Chapter Text
Step 1: Figure out that your best friend is secretly gay.
Hayden Pike knows that his best friend is weird about girls. Shane doesn’t engage in locker room conversations about dating and he never brags about getting laid, even when their teammates try to pry it out of him. One time he came into the locker room with mouth-shaped bruises peppered across his torso and thighs and red scratch marks etched on his back. Despite it being ridiculously obvious where the marks were from, Shane refused to admit that he had hooked up with anyone.
“Damn, Hollander!” Their goaltender Patrice Drapeau hollers, looking Shane up and down. “Did you have sex with a fucking bear?”
“What? No! What are you talking about?” Shane splutters. His entire face is bright red, the blush spreading across his chest.
“You are covered in hickeys and scratches, dude,” J.J. informs him. The entire team turns to look.
“No, I’m not!” Shane denies, tugging on his shirt faster, his entire face blushing to the tips of his ears. “I probably just fell or…something,” he trails off at the end, probably realizing how stupid the excuse sounds.
“You fell,” Hadyen repeats incredulously, raising an eyebrow. “Into whose vagina?”
“Fuck off. I’m making all of you do sprints,” Shane grumbles.
So Shane does fuck, even if he doesn’t talk about it or bring girls around. He doesn’t flirt at bars or clubs, even when J.J. tries to introduce him to the friends of whatever girl he’s talking to. Hayden’s never seen him go home with anyone, and he’d know if Shane did since they share a room on most of their away games. He finds the whole thing a little strange, but after a while, he just figures that Shane’s just not a hook-up kind of guy, that he needs an emotional connection.
But then, Shane brushes off every one of Jackie’s many attempts to find him a girlfriend. The one time she did manage to rope him into a double date with her extremely hot pilates instructor, he acted stilted and uncomfortable the entire time. He was polite, but clearly disinterested. Hayden just can’t understand it. She seemed perfect for him: kind, sort of shy, obsessed with hockey. If Shane wouldn’t even give her a chance, who would he date?
Things start to click into place when he sits next to Shane on a bus ride to Ottawa and witnesses him texting someone for the entire two hour drive, smiling as his thumbs fly over the keyboard. Hayden only manages to see the name “Lily” before Shane notices Hayden peeking and immediately tilts his screen away.
“What are you looking at?” Shane asks, fixing him with a glare.
“Nothing,” Hayden has to stifle a laugh at Shane’s immediate defensiveness. “Who are you texting?”
“My mom,” Shane says.
“Oh, that was your mom? Tell her I say hello,” Hayden says with a shit-eating grin.
Shane picks up on none of his sarcasm and just replies, “Yeah, ok.”
So Shane has a secret girlfriend. That’s why he always turns down attempts to set him up, why he doesn’t seem interested in any girls ever. He must really be in love with this girl. The only part Hayden can’t make sense of is why Shane wouldn’t tell him about it.
It’s been two years since Hayden first noticed “Lily” now. Hayden continues to catch Shane grinning like an idiot whenever a text from her pops up, yet he still hasn’t mentioned it! And when Hayden asks outright if he’s seeing anybody, he denies it. Hayden doesn’t understand his secrecy. Shane was the first person outside his family to Arthur when he was born, he comes over for dinner at least twice a month, and they’ve been friends for years. Why won’t Shane just tell him what’s going on in his life?
Hayden finally brings it up at an away game in Boston, when Shane’s being completely unsubtle about leaving to go meet up with Lily.
“I’m heading out for a bit,” Shane says.
“Cool,” Hayden continues to unpack his suitcase.
“Uh, to meet a friend,” Shane continues, like he’s expecting him to ask questions.
“Nice.”
“I’ll be back later.”
“I won’t wait up,” Hayden promises.
“It’s not like that,” Shane explains, quick to defend an accusation that Hayden hasn't even made yet. “It’s just a friend.”
“So, Lily’s just a buddy?” Hayden asks, relishing the shocked look on Shane’s face.
“What?” Shane asks breathily, his eyes wide and a little terrified.
“Chill out man, I know you text some girl named Lily.”
“I don’t!” Shane insists. The continuing denial is weird, but Hayden can’t say it’s unexpected.
“Ok, go get laid, weirdo. Or don’t, I don’t care.” Hayden tells him, trying to play it cool. Getting Shane to open up is harder than getting Arthur to eat his dinner without throwing it on the floor (ie: virtually impossible.)
Shane returns a couple hours later in a pisspoor mood, looking like someone kicked his puppy. He’s wearing a pair black sweatpants that he wasn’t wearing when he left, and they’ve been rolled up at the ankle a few times.
“Are you alright?” Hayden asks.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Shane replies shortly, clearly upset. His eyes are red and watery.
“Did something happen with Lily?”
“No, there is no Lily—” Shane cuts himself off abruptly, letting out a deep breath. “Whatever. I’m going to shower,” he mutters, walking into the bathroom and shutting the door with a bit more force than necessary.
Shane seems to get over whatever happened with the mysterious Lily pretty quickly, because a couple months later he goes and pulls Rose goddamn Landry and Hayden thinks finally, finally someone is worthy of Shane’s impossible standards. But he acts a bit miserable for the two seconds their relationship lasts, seeming even a bit relieved when it ends. Whenever anyone asks why they broke it off, he just says something vague like “We’re better off as friends.”
“I don’t understand why he won’t tell me about Lily. Or tell me the real reason that he and Landry broke it off,” Hayden complains to Jackie one night, laying in her lap as she absentmindedly scratches his head. “I mean, we’re best friends! And I tell him everything!”
“Ok, hear me out,” Jackie says. “Maybe Shane isn’t into girls?”
“What?” Hayden lets out a shocked laugh and sits up completely to face his wife, who looks completely serious. “Shane’s not gay. What about Rose and Lily?”
“Exactly!” Jackie nods, eyes lighting up. Hayden can almost see her train of thought picking up speed. “What about Rose? She’s gorgeous, funny, nice and she really seemed to like Shane. So why would they break up after only a few weeks of dating?”
“Shane said they weren’t compatible,” Hayden defends.
“Not compatible,” Jackie repeats incredulously, like she’s struck gold. “He used the words ‘not compatible?”
“Yeah, so?”
“You know who’s not compatible? Gay men and straight women!”
“Well, what about Lily?”
“You mean, the Lily that he never lets you meet and that you’ve never seen any pictures of, despite the fact that they’ve been talking for years?”
“What are you saying?” Hayden asks, his brain on overdrive.
“Hayd, he’s Shane Hollander. If he got caught sexting someone named David or Steve, it would make international headlines. Do you think Lily could actually be a guy and that’s why he never told you about her? Why he gets weird and denies it whenever you bring it up?”
And suddenly, everything clicks into place. Hayden replays years of memories in an instant—Shane’s obvious discomfort when girls flirt with him, his secrecy about dating, “There is no Lily–”
“Oh my god,” he realizes with startling clarity, “Shane’s gay.”
He feels a wave of hurt that Shane never told him, but that feeling is quickly replaced by ice cold guilt. How many years has Shane been dealing with this by himself, unable to be honest with his closest family and friends? He can’t imagine how lonely that must feel.
He wants to shower Shane with love and support, to let him know that he will always love him no matter what gender he’s into. He wants to buy a Love is Love bumper sticker, to make Shane feel safe to fully be himself around Hayden and Jackie. But, Shane hasn’t actually told him he’s gay yet, which makes these grand plans of Hayden’s somewhat moot.
And Hayden can’t just ask Shane if he’s gay, Shane would totally freak out. But maybe, if Hayden plays his cards right, he can get Shane to tell Hayden himself. This is where steps 2-5 come in.