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Sam could feel the soft scratch of the rough black fabric Sebastian’s couch was upholstered with. It was an uncomfortable sensation amplified by the awkward angle his neck had been at for the past few hours. He sat up with a yawn and a stretch, relieving some of the built up tension in his spine, evident by the loud cracks. It took a moment for his brain to jog back up to speed and remember the previous night. Sun filtered in from the tiny basement window on the east wall of Sebastian’s room, Sam reveled in the warmth it provided. It was light out - that meant morning, which meant Jodi was going to be worried sick about him not coming home last night and he would surely be met with approximately 30 missed calls. Sam groaned and swung his legs off the sofa, digging the heels of his hands at his eyes in an attempt to get rid of the grogginess and brain fog. He knew he had work today, he knew he shouldn’t have drank as many beers as he did last night - the proof was littered on the floor. A drunk game of Solarian Chronicles was a fun idea until he woke up with a raging hangover and nausea.
Sam looked over to Sebastian, sleeping ever so peacefully. His shiny obsidian hair fanned gracefully over the pillow, blanket pulled over his shoulders that rose and fell with every slow breath, lips parted ever so slightly - until he woke with a sudden start and - ok, yeah he’s puking in his trash can. Ew. Sam quickly turned away in fear of him doing the same.
“Sam?” Sebastian asked in a puzzled, hoarse voice. “You’re still here?” It was quiet and gravely, stomach acid burning his throat.
“Just woke up.” Sam responded in a groggy tone, sleep dripping from his words. He turned back to face Sebastian, who was now wiping his mouth with his sweater sleeve and looking away embarrassed.
“Sorry.” He mumbles, refusing to make eye contact.
“It’s okay, ‘s all good.” Sam’s words were slurred and soft. “You want coffee?” He asked with one last stretch before rising to his feet, stumbling as he did so.
“Don't you have work?” Sebastian curled back under his blanket, shivering momentarily from the early autumn air. The heaters hadn’t quite kicked in yet and it made the basement absolutely freezing. How Sam was walking in just a shirt and jeans, Sebastian had no clue.
“I’ll get Shane to cover.” Sam shrugged as he began to pick up the stray beer bottles strewn about the room.
“You don’t have to do that, y’know.” He spoke in reference to Sam’s act of service, though making no effort to move from his bed. Sam rolled his eyes with a scoff and a smile.
“Who else is gonna, dude? You don’t clean.” Sam teased, setting the empty beer bottles back in the cardstock carriers for easy transportation. He moved on to picking up the stray minifigures to put away Solarian Chronicles; he knew Sebastian would have his head if he lost any.
“Shut up, man. Your room isn’t any better.” Sebastian mumbled in defense as Sam simply shook his head.
“Whatever you say.” Sam said playfully before picking up the beer and day-old pizza box. “Take care of your puke, that’s gross as hell.” He said finally before going up the stairs.
“You’re gross as hell!” Sebastian shouts with no real malice, he knew Sam was right.
After taking care of the trash he sent a quick text to Shane about covering his shift. There was no way he would be happy about it but Shane definitely needed the money. Coffee was just about the only thing Sam knew how to make, aside from microwavable foods - even then he had managed to burn quite a few plates of pizza rolls. Sebastian would always say he preferred his coffee black, then choke down the bitter liquid and internally regret this decision; Sam had seen him do this enough times to realize it was part of the “bad boy” persona he was so fond of, and really he liked his coffee with 3 creams and 3 three sugars. Over time Sam had grown accustomed to his faux-nonchalant, ennui attitude - in reality Sebastian was a nervous wreck with an idealized fantasy of himself in his head. Sam was more emotionally intelligent than he seemed, he easily saw through Sebastian’s facade to the anxiety riddled introvert he truly was. Sebastian found solace in the ability to drop his guard around Sam, no expectation to perform since there was no longer any use. Sam enjoyed this fact, he felt like he saw a special side of Sebastian that no one else had access to.
Sam was lost in thought, leaning back against the counter listening to the steady drip drip drip of the coffee machine before Sebastian startled him out of it. He exited the bathroom with his blanket still strung over his shoulders and Sam hadn’t even noticed him come upstairs.
“You alright?” Sebastian questioned with a curious tilt of the head and a genuine concern. Sam had a tendency to space out like that, it was nothing new to anyone.
“Yeah, I’m good. Great actually.” Sam smiled wide at this honest version of Sebastian - comfortable, domestic, sincere. Sam thought he might never want to leave. He then realized he had been grinning stupidly, staring at his friend for an abnormal amount of time. “Uh- since I’m free today did you wanna hang out some more?”
“I might need some time to recharge.” He replies earnestly, leaning against the counter next to Sam. Even at the face of rejection Sam wasn’t upset, if it was anyone else Sebastian likely would’ve made up a dumb excuse to get them out as soon as possible. Instead Sam poured a cup of coffee for him, three teaspoons of sugar and three teaspoons of cream. He handed Sebastian the cup with a soft smile.
“I understand.” He met Sebastian with acceptance, obeying the boundaries he so carefully put in place.
Sebastian had noticed a change in Sam - the first few years of their friendship and onward Sam had been overexcitable, invasive, touchy. So many of the things he hated in everyone else yet tolerated in Sam. More recently however, something seemed to have switched inside him. He adapted to Sebastian, saw him for what he really was and respected it - honored it. Sam never lost that puppy dog shine in his eyes, but he listened, truly listened. He had never let himself feel vulnerable around others and yet there was something about Sam that dragged it out of him. He wasn’t scared by this revelation, but rather the fact that he was okay with it. It was one of his favorite attributes about Sam.
“Well - I mean you can stay if you want.” Sebastian shrugged and took the first sip of his coffee - just how he liked it. This time it wasn’t that he was trying to look cool, he just wasn’t sure how to properly articulate his thoughts. He didn’t need to recharge after being around Sam like he did with others, quite the opposite. Sam was a huge source of comfort for him, just being in his presence without interacting was how he would prefer to spend most of his time.
“You sure?” Sam took a sip of his own coffee, looking down at Sebastian with a surprised expression.
“Please,” Sebastian muttered, inching closer in an attempt to steal some of Sam’s body heat. Despite the blanket over his shoulders and the warm coffee mug in his hands, he still felt a frigid chill prod at his bones.
For Sam this was practically a monumental moment. Sebastian was moving closer to him and actively asking for his presence. It was akin to a cat finally coming out of hiding and nuzzling your ankles. Sam could feel a giddy smile form on his lips, subconsciously leaning into Sebastian’s form.
“Don’t look so happy about it, dork.” Sebastian said with a breath of air from his nose in a wry laugh. He tucked himself against Sam’s side, puzzled as to how he’s still warm. He nurses the cup of coffee in his hands.
“Clingy much?” Sam remarks teasingly in an attempt to turn the attention away from his stupid smile. He hoped Sebastian couldn’t hear his heartbeat pounding.
“Fuck you, dude. It’s not my fault you’re like a walking space heater.” His words have no bite, simple banter at its finest.
“How about now?” Sam asks before shoving an icy hand against Sebastian’s neck, making him flinch and spill some of his coffee from the physical recoil.
“Ugh! You’re a dick! Yoba forbid a guy be cold.” Sebastian’s eyebrows furrowed as his bottom lip stuck out into a pout. He looked down at the large wet stain on the front of his T-shirt. It was black, at least. Sam immediately grabbed a paper towel and began to dab at the mark, his other hand rested on Sebastian’s waist to stabilize him.
“I’m sorry, Seb!” Sam apologized with a regretful smile and those large blue puppy dog eyes. That was all it took for Sebastian - Sam could stain his whole wardrobe with coffee and as long as he flashed those eyes Sebastian would forgive him in an instant. The hand on his waist made him shiver in a way that couldn’t be passed off as just the temperature. Sebastian rarely let anyone touch him, especially without permission, and yet he didn’t mind when it was Sam - in fact he welcomed it. Sebastian simply rolled his eyes.
“Whatever.” Sam’s hand tightened on Sebastian’s waist before he realized what he was doing.
“Oh! Sorry.” Sam took his hands off Sebastian, once again unnecessarily apologizing. Sam knew about Sebastian’s aversion to physical touch and worried he had overstepped.
“You’re fine.” Sebastian spoke in a rush of confidence, taking Sam’s hands and holding them in his own, staring up at the other boy. Sebastian himself wasn’t even sure of what he was doing, all he knew was that it felt right. Sam’s cheeks produced a pink dusting as blood rose to the surface of the skin. Sebastian had to bite back a smile at the sight.
“Ha- hahahaaa..” Sam’s words were failing him, he had nothing to say but so many questions to ask. He was perplexed by this behavior from Sebastian, it went against everything he knew. Typically Sebastian would only allow so much touching before telling Sam to quit it, he had never initiated it. An arm around the shoulder or legs over his lap was fine, but there was a certain point where Sebastian got overwhelmed by it and Sam would reluctantly oblige to stop. It seemed as though he tolerated rather than enjoyed it. Sam could only laugh awkwardly as he watched Sebastian gnaw at his lower lip.
“You alright?” Sebastian hadn’t considered how Sam’s own behavior flipped back on him would make him feel. He hadn’t expected a nervous mess to appear before him, not that he was particularly complaining. Sebastian’s thumbs soothed over the backs of Sam’s calloused hands - they were bigger than his, just slightly, and his cuticles were clearly bitten and clawed at. Remnant ink of a reminder Sam left himself still stained his skin. It was as if Sebastian could see the cogs physically turning inside of Sam’s head.
“You’ve just never touched me first before.” Sam said in a sort of starstruck awe. Sebastian smiled at this.
“Am I not allowed to?” His eyebrows quirked and there was a hint of actual concern laced through his teasing voice. Sam immediately began to sputter and shake his head.
“No - I mean yeah - wait. No, I-I like it.” His face flushed into a deeper pinkish hue and Sebastian could feel warmth spread from the tips of his ears to his cheeks. This was toeing the line of just friendship, plausible deniability. However, neither were sure if there was anything to deny. There had always been a sort of unspoken something between them that they both understood, yet never acknowledged.
“Sebby?” Robin called out in a sing-song manner. Sebastian immediately dropped Sam’s hands as she turned the corner. Sebastian turned his gaze towards the ground as he felt heat rise to his cheeks, bundling himself in his blanket. Sam fiddled his hands behind his back and opted to focus on the cereals on top of the fridge.
“Oh, Sam’s still here! I was gonna ask if you wanted any breakfast, I’m thinking about making waffles.” Sam’s face visibly lit up at the mention of waffles. He always thought it was interesting how such a nurturing woman could produce someone so moody.
“I’ll take some!”
“I’m alright, thanks.”
Robin nodded and Sebastian made his way to the front door, glancing back at Sam, silently telling him to follow. They stepped out to the bitter autumnal atmosphere, Sebastian immediately shivered and tugged the blanket tighter around himself. Sam stepped closer, taking the blanket and wrapping it around the both of them, trapping the two’s body heat inside the soft fabric. It had just rained, the smell of mud and wet leaves eliminated from the earth as the chatter of far away birds filled the air. Sebastian reached behind his ear with a shaky hand, taking the cigarette he stashed there and holding it to his lips.
“Got a light?” Sebastian’s voice was wobbly as he looked up at the other boy. The height difference had always bothered Sebastian - even if it was only a few inches, he still had to crane his neck to look up at Sam.
Wordlessly, Sam reached into his pocket and brought the lighter up to Sebastain’s cigarette. His other hand stayed on the blanket, firmly keeping it closed. Sebastian had seen Sam with unstyled hair plenty of times, but rarely in natural light like this. The bleach blonde mullet cascaded down to his shoulders, spiky and sticking out every which way. His typically slicked back fringe now dangling over his eyes; he needed to touch up his roots. Sebastian inhaled as the tip of the cigarette flared that amber glow. He wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his life having moments like this - an apartment in Zuzu city, up on the fire escape doing this exact same thing. Sam tucked the lighter back in his pocket.
“Thanks.”
Sebastian uttered quietly before leaning his head onto Sam’s shoulder, indulging in the body heat. He looked up at him and brought the cigarette to Sam’s lips, watching intently as Sam’s hand covered his. He closed his eyes and inhaled, letting the tobacco smoke fill his lungs before exiting his mouth, billowing up into the air in transparent gray tendrils. Sam didn’t smoke often, preferred the greener stuff, but he would gladly share a cigarette with Sebastian. He could feel Sam’s rough hand envelop his - years of guitar playing and bracing his falls lead to the textured palms he had now. Sebastian felt almost dazed, he was more relaxed than he had been in weeks. Sam’s hand dropped from his as he took another drag. He felt warm, content, floaty - in an almost dreamlike state where his actions had no effect. His brain traveled to just a few moments ago, Sam’s pink lips curling around the filter, parting as he exhaled. He held the smoke in for another beat and he could feel it begin to sting his lungs.
With the cigarette still between his index and middle, Sebastian reached his hand up and cupped Sam’s cheek. Sam took in a shuddery breath as his eyes widened, taking in Sebastian’s appearance - a gentle smile playing on his lips, flushed face, drooping eyelids, bed head. Then in an instant Sebastian got closer and Sam could no longer make out his features, so he shut his eyes. Sebastian’s lips were like a soothing balm against his own, so warm. The kiss was gentle and chaste as Sebastian exhaled the smoke into his mouth, tobacco burning his tongue in such an addicting way. It was thereupon that Sebastian realized what he had just done.
“Oh.” Sebastian pulled away, a look of shock on his face as his cheeks flushed brighter. The cigarette fell onto the ground beneath, quickly extinguishing.
“Oh.” Sam’s mouth curled into a surprised grin. Sebastian had never been one to make a first move.
“We…should probably go back inside.” Sebastian averted his gaze, pulling his hand away.
“Sure, yeah.” Sam attempted to conceal his giddiness, but it was no use.