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At Least the Food is Good

Summary:

Dean loves to sneak into office Christmas parties for the free food. Usually, no one questions his presence, and he can eat before sneaking out. This office is more chatty than he is used to.

Notes:

I wanted to do something special for A, M, and Dark. To say thank you for not only all the support you have given me, but for putting up with my really weird ass self. That all takes some talent and you deserve a little something 💙💙💙

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Dean wasn’t a bad person, and he wasn’t doing anything bad. Not at all! Not even in the slightest. Look, he didn’t need to work at one of those fancy corporate jobs to know that the company ran their workers to the ground. Only then to reward them with a cheap party and cheap food. So, maybe Dean would sneak into these buildings wearing a thrifted white dress shirt and a tacky tie. Maybe he was wearing blue jeans and his dirty boots, but it was supposed to be a Christmas party. He doubted anyone would really care if one of their “employees” were just a little out of dress code. 

It was never hard to find an office Christmas party. Just linger around the city during the wintertime. They always had the party days before Christmas, before everyone got the day off. All he had to do was walk into a building and try every floor until he found people wearing ugly Christmas sweaters, and awkwardly standing around, with a small plate of food in their hands. 

So far, Dean had hit up three Christmas parties and found himself in a fourth one in some place called Sandover. No one noticed a random omega walking in and heading right for the table. He had to admit, this place had more than the other parties he sneaked into. He loaded his plate with chips and dip, cheese and crackers, those fancy little hot dogs in barbecue sauce, and pinwheel sandwiches. Oh, and those sugar cookies loaded with sprinkles. Dean grinned at his plate; it was heavy and stacked to the heavens. 

He didn’t consider it stealing. He was just helping these workers stick it to the man. 

Plus, he was a jobless, homeless omega. He deserved to eat. 

Dean stopped at the end of his table and placed his plate down just long enough to grab a cup and fill it with punch. 

“Hey.” A low voiced hissed out. 

Dean jumped, almost spilling his drink. He looked over to see an alpha with blonde hair, blue eyes, and, for someone who worked in an office, hadn’t bothered to shave in days. He felt his gut twist, sure he had finally been caught, and his mind was already racing for an excuse. The alpha, who was not wearing office attire or an ugly sweater, but a brown leather jacket over a white t-shirt, shuffled closer to him. The alpha looked around them, and then he glared right into Dean’s eye. A smirk graced his face, and he reached into his leather coat and… 

Pulled out a metal flask. 

His smirk grew, and he gave it a little shake. “Want some?” 

Relief washed over Dean. He really needed to chill. Only nervous people got busted. 

“I’d love some.” He answered, extending his cup out. The alpha poured more than a healthy amount into his cup. 

“I don’t care what the big man says, we deserve some fun.” The alpha told him. 

“I can cheer to that.” Dean said, clinking his red plastic cup to the alpha’s. 

They took a sip, but soon, he saw those blue eyes light up. The alpha had spotted something over Dean’s shoulder. Without another word, the alpha hurried off towards a cluster of desks that were in the center of the room. Dean watched him stop right near a guy with dark, messy hair and an ugly blue Christmas sweater. 

Dean grabbed his plate, or tried to. It was too heavy to hold with one hand. So, he put his cup down, grabbed his plate, and searched for a place to sit. A lot of people were eating at their desks. Some folks were standing near the receptionist’s desk. Some desks were pretty empty near the back. Behind those desks were two doors, one open, one closed. The open door, he could see that there was a breakroom, and there were a few people in there, but he’d rather sit in a spot that was as empty as it could be. 

The less he talked to people, the less his risks of getting caught. 

Dean took his plate to an empty desk and set it down. He planned to hurry back and grab his drink. His feet were already in motion when— 

“Psst!” A voice called out behind him. 

Dean didn’t have to look at the guy to know he was an omega. His scent was so sweet, he could barely make it out. He turned to see who was calling out, and his mouth dropped open. The omega, who was peaking out of the door that had just been closed, was… He was… Well… He was something. The short guy with honey hazel eyes and the longest sandy blonde hair was wearing something out of this world. He had an elf hat that dipped down with a big red pom-pom at the end. A red velvet blazer on, and green pants that were honest-to-God sequined. Dean’s eyes dropped, and the guy was even wearing elf shoes that curled at the toes. 

“You.” The omega said. “What’s your name again?” 

“Dean, Dean Smith.” He answered quickly. No way he was giving out his last name. 

“Yeah, right, help me with something.” The omega said, gesturing for him to follow him. 

Dean felt dread curl inside of him. Out of all the parties he had crashed, no one had talked to him, ever. Now this was the second guy chatting him up… No… Not chatting him up, asking him for help, but Dean didn’t know shit when it came to office-y things! Just fake it until you make it Dean reminded himself. Not like he had much of a choice. All he had to do was see what this guy wanted. If he passed work onto him, no big deal. It wasn’t like Dean would be sticking around once his belly was full. He followed the guy into the small room and spotted a huge, bulky printer that looked older than his Impala. Even better, if this guy wanted him to fix it, he’d just poke around, pretend to work on it, and then tell him there was nothing he could do. 

However, he froze when the omega started to take off his pants. Dean’s mouth flew open, ready to protest, but before he could, the guy was already speaking. “Keep an eye out for me, will ya? Make sure Mikey doesn’t catch me.” 

Dean didn’t question him. He quickly turned around and stood guard. Thankful he wasn’t about to be sexually harassed. He listened as he heard the guy climb onto the printer and then start it up. 

“Not a Christmas party unless everyone ends up with a photo of my ass, know what I mean?” The omega asked. 

“Oh, yeah, totally.” Dean answered. He didn't get it at all, and he didn’t care. He just wanted to eat his food and get the hell out of there. 

“Say? What department are you in again?” The omega asked over a printer that sounded like it was giving its all just to do the job. 

Shit… Dean had no clue what the hell this place was. 

“Accounting.” He blurted out because he was pretty sure every office had that department. 

“Oh yeah, right. I remember now.” The omega said, and Dean felt like he could breathe just a little bit easier. “This party is lame, right?” 

Dean shrugged. “The food is good.” 

“Food would be better if we could eat it off pornstars.” The omega said, and Dean thought about it. 

Yeah, he wouldn’t mind eating some food off a smoking hot alpha now that he thought about it. It would be a real Christmas treat, and HR’s nightmare. 

The printer stopped sounding like it was breaking from the inside out, and he heard the omega jump down. However, he didn’t turn around until he heard the sound of a zipper being tugged up. 

“All done?” He asked.

His answer was in the form of a slap on the back. The omega scooted around him with a stack of photocopies of his butt. The short omega grinned up at him. “Thanks for being a lamb.” 

With that, the omega left, and Dean watched him go desk to desk, shoving copies of his ass into drawers. 

Well, the good news is, with that omega walking around dressed like that, no one would look twice at what Dean was wearing. 

He hurried back to the table, grabbed his drink, and then rushed back to his plate of food. He even managed to sit down, and finally, he would be able to eat. He loaded a chip with dip and was bringing it to his mouth when an omega sat down right next to him. 

“This party sucks.” She grumbled. Dean looked over and saw the omega with long dark hair and a mating bite on the side of her neck. “Can’t believe I’m missing time with my pup for this snoozer.” 

She took a long pull from the red solo cup. Dean could smell the booze from where he sat. 

“Sorry about that.” He said, not knowing what else to say. 

“When Michael said it was an adult-only party, I thought it’d be something fun. Not a thrown-together grade school party.” She grumbled. 

Dean threw the chip into his mouth. “At least the food is good.” 

“If you say so.” 

“Kelly!” The alpha who had spiked Dean’s drink earlier called out. He watched the alpha swagger over to them, and great, so much for quietly eating and ducking out. “Why the long face?” 

“This party sucks.” Kelly glared up at him. 

The alpha smirked and sat on the edge of her desk. “Then let’s get our revenge. Let’s have sex on Michael’s desk.” 

“Seriously, Lucifer?” 

Lucifer simply shrugged. “What? It’s not like he can fire you. Seeing how I’m his beloved brother and you are the wife of that beloved brother.” 

Finally, a smile crept across Kelly’s face. “You know? What the hell?” 

Lucifer nodded at Dean. “What about you? What’s your name? You gotta hook up with anyone?” 

“Lucifer!” Kelly snapped. “He has a name!” 

She looked over at him, then frowned. He could see the discomfort all over her face, thinking she had forgotten his name. Dean helped her by shoving more food into his mouth. 

“What about that guy?” Lucifer pointed to that guy with dark, messy hair. The man in question was carefully putting cheese on a cracker. “He seriously needs to get laid. He hasn’t knotted anyone since he and Crowley split.” 

Kelly gasped. “Nooooo! They broke up?!” 

Lucifer hummed. “Oh yeah! For months now.” 

“Wait!” Another alpha, an older balding one, yelped. He quickly came over and joined the party. “When?! How?!” 

Dean shrank into himself and quietly ate his food as he listened to the office gossip. 

“I thought he was going to propose to Crowley!” Kelly said like she was on some drama show. 

“He was.” Lucifer told everyone. “Then Crowley got a new job offer and totally left him in the dust.” 

“Noooooooooo.” Kelly gasped. 

“So how about it?” Lucifer asked, and it took a moment for Dean to realize the guy was talking to him. 

“Huh?” Dean asked with a mouth full of food. 

“Do you wanna tap that?” Lucifer pointed at the guy again, who now saw them all staring at him. Dean tried to shake his head, but it was too late. “Yo! Cassie!” 

Dean watched in horror as this Cassie guy gently put his cracker down and stood up. His heart raced in his chest as the guy walked over to them. He found himself wondering how he got into this mess. Maybe crashing office parties wasn’t such a great gig. One of them would eventually realize that he didn’t work here. They would know that he was stealing, and then what would happen to him? Dean didn’t want to find out. He wanted to get up and sprint out of here, but he couldn’t get his body to move. 

“Yes?” Cassie asked in a deep voice that sent shivers down Dean’s spine. He took a deep breath and got the guy’s scent.

It left Dean feeling warm. The guy smelled like vanilla, and Dean had never met an alpha that smelled like vanilla before. There were also hints of perubalsam and vetiver. The alpha smelled sweet, but still like an alpha. It made him dizzy; he had never scented a sweet-smelling alpha before. And those eyes, they were so blue, and Dean couldn’t look away. He felt like an omega being lured into the slaughter. And the worst thing was, he was pretty sure he’d follow those blue eyes to his doom. 

“This is, what’s his name?” Lucifer thumbed at Dean. 

Cassie frowned, his brows furrowing as his head tilted. “Who are you?” 

Dean opened his mouth, still full of food, but he didn’t have a quick answer. Between being put on the spot and Cassie’s scent, his brain was offline. 

“Dean from accounting, duh.” The omega in the elf outfit said.  

“Oooooooh.” Kelly sighed and nodded her head. 

Cassie’s cheeks turned a shade of pink. “Oh right…” 

“You are all so horrible.” The elf omega scolded. He plopped a seat on the desk Dean was at and dared to steal a chip off his plate. 

Cassie turned to Lucifer. “May I help you?” 

“In fact, you can, Cassie.” Lucifer answered and gestured at Dean. He was not about to be set up for a hook-up, so Dean came close to picking up his plate and throwing it at Lucifer’s face. “Dean here wants to—” 

“It’s Castiel.” Cassie, er… Castiel sighed. 

“Yeah, whatever.” Lucifer waved at him dismissively. “Do you wanna—” 

“Well, I’m done!” Dean grabbed his plate and stood up. Fuck eating here. This was the weirdest damn office he had ever crashed. He would take his food and get the hell out of here. 

“Hello, everyone.” A voice called out. “May I have your attention?” 

The alpha did have everyone’s attention. They all looked over at him. Even Dean had frozen mid-run with his heavy plate in his hand. The alpha looked scary, with no emotion on his face. His dark hair was cut neatly, like a serial killer. The alpha stood tall, and Dean could feel the leadership oozing off this guy. Shit, this was the boss, and Dean was standing up, easy to see. The alpha’s eyes gazed at the room, even landing on Dean. Briefly before moving on, but he knew he wasn’t in the clear yet.

“I want to thank you all for the hard work this year. Sandover may be a Novak legacy, but we only thrive because of all you.” The alpha said. “I hope you all have enjoyed the party.” 

“Of course!” Kelly said. 

Lucifer gave the alpha a thumbs up. “It’s been a blast, Michael.” 

“No one throws a party like you!” The elf omega said. 

Finally, a small smile tugged on the alpha’s, Michael’s, lips. It made him look less scary. Maybe Dean could make it out of here in one piece. 

“I uh… I wanted to give you all an extra thanks. So if you don’t mind forming a neat line.” Michael said, and Dean saw his opening. 

He could slip out, and no one would notice. He went to make his exit, but he was tugged back by the elf guy. “Where are you going? This is the best part!” 

Dean felt his stomach flop as he was dragged near the line. There was no getting out of this now. If he broke free and ran, they would for sure call the cops. All he could do was get into line and think of the best damn excuse. No problem. Dean had gotten himself out of plenty of pickles before. He would just tell Michael that he didn’t work here, and he was a plus-one. 

No… That wouldn’t work. Everyone seemed to work here. There were no plus ones. The only couple here both worked here. Oh shit… Okay, he could figure this out. There were five people in front of him. He could just act like he realized he was on the wrong floor. No, that was stupid, and now there were only five people in front of him. He could figure this out, and he was still figuring it out as he watched Michael hand something out. Then there were two. Okay, maybe he could throw himself on his knees and beg this Michael guy not to call the cops. Remind him of the spirit of Christmas. Only, this was a corporation, and everyone knew they didn’t have souls. 

The last person in front of him stepped out of the line, and Dean was face-to-face with the alpha. He saw a stack of envelopes in Michael’s hands, and all Dean could do was clutch onto his plate. He watched Michael sift through the envelopes, and then frown. Oh, he was so fucking busted. The alpha went through the envelopes again, and Dean still didn’t have a plan to get himself out of this. He swallowed when Michael lifted his head and looked at all the people in line, and then back down at the envelopes. 

Micheal stared to go through the envelopes again, and Dean thought he would die. He almost did when elf omega threw his arm around his waist. “Michael D Novak! Don’t you tell me you forgot Dean from accounting?!” 

“I uh…” Michael stuttered, and Dean swore he could see the guy sweating bullets. 

“Dude! What the hell?!” Elf omega gasped. “Do you know how hard Dean works?!” 

“I… I don’t know what to say…” Michael looked up and gave Dean a fearful look. “It’s just been so busy and I… I thought I had everyone… I… I don’t know how this happened…” 

“It’s okay?” Dean asked. He couldn’t give a damn just as long as he could get out of here without cuffs around his wrists. 

“It is most certainly not okay.” Michael said, tucking the envelopes under his arm. Dean watched him reach into his coat pocket and pull out his wallet. 

Dean’s eyes doubled in size. “Oh! No! This is not necessary!” 

“It is.” Michael said, opening his wallet. “I wanted to give everyone a gift. It’s small, but no one will be left out.” 

Michael pulled out a hundred-dollar bill, and Dean could hardly believe it. The alpha offered it to him, but he just stood there like an idiot before he found his voice. “Dude, you don’t have to do that because you forgot a card!” 

“That’s what’s in the card.” Michael said, tucking the bill between Dean’s fingers. “It’s small, I know, but I just wanted to personally thank you for all the hard work.” 

“You’re welcome.” Dean muttered, feeling dazed as he stumbled away. 

Dean stared at the bill in his hand. He could get food with this. So much food that he wouldn’t have to worry about it for a while. He looked around the room and saw people throwing their plates away while others were putting on their coats. He had been seen by everyone, and no one realized he didn’t work with them. He spotted Castiel, slipping on his tan coat, and an idea popped into Dean’s head. 

A horrible idea. 

An idea that could get him into trouble, but… 

That Castiel guy was hot, and Dean wanted to get to know him. Besides, it would be kind of fun to see how long he could hang out in this place before people realized he didn’t work there. Oh, what the hell? Dean had to find a way to make life interesting. 



Notes:

Happy Holidays, everyone! 🎄🎄🎄

Okay, so this was a little late, but life got sooo freaky crazy! But better late than never, right? 🤣

But low key, kind of wanna do a series with this story. Which I totally plan too eventually lol

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