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I'm okay! (trust me)

Summary:

Illi and Mikey transfer to a private school where they navigate and go through the average teenage struggles

Notes:

just wanted to say some tags I have already added won't show up till a bit later but they WILL show up so bear with me . ok enjoy !!!

Chapter 1: Kill All Your Friends

Chapter Text

Frank and Ray were watching the analog clock tick away. Still a whole hour left until lunch. They'd only been back in school for 1 month but it was already the same tiring routine

They sat far enough in the back of the classroom where they could whisper to each other without the teacher noticing unless it was completely silent in the room

And that's what they were currently doing

“psstt- Ray- Ray!” 

Ray turned his head from the clock to look at Frank now

“Dude what do you want?” he whispered back

“I dare you to throw a paper plane at Mrs. Jackson”

Ray rolled his eyes and turned to face the front again

“I'm so bored c'mon man!” Frank said with hushed urgency 

Frank always initiated these conversations and while Ray usually responded back for a few minutes, he really needed to focus on today's lesson. Ray was the only reason Frank was passing calculus in the first place and if he didn't pay attention now they'd both be screwed for the upcoming test

Frank laid back in his chair now staring at the ceiling. He only sat straight up when he heard the classroom door creak open

Then came someone fumbling into the room. He's never seen them before, maybe they were new? Honestly, he might've not even known what gender they were if he didn't notice the pants they were wearing as per the male dress code. 

He had an androgynous kind of look that Frank immediately noted. Shoulder length black hair, long eyelashes, soft jawline– 

‘was this really a man?’ Frank thought 

“Sorry- Are you Mrs. Jackson? Calculus?” the student asked 

“Yes I am, and yes it is. You must be Gerard then?” She responded

“Oh it’s actually-”

“Are you a man or a woman?” 

The few people snickered at the comment

“Shut the hell up Pete, wasn't funny the first hundred times you've said it before” Frank said. Now he was the one rolling his eyes

The new student just stood near the door awkwardly awaiting direction from the teacher

“Frank, Pete, settle down. The last thing we need is for you two to begin bickering again” 

The teacher turned her attention back to who actually needed it now

“You can go sit in front of Ray over there. Ray raise your hand please” she said

Ray raised his hand and the student quickly shuffled over to sit at the desk. The teacher quickly resuming teaching where they left off 

The second they sat down, Frank leaned over his desk to tap them on the shoulder

“Just ignore that guy he's a total dick– I'm Frank by the way, you're sitting in front of my friend Ray” 

Frank gave a grin as he held his hand out for a handshake. It took a few seconds before they processed what Frank was doing

“I'm Illi, nice to meet you” they whispered while returning the handshake “you too Ray” 

Frank was sure that wasn't what the teacher called them, but he wasn't gonna question it further 

Frank had no problem saying his thoughts anytime he wanted, much less when it came to people he wanted to befriend. That's how he became friends with Ray. A simple “I like your headphones, what're you listening to?” started their friendship back in freshman year

“Illi.. that name rocks” Ray chimed in

“Oh- thank you” Illi responded shyly and smiled before turning back around to face the teacher

Frank and Ray glanced at each other quickly. They knew they had to become Illi's friend immediately. 

Frank scribbled on a piece of paper and handed it to Ray

‘dude we gotta ask him to lunch’

‘why don't you do it when the bell rings??’ Ray wrote before tossing the paper back

‘i already introduced us, u do it Toro’ 

Ray sighed before nodding at Frank and putting the note in his pocket. They only had… 45 minutes left. Great. 

Frank wanted to continue talking to the new and alluring Illi, but he figured it could wait 45 minutes. Instead, he spent his time mindlessly drawing on the desk with a pencil

The bell rang finally, and Frank looked at Ray as everyone began packing up

Ray wasn't as good with talking to people as Frank was, but he also knew he'd never hear the end of it if he didn't ask Illi to join them at lunch 

Illi was just about to get up and leave before hearing a faint “Hey, do you wanna have lunch with us?” from behind her

“Me?”

“Yeah you!” Frank jumped in, he ultimately couldn't keep his mouth shut

“I mean you're new and everything I assume you need some people to show you around” 

“Yeah that would honestly be nice. I already missed my first class because I couldn't find it and I spent another 30 minutes looking for this one” 

By now all three of them were walking to the cafeteria 

“Sooo did you just move here or…?” Ray asked

“Oh- no no I didn't move, just transferred schools. My last school was um..” Illi paused thinking of what to say next 

“full of ignorant people” they settled on

“This school probably isn't any better, just warning you” Frank scoffed 

They reached the cafeteria. Usually they'd eat outside, but Frank and Ray didn't wanna complicate Illi’s day more. Sitting down at a little circle table in the corner, Frank set his things down and got up to go buy lunch. Ray and Illi had packed

“Hey I have a question and don't answer if it's totally weird” Ray said

“Shoot” 

“How'd you get the school to give you pants? I mean all the girls have to wear a skirt y'know”

Illi stopped mid bite and set their sandwich down 

“What?” they responded

“Like, your uniform” Ray moved his hand and vaguely pointed downwards toward Illi's pants

“Oh.. Oh- I mean yeah I am a girl- but the school has me wearing these because of um.. well- you know..?” 

Ray looked at her with a confusing look until it clicked

“Oh shit I had no idea– it's totally cool though we don't care about that kind of stuff” 

Illi's face flushed, she felt a little flattered that Ray's first impression of her was thinking she's a woman. She is a woman– unfortunately it just wasn't often people thought that. Not that she was open about being transgender but she also wasn't explicitly trying to hide it either. It was one of the main reasons she transferred to begin with. Plus Ray seemed chill enough so she had no problem telling him 

It was then Frank came back with his… rather sad looking school lunch

“Hope you guys didn't miss me too much” he said with a smirk 

“I already told Ray- but I hope you're cool with me being a girl and stuff” Illi said outright 

Ah.. so he was a she. Frank internally cursed at himself for assuming and not catching on earlier in the classroom

“Oh that's totally cool man- or uh-”

Illi chuckled

"Don't worry, I don't mind” she smiled 

“So what class do you have after lunch?” Ray asked

“I have Art, but I have to meet up with my brother outside the gym first.. which I have no idea where it is” 

“That's perfect! I have gym after lunch so I could show you there. With the company of Toro too” Frank added 

All three of them were surprised about how well they seemed to be getting along. It was a total contrast from Illi's old school

“Thank you so much seriously” she said, finishing off her sandwich and moving to a little bag of chips

“Did your brother transfer too?” Frank asked

“Yeah, he needed a change from our old school too. Plus he said he wanted to protect me in case anything happened. It feels a little backwards though considering he's younger. He has the same lunch as us actually.. but I think maybe he's eating in the library?” Illi chuckled 

“Is he a junior?” Ray spoke up

“Yeah, just turned 17. You'd think he's a senior though. Just wait, you'll see” 

___

The rest of the lunch period they spent talking about movies and music they all enjoyed, occasionally asking more about Illi's life without trying to overstep 

The first lunch bell rang and Frank stayed true to his word about showing Illi to the gym

“Basically from the cafeteria you just wanna turn right and then walk straight until you can make another right and eventually…”

Frank dragged on his sentence until he could see the gym doors

“You'll be at the gym” he finished, an accomplished face washing over him

“Thank you! now I just gotta wait for.. Mikey!” 

Ray and Frank turned to the direction Illi was shouting to, a lanky brown haired man was walking up to them– well, Illi 

“Hey Ils.. and um?” Mikey looked over at the two accompanying her 

“Frank”

“Ray”

They both responded with their respective names 

“Alright I'm gonna head into gym though- Ray see you after school, Illi see you tomorrow hopefully, and Mikey nice meeting you” Frank said swiftly before entering the gym doors 

Mikey looked at Illi and raised an eyebrow at Frank's peculiar extrovertedness but he continued ruffling through his backpack 

Ray felt a bit awkward not knowing if he should be staying there or not but if anything he could just say he'd show Illi to the Art rooms 

“Ah- here” Mikey pulled out a pair of thin headphones from his bag and handed them to Illi 

“Perfect! These'll work. Thanks Mikey” she said

Mikey simply nodded, he's not really big on vocal responses 

“Alright um.. I gotta go to tech now” Mikey spoke up

“Oh do you have Mr Wills?” Ray butt in

Mikey nodded 

“I'm headed to the same class you are then”

“You guys should walk together! Mikey could use someone friendly” Illi teased 

Mikey shot her a glare, one that clearly said ‘please stop talking’. Ray figured the guy was just mega antisocial 

“It's fine Mikey- Ray is super chill and knows the way, just walk with him don't be a dork” Illi was semi-joking, clearly pushing Mikey to go outside his comfort zone and agree

“Yeah. okay” He finally let up

The bell rang again, all three of them were running late

“Alright bye guys! Don't be too harsh Mikey” Illi stated

Ray waved and began walking the way, Mikey following a little behind

Now that Illi was standing there alone she realized she had no clue where the Art rooms were. Maybe she should've asked before they left, but oh well 

Ray and Mikey felt incredibly awkward walking alone together. Ray figured he should at least make some small talk? 

“You big with computers?” 

Ray wanted to slap himself for such a stupid question

“Yeah. At my last school I was the go-to guy for computer problems. So I signed up for the tech class here” Mikey responded very straightforward 

“Ohhh.. you should check out the computers in the library. They're always broken” Ray chuckled lightly as he turned the corner leading to their class

“I like this school’s Library, it's uh- bigger here. Lot’s more to read” 

Bingo. Mikey liked reading

“You like reading?” Ray asked

Mikey picked his head up more to meet Ray's face, it seems the question sparked an excited reaction out of him

“Yeah- I'm currently reading Fortune’s Always Hiding from the Three Tales of Chemical Romance collection. It’s… honestly kind of dark” 

“It sounds cool. I'm more of a comic guy” 

“Illi's a huge comic person I'd definitely bring up comics with her” 

Before they knew it they reached the class. Only 3 minutes late. Not terrible 

___

There was only one class of the day left after that. Mikey's schedule was rather unfortunate considering the layout of the school

First class was English, second history, third tech, and finally fourth was gym. All in separate buildings or floors. For a private school, the size of it was way larger than Mikey and Illi's previous public school which surprised them 

Mikey always hated gym but he hoped there were some fancy rich kid games he could get away with playing. He wasn't a fan of getting all sweaty or running around 

Luckily the court had croquet, and that's what he chose to play. He vaguely understood the rules and it looked easy enough to play so why not give it a shot 

Just hit the ball through the wicket

He missed

He was bored of it already. Everyone already had scrambled into groups for games, it looked like Mikey was all alone– and well, he was 

As he was looking around for anything else to do, he heard a muffled grunt come from the side of the school. It was an obscured corner so he couldn't see what made the noise. 

He slowly slinked away from the teacher’s view toward that corner, bringing the croquet mallet with him. As he approached he heard hushed voices speaking frantically. There were maybe 3? 4 people? 

Mikey weighed the pros and cons of the situation, spy on some strangers and cure his curiosity with the hope they don't see him or just go back to croquet

He peaked over the corner to see a kid being pinned against the wall by a much taller and stronger looking kid, surrounding them were two more of the taller kid’s friends. So it was 4 people in total. 

Mikey didn't want trouble at all, especially not on his first day. But something about the situation made him furious

It reminded him of when the same thing happened to Illi

He remembered when Illi came home crying with a black eye and busted lip. How her clothes had rips and dirt on them 

It was the next day at school he started a fight with who had done it. He got suspended for a week but it was worth it to him

Mikey really had no tolerance for this kind of behavior, and before he knew it he was walking up to the group 

It was a stupid idea but so much adrenaline kept Mikey from stopping and turning back around. No one had even noticed him yet 

One swift swing from the mallet got everyone's attention though. It connected straight to one of the guy's jaws, effectively knocking him to the ground. The taller man dropped the kid against the wall and looked over at Mikey

“Who the fuck are you?!”

He stepped closer to Mikey now. Honestly, he was pretty intimidating but it was too late to back out now

The guy who was hit sat up, groaning as he reached to touch the blood trickling from his jaw

“Let him go” Mikey responded, plain and simple

Mikey wasn't the most athletic guy, but he knew how to defend himself… to an extent. It was beginning to look like he bit off more than he could chew though

“Listen, kid” the voice was still hushed, but angrier now

“If you don't get the fuck out of here right now-”

Mikey raised the mallet again, but before he could swing it, the third guy ran and tackled Mikey to the ground 

It was now a full on scuffle, the first guy kicking at Mikey's stomach as the third guy held him down. It wasn't until the smaller guy jumped in to defend Mikey that teachers finally noticed what was going on and ran over to break it up

___

Mikey and the kid sat outside the principal's office. The three other guys involved were inside with their parents already. 

“You didn't have to do that”

Mikey looked over at the student. Dried blood was smeared across his face 

“It's fine. Not the first fight I've been in” Mikey responded quietly, hanging his head down to stare at the ground. Any second his parents would show up and absolutely be furious with him

“Hitting the one guy with the croquet mallet was badass though” the student added

“My name's Pete” 

“I'm Mikey” 

“You new here?” Pete asked

“Yeah”

Pete caught on to the fact Mikey wasn't really a talker. Which is odd considering how fast he stepped in to hit a guy with a mallet to help a stranger 

“Your ribs feel ok?”

“God no, it hurts like shit. My parents are gonna kill me”  

they both let out a small laugh 

The whole situation took an hour to resolve between the parents and students. Mikey very well could've been expelled and had charges pressed against him, but the school dean let him off with 2 days of in school suspension, putting into consideration it was his first day, he wasn't originally the one to start the fight, and he hadn't severely injured anyone

Some of the parents argued that it was unfair because Mikey had struck someone using a ‘weapon’, but again, the kid hadn't been severely injured and was participating in the active harm of another student, Pete 

Mikey was still made to apologize. He did, rather insincerely 

The three guys got 4 day suspensions while Pete got the same 2 day in school suspensions Mikey got

There was only 10 minutes left of school, but everyone involved was advised to just go home.

Of course the McMillin's were already at the school with Mikey, so they waited in the car for Illi

“Are you kidding me Michael? I mean seriously what we're you think?!” Mrs. McMillin sounded frantic for an answer 

“I didn't want him to get hurt” Mikey's face and tone were deadpan, he was a little irritated he got himself into this mess now

“Yeah and you ended up hurting another student because of that so look where it got you!” 

Mr. McMillin didn't dare say a thing. They just sat silently in the car waiting for Illi to get out

Illi eventually arrived, a little late, but she was expecting to see Mikey outside so when he didn't show up she looked around and eventually found their car

“Mom, Dad! I didn't know you were picking us up today” she was very cheery when talking to them

But the car was still silent 

“Um.. Did I miss something?” 

“I got suspended” Mikey told Illi

“Come on Mikey-” 

“It's true. Hit a kid with a mallet” Mr McMillin chimed in

“Holy shit no way– Mikey why did you do that?!” 

Mikey faced the opposite way, opting to stare out the window instead of facing Illi

“I'll tell you when we get home”

And with that, they went home 

___

“Dude you have to tell me what happend!!” Illi practically burst into Mikey's room with him when they got home 

“Some kid was getting beat up I just wanted to help him”

“So you hit another kid..?”

“I know it's stupid, mom already told me” Mikey said now laying down on his bed

“You can't keep doing this Mikey seriously- mom and dad won't hesitate to take you out of-”

“I know! I know Illi…” Mikey brought his hands over his eyes and rested them there. His head and ribs hurt

“Sorry! I know your day was shitty buuut…” 

“Yeah yeah just tell me about your day and your new friends” 

Illi sat on Mikey's bed 

“Well.. I was late to a lot of my classes, but Frank and Ray from earlier they're in my Calculus. I sit right in front of Ray and there's this guy that I can already tell is annoying I just can't remember his name… it'll come to me later-”

Illi usually got sidetracked and was prone to rambling but Mikey didn't mind. At least her day went better than his