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It’s 11 pm on a Friday and Buck is exhausted. The kind of exhaustion that sinks into your muscles, into your bones. He should probably head home and pass out until it goes away.
He downs his drink instead.
The bar is loud, louder than Buck’s thoughts, which comes as a blessing at this time of night. The time when he usually starts thinking and feeling a bit too hard.
There’s a girl, a brunette, eyeing him across the room. She’s cute, a little older probably, and definitely Buck’s type. He raises his now empty glass at her and winks.
Three hours later, Buck’s laying on his back staring at the ceiling. The brunette—Hayley? Harley?—is asleep next to him.
He wishes he was more drunk.
More drunk and he could forget about everything.
More drunk and he could get away with calling Eddie up, but right now he’s just drunk enough to think about it and just sober enough to know it’s a bad idea.
Damn, he really misses Eddie.
He misses everyone: Bobby, Hen, Chimney, but not like he misses Eddie.
And Chris.
Closing his eyes, all he can see is Eddie’s face in the grocery store, filled with anger. Anger he’d never seen on Eddie before.
He turned over to look at the woman in his bed.
What would Eddie say if he could see him now?
———————————————
Eddie ducks and rolls as his opponent attempts to punch. He jumps up, his fists already ready to return the favor. He never gets the chance, as a swift kick lands right across the chest and he falls back to the ground.
POW!
Punch to the face. He spits out blood to the left, eyes closed. For a moment he sees Buck’s face.
He kicks up with both feet and hits squarely in the chest of his opponent. Right hook, uppercut, repeat.
Until he can’t see Buck’s face anymore.
Part of Eddie wants to call Buck, act like nothing’s wrong and just talk.
The other part of Eddie wants to beat the living crap out of him.
It’s that part of Eddie that drags himself home that night, into the shower and finally into his bed.
His bed where he stares up into the darkness, bruised and bleeding and exhausted.
What would Buck say if he could see him now?
———————————————
It continued like that for a week. Hookup apps, bars, coffee shops, Buck was meeting people anywhere and everywhere.
And sleeping with them.
He knew it was unhealthy. He was falling back into old habits, habits he’d had before Bobby’s help.
He was Buck 1.0 again.
But he didn’t know what else to do. He was lonely. He was lonely all the time. Missing work, missing his friends, missing his family.
And for just a few hours a day, he could forgot all of it. Hide himself in the body of a stranger and ignore all his problems. He could forget the lawsuit, he could forget that everyone hated him, he could forget that how much he missed his job.
“Well that was…” The man next to him breathed out.
“Yeah.” Buck replied, feeling numb. The fleeting feeling of forgetfulness never lasted very long.
“You’re like, really good at that.” Luke said, turning over in bed to face Buck.
Buck stayed staring at his ceiling.
“Hey, I know you said you weren’t looking for anything but would you wanna maybe… do this again?”
Buck had to think about it. He hadn’t slept with the same person twice in a while. It kept things simple, no attachments, no getting hurt.
No getting yelled at in a grocery store because you couldn’t bail them out of jail.
“Yeah, sure.”
“Cool. I’ll pick you up tomorrow, we’ll do something fun first.”
“This isn’t fun for you?” Buck finally turned to look at him, not able to stop himself from flirting.
“You know it is.” Luke smiled, getting up to put his clothes on. Buck watched him with concealed boredom.
He really missed his job.
———————————————
It been two days since his last fight but Eddie was still tired and sore. As he was most of the time these days. An entire week of off and on fighting rings will do that to a guy.
The shift was long and boring. Bosko was fun to hang out with, but she was no Buck.
God, Buck.
Eddie had to fight the urge to punch somebody just thinking about Buck. It made him wish he was back in the ring.
Just a couple more hours, he told himself. He had another fight lined up tonight. He’d drop Chris off at Abuela’s for the night.
Again.
He felt guilty about all the time spent away from his son, but he just couldn’t help it. The fights helped him release all the anger he was walking around with. Sometimes Eddie felt like a shaken can of soda, just waiting to explode. Buck’s lawsuit was like adding Mentos to the situation.
The metaphor came to Eddie after Chris’s science project last week, a science project that Chris had asked for Buck to help him with, which made Eddie extra mad.
At Buck.
Because he was mad at Buck.
Eddie didn’t know why he had to keep telling himself that, like there was some other feeling that was shaking the soda can.
“You alright there, Diaz?” Bobby asked, snapping him out of his metaphors.
“Yeah, cap. Just tired.”
“Aren’t we all.” Chimney chimed in, giving Eddie a wink.
He faked a smile back.
Bobby frowned.
“Eddie, you can always come to me if you need to talk about something, okay?”
“I know, captain.”
Just then, the alarm went off, cueing groans from all around the room.
Just a few more hours, Eddie repeated to himself.
———————————————
“So where exactly are we going?”
It’s the next night, a Saturday. Buck’s sitting in his very best blue shirt and jeans. The shirt that Eddie always said made his eyes look even prettier.
He was trying not to think about Eddie right now.
“You’ll see.” Luke gave him a wink, which Buck supposed was charming.
He was also trying to keep an open mind tonight. Best case scenario, they had fun and went back to have more great sex. Worst case scenario, Buck was bored and they went back to have more great sex.
Buck figured it was kind of a win-win.
Luke pulled into an empty parking lot, much to Buck’s confusion.
“What, we’re just gonna fuck here and then go fuck in my apartment?” He asked.
His date laughed.
“Is sex all you think about?”
He didn’t really want to answer that.
“Come on, get out.”
He did as told, even though his confusion was growing by the minute.
They walked in silence for a bit, out of the parking lot and towards what sounded like yelling. Buck was getting more concerned than confused now.
Should he have told someone where he was going?
His first instinct was to text Bobby, which he chastised himself for.
No. He didn’t have anyone to tell anyways, and if Luke was bringing him to get sacrificed by a cannibalistic cult, well then there was nothing to be done.
To his somewhat relief, it was not a cult gathering, but a…
Underground fighting ring?
There were cars parked all around in a circle, and two guys were going at it in the middle. People cheered loudly as they punched and kicked each other.
“Come on.” Luke urged, pulling Buck closer.
They went up to an open trunk of a car, where Luke greeted some girl and sat down, getting Buck to do the same.
This was definitely not his thing.
He wasn’t even looking at the guys in the ring until Luke started cheering on one of the guys loudly.
“I’ve got forty on this guy.” Luke whispered to Buck.
He looked up to see…
Eddie?
What the fuck?
Before he could process, the fight ended as Eddie knocked the other guy, the one Luke had forty dollars on, and looked up at the crowd. And locked eyes with Buck.
It was piercing, his stare. By the look of it, Eddie was just as surprised to see Buck as Buck was to see Eddie.
“I’ve got to go.” Buck whispered, still staring into Eddie’s eyes.
“What?” Luke yelled over the cheering.
“I have to go!” He yelled back, finally breaking eye contact to turn to his date.
“What? Why?”
“I- I know that guy.” Buck answered, his eyes pleading.
Luke seemed to understand.
“Okay, okay, I’ll drive you home.”
He got up and pulled Buck away from the crowd, heading back to the car. But not before Buck was wrenched backwards by a hand on his shoulder.
“What the fuck, Buck?” Eddie yelled, his eyes wilder than Buck had ever seen them.
“Hey! Leave him alone!”
Luke, oh ignorant Luke. He had no idea that Eddie had every right to be yelling at Buck right now.
“Luke, Luke, it’s fine.” He tugged at Luke’s arm, just wanting to get back to the car.
“And who the fuck are you?” Eddie laughed cruelly.
“His date.” Luke stepped forward.
Eddie wasn’t laughing this time.
“His what? Buck?” He looked past Luke to stare at Buck, who was studying the pavement like it was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen.
“Luke, let’s just go.”
“No, no, I want this asshole to know. He’s not yours anymore, he’s mine now.”
Buck cringed hard.
Luke appeared to have badly misread this situation.
“Uh, wait, no-“
“He’s yours?” Eddie laughed again, meaner this time. “He’s raising my kid, jackass.”
And then he punched him.
Hard.
So hard that Luke fell backwards and hit the concrete.
“Woah!” Somebody shouted from behind Eddie. “He totally just knocked that guy out!”
“We gotta go.” Buck said, already backpedaling.
“Right behind you.” Eddie replied, and they ran off towards Eddie’s car together.
Once they reached it, panting and sweaty, they climbed inside, Buck taking the passenger seat like muscle memory.
They drove in complete silence until Eddie reached his house and turned the engine off.
“So.” Buck started.
“So.” Eddie responded, staring at his bloody knuckles.
“What the hell was that?”
Eddie exhaled, turning towards him.
“I don’t know Buck, you tell me.”
“I swear I didn’t know you’d be there. We were just going on a date before-“ He stopped himself.
“Before?” Eddie prompted, his eyebrows furrowing.
“Uh, nothing. You wanna tell me why you’re fighting in underground boxing rings now?”
Eddie turned back to the steering wheel.
“It’s… it’s been a rough couple weeks. The fighting, it helps me not do stupid things.”
“What stupid things?”
“Punching my friend’s boyfriends, for example.”
Buck laughed.
“He’s, he’s not my boyfriend. I met him yesterday.”
“Oh.”
They sat in silence for a bit.
“I feel bad,” Buck began.
Eddie involuntarily perked up at that.
“He totally thought you were my ex.”
Eddie laughed at that, a real one this time.
“I don’t know, he was saying some pretty weird stuff.”
“Yeah, you sleep with a guy once and all of a sudden.” Buck sighed.
Eddie whipped around.
“You what?”
“Uh.”
“Buck.” Eddie groaned. “Why would you- I mean, you’re so stupid.”
“Stupid?” Buck asked, hurt.
“Yeah, you’re stupid. You do stuff without thinking. You jump into bed with weird guys, you follow them to fighting rings, you sue your friends-“
“Well what about you, huh?” Buck interrupted. “You have a kid at home, Eddie! What the fuck are you doing beating up people in underground boxing rings? And why did you punch Luke anyways?”
“I- I don’t know. I just didn’t like what he was saying about you.”
“And why does it matter if I slept with him? Why do you care?”
“I don’t.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Just don’t sleep with random people, Buck.”
“Then don’t beat up random people, Eddie.”
They glared at each other for a minute.
Buck sighed.
“What do you want me to say Eddie? That I’ll never sleep with anyone again?”
“Yes!”
They both frowned.
“Uh, that’s not what I meant.” Eddie said. “I meant, I want you to be more careful and get to know a person before jumping into bed with them.”
“Okay, so someone I’ve known for a while?”
“Yeah. And someone that your friends know and trust.”
“Okay…”
“And someone who’s nice to you and nice to other people. And is funny. And is-“
“So like you?”
That stops Eddie’s rant right in it’s tracks. He just stares at Buck for a minute, mouth gaping.
“Yeah,” He says, breathless. “Like me.”
And then he kisses him.
It’s not a slow kiss, there are no fireworks going off in the background or lovesick music playing. It’s desperate, needy, exactly like both of them have been for the past week.
Hell, maybe even since they first met.
Eddie’s fingers find their way into Buck’s curls and tug him even closer. Closer than should be physically possible because the only thing running through his head is more, more, more.
After what feels like an eternity and yet still not long enough, they break apart, both gasping for air.
“That was…” Buck begins, panting and staring at Eddie bug-eyed.
“Yeah,” Eddie agrees and goes back in for a second kiss.
Buck pulls away, much to Eddie’s disappointment.
“Wait, wait, don’t you think we should talk about this first?”
“What is there to talk about? I kissed you and I liked it and I’d like very much to do it again now, please.”
Buck starts laughing and Eddie can’t stop himself from just staring in awe. His cheeks are flushed a lovely pink color, the way they do when he’s drunk, and his lips are all kiss-swollen and red, and God he is the most beautiful thing Eddie’s ever seen. And soon he’s laughing too and they’ve just kissed and now they’re laughing outside Eddie’s house and all he wants to do is kiss Buck again for the rest of their lives.
“Do you want to come inside?” He musters up the courage to ask in between laughs.
“”Yeah,” Buck smiles, that beautiful, beautiful smile. “I’d love to.”