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Chamber doors sealed just behind Veronica as she entered, like a coffin; clean, efficient and final. She was meant to salute, but no one expected that of her, they didn’t want that from her. She looked upward at the same metal on the walls, on the ceiling, on the podium in which Elder McNamara stood. His eyes glinted with disappointment, his shoulders carried exhaustion. Veronica was used to being called in here, but it felt different this time, the weight in the room wears on her. This was probably the last time she would see this place for a long while, and maybe that was a good thing.
“Scribe Santaneglo.” McNamara’s voice boomed through the room, “you were called here to account for repeated failures of doctoral adherence.”
He really found a poetic way to say “We don’t like you.”
The Elder sat, face shadowed. Veronica couldn’t help but remember when Elijah used to stand where he did. God how she missed it. Things were so simple then, it all made sense, and she didn’t have to constantly defend herself from people who would never listen. She barely understood why she felt the need to constantly prove herself to them. That dumb hope that maybe, maybe, one day she could finally make them understand. Veronica knew she couldn’t, she couldn’t even make Catherine stay, and she had thought Catherine actually loved her.
That wasn’t fair. Veronica had a chance to go with her, and she didn’t take it. So what did that say about her love? It certainly didn’t make it any deeper than Catherine’s. It was frustrating, that all 3 of them had to be so stubborn, that they couldn’t just be happy with what they had, or make things simple for each other.
Now Veronica was alone. She was still here in a dying Brotherhood, while they were probably reshaping the wasteland in a positive way. Grounded to what she knew, she had no right to judge them, because at least they wanted to change.
“I can’t argue with that.” Veronica finally said, defeat lacing her tone.
“That is the first time I’ve ever heard you say that.” Elder McNamara scoffs, making Veronica scowl with contempt. Just his tone annoyed her, making her argue again out of spite.
“What else am I supposed to do?” Veronica flailed her hands, “the doctrine is going to kill us.”
“The doctrine, the rule, of seclusion is making us safe.”
“Oh don’t fucking kid yourself! You’re scared, so you try to scare everyone else into being just as cowardly as you to make yourself feel better. News flash for you, while we hide in here, the NCR gets stronger, and the wasteland forgets about us. We’re becoming a footnote- not even, we’re becoming a rumor, we’re barely a thought.” Veronica breathed out, her face crimson from speaking so quickly.
“Do you have any proof of that?” Elder McNamara put his hands upon the stand, using it to hoist himself up. A long shadow cast over the scribe, but even now, Veronica stood up straight. She tilted her head upward, gaze unwavering. A new wave of determination fueled Veronica; heart pounding out of her chest.
“I’m the only one who leaves this bunker, or at least, the only one who goes beyond Hidden Valley. The NCR gets bigger everyday, they took Primm, they’ve taken the Hoover Dam, despite all the shit thrown at them, and how many people they lost, they just keep going.” Veronica argued.
“I don’t care about the NCR. They’re greedy, and have killed many of us. They are the reason we stay here. I could care less about the way they run their army, because the way they do it is wrong.”
Her eyes narrowed, teeth gritting, “I don’t like them either, but I’m telling you, they’re helping people, at least in their own backward ways. But fine, if you don’t want to talk about the NCR, let’s discuss the Legion.”
“What of the Legion?”
“They may be a bunch of insecure men who mount each other more than they mount their women, but they sure as hell don’t back down. Imagine what we could do to help defeat them. We could become a force of the Mojave again, revered as a group who stood up to the Legion and chased them out! They’re hurting people, and our tech could help!”
“That tech is dangerous, and could easily fall into their hands.” McNamara shook his head, “besides, we do not have enough people for such a battle.”
Veronica held her accusation, it was too easy to tell him that the reason they don’t have enough people is because he closed off recruitment for the Brotherhood. She needed him to listen, and now wasn’t the time for easy strikes. “The Legion doesn’t care about tech, they would destroy it before they ever used it. Not to mention, we can open up the Brotherhood! It might be hard to recruit new members, but if we worked with the Followers of the Apocalypse for example, we could start helping and recruiting through there!”
“That bunch is far too naive, one day they will be swallowed by those they swear to help. Eventually, the drug addicts and alcoholics will realize it’s easier to take than wait.”
“Then let’s prevent that. Let’s be guards, or lend our tech.” Veronica begged, “please, I can speak with them. Don’t you want the Brotherhood to rise back to its former glory? We can agree on one thing, right? We both want to see the Brotherhood thrive.”
McNamara stepped off his stand, his boots echoed through the metal walls. He walked until he was face to face with Veronica, staring down upon her, now from up close. He was so close, Veronica felt his breath on her face. “You will bring destruction with these naive ideas. I have served the Brotherhood far longer than you, I’ve learned every bit of history. Your ideas might work for a bit, but The Brotherhood of Steel isn’t about glory or recognition. It is about protecting the people from themselves, and preserving technology to keep humanity from destroying itself again.”
“Well.” Veronica shut her eyes tight, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth. “Maybe I don’t believe in that agenda. It’s outdated, and at this rate, the other factions will seek us out and take our technology anyway, because we’re weak now. There are 15 to 20 of us? The NCR and the Legion have hundreds… thousands of people on their side. Once they remember we exist, they’ll kill us, because all we are is a pest with fancy weapons that they want. No amount of power armor or laser weapons will save us from that. It’s your decision, but, at some point we can’t wait anymore. I can’t stay here if we’re just going to sit here and take it.”
Elder McNamara sighed, and for a moment Veronica thought he was considering it. Maybe it was her own damn naivety, but she thought she got through to him. His tone was somber as he turned his back to Veronica, his hands folded behind his back. All she saw was the clench of his fists, like the words he was about to utter was hard, even for him. “Then you should go.”
“What? Now wait-”
“Don’t bother, I have nothing else to say to you. Save your breath for whoever you find to listen to you from here on out. You’re clearly no longer invested in the Brotherhood.”
“I’m arguing because I am invested!” Veronica yelled, her tone panicked. Her palms became sweaty, the metal walls closed in. The once familiar space felt so tight, a foreboding weight. “I want what is best for the Brotherhood.”
“Veronica, enough.”
“You’re not understanding, I just want to see us to our former glory!”
“Veronica, stop.”
“Please. I’ve invested so much of my life here. I gave up everything to help make us better.” Veronica felt tears well up in her eyes, but it wasn’t sadness. It was frustration, her breathing became labored, and she frantically wiped her eyes so as not to embarrass herself. McNamara said nothing, he didn’t bother to look at her. “I could have left a long time ago, I had the chance to, but I decided to stay. At least have the decency to look at me.”
McNamara’s shoulders tensed, like he wanted to say something. He didn’t want to start another argument, not now. “Go, Veronica. Pack your things, before I send Hardin to force you out.”
Veronica opened her mouth to say something else, but no words came out. She had never had this happen before, but she was out of words to say. She was hit with a sharp pain, the same one she got when Elijah told her he was leaving, the same one she got when she couldn’t convince Catherine to stay. They left on their own, Veronica was the last one, and she was all alone, with no guidance to where she would go next. She slowly backed up, then turned harshly, storming off to her part of the barracks. She didn’t say anything to anyone, her body far too tense. She was worried she would snap on people who had nothing to do with this, or worse, cry as she saw their faces for the last time.
Veronica didn’t have much, a couple changes of clothes, a pistol, ammo and basic provisions. She slung her bag over her shoulder, taking one last glance at the tiny bed she slept on the whole time. She swallowed, before storming out of the bunker. Veronica had no set destination, she let her feet carry her forward on a familiar path to Route 188. At least people went through there, so maybe she would see someone there worth traveling with.
It wasn’t over, Veronica wasn’t going to let this be the last time the Brotherhood saw her, she wasn’t going to let it fall this way. She’d gather more concrete evidence, she’d prove it, or die trying. She has given too much to let it fall now. As she contemplated her plan against the railing of the 188, a strange figure emerged up the road. They looked as if they crawled straight from the grave, but the vault suit, pipboy, and angered look of revenge called to her. It felt so familiar.
“Hey there, where are you coming from?”