began. He sat on the couch one last time once he was left alone in the room and smiled.
He had done it.
He faced his fear, he accepted himself and now… he felt truly powerful.
He watched as the others spaced around outside moving everything they needed to the van, getting ready to start any time soon. Will mentally prepared for what was waiting for them in the Upside Down and the part he now was sure to take to defeat Vecna.
He didn't feel scared anymore, he wouldn't run away.
"Hey, Will."
He turned his head towards the voice interrupting his thoughts, watching Mike approaching him with a nervous demeanor and that look he put on his face when he was thinking of something.
"Yeah? What's wrong?"
"I… wanted to ask you something.." He said slowly and unsure, sitting down next to him.
"Sure, what is it?"
He watched as Mike burrowed his brows, thinking of what to say, or maybe how to say it.
"How did you know?"
"Know what?"
"That you were gay?"
The question startled him.
"Well…"
"Sorry, I know this is sudden— and maybe it is too much to ask right now but— It's just— Like you said, the world may end today and— I just don't want to die without… getting the answers I've asked myself for so long."
For a moment, Will forgot how to breath, realizing what was happening in that instant, the situation he was now put into. Part of him wanted to be vague, give Mike an answer that wouldn't leave him exposed... too exposed, after having just opened up to everyone. But the other part, the part that just told him this could be the last day, the last night, was telling him to take the risk, to be honest and embrace whatever future may come.
After a short moment considering his next words, he finally spoke. "I fell in love."
Mike looked surprised for a second. "And… how did that feel?"
"Like I could be anything if I stood next to him." Once the words came out he couldn't stop them. "Like I wanted to do anything just to watch him happy. Like nothing else mattered when we were together and how I could be hours and hours just listening to him talk. I wanted to hold him, run and hide, jump mountains, ride to the other side of the city, all just to see him again. And when he got a girlfriend…" He paused looking at Mike in the eyes, hoping he could understand. "I felt jealous. I.. wished it was me instead, would imagine things with them. I kept getting angry whenever he left because he wanted to be with her, and then felt really guilty for being so selfish, because I just wanted him happy, but I liked it more when he was happy with me." He took another breath, calming himself. as the storm of words kept going. "T-then I started thinking… since everyone in the group had their girlfriends, who was going to be my one? A-and I thought of any girl but… it just didn't feel right, I-I didn't feel any connection or desire… but if I thought of a boy or.. of him, it felt different."
"D-different? Different how?"
"Like it clicked. I felt warmth. Desire... Longing."
Mike stayed silent for a moment, letting the words sit in and ordering his thoughts, trying to understand just what was he feeling. Will felt like dying waiting for an answer, he was always pleased to let Mike take all the time he needed to order what he wanted to say next, but in that instant, it felt like agony. He just poured his heart to the only person he has ever loved and hoped for him to catch the hint, but was he clear enough for him to understand? Perhaps he overstepped and shouldn't have used this as an opportunity to confess when all Mike wanted was to clarify his doubts, or perhaps he should be more direct and leave no room for doubt who he was talking about.
"I think I like both." Mike suddenly interrupted his thoughts.
"B-both?"
"Girls and boys. I think— I mean, I always knew I liked girls, I just, didn't think too much about them, I guess? Before El, I never really thought about this stuff." Will nodded, encouraging him to continue. "But then I met El and— I really liked her, and wanted to date her and— but then it was as if something was missing… because i kept thinking of— of this boy… the same way I thought about her. And I thought, then maybe what I feel isn't love— maybe I confused it with something else. But I felt all the things you described with both of them."
"Oh."
"Heh. Yeah, 'oh'."
The words were floating in the air, letting them sink and bringing comfort to the two boys. Will felt his heart in his throat, Mike's confession sinking deeper and deeper into his mind. He felt like he had to read between the lines, something Mike was trying to tell him hiding underneath what he said—
"You know, El and I broke up months ago."
"What? You two broke up? I- We didn't know— "
"We just thought it would be best if we told you guys later, as we were too focused on the missions and everything and— well, I realized many things in the last couple of months. And she realized them too."
"What did you realize?"
"I liked El." Mike turned around to look at him once again. Their eyes met. "But I didn't love her… I loved someone else…"
"You loved someone else?"
Mike held his gaze, looking at him with the same soft look he had earlier when he came out to his friends.
Looking at him like he was something precious.
Like he was truly looking at him.
Oh.
Oh.
Just before Will had the chance to say something, Mike closed the small distance between, capturing his lips in a soft kiss. He froze for a second, surprised and unsure of what to do but not wanting it to end. He had never kissed anyone before, but before Mike could separate, he brought a hand to Mike's face, touching it softly and keeping it close as he responded to the kiss, not letting go of the feeling.
Their lips danced slowly, tasting the waters, slow and curious, and full of emotion.
So this is what it felt to be kissed, this is what it felt to be held lovingly and loved in the way he desired.
He captured Mike's bottom lip, experimenting with how soft they felt and earning a soft sound from him. And Will just wanted to melt right there and then, wanting to hear those sounds for the rest of his life.
They separated slowly and breathless, looking at each other's eyes. Finally truly looking into them.
"You better not fucking die today, because I'm not done kissing you yet."
And Will just laughed, because yes, the world was dying, and today could be their last day. Or not. But whatever the outcome was, he now knew for sure he wanted to spent his lifetime kissing those lips.
His other source to feel powerful. He didn't feel scared anymore.