Shane wasn't entirely sure what had happened, he'd checked his phone to see a flurry of unknown numbers and no messages from his mom, dad, or Ilya, and was satisfied that nothing life altering was happening that he'd left his phone for the duration of practice.
Now?
God there were hundreds of unread messages.
It was the first fucking game of the season, they'd just hoisted a fucking Stanley Cup banner.
And Shane had been added to a group text thread labelled Cens WAGs + Harris.
He knew, vaguely, who Harris was. Ilya liked him, Shane tried not to feel insecure about the fact that an openly gay man he'd never met had unfettered access to his boyfriend's locker room.
For a heart pounding moment he panicked, worrying that Ilya had told Harris or someone else about them.
Except.
Every welcome text was addressed to Jane.
This is the singularly most overwhelming experience I have ever been subjected to.
Respectfully
Cassie
Hi sweetie! Sorry bout the sudden addition, Harris and I were doing our annual pre-first game WAG role call and realized you weren't in here
You've been with Ilya longer than he's played in Ottawa so it seemed unfair
Harris
Ilya was more than happy to provide your number when I asked after the game
Haas doesn't have anyone back home so you're the only newbie tonight
Cait
It's okay we'll work on it
Men women both? Harris you have any idea?
Harris
Not yet. Will keep you posted🫡
???
Selena
Luca Haas Ottawa's rookie
Yeah that part I got
Selena
Caitlin Cassie and Harris are plotting to set him up with someone to make him feel more at home here
Has he moved out of the shitty hotel next to the arena yet?
Ilya hated it
Said the eggs were too dry
Lisa
Wyatt hated it too
Sera
Correction Wyatt hated that you were still in Toronto for months after he got traded
Lisa
Oh hush
Selena
Anyone going to the Ottawa/Montreal game next week?
Lisa
I wish
Unfortunately the little humans keep getting injured and we're understaffed
Harris
Will send u pics dw
Lisa
This is why we keep you Harris
Cait
I'm driving, Jess and Sera are coming with if you need a ride Sel
Or Jane
I live in Montreal
And I can't make it anyways
Harris I would like to request pics too
Harris
I got u
Selena
Es-tu Québécoise, Jane?
Non, je suis désolé
Selena
🥲
I am fluent, though
It annoys Ilya to no end
Harris
Oh?
Cait
Harris no fishing
Harris
Listen I've got a puppy to name and if there's a fun French name he won't get then I'll use it
He deserves it for being Miss Moms Word about the fucking loon
Oh easy
Loon's for me
Harris
?!!!!!!!!
DETAILS?!!
Ask nicely
You're Canadian where are your manners Mr. Drover
Cait
HA!
Cassie
Oh my god I love her
Jess
Agreed lets keep her
Selena
You say that like we haven't already forcibly added her to the cult of WAG
Jess
Jane please say you'll stay even if Ilya leaves
Ilya's not leaving any time soon
He really likes playing in Ottawa
Cait
Even tho our team sucks and he's one of the top scorers in the league?
Jess
Aside from fucking Hollander
Selena
Be nice he's a billingual king from Ottawa
Lisa
And Ilya's the meaner of the two
According to Wyatt Hollander's a sweetheart
Can confirm Ilya's the asshole of the two of them
Harris
Hey maybe we set him up with Haas, MTL isn't that far away
I'll ask Ilya
NO
ABORT THAT
DO NOT POKE ILYA ABOUT SHANE
BAD IDEA
VERY BAD IDEA HARRIS
Harris
???
Cait
I really want to make Harris ask Ilya about Hollander now
He is
Really protective
Lisa
Protective?
He didn't seem that way at the Camp this summer
It's that sort of
Anyone else gives him shit it's war type deal
He stopped talking to Marleau after leaving Boston because he landed a clean hit on Shane
Shane doesn't even hold it against Marleau but Ilya does
Harris
That's kinda sweet
Okay so no trying to set Hollander and Haas up
Square 1 girls get me options
Jane if u have anyone in MTL that'd be interested in a nerdy sweet rich hockey play from Switzerland who speaks four languages lmk
Okay?
"Harris is being weird," Ilya said when Shane picked up the call, his iPad propped up on it's stand on his kitchen island to eat dinner with Ilya.
"Weird?"
"Mhm." Ilya twirled a fork in some creamy pasta and took a bite. Shane stared, hungry not for the fucking food but for the man eating it. "We were working on a cross-post for the Cens and the foundation to post, there is a whole conference committee thing on mental health happening in Ottawa. He is doing that thing where he wants to ask a question but knows better so he babbles."p>
"Oh." Shane grinned. "Well. Perhaps you should consider the fact that he is in the WAG chat that you so helpfully provided my phone number for him to add me to."
Ilya blinked, frowned, then his head tilted to one side as he pondered it. "What did you say?"
"What do you say about me in the Montreal WAG chat?" Shane smirked and spoke the next words in sync with Ilya;
"The WAG chat is sacred space, no hockey players allowed."
"Well this does not apply, clearly," Ilya insisted. "They have Harris! He is not WAG!"
"In case you haven't realized, neither are we." Shane's pre-portioned dinner was unevenly cooked but he didn't want to get up to reheat it. "They're trying to find someone to set Haas up with."
"What?" Ilya looked utterly lost, eyes scanning from side to side as if reading a translation wrong and going back to reread it.
"The WAGs, or at least, Harris, Cassie, and Caitlin are. The rest of us are sort of idly encouraging it." Shane grinned and looked at Ilya. "Harris suggested setting Shane Hollander up with Haas, Ilya's Jane said that was a bad idea."
"Very," Ilya's voice was firm and a touch possessive and fuck if Shane wasn't across the fucking continent playing LA he would be jumping in the car to book it to Ottawa. "What did you say?"
"I was vague," Shane answered quickly. "Not giving anything away."
"Obviously."
"Yeah so. I just said you're protective of me, told them that you don't talk to Marleau anymore because of the hit." Ilya visibly flinched a little and Shane was quick to shift his tone. "Sorry. I know you don't like talking about it it just seemed like the one example I could use."
"Is fine."
"I figure the alternative was Harris asking you for Shane's number and either him calling it and realizing Shane and Jane are the same person, or you ripping his head off." Shane pressed his fingers to his lips then the tablet screen. "I'm sorry."
"Was right call. I do not want to snap at Harris but..." Ilya trailed off. He didn't need to say that he would have. Ilya was a protective person, especially where Shane was concerned.
"If you're gonna be possessive at least let me be there to watch," Shane teased.
Ilya smirked. "Oh really?"
Harris
Ilya's fine no one panic
Jess
Will hurt like a bitch though
Lisa
???
Cait
Puck to the knee
Trying to stop a goal
Looks like Wyatt called him an idiot
Lisa
He is an idiot
Goalies have padding for that express purpose
Jane make sure he keeps his weight off it
Will do
(the next day)
Hey what colour of bruising is it no longer bruising and concerning
Lisa
???
Ilya's knee
>Lisa
Oh! Just keep an eye out for swelling, Trevor's a good doc he would've sent Ilya to the hospital if he needed it
Harris
Wasn't Ilya supposed to be meeting w Hollander today?
If you think he stuck around for a full day foundation meeting in Montreal when the president lives in Ottawa you're not paying attention Harris
Cait
ofc he's not meeting w Hollander
Sera
He's getting some w Jaaaaane
Cassie
Good Zane says he's been high strung recently
Will do my best to return him rested and de-strung
Selena
>A true team player making the ultimate sacrifice
Cait
One we must all make sooner or later
Except for Harris
Harris
Unfortunately no hockey player has swept me off my feet
Cait
Don't give up hope darling
There's hundreds of hockey boys out there we'll find you one
Just be prepared to exchange dirty socks in laundry hampers for blow jobs
Selena
Shit!
C'est une idée tellement futée
My own invention
No smelly socks festering anywhere in mine or Ilya's homes
Especially not the cottage
Lisa
God I wish I could go to a cottage
Jess
You have a cottage?
Mine and Ilya's
Legally just mine but it's our home
Cassie
Wait oh my god I just put something together
You're in Montreal, right Jane?
Yeah?
Cassie
Which is like, 2 hours drive
Yes?
Cassie
You're why Ilya never comes to the grill parties!
Grill parties?
Harris
Oh my god Jane you gotta come to one
Bood and Cassie host, the food is so fucking good
Selena
Team bonding for the guys, WAG bonding for us
Jess
You should come!
Not likely
My work's hectic
Ilya visits whenever our schedules align and he has the time for it
And half the time I'm driving to him to hole up in his place
Store up the physical contact till we're stuck w Skype and FaceTime and texting again
Harris
That can't be easy
It's not
But it's worth it
Jess
Awwwww that's adorable
Cassie
How long have you two been together?
Sera
Since before he signed with Ottawa obv but
Harris
And you don't have to share if you don't want to
Depends how you measure it
Cait
Lets use hockey boy metrics
First time you hooked up?
Summer before rookie season
Harris
Holy shit that's like
11 years
yep
Didn't figure out how to make it work long term till 2017 tho
Hockey boys and emotional intelligence
Jess
They have none very true
Cait
So you guys have been a couple since 2017?
Yeah
Though neither of use really pursued anyone seriously for a bit before that
Okay not entirely true I tried to get with someone else and it uh
Didn't go great
Ilya likes to remind me of that train wreck every so often
But that ex is one of my closest friends now so
They both remind me frequently and when they're in the same place (rarely) it's a chirp-fest
Jess
It's good you're on good terms w your ex tho!
Cait
You said Ilya was a possessive person tho
He has nothing to worry about with that ex
Incompatible sexualities
Harris
Oh yeah that'd put any weird jealousy down real quick 🤣
Cait
Speaking from experience Harris?
Harris
Yup!
Late October
Harris
Hey Jane do you know wtf Ilya's instragram posts are?
nope sorry
Don't really use it
Boarding a flight for work and there's no ginger ale pray for me 🙁
Cait
You can survive sweetie I believe in you
Lisa
Truly the biggest of battles for the strongest of soldiers
Harris
Like it looks like he stole a piece of plastic from a kid's jewelry set
Cassie
Enjoy the flight!
Late November
Harris
How tf do you get a hockey player to relax?
Lisa
Hun you're gonna get unprofessional non-applicable answers from us
Cait
Yeah I was gonna suggest blow jobs
Selena
Or boudoir photo shoot pictures
Cassie
Or a baby
Find out what his caffeine intake is
And his favourite snack food
Esp if he does a performance diet of any kind cause the snack foods that fit those can be hard to get
And Amazon doesn't ship to hotels so he'll prob appreciate it
And get him out of his head
IDK what sorta person Barrett is but he's been working at being an asshole for a while
He's probably regretting that right now
Harris
Jane that was legitimately helpful
Thanks babe
11 years I've got some tricks
Esp on helping hockey players who put up the front of being unfeeling mean assholes
Cassie
I always forget thats how the world sees Ilya
He's a sweetheart
The mushiest of sweethearts
Seriously you guys should see some of the bits from camp that we couldn't post
Ilya's fucking great with kids
Baby fever through the fucking roof istg
Selena
Oh believe me we get it
Harris
I don't
Selena
Thats why it's + Harris
Harris
He said his favourite treat is fucking salmon
Wtf do I do with that?
Cross the parking lot and grab some costco smoked salmon
February
Harris
You guys know you're sworn to secrecy right?
Selena
WAG code yes
Cait
Yeah?
Cassie
mhm
ofc what's up?
(Harris changed the chat name to Cens WBAGs)
Selena
?!?!?!?!?!
UM
SECONDED?!?!
Harris
So.
Troy's gay
And he said Ilya knows and thinks Ilya told Jane
YEAH
HOLY SHIT HARRIS ARE YOU DATING TROY FUCKING BARRETT?!?!
Cait
OH MY GOD!
Lisa
HOLY SHIT
Sera
HARRIS BAGGED HIS HOCKEY PLAYER!!!
Selena
He BETTER be a dog person
Harris
He's learning
And Chiron loves him and he loves Chiron so
Oh I'm well aware he hogs Chiron time
Ilya won't shut up about it
WAIT DOES ILYA KNOW?
God fucking dammit I'm gonna have to keep this from him
Harris
Ilya's been playing matchmaker apparently
Lisa
Oh my god???
Jess
Ally behaviour fr
Harris
And Troy says he told Ilya
Plans to tell the rest of the team too just
Ruminating on how
Oh thank god
Oh wait no fuck
Harris
????
Ilya's not gonna shut up about being right for the next seven months
About being perceptive as shit
In two fucking languages
God he's so lucky I love him he's going to be so fucking smug
Jess
Is Ilya Rozanov ever not smug?
you're right
fuck wtf is wrong w me that i find it so hot
Cassie
Proof sexuality isn't a choice right there
Between Barrett and Ilya the Cens are gonna get a reputation
Harris
A reputation?
For softening the assholes and making them into nice people
Harris
But it's literally a mask?
I know!
But like
Publicly and stuff
Harris
Fair enough
If Ilya would let me get my fingers on his Instagram account I could fix his image so quick
Don't you dare.
They're not random.
Harris
Tf you mean not random have you seen his grid?
No cohesion, no meaning
None.
There's a meaning
Just not
Not one anyone but him and I get to know
Like the loon
Jess
Oh my god his Instagram is a secret love letter to you???
Cassie
You said you don't use instagram though?
He sent me DMs from the plane
Since the wifi was still working
I got them before I found out about the plane's emergency landing
Cait
God I can't imagine
Ngl I'm getting kinda tired about being secret
And ik he is too but it's just...
We can't. It's too complicated with our jobs right now and maybe we can figure out another plan
Just not now.
Now it's just a few people and that's enough. I think.
Anyways I checked his feed when I was waiting for him to call me back
There's meaning to all of the pictures. If Harris behaves I might share one
Harris
🥺🥺🥺🥺
My best friend has a bunch of kids and needed to take his wife to the hospital when she slipped on a toy and fucked up her ankle
Ilya and I were the emergency baby sitters and the kids decided we had to get married
With shitty plastic kids rings
Harris
Oh. My. God!
Jess
Stop that's so adorable!
Lisa
Oh my god that's the cutest thing
My best friend and Ilya communicate exclusively through chirps
But his kids call him Uncle Ilya and his wife adores Ilya
And I think they're friends too but the kind that just antagonize each other
He's the one person who knows the full story who didn't immediately ask what I saw in Ilya
He just said he'd have to meet him properly
Harris
We love supportive besties in this house
?
Jess
Internet turn of phrase sweetie, you're all good
Cassie
Like this is a safe place sorta thing
Oh. Got it.
You guys are so much more reliable with the turns of phrases than Urban Dictionary
Jess
Forsake that dark place and ask us
Do not venture into the dark maw of Urban Dictionary for knowledge
It does not hold it
Sera
Not Jess going into D&D mode in the corner
Jess
It's my natural state fuck off
Ha!
gtg work thing
Congrats Harris on your promotion from honorary to full fledged WAG
Harris
Thanks!
March
Harris
Folks no comments go full dark on social media
Fully HQ's orders here
No comments no activity no vagueposting no nothing
We're waiting for them to reach out
Cassie
Holy shit
Cait
Anyone know where they are?
Harris
No
Troy drove past Ilya's place this morning and there weren't any lights on and no one answered the door
Top brass at the NHL have ordered them benched
Both of them
Jess
What the fuck?
Harris
Crowell tried to force Troy to stop posting resources on his Instagram
He's been the reluctant ally because it's good for the brand to have Scott Hunter but Troy's coming out probably pissed him off too
I don't know what's going to happen here
Lisa
Shane honey, we're here if you need to talk
Sera
We've got your back
❤️
(Harris added Jackie to the chat)
(Jackie added Priya, Hanna, Olivia, Dani, Sarah, Bridget, Caitlin, Lucy and Rachel to the chat)
Okay so we're doing something for the game
Ilya and Shane don't know
Dani
Ooooo group plotting I love it
Lucy
What's up?
Priya
Besides our guys being fucking bigoted assholes
Hanna
Seconded
Dani
Thirded
Bridget
Pls tell me Ottawa has sense
Cassie
Our boys are pissed at Montreal
And Crowell
Ilya's been keeping them in the loop
And filling them in ig
Caitlin
Good! I'm glad your guys have Ilya's back
Cait
Name buddies!
Also glad yall have sense even if your men do not
Hanna
We are on sex strike
Was Lucy's idea
Jess
Oh you're a fucking genius Lucy I love you already
Lucy
I mean it's also hard to fuck someone you're pissed at
He's their captain he's the best player in the league and they're treating him like shit
Lisa
Preach!!!!
FUCKING RIGHT!
Anyways! Plan!
I've been talking to Jackie about this but
Bc we were p much all gonna go to the MTL/Ottawa game anyways
I thought yall should know I pulled strings
Cens HQ currently has enough Pride Night jerseys w/ Shane & Ilya's numbers to wear them
Jackie
We can either keep to our boys or keep to team lines, but we want to be united either way
Lisa
Oh this is so fucking good
Priya
Juicy!
Hanna
Harris you work with HQ yes?
Yep
Comms Director why?
Hanna
Make sure they think to check Ilya's passport before the team travels out of the country
Lisa
?
Jackie
Yeah I second that
Hanna
Russia could pull passport at any time
Try to force him out of work with the team, no team no visa, no visa Canada could force him to return to Russia, to prison time
Olivia
Fuck I didn't even think about that
Neither did I
Will pass that along thanks Hanna
Sarah
I say we keep to our boys
Cens WAGs wear Shane's, Metro WAGs wear Ilya's
He's our boy anyways
Jackie
True
Rachel
Finders keepers we keep him
Finders keepers?
Jackie
Ilya's been a Metros WAG since his last season w Boston
We've known for a while
Jess
Fuck I bet Hayden feels like shit
It's not even his fault fucking BRAD shared it
Jackie
It's a little his fault
I've been telling him to script the videos and edit them
Though I'm pretty sure this has traumatized him into never doing another one ever again
Wait how did you guys find out<
Olivia
Shane took a bad hit against Boston and Hayden knew so he made Ilya go with Shane to the hospital
He was really fucked up about it
Jackie
I called him and he picked up and everything came pouring out he was fucking terrified
Cait
I can't imagine Ilya terrified
I can.
Bridget
Fuck, I forgot you were on the plane Harris
Rachel
Oh someone should've called Shane to check in on him when that broke
Jackie
Well he was a little busy co-opting my husband and children into buying a million electric candles and going ring shopping so
He wasn't alone
Okay so Jackie if you can get me final headcount and sizing for the Ilya jerseys I can box them up for you
Cens WAGs I'll send yalls home in bags w your guys
And we've got the ticket block right at the ice level, five seats across four rows back so we'll be concentrated and visible
I've given myself permission to post about it
Lisa
Best comms director ever
I'm really good at my job
What got to Shane wasn't the empty block of family seats, it was that they didn't stay empty. Moments before they got back on the ice after warming up, when the live broadcasts always panned over the crowd, he watched as a combination of Centaurs and Metros WAGs made their way into their seats. Boyle and Jess' twins were split between Jess' hip and Priya's, and every member of the contingent were wearing pride jerseys.
All the pride jerseys looked basically the same; white with rainbow detailing and the team logo. The ones on the WAGs weren't just the basic ones, they were Shane and Ilya's.
But Jackie was wearing Ilya's. And Harris was wearing Shane's.
And the pattern continued, every Montreal WAG wore Ilya's pride jersey, and every Ottawa WAG wore Shane's.
Shane skated out, almost in a trance, into position, but he couldn't look away.
"Your wife is too good for you," Shane heard Ilya say to Hayden.
"She is," Hayden agreed.
He turned around to look at them. "Did you know they were going to do this?"
Ilya shook his head, jaw tense in the way Shane knew meant he was trying to keep himself from crying.
"Nope," Hayden answered. "Though if it were legal I'd wear one myself." He glared at Ilya. "Not yours, though."
The ref blew his whistle and the three of them fell into position on opposite sides of the blue line.
They could do this. The world wasn't over, their careers were fine, everything would be okay.
Shane bent over the ice.
"Good luck," Shane said. And Ilya just smirked.
