Chapter Text
Another party where Glenn Coco thought he was one of them!
How fugly as a Louis Vuitton knockoff!
Regina thought the Coco home looked like her grandmother's thirfted in the 70s time capsule!
However, she had given a slight smirk, hoisting an ugly vase and had called it charming, because no one in there right mind turns down free booze!
She crowded in Glenn's bathroom bathroom mirror for a picture with Him, Gretchen, and Karen. Hoping the bitch would post the one with her better side on Myspace, so she could pretend something about this night was memorable for a standard Midwest party.
Like how fucking cute, his mom must have sold Tupperware because there was a shit ton of it everywhere.
From the Buffalo chicken dip, to the popcorn, to the puppy chow she swore had crack in it, how else could she had ate three solo cups filled? To hell even the deviled eggs were laying on a nice Tupperware egg shaped holder.
She and Aaron were obviously the hottest couple there!
Aaron Samuels, was a triple threat in terms of popularity!
He was North Shore's Quarterback, actually had something higher than a C in Algebra 2, and dressed like a Hollister model!
Naturally as skankholes did, they all flocked to Aaron the moment her back was turned.
Regina couldn't full blame him, having seen what beneath those layered polos, but that didn't mean that he or them got to wiggle away from her wrath so easily!
If Aaron wanted someone new to bump uglies with for the night then so could she!
Approaching a guy from South Shore, she was sure his name was Matt or Mark, Regina offered him a drink, and tried to engage in conversation with him.
Gods teen boys were dull as Granny panties!
He almost sounded like a horny dog the way he kept mentioning cheerleaders and balls every other word.
A jockstrap and a gentleman when it got him somewhere, how delightful!
Her eyes wanted to roll, but she kept those Better Than Sex Mascaraed eyes fixed on him.
Hinting that they should trade numbers and meet up for an after-party of their own.
Forcing her Nokia impatiently into his hands as he begins rambling about some girl she presumed must be his desperate attempt of having a girlfriend.
She blew him a satisfied kiss as he handed her back the phone.
"Lose the beanie before then, hmm?!" With that Regina went back to the refreshments table.
Figuring if she was going to make poor choices tonight that she at least needed to be a little drunk before her brain could kick back into gear.
Noticing slowly and surely that Aaron Samuels had left the building, leaving her at Glenn's Coco undisclosed Tupperware party.
Heading on up the staircase, she glares at the girl daring to enter the only sourced bathroom until she is allowed the privilege of entering first.
Taking her manicured fingers through her platinum blonde extensions, she tries to imagine how Aaron Samuels can leave her in a pink star bejeweled bikini cut top, her low rise jeans with the corset tied sides that her mom said looked like a cheap wannabe saloon girl's, and the baby cropped white fur coat she had spent her birthday money on.
She was basically fucking a younger and prettier Paris Hilton, and yet he was chasing some racoon to go roll on the trash of his Camaro.
How fucking dare he?!
Leaning back against the bathroom counter, she could feel the music pulsing through the walls, but even more as she unwedged her heels from her feet.
She guessed it was time to text her sloppy prop piece in getting her way back into Aaron's arms.
"I'm upstairs! Are you still coming or do you need help with that? ;-)"
She expects nothing from Matt or Mark--whatever his name is! Just the dullness East Easton usually provided her with, but instead her phone buzzed immediately.
"Do you start all your conversations this way?! Or is your Mom proud of you?!"
"Do you want to fuck or not?! It's not a hard question!"
"Probably less hard than whoever you're trying to reach?!"
She frowns, then smiles begrudgingly. Realizing she must have been given the wrong number.
"Who is this?!"
"Rodrick the rad. and I’m guessing I’m not the guy you were trying to impress!"
"Middle name Captain fucking obvious!"
"Most girls just call me dumb ass ;) but you can call me the best thing to happen to you!"
"You wish!"
"So whatcha up to? Who should I be pretending to be?!"
"An ass who stood up the literal prettiest girl in the state at a party!"
"A party?! You didn't tell me we are on a date! Shit, I guess I should brush my teeth."
"You should I can smell them over our messages! So I'm at this lame ass party I don't even want to be at. Surrounded by fellow asses who think being loud is synonymous with being interesting!"
"Are you in Plainview, Illinois?"
"Do I sound like someone who would be from a place with Plain literally stamped into its name!?"
"Well Bitcherton isnt a place, Princess!"
"Is that where you're from?!"
"Right now? No! I'm in my car eating gas station chips, reevaluating if I should be sharing my personal information with a person I never met!"
"I'd rather be at a gas station."
"You're welcome to trade places?!"
"You wanna be in East Easton?!"
"That's where you're from? Shit. That's like three hours from me."
"No worries I'll stay clear. Especially knowing that you're not who I was looking for. Enjoy your boring ass life Rodrick."
"Wait!"
"What?!"
"I'm not the loser you're looking for, but you can still text me if you want?!"
"Fine."
"So why are you trying to text some loser?
"I was trying to make someone jealous! Instead I found your stupid ass."
"A dangerous mistake. But I think you can handle the consequences."
"I think so."
"Sadly I have to go. I have to drive home before the police notice I'm out past curfew but I'll ttyl?!"
"Ttyl Rodrick."
She closes her phone, and finds for the first time tonight, she feels like she had a real conversation that mattered.