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The soft rain made the city lights refract on the drops that accumulated in the car windows, making the setting feel warm and cozy.
Angel quietly admired it, finding the city beautiful. He sometimes wondered why he, a country mouse, found the city life so entrancing when he knew about the dangers that it brought.
It was undeniable that being in the city drained him. He didn’t ever feel at peace since he started wearing the boring uniform from public safety, and the crowded places made him feel suffocated.
But for now, inside the car, he was feeling okay.
“Angel,”
The devil didn’t hear him. He was tired from patrolling and the blurry lights were starting to lull him to sleep.
“Angel,” louder this time.
He turned his head to look at the rearview mirror, where a disinterested gaze was already looking at him.
“Move your wings out of the way. I can’t see the cars behind me.” Hayakawa said with an unnecessarily stern tone.
Angel remained still for a moment, having just then noticed that his wings were in fact taking the majority of space in the backseat. He gazed at them absently, seeing how they were stiff from the lack of use and from the cramped space. After a minute of consideration, he reluctantly did as told, moving slower than he should just because he wanted to piss off his partner. He didn’t exactly appreciate having someone that seemed to have a stick so deep up his ass snapping orders at him.
“I don’t have enough space back here,” Angel complained, “this car is too narrow.”
“It’s got the same size as any other car. You can fly if you find it so uncomfortable.”
Angel grimaced when he felt his wings protest at the change of positions, feeling a pang of pain burst from his back. “I can’t do that. My wings are not big enough to carry me around for too long, and it tires me a lot.” He explained, trying to find a comfortable position that would allow him to go back to his previous peaceful state and forget about the black-haired asshole driving.
“What doesn’t tire you?” His superior said while forcing out a deep breath.
Angel glared at the back of his head, cursing him in his head.
He spent the rest of the ride thinking about how much nicer the country mouse was.
~
“We're here.” Aki announced.
Angel waited until the car was fully parked and unmoving to open his eyes.
Dirty buildings with worn-out paint, and streets full of holes was what welcomed him. Some distant radio playing music in an apartment served to make the place feel less creepy, but the lack of movement certainly felt unnatural.
They’ve been assigned to eliminate a small devil that was causing too much trouble in a poor neighbourhood. It was the last assignment of the day.
“I want you to take care of it this time,” Aki said, moving to open Angel’s door since it looked like he wouldn’t open it himself.
Angel sighed deeply, not wanting to but having to follow orders. He knew he was on a tight leash with public safety, and causing Hayakawa problems meant that he could be killed or imprisoned.
None of those options seemed appealing to him for now.
“Just say you’re a lazy bastard,” Angel said while slowly getting out of the car. His hunched back and low tonality exposed his sluggishness, but either way, he managed to start walking over to the dirty alleyways, starting his hopefully not too long search for the devil.
“Look who’s talking,” the taller one shot back.
Angel ignored him and continued walking, not really knowing where to look.
Daylight was already fully gone, and his only source of light were some damaged lampposts that served more in flickered than actually shining. He glared at the lamppost, thinking that if he glared hard enough, the thing would fix on its own.
It didn’t.
“Piece of shit.” He muttered between his teeth and continued on his way.
On a brighter side and to his surprise, there were no people around. The feeling of their eyes staring him down always sent cold shivers all the way up to his wings. Angel could never take the liberty of letting his guard down anywhere, fearing that someone would accidentally touch him. Even a simple graze could be fatal.
Because of that, he hated people.
Or at least, that's what he always told himself.
He was a devil, and his nature dictated to feel hatred towards humans. He was born out of their fear, and it was natural for him to reflect what they created.
But he was also an angel, a representation of a celestial being; something that was naturally kind and compassionate.
He wasn’t only one, he was two forces at once, and his nature didn’t follow the order of neither of what he was. Devil and Angel, clashing restlessly, leaving him strayed in how or what he was supposed to feel. Despite that, his confusion wasn’t perdurable when he remembered the nature of his condition; it served as a reminder that he was more of a Devil than an Angel.
Taking life by simply touching was something that no Angel ever caused. He couldn’t be the benevolent being that his name so maliciously deceived about.
The only thing he could attribute his ‘angelic’ values with, was the understanding of what his power can do – the harm it can do. Any other devil would take advantage of it to cause terror, but not him. Angel could be apathetic and cold-hearted, but he wasn’t a wicked devil. He didn’t enjoy making others suffer, but he wouldn’t go so far to say that he would do something to stop someone’s suffering.
An angel with only one and small virtue is not an everyday sight, but a devil with many flaws is nothing uncommon.
Maybe he was growing malicious (blame the city for it) but it was undeniable that his selfishness was expanding with each passing day. His stomach knotted each time he remembered it, feeling anxious that at some point he could no longer hide this new part of himself. It wasn’t like he wanted to be like that, but he couldn’t control it, and what worried him the most was when someone would finally notice it.
It will be disastrous, no doubt. After all, he would be breaking his most sacred rule.
Touching is forbidden for him. Not only for the well-being of those that surround him, but also for his own safety. He fears that he would grow a fascination for it, not because of the weapons, but for the feeling of someone else on his body.
It wasn’t his fault though, he was left hanging and wanting when he had been so close. A handkerchief wasn’t that big of a barrier, and the burning sensation of being so close lasted longer than the actual burn of the two bullets that grazed his wing.
He wanted to reach out and touch whatever he could get his hands onto, he wanted to forget everything and just do what he wished with abandon, live like the fallen angel that he was supposed to be.
… More Devil than Angel at the end.
A cold burst of wind struck him and forced him to get out of his head. He had been getting lost in his own thoughts far too frequent in the last few days, which annoyed him.
Angel stopped to look at his surroundings, realizing that he had lost time walking around aimlessly and making himself tired for nothing. He hadn’t been paying attention to what he was doing and he even had forgotten that he was supposed to be looking for a devil.
Angel groaned and rested his back against a wall, wondering what was wrong with him. It seemed like his life now consisted of being physically and mentally drained, and he didn’t understand what he had done to deserve such fate. He couldn’t remember his own past, so it was all very confusing when his mind only came up with questions but never suggested an answer.
Angel’s hands came to rest at his eyes, trying to rub away his exhaustion. He didn’t know how long he stayed leaning against that wall, but it was enough to get back a little bit of energy. Feeling the cold wind again reminded him that he had to focus on the task at hand, forcing him to open his eyes.
The night sky seemed a bit restless, reason being a couple of grey clouds that were quickly hiding the few visible stars. It appeared that it was going to rain again, so Angel needed to hurry.
Yet, amidst his best efforts, Angel’s search turned up unsuccessful.
Ah, fuck it.
“What the hell are you doing back here?” Aki asked, blowing out some smoke.
The cigarette smell used to displease the devil, but now it was part of his routine. “It isn’t there.” He didn’t care to elaborate.
Aki grimaced and was about to argue with him, but he stopped himself.
Something that Angel admired of his superior but would never admit was his patience. He watched how Aki took a mouthful of smoke and slowly exhaled it, letting the nicotine run through his system before he did anything else – it seemed to help him calm down.
“So it grew wings and flew away?” Aki said after letting his vice roam him.
“Seems like it.” He responded with a lazy roll of his shoulders.
Another long inhale; then more smoke flowing out of Aki’s mouth.
“Well, at least one devil can make use of the ability to fly.”
Any other devil would take offence at the sarcasm, but Angel could be just as bitter as him. Besides, he was killing time.
“Hmm, at least it can. Surely it realized that poor people simply don’t taste that good.”
Watching a small furrow form on Hayakawa’s eyebrow meant that his patience had run out. It might cause him trouble, but Angel preferred when Aki expressed what he was feeling.
“Alright. Cut the bullshit and get back to work. You're the one keeping us here because you refuse to cooperate.” The taller man said, flicking the cigarette end away with skilled fingers. “Stop wasting time and get it once and for all.”
“I’m not the one leaving all the work to my partner.” Angel refuted, lightly glaring at him.
“Oh, but you weren’t thinking that when you left me alone on our last missions,” Aki said, leaning forward to reach Angel’s eye level.
Angel couldn’t deny that, but he wasn’t ashamed either. He just stared indifferently into blue eyes, waiting for something to happen.
Hayakawa on the other hand, wondered how the devil could be so disregarded by his own actions. The way his amber red eyes didn’t so much as blink or show any emotion besides boredom irked him.
“Last chance, Angel. Don’t make me report you.”
Angel knew that he was serious, but truthfully, the threat didn't stir anything in him. Dying didn’t scare him, going back to hell didn’t bother him, and having to never work again sounded fantastic. Yet, for some strange reason, he thought that dying in a public safety bunker wasn’t really where he was meant to die.
The man in front of him intrigued him, often reminding him of nameless shadows that visited him nightly during his sleep.
A minute of silence went by, then Angel sighed. “I’ll go only because I’m nice. Next time don’t bother with the heads-up and just report me directly with the office. I've told you already that I don’t give a shit if I die.” After making his point across, Angel turned and headed again for the alleyways.
Aki raised a brow but didn’t say anything. He watched the devil get further into the neighbourhood and wondered what could be the reason for the sudden change of heart.
The sound of chewing alerted Angel that something was nearby. He let the sound guide him until he spotted the devil from a few meters apart. It wasn’t very big and definitely weak, a bed bug devil.
It was chewing on what seemed to be the remains of a house cat.
Strangely enough and to his surprise, Angel didn’t feel his appetite rise up. – He could eat whatever, both devils and humans, so it was weird that he didn’t feel hungry.
The time spent with humans and the taste of ice-cream had definitely changed him. The thought of a devil that became used to human customs and started applying them bugged him. Thus, the realization that he was fitting those manners didn’t exactly make him joyous. He shook his head and decided to focus on the task at hand.
One quick scan later and Angel understood that he could dispose of it easily with a simple weapon.
Taking advantage that he hadn’t been seen, he quietly flew to a roof and requested ten months. His halo shone and granted him the weapon.
He got in position, aimed and shot. The devil shrieked, bled out and died soon after.
Well, at least it’s over.
Angel wondered how many cigarettes his superior smoked a day. He hadn’t even reached him but the smell confirmed that he was going through another one.
The human was leaning on the car with the cigarette between his lips, and instead of looking like if a fly sat on his food, he was looking rather calm.
By the time Angel finally reached him, he noticed how Aki’s eyes seemed to be scrutinizing all of him; from the bow that he was holding to the tips of his wings. Such reaction made Angel feel wildered, forcing his brain to start operating again.
“What?” Angel inquired. He curiously tilted his head a little to the side while observing the expression that Aki had on his face – a look that he hadn’t seen before.
His voice seemed to get Aki out of his trance; he blinked twice and straightened his back, “What’s your report?” Aki asked instead.
Angel squinted his eyes while directly looking into Aki’s blue ones, which were filled with something rare. He could sense there was something different about Aki, something that he couldn’t put his finger into – and it was making him crazy.
Angel looked at him intriguingly, but Aki played cool and took another drag of smoke.
Finally grasping that he wasn’t going to get a different reaction, Angel exhaled and drifted his gaze. “Devil eliminated,” he finally said.
“See? That wasn’t so hard.” Aki said serenely, successfully hiding a satisfied smile when he took the last drag of his cig.
Angel hummed in response. “Whatever. Now let’s get out of here, this place stinks,” he made sure to say the last part while glancing at the burning butt.
Given that their last assignment was completed, nothing was holding them back from staying in that place. Both of them were tired, and it was time to head home. Aki went to open the door for Angel, but before he could enter, he stopped him.
“What?” Angel questioned, a little irritated. He wanted to go home and rest.
“Hand me that. I’m gonna put it in the bunk,” he said referring to the bow.
Angel had forgotten he was holding it in the first place. All the weapons he made ended up in someone else's hands.
“…right,” he voiced lightly and passed the item to his superior. The way Aki held it made him remember the sword that he carried, a sword that he had made. Now he wondered if Aki wanted to keep the new weapon and if that was the reason for his strange behaviour. “Do you want it for yourself?”
The sound of the bunk closing made him turn to lock his gaze to Aki’s. It seemed that the question caught him off guard.
He looked at Angel before shaking his head no, then he reached to open the driver seat’s door. “Not really. Why do you ask?”
“Because you’ve been eyeing it strangely.” Angel finally pointed out while his face sulked in discontent.
“I haven’t. Get in the car.”
Angel grunted but complied. “Then what’s with the stupid look on your face?” He finally asked. Maybe not in the best way but he did it.
Aki gave him a confused look through the rearview mirror, at the same time that he was fastening his seatbelt. “What are you talking about?”
Angel was starting to think that Aki was purposely getting on his nerves. Doing other things while talking to him looked as if he was trying to dodge the conversation.
The fact that Aki, the man that always was straightforward with him, was evading his question or at least pretended to not understand it annoyed the hell out of Angel. “Tsk, the one you have right now.”
“My face’s the same as always.” Another vague response.
“No it’s not,” Angel argued. “I would prefer it if you spoke what’s on your mind. I have enough with Makima’s cryptic personality.”
“She’s like that because she’s got the most to do, and that includes watching over devils. Of course she’s going to be cryptic.” Aki explained, which was quite unnecessary. Angel knew that already.
“You’re irritating me. I don’t wanna talk about Makima or hear you praise her relentlessly, I just want you to drop the mysterious attitude. It’s really tiring to work with you if you keep up like that, so just spit out what you’re thinking already.” Angel huffed, genuinely upset. He didn’t know why he was so angry, but he knew that he had been caging up emotions for some time now. When and where they decided to burst was something out of his control.
Angel hadn’t considered that maybe he wasn’t the best person to be making claims, following that he was difficult to deal with and wasn’t very useful as a partner. It’s true that he hadn’t really put any kind of effort when they first met, but who could blame him? He was being forced to work when he hadn’t caused trouble for anyone. – Now he was trying to keep the peace between them, but Aki’s behavior was starting to drive him up the wall.
On the other hand, Aki was a bit taken aback by Angel’s outburst. Why would the devil ask him to be more open when he wasn’t very different from a closed book?
“Now, would you look at that? You’re capable of expressing something else besides boredom,” Aki said calmly, uninterested in Angel’s tantrum. “But hear this, devil. I’m not obliged to share my thoughts and opinions with a being that can’t so much as function without being threatened first.” He turned his body to look at Angel, hooking his arm in the passenger seat. His voice had also turned more stern, making him sound more intense. “And be careful with the way you speak to me. I am your superior.” He added the last part in an attempt to remind Angel of his place in the hierarchy within Public Safety, where disrespect towards any devil hunter could grant him serious consequences. Although Aki doubted it would do anything, knowing that Angel was far too different from what he was accustomed to work with. He wasn’t like any other devil and applying the tactics he knew almost never worked.
One last fiery look later; Aki turned around and put the car in motion.
~
The ride to headquarters was uncomfortably silent. Neither of them spoke after that and didn’t even try to make an effort to talk about anything else. The air was filled with tension.
Aki drove while Angel leaned against the window, not looking anywhere in particular. This time, however, he didn’t need to be told to be mindful of his wings. He kept them folded and laid over the backseat, occupying all the space that he could muster in exchange of keeping the visibility clear for the driver. Aki didn’t know if he did that on purpose or if he was simply too tired to move them around, but he appreciated the gesture nonetheless.
Also, he couldn’t contain himself from looking at Angel through the rearview mirror, noticing something akin to a sad expression. His hair fell messily all over his face, and the light of his halo revealed a pair of tired amber eyes that no longer held the interest they showed a little while ago. He felt a pang of guilt jam inside his chest from that.
Truth is, Aki didn’t want to be on bad terms with his partner – even after all the discussions and differences that they shared, he still cared about the feelings of his buddy. It was indisputable that their circumstances weren’t the most favorable to build a good relationship, but he was still willing to try.
As a result of that, it hadn’t been his intention to make Angel feel bad. The last thing he wanted was for Angel to be mad at him, and he didn’t mean to initiate an argument.
Aki thought he was pretty good at concealing his expressions, but Angel had picked it up.
He could be held at gunpoint, tortured and mistreated but Aki would rather endure every atrocity than ever admitting it out loud. He wanted to deny it and bury it so deep within his conscience to never think about it again, attempting to fool his own mind into believing that it didn’t happen. Maybe it was the future messing with him, or maybe it was his honesty simply doing its duty, but no matter how much he tried, the truth kept resurfacing.
The moment Angel came back holding the bow, with semi-spread wings and the warm light of his halo, Aki’s heart tightened in astonishment. Any photographer would’ve killed for a chance to picture him then, any artist would’ve given their life to be able to paint him right there, and any musician would’ve written a thousand melodies by simply looking at him. It was ridiculous, pathetic even, but he really thought that in that moment, Angel truly looked as if he had fallen from the heavens.
It was cruel – inhuman actually, for something so beautiful to be so misleading. Angel created weapons from stolen lifespans, something that should never be seen as something close to beautiful, yet here he was, admiring the creature that killed many of his kind, falling directly into the devil’s trap.
The shame was eating him away, so in an attempt to make himself feel better, Aki tried to look for a logical answer. The only one he could come up with was that bows were a weapon closely related to angels, and that the reason he may have reacted the way he did was simply because it felt like if he was seeing a real angel.
He wanted to scoff at himself, knowing that it was a ridiculous excuse. He was so impressed by his own stupidity to the point that he wanted to laugh. Aki didn’t even want to imagine what he would do if he were to see Angel with a harp.
He could hear the obnoxious giggles coming from the Future as well, making him feel like some kind of jester.
It angered him, having fallen so low to the point of being fooled by a devil.
Angel may be physically stunning, but he was still a devil. The problem is that Aki no longer seemed to care about that.
~
When they reached Public Safety, they still hadn’t said a word to each other.
Aki was still in the process of clearing his mind when the sound of the car door opening interrupted him. Apparently, Angel was so eager to get away from him that he opted to open the door by himself, instead of waiting for Aki to do it for him. Aki still wondered why he kept doing it.
It had become a habit without intending to; doing small things for Angel so that he could be easier to work with, so that Aki could have him in good humor.
The problem is that Aki usually forgot that despite what others thought of him, he was quite a sensitive guy, hence, he was unprepared for the feeling of discomfort when Angel didn’t wait for him. Such reaction definitely concerned him, but at the moment, he had to focus on what was happening. He wanted to make peace with Angel, talk to him and clear the misunderstanding, but time didn’t wait for him, and apparently, neither did Angel.
His mental breakdown had tormented him during the whole ride, and now Aki didn’t have the faintest idea of what to say to him, how to make things right.
“Angel,” Aki hurried to say, getting his attention before he closed the door.
Angel didn’t answer anything, but Aki knew he was listening because the door remained half-open. Waiting.
Seconds passed without another word. His fingers were starting to cramp up from how hard he was gripping the steering wheel, he seriously needed to-
“I’m cold,” Angel suddenly said.
Outside, the wind was blowing with vigor. The tree branches were dancing and the leaves flowing to wherever the current took them. Aki had been so caught up in his head that he hadn’t noticed that the wind had gotten harsher with the fall of the night.
He could feel the cold bursting in from the open door, and he let it engulf him. Aki closed his eyes and breathed deeply, focusing on the feeling of his skin turning cooler. When his eyes opened again, they started searching for Angel.
Angel was standing outside of the car, looking directly at headquarters. He did seem cold, clutching his dress jacket while his wings wrapped protectively around his body, trying to shield himself from the unforgiving wind.
The feathers of his wings were ruffling alongside his hair, and the tip of his nose had a pinkish tone to it. Soon enough, his body started to shiver.
But he still waited for Aki.
Aki's thoughts wandered to the last time his brother was cold, and how he had told him to get gloves. He could never forget how an innocent game of catch had turned into his biggest nightmare.
It wasn’t that he minded the cold, but the reminder it brought was something that he didn’t like to remember.
The reason why he would put an extra cover on Power’s bed, or get warmer clothes for Denji is because he didn’t want them to get cold. That way they wouldn’t have the need to go and get gloves.
He stepped out of the car and walked over to Angel, stopping only when they were face to face.
Words weren’t always necessary to fix things, in fact, they could be useless on certain occasions. Sometimes, all that was needed was an honest look, a kind gesture or a fleeting touch.
Icy blue met tired ambers, locking together for just a couple of seconds. Aki took off his jacket and carefully wrapped it around Angel, adjusting it over his wings, paying attention not to touch him directly.
“Let me treat you some ice cream tomorrow.” Aki said, softly.
He didn’t mention anything of what had happened, deciding that none of it mattered anymore.
Angel nodded without breaking eye contact, “… okay.”
~
Denying that he was caring wouldn’t make it disappear, but he could at least try to convince himself that he was doing it for himself.
The reason he was trying to quit cigarettes was because of his health, not because the smell bothered Angel.
The extra money was just in case he needed it, not to buy Angel’s soft serves.
The decreasing space between them when they walked was simply because he had to keep a close eye on him, to make sure he didn’t accidentally touch someone.
The more frequent stops at restaurants was because he wanted more ideas of what to cook for Power and Denji, not because of Angel’s big appetite.
… They were simple coincidences, none of them were because of Angel.
“You’re bad-influencing me, you know?” Angel said after swallowing a large portion of noodles.
Aki’s order of gyozas had probably been too large, but he was hungry, and even if he couldn’t finish it, he just had to take the leftovers home – Denji and Power would devour them in seconds.
He didn’t order a big portion of gyozas to share with Angel, of course not.
“Why do you say that?” Aki asked after placing one gyoza on Angel’s plate.
“I’m becoming too used to city-mouse food. You’re making me change my mind into becoming a city mouse.” Angel explained while grabbing the meatbun with his chopsticks, happily eating it up.
“What’s so wrong with being a city mouse?”
“I already told you, the city mouse can get killed any day.”
Angel had told him the story one rainy night, and Aki had thought it was very narrow-minded.
No one could ever fully know what life had planned for them, whether they lived in the city or in the countryside. Unfortunate things had the nature to strike unexpectedly, uncaring of the place where people resided.
The story explained that the peace of the countryside was something far more valuable than the good food or exciting experiences that the city offered. – It mentioned the dangers that the city mouse faced, making them seem bigger and far more scary; but it never truly showed the ones from the countryside, forcing the idea that an isolated place was safer.
Perhaps his parents had fallen into that mentality after reading that story so many times to Taiyo.
In any case, the countryside couldn’t offer any security or peace when blasted away.
“I thought you didn’t care if you died.” Aki reminded him.
“I care now, because it would mean that I couldn’t eat any more of this delicious food.”
Aki averted his eyes and tried to suppress a snicker. “The logic behind your thinking is somewhat interesting.”
“Don’t make fun of me.” The redhead said, furrowing his brows just a little. Aki couldn’t help but think it was cute.
“I wouldn’t,” Aki lied. He took a gulp of his drink and continued. “And besides, if someone is being a bad influence that would be you.”
Angel looked up to meet Aki’s eyes, seemingly confused. “Why? I haven’t done anything.”
Aki returned his gaze, locking eyes with him. “No? Look where we are. We should be patrolling, but you always wanna take a break and eat somewhere.”
“I deserve breaks, it’s not my fault I got paired with a workaholic.”
The comment forced a genuine smile out of Aki, but he quickly dropped his head in embarrassment when he got self-conscious of his dimples. Angel had pointed them out once during patrolling, saying they made him look like a totally different person. What Aki didn’t know is that Angel had thought they were cute.
In any case; there used to be someone that also called him a workaholic, a previous partner that was just as lax as Angel.
Some time had passed since he last thought of Himeno, given that the cigarettes were no longer in his routine. She may have been laid-back and troublesome, but she had been a valuable companion.
He missed her occasionally, when he wished to go out for drinks or when he wanted to have adult conversations. They used to stay up late just talking about anything, letting the time pass as if they didn’t have to wake up early in the morning, as if they weren’t devil hunters. She used to beg him to go civilian, to live together and to have higher expectations for life, but Aki had thrown all that away when he made the decision to hunt the gun devil.
He regretted it now, unfortunately. Having made such important choices at such a young age while blinded by a rage and revenge that no longer burned was what brought him to the state he found himself in; all he wanted now was a second chance at life, to live in a way he hadn’t allowed himself to dream about.
Three mugs instead of one on his kitchen cabinets, homework tasks spread all over the table, incessant bickering from his mischievous siblings, and a cat purring on his lap were some of the dreams that he knew would not have the time to grow and flower; they were destined to stay as dreams and end as such.
If he had taken a different route, maybe he could have had what he so desperately longs for. Red hair and heavenly skin waking up next to him would make the perfect morning in some other world, but in this one, he would have to make do with touching only the tips of their shoes under the dinner table.
Aki knew that there was no point in moping around for past decisions, so he simply made it his goal to enjoy what little time he had left. He had made peace with the fact that there was a countdown to his death supervised by none other than the Future devil. Ironic, seeing that he had no future. That’s why Aki didn’t consider attempting to change things either, understanding that it would be futile. Instead, he wanted to do everything in his power to make sure those he cherished could be able to live long, happy lives. That was enough for him.
The sand of his hourglass wasn’t rough when it started to fall on him – actually, it was gentler than Aki expected. Perhaps it reflected how he had changed when life had given him another opportunity to be a brother; how the rushing for revenge wasn’t actually who he was. He let the sand wash over him, letting it fill his side of the glass. It had taken him a while to understand that all he needed to do was to let go of his past regrets to be able to feel free.
Aki hoped that his change of heart and newfound values would make Himeno proud.
~
A couple of weeks passed, and Aki was starting to think that his heart would give up a lot earlier than what Future had estimated.
The time spent together made Aki knowledgeable about the indifference that Angel showed to almost everything. His eyes were always dull towards anybody, his steps were slow and unconcerned about whatever was happening, and his voice never wandered from the same tonality.
But in spite of that, whenever Aki was the subject of Angel’s attention, his gestures changed considerably. And it made Aki go insane.
For example, that time Aki had noticed a flash of affection appear in those amber eyes when they locked with his own; or when Angel started talking to him with more trust, almost in the way he would talk with a friend. At that time Angel didn’t know how much that meant to Aki.
But maybe friend was not the best term to define them, given that there was something more intimate about their relationship.
On sunny days, Angel would ask Aki to take him to the park’s faucet with the excuse that he was thirsty. There, he would only take a small sip.
What he really wanted to see, and the real reason why he specifically asked for the faucet is because the water flowed out of it very messily – so when it was Aki’s turn to drink, he would lewdly stare at the way his throat moved whenever he swallowed. The way the water would slip from the corner of his mouth and make a mess out of his chin was undoubtedly Angel’s favorite thing to watch.
Another thing was that Angel didn’t use his hands when he wanted to get Aki’s attention, he used his wings. At first he would tap him, then it turned into sliding his wing from his neck to his back, and then he started enveloping him and pulling him until he got him where he wanted. Aki never said a thing.
But the thing that had Aki’s heart beating uncontrollably had happened that same afternoon.
Aki had bought a soft serve for Angel just before they wrapped the day, giving it to him just because he wanted to.
Angel savored the ice-cream while Aki looked at the sunset, admiring the pink and orange tones of the clouds. Aki enjoyed watching beautiful things, and because of that, he went back to where Angel was sitting.
“Are you ready to go?” He asked when he reached the bench.
Angel finished his last bites before looking up at him, giving him a lovely smile. “Yeah. Let’s go.” He attempted to get up but Aki stopped him swiftly, “wait,” he said, “you got a bit of cream on your lip.”
Angel was about to lick it up until he noticed Aki reaching for his handkerchief, it seemed that he was going to clean him himself.
Aki placed the piece of cloth over his thumb, covering it from touching Angel directly. Then, he balanced his right leg over the bench and leaned down to reach Angel’s face.
Carefully and slowly, Aki removed the remains of the cream from Angel’s lip, giving it an affectionate long stroke when he finished. “There. Just as new.” Aki murmured, shortening the space between their lips so that the redhead could feel the air coming from his lips.
Now Aki was sitting on the driver’s seat, reflecting about how careless he had been back there. Angel was making him lose his sanity and Aki was afraid he would let him.
The heavy traffic made him stop the car in some avenue, letting him close his eyes and lean his head back after a long, tiring day. Although Aki wasn’t sure if he was tired from killing devils or from trying and failing to not fall for Angel.
The sound of rain made him reopen his eyes, seeing that it had started to pour. Aki lowered the window and took his hand out, feeling the water fall on his palm. He liked when it rained; the sound of the water hitting the ground relaxed him, and the drops running down from the car windows helped him get out of his head.
He closed the window when he started to feel cold, but thankfully by then, his heart and mind had gone back to normality.
Even so, he didn’t expect that his peacefulness would last long, considering that the reason behind his dreams was sleeping soundly in the backseat.
Aki observed him through the rearview mirror, taking in every detail of how he looked at that moment. Both his hands were under his head and his legs were folded towards his core, nuzzling up against his own body. His wings were wrapped on each side of his body, as if they were a blanket. Needless to say, he looked like the most beautiful thing on Earth.
Aki knew that he was losing, and that no matter what he could do, it would never reach something.
But for now, inside the car, he could pretend.
The honking and rain all drowned out when he set his gaze on Angel’s figure, drinking him all in. His hand slowly reached for the reflection of Angel on the tiny mirror, touching softly over the image of his face.
The mirror offered the opportunity to pretend to touch him directly – to caress his skin, his eyelids and his lips as if it were real. Aki moved his finger across all of Angel, and despite wanting much more, he had to get by with whatever he had, even if it wasn’t nearly enough.
Aki wanted to touch him, but he could love him without doing so.