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Hikaru had been eagerly awaiting Christmas and had been pestering Yoshiki about it since December rolled around. Initially, Hikaru’s curiosity set off Yoshiki in the worst way possible. The holidays had never been easy for him, as they were filled with nosey family members and a forced trip to his grandparents that he definitely did not want to attend. He dreaded the inevitable questioning of his grandparents.
“Yoshiki, how ya doin’ in yer classes? Ya got a girl yer seein’?”
The first question was always replied with a curt ‘fine’, while the second one he desperately searched for any plausible excuse that he was in fact, not seeing any girl.
But as the month pressed on, Yoshiki started warming up to the idea of celebrating Christmas with Hikaru. Every time Hikaru talked about the shimmering decorations he saw while walking around their home of Tokyo, Yoshiki would notice how his eyes filled with pure joy. Hikaru never failed to remind him that things were different now. No one was going to interrogate him, or make him feel like his existence was wrong; he was free from judgement and embraced with endless acceptance.
While Yoshiki waited for Hikaru to return home, he felt that familiar buzz in his pocket. Checking the contact name, it was someone he really didn’t have the patience to ever converse with.
“So Yoshiki, when are ya’ visiting the rest of the family? Yer mom has been worried sick since ya’ never call.” Yoshiki’s dad questioned, impatiently waiting for a response.
Yoshiki wanted to puke. Why couldn’t his family leave him alone or just straight up forget him? He thought he had made it perfectly clear that he had zero interest in coming back to Kubitachi, but apparently not. Yoshiki took a deep breath.
“Dad, I’m stayin’ here in Tokyo. I’m real busy with school and work… Maybe I can see ya guys after New Years.” As Yoshiki spoke, he heard his father loudly exhale through the phone.
“Son, I know yer busy n all but it would be nice if ya would visit us for at least a few days, everyone’s asking bout’ ya. Ya know, Ms.Indou was talking to yer mom bout’ how she was worried that yer all alone or that yer not eating well enough. At least be gracious enough to have those poor women stop frettin’ over ya .” Yoshiki groaned. Why does his dad always have to lay down the guilt? He didn’t want to think about Hikaru, or his mama, or the entirety of that god forsaken village.
“I’m fine, dad. They don’t need to worry about me.” Yoshiki replied, his annoyance slowly growing more and more.
“The village folk have known ya since you were a baby, and Ms.Indou is practically a second mom to ya she has every right to worry and know what's going on in yer life! I’m sure Hikaru would want ya to take care of his mama-” Yoshiki started gritting through his teeth, ready to throw the phone at the wall. That was enough of this conversation, if he had to hear one more thing from his old man, he might truly start to lose it.
“Ya know, my life isn’t anyone’s business but mine. It would be real ‘gracious of you’ to not tell the whole world about it. I will not be seeing any one of you. Goodbye.” Before Yoshiki’s father could get another word in, he hung up the phone and slammed it on the table in front of him. As he placed his head into his hands in annoyance, the front door clicked open.
“Yoshiki! Look what I got at the supermarket!” Yoshiki looked up from his hands to see Hikaru beaming at Yoshiki with the widest smile, arms filled with a mixed assortment of baking goods and ingredients.
“I was lookin’ around online for stuff to do… n’ I found this recipe for these Christmas Cookies- Oh ya look miserable, what's the matter?”
Hikaru places himself right next to Yoshiki, slinging his arm around him. Yoshiki leaned into him, letting out a sigh of relief.
“Dad called, he was askin’ about me visiting him n’ everyone else for the holidays. I told him that I’m busy, but he kept bringing up how everyone was worried about me. And then he brought up Hikaru and his mama.” Yoshiki huffed while combing through his hair with his hands, attempting to steady himself.
“And ya know, the holidays have always been difficult for me. Every year, I had to see my relatives and they’d always be prying into my life, askin’ the same questions that do nothin’ but stress me out. My grandparents tend to look down on me, since I’ve always been ‘different’ from others.” Yoshik’s words were spilling out like running water. Hikaru grabbed onto his hand, letting Yoshiki know he was there.
“Ya don’t have to go back and visit them, it’s pretty obvious this bothers ya; even if yer dad makes ya feel bad about it. We can make our own holiday traditions and they’ll be way better than yer family’s!” Hikaru announced with full confidence in himself. “In fact, let’s start right now!” He stood up, dragging Yoshiki along with him towards their kitchen.
Neither Yoshiki nor Hikaru were particularly good in the kitchen. Regardless, Hikaru still loved to cook and bake. He would spend hours on YouTube binging all sorts of cooking and baking videos, trying to recreate his favorite recipes. Unfortunately, the vast majority of his attempts resulted in an inedible mess that Yoshiki would begrudgingly clean up.
Hikaru dumped all the ingredients on the kitchen counter, his face full of glee. Yoshiki looked over at the spread of ingredients sprawled over the counter. What Yoshiki found strange is a good handful of these ingredients seemed like they weren’t related to baking cookies, especially not festive ones.
“Are ya sure these are the right ingredients…? I’ve never seen someone bake cookies with spinach before.” Yoshiki said, holding the leafy green in his hands.
“It’s to make the cookies green, duh!” Hikaru said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Yoshiki looked at him, completely mortified.
Yoshiki began prepping the ingredients into a large bowl. Flour, eggs, sugar, coffee, orange juice- Where the hell did he find this recipe? Was he just mashing random things together in hopes that maybe something good comes out of it? Yoshiki is gonna have to talk about this with him after they are done making… something. After Yoshiki put all the unique choice of ingredients together, he mixed it until the mixture was a vague dough texture. Hikaru came over to help shape the dough into shapes. Yoshiki shaped the dough into all sorts of different beetles, while Hikaru tried to make one of Yoshiki's face, but it turned out to be a bit demented.
“According to the recipe, we need to preheat the oven to 115°C.” Hikaru said while reading off a small, handwritten note card. Yoshiki raised an eyebrow at this.
“That doesn’t sound quite right, I don't think the cookies will even fully cook at that temperature.” Hikaru waved him off with complete confidence in his soon-to-be creation.
“I’m sure it will turn out just fine! The recipe said so, so it can’t be wrong!” Yoshiki was starting to think Hikaru was just intentionally trying to mess with him now.
And As Yoshiki expected, the cookies did not turn out well. If anything, calling them ‘cookies’ was generous. Despite the ‘cookies’ being disgusting, Yoshiki was enjoying the holidays for once. He savoured every moment with Hikaru, from his warmth to his laughter. As the night came to a close, the two of them laid on their couch. Delicate flakes of snows started to fall from the sky, showering them both in a silver hue.
“So did I make yer holidays worthwhile?” Hikaru asked while laying on top of Yoshiki, tracing the black scars on his arms. Yoshiki reached up to Hikaru and played with his white strands of hair.
“Ya did… Thank you for being here.” Yoshiki spoke quietly, hits of pink creeping onto his cheeks. Hikaru was Yoshiki’s home, his safety, his everything.