Work Text:
Riku loves Sora.
This was common knowledge to him.
The first time he realized he loved his best friend was when they were little. He was a little over the age of five when Sora had climbed up to his window in his room. There was a massive thunderstorm, and despite saying that he was okay, that he was brave, Riku was terrified. However, he knew it would make Sora more afraid if he showed he was scared too. Sora cuddled up next to him and they both rode out the storm together.
Riku remembered how warm Sora was. How could he felt. How relieved he was when Sora appeared in his window.
It was only butterflies then.
The second time was when they were sword fighting on the play island. Riku had won yet again and Sora was being a great sport about it, asking for another round. Riku saw that determined look on his face and it made his heart skip a beat.
The third time he didn't know he was in love until he spoke with the stranger that appeared on the island. He spoke with him about what he wanted. Riku glanced over his shoulder to see Sora standing at the dock with his dad. He looked so happy and his expression was something Riku wanted to commit to memory.
"The strength to protect what matters." He'd answered him. He didn't realize how important that answer was until years later when he finally found it.
When he realized he was truly in love with Sora, he was crying. They were coming back from star gazing like they always used to do, when Riku saw him crying. The urge to rush over and comfort him was great even when he looked like he didn't have a care in the world.
"Someone up there must be really hurting." He'd said.
Sora closed his eyes and poured his heart out to the soul that was hurting and Riku fell deeply in love. This love was an ocean he would be happy to drown in. The same blue as his eyes.
The time he solidified his promise to love Sora unconditionally was when shooting stars streaked across the sky. There were so many of them, they varied in size and brightness, Riku felt Sora's hand grab onto his. He was shaking.
Riku turned towards him.
"What's wrong Sora?"
"Riku... I'm scared." Suddenly, the crashing waves against the posts of the little dock they stood on didn't matter anymore. Sound was nothing, but a hum in the distance that meant nothing to him. All that mattered was Sora.
"I'm scared." He said again. Riku's heart pounded in his chest. There were tears in his eyes and Riku was suddenly frozen in place.
He knew what to do, how to do it, but when Sora looked at him like that, like he could solve every problem in the world, he didn't want to let him down. He took a deep breath, he knew what to say, but he wanted it to be just right. He wanted Sora to know he could rely on him. He held Sora's hand tighter in his own.
"It's alright...." Riku replied. "I'll protect you."
Sora stared at him, his eyes fluttering trying to hold back his tears.
"Really?" He asked. "What if a shooting star hits the island?"
Riku took up the toy sword Sora always had with him and held it high above his head, challenging the heavens.
"If any shooting stars come this way, I'll protect you!" Riku smiled at Sora. He wanted to smile bright to make sure that he knew that it all would be okay. He wanted him to know that he could lean on him.
"...promise?" Sora whispered in a tiny voice.
"I promise." Riku nodded with determination in his eyes. Only then, did Sora smile. Riku melted. There was that smile he loved with all his heart. That was the smile he'd made the promise to protect.
Suddenly, Riku perked up. He'd gotten an idea.
He stuffed his hand into his pocket feeling the cool metal of a chain chill his fingertips. He pulled out a silver chain with a crown-shaped charm on the end. He handed the pendant to Sora. Riku clasped his hands over Sora's to solidify his next words.
"I've had this good luck charm since I was a baby. My mom told me 'as long as you keep it with you, you'll never be parted from the ones you love.'" Riku saw Sora's eyes catch his own and he felt his heart skip a beat. He let go of Sora's hands to let him inspect the charm.
Sora traced his finger over the cool metal of the charm, mapping out the points and curves of it all. Riku watched Sora loop the necklace around his neck. He felt his heart swell with pride. Riku took Sora's hands in his once again to make sure Sora heard him.
"So no matter what happens, we'll always be able to find each other again."
The tears were gone from Sora's pretty blue eyes, replaced with wonder and awe.
Riku was in love with his best friend.
And he was so sure that he would have had him too, but then, that very same night, Kairi appeared.
At first it was fun.
They played on the island together, and they acted like three peas in a pod
But...
Eventually, Sora started pulling away.
Riku was losing Sora to a love he could never give. One that was whole. One that wasn't wrong. It was so hard to fall asleep when every night he was plagued with thoughts of this him, but how could he free himself of these thoughts when all he wanted to do was kiss his temptation?
Slowly, Riku felt these thoughts of bitter jealousy and darkness fester inside him, until he snapped.
He went into the Secret Place and saw it there on the wall, scribbled into the stone was Kairi and Sora sharing a Paopu Fruit. Something so intimate and beautiful. He shouldn't have teased him that day. Maybe it would have kept him from drawing something that made his blood boil. Maybe it would have stopped him from listening to the darkness that had manifested in his heart, and stopped him from doing something drastic.
He opened the door to their world, and plunged their lives into a war that spiraled, a war that was never theirs in the first place. Riku would regret these actions for the rest of his life. There were some days when he couldn't even look at himself in the mirror. There were some days when he just wanted to hide and never be found again, to let the darkness claim his soul and cast him into everlasting darkness like he deserved!
He would never be Sora's first choice.
"Riku!"
Riku gasped as he shot up straight. He panted heavily. His eyes darted around until they caught sight of Mickey beside him. His face was twisted with worry that he hadn't seen from him since he'd found him again in the forest before he fought Roxas.
"...Your Majesty?" Riku rasped. He flinched at the sound of his voice. It sounded grating and rough, like he had something stuck in his throat. He coughed to try and clear it. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong with me, but, for a moment there, you were leaking darkness." Mickey answered.
Riku bristled and looked down, taking a self analysis. He was leaking darkness? Why would he be leaking darkness? Didn't he have it under control?
"Calm down Riku!" Mickey cried. "Everything is fine. Just breathe."
Breathe? Breathe, right. He was about to have a panic attack. Riku took in a few deep breaths so that he could get his bearings.
Sora, Riku, and, Kairi stayed the night at Disney castle while they were on their way to Twilight Town. It was better than one of them driving while tired, and it was more comfortable than the chairs that were inside the Gummi Ship.
Riku took a few more deep breaths feeling a tickle in the back of his throat. He coughed once to try and dislodge whatever was troubling him. Maybe it was his sinuses. He was always more susceptible this time of year.
"Are ya feeling better now Riku?" Mickey asked. Oh right, Mickey was still there. Riku nodded.
"Yeah, sorry. It was just a bad dream I think..." Riku answered. Mickey tilted his head slightly.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Mickey questioned moving to sit on the edge of the bed. It was nothing he hadn't told him before, so why should he now? It wasn't that he wanted to keep it to himself, but he worried if he kept saying the same old troubles, Mickey would stop listening to him, so he opted to just shake his head.
He'd suffered in silence before, what was a little more time?
Mickey frowned, but he nodded nonetheless.
"Okay, if you say so." He hopped off the edge of the bed and padded over to the door. "Go on and get dressed. Breakfast is almost ready."
Breakfast...
Riku wasn't particularly looking forward to it. He really just wanted to wallow.
Ever since Sora had come back, he could hardly get him alone. He just wanted to talk with him, or be silent and bask in his presence, but there was always something that got in the way of that.
Riku was the one that actually had the idea for this trip. He wanted to wonder around Twilight Town with him. Maybe even grab something to eat at the the grand Bistro while they were there, but Sora told Kairi and it turned into a group instead of just them. Riku felt defeated, but he refused to let his jealousy and hatred get the better of him again.
He wouldn't fall down that dark path ever again.
He also knew that Sora chose Kairi. She was his person. His soulmate. The one he would spend the rest of his life with. His other half.
And Riku? He was none of those things.
He was the placeholder until Kairi arrived.
Don't worry, he knows better than to turn a blind eye to jealousy, and honestly, he's not even that jealous. Just terribly sad. He doesn't even dislike or despise Kairi for it like when he was younger. Kairi is his best friend and the two get along very well. She's a good person to be around and very funny.
But...
Sometimes he wondered if he just disappeared, and stopped answering Sora's calls would he eventually stop looking for him. He ultimately decided that he wouldn't do that. Not because Sora would stop looking for him, but because the last time he tried to do something like that Sora hunted him down to the World that Never was!
Riku coughed again. He was starting to hate this cough with a passion.
Riku got dressed and stepped out of his room. A few little brooms started to scurry inside to clean up. Riku shook his head before he could think on it too hard.
One broom followed him for a moment before it stopped. He wondered what that was about, but he didn't know that there were little pink petals floating down from his clothes.
Riku stepped into the grand dining room.
The walls were sparkling marble with banners hanging down swaying slightly from the breeze coming from the open windows. The tall wide windows allowed light to pour in from the beautiful morning outside. Riku could tell that it would be a beautiful day. Riku trudged along the shining tile towards the long dining table. It looked like there was a feast. Mounds of bacon, ham, and eggs. A gravy boat and toast. Pancakes and waffles stacked high drizzled with syrup, and bowls of fruits Riku had never seen before. Mickey really wasted no expense for them. He really was a good friend to them.
Riku moved a little closer to the table, and Sora, who was stuffing his face with ham, spotted him first. He always did. He swallowed his mouthful of food and smiled widely at him. He hurriedly waved him over to sit right beside him. Kairi was already there sitting beside him. She smiled and waved good morning to Riku as she saw him.
Riku smiled and greeted everyone at the table with a 'good morning.'
"Mornin' Riku." Mickey greeted him. He still had that worried look on his face, but it was masked well enough the others couldn't see it. It wasn't for their eyes.
"Riku! Riku!" Sora gestured to the chair beside him. "Come sit by me!"
Riku smiled fondly. He felt something tickle the back of his throat again. He cleared his throat quickly and hurried over to Sora. He saw down to his right while Kairi sat on his left. A broom came over and placed a napkin on his lap. He thanked it even though he had no idea if it could even hear him. Sora started piling pancakes on his plate to the point Riku had to physically stop him. The trio laughed about it. Sora pouted.
"You look like a stick! You need to eat more!" He argued. Kairi nodded beside him placing more fruit on her own plate.
"He's right a strong breeze could blow you over." Riku rolled his eyes fondly at their teases.
"Mhm... so I'd better stay out of wide open windy areas, huh?" Riku teased.
"Uh-huh!" Sora patted Riku's shoulder with a solemn look on his face. "It's better this way Riku. We can't have you blowing away on us."
Kairi nodded with a look that was just as sad if not sadder. "Yes, yes, we love you too much."
"You guys are weirdos. Why am I friends with you again?" Riku shoved Sora's hand off.
Sora and Kairi batted their lashes at Riku with innocence in their eyes. "Because you love us."
"Maybe a little too much..." Riku muttered under his breath.
"What was that?" Sora pried leaning in close.
Riku felt his heart skip a beat. His cheeks burned. His body felt a wave of heat go through it. Riku swallowed hard as he shoved Sora's face away from his trying to find his bravado again.
"Maybe I took pity on you too much!" Riku stated loudly as if attempting to drown out the soft statement from before.
Sora and Kairi stood up and jumped on him in a hug.
"Wah! Sora! Kairi! Stop that! We're at the table!" Riku scolded them. He heard Mickey and Minnie laughing softly from across the table and he felt his whole face burn.
"You cant lie to us Riku!" Sora said nuzzling his face against Riku's cheek. Kairi hugged him around his neck, her head on his shoulder.
"We know you too well! We know you love us! Say you love us!" Kairi shook him slightly.
"No!" He exclaimed trying and failing to wiggle out of their hold.
"Say it Riku!" Sora cried.
"Fine! Fine! I love you guys..." Riku's confession sounded more like one of those half-hearted 'sorrys' you give to your sibling when your parents force you to apologize. He even looked all pouty like a petulant child.
"You don't have to look so sour about it Riku!" Sora said.
"Yeah, we love you too!" Kairi added.
Mickey and Minnie started laughing outwardly now. Kairi and Sora soon joined in.
Riku was stuck in a hard place now. He could feel his lip trembling as he tried not to laugh, but Sora's laughter was the most contagious of them all, making Riku have to swallow the lump in his throat. He soon found himself laughing too.
Sora looked so carefree in those moments. No problems or worries. It was the way he always wanted him to be.
Riku loved Sora. He knew this. He wanted to tell him. He wanted to let him know that he was loved by someone who would so anything to protect him and care for him. He wanted to show his undying devotion to him in the only way he knew how-
Kairi's laughter rang in his ear.
Right... he was always the second choice.
He felt his heart drop. His smile wavered, his laughter died. He felt the crushing weight of the fact he will never have him. Oh well. His smile softened as he looked at Sora again. He could love him from afar, always knowing in his heart that is love for Sora would never die.
Suddenly, Riku was coughing violently. Sora and Kairi jumped off him with concern painted on their faces. Mickey and Minnie jumped up with worry, and the joy and laughter that filled the room was replaced with the sound of his gross hacking and coughing.
Riku felt so self-conscious. He was the one actively ruining breakfast. He broke a moment of tranquil peace that was theirs, but now it was gone. Because of him.
Sora patted Riku's back, but it only served to make him feel worse.
Riku covered his mouth with the napkin on his lap, and was finally granted some reprieve. He wiped his mouth, watching something purple flutter down onto his lap.
What was that? He didn't remember eating anything that was purple. He didn't remember eating anything at all.
Riku stood up feeling another rush of cough building up in his throat. He swallowed thickly and excused himself from the table, coughing as he ran.
Sora, Kairi, Mickey, and Minnie were all left wondering what was wrong with Riku. They were laughing moments ago... what happened? Kairi and Sora both stood up to go looking for him. They split up halfway with Kairi taking the right hall and Sora taking the left. Kairi saw the look on Sora's face. He was vibrating with worry for his best friend.
Kairi ran down the halls, checking which ways he might have gone, or if he just retreated to his room. The castle was big, if she weren't careful she could lose him and give him a chance to hide and make an ironclad lie.
Riku, while doing better at expressing himself in a way that mattered, still struggled with the idea of letting others help him when he was hurting and down. Kairi knew she had to find him, before he had time to figure out what to say.
Kairi huffed and puffed as she stood at a crossroad. Where could he have gone?
Then, she spotted purple flowers on the floor. She bent down to inspect one seeing it was a star-shaped bloom. She saw it trailing down one of the halls and followed after them. The brooms made sure to keep the place spic and span, as was their nature, they wouldn't let a trail of flowers just exist unless it just happened and Riku was the culprit.
Kairi saw the flowers. She saw them in the napkin. She knew that something had to be wrong. She read about something like this once. She wondered if it was the same thing.
Kairi gazed out at the garden. There was the faint sound of coughing accompanying the usual peaceful ambience. She followed the sound and found Riku staring at handfuls of little star-shaped purple, pink, red, and white flowers. He heard Kairi approaching and threw them down.
"I tripped and landed in the flowerbed." Riku stumbled through his sentence. His lie wasn't complete yet, and his eyes showed the fear his words had secretly portrayed in their undertone. "I was trying to think of a way to tell Mickey."
"Riku." Kairi's voice was gentle. "What happened? What's wrong?"
"I tripped in the flowerbed, I'm mighty distraught. Pity me." He kicked the pile at his feet coughing slightly more falling past his lips. He flinched at the sight and buried his face in his hands. Kairi sat down next to him and place her hand on his back. "...I don't know what's wrong. I've had this cough all morning, but I wasn't ever coughing up whatever this is!"
"I've read about it once." Kairi replied. "The books called it 'Hanahaki.' It's caused when someone had unrequited feelings for someone else. At first, it isn't bad. It's uncomfortable coughing up flower petals, but it's still in it's early stages. It gets worse the longer you don't tell them that you love them. It gets so bad that it can clog up your lungs and you'd cough up blood and whole flowers and it would stop you from breathing!"
Riku listened. All he could do was listen. Kairi knew the most about this, and he didn't know what to do other than spin another lie that would save his hide from more questions he didn't know how to answer.
"Have you told him?" Riku flinched. She knew. Of course she knew. She was the brighter one between both her and Sora.
"No, and I never can." Riku answered.
"I won't let your stubbornness kill you! Why won't you tell him?" Kairi moved her hand from his back to his arm. He moved away, and Kairi pulled her hand back.
"Because I've seen the way he looks at someone else." Riku felt his lip tremble as he looked up at the sky trying to will his tears away. His breath shuddered as he breathed out trying to calm his body. However, fate hates the fallen. His body convulsed with more violent coughs. Kairi rubbed her hand up and down his back to try and bring relief, but it did very little.
Riku coughed up handfuls of flowers, their colors varying from pinks, purples, and reds.
Riku dropped them on the ground. He stared at them like they were a stain on his very being. He glanced over to Kairi. She had the most concerned look on her face. Oh, what he wouldn't give to just curl up under a rock and die right about now. Then a thought occurred to him.
"What happens if someone confesses and they get rejected?" Riku asked carefully. He saw Kairi wilt. He knew it would be bad, he'd hoped it wouldn't be that bad.
"It gets bad really fast if a person rejects you. You cough up full flowers and you... you die a painful loveless death."
Riku knew instantly he'd have to live with this until he physically couldn't any longer. Sora didn't deserve to love such a broken soul like him anyway. Riku turned to look at Kairi. Not when he had her. Someone so perfect, someone who never once strayed from the path of light.
He'd bear it if only to let Sora live the life he knew he deserved. Apparently, that life didn't seem to have him in the picture.
"You have to help me." Riku said after a long moment of silence. "You have to help me hide this. I won't be the reason he questions what he knows deep in his heart."
"How do you know what's in Sora's heart?" Kairi questioned.
"Because I know Sora, and I know that he doesn't love me." Not in the same way he loved Sora. Kairi shook her head, but whatever she was thinking she didn't say. "Promise me Kairi."
Kairi looked at him with the most heartbroken look he'd ever seen directed at him. She'd never looked at him like that before and it made his chest ache, but he shook it off. He wouldn't be guilted. He couldn't. He waited until Kairi nodded before he relaxed.
He was always the second choice.
Sora found them eventually and Kairi did end up helping Riku lie.
He'd said he choked on a blueberry and felt really embarrassed so he excused himself. Sora stared at him and Riku thought that Sora had seen through his lies, but then he nodded.
"That makes sense." He'd said.
Riku and Kairi looked to each other with the same fond expression.
Riku never returned to breakfast, too embarrassed with his display. He knows that Mickey and Minnie really do not care, but he does and he doesn't really want to see the look on their faces at the moment. Instead he went to his room to hide. It was less than brave, bordering on cowardly, but he didn't want to see Sora like this.
Sora soon came to visit him in his room. He was sitting in the dark of his room. Curtains closed, lights out, candles blown out as he sat on his bed hugging a pillow to his chest. It helped ease some of the pressure in his chest from the flowers.
His eyes instantly tracked Sora as he came closer. He sat on the edge of the bed.
"Hey, are you really okay?" He asked. Riku visibly softened. Sora was always in tune with him somehow. Maybe it was their bond, Riku being his Dream Eater and all, the fact that they grew up together on the islands- neither of them really knew, but Sora always had an acute knowledge of what he was feeling in his heart.
"I'm fine, just really embarrassed..." Riku hid his face in the pillow. He heard Sora laugh softly. The sound was like a soothing balm to his frayed nerves.
"Come on Riku, you don't have to be embarrassed." Sora patted Riku's shoulder.
"Really?" He peeked up from his 'hiding place.'
"Yeah! I've seen you do way more embarrassing things!" Sora had this mischievous glint in his eye that had Riku smacking Sora with the pillow.
"Don't you dare!" Riku held the pillow above his head like a threat. Sora had the most innocent look in his eyes.
"Do what Riku?" He batted his lashes with the sweetest smile on his face, but Riku knew. Riku knew that look was nothing but a façade to a dark little gremlin wishing to make trouble.
"I know your games. Don't you dare tell anyone anything." Riku swung the pillow down. Sora squeaked in surprise.
"You have such little faith in me!" Sora wiped a fake tear from his eye.
"I have a reason..."
"You would think that after years of knowing me, you would blindly trust your best friend."
"I'm starting to rethink the best friend status."
"I'm wounded by your renunciation!" Sora flopped back on the bed.
"How do you even know what that word means?" Riku leaned over him before he settled down next to him.
"I'm stupid, not dumb." Sora said matter-of-factly.
Riku laughed soft and Sora brightened.
Riku almost missed it. The soft look Sora gave him. The genuinely happy smile on his face when he saw the he'd finally started laughing again. Riku would give anything for him to look at him like that for the rest of their lives.
Suddenly, Riku felt flowers rise in his throat, blocking his ability to breathe. He sat up quickly and coughed into the crook of his elbow. Sora sat up quickly and hurriedly rubbed Riku's back.
It felt impossible for Riku to catch his breath, he thought he wouldn't for a moment when he finally gasped and the coughing stopped.
Sora stayed silent for a long time before his voice broke the silence.
"Are you okay?" His voice was barely above a whisper. Riku nodded despite the fact he was not.
Riku hid the flowers in his jacket before Sora could spot them. Almost all of them were purple, with a few being pink. He felt his lip tremble as he swallowed the remaining flowers.
"I'll be fine, I promise. I just swallowed the wrong way." He turned to look at Sora a fake smile plastered on his face. "Why don't you go get ready now? We'll be leaving for Twilight Town soon."
Sora looked like he didn't want to leave. His fingers twitched and he looked like he was itching to reach out to him, but he decided against it.
"If you're sick, then we can just go home. I don't want you to get worse." Sora said. He looked so worried and Riku felt the flowers in his chest threaten to choke him again.
"No." He rasped. Riku cleared his throat. "No, it's fine. I'm fine. I just swallowed the wrong way, remember?"
Riku stared at him with the unseeing gaze that made Riku's body go rigid. Did he see through his lie? Lying to Sora used to be easy, why was he looking at him like that?
"Right..." He finally looked away. He shook his head and hopped off the bed and trudged towards the door. "I'll tell Kairi we're ready to get going."
And like that, Sora left.
Riku felt guilty for lying to him, but he didn't want Sora to feel guilty for what was happening to him. He knew he had to keep it a secret, but when did that become so hard to do?
Riku stood up to throw the flowers away, when he saw the blood smeared across his lip and dripped onto his shirt. Was that what Sora was staring at him like that for?! No no, it couldn't be. He kept the room dark. The curtains were drawn not even a candle was lit. There was no way he could have seen the blood.
But the contrast of the crimson against the white of his shirt and the pallor of his skin might have been enough for him to notice. He could only hope he wasn't observant enough to have seen it.
Riku coughed up nearly a whole garden of flowers, he'd thrown up enough to start up a flower shop. He finally got some semblance of normal, and cleaned himself up again, he finally made an appearance to the others by the Gummi Ship.
Sora was begging Kairi to tell him something, but once he saw that Riku was there he stopped and put on a shaky smile.
"Come on Riku!" He called. "We're waiting for you!"
Riku nodded and made his way towards his two friends.
They climbed aboard the Gummi Ship waving to Mickey and Minnie as they went.
"So." Sora started. "Off to Twilight Town?"
Riku stole a glance at Kairi who nodded at him and they both smiled. Riku might have missed it if he were any less observant, but Sora was watching him with a certain look on his face. One of scrutiny. But as soon as it was discovered it was gone and Sora beamed at them, turning back around and setting off for the town bathed in eternal golden hour.
Riku could only wonder what his lingering gaze was about. Surely Sora wasn't catching onto whatever this sickness was. He can't let him know.
Sora flew them to Twilight Town and landed somewhere where no one would be able to find their ship unless they were really looking for it. Riku coughed as they left the ship and breathed in the fresh air. Sora stared at Riku weirdly, but Riku just shrugged.
"Don't worry." He said. "It's allergies. I'll take something when we get back to the islands."
Sora seemed to take it and continued to walk beside him. While walking into town, Sora never strayed too far from Riku's side. He spoke with Kairi, sure, but he never let Riku out of his sight.
When did Sora get so observant? Was it something that happened while he was in Quadratum? Was he always like this. Riku smiled softly. No. Sora never did pick the best choices. He wondered if it were something to do with their bond.
However now, one side was littered with flowers and vines that constricted him. He wondered how much longer his yearning would be keeping him alive. He hardly thought it would be much longer. His love for Sora was too much for his heart to bear without the repercussions.
He hated this. He hated to leave him, but he would rather die with these feelings then let Sora make the wrong decision.
Once they made it into town, Sora rushed ahead. He ran over to the Bistro Riku trailing behind.
Sora was bright and cheery again. Kairi was the only one that could make him like that. He knew this. He could never do that.
"Hey, are you feeling any better?" Kairi asked as she came up beside Riku. Riku glanced at her letting out a small cough, a single flower fell from his lips. Kairi nodded.
"I don't know what to do otherwise." Riku stopped and watched Sora speaking with a few people that he knew. "I won't tell him if that's what you're trying to convince me to do."
"I was going to try, but you're as stubborn as Sora is, maybe even more than he is." Kairi shook her head.
Riku could only laugh. He didn't know what else to say. Kairi was destined to be with Sora, the Paopu they shared was proof enough for him.
"Hey, how about you go over to him and order something, I'll be over in a second." Riku flashed the brightest smile he dared, but Kairi knew.
She hurried over to Sora and Riku watched them for a moment longer before he felt something tickle his throat. He hurried away before he was seen.
Riku felt his throat flood with flowers. He quickly hid in an alley and coughed up heaps of flowers. His breath came in short gasps that only made the coughing worse, but he couldn't breathe. He felt like he was dying. Blood was covering the flowers the wouldn't stop.
It wouldn't stop!
Why wouldn't it stop!
He was throwing up these flowers now, blood and flowers left him on the verge of passing out. Lack of air was doing something to him too.
He needed to leave. He needed to get out of there before Sora found him like this, before Sora saw and grew worried.
That look in his eyes showed he was already worried for him, but he didn't want him to be even more afraid. Fear was supposed to be over. They won the war, they won against the binds that kept Sora away from him. From them...
Riku had wondered far until he reached the edge of town. How'd he get here? What could he do. He didn't want to go anywhere else, but his body was moving on his own and the blood and the flowers where still coming.
His mind was so foggy.
Trees...
Gate...
Brick...
Door...
The familiar scent of dust and flora that he would never be able to get out of his head from the year that he stayed in one of these Kingdom Hearts forsaken rooms.
Blood splattered on pristine white floors.
A table and some weathered papers were all that was left of this room now.
All that was left of that year.
All that was left of what happened all that time ago.
He slid down the wall, his hand smearing blood on the way down.
He felt horrible, shameful even.
He felt like a cat finding somewhere hidden and dark to die.
He just wished he didn't have to leave him.
He wondered what Sora was doing now. Maybe he was trying to find him? He hoped by the time he did, he wouldn't be around to see the horrified look on his face.
Riku loved Sora, but he didn't love him back.
Riku would always be his second choice.
Sora was panicking. He'd looked away for a second and Riku was gone.
Kairi was right there beside him now, trying to calm him to the best of her ability, but it was doing literally nothing.
Sora wasn't stupid, he knew that something was wrong with Riku. He saw the blood on his lips that morning before they left. He saw how pale he looked. He was already naturally pale, but not this pale! He saw that weird flower in the napkin at breakfast. He knew Riku lied. He knew he did that as a safety precaution. He knew his best friend, he knew why he did the things he did.
Sora cared Riku. How could he not see that?
He cared for Kairi, sure, but only as a friend, not like Riku. The promise they made, the crown charm on a night where stars rained down. They knew each other the longest and knew each other's secrets. They've seen each other at their lowest. Riku was the one that brought him back. Riku was the one that used their bond to find and save him multiple times.
He didn't want to be with anyone else. He wanted Riku. He loved Riku.
"You know what's wrong with him." Sora said. Kairi flinched. "Tell me, tell me please!"
Kairi bit her lip. "I promised I wouldn't say..."
"What?" Sora bristled. "Riku could be who knows where, with something hurting him, and I'm stuck here while he's suffering in silence. Again!"
Sora wilted, he knew this anger was misplaced, but he was panicking and he didn't know what to do. He didn't know what was wrong with Riku, but Kairi did. Was he not trustworthy? Was he a bad friend? Did he do something to make Riku so mad at him he wouldn't tell him he was hurting? He thought they'd made it past all that.
"It's called Hanahaki." Kairi finally said. "It's a disease that is made from the unrequited feelings for another. They grow flowers in someone's lungs, coughing them up until it becomes too much and they suffocate and die."
"WHAT?!" Sora exclaimed. "Why wouldn't you tell me?! How do we fix it?!"
"He has to love and be loved by the one he has feelings for." Kairi answered.
"Who? Who is it?!" Sora begged. He needed to know. He needed to find them so he could save Riku. He didn't miss the stab in his heart when he thought that.
"It's you, Sora." Kairi said.
Sora felt a wave of emotions that he couldn't quite grasp at first. Joy that it was him, confusion that it was him, sadness he hadn't realized sooner. Maybe Sora was a little dumb.
"Me?" Sora pointed to himself. Kairi nodded.
He wanted to think on it, why Riku would choose him when he could have anyone else, but he was ecstatic. Then, suddenly fearful. Riku was still missing and they had no idea where he'd gone. Sora urged Kairi.
"We have to find him. I have to... I have to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid." Kairi nodded in agreement. "You check the Gummi Ship, I'll try the clock tower!"
They set off in their own directions, Sora using every ability he had to get there faster. He launched himself off the wall and into the air, hopping off buildings and over rooftops. His feet hit the pavement and he ran up the road to the clock tower. Riku wasn't there. Sora felt dread pooling in the pit of his stomach.
He ran up the stairs and reached the very top of the clock tower and there was nothing. No one was there. There was no proof that Riku had been or ever was even there. Sora felt his phone buzzing and he hurriedly answered it.
"Riku?!" He called.
"Nope, just me Sora." Kairi answered. Sora wilted, his breath picking up and his chest hurting with every shaky breath he took. "Sora. Sora, calm down. We'll find him. He hasn't left Twilight Town, the Gummi Ship is still here."
"But he could be anywhere!" Sora looked out over the gold bathed town. The walls blocking out the forestry, the forest leading to a broken down mansion... wait. "Kairi, meet me at the mansion outside of town."
"What? Where?" Kairi was running back into town. Sora jumped off the clock tower gliding towards the outskirts of town.
"By the back wall of town there's a crack in the wall that leads to the forest, the path will take you to the mansion. Meet me there. I think I know where Riku is."
Sora felt the air blowing through his hair as he made his way towards the mansion, towards that plain white room Riku had told him about. The room he'd said he'd spent so much time in, so much time staring at pictures that would fix his chain of memories.
So much time waiting.
Sora landed, stumbling as he tripped over the overgrown flora. He saw it then. There was a trail of spattered blood and purple, pink, white, and red flowers all of them covered in blood. It trailed inside. Riku was inside. He stood and shoved the door open, calling out for Riku.
"Riku! Riku, where are you?!" Sora ran up the stairs and towards that room. The blood he followed made his stomach twist with dread at every step. Could he be too late? Sora pushed to door open and-
Riku was laid against the wall, slumped in a corner, hiding where he hoped no one would find him.
A weak cough fell from his lips. Flowers fell from between his lips. He saw Riku's chest spasm as more of the little blooms caused great distress.
Sora crept closer. He was worried if he were any louder he would spook Riku. Finally, he reached his side and sat down next to him. Riku opened his eyes when he felt something shift beside him. He flinched when he saw Sora.
"I... it's not what it looks like..." Riku whispered another cough wracking his frame.
Sora reached up and brushed away a flower with his thumb.
"Then what does it look like?" Sora knew he had to choose his words carefully. Riku would run away from him again and he might lose him forever if he says the wrong thing now. "What's wrong? Please tell me Riku... I don't want to lose you. Not now or ever again."
Riku didn't speak for a long time, Sora was worried he'd ran out of time and he was too late to save Riku. He coughed weakly.
"It's these flowers that show up in my lungs..." Riku held up the blood stained flowers. Now that he was really paying attention to it, it looked like one of the flowers he really liked when he was little. It smelled really nice and he loved how it attracted pretty butterflies, but now? Now it filled his being with a skin-prickling dread that hit him in heated waves. "They show up when someone has unrequited feelings for another."
"Who is it?" Sora asked knowing full and well that it was him. "I want to help you. I don't want to see you withering away like this..."
"I know they don't love me." Riku said.
"That's a load of-" Sora felt some type of anger rising in his throat, but he swallowed it down just as quickly as it came. "Did you ever ask them? Do you know they wouldn't love you back?"
"I've seen the way he looks at someone else." Riku looked off into the nothingness. "I know I'd never be their first choice."
"You don't know that!" "How do you know that they wouldn't put you first? That they wouldn't cherish and love your feelings wholly?" How do you know that I wouldn't be hung on your every word?
"It's not that simple... I fear rejection and what his reaction would be..." Sora felt his heart sink, plummet even. Riku was growing weaker. Sora cupped his face in his hands making him look at him through barely open eyes.
"His reaction would be 'I love you!'" Sora cried. "He loves you! He loves you so much and you're too stupid to see that!"
The tears were falling fast now. They stung his eyes and making his vision blurry.
"How can you not see that I love you...?" Sora's voice cracked and wavered. "Have I not been showing how much I care about you? Haven't I shown you that I would go to the ends of the worlds for you?"
Riku's eyes fluttered and Sora felt him grow weaker. He let out the softest breathy laugh.
"All I've ever wanted to hear... and it's seconds away from death." Sora felt a sob bubble out of his throat. "Destiny never seemed to favor me..."
"Don't you dare give up on me now! Not when you barely allowed me to love you all this time!" Sora begged.
"...'s okay... Sora... Kairi's... with..."
"It's not okay!" Sora exclaimed."None of this is okay! I love you! I love you so much but you're too stubborn to see that!"
He hit his fist lightly against Riku's chest. Blood stained his white shirt. Sora felt his breath shudder. He leaned down and laid his head on Riku's shoulder.
"Why do you insist on doing everything all by yourself? I'm right here. I'm right here beside you." Sora whispered. "You don't have to fight alone anymore. I'm right here."
Sora could hear the wheezing stuttering breaths that Riku took. It made him sick. He sat up again. Riku was so pale. He looked like death had touched his skin, stealing away his life. The chain around his neck weighed heavy. He took it off and hung it in front of Riku's face.
"You made a promise to me, remember?" Riku's blank stare made something crack inside him, the dam was about to break.
"Sora... you don't... you don't need me anymore..." Riku mumbled.
"That's a lie!" Sora screamed. "I need you! I'll always need you! And if you think that I don't, then I guess this stupid thing is useless!"
Sora raised his hand to throw it away but he wouldn't, rather, he couldn't. The promise was still fresh, still his, still theirs. Sora couldn't throw it away even if he lost all his memories. The notion that it was something so very important to him was ingrained in his mind.
His hand fell into his lap. His finger traced the charm. He felt naked without it around his neck. The familiar weight no longer around his neck.
"I still need you Riku." Sora's body trembled. "I still need you. I love you."
Sora imagined his words fell on deaf ears. He was terrified to look up now. He was terrified to know if he was really truly gone. Sora intertwined Riku's limp, blood stained hand in his, a sob breaking from his throat. His head rested on his shoulder again.
"I love you..."
The silence stretched on, the breeze flowing into the room making the curtains flutter. Sora watched them. They looked like wings flapping in the breeze. Occasionally, he'd hear the sound of rustling paper. A forgotten scrap from when Namine lived in this room.
Riku was still warm. His hand felt warm in his own. He craved the feeling, but he wondered if it was fleeting.
Sora heard the door open. He looked up to see Kairi standing there. She looked at Sora with the most heartbroken look. He knew that look. He knew it was pity and sadness. Sora looked away.
He would grieve.
Would he be able to speak? To move?
His throat felt like he was being choked with barbed wire. Kairi settled down next to him, her hand on his back as she rubbed soothing circles along it. The sob that ripped from his throat was loud, wounded. Sora wrapped his arms around Riku not wanting to ever let go as sobs shook his frame. Tears streamed down his face, hot and fat as he begged and prayed to whoever would listen to him to let him keep Riku. He begged them to give him back to him.
He felt Kairi's hand in his messy hair, petting along it to provide soothing comfort, but her hand was still at his back.
Sora sat up quickly, his eyes still brimming with tears.
Riku sat there smiling at him. He looked exhausted and he still had blood all over himself, but he was alive. That horrible wheeze from before was gone and Riku was alive again. Sora beamed and launched himself into Riku's arms. He held him, just as tightly as he did when he found him in Quadratum.
"Don't keep secrets from me... I thought we were past that..." Sora whispered into the crook of Riku's neck.
"I was insecure... I'm sorry." Riku admitted. Sora pulled back quickly.
"I don't care! You don't keep secrets from me!" Sora cried. "I'm your best friend and I love you!"
Riku visibly softened.
"Say it again please..." He asked carefully. Sora calmed instantly.
"I love you." Sora finally said.
Riku embraced Sora tightly again, his head resting against Sora's chest listening to his pounding heart.
Yeah, this was good. They could fix this. It might not be linear, but Sora was willing to work for it. He did love Riku after all.
The two heart stifled laugh behind them. Sora peaked over his shoulder. Kairi had her phone out taking pictures or a video, he wasn't sure.
"Ha... I'm sending this to everyone."
"KAIRI!"