Work Text:
“Thanks for assuming that, but no, I do have other friends, I mean, think about it, when are me and Phil together? When I make a video with him, and how often may I make a video that might include Phil? Every three weeks? So, you know, I’m not with him every single day, I have other friends that I socialize with. But, you know, when I make a video, then there is a chance that I’ll probably film it at Phil house, just cause, he’s another YouTuber and it’s easy, so, you know…”
Dan trailed off and posted the response.
“I’m sorry,” he said looking at Phil who was sitting on the couch playing video games off camera. Phil was looking at Dan with sad puppy dog eyes that broke Dan’s heart every time he saw them, especially when he was the cause.
Phil squinted, “what do you have to be sorry about?”
Dan sighed, “I’m sitting here in your literal shirt, in your literal living room saying you mean nothing to me, I mean, not literally just, not, you know…I love you” Dan finished helplessly, as Phil made his way over to sit with Dan on the floor.
He took the computer and carefully moved it back so he was sitting in front of Dan and took his hands, rubbing soft circles with his thumbs.
“Dan, I’m not sad because you don’t want people to know, or that you don’t feel ready to talk about your sexuality or because I chose to go back in the closet because you weren’t comfortable being with me any other way.”
Dan looked down not loving any part of this conversation. He felt tears prick his eyes, and started blinking really fast to make them go away.
“Dan, look at me,” Phil said softly, lifting his chin, Dan looked up. Despite his best efforts, he had started crying. Phil put his hand on Dan’s face and used his thumb to wipe away the tears. They sat like that for a moment, Dan willing himself to stop crying, but being unsuccessful and Phil wiping away every single tear he saw.
“I’m finished, you can continue now,” Dan said sniffling and laughing softly.
Phil smiled back, but it didn’t reach his eyes, “I am sad, but not because of any of that, Okay?” Dan nodded.
“I’m sad that you had such a fucked up childhood that you don’t feel safe. I’m sad that I can’t do anything to change that. I’m sad that I can give you everything in the world and you’re still scared. I love you. And you can say whatever you think you need to to be able to get through the day. If you have to pretend to hate me in public, that’s fine. If you don’t want to film here anymore and only film back at Uni, that’s fine too. Whatever you need, however you need to do it, I’m not going anywhere.” Phil leaned in and kissed Dan lightly.
“Okay?” he asked softly.
“Okay.” Dan said looking a bit like a kicked puppy.
He took a deep breath, “but what if I actually hate you?” Dan said smiling slightly, regaining his composure.
“Shut up,” Phil said, trying to best to keep a straight face.
“What if I actually hate you and I’m only here because you have better internet and do my laundry for me, and I secretly leave here and go back to uni housing thinking about how ugly you are and how you’d never suspect a thing?” Dan moved closer with every word until Phil was leaning back on his elbows being very careful not to knock over Dan’s incredibly precarious set up.
“Well, you love me, so that’s not an issue, is it?” Phil said smiling brightly.
“No, no, I guess it’s not.” Dan responded, not really willing to keep up the charade at that moment.
Dan leaned in and Phil dodged his lips, “after.” he said, smirking, as he clumsily stood up.
“But Phiiiiillll,” Dan whined.
“What are you gonna say to all the 12 year olds who start saying ‘oh Dan, my beloved Dan, where did you go?’” Phil said going back to his place behind the couch.
“That I was fucking my fucking beautiful Youtube friend that lied and said only see every three weeks even though I basically live in his apartment,” Dan said while standing up and walking over to Phil, “that I just couldn’t possibly miss the opportunity to be in bed with him.” Phil walked backwards into the kitchen as Dan came closer.
“that my little Danosaurs pale in comparison to the translucent man standing in front of me with hair that blocks out the sun and blue eyes that also look gray or green in certain light.” Dan got closer and Phil started laughing as he stumbled away, towards to balcony door.
“You’re not gonna win.” Dan smirked, continuing to walk towards Phil.
“Yes, I really really am, cause not a single article of clothing is coming off before you finish your Vyous. And I’m going to stare you down till you go sit back down on the floor.” Phil fixed Dan with his best glare, in the moment, which, considering he was barely able to keep it together wasn’t all that intimating, but it worked anyway, Dan slunk back to the floor and pulled his recording set up close.
“You’re no, fun, I hate you.” Dan said looking off at Phil. “You love me, and you can show me how much, when you finish, but I’m clearly a distraction, so just meet me in the bedroom when you’re done.” Phil said, slowly removing articles of clothing as he left the room.
It took every ounce of Dan’s willpower not to follow, but Phil was right, his fans would be really upset if he didn’t film some more responses, and he loved his fans, and really didn’t want them to be upset with him, not for this, anyway.
So he started scrolling, trying to find where he’d last left off, but it wasn’t easy, cause there were a bunch of new questions:
“WHERE DID YOU GOOOOOOOO?????????????”
“DO U H8 US?!!?11!!??!!?!?”
“u lied, u said u were online but ur not!”
“you didnt anwer my ?”
He closed his laptop and put it on the couch. If they’re already mad, it couldn’t get worse if they were waiting another 20 minutes, could it?
So he made his way to the bedroom, picking up Phil’s discarded clothes as he went.
The Vyous could wait, he had a sad Phil to cheer up.