Chapter Text
For a guy who likes to climb towers, he never found himself this attentive.
He didn’t even believe that he was gonna see the light in Guy Business’s office when all the building was shut off.
Yep, the same jackass who sued him, the same guy who sprayed a product on is cups, the same guy who tried to take his helmet, bashed his head with a window and… well he doesn’t know. That last one felt like a dream. Then for some reason, he had another obsession for microwaves?
Whatever, anyways, the light is on. Why not go piss him off again? He hasn’t heard of him for a week ever since he found himself dozing off that day. He would even notice too, the man avoiding the windows. Now’s a good time… in this case. With that, he pulls his cups, slams them on the building and starts climbing. To do this during the day was one thing, to do this at night gave him a bit of the thrill. The wind blows through his hair, the sky ends up having a quieter breeze and no pigeon to pluck his eye out.
When he reaches the window, he sees the sad sack sitting on his chair… smoking a joint.
Guy Business is smoking a joint.
He won’t lie, he never expected Guy to smoke a joint and relax with it. He looks at the room. Nothing but the quiet smoke filling the room. Of course, the guy has to have everything organized. Neat freak.
He observes the man’s face… why does he look so goddamn tired? Was it something that was done today? Did it have to do with… himself?
He sighs and begins to climb, only to accidentally open the window, causing it to slide down, making him jump. “Shit-”
The window completely caught the other man’s attention, filling the room with coughs as he puts out the joint.
“*Cough cough* What the- *wheeze* fUCK are you doing here?! *coughs* You’re doing this shit at night?! Really?!”
“Hey man, it was an accident! Didn’t mean to ruin your piss blunt party!”
“Well it’s my piss blunt party and today’s not even a weekend, get the fuck off the tower!”
“Hey, relax! If I’m being honest, I didn’t even know you smoked. At all. Actually, isn’t it against policy to smoke inside a workplace building?”
“Wh- how did- nevermind.” Guy takes a seat in his chair. “Smoke room was closed. … And my personal break room.”
“So you smoke in here instead of at your house because…?”
Guy shrugs.
“Hey, man, what’s even been bothering you? Shouldn’t you be yelling to call the cops or some shit?”
“...Mmm, not in the mood.” He begins to sulk in the seat. However, louder pops and struggling is heard. “... What the hell are you doing?”
“Climbing in. Is that alright?”
“I’m not even in the mood to argue with you. Sure, whatever floats your boat.”
He climbs in and lands perfectly on his feet. Putting his cups in his bag, he sees the joint on the table.
“What? Never seen a joint before?” Guy looks at the man like he was just checking in.
“Shut up, jerkwad. I’m just here to… y’know, see what’s up.”
“‘What’s up’? Strangely, not you this time, but what is wrong with my mood is none of your concern.”
“Why, are you gonna vent this to your therapist instead?”
“Oh believe me, I told her everything about you, bitch. Matter of fact,” He sits up. “I annoyed her talking about you sooooo much, she had to take a three month long vacation to even get away from me ranting!”
“Well, are you gonna talk about my greatest adventures to any of your clients?”
“Hah. If I did, I would fire them.”
“So talk to me! You can’t fire me or send me on vacation.”
“... I guess you’re right, Suction Cup Man.” Guy stands up and walks to the supply closet and drags a chair to his desk, making room for him to sit down. “Have a seat.”
He stares blankly at him and slowly walks to the chair, taking a seat.
He walks back to the closet and grabs two expensive looking glasses and a bottle of… apple cider? He then lays the cups on his desk, pouring them.
“... Is the issue that bad where you’re being nice to me?”
“Can it, asshole. This is a momentary truce.” He sits back down. Then he pauses. How was he gonna explain what the hell happened all on that Tuesday? … Maybe talk about one of the things that are bothering him?
“Hello?”
“Oh, uh… ahem.” He sips his glass, giving himself more time to think.
“Why don’t you spend whatever time you have left with your family?”
“I- I don’t have a family! I gave this company everything!”
“... And where did that lead you?”
Bingo. He puts the glass down.
“... Sometime last week, I… had an argument with a coworker… I don’t remember how it went, but it had to do with family.”
“Family? Huh, I’m learning many things about you tonight. I didn’t know you had a wife and kids.”
“I don't. …Well, at… at least not anymore.”
“... What?” Guy looked away.
“I was married. Once.” He sipped on the cider. “ When I joined the company, we both were psyched. More payment, better housing conditions, all that shit. We were talking about having our own children, you know.”
“Did you?”
“Of course not. I… started getting invested, going into greater opportunities giving everything to the company… only to lose connection with my wife. She and I grew distant, our sexes becoming less meaningful, our dinners losing talk, our rings… slowly losing feeling.”
Huh. That must have been… depressing.
“We got a divorce, agreeing to allow ourselves whatever assets to go with whoever. Then… then I never saw her again.”
“Wait, why does that have to do with the worker though?”
“I don’t know. The guy has a family, I had my chances of a family being ripped away the moment I got my first promotion.” He looks at him. “... Are you really rolling my fucking joint?!”
He sees him, with the joint between his fingers. “Need a sniff.”.
“I guess.” He pulls his lighter out and lights up the joint. “... Looking back, I felt like I would've not wanted children. My attitude being… determined as a bad parent. The thought would be nice, but I don’t think… I don’t think being a good father was one of the agendas.”
“You'd probably be one of those dads that goes and embarrasses their kids.”
“Very comforting.”
“The headlines say it for everyone: Guy Business, greatest billionaire, climbable man and worst father that embarrasses his kid whenever he or she has a school talent show!”
“First of all, never call a man climbable in whatever context. Second, that's not the type of dad to be.” He chuckles at the sight of this moron making fun of him.
“Mmm… this joint feels so amazing. What is this?”
“Mm? Oh, that is from… well, I don’t remember, I was a bit high when I got it from the expensive cannabis club.”
“Shiiiiiii……”
“Okay, you're done, give me that.” He takes the joint from him and places it in the ashtray.
“So was the family conflict the only thing bugging you?”
“Mmno… no, that was one of them. But because I am a man of stocks, I am not gonna give you any more info.”
“Fair enough. Did it make you feel a bit better?”
“I would say no, since I'm discussing the matter with you of all people, but… yeah. Yeah, I do.”
“Nice. Well, I'm off. Night!”
He walks to the window.
“Wh- that's it? I tell you my problems and you're suddenly out?!”
“Well, if you're not gonna discuss your other problems, what's the point of staying?”
“I don't know, you could just… relax here for a bit? Aren’t you tired from climbing the tower everyday?”
“Well, no. I don't ever get-” he then realizes. “Wait, why do you care all of a sudden, are you okay?”
“Uh- yes. No. Ugh, just… head out for the night.”
“Great!” He then pulls out the cups.
“THROUGH THE DOOR!” He groans. “Why are you like this…?”
“Because I'm Suction Cup Man, look at me go? You should know this by now.” He finds himself laughing softly at this moron. He begins to put his cups on the wall, only to get stopped when a question is given.
“You know, I always question why you never get so scared whenever you do this type of shit. I would be pissing my pants.”
“Mmm… I did this type of stuff since I was seventeen, actually. I climbed a really high tree and then I got into the interest of climbing ever since.”
“So you were a name before the suction cups?”
“Well, absolutely.” He sits down.
…
…
…
“... Well?”
“Well, what?”
“Well, aren’t you gonna say your name?”
“Wh- no! I'm keeping the mystery alive.”
“What- then why the hell did you sit down and do all that pause if you weren't gonna tell me?!”
“Mmm… I don’t know. Probably the joint?”
“Ah. …Actually, you do need to use the door if you're leaving.”
“What?! Why?!”
“Using your cups can get you sick and intoxicated if you're not careful!”
“It's just weed! It's not gonna wipe me off the Earth!”
“... Use the door, please.”
“So I'm just stuck with going out the door or staying here?! Those are my options?! Really?! … Okay, I'm out.” He begins to walk through the door.
“Here, actually, I'll come with you.” He follows him out.
They entered the elevator, which was taking ages to go up. They already knew that it was gonna take ages for them to go down.
“You know, for a company that's real fast, your elevator's really crappy at picking up the pace.”
“Uh… we're having it repaired sometime soon.”
…
“God, that blunt is really making me feel too calm in here.”
“Don't start going out on me now, you don't even have the privilege of sleeping in the building.”
“Relax, when I get home, I'm conkin’ out.” He begins to yawn.
“Huh. I never thought weed would make you feel so tired. If I knew that, I should have offered you some ages ago.”
“Mhm…” He rubs his eyes. “It's gonna be a bitch walking home like this.”
Right. He's a poor. He's obviously not gonna afford a car.
“You know what? I'll drive you. It's the least I can do for venting one of my problems.”
“...”
“Take it or leave it, Suction Cup Man. I have the whole night ahead of me.”
“No, I just thought you'd pay someone to drive for you.”
“Nevermind. Offer's off the table.”
“What?! No, no, I'll take it! I'll take the offer!”