Chapter Text
The world around her is silent, except for the quick, shaky, pained breaths that pass through Steve's bloody lips. She clings to the sound like it's a lifeline. And in reality, for her, it kind of is. His throat rattles as he breathes in, wheezes as he breathes out. While she listens to his breathing, counts each breath in her head, her eyes stare at his chest. She watches as it rises, then falls. Another lifeline. Another sign that Steve is still here. They are still here. She lifts their bloody hands and presses the back of his to her cheek. They're still here.
"Robin?" A sudden hand on her shoulder makes her jump and suddenly the world around them returns. They're in the van, racing to the hospital. Jonathan is driving with Max screaming out directions for a faster route. "Robin?" Nancy says again. "Robin, we're almost there." Nancy's voice is soft, understanding, pitying.
"I lost count." Robin whispers to Nancy, but was really talking to herself. Nancy's brows furrow in confusion. "I lost-I lost count." Was he still breathing? Her eyes locked back on his chest. She held her breath and waited until she saw his chest move, until she heard the wheeze of his exhale, before finally letting herself breathe again. He's okay. She didn't mess up.
Nancy rubbed her back for a moment before making her way back towards the front of the van. Robin took in her surroundings for the first time. Jonathan, Nancy, and Max were navigating in the front. Lucas, Will, and Mike sat out of the way, trying not to stare over at them, but they were anyway. Steve laid in front of her, his hand in hers, his blood pooling on the floor of the van beneath him. Directly across from her, holding his other hand tightly, was Dustin. His tears had dried up, as did the blood all over the front of his shirt. His eyes stared down at Steve's face. The fear in Dustin was palpable. It was almost like an aura around him. She wanted to comfort him, tell him that Steve is okay and that this will all be over soon. But who was she to comfort anyone? It's what Steve would want.
"Dust-"
"We're here!" Max yelled before rushing to the back of the van. She made it a point to not look at Steve. As soon as the van jolted to a stop, Max shoved the van doors open and hopped out. "We need help out here!" She yelled to the nurses inside the ER. Two nurses looked over. "Help!" She yelled again. One rushed out while the other rushed to grab a gurney.
"Shut up." Everyone was giving direction and moving around the van. "Shut up." Jonathan reached in. "SHUT UP!" Everyone stopped. There was no wheezing. His chest wasn't moving. "Oh my God." Robin breathed, panic filling ever fiber of her being. "Steve!"
"Move!" Jonathan was firm as he pushed her aside and pulled Steve as hard as he could from the van. He struggled, but he carried him in his arms towards the ER to meet the nurse with the gurney. "He's not breathing!" he yelled out to them as he placed him down on the gurney. One of the nurses checked for a pulse, checked his breathing, before she climbed on top of him and immediately began compressions on his chest.
"Steve!" Max grabbed Dustin before he could go any further, holding him back, her eyes staring away from the scene in front of them. "Steve!" Dustin tried pushing past her, but Lucas was there in an instant, helping to keep him back. "Steve!" he reached for him.
Two more nurses and a Doctor rushed out and ran along side the gurney as the nurse on top of Steve performed CPR. They rushed into the ER and left everyone outside in silence. Dustin collapsed in Max and Lucas' arms, his cries muffled in Max's shoulder. Will and Mike were quick to come around and comfort him.
Robin stood behind all of them. Her clothes, her hands, her face all stained red from his blood. His blood. Steve's blood. Her skin tingled and breathing became more and more difficult with every passing second. Did Steve just die? She opened her mouth to ask, but all that came out was a strangled sob that had been buried deep in her chest. "Oh my God." Her shaky hands reached up to grab her head. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. The world was spinning. "Oh my God." she sobbed, the tears finally falling. Her hands dropped from her head and she pressed a palm against the van as she leaned against it. She tried to walk along side it but ended up collapsing to her knees just as vomit flew out of her mouth. On her hands and knees she threw up right in the parking lot. Somewhere in the depth of her brain she felt Nancy's hand on her back. Somewhere in the back of her mind she heard her soft voice comforting her, telling her he would be okay. Everything would be okay.
But would it be? Steve stopped breathing and now she couldn't breathe either. Maybe they really were soulmates and when his lungs stopped working so did hers. Maybe their existence became so intertwined that one simply couldn't be without the other. Maybe he's gone and he's taking her with him. Maybe she didn't mind. That idea didn't bother her as much as it should. Where Steve went, she would follow. Anywhere.
"Robin, you're having a panic attack." Nancy said gently at her side, finally breaking through her thoughts. "Just focus on your breathing."
"No." Robin sobbed, shaking her head. She leaned back against the van, beside her own vomit. She held her face in her hands, shielding her tears from the world. "No." Her body shook with sobs.
"Yes." Nancy said, firmly. "Yes. You will focus on your breathing. Steve will be okay. And when he wakes up, he's going to need you to be okay. I know this hurt and if you want to scream and cry and throw up no one will stop you. But you must keep breathing. Do you hear me?" Nancy lift Robin's chin, forcing their eyes to meet. Robin was afraid if she opened her mouth she would fall apart, so she just nodded. "Good. Now lets get you cleaned up." She looked pointedly down at Robin's hands.
Robin held her hands up to look at. They were covered in Steve's blood. The blood was mostly dried now, the dark color caked into the lines of her hands. Some was still a lighter red, a wet shine to it. "What if this is all I have left of him?"
"It's not." Nancy reassured her. "Steve is going to be okay. Your heart can restart. Your lungs can breathe again. Lets trust the Doctors to do what they need to do. Steve will be okay." Nancy stood up and held her hand out to Robin.
It took Robin a moment, but she took Nancy's hand and let her lift her up. Nancy helped her walk around the side of the van, a gentle hand on her back. The kids were all still huddled around Dustin, who was no longer sobbing, but back to his semi catatonic state. A stab of guilt sliced at Robin's heart. She should have went to him. She should have hugged him. They should have went through this together, because they were in this together. Their love for Steve was different and Steve's love for them was different. But when Steve's body hit the ground there was only one voice that screamed as loud as hers, and that was Dustin. Steve would have wanted them to be there for each other. She'd failed the kid.
"Dustin..." Robin stood in front of the group, not really sure what to say. Dustin didn't even look at her. His blue eyes were fixed forward. Steve always said that Dustin was the smartest person he ever met. He said you could see his brain working through his eyes, the brilliance shining. But his eyes were dead. His brain was off. He was protecting himself in a way that made Robin envious. He turned off his feelings and feel was all Robin could do.
"We got him." Mike said, with a short nod. Her eyes met his and he wasn't being unkind when he said it. He was reassuring her. And it did, reassure her. Must be a Wheeler trait. "Don't worry about him. We got him." He said, before turning his attention back to his friend.
Robin nodded and Nancy put her hand on her back again to lead her away. They walked through the sliding glass doors of the ER. Nancy tried leading Robin to the bathroom but Robin stopped. "What is it?" Nancy asked, before her eyes followed Robin's. A trail of blood. "Robin, no-" but Robin was already following the trail. "Robin, no!" Nancy was quick to grab her arm, but Robin pushed her off. "Robin, stop! You can't go back there!" Nancy reached for her again but Robin got her arm free. "Shit!" Nancy rushed after her. "Stop, stop, STOP!" Nancy grabbed Robin's arm hard.
"Get off of me!" Robin swung at Nancy hard enough to knock her to the ground. She paused for a moment, shocked at what she had done. It wasn't like her to be violent and she hadn't meant to do it, especially to Nancy. But the blood. Steve's blood. She had to see him. "I'm..." Robin shook her head before rushing off to follow the trail of blood.
"Robin!" Nancy started to get up.
Robin ignored Nancy, but as soon as she rounded the corner she caught Hopper, Joyce, El, and Jonathan. She moved to rush past them but El's hand raised and her body stopped moving. She was using her powers on her, the little shit.
"I am sorry. You do not hit Nancy." El said. She only lowered her hand and let Robin go once Nancy and Jonathan had her. Nancy and El nodded at each other, before El and Joyce went to find the kids. Hopper stayed around to keep an eye on things.
"You have to let me go see him. You have to." Robin said, sounding and feeling completely defeated. "I'm sorry for what I did. But, but you have to let me see him." Her voice cracked. "You have to let me say goodbye." She cried. "Please."
Nancy pulled Robin to her and held her tight, letting out a deep sigh. She rubbed Robin's back in soothing circles. "He's going to be okay. He's going to be okay." She whispered in Robin's hair. Her eyes lifted to meet Jonathan's. She gave a short nod and Jonathan went to find his mother and brother.
"Everything okay?" Hopper asked. Nancy nodded and he quietly walked away as well.
They stood in the hallway and held each other as the world moved around them. Nancy was patient and she waited as long as Robin needed to. She waited until the sobbing stopped and Robin's body stilled. She wasn't sure how long their had stood there, and it didn't really matter. "Lets get you cleaned up." Nancy said before pulling out of the hug.
"I'm sorry." Robin wiped her eyes. "I shouldn't have-"
"Forget it. I already have. Lets get you cleaned up." Nancy said, gently leading her to the bathrooms. It was a quiet journey across the hospital. Once they arrived, Nancy held the door open for Robin to step inside. Robin didn't say or do anything, so Nancy took charge. She turned the water on and gently took Robin's hands, placing them under the water. She pumped some soap out of the dispenser and rubbed the white foam over Robin's hands.
All Robin could do is watch as Nancy lathered her hands with soap, the red turning to a slick pink. The water in the sink turned red and circled the drain. For a moment Robin felt that it was pretty symbolic of their lives right now. Steve's blood circling the drain. Eventually the red water turned clear and her hands were clean again. It felt like a loss. It felt like Steve was gone all over again.
Nancy turned the water off and grabbed two paper towels and began drying her hands for her. She was gentle as she rubbed the skin, making sure she dried between her fingers, under her nails. Robin watched her as she worked. As she cared for her. "I'm sorry I hit you." Robin whispered between them.
"Don't be-"
"No." Her voice was more firm now, demanding her apology not be shrugged off. "No. I am sorry that I hit you. You. Of all people not you. Unforgivable." She nodded, meeting Nancy's eyes. "You have been unbelievably kind to me. You-" She swallowed, trying not to let the emotion get the best of her. "You saved him." She nodded, tears filling her eyes again. "I froze. You saved him."
"No-"
"Yes." Robin's voice was firm again. She wasn't going to let Nancy be humble. "Yes. When the Demogorgon got him. You shot it. Before it could finish him off, you shot it." And the image replayed once again in her head. The monster roaring, pushing back on it's hind legs, ready to leap onto Steve who laid on the ground bleeding. Just as he was ready to pounce, just as he was ready to finish Steve off, Nancy had shot it. Five times. She continued even after it stopped moving. "I'll never forget what you did. I won't, because you're right. Steve is going to live." She didn't believe it, but God, she wanted to. "And that's because of you."
"And you."
"I stood there. I did nothing-"
"Robin. You didn't have to-"
"He's my best friend." Robin scoffed. "I should have done something!"
Nancy shook her head. "That's what you did. You're his best friend, Robin. I may have stopped the Demogorgon but if he pulls out of this, which I really believe he will, it will be for you and for that mini genius out there." Nancy said, pointing in the direction of the door. "Listen," she lowered her arm with a sigh. "When Steve went down... he didn't look at the Demogorgon. He wasn't concerned about the monster about to kill him. He heard you, and Dustin, call his name. He looked at you. He was worried about you while he was bleeding out, I mean... he's strong. He will come back for you guys. He's not going to leave you like that."
Robin sniffled and nodded in agreement, though she wasn't sure herself. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Thank you. For everything." Robin let out a nervous laugh. "I'm kind of a mess right now."
Nancy gave a small laugh back. "You kind of deserve to be right now."
Robin sniffled again, before meeting Nancy's eyes. "Yeah?"
Nancy grinned at her, her hand going to Robin's shoulder. "Yeah." She squeezed her shoulder. "Lets go wait with the others." She said softly, giving her a reassuring grin. Nancy opened the bathroom door for Robin, who had to take a breath before exiting.
Nancy watched as she walked out and said a gentle prayer to whoever or whatever is out there. Please let Steve live. Let this nightmare end. Let Robin find peace. And then with a deep breath, she followed.