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Something awful is about to happen. The engine of a plane. A crack in the ice. A bike bell. A knock at the door. Something awful is about to happen.
Carlos shuts their front door, turning the deadbolt. He places his duffle bag next to the end table behind the couch.
“Hey babe,” TK sighs from the kitchen.
“Hey, something smells good.”
“I’m trying to make curry from the leftovers for dinner,” TK announces, stirring the pot. They ensured no guests from their rehearsal dinner last night went empty handed; only some chicken and vegetables were left. “Good day?”
“Yeah.” Carlos follows his nose curiously to the kitchen. “Trying?”
He feels strong arms wrapping around his waist and Carlos’ body against his back. He’s squeezed tightly, pulling a humming laugh from his chest and Carlos tucks his chin over his shoulder. He doesn’t take his eyes off the pot but instinctually reaches a hand up to the side of Carlos’ face, petting his carved, clean shaven jaw.
“Does this colour look right to you?”
Carlos pauses thoughtfully and presses a kiss to his cheek.
“It looks good.”
“So you’ve seen a curry this colour before?”
“I never said that.”
TK blows out a defeated breath and stirs with less optimism than before.
Carlos rubs soothing circles into his hip. “But if it tastes half as good as it smells then it’s going to be amazing.”
He smiles against the odds. “Thanks, babe.”
Carlos’ lips graze the column of his neck, he relaxes further into the hold, feeling the testing pressure of teeth.
“Speaking of tasting half as good as it smells,” Carlos says with a dramatic sniff right underneath his ear.
TK laughs, bringing his shoulder up to his neck because it tickles.
“Smooth.”
Carlos chuckles, peppering a few more kisses to his wiggling target. He then seems content to just holding TK as he was, his cheek resting against his neck.
“How was your day?”
He smiles to himself at Carlos not seeming interested in detaching himself any time soon. He’s obviously in a clingy, cuddly mood which TK is fine with because apart from eating this curry, he doesn’t have any other plans for the evening than being his fiancés personal pillow.
“It was good, I hit a PB on my run, cleaned the bathroom and- oh I picked up our suits from the tailor.”
Carlos nibbles on his earlobe. “You’re gonna look so sexy, like a secret agent.”
He giggles and his body wriggles instinctively again. “Dude, what is with you tonight?” Carlos laughs gloriously in his ear at the accusation. “You’re all over me.”
“I love you.”
TK turns down the stove dial to a light simmer and twists around in Carlos’ arms to slide their lips together. He wraps his arms around his shoulders and threads his fingers through curls which really need messing up, he’s pulled in closer as a response. As a counter response, he lifts up on to his tip toes to get his arms wrapped further. Carlos lets out a moan as he keeps their balance.
TK lets one hand deviate from the soft locks down to his soft cheek. He brushes a thumb under Carlos’ eye when he pulls away. “I love you.”
“I think that’s everything, not long to wait.”
TK smooths the hair at the back of his head and raises an eyebrow. “Not getting cold feet?”
Carlos shakes his head, slipping his fingers into the back pockets of TK’s jeans. “They’re toasty.”
“Mine too.”
“Let’s consult the list.”
“Mm lets,” TK says sarcastically, he thought he paused cooking for a make out session not to consult his biggest headache and Carlos’ second biggest love for the past year.
Carlos shuffles them sideways over to the island, not relinquishing his hold until he reaches behind TK to slide a little black book so it’s between them. Carlos flicks to a few pages in with one hand. What once started as a simple way to jot down wedding ideas nearly a year ago, quickly turned into a never-ending to-do list spanning nearly twenty pages.
Carlos gets to the most recent entries, the finishing touches. He holds the book open whilst TK crosses a messy line through ‘pick up suits’ with his non-dominant right hand. There’s still a few things unchecked.
“Give rings to best men,” Carlos reads out.
TK shakes his head. “We’re not doing that until the last possible second, I literally have nightmares about my dad keeping it by his bed and Buttercup eating it in the middle of the night.”
Carlos raises an eyebrow at him, silently communicating, “That’s something you have nightmares about?”
TK’s eyes widen, he stresses, “Oh yeah.”
“Okay, agreed.”
He reads out, “Haircut.”
Carlos nods. “Booked for Thursday.”
“Stock up for Lou 2’s babysitters. Done, the fridge is full of mealworms,” he says confidently.
Carlos shivers and crosses it off the list. “I don’t want to think about that.”
“Put kippah by the front door,” he reads. He points a finger between Carlos’ eyes. “I need to do that, don’t let me forget.”
Carlos smooths a reassuring hand up and down his side, and gives the tip of the threatening finger a kiss.
“I’ll remind you.”
“Decide on names.”
“Oh.”
TK presses his lips together. “I still don’t know.”
“Me neither,”
“That’s okay though, right?”
“Yeah, we can decide later.”
“I mean- I know our dads were making jokes but I really don’t mind what we’re called,” he says.
“Me neither.”
He shrugs. “I wouldn’t mind either way.. but…”
“But?”
“I don’t know. I fell in love with Carlos Reyes. If we changed names… I don’t know, I don’t want to change you. Is that weird?”
“Not at all,” Carlos says with certainty.
“We can think about it later.”
“Right.”
“Rehearsal dinner,” Carlos reads.
TK crosses it out. “Done.”
Carlos looks at the book with disbelief he shares.
“I think that’s it.”
“I didn’t think we’d ever get to the end.”
TK touches the pages to make sure. He flicks to the page before and runs his finger down the list. All checked. Carlos eyes scan the pages with him as he reverses time to a few weeks ago, to a few months ago, designing wedding invitations, where TK discovered Carlos’ flair for graphic design, narrowing down the guest list, choosing a menu...
Interview officiants.
‘Ask Paul ASAP’ has been bolded by going over the letters a few times and underlined.
‘Try on suits’. ‘Cake tasting’. And in Carlos’ handwriting- ‘FIRE YOUR DAD’ and in a different colour pen a few days later ‘AND MY MOM’.
‘Choose rings’, ‘size rings’, ‘get insurance for rings’… ‘win the lottery’.
He snorts at a few passive aggressive notes he scribbled and Carlos shakes his head lovingly. ‘Tell finance you’re already married… To a woman… Get divorced…’
‘Write vows’. They crossed that one off a few weeks ago. TK begged Carlos to give him a tease when he came home one night after a meeting to him sat cross legged on their bed in nothing but his boxer shorts and glasses, writing them in a lined notebook by lamplight. TK used the very best persuasive tactics at his disposal, but Carlos wouldn’t budge.
Eventually, they land on the first page to where it started. Find a venue.
“We did it,” he says, his eyes starting to sting looking at the words.
He remembers writing them a few days after he proposed. He was standing right in this exact spot near enough. He remembers the warm light of the lamp and watching Carlos set out takeout on the coffee table and beckoning him over. "Come on, before I eat yours." He remembers doodling a little heart after the last word before dropping his pen and heading to the couch. "Okay, okay."
He feels Carlos’ gaze on him and a loving hand rubbing his back now. “We did.”
His own gaze falls on the bottom line of the first page. He looks closer. He frowns.
“We never got dance lessons!” he exclaims, raising a palm to his forehead.
Carlos raises a suspicious eyebrow. “We were going to?”
“Yeah, I can’t believe we forgot.”
“We know how to dance babe.”
He lets his head fall forward onto Carlos’ shoulder. “But this is dancing in front of everyone.”
“I’m sure we’ll be okay.”
Carlos hugs him, then starts to bounce a little on the balls of his feet.
“Carlos.” He tries to sound sad and not laugh. “Real dancing, not club dancing.”
He presses his lips together as Carlos takes a few steps back, holding both his hands and pulling them back and forth. He tries to get in TK's sightline with a searching cocky smile.
He turns his head away. “Carlos!”
“Okay, okay. Come here.” Carlos pulls him in to where they were, he puts his hands on TK’s hips and rolls his eyes when TK pretends to sulk, taking his heavy arms and putting them on his shoulders one at a time.
He brings them in close, they sway from one foot to the other.
“How’s this?”
TK looks into earnest eyes. He hopes its always this way, that they’ll always try to make each other happy like this, that Carlos will always ask him to dance.
He scrunches up his nose. “Feels a bit… senior prom.”
Carlos chuckles, instead of fixing it instantly, he holds it for a few more moments.
“I would’ve picked you up in my dad’s mustang and given you a corsage.”
TK snorts, knowing he’s talking about a fantasy that never would have or could have happened. His stomach flutters anyway.
“I would’ve blown you under the bleachers,” he says with all of his heart.
Carlos laughs, face lighting up. He manoeuvres their arms into something more formal.
“Ready? I’m gonna lead.”
TK narrows his eyes as he’s pulled forwards in the world’s most disastrous waltz. “Why do you get to lead?”
Carlos looks like he’s made himself a little inside joke in his head and is having a good laugh about it. He shrugs cockily. “Well, I- Ow!”
“Oh no, sorry baby, your toe,” TK gasps.
“Okay, no more, maybe we just won’t dance at our wedding,” Carlos winces, letting their arms fall.
“No, we can’t give up,” he rallies, determined.
His mind flickers back to the pages he turned through. ‘A wedding playlist’.
He set his phone up to the tiny kitchen speaker and places it back on the counter.
He looks over to Carlos, looking pretty defeated with his hands on his hips.
TK grins at him. “Get over here.”
The song begins gently. They haven’t heard it in a while.
“Let’s just do what feels natural,” he says.
Carlos takes his extended hand and the invitation into his space. They fit together. Temple to temple, cheek to cheek, rocking slowly.
“This is the song that was playing when you asked me to be your boyfriend.”
“Mhm,” he hums, hearing the smile on Carlos’ lips. “On the hood of your car.”
“I thought about this.”
“Dancing?”
“Being with you forever,” Carlos says softly.
“Even back then?”
“Uh huh.”
His heart thumps loud in his chest when Carlos tells him those kinds of things, like when he said he always thought they were soulmates. He was miles away from thinking he deserved anything like that back then too scared to admit he wanted it- a future. He knows now there were parts of Carlos that were scared too, in his own way. But on the roof of the car that night, they both began to believe what they felt for each other was stronger than what they were afraid of. And they got here, ready to dance at their wedding.
“I can’t wait to be your husband, in front of everyone that we love,” he says, feeling his throat tighten. He thinks about the men they were when they were underneath the aurora borealis all those years ago and the things they were both scared of and how those things don’t scare them so much anymore. He leans back and smooths a hand down Carlos’ cheek and thinks if only that version of Carlos could see himself now, how confident he is in himself now compared to back then. “I’m- I’m really happy you and your dad are in a better place.”
Carlos exhales deeply. “Me too… it feels… it feels like everything I ever wanted.”
“I’m so proud of you.”
They bring their foreheads together and TK closes his eyes. He feels like they’re ready to dance at their wedding, he feels brave. Nothing much scares him anymore.
“Oh, that reminds me.”
“Hm?”
“I keep meaning to ask you about my dad’s hat,” Carlos says. “Are you alright if he wears the Stetson during the ceremony and in the pictures?”
“Of course I am, you don’t need to ask me that.”
Carlos shakes his head lovingly. “I know but I just wanted to make sure, it can be a bit of a scene stealer.”
“It’s fine, baby.”
“He’s been so excited.”
“Yeah?”
TK feels his throat burning. Carlos came back from his parent’s house a few days ago telling him he helped Gabriel finish a puzzle like he’d won a first-place prize in something.
“He’s being weirdly competitive with your dad over who’s gonna give the best speech, I don’t know whether to be flattered or terrified.”
“With those two?”
“Terrified,” they say in unison.
They sway a little more, laughing at themselves gently.
“He’s actually been nagging me about the hat, what time is it?”
“Like eight thirty, you wanna call him?”
“Yeah, it’s not too late, I’ll try my mom, dads probably still working.”
TK kisses him, strokes his cheek.
He lets Carlos go, turns off the music and turns back to the stove. He stirs the pot and hears Carlos behind him.
Maybe he’s going to take a look at the suits hanging up in the closet, maybe he’s going to the bathroom to start running the bath for them both, maybe he’s going to switch on the TV.
“Hey mom, tell dad that I spoke to TK and that he can wear the cowboy hat with the tux.”