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I can see him! I haven’t seen him in so long. That’s what it feels like, anyways. A smile tugs at my lips, but that melts into a frown soon after. I step closer to him, to watch for a moment.
He’s standing at the corner, umbrella in hand. I’d given it back to him some time ago, and now I wish I had done it sooner. Because when you’re under an umbrella, the rain can’t mask your tears. It can’t mask his tears, so people can help him easier now. They can ask what’s wrong, and he’ll tell them because he knows he can’t hide it from them any longer. He’ll tell them what his father said, and what his father did. I keep observing, unsure of what to do now. He doesn’t see me when he walks into the school. It’s okay, though- I know it’s not his fault. He’s dealing with a lot.
Inside, I see a few of his friends surround him. Alya, Nino, Chloe, Kim… A few others, from other classes and years. No one sees me. That’s nothing unusual. What is unusual, though, is that Chloe isn’t arguing with anyone. Normally, even on Adrien’s bad days, she pushes everyone else away.
But I guess she really does know him, really cares for him. She looks like she knows she’s not enough to help him this time. I step a little closer again, to hear what’s going on.
He’s telling them about the Incident. That’s what I’ve come to call it, anyways.
“H-he… I heard him throw something to the ground,” he begins, already finding it hard to talk. I don’t blame him for that either. “So I went in- I don’t know why I did, I never would have before, but I did. I s-saw Ladybug, on the ground. It wasn’t my father standing over her.”
I winced, recalling that moment. I didn’t want to hear it, see it play through my mind again, but I had to listen. I had to hear the story, for Adrien’s sake.
“That guy, you know, H-Hawk Moth. It was him, I was sure of it. He stood over her, a-and… he reached down, took out her-er earrings. I was blinded by th-the light coming from her detransfo-ormation, didn’t see who it was. Maybe if I- maybe if I knew, if I could guess what he would do,” he says, shaking his head and breaking into sobs. “Maybe- Maybe then I could’ve sto-opped it. But I didn’t. And he stabbed his cane down, right above her heart. I didn’t want to look, but I heard h-her screaming, and I ha-ad to, I ha-ad to do something. so I looked, a-and… I saw Mari there. Where Ladybug had been. and I g-got angry. So, s-so angry.”
This next part was the part I liked the least. What had happened to me was awful, and I know that, but what had happened next was… worse, somehow.
“I transformed i-into Chat Noir. And I ra-an forward and ripped the miraculous off of him. And s-suddenly-y, it wa-as my f-father standing th-there. I sc-screamed at him, and kicked him back. T-took the earrings from him. I wanted to do more, I… I wanted tohurt him. But then sh-she gasped behind me. I had to take care of her. Protect her. So I carried her out, t-to the hospital…”
At this point, I see him collapse against Nino and Chloe, the sobs and grief too much for him. I can tell he’s not going to be able to continue. But that’s fine. Everyone knows the rest of the story anyways. I look at all their faces, and realize that even with all the rain, their tears are distinguishable. I think, maybe I was just so blinded by everything going on, that I never stopped to really look at people before. Because this is such an obvious thing to notice, now that I’ve taken the time to look.
Anyways, the group is hugging now. I really want to join them, so I finally close the distance between us. I want to speak too, but I know for a fact they won’t hear me- no one has yet. So, instead, I just join the hug. I don’t believe they can feel me joining, but I want them to. I wish they could feel my love for them., even though I’ve left them behind. I squeeze a little harder, trying to pinpoint all of my power and love and energy on this small little group. It doesn’t seem to be working, though.
I sigh, and I go to hug Adrien one more time. I give him my full attention, and when I hug, he stiffens. His head whips around, but he can’t see anything. He doesn’t see me. I don’t blame him. I would never blame him. I just wish he would stop blaming himself.
There’s nothing I can do, though, other than give him a hug here and there, whether he feels them or not. And I guess I can be another guardian looking out for him, if his mom agrees to let me. I really hope she will. Because she was a hero, too. So she must understand that, as a Ladybug, I have a need to protect people. I want to keep protecting people. My grip tightens, and I swear that, for just a moment, he knows it’s me. No one else can hear it, because it’s quieter than his breathes, but I can. I think it was meant for me to hear it.
“Mari.”
I smile again. He knows. I let go for now, and I walk away to let the group mourn. I’ll continue to watch from afar, approaching when I’m needed. I won’t leave any of them alone. Not even Chloe. They are some of the people I want to protect most, and I’m going to do just that.
Once a Ladybug, always a Ladybug. Not even death can change that.